I'm not going to talk to my father-in-law for years and not tell him why
Why would you do that?
Because he thinks he can control my life and I can't stand it!
He's your father-in-law and you need to get along with him. You should ask your wife to talk to him.
It's fine. I am not going to talk to her about it because I don't want to get her involved. I'm just going to hold a grudge against him till he dies.
It can be hard to deal with in-laws but you have to since they will be in your life for a long while. It would be better to get along than to abandon or ignore them like that for that long.