I'm going to masturbate in the restroom at my local grocery store
Could you explain why you want to do that?
I like doing these things on the shop floor on the DL
You should never masturbate in a public place. You should do that in the privacy of your home instead.
I like to get out and last night I wanted to take a trip to Wally World.
Just because you were there, doesn't mean that you need to masturbate. It's not only offensive to others, but if you are caught it could lead to very serious life altering trouble, like jail-time and having register as a sex offender.