Can I make my sil feel ashamed?
Why do you want her to feel ashamed?
All she does is complain about me.
Instead of actively trying to shame your family members, try communicating with them about your grievances. If she refuses to cooperate, ignore her from now on and tell other family if it escalates.
I have tried everything and she refuses to change. I have to make her feel ashamed.
You can grow up and be the adult then, you can ignore her and move on with your life. You didn't marry her so it isn't your burden.