I can't remember the last time I was happy
Why do you think that you are not happy?
My life is in the toilet and I can't get up in the morning.
If you are experiencing persistent unhappiness then you are feeling anhedonia and it is sign of depression. You should contact a mental health professional in order to receive treatment and be able to be happy once again. Keeping up with your mental health is important for your overall well-being and should be prioritized.
I don't have it in me to call a counselor. I'm just too down.
No one else can make you get help, but if you don't snap out of this to get started, you will spiral down and get really lost. Not feeling a sense of joy in your life says that you need to get professional help now.