I want to pop pills and do harder drugs so I can relate even more to the depressing music I like.
How do you think that will help you relate to the music?
I want to feel pathetic and desperation for a meaning to this life.
You should not harm yourself to fit in with a false "persona" that was made for the stage. It is a performance and possible act it is not worth harming yourself for lies.
You don't understand the meaning of life.
I just think it's foolish to want to do hard drugs for such a silly reason.