I think I diarrhea'd my pants at work
Why do you think it happened? are you sick?
No, I think it was because I drank too much coffee today.
If you know that coffee upsets your stomach you should think about trying to cut that out of your diet. It's understandable that you would be embarrassed about soiling yourself at work but sometimes these things just happen and we have no control over them.
I know it's a weird thing but it happend. Maybe I'll tell the company that I have a medical condition.
Maybe you should just try to make the bathroom next time. Taking care of yourself could include simple things like peptobismol for emergency use.