Lately I've been not knowing what to do with my life.
what do you mean? why are you upset?
I've always found that whenever I hear about death it's upsetting. It's nothing to feel guilty about though.
I get it that the thought of death is upsetting but you dont need to think too much about it. It's nice that you don't find it wrong to talk about it.
I feel like death is getting close to me, but I don't care. I don't want to feel like this anymore.
If thinking about death is affecting you this much, I would recommend you talk to a therapist. Therapy can help you remove these intrusive thoughts and get you back on track to a good mental state.