I haven't told anyone this but I feel a connection with my older coworker who is not my crush.
That sounds complicated.
I know she would treat me better than the crush, who is my age.
You should avoid romance at work. Things could get sticky.
I'm not sure I can control my longing for her.
There are literally billions of eligible women on the planet. Can't you find just one that's not wouldn't carry all the potential issues of a coworker? You would have a much easier time forming a relationship with someone outside the office.