I feel like such a beta male personality wise.
what makes you think you're a beta male.
I haven't been on a date for over one year
It's irrelevant whether you're alpha male or beta male. You're what you are and there's nothing wrong in it.
But I want to feel special. Unloved and ignored are the same and they both suck.
Being a beta doesn't mean you will always be alone or unloved. Many people don't want to date someone with an alpha personality because they are too aggressive.