I'm not going to give my boyfriend my phone account password for him to pay my phone bill
Why wouldn't you give him the password to pay the phone bill?
Then I'll have to give him all the passwords of my fallback accounts and he wants to control my whole life
I understand that paying bills together might be beneficial in some circumstances, but I agree that sharing passwords is a very touchy subject and should not be done lightly. I think you should avoid doing that, and perhaps set up a separate account to pay your joint bills from.
We usually share everything, However, I think it's reasonable not to share any password with him.
You're doing the right thing. I hope your boyfriend will understand your decision.