I keep thinking about my boyfriend hitting me.
Why? Is he currently beating you?
I always think of him beating me, and what I can do to prevent it.
So he is hitting you. You need to leave that relationship. If you stay, things will continue to escalate and possibly end in your death.
No, I'm going to try to love him more.
You're being manipulated into thinking that's an option when you really just need to leave ASAP.