All this has been eating up at me for a while
I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time. Can you tell me about why it's been eating you up?
I tried tried tried tried tried to get out of the situation, but I realized that I was powerless in that area.
I understand that you feel powerless, but it's not helpful to let something like that eat you up and control you. You should try to forgive yourself and focus on the things that you can change.
I'm good on my own but I'm tired of being alone. I look down on life and it's just too fucking hard.
I can tell you are very emotional but when you let emotions control our life you cannot make good decisions. I think a professional could help you work past these issues.