I strongly dislike my mum and it breaks my heart
What happened to make you dislike her?
My mum went on a night out and never came back.
You need to be more understanding of what your mum was and is going through. You should want a close relationship with your parents and should try to be more understanding so that can happen.
It's her fault for going out and abandoning me.
I am so sorry she abandoned you. You deserve to have someone who loves you. Do you talk with your father?