I don't want to talk to my friend about her on again off again boyfriend
I'm not sure why you don't want to talk about it?
I'm an asshole to people who don't listen to my advice and don't want to hear about it
Giving advice to your friend is important. If she doesn't want to hear it, though, you can't force her to. You should listen to her issues to make her feel better though.
You are one annoying dude, why do you tell me what to do.
I'm trying to help you by explaining that people won't like you if they know that you are purposefully bad towards your friends.