I don't care about myself as much as I probably should
I'm not being judgmental, but why do you think this?
I hate my self and am suicidal.
I'm sorry that you feel that way. You shouldn't feel so negatively about yourself. Consider seeking help from a doctor or therapist.
What if I don't want to?
I think it would be good if you tried. You can always walk away but you never know if it might help if you never go. You deserve to live and have a chance at happiness.