I feel like I rather be dead than alive right now. Dying gives us the ultimate freedom because we no longer have to worry about anything in life.
That's some dark stuff. Why are you feeling that way?
Because I have nothing to live for.
I understand what you're going through and I know it can be difficult, but you should reach out to someone if you feel like you want to die. It's important to let other people know when you're going through a tough time, because they'll be able to get your through it.
Technically if you kill yourself you won't know if there's anything after that. I'm just curious ... what would happen if I killed myself?
If you kill yourself, I guess, everyone around you will suffer the pain of losing you. Everyone will miss you and want answers to questions that they will never get. So I think you actually have quite a lot to lose and you should get professional help because, honestly, it's all in your mind.