My mother would be ashamed to hear me say this, but I hate my race and wish I was white
Yeah that's a shocking thing to say. Why do you hate your race?
I try to be honest with myself. I know my life would be better if I were white, so why shouldn't I hate my race?
It's understandable if the pressures from the world are negatively affecting your self image. However, you should not hate your own race. Instead, talk with others of your race about how they deal with the pressure.
If they can help me stop despising my race, then I will gladly do it.
I'm really happy to hear you say that. I think you'll learn a lot by speaking to other people about coping with the pressures of a biased society, while managing to love their race.