I'm getting depression due to how little I got to be in my son's life
I can understand you are depressed from not being in your son's life.
I'm already suffering from depression for this very reason.
I understand, but you should always try to spend more time with your family any way possible. If you need to go to court to get custody then so be it.
There's no other choice. My ex makes all the decisions and I just bend with the wind.
If you need a good lawyer, I might just so happen to know this one guy that specializes in custody hearings. You do whatever it takes to get your son back. Even if you get visitation right, that will still be a win.