I'm going to point to my mil that she's not a widow
Is there a reason for this?
Let me make it clear, I don't care if she's a widow or not
It's expected that you don't try to hake things up in the family unit. Causing too much distress in the family could create too much stress for everyone and ruin your family.
I get the hint, I will stay out of it.
Yeah there is really no reason to bring things up. If you do so they could feel awkward and distance themselves from you.