I honestly just don't want to exist
Is there a reason why you don't want to any more?
I feel it is logical to question reality.
If you're having feelings of wanting to take your own life then you should think about seeking help. There are people that you can talk to if you are feeling depressed.
People only change because they're afraid to die. No one keeps you accountable.
Well talking to a professional might help you keep that accountability. They can also help you find a medication that might lessen your overwhelming feelings to keep you stable for a while.