Do you think it's normal that I'm only alive because of my kid?
Why do you feel you are alive because of your kid?
I love my kid and I can't let anything happen to him.
People find their purpose for living through their loved one. It's okay if your reason is for your child.
I'm going to shoot a hot dose of heroin and die in front of him after he gets home from school.
You need to get help immediately. You said you lived for you child; taking the action you described will scar him for the rest of his life. Have you thought about how that will affect him?