I am an evil person
Why do you think you are evil?
Because I've killed lots of people to defend my country
Defending your country is a noble act, but feeling bad about yourself for it is judgmental. Look at yourself with honesty and see that you are not evil.
That explains why my country supports me and I'm honored. However what will happen to you?
Don't worry about me. You just need to know a solider does their duty and you acted honorably by protecting life by taking it. You saved so many more people than you could imagine.