I'm straight and married, but still crushing on my best friend.
I'm curious if you think it is okay to have a crush while married?
No. Because it has made our relationship a disaster.
You're expected to be loyal to your partner. It's wrong that you have a crush on your best friend. It will destroy your marriage.
I just need someone to love. My wife makes me feel alone.
You have your wife, and if things aren't working out with her then you need to speak with her about it and try to make things right. It's not right to fall in love with another woman while you are still married, and you already know this.