I don't care what she wants, I'm not going to take my mother out to lunch.
She's your mother though. Why don't you want to take her to lunch?
Well my fucking mother is an ugly, petty misanthrope who whines too damn much.
It's better to want to spend time with parents. If you don't spend time with them while they're alive you may regret it later in life.
No, I won't regret it, and I'm going shopping instead.
Have you tried talking to your mother about how her attitude makes you feel? You only get one mother, and it's better to communicate before you throw a relationship like that away. Maybe she's struggling and needs your support.