I'm going to a christian university but I've become increasingly and secretly agnostic and I'm growing tired of keeping this secret
Do you think the same outcome would have happened if you went to public university?
I would have been a normal miserable atheist, at least I'll be sneaky agnostic
Repeatedly occurring doubts helps to freshen your faith, and ask questions that make you stronger in the process. If you have doubts about something, it's better to face them head on rather than bottle them up inside where they can do more damage.
So if I constantly question my faith and the existence of Jesus Christ, I'll somehow be closer to him?
It is possible. But you should be free to explore all the options you have.