I'm not as visibly sad as everyone else that my grandma is dying
Why does her death not upset you?
Do you know death is natural? It's not like everyone else in my family, I was very close with grandma(she also is the last living grandmother in my family)
Some people deal with their grief in different ways. It is okay if you grieve in your own way as well.
It sounds silly but I feel like I look too sexy to be grieving. But on the inside I am unhappy.
You shouldn't have to compare yourself to others. Have you tried talking with a grief counselor? You might feel better about how you react to loss, you arn't alone.