Coming up with original dark jokes is hard. almost as hard as I am when I meet my 8 year old niece.
Seriously? Do you think it is okay to talk about your niece in that way? What would your family think?
I'd rather explain it to my psychiatrist if I have any.
It sounds like you do need a psychiatrist if you have these sorts of thoughts. You shouldn't be making jokes about assaulting a child, do you want people to think you are a pedophile?
I'm not.
You're not, but that sort of joke makes you sound like a pedophile and people may not know that you're joking. Do you really think this is funny?