How do you keep a child from being spoiled? Keep it in the fridge.
Why would you joke about assaulting a child like that?
I'm just kidding, I don't really like kids and I was just making a joke.
I know you were making a joke, but advocating abusive actions towards children is wrong. This is a sensitive topic for many people as children are often abused by adults. Please think about abused children and the horrors some of them have experienced before making a joke like this.