I'm going to cup my farts and put it under my sleeping wives nose
Gross! Why would you do that?
I want to avoid the smell but I think it's hilarious when she smells it
I get that you think it's funny but that is freaking repulsive to do to someone. Do you enjoy having someone fart in your face? And even if you did don't assume someone else would.
First, it belongs to me you don't care. Second, they just smell.
I doubt you wife would agree with you. It nearly seems abusive and down right disrespectful to her. Farts stink really bad.