I feel like I can't take this anymore.
Why can't you take it anymore?
I've tried to restrain myself for so long but I'm tired of restraining myself
You should seek someone to talk to if you can't control your emotions. You are an adult so you need to somehow handle your business like a mature human being.
You mean talk to a shrink? Nah.
If psychiatry is not for you, approach some friends or close family and let them know what you are dealing with. They'll listen to your troubles and try to help you as best they can.