I want to stick the barista's face under the hot milk steamer nozzle
Why on earth would you do that?
The coffee is always so bad here.
I think that that is awful. You should never do something like that, you know that that is just going to hurt them!
I'll do what ever I want, don't tell me what I can and can't do.
If you assault them you could be criminally liable. Please just visit a different coffee shop until you can find someone who makes exactly what you like.