this is just gonna happen more and more in node, and people are gonna figure out really good ways to start child processes.
maybe if there was something simple you could add in a child process to let the parent module see what it is requiring.
I don't think there is anyway to solve this w/o a core commit.
or you could get lib writers to opt in by loading something like require('require-analyzer/patch') which monkeypatches a fix.
A core commit is the way to go.
or provide a way to declare what modules you'll load as child processes.
prehaps the better way to solve this problem is to make your child processes a separate package, and then declare a dependency on that manually.