I kicked my wife out of the house so I could cry
Are you embarrassed to cry in front of her
I didn't want her to see me cry and I want to be alone at that time
Maybe just go into the other room to cry by yourself. You should not make your wife leave. It is her house too.
I don't want to be with my wife. I am only with her because I need to be.
If you don't want to be with your wife,  you need to be honest with her. She deserves to be with someone who wants to be with her.