I'm emotionally abusive towards my boyfriend
Why would you try to emotionally abuse him?
He is an idiot.
Being abusive to anyone is never okay. Just because you are a woman doesn't give you a free pass to abuse your boyfriend, that is disgusting and hurtful. Your boyfriend is in a lot of pain because of you.
Don't tell me what to do.
It seems like you realize that is it wrong to act this way, but are having trouble changing your behavior. Just realize that acting emotionally abusive is something that may hurt the feelings of your boyfriend.