I used to get constantly beat by my dad as a child and built a subconscious barrier between him and I. It's been about 10 years since we've had a meaningful conversation
Is this true? If so, that must have been very difficult for you.
Yes, I've told you already it's true
I'm so sorry that your father did that to you. You are right for no longer being in contact with him.  He might start to harm you again or bring back old wounds.
I actually do not understand why he did what he did to me.
It's completely understandable to be confused about why he would behave that way, and you should not have experienced that, especially as a kid. It might be a good idea to consider seeing a therapist to help you with these troubling memories.