I'm going to tell my friend that he is being an asshole
Why do you want to tell your friend that he's an asshole?
Because he is such a selfish person and always acts like an asshole.
Your friend does not sound very kind, but you must like him since you still want to be friends. Tell him how his actions make you feel, but don't use words like "asshole". Try to tell him in a nice way so that you don't ruin your friendship.
I'm going to do it already, he didn't even ask how I feel about having my kids in the hospital.
I'm sorry he's not being very considerate, but I don't think it's best to act the same way he would be. Don't you think it's better to act as the better person, and just try to let him know how he makes you feel?