I don't want to see my dying grandmother
Why don't you want to see your dying grandmother?
She's just an old lady. I don't want to waste my time on her
Dealing with death is difficult but you should still be there for your grandmother while she is going through this. You will regret it if you don't support her and your family wlll think that you are heartless.
I can't handle seeing her die and I want to spend the money on myself instead of going to visit her.
I know that you feel seeing your grandma is a waste of time, but she would really appreciate your love and support and this is your responsibility to her. Think of your grandmother instead of worrying about yourself and your fears will fade away.