I think I was molested but I'm terrified to speak out
Why are you scared to talk about your abuse?
I know there is more to it than what I can recall.
So then you need to talk to a therapist to uncover the things you've been hiding unconsciously. You can't keep carrying these traumas like this forever or else your mental state will only worsen.
I'm fucking terrified. I'm 19 and my mother molested me when I was 11.
I understand it is scary. It is not easy to talk about your abuse, but if you do it, it will benefit you greatly. Find a therapist that you can trust to talk to about it.