Can I share something with you? I'm a dumb ass.
What makes you feel like you say something like that?
I feel like a failure because I haven't achieved hardly anything so far in life.
Forgetting things and having difficulty with accomplishing goals is normal, but tearing yourself down for it is destructive. Forgive yourself and be kind and compassionate about your faults.
What am I supposed to be proud of? My whole life is a failure.
That sounds pretty extreme; you're still alive and breathing, so you must've been doing something right. Sometimes we put undue stress on ourselves when we don't achieve everything we think we should have. If the feeling is pervasive and persists, you should consider therapy.