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linkedin-recruiter-email

A recruiter sent me a clever message written in code. I fixed it.

You can check out the working app here: https://riebschlager.github.io/linkedin-recruiter-email/

Here is the email I was sent, unedited but anonymized.

Document.respondtomessage.visible=true;

Chris,

While (heck_yes != “no”) {
While (heck_yes != “no”) {
If (you_desire == “YES”) {
my_job_to_be = “Challenging, where I get to come into work and be able to use my creative side to develop new applications and break down an applications and make it better.”;
Document.write (“Yes, [recruiter's name], Contact me because I desire this”);
} else if (you_desire==”right on!”) {
My_job_to_be=”Be challenged to bring your creative skills in, to be part of the solutions to complex problems and be valued.”;
Document.write (“Yes, [recruiter's name], Contact me because I desire this”);
} else if (you_desire == “you_had_me_at_hello”) {
My_job_to_be=”Where I want to wake up every day wanting to go to work, love the people I work with, and feel compensated for my worth.”;
Document.write (“Yes, [recruiter's name], Contact me because I desire this”);
} else if (you_desire == “now you’re just toying with me [recruiter's name]!”) {
My_job_to_be=”Able to keep learning new technologies and putting them to good use while I do all the above.”;
Document.write (“Yes, [recruiter's name], you’fe killing me! Contact me because I desire this”);
} else {
Document.write (“No [recruiter's name], I want none of these things and want to be stagnant with my same old job, and to be phased out of new opportunities.”);
//Staying on top of your industry is necessary. Partner with and actual IT guy not a recruiter that just cares about money and shoving you through a square hole.
}
}

[recruiter's name]
[recruiter's contact info]

There are several glaring issues with this code. First off, it's a bit difficult to call out which language the recruiter was attempting to use. The capital While and Ifs threw me for a loop. But the Document.write [sic] made me think it was supposed to be JavaScript.

The lack of indentation made my eyes bleed. I mean, actually bleed. It was weird!

In this repo, you'll find a perfectly passable web application that accomplishes what I feel this recruiter set out to do. It's clean, extensible and has zero dependencies. HOW HOT IS THAT?

So let's fix this shit.

While (heck_yes != “no”) {
While (heck_yes != “no”) {

Ok. I'm not sure why we're doing two nested while loops based on the same condition, but I'm an open-minded guy. I'll roll with it. But I can't abide the snake case, lack of strict comparison and the educated quotes. (Which were no doubt an artifact of composing this code in Microsoft Outlook). I see your game, Recruiter.

If (you_desire == “YES”) {

Again with the snake case. What is this? Python? Are you Python-izing your JavaScript? Is this crazyland? Also, desire represents a true or false state, so it'd be better to use a boolean in this case. If you open it up to being a string, you're gonna have all kinds of desires lurking around and this code is going to become completely unmaintainable. I think you'd agree, that is not desireable.

my_job_to_be = “Challenging, where I get to come into work and be able to use my creative side to develop new applications and break down an applications and make it better.”;
Document.write (“Yes, [recruiter's name], Contact me because I desire this”);
} else if (you_desire==”right on!”) {
My_job_to_be=”Be challenged to bring your creative skills in, to be part of the solutions to complex problems and be valued.”;
Document.write (“Yes, [recruiter's name], Contact me because I desire this”);
} else if (you_desire == “you_had_me_at_hello”) {
My_job_to_be=”Where I want to wake up every day wanting to go to work, love the people I work with, and feel compensated for my worth.”;

Ok. Now you're just getting silly. You set a variable that was never declared and then decide a few lines later that my_job_to_be should be My_job_to_be. Let's set aside that you assign this variable and never use it. Let's also set aside that the snake case. Let's even ignore that the capitalization errors completely break whatever logic you were attempting to achieve. you_had_me_at_hello??? Come on, man. I mean... come on.

Also, document.write is a bad practice. Stop it.

Document.write (“Yes, [recruiter's name], you’fe killing me! Contact me because I desire this”);

Spelling error. Very unprofessional. See me after class.

//Staying on top of your industry is necessary. Partner with and actual IT guy not a recruiter that just cares about money and shoving you through a square hole.

Another spelling error. and should be an. I know it's just a comment, but this stuff matters. Also, you should consider that maybe I want to be shoved through a square hole. All night. YEAH! This code review just got SEXY!

Thanks for reading! Chris - the816.com

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