I don't want to apologize to my girlfriend
Why don't you want to apologize?
I'm tired of apologizing to her for my mistakes.
If you are making mistakes, then you need to apologize. If you want to stop apologizing, then stop making mistakes.
Yeah but I can't hold myself from doing what I want.
You can and should hold yourself accountable. You are in control of your actions and you should take more care in what you are doing.