I'm going to use the unfiltered utterances of my narcissistic and now dementia-ridden mother to understand and heal my own ctpsd
Do you think that will work?
Narcissism is the root of all my trauma.
It is understandable in wanting to heal your emotional problems but it should not come at the expense of using your dementia-ridden mother. It is very wrong to take advantage of a mentally ill person in trying to help yourself.
I need to do it in order to find out what's wrong with me.
Have you considered talking to a therapist about these issues I think they will be able to help navigate you through your emotional traumas. And they also have a different perspective so you can get feedback.