I don't know why, but I'm having the urge to push my partner and his guns off the side of a cliff.
Why would you push him off a cliff?
Because he put a gun in his mouth and tried to kill himself.
It's understandable to be traumatized by something like that, but pushing him off a cliff wouldn't resolve any issue. Why not talk to him about how his behavior has negatively affected you? It would also be helpful if you went to therapy to discuss your feelings.
Why should I care?
You're going through an extremely traumatizing situation currently. You should care because your life is important and you should take care of yourself.