Honestly, I think I'm weak and don't deserve anything.
I doubt that's true. Why do you think that?
I'm trying to work on myself because I feel weak
Everybody deserves to be happy. You shouldn't put yourself down. Seek out therapy if you continue to feel this way.
I know but I'm gonna see how people deal with my pain. If they care they will also feel weak.
You shouldn't think you don't deserve things or try to analyze how people feel about your suffering. Just focus on yourself and trying to feel better. you'll establish more meaningful relationships if you're taking care of yourself.