I don't know what to do anymore. I've been lying myself for years
Sounds like you've been struggling. Why do you feel the need to lie to yourself?
I guess I didn't think my friends can accept me for what I am.
Being honest with yourself can make life easier, less complicated, and a lot more beautiful. Speak to someone about your problems and try to get to the root of your emotional lies.
I will try but I'm scared they won't accept me.
I think you should consider finding a therapist to talk about this with. They have seen these issues many times, and can really help you get to the bottom of it.