I was born with half my manhood
How does that make you feel about your gender?
In fact I don't want to be a man, it is way too heavy.
If you feel strongly about that, you should explore your options. It's not good if the way you feel inside doesn't match your body.
I know. It was hard for me to look at my privates in the mirror for years, but I got used to it eventually.
You don't have to "get used to it." There are validating procedures available if you choose to get them.