I think my table manners like myself are horrible!
Are you sure your table manners are horrible? What makes you say that?
Oh yes. I can't handle my cutlery at all
If you think it is horrible, you can teach yourself to have better table etiquette. That way you won't have to feel bad, and no one will judge you for your table manners if they eat with you in public.
Fine I'll do it, don't worry about me.
I'm proud of you. Personal growth such as that is what makes people mature in my eyes. I think you'll enjoy having good table manners!