I'm suspicious whenever I'm genuinely happy not suicidal
Why do you think it's weird for you to be happy?
It's not crazy. Sometimes a cry for help is a cry for help
It is good to be happy sometimes. If you still feel suicidal you should seek professional help to work though your issues.
That's fine and all but I want to be the star of my own life. I should be the reason for my happiness.
I'm glad that you are happy and I hope you continue to be. Having suicidal thoughts is normal for a teenager/young adult as you are going through a tumultuous time in your life, so try to express your emotions to your friends and family if you feel you need support.