Is it okay if I I want my mother to think things through?
What is the issue between you and your mom?
She doesn't understand what I'm going through.
It is understandable that you would like for your mom to be more thoughful on what you are going through. It is a pretty crappy feeling to not feel understand, especially from your parents.
I want her to realize that she is the reason why I'm emotionally fucked up.
I understand you're wishful thinking in wanting your mother to understand your pain. You should have an honest conversation with her.