Would working just to avoid being part of a family be a problem? I've never really belonged and every time I tried it went horribly.
Wait, what problems do you have with being in a family?
I'm afraid of not meeting with their standards
It's possible you've had too many toxic encounters with family members that keep you from making a connection with them. Talk to them and see if you can find some common ground.
I'm really just not sure how I should deal.
Going by what you said I can understand why you would be so confused on what to do but talking is really the best answer. Finding some common ground will lead to becoming closer with your family and having a family is great.