How about if I trespass into my wife's lover's home and confront him, maybe even say or do some things to him I don't think are that nice?
Oh my gosh! Why do you want to do that?
He's made my life a living hell ever since I found out about them. He slept with my wife when she was drunk and horny, and I have to take this action to defend us both.
This man should not have taken advantage of your wife and violated your marriage like that.  However, breaking into his house and assaulting him, even verbally, is a crime that you will end up being punished for if you act this way in response.
I'm going to find him no matter what. I don't care if I have to kill him.
No this is not going to be good for you, this will cause you to go to jail and he is not worth it. Let it go, and let the marriage heal for now. This man is really bad but to kill him is going to be another wrong move.