I don't want to spend Christmas eve with my homophobic extended family.
Are you sure that they are homophobic?
Yes, they think gay people are an abomination and that they will go to hell forever.
It makes sense that you do not want to spend time with your family if they think like this. While spending time with family is important, that does not mean that you have to if they make you feel bad about yourself.
I can't stand them and never will. They casted out my son for being gay and also think he's going to hell forever.
That is terrible. I probably would not want to spend time with them either if they did this to my son.