What do you think about me being in a relationship with my vacuum cleaner?
Okay, wow... how are you in a relationship with a vacuum?
I'm almost always at home and we've been together for five years.
That is very weird to say you are in a relationship with a vacuum. You should try and meet real people.
It's not my fault you don't have to spend time at home and I'm happy with my vacuum.
You're going to eventually need a new vacuum which is why you shouldn't become overly attached to an inanimate object and instead should find a person  or multiple people. It's always better to have friends than something that can't actually please you.