I fantasize about offing myself to spite my parents
Why would you try to glamorize something so dark?
I'm not special in the eyes of my parents. I would like to make them realize what they've done to me
In general, it's wrong to want to do something just to spite your parents.  In this case in particular, it's doubly wrong because fantasizing about killing yourself is a very unhealthy mindset.  You should try and look into family therapy to work through these issues you guys are having.
WTF. I'm wishing death upon myself.
I know what you are doing and I do not think that it is okay. You should not fantasize about killing yourself, especially if it is just to spite your parents.