I always tell my friends that my best friend who died was not my friend so that people don't scrutinize me
How does avoiding scrutiny by lying about your deceased friend help you?
I do that because I can't control people. If you're not aware of the truth, it's better for me.
There is no reason to lie about this. Tell the truth to others and they will understand.
Yes. But they get too upset when they think I was close to someone who passed away.
Don't you want to be able to live your truth. You should not have to lie to others.