I'm going to make my gf to cry and not apoligize.
That makes me feel rather uneasy. Why are you going to have your girlfriend cry?
I don't like how inadequate I feel and being weak in her eyes.
You're going to do all that just to make her feel vulnerable. You need help, talk to her about your feelings or go find a therapist about your condition.
She needs to make me stronger than I am now.
If you need to feel stronger you should find ways to do that that will not hurt other people in your life.