I hate my high functioning autism
What is it about high functioning autism that you hate?
I envy my peers who are able to have fun. Being autistic is hard.
It's hard being autistic. It's okay to be frustrated sometimes about it.
Why does no one have to deal with this?
Everyone has their personal struggles and yours is no different. It can be difficult dealing with autism but it can be controlled and mitigated. See it as a learning phase and a chance to grow to learn new things about yourself.