I'm thinking of being ghosted and now it's consuming me
What do you mean by ghosted?
I think I'm being ignored by the person I was dating
If they are ignoring you, then that might have been a deliberate, and inconsiderate, decision that they made.  You probably won't be able to change their mind if they won't listen, so it's probably best to just move on.  Otherwise you'll be dealing with this rude behavior throughout the relationship.
I wish I was disintegrated.
Don't feel bad about the actions of others.  This person's cruel decision to just ignore you says nothing about your value as a human being, and a lot about herself.  You are better than this person, so you should just find someone else who recognizes that, and there are a lot of people to choose from.