I'm going to ditch my friends last minute and lie to one of them
You would rather meet your parents instead?
Yes, I'd rather meet my parents than my friends
They're just your parents, so why is it okay to lie to your friends about them? I'm sure your friends will be all okay for you to hang out with your family first because family is important. You are ruining your trust and friendships going about it this way.
I'm going to be a douche. Also I'll treat them to a good meal when we meet at a later date.
It is fine to want to meet with your parents, but you should not want to lie about it. They are your friends, I am sure they will understand if you want to spend time with your parents.