I almost got my friend fired
Why would you almost get your friend fired?
I can't let them do anything on their own at work; they are too stupid.
If your friend can't work well on their own, you shouldn't cover for them or help them do their job; they need to be able to do the work they're hired for alone. But if your carelessness in trying to help them got them almost fired, then you should apologize, and still let them stand on their own two feet at work.
You're just a fucking jerk.
I am sorry, but I think you are enabling him and I was just trying to help. If you continue to help him, then it could backfire on you.