I have to admit I have failed as a father and a boyfriend.
Why do you feel you have failed so much?
Because I hear that the kids love to see their other dad every day. They don't seem to enjoy me that much.
You can't live up to expectations all the time. Don't call yourself a failure for not being perfect.
I fucked up. I don't know how to raise kids.
Like I said I understand you have a lot of guilt right now. You can improve on yourself by looking into ways to make your children happy. This will be very worthwhile to you.