I'm too afraid to tell a secret, but it's eating at my soul.
What kinds of things are you doing to cope?
I've always cried about it, almost begged it to stop
You should reveal this secret and relieve yourself of this burden. It's not worth it to keep something that is eating away at your mental health no matter what it is.
But I'll lose someone I love.
If you tell them the truth and they love you it may hurt them but they will stick by you. You are only prolonging something if you think they are going to leave anyways.