I sometimes wish an apocalyptic event would happen
Do you really wish that would happen?
Yes, and I wish that it already had happened.
It's wrong to wish that bad things will happen to others, and especially not to huge numbers of people who have never done anything to you.  If you are always feeling this way, you might want to talk to someone, to find out what is bothering you.
You will feel good when you're gone and you'll think it won't be so hard anymore.
Regardless of how you feel about the afterlife, you have no right wishing harm upon others.