I think the only way I can deal with pain is by passing out and hoping it's not there when I wake up
Why is passing out the best way for you to deal with pain?
My mother had died from this years ago.
Passing out is not the way to deal with pain. I know it is difficult to see as you are going through it, however there are better ways to cope. There are foods that work just as well as drugs and medicine, and exercise is something that can get these feelings out as well.
You can't fix pain and stay away from it forever. Thinking of my loss every day helps me passed out.
I know the pain can be unbearable at times, but relying on pills to be able to get through the day is not good. There are other ways to cope so you can have a better life.