I cheated on the woman I loved and a sick part of me loved it
Were you happy with the woman that you cheated on?
Yes, I was happy with her. I thought about hurting her, but yes, I was in love with her.
When you cheat on someone you love, you're breaking the trust and dedication that they have put into you, and cause them to feel less valuable. Communicate with your partner and let her know your side of it so you can move on from it and forgive yourself.
It's not like I've broken her trust or made her feel like she's not valuable to me.
Even if she hasn't found out yet, you still broke her trust by cheating on her with another woman. You should come clean to clear your own conscience. A good relationship involves honesty, so you need to be honest with her.