I don't want to go to the same place as my wife for our vacation.
Why do you want to not go with your wife?
Her mom, who is a total bitch. I don't want to spend even five minutes with her.
It's expected to go on a vacation together with your spouse. Avoiding a place just because your mother-in-law will be there is not a proper excuse not to go. You should compromise with your wife and go with her to visit her mother as it would be part of a healthy relationship.
Compromise is for pussies and fags!
I think that you need to try to be more understanding. You should be willing to compromise with the person that you are in a relationship with.