I want to ask my boyfriend to tone down his style a bit to fit in with my friends
That's strange. Is he too aggressive?
Yes, I want him to be more gentle.
You should not try to change your partner to fit in with your friends. If you can't be compatible it might be better to look for someone different.
I can't be compatible with everyone. It's okay to have differences.
You're right, but this is your boyfriend and you need to accept his differences if you want to be with him. Wanting him to be more gentle is nice, but he shouldn't have to fit that mold if he doesn't want to.