I use my ex's name as a curse word
Do you hate them that much?
Yes, I hate her because she ruined my life. She is a lowlife bitch.
I'm sorry your ex was horrible, but you need to just forget about her and not use her as a curse. If you keep doing that you will always remember the bad things she did to you over the years.
But that bitch was such a horrible person.
Still, you should be able to move on, the relationship is done if you dwell on it you will be the only one who is hurt. And other people watch the way you react so if you act out they might be turned off by it.