I allow myself to be destroyed by the same person time and time again
What is pushing you to allow yourself to be destroyed by the same person time and time again?
I feel bad about myself and think that I deserve it.
Allowing yourself to be taken down by someone else over and over again is self-destructive. You can change your life by taking charge and breaking the cycle.
I can't do a thing. I wish I could be self-confident, but it's only my wishful thinking. I am weak and cowardly.
Self-confidence will not be gained by allowing yourself to be someone else's doormat. Don't let your fear run your life. Stand up for yourself against this person.