I love her very much and dying here without her... but she hates me... she hates me... she hates me...
Do you really think that? What drives you to constantly think she hates you?
I was always getting into fights with the people I loved most then they left me...
People get into fights, but it is not good to start obsessing over whether or not fights lead your friend to hate you. Obsession will drive you mad.
I'll show her that she's wrong...
I think it's wise to take a step back and have a deep breath. Don't you think it's a better idea to try to make up with all of them so you can pass on peacefully? You may even live a little longer if all of this unhappiness would be lifted!