I'm still shaking, I was almost in a car accident this morning
Are you okay? How did you almost get in an accident?
I was planning to kill myself
If you wanted to kill yourself in a car accident, you need to get help. You are suicidal and really need professional help.
It's just a joke, I have bad sense of humor.
How could you joke about something like, if it was to the wrong person they could be very hurt! I believe it would still be wise to talk to a therapist, because even if it was a joke don't you think there's something underlying there? I believe you can have a happy life and not think about these things.