I'm going to hit my friend with a soda can
Why would you hit him with a can?
He has been such a jerk to me. He's rude, uses foul language and abuses me when I hangout with him
Your friend is super rude and doesn't deserve you, but it is dangerous for you to attack back. If he's that hot headed you don't know if he will hurt you ten times worse, so just stop being friends with him instead.
Fuck, I don't wanna be the bad guy here.
I'm glad you don't want to be the bad guy. I assume that means that you won't hurt your friend now.