What do you think of me refusing to visit my grandfather one last time in hospital?
That's awful. Why wouldn't you go visit him?
He has committed suicide for which he will get Hell.
If you are not comfortable with seeing him in that state, I understand. It can be hard to see the body of someone that you cared for deeply.
I found him, that scene will forever be there in the back of my mind.
I am sorry that you had to see that. It is okay if you are not okay about seeing in him like that. If it doesn't make you uncomfortable maybe you can talk to him on the phone instead.