My talk proposal...
Fact-based Programming talk proposal
Active mood, smaller version of profile pic
Added reference to databases
Removed extraneous 'thinking'
Reworked with problem descriptons
Use shorter sentences
Revised bio to make it less jingoistic
Thank you for your proposal. Unfortunately, due to the high number of excellent proposals, our panel has not been able to include this talk at this stage. Should this situation change, we will contact you.