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README.md

Dev Joke

Send me a PR if you know a good Dev Joke.


I am declaring a war. var war;


Knock knock

Unsynchronized block

Who's there?


“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

very... long... pause...

“Java.”


There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.


walks UDP package into bar A.


I would tell you a joke about UDP, but I don't know if you will get it.

Either way, I don't care.


A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"


A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.


#pisa-tower {
  font-style: italic;
}

Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?” The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”


1/3 of US bandwidth is used by Netflix.

the rest is used by rm -rf node_modules && npm install


Debugging: Being the detective in a crime movie where you are also the murderer.


Behind every good program is a frustrated programmer.


Being a Programmer and watching someone HACK a computer on a TV show is like a nurse and watching someone in the movie take blood with a carrot.


Programmer 1: We have a problem! Programmer 2: Let’s use RegEx! Programmer 1: Now we have two problems.


My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.


Trying to fix the problem I created when I tried to fix the problems I created when I tried to fix the problems I created when there was a problem


A programmer’s wife asks: “Would you go to the shop and pick up a loaf of bread? And if they have eggs, get a dozen.”

The programmer returns home with 12 loaves of bread.

“They had eggs.”


Conversation between layman and developer

  • layman: Hey! What's your address
  • developer: 173.168.15.10
  • layman: No man. Your local address
  • developer: 127.0.0.1
  • layman: I mean your physical address
  • developer: 29.01.38.62.31.58

A journalist asks a programmer

what makes the code bad ?

NO COMMENT


👦 : I like you, do you want to be my GF?

👧 : ... (30 seconds)

👦 : Why are you quiet?

👧 : ... (30 seconds). "504 Gateway Timeout"


Pointers in C:

"I know a guy who knows a guy... who knows another guy"


Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”

The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”

“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”


What do the new MacBook and a black hole have in common?

There's no Escape!


One man's constant is another man's variable


Android: where ProgressBars go around in circles and Spinners don’t spin


I showed my 12 year son aa floppy disk.... He said "ohh nice!! You have 3-D printed the save icon."


All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors


"Don't call me, I'll callback you. I promise!"


"How did your dog eat your coding assignment?" It took him a couple bytes


I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.


Python and PHP.

One of these two is one of the most popular choices of backend programming. The other one is PHP.


Dad: So what do you want to do when you grow up?

Kid: Engineering

Dad: Oh great, so you want to become an engineer?

Kid: No, I want 4 more years to decide what I want to do


A successful programmer is a PRO in GRAMMAR!


A journalist asked a programmer:-what makes code bad?

Programmer:- No comment


Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt, he goes bug killing.


Chuck Norris don’t need passwords to access your system, he simply types * and system gives him access.


Ford is creating a line of electric cars that use Tesla parts and software. They're calling it Edison.


I see this person every day who is huge by the way and yet everybody ignores that person. Do you wanna know who?

node underscore modules

Wrong middle name anyways!


Question - How did the developer announce her engagement?

this.engaged = true


Question - Why is the Javascript developer sad?

Because they do not Node how to Express themselves.


Question - How do you comfort a JavaScript bug?

You console it.


Question - Why couldn't the React component understand the joke?

It didn't get the context.


Question - Why did the JavaScript developer leave?

Because she didn't get arrays


Question - What is the object-oriented way to become wealthy?

Inheritance.


Question - Why do functions always break up?

Because they have constant arguments.


Question - Why do programmers get confused between Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25


Question - What is programmer's favourite hangout place?

Foo Bar


Question - What kind of doctors fixes broken websites?

A URLogist


Question - Why does no one likes SQLrillex?

He keeps dropping the database


Question - How did html get drunk?

It had too many


Question: Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards ?

Because they use a strongly typed language.


Question - Why did the developer die in the shower?

He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.


Question - Why do fish not like React?

Because it has Hooks 😂.


Question - How long does a loop last?

For a while


Question - What did the developer said to the repository?

FORK YOU!


Question: What do you call the security outside of a samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy


Question: Why does Python live on land?

Because it's above C-level


Question - How are computers and air conditioners similar?

They are both useless when you open windows


Question - Who is a programmer?

Answer: A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.


Question - Why do Java developers wear glasses?

Answer: Because they can't C# !


Question - How do functions break up?

Answer: They stop calling each other.


Question - 0 is false and 1 is true, right?

Answer: 1


Question: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: None – It’s a hardware problem


Question - Why do software engineers consistently stir up Halloween and Christmas?

Answer: Because Oct 31 = Dec 25


Question - Have you heard of the band with 1023 megabytes?

No, they just haven't had a gig yet.


Question - Why dod the software developer go broke?

He used up all of his cache.


Question - Why integration testing is required after unit testing?

umbrella


titanic


GoTo Hell


runtimeError


semicolon


betterThanSex


Warning


doctors


async


Python Space


Python 4


gitignore


Machine Learning


OOP


Broken Build


Cloud


Cookies


Distracted Dev


Eminem


Functions


Git commit


GraphQL


Love


Machine Learning


Marie Kondo


New Framework


Pointer


Redux and GraphQL


Santa


Tests


Undefined


While Do Loop


z-index


null


docker


java

(.images/webjava.jpg)


gitcommit


backend vs frontend


Father-Son-Web-Developer


Why did the c# developer fall asleep


Regular Expression


debugger


documentation


JavaScript Arrays


Using VS to open JSON


qa engineer walks into a bar


java


java


security


cluedont


java


debugging


error


intkaam


async


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