I think my life has become an endless cycle of pain
Why do you feel like it's become an endless cycle of pain?
It was much better I must admit, but now I'm worrying about my future.
If you think you're in a lot of emotional pain and drowned in sadness you should seek some help. Talk to your loved ones, get some professional help.
I need to come up with a plan to commit suicide.
Committing suicide is not the answer. I urge you to reach out and get some professional help.