I'm a cheater who can't communicate his feelings and I hate myself.
I feel for you, but why do you feel that way about yourself?
My parents always said that I need to be a perfect kid who gets good grades.
You shouldn't hate yourself. There is always time to change if  you put in the work. You can change yourself into a happy person if you work at it.
I'm lonely. If I can't find a girl to live with me I'm going over the edge.
I feel like you have very personal issues with your relationships with your parents and romantic relationships, that's why I think you need to try and get help from a professional who you can trust to get your life back on tract so that you don't end up on a bad path.