Sometimes you do everything you can but if they inherit the other parents traits it's a losing battle
What are you trying to do?
I just want them to listen and understand me.
Children are their own person, it is good to have 2 parents they can learn from. It is good to care for them even when they hurt or disappoint you.
It doesn't make sense to care for them if they don't understand you.
Children develop their own personalities and their own way of life. You cannot expect them to like you just for being their parent. You do need to continue caring for them because it is your responsibility until they are adults.