I'm going to confess having suicidal thoughts
Why are you having suicidal thoughts?
I feel my life is worthless and I have no qualms or regrets about killing myself
I'm sorry you are going through this. It's good to confess to having suicidal thoughts. Now you can get the help that you need and hopefully make you feel somewhat better.
I'm just kidding actually. I'm not feeling suicidal. I'm just trying to get you to react to me having suicidal thoughts so that it would stun you into silence.
That is no way to get someone's attention. It's rude to manipulate people like that for your own satisfaction. Why not interact with people in pleasant ways instead?