I'm going to call out someone on their nonsense
Why do you want to behave like that? Did something happen to make you upset?
It's what they have coming to them after all the bullshit they pulled on me.
If you are experiencing issues with a person, it's expected and reasonable to try to talk it out with them. However it's something that should be done calmly and constructively, otherwise it's just haranguing the person and causing conflict. As long as you can clearly state your issues with the other person without any hate or anger, it's acceptable to bring up those issues.
Nah, I'm going to check their phone for dirt since their mom is my buddy.
If you have an issue with this person, maybe you can talk to his mother about it and see if she can help. Since his mom is your buddy, getting her involved is a great way to rectify the issue. It's better than doing something harmful.