How about I just give up on my mental recovery?
Why do you want to throw away your recovery?
I actually want to quit mental disorder recovery because it makes me feel bad. But my life is so much better when I stay in recovery, so sometimes I hate myself for not wanting to stay.
I know it can be difficult to get treatment for mental health problems, but it's great that you're doing it. It's important that you stay in recovery and try to deal with your problems because doing so will make you happier.
I know, I just don't like lying to others.
You should just stick to being honest then. Honesty will help with your mental health recovery. You need to keep on doing this, I know it's hard now but things will improve for you.