It was like I could not even stop gambling.
Why do you think you can not stop gambling?
I want to win back my money.
It must be scary to realize down a huge amount of money and can only get it back by more gambling. You need to seek help if you're gambling gets out of control.
I want to hit it big.
I understand the want to win big, but you seem to be gambling far too much. You really should talk to someone about it and get some professional help.