I'm going to push my close friend to ghost me
Why do you want the friendship to end?
I keep hurting him very badly
It is wrong to push away a friend and leave them with no explanation as to what is going on. You should at least tell them something so they understand what is happening, otherwise they will be heartbroken that you're gone from their life.
But people like that are painful to deal with and makes me feel sick.
I think that you should talk to your friend first. It can be hard to feel like you are being pushed away by a friend.