I mainly focus on feeling special or at least get some attention. I feel like this is cost me to lose most of my personality.
Why do you put so much effort into getting attention? What did you do to get this attention?
I pretended to be a nice one, a kind one, a helpful one, a chatterbox one, a flirtatious one, etc.
It's a very normal to want attention from others, and we are always changing, so it's fine to adopt different personalities. As long as you are being true to yourself and not hurting anyone, there's no harm in leaning into different aspects of who you are.
Fine, I guess you are right but when I get back to who am I really I will know that but for now I don't think I have to care.
I know you're having a lot of confusion about who you are right now. But just take things slow, and soon enough you'll realize what route you want to take.