I've gradually become an abuser.
What have you been doing to cause the abuse?
My wife told me I'd evolved into an abuser.
If you think you are abusing her, you need to get help. You should stop hurting your wife.
I asked her to tell me what makes her think I'm abusing her.
If you really are abusing her, then it's good you are at least aware of it all. It's wonderful you are letting your wife have a say on this, so I believe it's best to listen to her carefully so you know what not to do. I hope your relationship can flourish and that you have a second chance.