When I see my brother cry, I feel redeemed.
That seems mean. Why do you feel happy when your brother cries?
I want him to suffer.
That is wrong to be happy about your brother crying. He's your family; don't gloat in that.
You don't understand. He had ruined my family. He's a total asshole and he hides the truth from everyone.
Then tell everybody the truth so that they know what they are dealing with but being happy about somebody crying is mean. It makes you a bad person to do that to another person.