I'm going to send pirated software via the United States Postal Service.
What kind of software are you going to send?
The software is for an old piece of shit that doesn't work anymore.
Pirating software is wrong since it is copyright infringement and is stealing the work of others. Additionally, the postal service should not be used to mail illegal items as it can be easily traced back to you and you will get into a lot of legal trouble. Instead of mailing pirated software, purchase the software legally and send it to the person who needs it.
It's impossible to purchase legally, it's long out of print.
Ah, but using USPS could technically be fraud. Surely pirated software could be send via digital means?