diff --git a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/backend/db_tests.js b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/backend/db_tests.js
index 683362cdbc6..75388c5b3a0 100644
--- a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/backend/db_tests.js
+++ b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/backend/db_tests.js
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
 
 'use strict'
 
-const assert = require('insist')
+const { assert } = require('chai')
 const crypto = require('crypto')
 const P = require('bluebird')
 const util = require('../../../lib/db/util')
@@ -289,7 +289,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
         return db.checkPassword(accountData.uid, {verifyHash: zeroBuffer32})
           .then((account) => {
             assert.deepEqual(account.uid, account.uid, 'uid')
-            assert.equal(Object.keys(account).length, 1, 'Only one field (uid) was returned, nothing else')
+            assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(account), 1)
           })
       })
     })
@@ -304,10 +304,10 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
       it('should get sessions', () => {
         return db.sessions(accountData.uid)
           .then((sessions) => {
-            assert(Array.isArray(sessions), 'sessions is an array')
-            assert.equal(sessions.length, 1, 'sessions has one item')
+            assert.isArray(sessions)
+            assert.lengthOf(sessions, 1)
 
-            assert.equal(Object.keys(sessions[0]).length, 20, 'session has correct properties')
+            assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(sessions[0]), 20)
             assert.equal(sessions[0].tokenId.toString('hex'), sessionTokenData.tokenId.toString('hex'), 'tokenId is correct')
             assert.equal(sessions[0].uid.toString('hex'), accountData.uid.toString('hex'), 'uid is correct')
             assert.equal(sessions[0].createdAt, sessionTokenData.createdAt, 'createdAt is correct')
@@ -332,15 +332,15 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             return db.sessions(accountData.uid)
           })
           .then((sessions) => {
-            assert(Array.isArray(sessions), 'sessions is an array')
-            assert.equal(sessions.length, 1, 'sessions has one item')
+            assert.isArray(sessions)
+            assert.lengthOf(sessions, 1)
           })
       })
 
       it('should get session token', () => {
         return db.sessionToken(sessionTokenData.tokenId)
           .then((token) => {
-            assert.equal(token.hasOwnProperty('tokenId'), false, 'tokenId is not returned')
+            assert.isFalse(token.hasOwnProperty('tokenId'))
             assert.deepEqual(token.tokenData, sessionTokenData.data, 'token data matches')
             assert.deepEqual(token.uid, accountData.uid, 'token belongs to this account')
             assert.equal(token.createdAt, sessionTokenData.createdAt, 'createdAt is correct')
@@ -484,7 +484,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
           }, assert.fail)
           .then((token) => {
             assert.equal(!! token.mustVerify, false, 'mustVerify is null')
-            assert.equal(token.tokenVerificationId, null, 'tokenVerificationId is null')
+            assert.isNull(token.tokenVerificationId)
           })
       })
 
@@ -498,14 +498,14 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
         it('should get device count', () => {
           return db.accountDevices(accountData.uid)
             .then((results) => {
-              assert.equal(results.length, 1, 'Account has one device')
+              assert.lengthOf(results, 1)
             })
         })
 
         it('db.sessions should contain device data', () => {
           return db.sessions(accountData.uid)
             .then((sessions) => {
-              assert.equal(sessions.length, 1, 'sessions contains correct number of items')
+              assert.lengthOf(sessions, 1)
               // the next session has a device attached to it
               assert.equal(sessions[0].deviceId.toString('hex'), deviceData.deviceId.toString('hex'))
               assert.equal(sessions[0].deviceName, 'Test Device')
@@ -521,12 +521,12 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
         it('db.deleteSessionToken should delete device', () => {
           return db.accountDevices(accountData.uid)
             .then((results) => {
-              assert.equal(results.length, 1, 'Account has one device')
+              assert.lengthOf(results, 1)
               return db.deleteSessionToken(sessionTokenData.tokenId)
             })
             .then(() => db.accountDevices(accountData.uid))
             .then((results) => {
-              assert.equal(results.length, 0, 'Account has no devices')
+              assert.lengthOf(results, 0)
             })
         })
       })
@@ -572,15 +572,15 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             return db.keyFetchToken(keyFetchTokenData.tokenId)
           })
           .then((token) => {
-            assert.equal(token.tokenId, undefined, 'tokenId is not returned')
+            assert.isUndefined(token.tokenId)
             assert.deepEqual(token.authKey, keyFetchTokenData.authKey, 'authKey matches')
             assert.deepEqual(token.uid, accountData.uid, 'token belongs to this account')
             assert.equal(token.createdAt, keyFetchTokenData.createdAt, 'createdAt is ok')
             assert.equal(!! token.emailVerified, accountData.emailVerified, 'emailVerified is correct')
-            assert.equal(token.email, undefined, 'tokenId is not returned')
-            assert.equal(token.emailCode, undefined, 'tokenId is not returned')
+            assert.isUndefined(token.email)
+            assert.isUndefined(token.emailCode)
             assert.equal(token.verifierSetAt, accountData.verifierSetAt, 'verifierSetAt is correct')
-            assert.equal(token.tokenVerificationId, undefined, 'tokenVerificationId is undefined')
+            assert.isUndefined(token.tokenVerificationId)
           })
       })
 
@@ -592,13 +592,13 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             return db.keyFetchTokenWithVerificationStatus(keyFetchTokenData.tokenId)
           })
           .then((token) => {
-            assert.equal(token.tokenId, undefined, 'tokenId is not returned')
+            assert.isUndefined(token.tokenId)
             assert.deepEqual(token.authKey, keyFetchTokenData.authKey, 'authKey matches')
             assert.deepEqual(token.uid, accountData.uid, 'token belongs to this account')
             assert.equal(token.createdAt, keyFetchTokenData.createdAt, 'createdAt is ok')
             assert.equal(!! token.emailVerified, accountData.emailVerified, 'emailVerified is correct')
-            assert.equal(token.email, undefined, 'tokenId is not returned')
-            assert.equal(token.emailCode, undefined, 'tokenId is not returned')
+            assert.isUndefined(token.email)
+            assert.isUndefined(token.emailCode)
             assert.equal(token.verifierSetAt, accountData.verifierSetAt, 'verifierSetAt is correct')
             assert.equal(token.tokenVerificationId, keyFetchTokenData.tokenVerificationId, 'tokenVerificationId is undefined')
           })
@@ -643,7 +643,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             return db.keyFetchTokenWithVerificationStatus(keyFetchTokenData.tokenId)
           })
           .then((token) => {
-            assert.equal(token.tokenVerificationId, null, 'tokenVerificationId is null')
+            assert.isNull(token.tokenVerificationId)
           })
       })
 
@@ -774,7 +774,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
         .then(function (account) {
           assert(account.emailVerified, 'account should now be emailVerified (truthy)')
           assert.equal(account.emailVerified, 1, 'account should now be emailVerified (1)')
-          assert.equal(account.profileChangedAt > account.createdAt, true, 'profileChangedAt updated')
+          assert.isAbove(account.profileChangedAt, account.createdAt)
         })
     })
 
@@ -808,7 +808,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
       it('db.accountResetToken should create token', () => {
         return db.accountResetToken(accountResetTokenData.tokenId)
           .then((token) => {
-            assert.equal(token.hasOwnProperty('tokenId'), false, 'tokenId is not returned')
+            assert.isFalse(token.hasOwnProperty('tokenId'))
             assert.deepEqual(token.uid, accountData.uid, 'token belongs to this account')
             assert.deepEqual(token.tokenData, accountResetTokenData.data, 'token data matches')
             assert.equal(token.createdAt, accountResetTokenData.createdAt, 'createdAt is correct')
@@ -997,11 +997,11 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
       it('should get all devices', () => {
         return db.accountDevices(accountData.uid)
           .then((devices) => {
-            assert.equal(devices.length, 2, 'devices length 2')
+            assert.lengthOf(devices, 2)
 
             let device = devices.find(matchById('sessionTokenId', sessionTokenData.tokenId))
             assert.deepEqual(device.sessionTokenId, sessionTokenData.tokenId, 'sessionTokenId')
-            assert.deepEqual(device.refreshTokenId, null, 'refreshTokenId')
+            assert.isNull(device.refreshTokenId)
             assert.equal(device.name, sessionDeviceInfo.name, 'name')
             assert.deepEqual(device.id, sessionDeviceInfo.deviceId, 'id')
             assert.equal(device.createdAt, sessionDeviceInfo.createdAt, 'createdAt')
@@ -1011,10 +1011,10 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             assert.equal(device.callbackAuthKey, sessionDeviceInfo.callbackAuthKey, 'callbackAuthKey')
             assert.equal(device.callbackIsExpired, sessionDeviceInfo.callbackIsExpired, 'callbackIsExpired')
             assert.deepEqual(device.availableCommands, sessionDeviceInfo.availableCommands, 'availableCommands')
-            assert(device.lastAccessTime > 0, 'has a lastAccessTime')
+            assert.isAbove(device.lastAccessTime, 0)
 
             device = devices.find(matchById('refreshTokenId', refreshTokenData.tokenId))
-            assert.deepEqual(device.sessionTokenId, null, 'sessionTokenId')
+            assert.isNull(device.sessionTokenId)
             assert.deepEqual(device.refreshTokenId, refreshTokenData.tokenId, 'refreshTokenId')
             assert.equal(device.name, oauthDeviceInfo.name, 'name')
             assert.deepEqual(device.id, oauthDeviceInfo.deviceId, 'id')
@@ -1025,7 +1025,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             assert.equal(device.callbackAuthKey, oauthDeviceInfo.callbackAuthKey, 'callbackAuthKey')
             assert.equal(device.callbackIsExpired, oauthDeviceInfo.callbackIsExpired, 'callbackIsExpired')
             assert.deepEqual(device.availableCommands, oauthDeviceInfo.availableCommands, 'availableCommands')
-            assert.equal(device.lastAccessTime, null, 'does not have lastAccessTime')
+            assert.isNull(device.lastAccessTime)
           })
       })
 
@@ -1050,7 +1050,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             return db.accountDevices(accountData.uid)
           })
           .then((devices) => {
-            assert.equal(devices.length, 2, 'devices length 2')
+            assert.lengthOf(devices, 2)
             const device = devices.find(matchById('sessionTokenId', newSessionTokenData.tokenId))
             assert.ok(device, 'device found under new token id')
             assert.equal(device.name, 'New New Device', 'name updated')
@@ -1081,7 +1081,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             return db.accountDevices(accountData.uid)
           })
           .then((devices) => {
-            assert.equal(devices.length, 2, 'devices length 2')
+            assert.lengthOf(devices, 2)
             const device = devices.find(matchById('refreshTokenId', newRefreshTokenData.tokenId))
             assert.ok(device, 'device found under new token id')
             assert.equal(device.name, 'New New Device', 'name updated')
@@ -1103,8 +1103,8 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             return db.accountDevices(accountData.uid)
           })
           .then((devices) => {
-            assert.equal(devices.length, 1, 'devices length 1')
-            assert.equal(devices[0].sessionTokenId, null, 'sessionTokenId')
+            assert.lengthOf(devices, 1)
+            assert.isNull(devices[0].sessionTokenId)
             assert.deepEqual(devices[0].refreshTokenId, refreshTokenData.tokenId, 'refreshTokenId')
           })
       })
@@ -1135,7 +1135,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             return db.accountDevices(accountData.uid)
           })
           .then((devices) => {
-            assert.equal(devices.length, 2, 'devices length 2')
+            assert.lengthOf(devices, 2)
             const comboDeviceInfo = devices.find(matchById('sessionTokenId', sessionTokenData.tokenId))
             assert.ok(comboDeviceInfo, 'found device record')
             assert.deepEqual(comboDeviceInfo.refreshTokenId, anotherRefreshToken.tokenId)
@@ -1221,7 +1221,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
           .then(() => db.createDevice(accountData.uid, sessionDeviceInfo3.deviceId, sessionDeviceInfo3))
           .then(() => db.accountDevices(accountData.uid))
           .then(devices => {
-            assert.equal(devices.length, 4, 'devices length 4')
+            assert.lengthOf(devices, 4)
 
             const device1 = devices.find(matchById('sessionTokenId', sessionTokenData.tokenId))
             assert.ok(device1, 'found first device')
@@ -1256,7 +1256,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
           .then(() => db.createSessionToken(sessionToken3.tokenId, sessionToken3))
           .then(() => db.sessions(accountData.uid))
           .then(sessions => {
-            assert.equal(sessions.length, 3, 'sessions length 3')
+            assert.lengthOf(sessions, 3)
 
             const session1 = sessions.find(s => s.tokenId.equals(sessionTokenData.tokenId))
             assert.ok(session1, 'found first session')
@@ -1281,7 +1281,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             // Fetch all of the devices for the account
             return db.accountDevices(accountData.uid)
           })
-          .then((devices) => assert.equal(devices.length, 1, 'devices length 1'))
+          .then((devices) => assert.lengthOf(devices, 1))
           .then(() => db.sessionToken(sessionTokenData.tokenId))
           .then(assert.fail, (err) => {
             assert.equal(err.code, 404, 'err.code')
@@ -1297,7 +1297,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             // Fetch all of the devices for the account
             return db.accountDevices(accountData.uid)
           })
-          .then((devices) => assert.equal(devices.length, 1, 'devices length 1'))
+          .then((devices) => assert.lengthOf(devices, 1))
       })
     })
 
@@ -1317,7 +1317,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
         return db.accountEmails(accountData.uid)
           .then((emails) => {
             // Account should be unverified
-            assert.equal(emails.length, 1, 'correct number of emails')
+            assert.lengthOf(emails, 1)
             assert.equal(!! emails[0].isVerified, false, 'email is not verified')
             assert.equal(!! emails[0].isPrimary, true, 'email is primary')
 
@@ -1326,7 +1326,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
           .then(() => db.accountEmails(accountData.uid))
           .then((emails) => {
             // Account should be verified
-            assert.equal(emails.length, 1, 'correct number of emails')
+            assert.lengthOf(emails, 1)
             assert.equal(!! emails[0].isVerified, true, 'email is verified')
             assert.equal(!! emails[0].isPrimary, true, 'email is primary')
           })
@@ -1335,12 +1335,12 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
       it('should remove devices after account reset', () => {
         return db.accountDevices(accountData.uid)
           .then((devices) => {
-            assert.equal(devices.length, 1, 'The devices length should be one')
+            assert.lengthOf(devices, 1)
             return db.resetAccount(accountData.uid, accountData)
           })
           .then(() => db.accountDevices(accountData.uid))
           .then((devices) => {
-            assert.equal(devices.length, 0, 'The devices length should be zero')
+            assert.lengthOf(devices, 0)
           })
       })
 
@@ -1411,17 +1411,17 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
       it('should get security event', () => {
         return db.securityEvents({id: uid1, ipAddr: addr1})
           .then((results) => {
-            assert.equal(results.length, 3, 'three events for uid and addr')
+            assert.lengthOf(results, 3)
             // The most recent event is returned first.
             assert.equal(results[0].name, evC, 'correct event name')
             assert.equal(!! results[0].verified, true, 'event without a session is already verified')
-            assert(results[0].createdAt < Date.now(), 'createdAt is set')
+            assert.isBelow(results[0].createdAt, Date.now())
             assert.equal(results[1].name, evB, 'correct event name')
             assert.equal(!! results[1].verified, false, 'second session is not verified yet')
-            assert(results[1].createdAt < results[0].createdAt, 'createdAt is lower than previous event')
+            assert.isBelow(results[1].createdAt, results[0].createdAt)
             assert.equal(results[2].name, evA, 'correct event name')
             assert.equal(!! results[2].verified, true, 'first session is already verified')
-            assert(results[2].createdAt < results[1].createdAt, 'createdAt is lower than previous event')
+            assert.isBelow(results[2].createdAt, results[1].createdAt)
           })
       })
 
@@ -1429,19 +1429,19 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
         return db.verifyTokens(session1.tokenVerificationId, {uid: uid1})
           .then(() => db.securityEvents({id: uid1, ipAddr: addr1}))
           .then((results) => {
-            assert.equal(results.length, 3, 'three events for uid and addr')
-            assert.equal(!! results[0].verified, true, 'first session verified')
-            assert.equal(!! results[1].verified, true, 'second session verified')
-            assert.equal(!! results[2].verified, true, 'third session verified')
+            assert.lengthOf(results, 3)
+            assert.isTrue(!! results[0].verified)
+            assert.isTrue(!! results[1].verified)
+            assert.isTrue(!! results[2].verified)
           })
       })
 
       it('should get second address', () => {
         return db.securityEvents({id: uid1, ipAddr: addr2})
           .then((results) => {
-            assert.equal(results.length, 1, 'one event for addr2')
+            assert.lengthOf(results, 1)
             assert.equal(results[0].name, evA)
-            assert.equal(!! results[0].verified, false, 'session3 not verified yet')
+            assert.isFalse(!! results[0].verified)
           })
       })
 
@@ -1449,27 +1449,27 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
         return db.deleteSessionToken(session3.tokenId)
           .then(() => db.securityEvents({id: uid1, ipAddr: addr2}))
           .then((results) => {
-            assert.equal(results.length, 1, 'one event for addr2')
+            assert.lengthOf(results, 1)
             assert.equal(results[0].name, evA)
-            assert.equal(!! results[0].verified, false, 'session3 not verified yet')
+            assert.isFalse(!! results[0].verified)
           })
       })
 
       it('should get with IPv6', () => {
         return db.securityEvents({id: uid1, ipAddr: '::' + addr1})
-          .then((results) => assert.equal(results.length, 3, 'three events for ipv6 addr'))
+          .then((results) => assert.lengthOf(results, 3))
       })
 
       it('should fail with unknown uid', () => {
         return db.securityEvents({id: newUuid(), ipAddr: addr1})
-          .then((results) => assert.equal(results.length, 0, 'no events for unknown uid'))
+          .then((results) => assert.lengthOf(results, 0))
       })
 
       it('should delete events when account is deleted', () => {
         return db.deleteAccount(accountData.uid)
           .then(() => db.securityEvents({id: uid1, ipAddr: addr1}))
           .then((res) => {
-            assert.equal(res.length, 0, 'no events returned')
+            assert.lengthOf(res, 0)
           })
       })
     })
@@ -1535,7 +1535,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             assert.equal(result[0].uid.toString('hex'), accountData.uid.toString('hex'), 'correct uid')
             return db.fetchReminders({}, fetchQuery)
           })
-          .then((result) => assert.equal(result.length, 0, 'no more reminders'))
+          .then((result) => assert.lengthOf(result, 0))
       })
 
       it('multiple accounts', () => {
@@ -1553,12 +1553,12 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
           .then(() => P.delay(20))
           .then(() => db.fetchReminders({}, fetchQuery))
           .then((result) => {
-            assert.equal(result.length, 2, 'correct size of result')
+            assert.lengthOf(result, 2)
             assert.equal(result[0].type, 'first', 'correct type')
             assert.equal(result[1].type, 'first', 'correct type')
             return db.fetchReminders({}, fetchQuery)
           })
-          .then((result) => assert.equal(result.length, 0, 'no more first reminders'))
+          .then((result) => assert.lengthOf(result, 0))
       })
 
       it('multi fetch', () => {
@@ -1636,14 +1636,14 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
       it('should consume unblock code', () => {
         return db.consumeUnblockCode(uid1, code1)
           .then((code) => {
-            assert(code.createdAt <= Date.now(), 'returns unblock code timestamp')
+            assert.isAtMost(code.createdAt, Date.now())
           })
       })
 
       it('should fail to consume code twice', () => {
         return db.consumeUnblockCode(uid1, code1)
           .then((code) => {
-            assert(code.createdAt <= Date.now(), 'returns unblock code timestamp')
+            assert.isAtMost(code.createdAt, Date.now())
             return db.consumeUnblockCode(uid1, code1)
               .then(assert.fail, (err) => {
                 assert.equal(err.code, 404, 'err.code')
@@ -1660,7 +1660,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             return db.consumeUnblockCode(uid1, code1)
           })
           .then((code) => {
-            assert(code.createdAt <= Date.now(), 'returns unblock code timestamp')
+            assert.isAtMost(code.createdAt, Date.now())
             return db.consumeUnblockCode(uid1, code2)
           }, assert.fail)
           .then(assert.fail, (err) => {
@@ -1686,7 +1686,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
           }))
           .then(() => db.fetchEmailBounces(email))
           .then(bounces => {
-            assert.equal(bounces.length, 2)
+            assert.lengthOf(bounces, 2)
             assert.equal(bounces[0].email, email)
             assert.equal(bounces[0].bounceType, 2)
             assert.equal(bounces[0].bounceSubType, 2)
@@ -1720,11 +1720,11 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
         return db.createAccount(anotherAccountData.uid, anotherAccountData)
           .then(() => db.accountEmails(anotherAccountData.uid))
           .then((result) => {
-            assert.equal(result.length, 1, 'one email returned')
+            assert.lengthOf(result, 1)
 
             // Check first email is email from accounts table
             assert.equal(result[0].email, anotherAccountData.email, 'matches account email')
-            assert.equal(!! result[0].isPrimary, true, 'isPrimary is true on account email')
+            assert.isTrue(!! result[0].isPrimary)
             assert.equal(!! result[0].isVerified, anotherAccountData.emailVerified, 'matches account emailVerified')
           })
       })
@@ -1732,16 +1732,16 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
       it('should return secondary emails', () => {
         return db.accountEmails(accountData.uid)
           .then((result) => {
-            assert.equal(result.length, 2, 'two emails returned')
+            assert.lengthOf(result, 2)
 
             // Check first email is email from accounts table
             assert.equal(result[0].email, accountData.email, 'matches account email')
-            assert.equal(!! result[0].isPrimary, true, 'isPrimary is true on account email')
+            assert.isTrue(!! result[0].isPrimary)
             assert.equal(!! result[0].isVerified, accountData.emailVerified, 'matches account emailVerified')
 
             // Check second email is from emails table
             assert.equal(result[1].email, secondEmail.email, 'matches secondEmail email')
-            assert.equal(!! result[1].isPrimary, false, 'isPrimary is false on secondEmail email')
+            assert.isFalse(!! result[1].isPrimary)
             assert.equal(!! result[1].isVerified, secondEmail.isVerified, 'matches secondEmail isVerified')
           })
       })
@@ -1750,7 +1750,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
         return db.getSecondaryEmail(secondEmail.email)
           .then((result) => {
             assert.equal(result.email, secondEmail.email, 'matches secondEmail email')
-            assert.equal(!! result.isPrimary, false, 'isPrimary is false on secondEmail email')
+            assert.isFalse(!! result.isPrimary)
             assert.equal(!! result.isVerified, secondEmail.isVerified, 'matches secondEmail isVerified')
           })
       })
@@ -1762,16 +1762,16 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             return db.accountEmails(accountData.uid)
           })
           .then((result) => {
-            assert.equal(result.length, 2, 'two email returned')
+            assert.lengthOf(result, 2)
 
             // Check second email is from emails table and verified
             assert.equal(result[1].email, secondEmail.email, 'matches secondEmail email')
-            assert.equal(!! result[1].isPrimary, false, 'isPrimary is false on secondEmail email')
-            assert.equal(!! result[1].isVerified, true, 'secondEmail isVerified is true')
+            assert.isFalse(!! result[1].isPrimary)
+            assert.isTrue(!! result[1].isVerified)
 
             return db.account(accountData.uid)
               .then((account) => {
-                assert.equal(account.profileChangedAt > account.createdAt, true, 'profileChangedAt updated')
+                assert.isAbove(account.profileChangedAt, account.createdAt)
               })
           })
       })
@@ -1786,16 +1786,16 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
           })
           .then((result) => {
             // Verify that the email has been removed
-            assert.equal(result.length, 1, 'one email returned')
+            assert.lengthOf(result, 1)
 
             // Only email returned should be from users account
             assert.equal(result[0].email, accountData.email, 'matches account email')
-            assert.equal(!! result[0].isPrimary, true, 'isPrimary is true on account email')
+            assert.isTrue(!! result[0].isPrimary)
             assert.equal(!! result[0].isVerified, accountData.emailVerified, 'matches account emailVerified')
 
             return db.account(accountData.uid)
               .then((account) => {
-                assert.equal(account.profileChangedAt > account.createdAt, true, 'profileChangedAt updated')
+                assert.isAbove(account.profileChangedAt, account.createdAt)
               })
           })
       })
@@ -1941,7 +1941,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
         .spread(function (emails, account) {
           assert.equal(emails[0].email, account.email, 'correct email returned')
           assert.equal(!! emails[0].isVerified, !! account.emailVerified, 'correct email verification')
-          assert.equal(!! emails[0].isPrimary, true, 'correct email primary')
+          assert.isTrue(!! emails[0].isPrimary)
 
           // Verify account email
           return db.verifyEmail(account.uid, account.emailCode)
@@ -1953,7 +1953,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
         .spread(function (emails, account) {
           assert.equal(emails[0].email, account.email, 'correct email returned')
           assert.equal(!! emails[0].isVerified, !! account.emailVerified, 'correct email verification')
-          assert.equal(!! emails[0].isPrimary, true, 'correct email primary')
+          assert.isTrue(!! emails[0].isPrimary)
         })
     })
 
@@ -2033,16 +2033,16 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             return db.accountEmails(account.uid)
           })
           .then(function (res) {
-            assert.deepEqual(res.length, 2, 'Returns correct amount of emails')
+            assert.lengthOf(res, 2)
             assert.equal(res[0].email, account.email, 'primary email is the address that was used to create account')
             assert.deepEqual(res[0].emailCode, account.emailCode, 'correct emailCode')
-            assert.equal(!! res[0].isVerified, true, 'correct verification set')
-            assert.equal(!! res[0].isPrimary, true, 'isPrimary is true')
+            assert.isTrue(!! res[0].isVerified)
+            assert.isTrue(!! res[0].isPrimary)
 
             assert.equal(res[1].email, secondEmail.email, 'primary email is the address that was used to create account')
             assert.deepEqual(res[1].emailCode, secondEmail.emailCode, 'correct emailCode')
-            assert.equal(!! res[1].isVerified, true, 'correct verification set')
-            assert.equal(!! res[1].isPrimary, false, 'isPrimary is false')
+            assert.isTrue(!! res[1].isVerified)
+            assert.isFalse(!! res[1].isPrimary)
           })
       })
 
@@ -2054,17 +2054,17 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             return db.accountEmails(account.uid)
           })
           .then(function (res) {
-            assert.deepEqual(res.length, 2, 'Returns correct amount of emails')
+            assert.lengthOf(res, 2)
 
             assert.equal(res[0].email, secondEmail.email, 'primary email is the secondary email address')
             assert.deepEqual(res[0].emailCode, secondEmail.emailCode, 'correct emailCode')
             assert.equal(!! res[0].isVerified, secondEmail.isVerified, 'correct verification set')
-            assert.equal(!! res[0].isPrimary, true, 'isPrimary is true')
+            assert.isTrue(!! res[0].isPrimary)
 
             assert.equal(res[1].email, account.email, 'should equal account email')
             assert.deepEqual(res[1].emailCode, account.emailCode, 'correct emailCode')
             assert.equal(!! res[1].isVerified, account.emailVerified, 'correct verification set')
-            assert.equal(!! res[1].isPrimary, false, 'isPrimary is false')
+            assert.isFalse(!! res[1].isPrimary)
 
             // Verify correct email set in session
             sessionTokenData = makeMockSessionToken(account.uid)
@@ -2084,7 +2084,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             assert.deepEqual(res[0].primaryEmail, secondEmail.email, 'primary email should be set to update email')
             assert.ok(res[0].createdAt, 'should set createdAt')
             assert.deepEqual(res[0].createdAt, res[1].createdAt, 'account records should have the same createdAt')
-            assert.equal(res[0].profileChangedAt >= res[0].createdAt, true, 'profileChangedAt updated')
+            assert.isAtLeast(res[0].profileChangedAt, res[0].createdAt)
           })
       })
 
@@ -2137,10 +2137,10 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
           })
           .then((session) => {
             // Returns verified session
-            assert.equal(!! session.mustVerify, false, 'mustVerify is false')
-            assert.equal(session.tokenVerificationId, null, 'tokenVerificationId is not set')
-            assert.equal(session.tokenVerificationCodeHash, null, 'tokenVerificationCodeHash is not set')
-            assert.equal(session.tokenVerificationCodeExpiresAt, null, 'tokenVerificationCodeExpiresAt is not set')
+            assert.isFalse(!! session.mustVerify)
+            assert.isNull(session.tokenVerificationId)
+            assert.notOk(session.tokenVerificationCodeHash)
+            assert.notOk(session.tokenVerificationCodeExpiresAt)
           })
       })
 
@@ -2211,8 +2211,8 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
           .then((token) => {
             assert.equal(token.sharedSecret, sharedSecret, 'correct sharedSecret')
             assert.equal(token.epoch, epoch, 'correct epoch')
-            assert.equal(token.verified, false, 'correct verified')
-            assert.equal(token.enabled, true, 'correct enabled')
+            assert.isFalse(!! token.verified)
+            assert.isTrue(!! token.enabled)
           })
       })
 
@@ -2241,7 +2241,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
                 return db.account(accountData.uid)
               })
               .then((account) => {
-                assert.equal(account.profileChangedAt > account.createdAt, true, 'profileChangedAt updated')
+                assert.isAbove(account.profileChangedAt, account.createdAt)
               })
           })
       })
@@ -2254,13 +2254,13 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
               .then((token) => {
                 assert.equal(token.sharedSecret, sharedSecret, 'correct sharedSecret')
                 assert.equal(token.epoch, epoch, 'correct epoch')
-                assert.equal(token.verified, true, 'correct verified')
-                assert.equal(token.enabled, true, 'correct enable')
+                assert.isTrue(!! token.verified)
+                assert.isTrue(!! token.enabled)
 
                 return db.account(accountData.uid)
               })
               .then((account) => {
-                assert.equal(account.profileChangedAt > account.createdAt, true, 'profileChangedAt updated')
+                assert.isAbove(account.profileChangedAt, account.createdAt)
               })
           })
       })
@@ -2294,7 +2294,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
           .then((session) => {
             // Returns unverified session
             assert.equal(session.tokenVerificationId.toString('hex'), sessionToken.tokenVerificationId.toString('hex'), 'tokenVerificationId must match sessionToken')
-            assert.equal(session.verificationMethod, undefined, 'verificationMethod not set')
+            assert.isNull(session.verificationMethod)
           })
       })
 
@@ -2317,17 +2317,17 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             return db.sessionToken(tokenId)
           }, assert.fail)
           .then((token) => {
-            assert.equal(token.mustVerify, false, 'mustVerify is false')
-            assert.equal(token.tokenVerificationId, null, 'tokenVerificationId is null')
-            assert.equal(token.verificationMethod, null, 'verificationMethod is null')
+            assert.isFalse(!! token.mustVerify)
+            assert.isNull(token.tokenVerificationId)
+            assert.isNull(token.verificationMethod)
             return db.verifyTokensWithMethod(tokenId, verifyOptions)
           })
           .then(() => {
             return db.sessionToken(tokenId)
           }, assert.fail)
           .then((token) => {
-            assert.equal(token.mustVerify, false, 'mustVerify is false')
-            assert.equal(token.tokenVerificationId, null, 'tokenVerificationId is null')
+            assert.isFalse(!! token.mustVerify)
+            assert.isNull(token.tokenVerificationId)
             assert.equal(token.verificationMethod, 2, 'verificationMethod is set')
           })
       })
@@ -2354,7 +2354,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
             return db.sessionToken(tokenId)
           })
           .then((session) => {
-            assert.equal(session.tokenVerificationId, undefined, 'tokenVerificationId must be undefined')
+            assert.isNull(session.tokenVerificationId)
             assert.equal(session.verificationMethod, 2, 'verificationMethod set')
             assert.ok(session.verifiedAt, 'verifiedAt set')
           })
@@ -2382,11 +2382,10 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
         it('should generate ' + num + ' recovery codes', () => {
           return db.replaceRecoveryCodes(account.uid, num)
             .then((codes) => {
-              assert.equal(codes.length, num, 'correct number of codes')
+              assert.lengthOf(codes, num)
               codes.forEach((code) => {
-                assert.equal(codeTest.test(code), true, 'matches recovery code format')
+                assert.match(code, codeTest)
               })
-              assert.equal()
             }, (err) => {
               assert.equal(err.errno, 116, 'correct errno, not found')
             })
@@ -2398,12 +2397,12 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
         return db.replaceRecoveryCodes(account.uid, 2)
           .then((codes) => {
             firstCodes = codes
-            assert.equal(firstCodes.length, 2, 'correct number of codes')
+            assert.lengthOf(firstCodes, 2)
 
             return db.replaceRecoveryCodes(account.uid, 3)
           })
           .then((codes) => {
-            assert.equal(codes.length, 3, 'correct number of codes')
+            assert.lengthOf(codes, 3)
             assert.notDeepEqual(codes, firstCodes, 'codes are different')
           })
       })
@@ -2431,7 +2430,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
           return db.replaceRecoveryCodes(account.uid, 2)
             .then((codes) => {
               recoveryCodes = codes
-              assert.equal(recoveryCodes.length, 2, 'correct number of recovery codes')
+              assert.lengthOf(recoveryCodes, 2)
             })
         })
 
@@ -2562,7 +2561,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
       it('should return true if recovery key exists', () => {
         return db.recoveryKeyExists(account.uid)
           .then((res) => {
-            assert.equal(res.exists, true, 'key exists')
+            assert.isTrue(res.exists)
           })
       })
 
@@ -2572,7 +2571,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
           .then(() => {
             return db.recoveryKeyExists(account.uid)
               .then((res) => {
-                assert.equal(res.exists, false, 'key doesn\'t exist')
+                assert.isFalse(res.exists)
               })
           })
       })
@@ -2580,7 +2579,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
       it('should throw when checking for recovery key on non-existent user', () => {
         return db.recoveryKeyExists('nonexistent')
           .then((res) => {
-            assert.equal(res.exists, false, 'key doesn\'t exist')
+            assert.isFalse(res.exists)
           })
       })
 
@@ -2652,7 +2651,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
 
         const result = await db.fetchAccountSubscriptions(account.uid)
 
-        assert.equal(result.length, 3)
+        assert.lengthOf(result, 3)
         assert.deepEqual(
           pickSet(result, 'subscriptionId'),
           new Set([ subscriptionIds[3], subscriptionIds[4], subscriptionIds[5] ])
@@ -2671,7 +2670,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
 
         const result = await db.fetchAccountSubscriptions(account.uid)
 
-        assert.equal(result.length, 2)
+        assert.lengthOf(result, 2)
         assert.deepEqual(
           pickSet(result, 'subscriptionId'),
           new Set([ subscriptionIds[6], subscriptionIds[8] ])
@@ -2691,7 +2690,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
 
         const result = await db.fetchAccountSubscriptions(account.uid)
 
-        assert.equal(result.length, 3)
+        assert.lengthOf(result, 3)
         assert.deepEqual(
           pickSet(result, 'subscriptionId'),
           new Set([ subscriptionIds[12], subscriptionIds[13], subscriptionIds[14] ])
@@ -2712,7 +2711,7 @@ module.exports = function (config, DB) {
 
         const result = await db.fetchAccountSubscriptions(account.uid)
 
-        assert.equal(result.length, 2)
+        assert.lengthOf(result, 2)
         assert.deepEqual(
           pickSet(result, 'subscriptionId'),
           new Set([ subscriptionIds[15], subscriptionIds[17] ])
diff --git a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/backend/remote.js b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/backend/remote.js
index 1152bcc6e9c..f226a34f0f3 100644
--- a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/backend/remote.js
+++ b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/backend/remote.js
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
 
 'use strict'
 
-const assert = require('insist')
+const { assert } = require('chai')
 const crypto = require('crypto')
 const fake = require('../fake')
 const P = require('../../../lib/promise')
@@ -79,10 +79,8 @@ function testVersionResponse(client, route) {
   return client.getThen(route)
     .then(function (r) {
       assert.equal(r.res.statusCode, 200, 'version returns 200 OK')
-      assert(r.obj.version.match(/\d+\.\d+\.\d+/),
-           'Version has a semver version property')
-      assert(['Memory', 'MySql'].indexOf(r.obj.implementation) !== -1,
-           'Version has a known implementation  property')
+      assert.match(r.obj.version, /\d+\.\d+\.\d+/)
+      assert.include(['Memory', 'MySql'], r.obj.implementation)
     })
 }
 
@@ -148,7 +146,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
             respOk(r)
 
             var result = r.obj
-            assert.equal(result.length, 2, 'two emails returned')
+            assert.lengthOf(result, 2)
 
             // Verify first email is email from accounts table
             assert.equal(result[0].email, user.account.email, 'matches account email')
@@ -171,7 +169,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
             respOk(r)
 
             var result = r.obj
-            assert.equal(result.length, 2, 'two emails returned')
+            assert.lengthOf(result, 2)
             assert.equal(result[1].email, secondEmailRecord.email, 'matches secondEmail email')
             assert.equal(!! result[1].isPrimary, false, 'isPrimary is false on secondEmail email')
             assert.equal(!! result[1].isVerified, true, 'matches secondEmail isVerified')
@@ -187,7 +185,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
             respOk(r)
 
             var result = r.obj
-            assert.equal(result.length, 3, 'three emails returned')
+            assert.lengthOf(result, 3)
             assert.equal(result[2].email, thirdEmailRecord.email, 'matches thirdEmailRecord email')
             assert.equal(!! result[2].isPrimary, false, 'isPrimary is false on thirdEmailRecord email')
             assert.equal(!! result[2].isVerified, false, 'matches secondEmail thirdEmailRecord')
@@ -202,7 +200,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
             respOk(r)
 
             var result = r.obj
-            assert.equal(result.length, 2, 'two emails returned')
+            assert.lengthOf(result, 2)
             assert.equal(result[0].email, user.account.email, 'matches account email')
             assert.equal(!! result[0].isPrimary, true, 'isPrimary is true on account email')
             assert.equal(!! result[0].isVerified, !! user.account.emailVerified, 'matches account emailVerified')
@@ -300,8 +298,8 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
         return client.getThen('/account/' + user.accountId + '/sessions')
           .then(function(r) {
             respOk(r)
-            assert(Array.isArray(r.obj), 'sessions is array')
-            assert.equal(r.obj.length, 0, 'sessions is empty')
+            assert.isArray(r.obj)
+            assert.lengthOf(r.obj, 0)
 
             // Create accounts
             return P.all([
@@ -314,7 +312,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
             return client.getThen('/account/' + user.accountId + '/sessions')
           })
           .then(function(r) {
-            assert.equal(r.obj.length, 0, 'sessions is empty')
+            assert.lengthOf(r.obj, 0)
 
             // Attempt to fetch a non-existent session token
             return client.getThen('/sessionToken/' + user.sessionTokenId)
@@ -337,7 +335,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
           .then(function(r) {
             respOk(r)
             var sessions = r.obj
-            assert.equal(sessions.length, 1, 'sessions contains one item')
+            assert.lengthOf(sessions, 1)
             assert.equal(Object.keys(sessions[0]).length, 20, 'session has correct properties')
             assert.equal(sessions[0].tokenId, user.sessionTokenId, 'tokenId is correct')
             assert.equal(sessions[0].uid, user.accountId, 'uid is correct')
@@ -372,7 +370,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
             assert.equal(token.email, user.account.email, 'token.email same as account email')
             assert.deepEqual(token.emailCode, user.account.emailCode, 'token emailCode same as account emailCode')
             assert(token.verifierSetAt, 'verifierSetAt is set to a truthy value')
-            assert(token.accountCreatedAt > 0, 'accountCreatedAt is positive number')
+            assert.isAbove(token.accountCreatedAt, 0)
             assert.equal(token.mustVerify, user.sessionToken.mustVerify, 'mustVerify is correct')
             assert.equal(token.tokenVerificationId, user.sessionToken.tokenVerificationId, 'tokenVerificationId is correct')
 
@@ -403,9 +401,9 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
             assert.equal(token.email, verifiedUser.account.email, 'token.email same as account email')
             assert.deepEqual(token.emailCode, verifiedUser.account.emailCode, 'token emailCode same as account emailCode')
             assert(token.verifierSetAt, 'verifierSetAt is set to a truthy value')
-            assert(token.accountCreatedAt > 0, 'accountCreatedAt is positive number')
-            assert.equal(token.mustVerify, true, 'mustVerify is true')
-            assert.equal(token.tokenVerificationId, null, 'tokenVerificationId is null')
+            assert.isAbove(token.accountCreatedAt, 0)
+            assert.isTrue(!! token.mustVerify)
+            assert.isNull(token.tokenVerificationId)
 
             // Attempt to verify a non-existent session token
             return client.postThen('/tokens/' + crypto.randomBytes(16).toString('hex') + '/verify', {
@@ -440,7 +438,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
           })
           .then(function(r) {
             assert.equal(!! r.obj.mustVerify, true, 'mustVerify is true')
-            assert.equal(r.obj.tokenVerificationId, null, 'tokenVerificationId is null')
+            assert.isNull(r.obj.tokenVerificationId)
 
             // Attempt to verify the session token again
             return client.postThen('/tokens/' + user.sessionToken.tokenVerificationId + '/verify', {
@@ -473,7 +471,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
           .then(function(r) {
             respOk(r)
             var sessions = r.obj
-            assert.equal(sessions.length, 1, 'sessions still contains one item')
+            assert.lengthOf(sessions, 1)
             assert.equal(sessions[0].tokenId, user.sessionTokenId, 'tokenId is correct')
             assert.equal(sessions[0].uid, user.accountId, 'uid is correct')
             assert.equal(sessions[0].createdAt, user.sessionToken.createdAt, 'createdAt is correct')
@@ -513,7 +511,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
           })
           .then(function(r) {
             respOk(r)
-            assert.equal(r.obj.length, 1, 'account has one device')
+            assert.lengthOf(r.obj, 1)
 
             // Fetch the session again to make sure device info is included
             return client.getThen('/account/' + user.accountId + '/sessions')
@@ -521,7 +519,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
           .then(function(r) {
             respOk(r)
             var sessions = r.obj
-            assert.equal(sessions.length, 1, 'sessions still contains one item')
+            assert.lengthOf(sessions, 1)
             var s = sessions[0]
             assert(s.createdAt)
             assert.equal(s.deviceCallbackAuthKey.length, 22)
@@ -548,7 +546,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
             ])
           })
           .then(function(results) {
-            assert.equal(results.length, 2)
+            assert.lengthOf(results, 2)
             results.forEach(function (result) {
               respOk(result)
             })
@@ -558,14 +556,14 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
           })
           .then(function(r) {
             respOk(r)
-            assert.equal(r.obj.length, 0, 'account has no devices')
+            assert.lengthOf(r.obj, 0)
 
             // Fetch all of the session tokens for the account
             return client.getThen('/account/' + user.accountId + '/sessions')
           })
           .then(function(r) {
             respOk(r)
-            assert.equal(r.obj.length, 0, 'sessions is empty')
+            assert.lengthOf(r.obj, 0)
 
             // Attempt to fetch a deleted session token
             return client.getThen('/sessionToken/' + user.sessionTokenId)
@@ -585,8 +583,8 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
         return client.getThen('/account/' + user.accountId + '/devices')
           .then(function(r) {
             respOk(r)
-            assert(Array.isArray(r.obj), 'devices is array')
-            assert.equal(r.obj.length, 0, 'devices is empty')
+            assert.isArray(r.obj)
+            assert.lengthOf(r.obj, 0)
             return client.putThen('/account/' + user.accountId, user.account)
           })
           .then(function() {
@@ -596,7 +594,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
             return client.getThen('/account/' + user.accountId + '/devices')
           })
           .then(function(r) {
-            assert.equal(r.obj.length, 0, 'devices is empty')
+            assert.lengthOf(r.obj, 0)
             return client.putThen('/account/' + user.accountId + '/device/' + user.deviceId, user.device)
           })
           .then(function(r) {
@@ -605,8 +603,8 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
           .then(function(r) {
             respOk(r)
             var devices = r.obj
-            assert.equal(devices.length, 1, 'devices contains one item')
-            assert.equal(Object.keys(devices[0]).length, 19, 'device has nineteen properties')
+            assert.lengthOf(devices, 1)
+            assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(devices[0]), 19)
             assert.equal(devices[0].uid, user.accountId, 'uid is correct')
             assert.equal(devices[0].id, user.deviceId, 'id is correct')
             assert.equal(devices[0].sessionTokenId, user.sessionTokenId, 'sessionTokenId is correct')
@@ -676,7 +674,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
           .then(function(r) {
             respOk(r)
             var devices = r.obj
-            assert.equal(devices.length, 1, 'devices still contains one item')
+            assert.lengthOf(devices, 1)
             assert.equal(devices[0].uid, user.accountId, 'uid is correct')
             assert.equal(devices[0].id, user.deviceId, 'id is correct')
             assert.equal(devices[0].sessionTokenId, user.sessionTokenId, 'sessionTokenId is correct')
@@ -707,7 +705,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
           .then(function(r) {
             respOk(r)
             var devices = r.obj
-            assert.equal(devices.length, 0, 'devices is empty')
+            assert.lengthOf(devices, 0)
 
             return client.postThen('/account/' + user.accountId + '/device/' + user.deviceId + '/update', {
               sessionTokenId: user.sessionTokenId
@@ -720,7 +718,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
           .then(function(r) {
             respOk(r)
             var devices = r.obj
-            assert.equal(devices.length, 1, 'devices contains one item again')
+            assert.lengthOf(devices, 1)
 
             return client.postThen('/account/' + user.accountId + '/device/' + user.deviceId + '/update', {
               name: '4a6f686e'
@@ -733,7 +731,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
           .then(function(r) {
             respOk(r)
             var devices = r.obj
-            assert.equal(devices.length, 1, 'devices contains one item again')
+            assert.lengthOf(devices, 1)
             assert.equal(devices[0].name, '4a6f686e', 'name was not automagically bufferized')
 
             return client.putThen('/account/' + user.accountId + '/device/' + user.oauthDeviceId, user.oauthDevice)
@@ -744,7 +742,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
           .then(function (r) {
             respOk(r)
             var devices = r.obj
-            assert.equal(devices.length, 2, 'devices now contains two items')
+            assert.lengthOf(devices, 2)
             const sessionDevice = devices.find(d => d.sessionTokenId)
             const oauthDevice = devices.find(d => d.refreshTokenId)
 
@@ -752,7 +750,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
             assert.equal(sessionDevice.sessionTokenId, user.sessionTokenId, 'sessionTokenId is correct')
             assert.equal(sessionDevice.refreshTokenId, null, 'refreshTokenId is correct')
 
-            assert.equal(Object.keys(oauthDevice).length, 19, 'device has nineteen properties')
+            assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(oauthDevice), 19)
             assert.equal(oauthDevice.uid, user.accountId, 'uid is correct')
             assert.equal(oauthDevice.id, user.oauthDeviceId, 'id is correct')
             assert.equal(oauthDevice.sessionTokenId, null, 'sessionTokenId is correct')
@@ -765,13 +763,13 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
             assert.equal(oauthDevice.callbackAuthKey, user.oauthDevice.callbackAuthKey, 'callbackAuthKey is correct')
             assert.equal(oauthDevice.callbackIsExpired, user.oauthDevice.callbackIsExpired, 'callbackIsExpired is correct')
             assert.deepEqual(oauthDevice.availableCommands, {}, 'availableCommands is correct')
-            assert.equal(oauthDevice.uaBrowser, null, 'uaBrowser is correct')
-            assert.equal(oauthDevice.uaBrowserVersion, null, 'uaBrowserVersion is correct')
-            assert.equal(oauthDevice.uaOS, null, 'uaOS is correct')
-            assert.equal(oauthDevice.uaOSVersion, null, 'uaOSVersion is correct')
-            assert.equal(oauthDevice.uaDeviceType, null, 'uaDeviceType is correct')
-            assert.equal(oauthDevice.uaFormFactor, null, 'uaFormFactor is correct')
-            assert.equal(oauthDevice.lastAccessTime, null, 'lastAccessTime is correct')
+            assert.isNull(oauthDevice.uaBrowser)
+            assert.isNull(oauthDevice.uaBrowserVersion)
+            assert.isNull(oauthDevice.uaOS)
+            assert.isNull(oauthDevice.uaOSVersion)
+            assert.isNull(oauthDevice.uaDeviceType)
+            assert.isNull(oauthDevice.uaFormFactor)
+            assert.isNull(oauthDevice.lastAccessTime)
 
             return client.postThen('/account/' + user.accountId + '/device/' + oauthDevice.id + '/update', {
               name: 'a new device name'
@@ -783,14 +781,14 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
           .then(function (r) {
             respOk(r)
             var devices = r.obj
-            assert.equal(devices.length, 2, 'devices still contains two items')
+            assert.lengthOf(devices, 2)
             const sessionDevice = devices.find(d => d.sessionTokenId)
             const oauthDevice = devices.find(d => d.refreshTokenId)
 
             assert.equal(sessionDevice.sessionTokenId, user.sessionTokenId, 'sessionTokenId is correct')
-            assert.equal(sessionDevice.refreshTokenId, null, 'refreshTokenId is correct')
+            assert.isNull(sessionDevice.refreshTokenId)
 
-            assert.equal(oauthDevice.sessionTokenId, null, 'sessionTokenId is correct')
+            assert.isNull(oauthDevice.sessionTokenId)
             assert.equal(oauthDevice.refreshTokenId, oauthDevice.refreshTokenId, 'refreshTokenId is correct')
             assert.equal(oauthDevice.name, 'a new device name', 'name is correct')
 
@@ -809,7 +807,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
           })
           .then(function(r) {
             respOk(r)
-            assert.equal(r.obj.length, 0, 'devices is empty')
+            assert.lengthOf(r.obj, 0)
 
             return client.getThen('/account/' + user.accountId + '/device' + user.deviceId)
               .then(function () {
@@ -876,7 +874,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
             assert(token.createdAt, 'Got a createdAt')
             assert.equal(!! token.emailVerified, user.account.emailVerified)
             assert(token.verifierSetAt, 'verifierSetAt is set to a truthy value')
-            assert.equal(token.tokenVerificationId, undefined, 'tokenVerificationId is undefined')
+            assert.isUndefined(token.tokenVerificationId)
 
             // Fetch the key fetch token with its verification state
             return client.getThen('/keyFetchToken/' + user.keyFetchTokenId + '/verified')
@@ -930,19 +928,19 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
             return client.getThen('/keyFetchToken/' + user.keyFetchTokenId)
           })
           .then(function (r) {
-            assert.equal(r.obj.tokenVerificationId, undefined, 'tokenVerificationId is undefined')
+            assert.isUndefined(r.obj.tokenVerificationId)
 
             // Fetch the key fetch token with its verification state
             return client.getThen('/keyFetchToken/' + user.keyFetchTokenId + '/verified')
           })
           .then(function (r) {
-            assert.equal(r.obj.tokenVerificationId, null, 'tokenVerificationId is null')
+            assert.isNull(r.obj.tokenVerificationId)
 
             // Fetch the session token with its verification state
             return client.getThen('/sessionToken/' + user.sessionTokenId)
           })
           .then(function (r) {
-            assert.equal(r.obj.tokenVerificationId, null, 'tokenVerificationId is null')
+            assert.isNull(r.obj.tokenVerificationId)
 
             // Attempt to verify the key fetch token again
             return client.postThen('/tokens/' + user.keyFetchToken.tokenVerificationId + '/verify', {
@@ -963,13 +961,13 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
             return client.getThen('/keyFetchToken/' + verifiedUser.keyFetchTokenId)
           })
           .then(function (r) {
-            assert.equal(r.obj.tokenVerificationId, undefined, 'tokenVerificationId is undefined')
+            assert.isUndefined(r.obj.tokenVerificationId)
 
             // Fetch the verified key fetch token with its verification state
             return client.getThen('/keyFetchToken/' + verifiedUser.keyFetchTokenId + '/verified')
           })
           .then(function (r) {
-            assert.equal(r.obj.tokenVerificationId, null, 'tokenVerificationId is null')
+            assert.isNull(r.obj.tokenVerificationId)
             // Delete both key fetch tokens
             return P.all([
               client.delThen('/keyFetchToken/' + user.keyFetchTokenId),
@@ -977,7 +975,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
             ])
           })
           .then(function (results) {
-            assert.equal(results.length, 2)
+            assert.lengthOf(results, 2)
             results.forEach(function (result) {
               respOk(result)
             })
@@ -1263,7 +1261,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
           .then(
             function (r) {
               respOk(r)
-              assert(r.obj.createdAt <= Date.now(), 'returns { createdAt: Number }')
+              assert.isAtMost(r.obj.createdAt, Date.now())
               return client.delThen('/account/' + uid + '/unblock/' + unblockCode)
               .then(
                 function (r) {
@@ -1298,9 +1296,9 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
           .then(
             function (r) {
               respOk(r)
-              assert.equal(r.obj.length, 1)
+              assert.lengthOf(r.obj, 1)
               assert.equal(r.obj[0].email, email)
-              assert(r.obj[0].createdAt <= Date.now(), 'returns { createdAt: Number }')
+              assert.isAtMost(r.obj[0].createdAt, Date.now())
             }
           )
       }
@@ -1640,10 +1638,10 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
               respOk(keyFetchTokenResp)
               const sessionToken = sessionTokenResp.obj
               const keyFetchToken = keyFetchTokenResp.obj
-              assert.equal(sessionToken.tokenVerificationId, null, 'tokenVerificationCodeHash not set')
-              assert.equal(sessionToken.tokenVerificationCodeHash, null, 'tokenVerificationCodeHash not set')
-              assert.equal(sessionToken.tokenVerificationCodeExpiresAt, null, 'tokenVerificationCodeExpiresAt not set')
-              assert.equal(keyFetchToken.tokenVerificationId, null, 'tokenVerificationId not set')
+              assert.isNull(sessionToken.tokenVerificationId)
+              assert.notOk(sessionToken.tokenVerificationCodeHash)
+              assert.notOk(sessionToken.tokenVerificationCodeExpiresAt)
+              assert.isNull(keyFetchToken.tokenVerificationId)
             })
         })
       }
@@ -1766,7 +1764,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
         return client.postThen('/account/' + user.accountId + '/recoveryCodes', {count: 8})
           .then((res) => {
             const codes = res.obj
-            assert.equal(codes.length, 8, 'correct number of codes')
+            assert.lengthOf(codes, 8)
           })
       })
 
@@ -1781,7 +1779,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
         return client.postThen('/account/' + user.accountId + '/recoveryCodes', {count: 8})
           .then((res) => {
             const codes = res.obj
-            assert.equal(codes.length, 8, 'correct number of codes')
+            assert.lengthOf(codes, 8)
             return client.postThen('/account/' + user.accountId + '/recoveryCodes/' + codes[0])
           })
           .then((res) => {
@@ -1832,7 +1830,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
         return client.getThen('/account/' + user.accountId + '/recoveryKey')
           .then((res) => {
             const result = res.obj
-            assert.equal(result.exists, true, 'recovery key exists')
+            assert.isTrue(result.exists)
           })
       })
     })
@@ -1889,7 +1887,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
         const { obj } =
           await client.getThen(`/account/${user.accountId}/subscriptions`)
 
-        assert.equal(obj.length, 3)
+        assert.lengthOf(obj, 3)
         assert.deepEqual(
           pick(obj, 'subscriptionId'),
           [ subs[2], subs[3], subs[4] ]
@@ -1918,7 +1916,7 @@ module.exports = function(cfg, makeServer) {
         const { obj } =
             await client.getThen(`/account/${user.accountId}/subscriptions`)
 
-        assert.equal(obj.length, 2)
+        assert.lengthOf(obj, 2)
         assert.deepEqual(
           pick(obj, 'subscriptionId'),
           [ subs[5], subs[7] ]
diff --git a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/local/bufferize.js b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/local/bufferize.js
index 6c689f1d527..69ffebd4020 100644
--- a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/local/bufferize.js
+++ b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/local/bufferize.js
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
 
 'use strict'
 
-const assert = require('insist')
+const { assert } = require('chai')
 const sinon = require('sinon')
 
 describe('bufferize', () => {
@@ -12,19 +12,19 @@ describe('bufferize', () => {
     () => {
 
       var bufferize = require('../../lib/bufferize')
-      assert.equal(typeof bufferize, 'object', 'bufferize exports object')
-      assert.equal(Object.keys(bufferize).length, 4, 'bufferize exports four functions')
-      assert.equal(typeof bufferize.unbuffer, 'function', 'bufferize exports unbuffer function')
-      assert.equal(typeof bufferize.bufferize, 'function', 'bufferize exports bufferize function')
-      assert.equal(typeof bufferize.bufferizeRequest, 'function', 'bufferize exports bufferizeRequest function')
-      assert.equal(typeof bufferize.hexToUtf8, 'function', 'bufferize exports hexToUtf8 function')
+      assert.isObject(bufferize)
+      assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(bufferize), 4)
+      assert.isFunction(bufferize.unbuffer)
+      assert.isFunction(bufferize.bufferize)
+      assert.isFunction(bufferize.bufferizeRequest)
+      assert.isFunction(bufferize.hexToUtf8)
 
       var result = bufferize.unbuffer({
         foo: Buffer.from('42', 'hex'),
         bar: '42'
       })
-      assert.equal(typeof result, 'object', 'bufferize.unbuffer returned object')
-      assert.equal(Object.keys(result).length, 2, 'bufferize.unbuffer returned correct number of properties')
+      assert.isObject(result)
+      assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(result), 2)
       assert.equal(result.foo, '42', 'bufferize.unbuffer unbuffered correctly')
       assert.equal(result.foo, '42', 'bufferize.unbuffer preserved string')
 
@@ -33,13 +33,13 @@ describe('bufferize', () => {
         bar: 'ffff',
       })
 
-      assert.equal(typeof result, 'object', 'bufferize.bufferize returned object')
-      assert.equal(Object.keys(result).length, 2, 'bufferize.bufferize returned correct number of properties')
+      assert.isObject(result)
+      assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(result), 2)
       assert(Buffer.isBuffer(result.foo), 'bufferize.bufferize returned buffer for 00')
-      assert.equal(result.foo.length, 1, 'bufferize.bufferize returned correct length for 00')
+      assert.lengthOf(result.foo, 1)
       assert.equal(result.foo[0], 0x00, 'bufferize.bufferize returned correct data for 00')
       assert(Buffer.isBuffer(result.bar), 'bufferize.bufferize returned buffer for ffff')
-      assert.equal(result.bar.length, 2, 'bufferize.bufferize returned correct length for ffff')
+      assert.lengthOf(result.bar, 2)
       assert.equal(result.bar[0], 0xff, 'bufferize.bufferize returned correct first byte for ffff')
       assert.equal(result.bar[1], 0xff, 'bufferize.bufferize returned correct second byte for ffff')
 
@@ -49,13 +49,13 @@ describe('bufferize', () => {
         wibble: '00'
       }, new Set(['foo', 'bar']))
 
-      assert.equal(typeof result, 'object', 'bufferize.bufferize returned object')
-      assert.equal(Object.keys(result).length, 3, 'bufferize.bufferize returned correct number of properties')
+      assert.isObject(result)
+      assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(result), 3)
       assert(Buffer.isBuffer(result.foo), 'bufferize.bufferize returned buffer for 00')
-      assert.equal(result.foo.length, 1, 'bufferize.bufferize returned correct length for 00')
+      assert.lengthOf(result.foo, 1)
       assert.equal(result.foo[0], 0x00, 'bufferize.bufferize returned correct data for 00')
       assert(Buffer.isBuffer(result.bar), 'bufferize.bufferize returned buffer for ffff')
-      assert.equal(result.bar.length, 2, 'bufferize.bufferize returned correct length for ffff')
+      assert.lengthOf(result.bar, 2)
       assert.equal(result.bar[0], 0xff, 'bufferize.bufferize returned correct first byte for ffff')
       assert.equal(result.bar[1], 0xff, 'bufferize.bufferize returned correct second byte for ffff')
       assert.equal(result.wibble, '00', 'bufferize.bufferize ignored property not in match list')
@@ -66,13 +66,13 @@ describe('bufferize', () => {
         baz: undefined
       }, new Set(['foo', 'bar', 'baz']))
 
-      assert.equal(typeof result, 'object', 'bufferize.bufferize returned object')
-      assert.equal(Object.keys(result).length, 3, 'bufferize.bufferize returned correct number of properties')
+      assert.isObject(result)
+      assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(result), 3)
       assert(Buffer.isBuffer(result.foo), 'bufferize.bufferize returned buffer for 00')
-      assert.equal(result.foo.length, 1, 'bufferize.bufferize returned correct length for 00')
+      assert.lengthOf(result.foo, 1)
       assert.equal(result.foo[0], 0x00, 'bufferize.bufferize returned correct data for 00')
-      assert.equal(result.bar, null, 'bufferize.bufferize ignored property that was set to null')
-      assert.equal(result.baz, undefined, 'bufferize.bufferize ignored property that was undefined')
+      assert.isNull(result.bar)
+      assert.isUndefined(result.baz)
 
       var request = {
         body: {
@@ -89,26 +89,26 @@ describe('bufferize', () => {
       var keys = new Set(['yes', 'y'])
       bufferize.bufferizeRequest(keys, request, {}, next)
 
-      assert.equal(Object.keys(request).length, 2, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest did not mess with request')
+      assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(request), 2)
 
-      assert.equal(Object.keys(request.body).length, 3, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest did not mess with request.body')
+      assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(request.body), 3)
       assert.equal(request.body.no, 'badf00d', 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest preserved body string badf00d')
       assert.equal(request.body.nope, 'f00d', 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest ignored body property not in matchlist')
       assert(Buffer.isBuffer(request.body.yes), 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest returned buffer for body f00d')
-      assert.equal(request.body.yes.length, 2, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest returned correct length for body f00d')
+      assert.lengthOf(request.body.yes, 2)
       assert.equal(request.body.yes[0], 0xf0, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest returned correct first byte for body f00d')
       assert.equal(request.body.yes[1], 0x0d, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest returned correct second byte for body f00d')
 
-      assert.equal(Object.keys(request.params).length, 2, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest did not mess with request.params')
+      assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(request.params), 2)
       assert(Buffer.isBuffer(request.params.y), 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest returned buffer for params deadbeef')
-      assert.equal(request.params.y.length, 4, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest returned correct length for params deadbeef')
+      assert.lengthOf(request.params.y, 4)
       assert.equal(request.params.y[0], 0xde, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest returned correct first byte for params deadbeef')
       assert.equal(request.params.y[1], 0xad, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest returned correct second byte for params deadbeef')
       assert.equal(request.params.y[2], 0xbe, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest returned correct third byte for params deadbeef')
       assert.equal(request.params.y[3], 0xef, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest returned correct fourth byte for params deadbeef')
       assert.equal(request.params.n, 'deadbeef', 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest ignored params not in matchlist')
       assert(next.calledOnce, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest called next')
-      assert.equal(next.getCall(0).args.length, 0, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest called next with no arguments')
+      assert.lengthOf(next.getCall(0).args, 0)
 
       request = {
         body: {
@@ -118,11 +118,11 @@ describe('bufferize', () => {
       next = sinon.spy()
       bufferize.bufferizeRequest(null, request, {}, next)
 
-      assert.equal(Object.keys(request).length, 1, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest did not mess with request')
-      assert.equal(Object.keys(request.body).length, 1, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest did not mess with request.body')
+      assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(request), 1)
+      assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(request.body), 1)
       assert.equal(request.body.buf, 'invalid', 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest did not overwrite invalid field in body')
       assert(next.calledOnce, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest called next')
-      assert.equal(next.getCall(0).args.length, 1, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest called next with one argument')
+      assert.lengthOf(next.getCall(0).args, 1)
       assert.equal(next.getCall(0).args[0].statusCode, 400, 'bufferize.bufferizeRequest called next with a 400 error')
     }
   )
diff --git a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/local/error.js b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/local/error.js
index e6e7ff3bb01..4000e6240a1 100644
--- a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/local/error.js
+++ b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/local/error.js
@@ -3,17 +3,17 @@
 
 'use strict'
 
-const assert = require('insist')
+const { assert } = require('chai')
 
 describe('error', () => {
   it(
     'error module',
     () => {
       const error = require('../../lib/error')
-      assert.equal(typeof error, 'function', 'error module returns a function')
+      assert.isFunction(error)
 
       const duplicate = error.duplicate()
-      assert.equal(typeof duplicate, 'object', 'duplicate returns an object')
+      assert.isObject(duplicate)
       assert(duplicate instanceof error, 'is an instance of error')
       assert.equal(duplicate.code, 409)
       assert.equal(duplicate.errno, 101)
@@ -22,7 +22,7 @@ describe('error', () => {
       assert.equal(duplicate.toString(), 'Error: Record already exists')
 
       const notFound = error.notFound()
-      assert.equal(typeof notFound, 'object', 'notFound returns an object')
+      assert.isObject(notFound)
       assert(notFound instanceof error, 'is an instance of error')
       assert.equal(notFound.code, 404)
       assert.equal(notFound.errno, 116)
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ describe('error', () => {
       err.code = 'ER_QUERY_INTERRUPTED'
       err.errno = 1317
       const wrap = error.wrap(err)
-      assert.equal(typeof wrap, 'object', 'wrap returns an object')
+      assert.isObject(wrap)
       assert(wrap instanceof error, 'is an instance of error')
       assert.equal(wrap.code, 500)
       assert.equal(wrap.errno, 1317)
diff --git a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/local/safeJsonFormatter.js b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/local/safeJsonFormatter.js
index 0b761060361..9fa02abed22 100644
--- a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/local/safeJsonFormatter.js
+++ b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/db-server/test/local/safeJsonFormatter.js
@@ -3,12 +3,12 @@
 
 'use strict'
 
-const assert = require('insist')
+const { assert } = require('chai')
 const safeJsonFormatter = require('../../lib/safeJsonFormatter')
 
 describe('safeJsonFormatter module', () => {
   it('safeJsonFormatter function exported', () => {
-    assert.equal(typeof safeJsonFormatter === 'function', true)
+    assert.isFunction(safeJsonFormatter)
   })
 
   it('escapes input', () => {
diff --git a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/npm-shrinkwrap.json b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/npm-shrinkwrap.json
index 39082938637..afb1274717b 100644
--- a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/npm-shrinkwrap.json
+++ b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/npm-shrinkwrap.json
@@ -14,12 +14,12 @@
       }
     },
     "@babel/generator": {
-      "version": "7.4.0",
-      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/@babel/generator/-/generator-7.4.0.tgz",
-      "integrity": "sha512-/v5I+a1jhGSKLgZDcmAUZ4K/VePi43eRkUs3yePW1HB1iANOD5tqJXwGSG4BZhSksP8J9ejSlwGeTiiOFZOrXQ==",
+      "version": "7.4.4",
+      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/@babel/generator/-/generator-7.4.4.tgz",
+      "integrity": "sha512-53UOLK6TVNqKxf7RUh8NE851EHRxOOeVXKbK2bivdb+iziMyk03Sr4eaE9OELCbyZAAafAKPDwF2TPUES5QbxQ==",
       "dev": true,
       "requires": {
-        "@babel/types": "^7.4.0",
+        "@babel/types": "^7.4.4",
         "jsesc": "^2.5.1",
         "lodash": "^4.17.11",
         "source-map": "^0.5.0",
@@ -47,12 +47,12 @@
       }
     },
     "@babel/helper-split-export-declaration": {
-      "version": "7.4.0",
-      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/@babel/helper-split-export-declaration/-/helper-split-export-declaration-7.4.0.tgz",
-      "integrity": "sha512-7Cuc6JZiYShaZnybDmfwhY4UYHzI6rlqhWjaIqbsJGsIqPimEYy5uh3akSRLMg65LSdSEnJ8a8/bWQN6u2oMGw==",
+      "version": "7.4.4",
+      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/@babel/helper-split-export-declaration/-/helper-split-export-declaration-7.4.4.tgz",
+      "integrity": "sha512-Ro/XkzLf3JFITkW6b+hNxzZ1n5OQ80NvIUdmHspih1XAhtN3vPTuUFT4eQnela+2MaZ5ulH+iyP513KJrxbN7Q==",
       "dev": true,
       "requires": {
-        "@babel/types": "^7.4.0"
+        "@babel/types": "^7.4.4"
       }
     },
     "@babel/highlight": {
@@ -98,34 +98,34 @@
       }
     },
     "@babel/parser": {
-      "version": "7.4.3",
-      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/@babel/parser/-/parser-7.4.3.tgz",
-      "integrity": "sha512-gxpEUhTS1sGA63EGQGuA+WESPR/6tz6ng7tSHFCmaTJK/cGK8y37cBTspX+U2xCAue2IQVvF6Z0oigmjwD8YGQ==",
+      "version": "7.4.4",
+      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/@babel/parser/-/parser-7.4.4.tgz",
+      "integrity": "sha512-5pCS4mOsL+ANsFZGdvNLybx4wtqAZJ0MJjMHxvzI3bvIsz6sQvzW8XX92EYIkiPtIvcfG3Aj+Ir5VNyjnZhP7w==",
       "dev": true
     },
     "@babel/template": {
-      "version": "7.4.0",
-      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/@babel/template/-/template-7.4.0.tgz",
-      "integrity": "sha512-SOWwxxClTTh5NdbbYZ0BmaBVzxzTh2tO/TeLTbF6MO6EzVhHTnff8CdBXx3mEtazFBoysmEM6GU/wF+SuSx4Fw==",
+      "version": "7.4.4",
+      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/@babel/template/-/template-7.4.4.tgz",
+      "integrity": "sha512-CiGzLN9KgAvgZsnivND7rkA+AeJ9JB0ciPOD4U59GKbQP2iQl+olF1l76kJOupqidozfZ32ghwBEJDhnk9MEcw==",
       "dev": true,
       "requires": {
         "@babel/code-frame": "^7.0.0",
-        "@babel/parser": "^7.4.0",
-        "@babel/types": "^7.4.0"
+        "@babel/parser": "^7.4.4",
+        "@babel/types": "^7.4.4"
       }
     },
     "@babel/traverse": {
-      "version": "7.4.3",
-      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/@babel/traverse/-/traverse-7.4.3.tgz",
-      "integrity": "sha512-HmA01qrtaCwwJWpSKpA948cBvU5BrmviAief/b3AVw936DtcdsTexlbyzNuDnthwhOQ37xshn7hvQaEQk7ISYQ==",
+      "version": "7.4.4",
+      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/@babel/traverse/-/traverse-7.4.4.tgz",
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+      "version": "3.3.0",
+      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/istanbul-lib-instrument/-/istanbul-lib-instrument-3.3.0.tgz",
+      "integrity": "sha512-5nnIN4vo5xQZHdXno/YDXJ0G+I3dAm4XgzfSVTPLQpj/zAV2dV6Juy0yaf10/zrJOJeHoN3fraFe+XRq2bFVZA==",
       "dev": true,
       "requires": {
-        "@babel/generator": "^7.0.0",
-        "@babel/parser": "^7.0.0",
-        "@babel/template": "^7.0.0",
-        "@babel/traverse": "^7.0.0",
-        "@babel/types": "^7.0.0",
-        "istanbul-lib-coverage": "^2.0.3",
-        "semver": "^5.5.0"
+        "@babel/generator": "^7.4.0",
+        "@babel/parser": "^7.4.3",
+        "@babel/template": "^7.4.0",
+        "@babel/traverse": "^7.4.3",
+        "@babel/types": "^7.4.0",
+        "istanbul-lib-coverage": "^2.0.5",
+        "semver": "^6.0.0"
+      },
+      "dependencies": {
+        "semver": {
+          "version": "6.0.0",
+          "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/semver/-/semver-6.0.0.tgz",
+          "integrity": "sha512-0UewU+9rFapKFnlbirLi3byoOuhrSsli/z/ihNnvM24vgF+8sNBiI1LZPBSH9wJKUwaUbw+s3hToDLCXkrghrQ==",
+          "dev": true
+        }
       }
     },
     "js-tokens": {
@@ -2033,16 +2121,16 @@
       "integrity": "sha512-x0Vn8spI+wuJ1O6S7gnbaQg8Pxh4NNHb7KSINmEWKiPE4RKOplvijn+NkmYmmRgP68mc70j2EbeTFRsrswaQeg=="
     },
     "mime-db": {
-      "version": "1.38.0",
-      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/mime-db/-/mime-db-1.38.0.tgz",
-      "integrity": "sha512-bqVioMFFzc2awcdJZIzR3HjZFX20QhilVS7hytkKrv7xFAn8bM1gzc/FOX2awLISvWe0PV8ptFKcon+wZ5qYkg=="
+      "version": "1.40.0",
+      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/mime-db/-/mime-db-1.40.0.tgz",
+      "integrity": "sha512-jYdeOMPy9vnxEqFRRo6ZvTZ8d9oPb+k18PKoYNYUe2stVEBPPwsln/qWzdbmaIvnhZ9v2P+CuecK+fpUfsV2mA=="
     },
     "mime-types": {
-      "version": "2.1.22",
-      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/mime-types/-/mime-types-2.1.22.tgz",
-      "integrity": "sha512-aGl6TZGnhm/li6F7yx82bJiBZwgiEa4Hf6CNr8YO+r5UHr53tSTYZb102zyU50DOWWKeOv0uQLRL0/9EiKWCog==",
+      "version": "2.1.24",
+      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/mime-types/-/mime-types-2.1.24.tgz",
+      "integrity": "sha512-WaFHS3MCl5fapm3oLxU4eYDw77IQM2ACcxQ9RIxfaC3ooc6PFuBMGZZsYpvoXS5D5QTWPieo1jjLdAm3TBP3cQ==",
       "requires": {
-        "mime-db": "~1.38.0"
+        "mime-db": "1.40.0"
       }
     },
     "minimalistic-assert": {
@@ -2234,9 +2322,9 @@
       "optional": true
     },
     "negotiator": {
-      "version": "0.6.1",
-      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/negotiator/-/negotiator-0.6.1.tgz",
-      "integrity": "sha1-KzJxhOiZIQEXeyhWP7XnECrNDKk="
+      "version": "0.6.2",
+      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/negotiator/-/negotiator-0.6.2.tgz",
+      "integrity": "sha512-hZXc7K2e+PgeI1eDBe/10Ard4ekbfrrqG8Ep+8Jmf4JID2bNg7NvCPOZN+kfF574pFQI7mum2AUqDidoKqcTOw=="
     },
     "newrelic": {
       "version": "4.10.0",
@@ -2287,6 +2375,17 @@
         "qs": "^6.0.2"
       },
       "dependencies": {
+        "chai": {
+          "version": "3.5.0",
+          "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/chai/-/chai-3.5.0.tgz",
+          "integrity": "sha1-TQJjewZ/6Vi9v906QOxW/vc3Mkc=",
+          "dev": true,
+          "requires": {
+            "assertion-error": "^1.0.1",
+            "deep-eql": "^0.1.3",
+            "type-detect": "^1.0.0"
+          }
+        },
         "debug": {
           "version": "2.6.9",
           "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/debug/-/debug-2.6.9.tgz",
@@ -2296,11 +2395,34 @@
             "ms": "2.0.0"
           }
         },
+        "deep-eql": {
+          "version": "0.1.3",
+          "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/deep-eql/-/deep-eql-0.1.3.tgz",
+          "integrity": "sha1-71WKyrjeJSBs1xOQbXTlaTDrafI=",
+          "dev": true,
+          "requires": {
+            "type-detect": "0.1.1"
+          },
+          "dependencies": {
+            "type-detect": {
+              "version": "0.1.1",
+              "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/type-detect/-/type-detect-0.1.1.tgz",
+              "integrity": "sha1-C6XsKohWQORw6k6FBZcZANrFiCI=",
+              "dev": true
+            }
+          }
+        },
         "ms": {
           "version": "2.0.0",
           "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/ms/-/ms-2.0.0.tgz",
           "integrity": "sha1-VgiurfwAvmwpAd9fmGF4jeDVl8g=",
           "dev": true
+        },
+        "type-detect": {
+          "version": "1.0.0",
+          "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/type-detect/-/type-detect-1.0.0.tgz",
+          "integrity": "sha1-diIXzAbbJY7EiQihKY6LlRIejqI=",
+          "dev": true
         }
       }
     },
@@ -3382,6 +3504,24 @@
       "integrity": "sha1-IQmtx5ZYh8/AXLvUQsrIv7s2CGM=",
       "dev": true
     },
+    "object-keys": {
+      "version": "1.1.1",
+      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/object-keys/-/object-keys-1.1.1.tgz",
+      "integrity": "sha512-NuAESUOUMrlIXOfHKzD6bpPu3tYt3xvjNdRIQ+FeT0lNb4K8WR70CaDxhuNguS2XG+GjkyMwOzsN5ZktImfhLA==",
+      "dev": true
+    },
+    "object.entries": {
+      "version": "1.1.0",
+      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/object.entries/-/object.entries-1.1.0.tgz",
+      "integrity": "sha512-l+H6EQ8qzGRxbkHOd5I/aHRhHDKoQXQ8g0BYt4uSweQU1/J6dZUOyWh9a2Vky35YCKjzmgxOzta2hH6kf9HuXA==",
+      "dev": true,
+      "requires": {
+        "define-properties": "^1.1.3",
+        "es-abstract": "^1.12.0",
+        "function-bind": "^1.1.1",
+        "has": "^1.0.3"
+      }
+    },
     "obuf": {
       "version": "1.1.2",
       "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/obuf/-/obuf-1.1.2.tgz",
@@ -3467,6 +3607,12 @@
         "pinkie-promise": "^2.0.0"
       }
     },
+    "pathval": {
+      "version": "1.1.0",
+      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/pathval/-/pathval-1.1.0.tgz",
+      "integrity": "sha1-uULm1L3mUwBe9rcTYd74cn0GReA=",
+      "dev": true
+    },
     "pem-jwk": {
       "version": "1.5.1",
       "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/pem-jwk/-/pem-jwk-1.5.1.tgz",
@@ -3710,9 +3856,9 @@
       }
     },
     "resolve": {
-      "version": "1.10.0",
-      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/resolve/-/resolve-1.10.0.tgz",
-      "integrity": "sha512-3sUr9aq5OfSg2S9pNtPA9hL1FVEAjvfOC4leW0SNf/mpnaakz2a9femSd6LqAww2RaFctwyf1lCqnTHuF1rxDg==",
+      "version": "1.10.1",
+      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/resolve/-/resolve-1.10.1.tgz",
+      "integrity": "sha512-KuIe4mf++td/eFb6wkaPbMDnP6kObCaEtIDuHOUED6MNUo4K670KZUHuuvYPZDxNF0WVLw49n06M2m2dXphEzA==",
       "dev": true,
       "requires": {
         "path-parse": "^1.0.6"
@@ -4281,9 +4427,9 @@
       }
     },
     "type-detect": {
-      "version": "1.0.0",
-      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/type-detect/-/type-detect-1.0.0.tgz",
-      "integrity": "sha1-diIXzAbbJY7EiQihKY6LlRIejqI=",
+      "version": "4.0.8",
+      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/type-detect/-/type-detect-4.0.8.tgz",
+      "integrity": "sha512-0fr/mIH1dlO+x7TlcMy+bIDqKPsw/70tVyeHW787goQjhmqaZe10uwLujubK9q9Lg6Fiho1KUKDYz0Z7k7g5/g==",
       "dev": true
     },
     "typedarray": {
@@ -4324,12 +4470,16 @@
       "integrity": "sha1-Qw/VEKt/yVtdWRDJAteYgMIIQ2s="
     },
     "util": {
-      "version": "0.11.1",
-      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/util/-/util-0.11.1.tgz",
-      "integrity": "sha512-HShAsny+zS2TZfaXxD9tYj4HQGlBezXZMZuM/S5PKLLoZkShZiGk9o5CzukI1LVHZvjdvZ2Sj1aW/Ndn2NB/HQ==",
+      "version": "0.12.0",
+      "resolved": "https://registry.npmjs.org/util/-/util-0.12.0.tgz",
+      "integrity": "sha512-pPSOFl7VLhZ7LO/SFABPraZEEurkJUWSMn3MuA/r3WQZc+Z1fqou2JqLSOZbCLl73EUIxuUVX8X4jkX2vfJeAA==",
       "dev": true,
       "requires": {
-        "inherits": "2.0.3"
+        "inherits": "2.0.3",
+        "is-arguments": "^1.0.4",
+        "is-generator-function": "^1.0.7",
+        "object.entries": "^1.1.0",
+        "safe-buffer": "^5.1.2"
       }
     },
     "util-deprecate": {
diff --git a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/package.json b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/package.json
index ff8895a6fff..661552133c4 100644
--- a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/package.json
+++ b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/package.json
@@ -43,11 +43,11 @@
     "restify": "7.2.2"
   },
   "devDependencies": {
+    "chai": "4.2.0",
     "eslint-plugin-fxa": "git+https://github.com/mozilla/eslint-plugin-fxa#master",
     "grunt": "1.0.4",
     "grunt-copyright": "0.3.0",
     "grunt-eslint": "18.0.0",
-    "insist": "1.0.0",
     "load-grunt-tasks": "3.5.0",
     "mocha": "5.2.0",
     "nock": "8.0.0",
diff --git a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/scripts/createAccounts.js b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/scripts/createAccounts.js
index 42652c6d597..7947d601527 100644
--- a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/scripts/createAccounts.js
+++ b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/scripts/createAccounts.js
@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@
 
 // For testing purposes only, generate traffic and table size for fxa.accounts.
 
-const assert = require('insist')
+const { assert } = require('chai')
 const dbServer = require('../db-server')
 const log = require('../test/lib/log')
 const DB = require('../lib/db/mysql')(log, dbServer.errors)
diff --git a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/constants_test.js b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/constants_test.js
index 8b5cebedd8f..b549239ec37 100644
--- a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/constants_test.js
+++ b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/constants_test.js
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 /* Any copyright is dedicated to the Public Domain.
  * http://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/ */
 
-const assert = require('insist')
+const { assert } = require('chai')
 const constants = require('../../lib/constants')
 describe('constants', () => {
   it(
diff --git a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/incorrect-patch-level.js b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/incorrect-patch-level.js
index b02eceac82f..cbb3883e851 100644
--- a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/incorrect-patch-level.js
+++ b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/incorrect-patch-level.js
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
 
 'use strict'
 
-const assert = require('insist')
+const { assert } = require('chai')
 const dbServer = require('../../db-server')
 const log = require('../lib/log')
 const DB = require('../../lib/db/mysql')(log, dbServer.errors)
@@ -26,8 +26,7 @@ describe('DB patch', () => {
           assert(false, 'DB.connect should have failed on an incorrect patchVersion')
         },
         err => {
-          assert.equal(typeof err, 'object')
-          assert(err instanceof Error)
+          assert.instanceOf(err, Error)
           assert.equal(err.message, 'dbIncorrectPatchLevel')
         }
       )
diff --git a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/log-stats.js b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/log-stats.js
index 438eb2c1f9f..2c48acdcb80 100644
--- a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/log-stats.js
+++ b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/log-stats.js
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
 
 'use strict'
 
-const assert = require('insist')
+const { assert } = require('chai')
 const dbServer = require('../../db-server')
 const P = require('../../lib/promise')
 const config = require('../../config')
@@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ describe('DB statInterval', () => {
   it('should log stats periodically', () => {
     return dfd.promise
       .then(stats => {
-        assert.equal(typeof stats, 'object')
+        assert.isObject(stats)
         assert.equal(stats.stat, 'mysql')
         assert.equal(stats.errors, 0)
         assert.equal(stats.connections, 1)
diff --git a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/metrics_tests.js b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/metrics_tests.js
index 7570beeb6ba..89bd47de829 100644
--- a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/metrics_tests.js
+++ b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/metrics_tests.js
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
 
 'use strict'
 
-const assert = require('insist')
+const { assert } = require('chai')
 const log = require('../lib/log')
 const DB = require('../../lib/db/mysql')(log, require('../../db-server').errors)
 const config = require('../../config')
@@ -34,12 +34,12 @@ describe('DB metrics', () => {
         Date.now()
       ]
 
-      assert.equal(typeof metrics.run, 'function', 'run function was exported')
-      assert.equal(typeof metrics.countAccounts, 'string', 'countAccounts string was exported')
-      assert.equal(typeof metrics.countVerifiedAccounts, 'string', 'countVerifiedAccounts string was exported')
-      assert.equal(typeof metrics.countAccountsWithTwoOrMoreDevices, 'string', 'countAccountsWithTwoOrMoreDevices string was exported')
-      assert.equal(typeof metrics.countAccountsWithThreeOrMoreDevices, 'string', 'countAccountsWithThreeOrMoreDevices string was exported')
-      assert.equal(typeof metrics.countAccountsWithMobileDevice, 'string', 'countAccountsWithMobileDevice string was exported')
+      assert.isFunction(metrics.run)
+      assert.isString(metrics.countAccounts)
+      assert.isString(metrics.countVerifiedAccounts)
+      assert.isString(metrics.countAccountsWithTwoOrMoreDevices)
+      assert.isString(metrics.countAccountsWithThreeOrMoreDevices)
+      assert.isString(metrics.countAccountsWithMobileDevice)
 
       return P.all([
         db.readAllResults(metrics.countAccounts, times[0]),
@@ -50,7 +50,7 @@ describe('DB metrics', () => {
       ])
       .then(function (results) {
         results.forEach(function (result, index) {
-          assert(result.count >= 0, 'returned non-negative count [' + index + ']')
+          assert.isAtLeast(result.count, 0)
         })
         lastResults = results
         uid = crypto.randomBytes(16)
@@ -226,17 +226,17 @@ describe('DB metrics', () => {
       .then(function () {
 
         assert.equal(connect.callCount, 1, 'mysql.connect was called once')
-        assert.equal(connect.getCall(0).args.length, 1, 'mysql.connect was passed one argument')
+        assert.lengthOf(connect.getCall(0).args, 1)
         var options = connect.getCall(0).args[0]
-        assert.equal(Object.keys(options).length, 3, 'mysql.connect options had correct number of properties')
-        assert.equal(typeof options.master, 'object', 'mysql.connect master option was object')
-        assert.equal(Object.keys(options.master).length, 4, 'mysql.connect master option had correct number of properties')
+        assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(options), 3)
+        assert.isObject(options.master)
+        assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(options.master), 4)
         assert.equal(options.master.host, 'foo', 'mysql.connect master.host option was correct')
         assert.equal(options.master.user, 'bar', 'mysql.connect master.user option was correct')
         assert.equal(options.master.password, 'baz', 'mysql.connect master.password option was correct')
         assert.equal(options.master.database, 'fxa', 'mysql.connect master.database option was correct')
-        assert.equal(typeof options.slave, 'object', 'mysql.connect slave option was object')
-        assert.equal(Object.keys(options.slave).length, 4, 'mysql.connect slave option had correct number of properties')
+        assert.isObject(options.slave)
+        assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(options.slave), 4)
         assert.equal(options.slave.host, 'foo', 'mysql.connect slave.host option was correct')
         assert.equal(options.slave.user, 'bar', 'mysql.connect slave.user option was correct')
         assert.equal(options.slave.password, 'baz', 'mysql.connect slave.password option was correct')
@@ -244,19 +244,19 @@ describe('DB metrics', () => {
         assert.equal(options.patchKey, 'schema-patch-level', 'mysql.connect patchKey option was correct')
 
         assert.equal(readMultiple.callCount, 1, 'readMultiple was called once')
-        assert.equal(readMultiple.getCall(0).args.length, 2, 'readMultiple was passed two arguments')
+        assert.lengthOf(readMultiple.getCall(0).args, 2)
         var queries = readMultiple.getCall(0).args[0]
-        assert(Array.isArray(queries), 'readMultiple was passed queries array')
-        assert.equal(queries.length, 7, 'query array was correct length')
+        assert.isArray(queries)
+        assert.lengthOf(queries, 7)
 
         queries.forEach(function (query, index) {
-          assert.equal(typeof query, 'object', 'query item was object [' + index + ']')
+          assert.isObject(query)
           if (index <= 1) {
-            assert.equal(Object.keys(query).length, 1, 'query item had correct number of properties [' + index + ']')
+            assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(query), 1)
           } else {
-            assert.equal(Object.keys(query).length, 2, 'query item had correct number of properties [' + index + ']')
-            assert(Array.isArray(query.params), 'query item had params array [' + index + ']')
-            assert.equal(query.params.length, 1, 'query item had correct number of params [' + index + ']')
+            assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(query), 2)
+            assert.isArray(query.params)
+            assert.lengthOf(query.params, 1)
             assert.equal(query.params[0], Date.UTC(1977, 5, 10, 0, 0, 0, 0), 'query item had correct param [' + index + ']')
           }
         })
@@ -268,18 +268,18 @@ describe('DB metrics', () => {
         assert.equal(queries[5].sql, metrics.countAccountsWithThreeOrMoreDevices, 'sixth query had correct SQL')
         assert.equal(queries[6].sql, metrics.countAccountsWithMobileDevice, 'seventh query had correct SQL')
         var finalQuery = readMultiple.getCall(0).args[1]
-        assert.equal(Object.keys(finalQuery).length, 1, 'final query had correct number of properties')
+        assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(finalQuery), 1)
         assert.equal(finalQuery.sql, 'COMMIT', 'final query had correct SQL')
 
         assert.equal(mocks.fs.appendFileSync.callCount, 1, 'fs.appendFileSync was called once')
         var args = mocks.fs.appendFileSync.getCall(0).args
-        assert.equal(args.length, 2, 'fs.appendFileSync was passed two arguments')
+        assert.lengthOf(args, 2)
         assert.equal(args[0], '/media/ephemeral0/fxa-admin/basic_metrics.log', 'log file path was correct')
-        assert.equal(typeof args[1], 'string', 'log file data was string')
+        assert.isString(args[1])
         var delimiterIndex = args[1].length - 1
         assert.equal(args[1][delimiterIndex], '\n', 'log file data was correctly delimited')
         var data = JSON.parse(args[1].substr(0, delimiterIndex))
-        assert.equal(Object.keys(data).length, 10, 'log file data had correct number of properties')
+        assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(data), 10)
         assert.equal(data.hostname, 'fake hostname', 'log file hostname property was correct')
         assert.equal(data.pid, process.pid, 'log file pid property was correct')
         assert.equal(data.op, 'account_totals', 'log file op property was correct')
@@ -288,7 +288,7 @@ describe('DB metrics', () => {
         assert.equal(data.total_accounts_with_two_or_more_devices, 3, 'log file total_accounts_with_two_or_more_devices property was correct')
         assert.equal(data.total_accounts_with_three_or_more_devices, 4, 'log file total_accounts_with_three_or_more_devices property was correct')
         assert.equal(data.total_accounts_with_mobile_device, 5, 'log file total_accounts_with_mobile_device property was correct')
-        assert.equal(typeof data.time, 'string', 'log file time property was a string')
+        assert.isString(data.time)
         var time = new Date(data.time)
         assert.equal(time.getUTCFullYear(), 1977, 'log file time property had correct year')
         assert.equal(time.getUTCMonth(), 5, 'log file time property had correct month')
@@ -300,7 +300,7 @@ describe('DB metrics', () => {
         assert.equal(data.v, 0, 'log file v property was correct')
 
         assert.equal(close.callCount, 1, 'connection.close was called once')
-        assert.equal(close.getCall(0).args.length, 0, 'connection.close was passed no arguments')
+        assert.lengthOf(close.getCall(0).args, 0)
       })
     }
   )
diff --git a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/mysql_tests.js b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/mysql_tests.js
index 4fb80da8ce2..f73bfc83b73 100644
--- a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/mysql_tests.js
+++ b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/mysql_tests.js
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
 
 'use strict'
 
-const assert = require('insist')
+const { assert } = require('chai')
 const dbServer = require('../../db-server')
 const log = require('../lib/log')
 const DB = require('../../lib/db/mysql')(log, dbServer.errors)
@@ -278,15 +278,15 @@ describe('MySQL', () => {
       ])
       .then(
         function(results) {
-          assert(Array.isArray(results), 'results array was returned')
-          assert.equal(results.length, 2, 'results array contained two items')
-          assert(Array.isArray(results[0]), 'first result was an array')
-          assert(results[0].length <= 1, 'first result contained zero or one items')
-          assert(Array.isArray(results[1]), 'second result was an array')
-          assert.equal(results[1].length, 1, 'second result contained one item')
-          assert.equal(typeof results[1][0], 'object', 'second result item was object')
-          assert.equal(Object.keys(results[1][0]).length, 1, 'second result item had one property')
-          assert(results[1][0].count >= 0, 'count property was non-negative number')
+          assert.isArray(results)
+          assert.lengthOf(results, 2)
+          assert.isArray(results[0])
+          assert.isAtMost(results[0].length, 1)
+          assert.isArray(results[1])
+          assert.lengthOf(results[1], 1)
+          assert.isObject(results[1][0])
+          assert.lengthOf(Object.keys(results[1][0]), 1)
+          assert.isAtLeast(results[1][0].count, 0)
         }
       )
     }
@@ -301,7 +301,7 @@ describe('MySQL', () => {
       ], { sql: 'SELECT * FROM accounts LIMIT 1' })
       .then(
         function(results) {
-          assert.equal(results.length, 2, 'results array contained two items')
+          assert.lengthOf(results, 2)
         }
       )
     }
@@ -347,7 +347,7 @@ describe('MySQL', () => {
       return db._connectionConfig('MASTER')
         .then(
           function(config) {
-            assert.equal(typeof config, 'object')
+            assert.isObject(config)
             assert.equal(config.protocol41, true, 'protocol41 is true')
             assert.equal(config.charsetNumber, 46, 'charsetNumber must be 46 (UTF8MB4_BIN)')
             assert.equal(config.multipleStatements, false, 'multipleStatements should normally be false')
@@ -362,7 +362,7 @@ describe('MySQL', () => {
       return db._showVariables('MASTER')
         .then(
           function(vars) {
-            assert.equal(typeof vars, 'object')
+            assert.isObject(vars)
             assert.equal(vars['character_set_client'], 'utf8mb4', 'character_set_connection is utf8mb4')
             assert.equal(vars['character_set_connection'], 'utf8mb4', 'character_set_client is utf8mb4')
             assert.equal(vars['character_set_results'], 'utf8mb4', 'character_set_results is utf8mb4')
diff --git a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/prune_tokens.js b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/prune_tokens.js
index 872195e35c9..b955d0c522f 100644
--- a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/prune_tokens.js
+++ b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/prune_tokens.js
@@ -7,7 +7,7 @@ const TOKEN_PRUNE_AGE = 24 * 60 * 60 * 1000 * 2 // two days
 
 const ROOT_DIR = '../..'
 
-const assert = require('insist')
+const { assert } = require('chai')
 const crypto = require('crypto')
 const dbServer = require(`${ROOT_DIR}/db-server`)
 const log = require('../lib/log')
@@ -145,13 +145,13 @@ describe('prune tokens', () => {
           return db.read(sql, [user.accountId])
         })
         .then(function(res) {
-          assert.equal(res.length, 0, 'no unblock codes for that user')
+          assert.lengthOf(res, 0)
         })
         .then(() => {
           return db.read('SELECT * FROM signinCodes WHERE hash = ?', [signinCodeHash])
         })
         .then(res => {
-          assert.equal(res.length, 0, 'db.read should return an empty recordset')
+          assert.lengthOf(res, 0)
         })
         // The unprunable session token should still exist
         .then(() => db.sessionToken(unprunableSessionTokenId))
@@ -167,17 +167,17 @@ describe('prune tokens', () => {
           return db.read(sql)
         })
         .then((res) => {
-          assert.equal(res.length, 1, 'sessionTokensPrunedUntil still exists')
+          assert.lengthOf(res, 1)
           assert.ok(res[0].value, 'sessionTokensPrunedUntil is not falsy')
           const updatedPrunedUntilValue = parseInt(res[0].value, 10)
-          assert.ok(updatedPrunedUntilValue >  initialPrunedUntilValue, 'sessionTokensPrunedUntil increased')
+          assert.isAbove(updatedPrunedUntilValue, initialPrunedUntilValue)
           // Prune again, so we can check that it gracefully handles
           // the case when there's nothing to prune.
           return db.pruneTokens().then(() => {
             const sql = 'SELECT value FROM dbMetadata WHERE name = \'sessionTokensPrunedUntil\''
             return db.read(sql)
           }).then((res) => {
-            assert.equal(res.length, 1, 'sessionTokensPrunedUntil still exists')
+            assert.lengthOf(res, 1)
             assert.ok(res[0].value, 'sessionTokensPrunedUntil is not falsy')
             assert.equal(parseInt(res[0].value, 10), updatedPrunedUntilValue, 'sessionTokensPrunedUntil did not change')
           })
diff --git a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/random.js b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/random.js
index 9afd375677e..14fe2d7a5c3 100644
--- a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/random.js
+++ b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/random.js
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
 
 'use strict'
 
-const assert = require('insist')
+const { assert } = require('chai')
 
 const base32 = require('../../lib/db/random')
 
@@ -11,11 +11,11 @@ describe('random', () => {
   it('should generate random code', () => {
     return base32(10)
       .then(code => {
-        assert.equal(code.length, 10)
-        assert.equal(code.indexOf('i'), -1, 'should not contain i')
-        assert.equal(code.indexOf('l'), -1, 'should not contain l')
-        assert.equal(code.indexOf('o'), -1, 'should not contain o')
-        assert.equal(code.indexOf('u'), -1, 'should not contain u')
+        assert.lengthOf(code, 10)
+        assert.notInclude(code, 'i')
+        assert.notInclude(code, 'l')
+        assert.notInclude(code, 'o')
+        assert.notInclude(code, 'u')
       })
   })
 })
diff --git a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/utils.js b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/utils.js
index 4f79babb38c..0a8d8542985 100644
--- a/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/utils.js
+++ b/packages/fxa-auth-db-mysql/test/local/utils.js
@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
  * http://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/ */
 
 const dbUtils = require('../../lib/db/util')
-const assert = require('insist')
+const { assert } = require('chai')
 const P = require('bluebird')
 
 describe('utils', () => {
@@ -12,8 +12,8 @@ describe('utils', () => {
       .then((result) => {
         assert.ok(result.hash, 'hash exists')
         assert.ok(result.salt, 'salt exists')
-        assert.equal(result.hash.length, 32)
-        assert.equal(result.salt.length, 32)
+        assert.lengthOf(result.hash, 32)
+        assert.lengthOf(result.salt, 32)
       })
   })
 
@@ -32,18 +32,18 @@ describe('utils', () => {
     it('should fail for different input', () => {
       return dbUtils.compareHashScrypt(inputA, resultB.hash, resultB.salt)
         .then((result) => {
-          assert.equal(result, false, 'strings do not match')
+          assert.isFalse(result)
           return dbUtils.compareHashScrypt(inputB, resultA.hash, resultA.salt)
         })
         .then((result) => {
-          assert.equal(result, false, 'strings do not match')
+          assert.isFalse(result)
         })
     })
 
     it('should succeed for same input', () => {
       return dbUtils.compareHashScrypt(inputA, resultA.hash, resultA.salt)
         .then((result) => {
-          assert.equal(result, true, 'strings do match')
+          assert.isTrue(result)
         })
     })
   })
@@ -57,19 +57,19 @@ describe('utils', () => {
     })
 
     it('should generate correct count of codes', () => {
-      assert.equal(codes.length, codeCount, 'correct number of codees generated')
+      assert.lengthOf(codes, codeCount)
     })
 
     it('should generate correct length of code', () => {
       codes.forEach((code) => {
-        assert.equal(code.length, codeLength, 'code is correct length')
+        assert.lengthOf(code, codeLength)
       })
     })
 
     it('should generate code in keyspace', () => {
       const reg = /[a-z0-9]/
       codes.forEach((code) => {
-        assert.equal(reg.test(code), true, 'code is in correct keyspace')
+        assert.match(code, reg)
       })
     })
   })