I don't want to be alive
Do you have anything to look forward to?
Yes, the day I stopped living.
It's understandable when we are feeling extremely down we may feel so strongly that we don't want to live anymore. You shouldn't have the idea of not wanting to live anymore in your head, you should reach out to friends and family to try to make yourself get in a better state of mind. Continuing to have these ideas in your head will only put you in a depressive state.
I am already here.
Getting professional help can help you deal with or manage your negative feelings. You don't need to suffer in silence. People really want to help you if you give them the chance.