I peed in the produce aisle today
Are you serious? Can you explain why?
I thought it would be funny.
As funny as that may have been for you it's wrong and illegal. You basically ruined the produce and contaminating food like that can have serious consequences. Do what you're supposed to and go pee in a bathroom.
I could get arrested and get a criminal record? Nah, don't think so.
But even if you get away with it and nobody finds out, people are going to eat that food and you just contaminated everything. If you can't keep your bladder under control long enough to get to a bathroom, there are products that can help you.