What to you think of me wanting to attack a co worker that eats "seductively"?
That must be annoying. How would you attack him?
I want to throw paint all over his face.
It's wrong for your co-worker to eat in an inappropriate manner in the workplace. However, plotting any kind of revenge is much worse, and you shouldn't even be thinking about treating colleagues this way.
I've got some serious anger issues.
Yeah, you might have if your first reaction is to take unnecessary revenge on him. I think it would be best to just simply tell them how uncomfortable you are, and eat away from them. Problem simply solved!