I'm going to put my friend on his ass because he grinded a breadstick in my ear.
Is that really worth hurting him over?
Yes, it was very annoying for him to do that to me.
I understand why you feel that way, but hitting your friend isn't going to solve the problem. You should let him know that you're upset about what he did, and try to work it out with your words.
He won't listen, violence is the answer.
You won't know if talking won't work unless you try it. Violence with a friend is something to be avoided. Speak with him and tell him how you feel.