I'm thinking of drinking a bottle of vodka before heading to work.
Are you serious? Don't you know if you don't before work you could be fired?
I'm not fucking stupid. These are the smart way of doing things.
You shouldn't test your employers like that. They are bound by policies and rules. If you get caught, you will get fired.
Hehe. They don't have any evidence on me and I'm going to get away from this.
They may notice if you show up to work drunk though. Why not just drink after work?