Can I become an abusive father?
It doesn't sound that cool. Why would you want to be an abusive father?
I'm going to feel good when the kids are afraid of me. I want to beat them regularly when they are bad
You are expected to protect your children, not hurt them. You should learn to be more loving towards your children.
I don't like this, I'm going to stop.
I am glad that you are going to stop being abusive to your children. Otherwise your children will end up resenting you as a father if you decide to abuse them.