I've been manipulating a guy for him to fall hard for me so I can leave them later on.
Why would you do that to him? You even love him?
Yes, I still love them. But I want him to feel like he wants to be with me a lot more.
Love can be complicated but you have to be careful about not hurting someone, you shouldn't want to have them love you more so that they will hurt more. People will think that you are a sociopath.
I really want him to hurt more and I want him to rip his hair out and drop dead.
The thoughts you're having are very irrational right now. You care about him, but at the same time you want to cause harm to him. These intrusive thoughts are going to cause issues for you, I recommend talking to a therapist.