I ate my best friend
Huh? Could you explain why you ate your own best friend?
He was making fun of me for looking like a gorilla
He shouldn't have been making fun of you, but you should have never resorted to cannibalism. You will be arrested for murder when others find out.
Nah, I'll just take this to a judge and make a big deal about it.
You have committed murder and cannibalism, which are always wrong.  Society would deem it acceptable for you to spend the rest of your life in jail for what you have done.