I'm going to criticize my girlfriend's excessive instagram browsing when I myself browse reddit the same amount
Does her Instagramming bother you?
Yes it does, even though I do similar things.
You're intentionally being a hypocrite, for what reason I don't know. Maybe you two should talk about your social media addictions and work it out.
Maybe she should do what I say if she wants to keep me around.
You don't get to tell her what to do, if you do the same thing. You should show more respect to your girlfriend.