I escaped my abuser
What did the abuser end up doing to you?
He kicked me a lot and make me go outside in cold weather.
It is good that you escaped your abuser. Nobody should be allowed to abuse another person.
It's my own fault for not enjoying abuse.
You should not enjoy when someone abuses you. Do not blame yourself for not feeling happy about being abused. You did the right thing in escaping the person who was doing this to you.