I hate myself for the resentment I have towards my mother
Do you know why you hold the resentment?
My father left and it's all her fault.
It's difficult to deal with resenting a parent but sometimes things in life lead us to feeling that way. It shouldn't bring you to the point that you resent yourself just because you have harsh feelings towards a parental figure.
I just feel bad that I want her to feel bad.
Getting down on yourself for being resentful towards your mom will only make things worse. See if you can find a counselor that you can speak with so that they can support you in dealing with these issues.