I'm afraid that if I try to be smart I'll realize I'm dumb
Wow. How have you tried this before?
Once I tried to think about the reasoning and actions of another person and afterwards, trying to learn how it works and I felt like a total idiot.
It is scary to put yourself out there and fail but if you don't try you won't find out if you really can do it. You will be stuck in one place otherwise.
One step at a time.
I applaud you for being willing to learn new things. Even the most skilled people can be nervous or scared of failure sometimes.