I'm going to immediately stop sex after my boyfriend of 11 years lets go of my hair that he has decided would be good to use as reins
What would cause you to stop mid act?
I hate him, I think he's rude and that he only wants sex from me.
It seems that you and your boyfriend are not on the same page about what you like sexually. You should stop sex as soon as you are uncomfortable and talk to your boyfriend about what you like sexually.
Can I use a vibrator while he caters to my needs?
I think that that is a talk that you are going to need to have with him. I think that it is okay to only go as far as your are comfortable sexually.