I think I should defend myself by destroying the lives of people who trust me.
Why do you want to destroy lives of people who trust you?
I don't know. I just think I'll happy by losing people.
I hope you're joking. It's wrong that you want to betray your people and gain pleasure out of it. You should be ashamed of thinking so.
I am a natural. I want to fuck shit up and turn the tables on people who try to hurt me.
It sounds like you need to get away from people all together. Not only will you hurt people, you're going to get into trouble yourself. Take some time to yourself to get over these feelings.