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<
<?xml version="1.0"?>
<!DOCTYPE PLAY SYSTEM "play.dtd">
<PLAY>
<TITLE>Much Ado about Nothing</TITLE>
<FM>
<P>Text placed in the public domain by Moby Lexical Tools, 1992.</P>
<P>SGML markup by Jon Bosak, 1992-1994.</P>
<P>XML version by Jon Bosak, 1996-1998.</P>
<P>This work may be freely copied and distributed worldwide.</P>
</FM>
<PERSONAE>
<TITLE>Dramatis Personae</TITLE>
<PERSONA>DON PEDRO, prince of Arragon.</PERSONA>
<PERSONA>DON JOHN, his bastard brother.</PERSONA>
<PERSONA>CLAUDIO, a young lord of Florence.</PERSONA>
<PERSONA>BENEDICK, a young lord of Padua.</PERSONA>
<PERSONA>LEONATO, governor of Messina.</PERSONA>
<PERSONA>ANTONIO, his brother.</PERSONA>
<PERSONA>BALTHASAR, attendant on Don Pedro.</PERSONA>
<PGROUP>
<PERSONA>CONRADE</PERSONA>
<PERSONA>BORACHIO</PERSONA>
<GRPDESCR>followers of Don John.</GRPDESCR>
</PGROUP>
<PERSONA>FRIAR FRANCIS</PERSONA>
<PERSONA>DOGBERRY, a constable.</PERSONA>
<PERSONA>VERGES, a headborough.</PERSONA>
<PERSONA>A Sexton.</PERSONA>
<PERSONA>A Boy.</PERSONA>
<PERSONA>HERO, daughter to Leonato.</PERSONA>
<PERSONA>BEATRICE, niece to Leonato.</PERSONA>
<PGROUP>
<PERSONA>MARGARET</PERSONA>
<PERSONA>URSULA</PERSONA>
<GRPDESCR>gentlewomen attending on Hero.</GRPDESCR>
</PGROUP>
<PERSONA>Messengers, Watch, Attendants, &amp;c. </PERSONA>
</PERSONAE>
<SCNDESCR>SCENE Messina.</SCNDESCR>
<PLAYSUBT>MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING</PLAYSUBT>
<ACT><TITLE>ACT I</TITLE>
<SCENE><TITLE>SCENE I. Before LEONATO'S house.</TITLE>
<STAGEDIR>Enter LEONATO, HERO, and BEATRICE, with a
Messenger</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I learn in this letter that Don Peter of Arragon</LINE>
<LINE>comes this night to Messina.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Messenger</SPEAKER>
<LINE>He is very near by this: he was not three leagues off</LINE>
<LINE>when I left him.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>How many gentlemen have you lost in this action?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Messenger</SPEAKER>
<LINE>But few of any sort, and none of name.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings</LINE>
<LINE>home full numbers. I find here that Don Peter hath</LINE>
<LINE>bestowed much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Messenger</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Much deserved on his part and equally remembered by</LINE>
<LINE>Don Pedro: he hath borne himself beyond the</LINE>
<LINE>promise of his age, doing, in the figure of a lamb,</LINE>
<LINE>the feats of a lion: he hath indeed better</LINE>
<LINE>bettered expectation than you must expect of me to</LINE>
<LINE>tell you how.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much</LINE>
<LINE>glad of it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Messenger</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I have already delivered him letters, and there</LINE>
<LINE>appears much joy in him; even so much that joy could</LINE>
<LINE>not show itself modest enough without a badge of</LINE>
<LINE>bitterness.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Did he break out into tears?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Messenger</SPEAKER>
<LINE>In great measure.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>A kind overflow of kindness: there are no faces</LINE>
<LINE>truer than those that are so washed. How much</LINE>
<LINE>better is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned from the</LINE>
<LINE>wars or no?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Messenger</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I know none of that name, lady: there was none such</LINE>
<LINE>in the army of any sort.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What is he that you ask for, niece?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Messenger</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O, he's returned; and as pleasant as ever he was.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>He set up his bills here in Messina and challenged</LINE>
<LINE>Cupid at the flight; and my uncle's fool, reading</LINE>
<LINE>the challenge, subscribed for Cupid, and challenged</LINE>
<LINE>him at the bird-bolt. I pray you, how many hath he</LINE>
<LINE>killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath</LINE>
<LINE>he killed? for indeed I promised to eat all of his killing.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too much;</LINE>
<LINE>but he'll be meet with you, I doubt it not.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Messenger</SPEAKER>
<LINE>He hath done good service, lady, in these wars.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it:</LINE>
<LINE>he is a very valiant trencherman; he hath an</LINE>
<LINE>excellent stomach.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Messenger</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And a good soldier too, lady.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And a good soldier to a lady: but what is he to a lord?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Messenger</SPEAKER>
<LINE>A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuffed with all</LINE>
<LINE>honourable virtues.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuffed man:</LINE>
<LINE>but for the stuffing,--well, we are all mortal.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a</LINE>
<LINE>kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her:</LINE>
<LINE>they never meet but there's a skirmish of wit</LINE>
<LINE>between them.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Alas! he gets nothing by that. In our last</LINE>
<LINE>conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and</LINE>
<LINE>now is the whole man governed with one: so that if</LINE>
<LINE>he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him</LINE>
<LINE>bear it for a difference between himself and his</LINE>
<LINE>horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left,</LINE>
<LINE>to be known a reasonable creature. Who is his</LINE>
<LINE>companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Messenger</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Is't possible?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Very easily possible: he wears his faith but as</LINE>
<LINE>the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the</LINE>
<LINE>next block.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Messenger</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No; an he were, I would burn my study. But, I pray</LINE>
<LINE>you, who is his companion? Is there no young</LINE>
<LINE>squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the devil?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Messenger</SPEAKER>
<LINE>He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease: he</LINE>
<LINE>is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker</LINE>
<LINE>runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! if</LINE>
<LINE>he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a</LINE>
<LINE>thousand pound ere a' be cured.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Messenger</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I will hold friends with you, lady.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Do, good friend.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You will never run mad, niece.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No, not till a hot January.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Messenger</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Don Pedro is approached.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Enter DON PEDRO, DON JOHN, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK,
and BALTHASAR</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Good Signior Leonato, you are come to meet your</LINE>
<LINE>trouble: the fashion of the world is to avoid</LINE>
<LINE>cost, and you encounter it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of</LINE>
<LINE>your grace: for trouble being gone, comfort should</LINE>
<LINE>remain; but when you depart from me, sorrow abides</LINE>
<LINE>and happiness takes his leave.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You embrace your charge too willingly. I think this</LINE>
<LINE>is your daughter.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Her mother hath many times told me so.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this</LINE>
<LINE>what you are, being a man. Truly, the lady fathers</LINE>
<LINE>herself. Be happy, lady; for you are like an</LINE>
<LINE>honourable father.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not</LINE>
<LINE>have his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as</LINE>
<LINE>like him as she is.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior</LINE>
<LINE>Benedick: nobody marks you.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Is it possible disdain should die while she hath</LINE>
<LINE>such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick?</LINE>
<LINE>Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come</LINE>
<LINE>in her presence.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I</LINE>
<LINE>am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I</LINE>
<LINE>would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard</LINE>
<LINE>heart; for, truly, I love none.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>A dear happiness to women: they would else have</LINE>
<LINE>been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God</LINE>
<LINE>and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I</LINE>
<LINE>had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man</LINE>
<LINE>swear he loves me.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some</LINE>
<LINE>gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestinate</LINE>
<LINE>scratched face.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere such</LINE>
<LINE>a face as yours were.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and</LINE>
<LINE>so good a continuer. But keep your way, i' God's</LINE>
<LINE>name; I have done.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You always end with a jade's trick: I know you of old.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>That is the sum of all, Leonato. Signior Claudio</LINE>
<LINE>and Signior Benedick, my dear friend Leonato hath</LINE>
<LINE>invited you all. I tell him we shall stay here at</LINE>
<LINE>the least a month; and he heartily prays some</LINE>
<LINE>occasion may detain us longer. I dare swear he is no</LINE>
<LINE>hypocrite, but prays from his heart.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn.</LINE>
<STAGEDIR>To DON JOHN</STAGEDIR>
<LINE>Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being reconciled to</LINE>
<LINE>the prince your brother, I owe you all duty.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I thank you: I am not of many words, but I thank</LINE>
<LINE>you.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Please it your grace lead on?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Your hand, Leonato; we will go together.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exeunt all except BENEDICK and CLAUDIO</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of Signior Leonato?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I noted her not; but I looked on her.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Is she not a modest young lady?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Do you question me, as an honest man should do, for</LINE>
<LINE>my simple true judgment; or would you have me speak</LINE>
<LINE>after my custom, as being a professed tyrant to their sex?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No; I pray thee speak in sober judgment.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Why, i' faith, methinks she's too low for a high</LINE>
<LINE>praise, too brown for a fair praise and too little</LINE>
<LINE>for a great praise: only this commendation I can</LINE>
<LINE>afford her, that were she other than she is, she</LINE>
<LINE>were unhandsome; and being no other but as she is, I</LINE>
<LINE>do not like her.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Thou thinkest I am in sport: I pray thee tell me</LINE>
<LINE>truly how thou likest her.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Would you buy her, that you inquire after her?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Can the world buy such a jewel?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this</LINE>
<LINE>with a sad brow? or do you play the flouting Jack,</LINE>
<LINE>to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder and Vulcan a</LINE>
<LINE>rare carpenter? Come, in what key shall a man take</LINE>
<LINE>you, to go in the song?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I</LINE>
<LINE>looked on.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I can see yet without spectacles and I see no such</LINE>
<LINE>matter: there's her cousin, an she were not</LINE>
<LINE>possessed with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty</LINE>
<LINE>as the first of May doth the last of December. But I</LINE>
<LINE>hope you have no intent to turn husband, have you?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the</LINE>
<LINE>contrary, if Hero would be my wife.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Is't come to this? In faith, hath not the world</LINE>
<LINE>one man but he will wear his cap with suspicion?</LINE>
<LINE>Shall I never see a bachelor of three-score again?</LINE>
<LINE>Go to, i' faith; an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck</LINE>
<LINE>into a yoke, wear the print of it and sigh away</LINE>
<LINE>Sundays. Look Don Pedro is returned to seek you.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Re-enter DON PEDRO</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What secret hath held you here, that you followed</LINE>
<LINE>not to Leonato's?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I would your grace would constrain me to tell.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I charge thee on thy allegiance.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You hear, Count Claudio: I can be secret as a dumb</LINE>
<LINE>man; I would have you think so; but, on my</LINE>
<LINE>allegiance, mark you this, on my allegiance. He is</LINE>
<LINE>in love. With who? now that is your grace's part.</LINE>
<LINE>Mark how short his answer is;--With Hero, Leonato's</LINE>
<LINE>short daughter.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If this were so, so were it uttered.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Like the old tale, my lord: 'it is not so, nor</LINE>
<LINE>'twas not so, but, indeed, God forbid it should be</LINE>
<LINE>so.'</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it</LINE>
<LINE>should be otherwise.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Amen, if you love her; for the lady is very well worthy.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You speak this to fetch me in, my lord.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>By my troth, I speak my thought.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And, in faith, my lord, I spoke mine.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And, by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I spoke mine.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>That I love her, I feel.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>That she is worthy, I know.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>That I neither feel how she should be loved nor</LINE>
<LINE>know how she should be worthy, is the opinion that</LINE>
<LINE>fire cannot melt out of me: I will die in it at the stake.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the despite</LINE>
<LINE>of beauty.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And never could maintain his part but in the force</LINE>
<LINE>of his will.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she</LINE>
<LINE>brought me up, I likewise give her most humble</LINE>
<LINE>thanks: but that I will have a recheat winded in my</LINE>
<LINE>forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick,</LINE>
<LINE>all women shall pardon me. Because I will not do</LINE>
<LINE>them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the</LINE>
<LINE>right to trust none; and the fine is, for the which</LINE>
<LINE>I may go the finer, I will live a bachelor.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord,</LINE>
<LINE>not with love: prove that ever I lose more blood</LINE>
<LINE>with love than I will get again with drinking, pick</LINE>
<LINE>out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's pen and hang me</LINE>
<LINE>up at the door of a brothel-house for the sign of</LINE>
<LINE>blind Cupid.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou</LINE>
<LINE>wilt prove a notable argument.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot</LINE>
<LINE>at me; and he that hits me, let him be clapped on</LINE>
<LINE>the shoulder, and called Adam.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Well, as time shall try: 'In time the savage bull</LINE>
<LINE>doth bear the yoke.'</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>The savage bull may; but if ever the sensible</LINE>
<LINE>Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns and set</LINE>
<LINE>them in my forehead: and let me be vilely painted,</LINE>
<LINE>and in such great letters as they write 'Here is</LINE>
<LINE>good horse to hire,' let them signify under my sign</LINE>
<LINE>'Here you may see Benedick the married man.'</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in</LINE>
<LINE>Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I look for an earthquake too, then.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Well, you temporize with the hours. In the</LINE>
<LINE>meantime, good Signior Benedick, repair to</LINE>
<LINE>Leonato's: commend me to him and tell him I will</LINE>
<LINE>not fail him at supper; for indeed he hath made</LINE>
<LINE>great preparation.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I have almost matter enough in me for such an</LINE>
<LINE>embassage; and so I commit you--</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>To the tuition of God: From my house, if I had it,--</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>The sixth of July: Your loving friend, Benedick.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Nay, mock not, mock not. The body of your</LINE>
<LINE>discourse is sometime guarded with fragments, and</LINE>
<LINE>the guards are but slightly basted on neither: ere</LINE>
<LINE>you flout old ends any further, examine your</LINE>
<LINE>conscience: and so I leave you.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exit</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>My liege, your highness now may do me good.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>My love is thine to teach: teach it but how,</LINE>
<LINE>And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn</LINE>
<LINE>Any hard lesson that may do thee good.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Hath Leonato any son, my lord?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No child but Hero; she's his only heir.</LINE>
<LINE>Dost thou affect her, Claudio?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O, my lord,</LINE>
<LINE>When you went onward on this ended action,</LINE>
<LINE>I look'd upon her with a soldier's eye,</LINE>
<LINE>That liked, but had a rougher task in hand</LINE>
<LINE>Than to drive liking to the name of love:</LINE>
<LINE>But now I am return'd and that war-thoughts</LINE>
<LINE>Have left their places vacant, in their rooms</LINE>
<LINE>Come thronging soft and delicate desires,</LINE>
<LINE>All prompting me how fair young Hero is,</LINE>
<LINE>Saying, I liked her ere I went to wars.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Thou wilt be like a lover presently</LINE>
<LINE>And tire the hearer with a book of words.</LINE>
<LINE>If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it,</LINE>
<LINE>And I will break with her and with her father,</LINE>
<LINE>And thou shalt have her. Was't not to this end</LINE>
<LINE>That thou began'st to twist so fine a story?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>How sweetly you do minister to love,</LINE>
<LINE>That know love's grief by his complexion!</LINE>
<LINE>But lest my liking might too sudden seem,</LINE>
<LINE>I would have salved it with a longer treatise.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What need the bridge much broader than the flood?</LINE>
<LINE>The fairest grant is the necessity.</LINE>
<LINE>Look, what will serve is fit: 'tis once, thou lovest,</LINE>
<LINE>And I will fit thee with the remedy.</LINE>
<LINE>I know we shall have revelling to-night:</LINE>
<LINE>I will assume thy part in some disguise</LINE>
<LINE>And tell fair Hero I am Claudio,</LINE>
<LINE>And in her bosom I'll unclasp my heart</LINE>
<LINE>And take her hearing prisoner with the force</LINE>
<LINE>And strong encounter of my amorous tale:</LINE>
<LINE>Then after to her father will I break;</LINE>
<LINE>And the conclusion is, she shall be thine.</LINE>
<LINE>In practise let us put it presently.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exeunt</STAGEDIR>
</SCENE>
<SCENE><TITLE>SCENE II. A room in LEONATO's house.</TITLE>
<STAGEDIR>Enter LEONATO and ANTONIO, meeting</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>How now, brother! Where is my cousin, your son?</LINE>
<LINE>hath he provided this music?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>ANTONIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>He is very busy about it. But, brother, I can tell</LINE>
<LINE>you strange news that you yet dreamt not of.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Are they good?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>ANTONIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>As the event stamps them: but they have a good</LINE>
<LINE>cover; they show well outward. The prince and Count</LINE>
<LINE>Claudio, walking in a thick-pleached alley in mine</LINE>
<LINE>orchard, were thus much overheard by a man of mine:</LINE>
<LINE>the prince discovered to Claudio that he loved my</LINE>
<LINE>niece your daughter and meant to acknowledge it</LINE>
<LINE>this night in a dance: and if he found her</LINE>
<LINE>accordant, he meant to take the present time by the</LINE>
<LINE>top and instantly break with you of it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Hath the fellow any wit that told you this?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>ANTONIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>A good sharp fellow: I will send for him; and</LINE>
<LINE>question him yourself.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No, no; we will hold it as a dream till it appear</LINE>
<LINE>itself: but I will acquaint my daughter withal,</LINE>
<LINE>that she may be the better prepared for an answer,</LINE>
<LINE>if peradventure this be true. Go you and tell her of it.</LINE>
<STAGEDIR>Enter Attendants</STAGEDIR>
<LINE>Cousins, you know what you have to do. O, I cry you</LINE>
<LINE>mercy, friend; go you with me, and I will use your</LINE>
<LINE>skill. Good cousin, have a care this busy time.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exeunt</STAGEDIR>
</SCENE>
<SCENE><TITLE>SCENE III. The same.</TITLE>
<STAGEDIR>Enter DON JOHN and CONRADE</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What the good-year, my lord! why are you thus out</LINE>
<LINE>of measure sad?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>There is no measure in the occasion that breeds;</LINE>
<LINE>therefore the sadness is without limit.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You should hear reason.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And when I have heard it, what blessing brings it?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If not a present remedy, at least a patient</LINE>
<LINE>sufferance.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I wonder that thou, being, as thou sayest thou art,</LINE>
<LINE>born under Saturn, goest about to apply a moral</LINE>
<LINE>medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide</LINE>
<LINE>what I am: I must be sad when I have cause and smile</LINE>
<LINE>at no man's jests, eat when I have stomach and wait</LINE>
<LINE>for no man's leisure, sleep when I am drowsy and</LINE>
<LINE>tend on no man's business, laugh when I am merry and</LINE>
<LINE>claw no man in his humour.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yea, but you must not make the full show of this</LINE>
<LINE>till you may do it without controlment. You have of</LINE>
<LINE>late stood out against your brother, and he hath</LINE>
<LINE>ta'en you newly into his grace; where it is</LINE>
<LINE>impossible you should take true root but by the</LINE>
<LINE>fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful</LINE>
<LINE>that you frame the season for your own harvest.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in</LINE>
<LINE>his grace, and it better fits my blood to be</LINE>
<LINE>disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob</LINE>
<LINE>love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to</LINE>
<LINE>be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied</LINE>
<LINE>but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with</LINE>
<LINE>a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I</LINE>
<LINE>have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my</LINE>
<LINE>mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do</LINE>
<LINE>my liking: in the meantime let me be that I am and</LINE>
<LINE>seek not to alter me.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Can you make no use of your discontent?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I make all use of it, for I use it only.</LINE>
<LINE>Who comes here?</LINE>
<STAGEDIR>Enter BORACHIO</STAGEDIR>
<LINE>What news, Borachio?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I came yonder from a great supper: the prince your</LINE>
<LINE>brother is royally entertained by Leonato: and I</LINE>
<LINE>can give you intelligence of an intended marriage.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Will it serve for any model to build mischief on?</LINE>
<LINE>What is he for a fool that betroths himself to</LINE>
<LINE>unquietness?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Marry, it is your brother's right hand.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Who? the most exquisite Claudio?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Even he.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks</LINE>
<LINE>he?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>A very forward March-chick! How came you to this?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a</LINE>
<LINE>musty room, comes me the prince and Claudio, hand</LINE>
<LINE>in hand in sad conference: I whipt me behind the</LINE>
<LINE>arras; and there heard it agreed upon that the</LINE>
<LINE>prince should woo Hero for himself, and having</LINE>
<LINE>obtained her, give her to Count Claudio.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Come, come, let us thither: this may prove food to</LINE>
<LINE>my displeasure. That young start-up hath all the</LINE>
<LINE>glory of my overthrow: if I can cross him any way, I</LINE>
<LINE>bless myself every way. You are both sure, and will assist me?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>To the death, my lord.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Let us to the great supper: their cheer is the</LINE>
<LINE>greater that I am subdued. Would the cook were of</LINE>
<LINE>my mind! Shall we go prove what's to be done?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>We'll wait upon your lordship.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exeunt</STAGEDIR>
</SCENE>
</ACT>
<ACT><TITLE>ACT II</TITLE>
<SCENE><TITLE>SCENE I. A hall in LEONATO'S house.</TITLE>
<STAGEDIR>Enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, HERO, BEATRICE, and others</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Was not Count John here at supper?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>ANTONIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I saw him not.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see</LINE>
<LINE>him but I am heart-burned an hour after.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>He is of a very melancholy disposition.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>He were an excellent man that were made just in the</LINE>
<LINE>midway between him and Benedick: the one is too</LINE>
<LINE>like an image and says nothing, and the other too</LINE>
<LINE>like my lady's eldest son, evermore tattling.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Then half Signior Benedick's tongue in Count John's</LINE>
<LINE>mouth, and half Count John's melancholy in Signior</LINE>
<LINE>Benedick's face,--</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>With a good leg and a good foot, uncle, and money</LINE>
<LINE>enough in his purse, such a man would win any woman</LINE>
<LINE>in the world, if a' could get her good-will.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a</LINE>
<LINE>husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>ANTONIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>In faith, she's too curst.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Too curst is more than curst: I shall lessen God's</LINE>
<LINE>sending that way; for it is said, 'God sends a curst</LINE>
<LINE>cow short horns;' but to a cow too curst he sends none.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Just, if he send me no husband; for the which</LINE>
<LINE>blessing I am at him upon my knees every morning and</LINE>
<LINE>evening. Lord, I could not endure a husband with a</LINE>
<LINE>beard on his face: I had rather lie in the woollen.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You may light on a husband that hath no beard.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What should I do with him? dress him in my apparel</LINE>
<LINE>and make him my waiting-gentlewoman? He that hath a</LINE>
<LINE>beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no</LINE>
<LINE>beard is less than a man: and he that is more than</LINE>
<LINE>a youth is not for me, and he that is less than a</LINE>
<LINE>man, I am not for him: therefore, I will even take</LINE>
<LINE>sixpence in earnest of the bear-ward, and lead his</LINE>
<LINE>apes into hell.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Well, then, go you into hell?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No, but to the gate; and there will the devil meet</LINE>
<LINE>me, like an old cuckold, with horns on his head, and</LINE>
<LINE>say 'Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to</LINE>
<LINE>heaven; here's no place for you maids:' so deliver</LINE>
<LINE>I up my apes, and away to Saint Peter for the</LINE>
<LINE>heavens; he shows me where the bachelors sit, and</LINE>
<LINE>there live we as merry as the day is long.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>ANTONIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE><STAGEDIR>To HERO</STAGEDIR> Well, niece, I trust you will be ruled</LINE>
<LINE>by your father.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yes, faith; it is my cousin's duty to make curtsy</LINE>
<LINE>and say 'Father, as it please you.' But yet for all</LINE>
<LINE>that, cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or else</LINE>
<LINE>make another curtsy and say 'Father, as it please</LINE>
<LINE>me.'</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a husband.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Not till God make men of some other metal than</LINE>
<LINE>earth. Would it not grieve a woman to be</LINE>
<LINE>overmastered with a pierce of valiant dust? to make</LINE>
<LINE>an account of her life to a clod of wayward marl?</LINE>
<LINE>No, uncle, I'll none: Adam's sons are my brethren;</LINE>
<LINE>and, truly, I hold it a sin to match in my kindred.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Daughter, remember what I told you: if the prince</LINE>
<LINE>do solicit you in that kind, you know your answer.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be</LINE>
<LINE>not wooed in good time: if the prince be too</LINE>
<LINE>important, tell him there is measure in every thing</LINE>
<LINE>and so dance out the answer. For, hear me, Hero:</LINE>
<LINE>wooing, wedding, and repenting, is as a Scotch jig,</LINE>
<LINE>a measure, and a cinque pace: the first suit is hot</LINE>
<LINE>and hasty, like a Scotch jig, and full as</LINE>
<LINE>fantastical; the wedding, mannerly-modest, as a</LINE>
<LINE>measure, full of state and ancientry; and then comes</LINE>
<LINE>repentance and, with his bad legs, falls into the</LINE>
<LINE>cinque pace faster and faster, till he sink into his grave.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church by daylight.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>The revellers are entering, brother: make good room.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>All put on their masks</STAGEDIR>
<STAGEDIR>Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, BALTHASAR,
DON JOHN, BORACHIO, MARGARET, URSULA and others, masked</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Lady, will you walk about with your friend?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>So you walk softly and look sweetly and say nothing,</LINE>
<LINE>I am yours for the walk; and especially when I walk away.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>With me in your company?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I may say so, when I please.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And when please you to say so?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>When I like your favour; for God defend the lute</LINE>
<LINE>should be like the case!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>My visor is Philemon's roof; within the house is Jove.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Why, then, your visor should be thatched.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Speak low, if you speak love.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Drawing her aside</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BALTHASAR</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Well, I would you did like me.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>So would not I, for your own sake; for I have many</LINE>
<LINE>ill-qualities.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BALTHASAR</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Which is one?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I say my prayers aloud.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BALTHASAR</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I love you the better: the hearers may cry, Amen.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>God match me with a good dancer!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BALTHASAR</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Amen.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And God keep him out of my sight when the dance is</LINE>
<LINE>done! Answer, clerk.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BALTHASAR</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No more words: the clerk is answered.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I know you well enough; you are Signior Antonio.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>ANTONIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>At a word, I am not.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I know you by the waggling of your head.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>ANTONIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>To tell you true, I counterfeit him.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You could never do him so ill-well, unless you were</LINE>
<LINE>the very man. Here's his dry hand up and down: you</LINE>
<LINE>are he, you are he.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>ANTONIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>At a word, I am not.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Come, come, do you think I do not know you by your</LINE>
<LINE>excellent wit? can virtue hide itself? Go to,</LINE>
<LINE>mum, you are he: graces will appear, and there's an</LINE>
<LINE>end.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Will you not tell me who told you so?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No, you shall pardon me.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Nor will you not tell me who you are?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Not now.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>That I was disdainful, and that I had my good wit</LINE>
<LINE>out of the 'Hundred Merry Tales:'--well this was</LINE>
<LINE>Signior Benedick that said so.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What's he?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I am sure you know him well enough.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Not I, believe me.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Did he never make you laugh?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I pray you, what is he?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Why, he is the prince's jester: a very dull fool;</LINE>
<LINE>only his gift is in devising impossible slanders:</LINE>
<LINE>none but libertines delight in him; and the</LINE>
<LINE>commendation is not in his wit, but in his villany;</LINE>
<LINE>for he both pleases men and angers them, and then</LINE>
<LINE>they laugh at him and beat him. I am sure he is in</LINE>
<LINE>the fleet: I would he had boarded me.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>When I know the gentleman, I'll tell him what you say.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Do, do: he'll but break a comparison or two on me;</LINE>
<LINE>which, peradventure not marked or not laughed at,</LINE>
<LINE>strikes him into melancholy; and then there's a</LINE>
<LINE>partridge wing saved, for the fool will eat no</LINE>
<LINE>supper that night.</LINE>
<STAGEDIR>Music</STAGEDIR>
<LINE>We must follow the leaders.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>In every good thing.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at</LINE>
<LINE>the next turning.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Dance. Then exeunt all except DON JOHN, BORACHIO,
and CLAUDIO</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Sure my brother is amorous on Hero and hath</LINE>
<LINE>withdrawn her father to break with him about it.</LINE>
<LINE>The ladies follow her and but one visor remains.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And that is Claudio: I know him by his bearing.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Are not you Signior Benedick?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You know me well; I am he.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Signior, you are very near my brother in his love:</LINE>
<LINE>he is enamoured on Hero; I pray you, dissuade him</LINE>
<LINE>from her: she is no equal for his birth: you may</LINE>
<LINE>do the part of an honest man in it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>How know you he loves her?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I heard him swear his affection.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>So did I too; and he swore he would marry her to-night.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Come, let us to the banquet.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exeunt DON JOHN and BORACHIO</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Thus answer I in the name of Benedick,</LINE>
<LINE>But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio.</LINE>
<LINE>'Tis certain so; the prince wooes for himself.</LINE>
<LINE>Friendship is constant in all other things</LINE>
<LINE>Save in the office and affairs of love:</LINE>
<LINE>Therefore, all hearts in love use their own tongues;</LINE>
<LINE>Let every eye negotiate for itself</LINE>
<LINE>And trust no agent; for beauty is a witch</LINE>
<LINE>Against whose charms faith melteth into blood.</LINE>
<LINE>This is an accident of hourly proof,</LINE>
<LINE>Which I mistrusted not. Farewell, therefore, Hero!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Re-enter BENEDICK</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Count Claudio?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yea, the same.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Come, will you go with me?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Whither?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Even to the next willow, about your own business,</LINE>
<LINE>county. What fashion will you wear the garland of?</LINE>
<LINE>about your neck, like an usurer's chain? or under</LINE>
<LINE>your arm, like a lieutenant's scarf? You must wear</LINE>
<LINE>it one way, for the prince hath got your Hero.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I wish him joy of her.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Why, that's spoken like an honest drovier: so they</LINE>
<LINE>sell bullocks. But did you think the prince would</LINE>
<LINE>have served you thus?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I pray you, leave me.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Ho! now you strike like the blind man: 'twas the</LINE>
<LINE>boy that stole your meat, and you'll beat the post.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If it will not be, I'll leave you.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exit</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Alas, poor hurt fowl! now will he creep into sedges.</LINE>
<LINE>But that my Lady Beatrice should know me, and not</LINE>
<LINE>know me! The prince's fool! Ha? It may be I go</LINE>
<LINE>under that title because I am merry. Yea, but so I</LINE>
<LINE>am apt to do myself wrong; I am not so reputed: it</LINE>
<LINE>is the base, though bitter, disposition of Beatrice</LINE>
<LINE>that puts the world into her person and so gives me</LINE>
<LINE>out. Well, I'll be revenged as I may.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Re-enter DON PEDRO</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Now, signior, where's the count? did you see him?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Troth, my lord, I have played the part of Lady Fame.</LINE>
<LINE>I found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a</LINE>
<LINE>warren: I told him, and I think I told him true,</LINE>
<LINE>that your grace had got the good will of this young</LINE>
<LINE>lady; and I offered him my company to a willow-tree,</LINE>
<LINE>either to make him a garland, as being forsaken, or</LINE>
<LINE>to bind him up a rod, as being worthy to be whipped.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>To be whipped! What's his fault?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>The flat transgression of a schoolboy, who, being</LINE>
<LINE>overjoyed with finding a birds' nest, shows it his</LINE>
<LINE>companion, and he steals it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Wilt thou make a trust a transgression? The</LINE>
<LINE>transgression is in the stealer.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yet it had not been amiss the rod had been made,</LINE>
<LINE>and the garland too; for the garland he might have</LINE>
<LINE>worn himself, and the rod he might have bestowed on</LINE>
<LINE>you, who, as I take it, have stolen his birds' nest.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I will but teach them to sing, and restore them to</LINE>
<LINE>the owner.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If their singing answer your saying, by my faith,</LINE>
<LINE>you say honestly.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you: the</LINE>
<LINE>gentleman that danced with her told her she is much</LINE>
<LINE>wronged by you.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O, she misused me past the endurance of a block!</LINE>
<LINE>an oak but with one green leaf on it would have</LINE>
<LINE>answered her; my very visor began to assume life and</LINE>
<LINE>scold with her. She told me, not thinking I had been</LINE>
<LINE>myself, that I was the prince's jester, that I was</LINE>
<LINE>duller than a great thaw; huddling jest upon jest</LINE>
<LINE>with such impossible conveyance upon me that I stood</LINE>
<LINE>like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at</LINE>
<LINE>me. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs:</LINE>
<LINE>if her breath were as terrible as her terminations,</LINE>
<LINE>there were no living near her; she would infect to</LINE>
<LINE>the north star. I would not marry her, though she</LINE>
<LINE>were endowed with all that Adam bad left him before</LINE>
<LINE>he transgressed: she would have made Hercules have</LINE>
<LINE>turned spit, yea, and have cleft his club to make</LINE>
<LINE>the fire too. Come, talk not of her: you shall find</LINE>
<LINE>her the infernal Ate in good apparel. I would to God</LINE>
<LINE>some scholar would conjure her; for certainly, while</LINE>
<LINE>she is here, a man may live as quiet in hell as in a</LINE>
<LINE>sanctuary; and people sin upon purpose, because they</LINE>
<LINE>would go thither; so, indeed, all disquiet, horror</LINE>
<LINE>and perturbation follows her.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Look, here she comes.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Enter CLAUDIO, BEATRICE, HERO, and LEONATO</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Will your grace command me any service to the</LINE>
<LINE>world's end? I will go on the slightest errand now</LINE>
<LINE>to the Antipodes that you can devise to send me on;</LINE>
<LINE>I will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the</LINE>
<LINE>furthest inch of Asia, bring you the length of</LINE>
<LINE>Prester John's foot, fetch you a hair off the great</LINE>
<LINE>Cham's beard, do you any embassage to the Pigmies,</LINE>
<LINE>rather than hold three words' conference with this</LINE>
<LINE>harpy. You have no employment for me?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>None, but to desire your good company.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O God, sir, here's a dish I love not: I cannot</LINE>
<LINE>endure my Lady Tongue.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exit</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Come, lady, come; you have lost the heart of</LINE>
<LINE>Signior Benedick.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Indeed, my lord, he lent it me awhile; and I gave</LINE>
<LINE>him use for it, a double heart for his single one:</LINE>
<LINE>marry, once before he won it of me with false dice,</LINE>
<LINE>therefore your grace may well say I have lost it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You have put him down, lady, you have put him down.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>So I would not he should do me, my lord, lest I</LINE>
<LINE>should prove the mother of fools. I have brought</LINE>
<LINE>Count Claudio, whom you sent me to seek.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Why, how now, count! wherefore are you sad?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Not sad, my lord.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>How then? sick?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Neither, my lord.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>The count is neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor</LINE>
<LINE>well; but civil count, civil as an orange, and</LINE>
<LINE>something of that jealous complexion.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I' faith, lady, I think your blazon to be true;</LINE>
<LINE>though, I'll be sworn, if he be so, his conceit is</LINE>
<LINE>false. Here, Claudio, I have wooed in thy name, and</LINE>
<LINE>fair Hero is won: I have broke with her father,</LINE>
<LINE>and his good will obtained: name the day of</LINE>
<LINE>marriage, and God give thee joy!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my</LINE>
<LINE>fortunes: his grace hath made the match, and an</LINE>
<LINE>grace say Amen to it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Speak, count, 'tis your cue.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Silence is the perfectest herald of joy: I were</LINE>
<LINE>but little happy, if I could say how much. Lady, as</LINE>
<LINE>you are mine, I am yours: I give away myself for</LINE>
<LINE>you and dote upon the exchange.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Speak, cousin; or, if you cannot, stop his mouth</LINE>
<LINE>with a kiss, and let not him speak neither.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>In faith, lady, you have a merry heart.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yea, my lord; I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on</LINE>
<LINE>the windy side of care. My cousin tells him in his</LINE>
<LINE>ear that he is in her heart.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And so she doth, cousin.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Good Lord, for alliance! Thus goes every one to the</LINE>
<LINE>world but I, and I am sunburnt; I may sit in a</LINE>
<LINE>corner and cry heigh-ho for a husband!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I would rather have one of your father's getting.</LINE>
<LINE>Hath your grace ne'er a brother like you? Your</LINE>
<LINE>father got excellent husbands, if a maid could come by them.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Will you have me, lady?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No, my lord, unless I might have another for</LINE>
<LINE>working-days: your grace is too costly to wear</LINE>
<LINE>every day. But, I beseech your grace, pardon me: I</LINE>
<LINE>was born to speak all mirth and no matter.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best</LINE>
<LINE>becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in</LINE>
<LINE>a merry hour.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there</LINE>
<LINE>was a star danced, and under that was I born.</LINE>
<LINE>Cousins, God give you joy!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Niece, will you look to those things I told you of?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I cry you mercy, uncle. By your grace's pardon.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exit</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>There's little of the melancholy element in her, my</LINE>
<LINE>lord: she is never sad but when she sleeps, and</LINE>
<LINE>not ever sad then; for I have heard my daughter say,</LINE>
<LINE>she hath often dreamed of unhappiness and waked</LINE>
<LINE>herself with laughing.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O, by no means: she mocks all her wooers out of suit.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>She were an excellent wife for Benedict.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O Lord, my lord, if they were but a week married,</LINE>
<LINE>they would talk themselves mad.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>County Claudio, when mean you to go to church?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>To-morrow, my lord: time goes on crutches till love</LINE>
<LINE>have all his rites.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Not till Monday, my dear son, which is hence a just</LINE>
<LINE>seven-night; and a time too brief, too, to have all</LINE>
<LINE>things answer my mind.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Come, you shake the head at so long a breathing:</LINE>
<LINE>but, I warrant thee, Claudio, the time shall not go</LINE>
<LINE>dully by us. I will in the interim undertake one of</LINE>
<LINE>Hercules' labours; which is, to bring Signior</LINE>
<LINE>Benedick and the Lady Beatrice into a mountain of</LINE>
<LINE>affection the one with the other. I would fain have</LINE>
<LINE>it a match, and I doubt not but to fashion it, if</LINE>
<LINE>you three will but minister such assistance as I</LINE>
<LINE>shall give you direction.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>My lord, I am for you, though it cost me ten</LINE>
<LINE>nights' watchings.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And I, my lord.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And you too, gentle Hero?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I will do any modest office, my lord, to help my</LINE>
<LINE>cousin to a good husband.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And Benedick is not the unhopefullest husband that</LINE>
<LINE>I know. Thus far can I praise him; he is of a noble</LINE>
<LINE>strain, of approved valour and confirmed honesty. I</LINE>
<LINE>will teach you how to humour your cousin, that she</LINE>
<LINE>shall fall in love with Benedick; and I, with your</LINE>
<LINE>two helps, will so practise on Benedick that, in</LINE>
<LINE>despite of his quick wit and his queasy stomach, he</LINE>
<LINE>shall fall in love with Beatrice. If we can do this,</LINE>
<LINE>Cupid is no longer an archer: his glory shall be</LINE>
<LINE>ours, for we are the only love-gods. Go in with me,</LINE>
<LINE>and I will tell you my drift.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exeunt</STAGEDIR>
</SCENE>
<SCENE><TITLE>SCENE II. The same.</TITLE>
<STAGEDIR>Enter DON JOHN and BORACHIO</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>It is so; the Count Claudio shall marry the</LINE>
<LINE>daughter of Leonato.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yea, my lord; but I can cross it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Any bar, any cross, any impediment will be</LINE>
<LINE>medicinable to me: I am sick in displeasure to him,</LINE>
<LINE>and whatsoever comes athwart his affection ranges</LINE>
<LINE>evenly with mine. How canst thou cross this marriage?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Not honestly, my lord; but so covertly that no</LINE>
<LINE>dishonesty shall appear in me.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Show me briefly how.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I think I told your lordship a year since, how much</LINE>
<LINE>I am in the favour of Margaret, the waiting</LINE>
<LINE>gentlewoman to Hero.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I remember.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I can, at any unseasonable instant of the night,</LINE>
<LINE>appoint her to look out at her lady's chamber window.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What life is in that, to be the death of this marriage?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>The poison of that lies in you to temper. Go you to</LINE>
<LINE>the prince your brother; spare not to tell him that</LINE>
<LINE>he hath wronged his honour in marrying the renowned</LINE>
<LINE>Claudio--whose estimation do you mightily hold</LINE>
<LINE>up--to a contaminated stale, such a one as Hero.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What proof shall I make of that?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Proof enough to misuse the prince, to vex Claudio,</LINE>
<LINE>to undo Hero and kill Leonato. Look you for any</LINE>
<LINE>other issue?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Only to despite them, I will endeavour any thing.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Go, then; find me a meet hour to draw Don Pedro and</LINE>
<LINE>the Count Claudio alone: tell them that you know</LINE>
<LINE>that Hero loves me; intend a kind of zeal both to the</LINE>
<LINE>prince and Claudio, as,--in love of your brother's</LINE>
<LINE>honour, who hath made this match, and his friend's</LINE>
<LINE>reputation, who is thus like to be cozened with the</LINE>
<LINE>semblance of a maid,--that you have discovered</LINE>
<LINE>thus. They will scarcely believe this without trial:</LINE>
<LINE>offer them instances; which shall bear no less</LINE>
<LINE>likelihood than to see me at her chamber-window,</LINE>
<LINE>hear me call Margaret Hero, hear Margaret term me</LINE>
<LINE>Claudio; and bring them to see this the very night</LINE>
<LINE>before the intended wedding,--for in the meantime I</LINE>
<LINE>will so fashion the matter that Hero shall be</LINE>
<LINE>absent,--and there shall appear such seeming truth</LINE>
<LINE>of Hero's disloyalty that jealousy shall be called</LINE>
<LINE>assurance and all the preparation overthrown.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Grow this to what adverse issue it can, I will put</LINE>
<LINE>it in practise. Be cunning in the working this, and</LINE>
<LINE>thy fee is a thousand ducats.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Be you constant in the accusation, and my cunning</LINE>
<LINE>shall not shame me.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I will presently go learn their day of marriage.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exeunt</STAGEDIR>
</SCENE>
<SCENE><TITLE>SCENE III. LEONATO'S orchard.</TITLE>
<STAGEDIR>Enter BENEDICK</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Boy!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Enter Boy</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Boy</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Signior?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>In my chamber-window lies a book: bring it hither</LINE>
<LINE>to me in the orchard.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Boy</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I am here already, sir.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I know that; but I would have thee hence, and here again.</LINE>
<STAGEDIR>Exit Boy</STAGEDIR>
<LINE>I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much</LINE>
<LINE>another man is a fool when he dedicates his</LINE>
<LINE>behaviors to love, will, after he hath laughed at</LINE>
<LINE>such shallow follies in others, become the argument</LINE>
<LINE>of his own scorn by failing in love: and such a man</LINE>
<LINE>is Claudio. I have known when there was no music</LINE>
<LINE>with him but the drum and the fife; and now had he</LINE>
<LINE>rather hear the tabour and the pipe: I have known</LINE>
<LINE>when he would have walked ten mile a-foot to see a</LINE>
<LINE>good armour; and now will he lie ten nights awake,</LINE>
<LINE>carving the fashion of a new doublet. He was wont to</LINE>
<LINE>speak plain and to the purpose, like an honest man</LINE>
<LINE>and a soldier; and now is he turned orthography; his</LINE>
<LINE>words are a very fantastical banquet, just so many</LINE>
<LINE>strange dishes. May I be so converted and see with</LINE>
<LINE>these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not: I will not</LINE>
<LINE>be sworn, but love may transform me to an oyster; but</LINE>
<LINE>I'll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster</LINE>
<LINE>of me, he shall never make me such a fool. One woman</LINE>
<LINE>is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am</LINE>
<LINE>well; another virtuous, yet I am well; but till all</LINE>
<LINE>graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in</LINE>
<LINE>my grace. Rich she shall be, that's certain; wise,</LINE>
<LINE>or I'll none; virtuous, or I'll never cheapen her;</LINE>
<LINE>fair, or I'll never look on her; mild, or come not</LINE>
<LINE>near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good</LINE>
<LINE>discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair shall</LINE>
<LINE>be of what colour it please God. Ha! the prince and</LINE>
<LINE>Monsieur Love! I will hide me in the arbour.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Withdraws</STAGEDIR>
<STAGEDIR>Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, and LEONATO</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Come, shall we hear this music?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yea, my good lord. How still the evening is,</LINE>
<LINE>As hush'd on purpose to grace harmony!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>See you where Benedick hath hid himself?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O, very well, my lord: the music ended,</LINE>
<LINE>We'll fit the kid-fox with a pennyworth.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Enter BALTHASAR with Music</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Come, Balthasar, we'll hear that song again.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BALTHASAR</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O, good my lord, tax not so bad a voice</LINE>
<LINE>To slander music any more than once.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>It is the witness still of excellency</LINE>
<LINE>To put a strange face on his own perfection.</LINE>
<LINE>I pray thee, sing, and let me woo no more.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BALTHASAR</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Because you talk of wooing, I will sing;</LINE>
<LINE>Since many a wooer doth commence his suit</LINE>
<LINE>To her he thinks not worthy, yet he wooes,</LINE>
<LINE>Yet will he swear he loves.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Now, pray thee, come;</LINE>
<LINE>Or, if thou wilt hold longer argument,</LINE>
<LINE>Do it in notes.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BALTHASAR</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Note this before my notes;</LINE>
<LINE>There's not a note of mine that's worth the noting.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Why, these are very crotchets that he speaks;</LINE>
<LINE>Note, notes, forsooth, and nothing.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Air</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Now, divine air! now is his soul ravished! Is it</LINE>
<LINE>not strange that sheeps' guts should hale souls out</LINE>
<LINE>of men's bodies? Well, a horn for my money, when</LINE>
<LINE>all's done.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>The Song</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BALTHASAR</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,</LINE>
<LINE>Men were deceivers ever,</LINE>
<LINE>One foot in sea and one on shore,</LINE>
<LINE>To one thing constant never:</LINE>
<LINE>Then sigh not so, but let them go,</LINE>
<LINE>And be you blithe and bonny,</LINE>
<LINE>Converting all your sounds of woe</LINE>
<LINE>Into Hey nonny, nonny.</LINE>
<LINE>Sing no more ditties, sing no moe,</LINE>
<LINE>Of dumps so dull and heavy;</LINE>
<LINE>The fraud of men was ever so,</LINE>
<LINE>Since summer first was leafy:</LINE>
<LINE>Then sigh not so, &amp;c.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>By my troth, a good song.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BALTHASAR</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And an ill singer, my lord.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Ha, no, no, faith; thou singest well enough for a shift.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>An he had been a dog that should have howled thus,</LINE>
<LINE>they would have hanged him: and I pray God his bad</LINE>
<LINE>voice bode no mischief. I had as lief have heard the</LINE>
<LINE>night-raven, come what plague could have come after</LINE>
<LINE>it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yea, marry, dost thou hear, Balthasar? I pray thee,</LINE>
<LINE>get us some excellent music; for to-morrow night we</LINE>
<LINE>would have it at the Lady Hero's chamber-window.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BALTHASAR</SPEAKER>
<LINE>The best I can, my lord.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Do so: farewell.</LINE>
<STAGEDIR>Exit BALTHASAR</STAGEDIR>
<LINE>Come hither, Leonato. What was it you told me of</LINE>
<LINE>to-day, that your niece Beatrice was in love with</LINE>
<LINE>Signior Benedick?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O, ay: stalk on. stalk on; the fowl sits. I did</LINE>
<LINE>never think that lady would have loved any man.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No, nor I neither; but most wonderful that she</LINE>
<LINE>should so dote on Signior Benedick, whom she hath in</LINE>
<LINE>all outward behaviors seemed ever to abhor.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Is't possible? Sits the wind in that corner?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what to think</LINE>
<LINE>of it but that she loves him with an enraged</LINE>
<LINE>affection: it is past the infinite of thought.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>May be she doth but counterfeit.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Faith, like enough.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O God, counterfeit! There was never counterfeit of</LINE>
<LINE>passion came so near the life of passion as she</LINE>
<LINE>discovers it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Why, what effects of passion shows she?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Bait the hook well; this fish will bite.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What effects, my lord? She will sit you, you heard</LINE>
<LINE>my daughter tell you how.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>She did, indeed.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>How, how, pray you? You amaze me: I would have I</LINE>
<LINE>thought her spirit had been invincible against all</LINE>
<LINE>assaults of affection.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I would have sworn it had, my lord; especially</LINE>
<LINE>against Benedick.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I should think this a gull, but that the</LINE>
<LINE>white-bearded fellow speaks it: knavery cannot,</LINE>
<LINE>sure, hide himself in such reverence.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>He hath ta'en the infection: hold it up.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Hath she made her affection known to Benedick?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No; and swears she never will: that's her torment.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>'Tis true, indeed; so your daughter says: 'Shall</LINE>
<LINE>I,' says she, 'that have so oft encountered him</LINE>
<LINE>with scorn, write to him that I love him?'</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>This says she now when she is beginning to write to</LINE>
<LINE>him; for she'll be up twenty times a night, and</LINE>
<LINE>there will she sit in her smock till she have writ a</LINE>
<LINE>sheet of paper: my daughter tells us all.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Now you talk of a sheet of paper, I remember a</LINE>
<LINE>pretty jest your daughter told us of.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O, when she had writ it and was reading it over, she</LINE>
<LINE>found Benedick and Beatrice between the sheet?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>That.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O, she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence;</LINE>
<LINE>railed at herself, that she should be so immodest</LINE>
<LINE>to write to one that she knew would flout her; 'I</LINE>
<LINE>measure him,' says she, 'by my own spirit; for I</LINE>
<LINE>should flout him, if he writ to me; yea, though I</LINE>
<LINE>love him, I should.'</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Then down upon her knees she falls, weeps, sobs,</LINE>
<LINE>beats her heart, tears her hair, prays, curses; 'O</LINE>
<LINE>sweet Benedick! God give me patience!'</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>She doth indeed; my daughter says so: and the</LINE>
<LINE>ecstasy hath so much overborne her that my daughter</LINE>
<LINE>is sometime afeared she will do a desperate outrage</LINE>
<LINE>to herself: it is very true.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>It were good that Benedick knew of it by some</LINE>
<LINE>other, if she will not discover it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>To what end? He would make but a sport of it and</LINE>
<LINE>torment the poor lady worse.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>An he should, it were an alms to hang him. She's an</LINE>
<LINE>excellent sweet lady; and, out of all suspicion,</LINE>
<LINE>she is virtuous.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And she is exceeding wise.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>In every thing but in loving Benedick.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O, my lord, wisdom and blood combating in so tender</LINE>
<LINE>a body, we have ten proofs to one that blood hath</LINE>
<LINE>the victory. I am sorry for her, as I have just</LINE>
<LINE>cause, being her uncle and her guardian.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I would she had bestowed this dotage on me: I would</LINE>
<LINE>have daffed all other respects and made her half</LINE>
<LINE>myself. I pray you, tell Benedick of it, and hear</LINE>
<LINE>what a' will say.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Were it good, think you?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Hero thinks surely she will die; for she says she</LINE>
<LINE>will die, if he love her not, and she will die, ere</LINE>
<LINE>she make her love known, and she will die, if he woo</LINE>
<LINE>her, rather than she will bate one breath of her</LINE>
<LINE>accustomed crossness.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>She doth well: if she should make tender of her</LINE>
<LINE>love, 'tis very possible he'll scorn it; for the</LINE>
<LINE>man, as you know all, hath a contemptible spirit.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>He is a very proper man.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>He hath indeed a good outward happiness.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Before God! and, in my mind, very wise.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>He doth indeed show some sparks that are like wit.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And I take him to be valiant.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>As Hector, I assure you: and in the managing of</LINE>
<LINE>quarrels you may say he is wise; for either he</LINE>
<LINE>avoids them with great discretion, or undertakes</LINE>
<LINE>them with a most Christian-like fear.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If he do fear God, a' must necessarily keep peace:</LINE>
<LINE>if he break the peace, he ought to enter into a</LINE>
<LINE>quarrel with fear and trembling.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And so will he do; for the man doth fear God,</LINE>
<LINE>howsoever it seems not in him by some large jests</LINE>
<LINE>he will make. Well I am sorry for your niece. Shall</LINE>
<LINE>we go seek Benedick, and tell him of her love?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Never tell him, my lord: let her wear it out with</LINE>
<LINE>good counsel.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Nay, that's impossible: she may wear her heart out first.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Well, we will hear further of it by your daughter:</LINE>
<LINE>let it cool the while. I love Benedick well; and I</LINE>
<LINE>could wish he would modestly examine himself, to see</LINE>
<LINE>how much he is unworthy so good a lady.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>My lord, will you walk? dinner is ready.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If he do not dote on her upon this, I will never</LINE>
<LINE>trust my expectation.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Let there be the same net spread for her; and that</LINE>
<LINE>must your daughter and her gentlewomen carry. The</LINE>
<LINE>sport will be, when they hold one an opinion of</LINE>
<LINE>another's dotage, and no such matter: that's the</LINE>
<LINE>scene that I would see, which will be merely a</LINE>
<LINE>dumb-show. Let us send her to call him in to dinner.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exeunt DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, and LEONATO</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE><STAGEDIR>Coming forward</STAGEDIR> This can be no trick: the</LINE>
<LINE>conference was sadly borne. They have the truth of</LINE>
<LINE>this from Hero. They seem to pity the lady: it</LINE>
<LINE>seems her affections have their full bent. Love me!</LINE>
<LINE>why, it must be requited. I hear how I am censured:</LINE>
<LINE>they say I will bear myself proudly, if I perceive</LINE>
<LINE>the love come from her; they say too that she will</LINE>
<LINE>rather die than give any sign of affection. I did</LINE>
<LINE>never think to marry: I must not seem proud: happy</LINE>
<LINE>are they that hear their detractions and can put</LINE>
<LINE>them to mending. They say the lady is fair; 'tis a</LINE>
<LINE>truth, I can bear them witness; and virtuous; 'tis</LINE>
<LINE>so, I cannot reprove it; and wise, but for loving</LINE>
<LINE>me; by my troth, it is no addition to her wit, nor</LINE>
<LINE>no great argument of her folly, for I will be</LINE>
<LINE>horribly in love with her. I may chance have some</LINE>
<LINE>odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me,</LINE>
<LINE>because I have railed so long against marriage: but</LINE>
<LINE>doth not the appetite alter? a man loves the meat</LINE>
<LINE>in his youth that he cannot endure in his age.</LINE>
<LINE>Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of</LINE>
<LINE>the brain awe a man from the career of his humour?</LINE>
<LINE>No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would</LINE>
<LINE>die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I</LINE>
<LINE>were married. Here comes Beatrice. By this day!</LINE>
<LINE>she's a fair lady: I do spy some marks of love in</LINE>
<LINE>her.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Enter BEATRICE</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I took no more pains for those thanks than you take</LINE>
<LINE>pains to thank me: if it had been painful, I would</LINE>
<LINE>not have come.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You take pleasure then in the message?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yea, just so much as you may take upon a knife's</LINE>
<LINE>point and choke a daw withal. You have no stomach,</LINE>
<LINE>signior: fare you well.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exit</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Ha! 'Against my will I am sent to bid you come in</LINE>
<LINE>to dinner;' there's a double meaning in that 'I took</LINE>
<LINE>no more pains for those thanks than you took pains</LINE>
<LINE>to thank me.' that's as much as to say, Any pains</LINE>
<LINE>that I take for you is as easy as thanks. If I do</LINE>
<LINE>not take pity of her, I am a villain; if I do not</LINE>
<LINE>love her, I am a Jew. I will go get her picture.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exit</STAGEDIR>
</SCENE>
</ACT>
<ACT><TITLE>ACT III</TITLE>
<SCENE><TITLE>SCENE I. LEONATO'S garden.</TITLE>
<STAGEDIR>Enter HERO, MARGARET, and URSULA</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Good Margaret, run thee to the parlor;</LINE>
<LINE>There shalt thou find my cousin Beatrice</LINE>
<LINE>Proposing with the prince and Claudio:</LINE>
<LINE>Whisper her ear and tell her, I and Ursula</LINE>
<LINE>Walk in the orchard and our whole discourse</LINE>
<LINE>Is all of her; say that thou overheard'st us;</LINE>
<LINE>And bid her steal into the pleached bower,</LINE>
<LINE>Where honeysuckles, ripen'd by the sun,</LINE>
<LINE>Forbid the sun to enter, like favourites,</LINE>
<LINE>Made proud by princes, that advance their pride</LINE>
<LINE>Against that power that bred it: there will she hide her,</LINE>
<LINE>To listen our purpose. This is thy office;</LINE>
<LINE>Bear thee well in it and leave us alone.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I'll make her come, I warrant you, presently.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exit</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Now, Ursula, when Beatrice doth come,</LINE>
<LINE>As we do trace this alley up and down,</LINE>
<LINE>Our talk must only be of Benedick.</LINE>
<LINE>When I do name him, let it be thy part</LINE>
<LINE>To praise him more than ever man did merit:</LINE>
<LINE>My talk to thee must be how Benedick</LINE>
<LINE>Is sick in love with Beatrice. Of this matter</LINE>
<LINE>Is little Cupid's crafty arrow made,</LINE>
<LINE>That only wounds by hearsay.</LINE>
<STAGEDIR>Enter BEATRICE, behind</STAGEDIR>
<LINE>Now begin;</LINE>
<LINE>For look where Beatrice, like a lapwing, runs</LINE>
<LINE>Close by the ground, to hear our conference.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>The pleasant'st angling is to see the fish</LINE>
<LINE>Cut with her golden oars the silver stream,</LINE>
<LINE>And greedily devour the treacherous bait:</LINE>
<LINE>So angle we for Beatrice; who even now</LINE>
<LINE>Is couched in the woodbine coverture.</LINE>
<LINE>Fear you not my part of the dialogue.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Then go we near her, that her ear lose nothing</LINE>
<LINE>Of the false sweet bait that we lay for it.</LINE>
<STAGEDIR>Approaching the bower</STAGEDIR>
<LINE>No, truly, Ursula, she is too disdainful;</LINE>
<LINE>I know her spirits are as coy and wild</LINE>
<LINE>As haggerds of the rock.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>But are you sure</LINE>
<LINE>That Benedick loves Beatrice so entirely?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>So says the prince and my new-trothed lord.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And did they bid you tell her of it, madam?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>They did entreat me to acquaint her of it;</LINE>
<LINE>But I persuaded them, if they loved Benedick,</LINE>
<LINE>To wish him wrestle with affection,</LINE>
<LINE>And never to let Beatrice know of it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Why did you so? Doth not the gentleman</LINE>
<LINE>Deserve as full as fortunate a bed</LINE>
<LINE>As ever Beatrice shall couch upon?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O god of love! I know he doth deserve</LINE>
<LINE>As much as may be yielded to a man:</LINE>
<LINE>But Nature never framed a woman's heart</LINE>
<LINE>Of prouder stuff than that of Beatrice;</LINE>
<LINE>Disdain and scorn ride sparkling in her eyes,</LINE>
<LINE>Misprising what they look on, and her wit</LINE>
<LINE>Values itself so highly that to her</LINE>
<LINE>All matter else seems weak: she cannot love,</LINE>
<LINE>Nor take no shape nor project of affection,</LINE>
<LINE>She is so self-endeared.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Sure, I think so;</LINE>
<LINE>And therefore certainly it were not good</LINE>
<LINE>She knew his love, lest she make sport at it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Why, you speak truth. I never yet saw man,</LINE>
<LINE>How wise, how noble, young, how rarely featured,</LINE>
<LINE>But she would spell him backward: if fair-faced,</LINE>
<LINE>She would swear the gentleman should be her sister;</LINE>
<LINE>If black, why, Nature, drawing of an antique,</LINE>
<LINE>Made a foul blot; if tall, a lance ill-headed;</LINE>
<LINE>If low, an agate very vilely cut;</LINE>
<LINE>If speaking, why, a vane blown with all winds;</LINE>
<LINE>If silent, why, a block moved with none.</LINE>
<LINE>So turns she every man the wrong side out</LINE>
<LINE>And never gives to truth and virtue that</LINE>
<LINE>Which simpleness and merit purchaseth.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Sure, sure, such carping is not commendable.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No, not to be so odd and from all fashions</LINE>
<LINE>As Beatrice is, cannot be commendable:</LINE>
<LINE>But who dare tell her so? If I should speak,</LINE>
<LINE>She would mock me into air; O, she would laugh me</LINE>
<LINE>Out of myself, press me to death with wit.</LINE>
<LINE>Therefore let Benedick, like cover'd fire,</LINE>
<LINE>Consume away in sighs, waste inwardly:</LINE>
<LINE>It were a better death than die with mocks,</LINE>
<LINE>Which is as bad as die with tickling.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yet tell her of it: hear what she will say.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No; rather I will go to Benedick</LINE>
<LINE>And counsel him to fight against his passion.</LINE>
<LINE>And, truly, I'll devise some honest slanders</LINE>
<LINE>To stain my cousin with: one doth not know</LINE>
<LINE>How much an ill word may empoison liking.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O, do not do your cousin such a wrong.</LINE>
<LINE>She cannot be so much without true judgment--</LINE>
<LINE>Having so swift and excellent a wit</LINE>
<LINE>As she is prized to have--as to refuse</LINE>
<LINE>So rare a gentleman as Signior Benedick.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>He is the only man of Italy.</LINE>
<LINE>Always excepted my dear Claudio.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I pray you, be not angry with me, madam,</LINE>
<LINE>Speaking my fancy: Signior Benedick,</LINE>
<LINE>For shape, for bearing, argument and valour,</LINE>
<LINE>Goes foremost in report through Italy.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Indeed, he hath an excellent good name.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>His excellence did earn it, ere he had it.</LINE>
<LINE>When are you married, madam?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Why, every day, to-morrow. Come, go in:</LINE>
<LINE>I'll show thee some attires, and have thy counsel</LINE>
<LINE>Which is the best to furnish me to-morrow.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>She's limed, I warrant you: we have caught her, madam.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If it proves so, then loving goes by haps:</LINE>
<LINE>Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exeunt HERO and URSULA</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE><STAGEDIR>Coming forward</STAGEDIR></LINE>
<LINE>What fire is in mine ears? Can this be true?</LINE>
<LINE>Stand I condemn'd for pride and scorn so much?</LINE>
<LINE>Contempt, farewell! and maiden pride, adieu!</LINE>
<LINE>No glory lives behind the back of such.</LINE>
<LINE>And, Benedick, love on; I will requite thee,</LINE>
<LINE>Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand:</LINE>
<LINE>If thou dost love, my kindness shall incite thee</LINE>
<LINE>To bind our loves up in a holy band;</LINE>
<LINE>For others say thou dost deserve, and I</LINE>
<LINE>Believe it better than reportingly.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exit</STAGEDIR>
</SCENE>
<SCENE><TITLE>SCENE II. A room in LEONATO'S house</TITLE>
<STAGEDIR>Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, and LEONATO</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and</LINE>
<LINE>then go I toward Arragon.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I'll bring you thither, my lord, if you'll</LINE>
<LINE>vouchsafe me.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss</LINE>
<LINE>of your marriage as to show a child his new coat</LINE>
<LINE>and forbid him to wear it. I will only be bold</LINE>
<LINE>with Benedick for his company; for, from the crown</LINE>
<LINE>of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all</LINE>
<LINE>mirth: he hath twice or thrice cut Cupid's</LINE>
<LINE>bow-string and the little hangman dare not shoot at</LINE>
<LINE>him; he hath a heart as sound as a bell and his</LINE>
<LINE>tongue is the clapper, for what his heart thinks his</LINE>
<LINE>tongue speaks.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Gallants, I am not as I have been.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>So say I methinks you are sadder.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I hope he be in love.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Hang him, truant! there's no true drop of blood in</LINE>
<LINE>him, to be truly touched with love: if he be sad,</LINE>
<LINE>he wants money.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I have the toothache.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Draw it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Hang it!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What! sigh for the toothache?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Where is but a humour or a worm.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Well, every one can master a grief but he that has</LINE>
<LINE>it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yet say I, he is in love.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be</LINE>
<LINE>a fancy that he hath to strange disguises; as, to be</LINE>
<LINE>a Dutchman today, a Frenchman to-morrow, or in the</LINE>
<LINE>shape of two countries at once, as, a German from</LINE>
<LINE>the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from</LINE>
<LINE>the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy</LINE>
<LINE>to this foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no</LINE>
<LINE>fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If he be not in love with some woman, there is no</LINE>
<LINE>believing old signs: a' brushes his hat o'</LINE>
<LINE>mornings; what should that bode?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Hath any man seen him at the barber's?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No, but the barber's man hath been seen with him,</LINE>
<LINE>and the old ornament of his cheek hath already</LINE>
<LINE>stuffed tennis-balls.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Indeed, he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Nay, a' rubs himself with civet: can you smell him</LINE>
<LINE>out by that?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>That's as much as to say, the sweet youth's in love.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>The greatest note of it is his melancholy.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And when was he wont to wash his face?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear</LINE>
<LINE>what they say of him.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Nay, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into</LINE>
<LINE>a lute-string and now governed by stops.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him: conclude,</LINE>
<LINE>conclude he is in love.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Nay, but I know who loves him.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yes, and his ill conditions; and, in despite of</LINE>
<LINE>all, dies for him.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>She shall be buried with her face upwards.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BENEDICK</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yet is this no charm for the toothache. Old</LINE>
<LINE>signior, walk aside with me: I have studied eight</LINE>
<LINE>or nine wise words to speak to you, which these</LINE>
<LINE>hobby-horses must not hear.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exeunt BENEDICK and LEONATO</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>For my life, to break with him about Beatrice.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>'Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this</LINE>
<LINE>played their parts with Beatrice; and then the two</LINE>
<LINE>bears will not bite one another when they meet.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Enter DON JOHN</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>My lord and brother, God save you!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Good den, brother.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If your leisure served, I would speak with you.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>In private?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If it please you: yet Count Claudio may hear; for</LINE>
<LINE>what I would speak of concerns him.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What's the matter?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE><STAGEDIR>To CLAUDIO</STAGEDIR> Means your lordship to be married</LINE>
<LINE>to-morrow?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You know he does.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I know not that, when he knows what I know.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You may think I love you not: let that appear</LINE>
<LINE>hereafter, and aim better at me by that I now will</LINE>
<LINE>manifest. For my brother, I think he holds you</LINE>
<LINE>well, and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect</LINE>
<LINE>your ensuing marriage;--surely suit ill spent and</LINE>
<LINE>labour ill bestowed.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Why, what's the matter?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I came hither to tell you; and, circumstances</LINE>
<LINE>shortened, for she has been too long a talking of,</LINE>
<LINE>the lady is disloyal.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Who, Hero?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Even she; Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every man's Hero:</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Disloyal?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>The word is too good to paint out her wickedness; I</LINE>
<LINE>could say she were worse: think you of a worse</LINE>
<LINE>title, and I will fit her to it. Wonder not till</LINE>
<LINE>further warrant: go but with me to-night, you shall</LINE>
<LINE>see her chamber-window entered, even the night</LINE>
<LINE>before her wedding-day: if you love her then,</LINE>
<LINE>to-morrow wed her; but it would better fit your honour</LINE>
<LINE>to change your mind.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>May this be so?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I will not think it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If you dare not trust that you see, confess not</LINE>
<LINE>that you know: if you will follow me, I will show</LINE>
<LINE>you enough; and when you have seen more and heard</LINE>
<LINE>more, proceed accordingly.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If I see any thing to-night why I should not marry</LINE>
<LINE>her to-morrow in the congregation, where I should</LINE>
<LINE>wed, there will I shame her.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And, as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join</LINE>
<LINE>with thee to disgrace her.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I will disparage her no farther till you are my</LINE>
<LINE>witnesses: bear it coldly but till midnight, and</LINE>
<LINE>let the issue show itself.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON PEDRO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O day untowardly turned!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CLAUDIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O mischief strangely thwarting!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DON JOHN</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O plague right well prevented! so will you say when</LINE>
<LINE>you have seen the sequel.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exeunt</STAGEDIR>
</SCENE>
<SCENE><TITLE>SCENE III. A street.</TITLE>
<STAGEDIR>Enter DOGBERRY and VERGES with the Watch</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Are you good men and true?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>VERGES</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer</LINE>
<LINE>salvation, body and soul.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if</LINE>
<LINE>they should have any allegiance in them, being</LINE>
<LINE>chosen for the prince's watch.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>VERGES</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Well, give them their charge, neighbour Dogberry.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>First, who think you the most desertless man to be</LINE>
<LINE>constable?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>First Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Hugh Otecake, sir, or George Seacole; for they can</LINE>
<LINE>write and read.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Come hither, neighbour Seacole. God hath blessed</LINE>
<LINE>you with a good name: to be a well-favoured man is</LINE>
<LINE>the gift of fortune; but to write and read comes by nature.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Second Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Both which, master constable,--</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You have: I knew it would be your answer. Well,</LINE>
<LINE>for your favour, sir, why, give God thanks, and make</LINE>
<LINE>no boast of it; and for your writing and reading,</LINE>
<LINE>let that appear when there is no need of such</LINE>
<LINE>vanity. You are thought here to be the most</LINE>
<LINE>senseless and fit man for the constable of the</LINE>
<LINE>watch; therefore bear you the lantern. This is your</LINE>
<LINE>charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are</LINE>
<LINE>to bid any man stand, in the prince's name.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Second Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE>How if a' will not stand?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and</LINE>
<LINE>presently call the rest of the watch together and</LINE>
<LINE>thank God you are rid of a knave.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>VERGES</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none</LINE>
<LINE>of the prince's subjects.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>True, and they are to meddle with none but the</LINE>
<LINE>prince's subjects. You shall also make no noise in</LINE>
<LINE>the streets; for, for the watch to babble and to</LINE>
<LINE>talk is most tolerable and not to be endured.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE>We will rather sleep than talk: we know what</LINE>
<LINE>belongs to a watch.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet</LINE>
<LINE>watchman; for I cannot see how sleeping should</LINE>
<LINE>offend: only, have a care that your bills be not</LINE>
<LINE>stolen. Well, you are to call at all the</LINE>
<LINE>ale-houses, and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE>How if they will not?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Why, then, let them alone till they are sober: if</LINE>
<LINE>they make you not then the better answer, you may</LINE>
<LINE>say they are not the men you took them for.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Well, sir.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by virtue</LINE>
<LINE>of your office, to be no true man; and, for such</LINE>
<LINE>kind of men, the less you meddle or make with them,</LINE>
<LINE>why the more is for your honesty.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay</LINE>
<LINE>hands on him?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Truly, by your office, you may; but I think they</LINE>
<LINE>that touch pitch will be defiled: the most peaceable</LINE>
<LINE>way for you, if you do take a thief, is to let him</LINE>
<LINE>show himself what he is and steal out of your company.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>VERGES</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You have been always called a merciful man, partner.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more</LINE>
<LINE>a man who hath any honesty in him.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>VERGES</SPEAKER>
<LINE>If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call</LINE>
<LINE>to the nurse and bid her still it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE>How if the nurse be asleep and will not hear us?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Why, then, depart in peace, and let the child wake</LINE>
<LINE>her with crying; for the ewe that will not hear her</LINE>
<LINE>lamb when it baes will never answer a calf when he bleats.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>VERGES</SPEAKER>
<LINE>'Tis very true.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>This is the end of the charge:--you, constable, are</LINE>
<LINE>to present the prince's own person: if you meet the</LINE>
<LINE>prince in the night, you may stay him.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>VERGES</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Nay, by'r our lady, that I think a' cannot.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Five shillings to one on't, with any man that knows</LINE>
<LINE>the statutes, he may stay him: marry, not without</LINE>
<LINE>the prince be willing; for, indeed, the watch ought</LINE>
<LINE>to offend no man; and it is an offence to stay a</LINE>
<LINE>man against his will.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>VERGES</SPEAKER>
<LINE>By'r lady, I think it be so.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Ha, ha, ha! Well, masters, good night: an there be</LINE>
<LINE>any matter of weight chances, call up me: keep your</LINE>
<LINE>fellows' counsels and your own; and good night.</LINE>
<LINE>Come, neighbour.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Well, masters, we hear our charge: let us go sit here</LINE>
<LINE>upon the church-bench till two, and then all to bed.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>One word more, honest neighbours. I pray you watch</LINE>
<LINE>about Signior Leonato's door; for the wedding being</LINE>
<LINE>there to-morrow, there is a great coil to-night.</LINE>
<LINE>Adieu: be vigitant, I beseech you.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exeunt DOGBERRY and VERGES</STAGEDIR>
<STAGEDIR>Enter BORACHIO and CONRADE</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What Conrade!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE><STAGEDIR>Aside</STAGEDIR> Peace! stir not.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Conrade, I say!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Here, man; I am at thy elbow.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Mass, and my elbow itched; I thought there would a</LINE>
<LINE>scab follow.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I will owe thee an answer for that: and now forward</LINE>
<LINE>with thy tale.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Stand thee close, then, under this pent-house, for</LINE>
<LINE>it drizzles rain; and I will, like a true drunkard,</LINE>
<LINE>utter all to thee.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE><STAGEDIR>Aside</STAGEDIR> Some treason, masters: yet stand close.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Therefore know I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Is it possible that any villany should be so dear?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Thou shouldst rather ask if it were possible any</LINE>
<LINE>villany should be so rich; for when rich villains</LINE>
<LINE>have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what</LINE>
<LINE>price they will.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I wonder at it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>That shows thou art unconfirmed. Thou knowest that</LINE>
<LINE>the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak, is</LINE>
<LINE>nothing to a man.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yes, it is apparel.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I mean, the fashion.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yes, the fashion is the fashion.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Tush! I may as well say the fool's the fool. But</LINE>
<LINE>seest thou not what a deformed thief this fashion</LINE>
<LINE>is?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE><STAGEDIR>Aside</STAGEDIR> I know that Deformed; a' has been a vile</LINE>
<LINE>thief this seven year; a' goes up and down like a</LINE>
<LINE>gentleman: I remember his name.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Didst thou not hear somebody?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No; 'twas the vane on the house.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this</LINE>
<LINE>fashion is? how giddily a' turns about all the hot</LINE>
<LINE>bloods between fourteen and five-and-thirty?</LINE>
<LINE>sometimes fashioning them like Pharaoh's soldiers</LINE>
<LINE>in the reeky painting, sometime like god Bel's</LINE>
<LINE>priests in the old church-window, sometime like the</LINE>
<LINE>shaven Hercules in the smirched worm-eaten tapestry,</LINE>
<LINE>where his codpiece seems as massy as his club?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>All this I see; and I see that the fashion wears</LINE>
<LINE>out more apparel than the man. But art not thou</LINE>
<LINE>thyself giddy with the fashion too, that thou hast</LINE>
<LINE>shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Not so, neither: but know that I have to-night</LINE>
<LINE>wooed Margaret, the Lady Hero's gentlewoman, by the</LINE>
<LINE>name of Hero: she leans me out at her mistress'</LINE>
<LINE>chamber-window, bids me a thousand times good</LINE>
<LINE>night,--I tell this tale vilely:--I should first</LINE>
<LINE>tell thee how the prince, Claudio and my master,</LINE>
<LINE>planted and placed and possessed by my master Don</LINE>
<LINE>John, saw afar off in the orchard this amiable encounter.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And thought they Margaret was Hero?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Two of them did, the prince and Claudio; but the</LINE>
<LINE>devil my master knew she was Margaret; and partly</LINE>
<LINE>by his oaths, which first possessed them, partly by</LINE>
<LINE>the dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly</LINE>
<LINE>by my villany, which did confirm any slander that</LINE>
<LINE>Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged; swore</LINE>
<LINE>he would meet her, as he was appointed, next morning</LINE>
<LINE>at the temple, and there, before the whole</LINE>
<LINE>congregation, shame her with what he saw o'er night</LINE>
<LINE>and send her home again without a husband.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>First Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE>We charge you, in the prince's name, stand!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Second Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Call up the right master constable. We have here</LINE>
<LINE>recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that</LINE>
<LINE>ever was known in the commonwealth.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>First Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And one Deformed is one of them: I know him; a'</LINE>
<LINE>wears a lock.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Masters, masters,--</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>Second Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE>You'll be made bring Deformed forth, I warrant you.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Masters,--</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>First Watchman</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Never speak: we charge you let us obey you to go with us.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BORACHIO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>We are like to prove a goodly commodity, being taken</LINE>
<LINE>up of these men's bills.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>CONRADE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>A commodity in question, I warrant you. Come, we'll obey you.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exeunt</STAGEDIR>
</SCENE>
<SCENE><TITLE>SCENE IV. HERO's apartment.</TITLE>
<STAGEDIR>Enter HERO, MARGARET, and URSULA</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Good Ursula, wake my cousin Beatrice, and desire</LINE>
<LINE>her to rise.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I will, lady.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And bid her come hither.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Well.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exit</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Troth, I think your other rabato were better.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>No, pray thee, good Meg, I'll wear this.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>By my troth, 's not so good; and I warrant your</LINE>
<LINE>cousin will say so.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>My cousin's a fool, and thou art another: I'll wear</LINE>
<LINE>none but this.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I like the new tire within excellently, if the hair</LINE>
<LINE>were a thought browner; and your gown's a most rare</LINE>
<LINE>fashion, i' faith. I saw the Duchess of Milan's</LINE>
<LINE>gown that they praise so.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O, that exceeds, they say.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>By my troth, 's but a night-gown in respect of</LINE>
<LINE>yours: cloth o' gold, and cuts, and laced with</LINE>
<LINE>silver, set with pearls, down sleeves, side sleeves,</LINE>
<LINE>and skirts, round underborne with a bluish tinsel:</LINE>
<LINE>but for a fine, quaint, graceful and excellent</LINE>
<LINE>fashion, yours is worth ten on 't.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>God give me joy to wear it! for my heart is</LINE>
<LINE>exceeding heavy.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>'Twill be heavier soon by the weight of a man.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Fie upon thee! art not ashamed?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Of what, lady? of speaking honourably? Is not</LINE>
<LINE>marriage honourable in a beggar? Is not your lord</LINE>
<LINE>honourable without marriage? I think you would have</LINE>
<LINE>me say, 'saving your reverence, a husband:' and bad</LINE>
<LINE>thinking do not wrest true speaking, I'll offend</LINE>
<LINE>nobody: is there any harm in 'the heavier for a</LINE>
<LINE>husband'? None, I think, and it be the right husband</LINE>
<LINE>and the right wife; otherwise 'tis light, and not</LINE>
<LINE>heavy: ask my Lady Beatrice else; here she comes.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Enter BEATRICE</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Good morrow, coz.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Good morrow, sweet Hero.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Why how now? do you speak in the sick tune?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I am out of all other tune, methinks.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Clap's into 'Light o' love;' that goes without a</LINE>
<LINE>burden: do you sing it, and I'll dance it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Ye light o' love, with your heels! then, if your</LINE>
<LINE>husband have stables enough, you'll see he shall</LINE>
<LINE>lack no barns.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O illegitimate construction! I scorn that with my heels.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>'Tis almost five o'clock, cousin; tis time you were</LINE>
<LINE>ready. By my troth, I am exceeding ill: heigh-ho!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>For a hawk, a horse, or a husband?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>For the letter that begins them all, H.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Well, and you be not turned Turk, there's no more</LINE>
<LINE>sailing by the star.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What means the fool, trow?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Nothing I; but God send every one their heart's desire!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>These gloves the count sent me; they are an</LINE>
<LINE>excellent perfume.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I am stuffed, cousin; I cannot smell.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>A maid, and stuffed! there's goodly catching of cold.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>O, God help me! God help me! how long have you</LINE>
<LINE>professed apprehension?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Even since you left it. Doth not my wit become me rarely?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>It is not seen enough, you should wear it in your</LINE>
<LINE>cap. By my troth, I am sick.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Get you some of this distilled Carduus Benedictus,</LINE>
<LINE>and lay it to your heart: it is the only thing for a qualm.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>There thou prickest her with a thistle.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Benedictus! why Benedictus? you have some moral in</LINE>
<LINE>this Benedictus.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Moral! no, by my troth, I have no moral meaning; I</LINE>
<LINE>meant, plain holy-thistle. You may think perchance</LINE>
<LINE>that I think you are in love: nay, by'r lady, I am</LINE>
<LINE>not such a fool to think what I list, nor I list</LINE>
<LINE>not to think what I can, nor indeed I cannot think,</LINE>
<LINE>if I would think my heart out of thinking, that you</LINE>
<LINE>are in love or that you will be in love or that you</LINE>
<LINE>can be in love. Yet Benedick was such another, and</LINE>
<LINE>now is he become a man: he swore he would never</LINE>
<LINE>marry, and yet now, in despite of his heart, he eats</LINE>
<LINE>his meat without grudging: and how you may be</LINE>
<LINE>converted I know not, but methinks you look with</LINE>
<LINE>your eyes as other women do.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>BEATRICE</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What pace is this that thy tongue keeps?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>MARGARET</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Not a false gallop.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Re-enter URSULA</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>URSULA</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Madam, withdraw: the prince, the count, Signior</LINE>
<LINE>Benedick, Don John, and all the gallants of the</LINE>
<LINE>town, are come to fetch you to church.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>HERO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Help to dress me, good coz, good Meg, good Ursula.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Exeunt</STAGEDIR>
</SCENE>
<SCENE><TITLE>SCENE V. Another room in LEONATO'S house.</TITLE>
<STAGEDIR>Enter LEONATO, with DOGBERRY and VERGES</STAGEDIR>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What would you with me, honest neighbour?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Marry, sir, I would have some confidence with you</LINE>
<LINE>that decerns you nearly.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Brief, I pray you; for you see it is a busy time with me.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Marry, this it is, sir.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>VERGES</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yes, in truth it is, sir.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>What is it, my good friends?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the</LINE>
<LINE>matter: an old man, sir, and his wits are not so</LINE>
<LINE>blunt as, God help, I would desire they were; but,</LINE>
<LINE>in faith, honest as the skin between his brows.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>VERGES</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yes, I thank God I am as honest as any man living</LINE>
<LINE>that is an old man and no honester than I.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Comparisons are odorous: palabras, neighbour Verges.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Neighbours, you are tedious.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the</LINE>
<LINE>poor duke's officers; but truly, for mine own part,</LINE>
<LINE>if I were as tedious as a king, I could find it in</LINE>
<LINE>my heart to bestow it all of your worship.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>All thy tediousness on me, ah?</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Yea, an 'twere a thousand pound more than 'tis; for</LINE>
<LINE>I hear as good exclamation on your worship as of any</LINE>
<LINE>man in the city; and though I be but a poor man, I</LINE>
<LINE>am glad to hear it.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>VERGES</SPEAKER>
<LINE>And so am I.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I would fain know what you have to say.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>VERGES</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Marry, sir, our watch to-night, excepting your</LINE>
<LINE>worship's presence, ha' ta'en a couple of as arrant</LINE>
<LINE>knaves as any in Messina.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>A good old man, sir; he will be talking: as they</LINE>
<LINE>say, when the age is in, the wit is out: God help</LINE>
<LINE>us! it is a world to see. Well said, i' faith,</LINE>
<LINE>neighbour Verges: well, God's a good man; an two men</LINE>
<LINE>ride of a horse, one must ride behind. An honest</LINE>
<LINE>soul, i' faith, sir; by my troth he is, as ever</LINE>
<LINE>broke bread; but God is to be worshipped; all men</LINE>
<LINE>are not alike; alas, good neighbour!</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Gifts that God gives.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>I must leave you.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>One word, sir: our watch, sir, have indeed</LINE>
<LINE>comprehended two aspicious persons, and we would</LINE>
<LINE>have them this morning examined before your worship.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Take their examination yourself and bring it me: I</LINE>
<LINE>am now in great haste, as it may appear unto you.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>DOGBERRY</SPEAKER>
<LINE>It shall be suffigance.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<SPEECH>
<SPEAKER>LEONATO</SPEAKER>
<LINE>Drink some wine ere you go: fare you well.</LINE>
</SPEECH>
<STAGEDIR>Enter a Messenger</STAGEDIR>