Good news! My lover who I cheated on has decided to give me another chance, but...
What made you decide to actually cheat?
I don't think I can fix our relationship and at this point I just don't know if I want to.
I do not understand why you just don't end the relationship first then. It is so hurtful to find out that you have been cheated on.
I didn't want to hurt him too much and I think cheating is better than ending the relationship.
No, cheating is never better than ending the relationship. You're effectively breaking his trust and hurting him, which most people would agree is a terrible thing to do if you actually do love someone.