I want to kick my friends dog
Oh no, why would you want to do that?
I've been wanting to kick it for a long time now
That is wrong. You should not kick any animals, they are the most innocent creatures.
That thing is a nuisance to everyone. It's my job to straighten things out.
It is not your job, but I do get that the dog is upsetting you. If you have a legit issue, I think you should speak to your friend and talk to them about how their dog is a nuisance. Regardless, harming the dog is not a solution and it could truly result in legal issues for you.