I'm questioning where I go if there is an afterlife now
Interesting, so is that why you've been pondering things?
Yep, I've been thinking that I would only go back to the living if I see some sign that proves that there is another life after death
It's usual to question how things work. We can't really know if there is any-sort of afterlife.
That's why I'm questioning it. We have to think for ourselves if it's going to happen or not.
Questioning your values and beliefs is going to be something we all do at one time or another, you are not much different than everyone else. Just try and make things as clear in your mind as you can so you don't go overboard with reality or fantasy.