Is it bad to be happy when your childhood bully's dad dies?
That's horrible. Why would you be happy about someone dying?
It's just this sick feeling of revengeful joy I feel when I'm thinking about them.
I understand feeling bitter toward your childhood bully, but you shouldn't revel in their misery. It will make you come off as vindictive and cruel. It's best just to move on from things that happened so long ago.
Does it really matter how I feel if I made sure no one knows it?
Even if nobody else learns that you're happy that their dad died, you still shouldn't feel that way. It's wrong to take joy in someone else's suffering. Try to focus on yourself instead and find ways to feel happy that don't come at the expense of other people.