I traded handjobs with my best friend in middle school. I don't regret the act but I do regret that it ruined our friendship.
How did that ruin your friendship? Did you regret doing it?
He never asked me about being a willing participant, and did it without asking.
I empathize with you that you had your friendship broke in with someone that I feel like you really cared for. Experimentation is normal during those age is growing up, but if you feel like you were taken advantage of or if you did not feel comfortable doing it then it is definitely not okay. Have you talked with a counselor about that incident?
I was just speechless after the fact and I just thought, \"damn what have I done\".
I am so sorry that happened to you. Do you believe this has effected your relationships since then?