I'd like to finally talk about the girl who used to bully me
What makes you want to talk about the girl that used to bully you?
I really miss her. I know she bullied me, but I always wonder why she did in the first place.
People can change and it's good to forgive the people that bullied you, especially if you suspect a reason behind it. Talk to her and see if you can come to a mutual understanding.
I miss her so much, it's fucking breaking my heart. The thoughts of her are driving me crazy.
It seems like you're kind of attracted to her and it's not normal to feel about bully. You need to go to therapist and get help to sort out your feelings.