Permalink
Switch branches/tags
Nothing to show
Find file
Fetching contributors…
Cannot retrieve contributors at this time
37 lines (36 sloc) 2.44 KB
---
chuck_norris_facts: "Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.\r\n\
\r\n\
Most Popular Facts:\r\n\
\r\n\
- If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, \r\n Chuck Norris has more money than you.\r\n\
- There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. \r\n Chuck Norris is always in control.\r\n\
- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only \r\n recognizes the element of surprise.\r\n\
- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.\r\n\
\r\n\
- Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to \r\n a song.\r\n\
- Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.\r\n\
- Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.\r\n\
- Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what \r\n he calls everything around you.\r\n\
\r\n\
\r\n\
Chuck's Favorites (picked by the man himself)\r\n\
\r\n\
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his \r\n closet for Chuck Norris.\r\n\
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until \r\n he gets the information he wants.\r\n\
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures \r\n Chuck Norris has allowed to live.\r\n\
- Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same \r\n planet with Chuck Norris.\r\n\
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.\r\n\
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order \r\n are trademarked names for his left and right legs.\r\n\
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.\r\n\
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.\r\n\
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris\xE2\x80\x99 beard. There is only \r\n another fist.\r\n\
- When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn\xE2\x80\x99t lifting himself \r\n up, he\xE2\x80\x99s pushing the Earth down.\r\n\
- Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and \r\n punch himself in the back of the head.\r\n\
- Chuck Norris\xE2\x80\x99 hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal \r\n Flush.\r\n\
- Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.\r\n\
- Chuck Norris doesn\xE2\x80\x99t wear a watch, HE decides what time \r\n it is.\r\n\
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.\r\n\
- Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost\r\n\
- Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after \r\n watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.\r\n\
- Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, \r\n it is a Chucktatorship.\r\n"