What should I do if I'm thinking of sabotaging a friendship, and I can't get the idea out of my mind.
Why would you do that to a friend?
I want to see how my life would be without him.
Sabotaging this friendship will be really hurtful to your friend. If you want to end the friendship do it honestly and with kindness.
How? He's my friend, I can talk to him about it.
If he's your friend, then of course you can talk to him, and you may even find that after a talk you don't want to end the friendship. Just don't sabotage it, and make him think that you are a terrible friend instead.