I feel like a failure because my youtube channel is dead
Why does that make you feel like a failure?
I had hoped it could be a career path for me.
When you have been working on something and it's not going well that's difficult. I know that's hard and I hope you have better luck.
I feel like a clown tbh, I need to do something else.
You should not feel ashamed you tried. I hope you can find something to do and try to pursue your dreams as a side job or hobby.