I've really let my life go. I used to be straight edge but now I'm depressed and haven't been sober since my birthday
That's not good. How did you stop being straight edge?
It happened gradually by hanging out with friends who weren't straight edge.
I'm sorry that you fell into alcohol or drugs, but you shouldn't keep doing that. You need a support system to get you through your depression or else you may ruin your life with your addiction.
It's fine. I like the feeling since it makes me forget.
I think you should look into counseling and possibly medication to help your depression. Once that is dealt with you will have an easier time returning to sobriety.