I'm going to talk behind my friends back
Why are you going to talk behind your friend's back?
I can't even take you seriously
You should treat your friends better, it's wrong to talk about your friend behind his back. If you speak ill of your friend and he winds up finding out he'll be very upset.
He has a secret fetish and he is just so kinky, it's hilarious.
Well I bet her told you that thinking you would keep it a secret. If you go blabbing to everyone he might spill some of yours don't you think?