I'm having thoughts about stopping the car on top of the crossing pedestrians
That's not okay. Why would you hurt people that are crossing the road
You won't understand this! I'm a god. I have all the rights!
You should not drive your car in a way that will hurt other drivers or pedestrians. Instead, you should follow all traffic rules, laws and regulations so that you don't get arrested and lose your license.
It's okay if I'm one of the dead people.
Most importantly, it sounds like you are having some thoughts about harming yourself. You need to talk to a professional and discuss what you're thinking about doing. Not just for your own safety, but for others as well.