What if I buy a pack of 100 paper straws and immediately throw them in the garbage?
Why would you want to do something so wasteful?
I saw a video from a comedian doing this exact thing and I can't stop laughing!
Comedians are hilarious, buy that shouldn't persuade you to do wasteful things. Since you enjoy the video so much, just watch it again instead.
What's the big deal with doing it myself?
Paper comes from trees; trees are the Earth's lungs. Fewer trees means more CO2 in the atmosphere, which leads to an increasingly warmer climate. Unless you're OK with your children growing up in a desert, you should reconsider how you relate to Mother Earth.