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generates new headlines by The Onion by regurgitating and combining old headlines
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This app takes a list of headlines from The Onion, builds a Markov Chain, and generates new article titles. Example:

"McDonald’s Now Offering Sainthood To Anyone In Character Costume"

This comes from the following real articles:

  • "McDonald’s Now Offering Bereavement Prices"
  • "Desperate Catholic Church Now Offering Sainthood To Anyone Who Regularly Attends Weekly Mass"
  • "Report: Most Parents Willing To Entrust Children To Anyone In Character Costume"

Greatest hits:

  • "Woman Injured In Rush To Save Relationship"
  • "Child Therapist Excited To Have Normal Conversation"
  • "Congressman Hurt To Discover Cure For Whatever He's Getting"
  • "Report: Whites More Likely To Be Driven To Extinction By Humans"
  • "New Study Finds 85% Of Americans Would Like To Consume Much More"
  • "Poll Shows Majority Of Americans Just Want To Feel Something, Anything"
  • "Relationship Experts Recommend Standing Up At Airport Burrito Restaurant"
  • "TSA Agent Can’t Bring Himself To Care About Stupid Bullshit Again"
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