I didn't think I'd be alive this long and now I'm struggling with the weight of adulthood.
Oh wow. What do you find difficult about being an adult?
Well, I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
It's sad that you thought you'd be dead before reaching adulthood. Since you're having these struggles you should get some help.
From what? I live closer to Krispy Kreme than a doctor. And why am I supposed to get help but my mom doesn't.
You can't deflect your problems to your mom. Being an adult means owning up to the truth and doing something about it. Have you tried a therapist app?