Do I really have to like surprise trips ?
Why don't you want a surprise trip?
Because I would rather plan it myself
I can understand wanting to just plan everything out instead.  It's totally fine not to enjoy being surprised, it makes me anxious too!  I hope you plan something fun.
I just hope it doesn't suck.
I'm sure you plan will work out so don't worry too much about it. Just focus on what you really would like to do on a trip. It's normal to feel some anxiety .