I'm married and messed up
I'm sorry to hear that. Have you told anyone how you're feeling?
I will tell my husband that I messed up
That's hard to deal with. When you speak to your husband about it, you should suggest couples counseling.
People handle things differently and I like to handle it myself.
I'm trying to say that a marriage is a partnership, you shouldn't be dealing with things on your own. Don't you want your marriage to last and be healthy? How about communicating with him instead of being on your own?