I wish I was mute and I can't help but feel I'd be better off if I was.
What has made you want to be mute?
I was raped when I was 9, so my life is in pieces and this is my solution. If I don't talk, people will avoid me and I want that.
I understand this is a very difficult and tough situation, but you should not want to have a disability. It is alright if you don't want to talk to people, perfectly so, but loosing speech completely will make you lose out on so many good things in life, it's not worth it.
I just need people to understand that I don't want to talk and I don't want the pressure of being good. I just want to pretend my mind works as it is and I want to hide.
Rape is extremely traumatic, and it doesn't seem like you've had a chance to work through it. Rather than choosing to be mute, you should seek out a therapist who's experienced with people who have suffered trauma.