I gave a horrible christmas present and it haunts me to this day
I'm horrified. What drove you to give them a bad present?
I wasn't thinking, and I was going through shit at the time.
Well, I feel like your friend appreciated the effort if they did not complain so I don't think you should worry about it too much. I would recommend you talk to the person who you gave that present to and if they are liking it or not then that's the time to decide what you would do next.
Fuck this person I wish I never existed when that happened. I know I was an idiot for doing that.
I am quite confused on why you even gave a gift to someone you do not like. I would suggest that you just forget it ever happening and just focus on people you really want to give presents to instead of focusing on people you hate.