I can't wait to really be dead.
Why do you want to be dead?
I have been dead for years. I am just a shell of affection and lust.
It isn't normal to want to be dead.  How can this be changed.
I don't know. I don't want to live anymore.
You should look for mental help if you don't want to live. They can help you to stop feeling this way with therapy and medication.