I'm going to scold my friend for having dorito fingers
Do you have a problem with cheesey fingers?
I hate when people don't clean up after themselves.
I understand why you would be angry. People should clean after themselves if they are going to be around others.
I'm going to tell him off hard and make him cry.
Making your friend cry is pretty mean. Do you think you could try to gently push him to clean up after himself. Like offering him a wetwipe or handing him a paper towel?