I don't think the barrier that tells me to hurt myself is there anymore
Has the feeling been gone for some time now?
It has been gone for a long time now.
If you feel like you can no longer stop yourself from self-harm, you should speak with a mental health professional to receive help and support to overcome those feelings. Self-harm can cause lasting physical injury and is very detrimental to your mental health. There is no shame in getting assistance for stopping self-harm.
Oh I think it's not my barrier that's preventing me from self-harm but how others see me.
If you think you are in danger of relapse it would be good to get help before it happens. I can help you find someone if you don't have a professional to talk to.