I'm feeling the urge to not work as hard as I do.
Why don't you want to work hard ?
I hate my job and will never be satisfied with the work I do.
You should take break from your work if you're not satisfied with it. It's tiring to work hard for a long time. It's perfectly fine.
What you don't understand is that I had to work hard from the beginning.
I get that you had to work hard from the beginning, but you should make time to have a break. If you overwork yourself it's going to affect your health.