I'm stuck in this hell of having a 2nd life and wake up thinking who I am going to be today
A second life? Why do you feel like you have to live 2 lives?
That's how I feel. Everything is not right with me now.
I'm proud that you found a way to cope but if everything really isn't okay to the point where you need to live a second life you should really seek some help. Getting some help will likely make you feel much better and get you back to feeling normal.
You are just being naive. I'm not going to waste my life's money and time on some therapist.
I'm just saying that if it's so exhausting and taking a toll on you, maybe it can be the right thing to ask for help? It's healthy and important to rely on others even if it can take a toll on your pride.