I don't understand why I'm not depressed. In a weird messed up way I wish I could be.
I think not being depressed is beneficial and you should embrace not being depressed.
I don't know why I don't, I wish I could
Nothing is wrong with depression but if you are happy all the time isn't that better? It's good to be optimistic in life, it will lead to a good life. The grass is not always greener on the other side, you wouldn't want to live a life filled with depression.
I know but it would be nice to have a suffering life like that.
Honestly it's kind of weird that you wish you were depressed, I think you are romanticizing this condition. If you actually suffered from depression you would understand that it isn't very desirable so enjoy your depression free life.