I despise everything someone I went to high school with does even years after the original thing that made me mad
What is causing you to hold on to those painful memories?
I can't explain it. I don't want to explain it. It's just the way I am.
I understand how you feel, but you shouldn't hold a grudge for so long. Try to forget about it and focus on current events in your life instead.
It's really hard to let go but I will try.
It seems that you are willing to let go of the burden that your high school memory has been causing. It's great that you are willing to move forward.