I don't drink often but when I do I like to drink heavily.
Are you kidding? Why are you drinking so heavily?
The more I drink, the funnier I get.
I can understand what you are trying to do, but it is definitely a bad thing to drink so much. You might get yourself or others in danger. You should try to moderate your alcohol intake, so that you can function a bit better and not be totally drunk.
Worry not, my liver can take all of this.
That's what everyone thinks, but it's very easy to accidentally get alcohol poisoning from drinking too much. You should really consider drinking in moderation.