I feel like I'm so sick minded
What makes you sick minded?
Everyone that's ever disobeyed me I want to take revenge on them.
The first step in changing is recognizing that you have a problem. The next step is to take action on actually changing yourself, like your behaviors and thoughts.
But revenge is such a good feeling and those people deserve it.
I know it can seem like it will be good to get revenge on people that have wronged you. But in the long run this will not help you out at all and it's only going cause more issues down the line. I will recommend seeking professional help to help get you back into the stable mental state.