I loved my babysitter but was deathly terrified of her
Were you always afraid of her?
I am not entirely sure all I know is I am deathly afraid of her.
I feel like you have something you want to say but can't say it because it might be something serious. There is nothing wrong with speaking your mind. Talk to your parents and see what they have to say.
I can't tell my parents since they don't want to hear it.
If you cannot get through to your parents, then talk to a friend. It's better to talk about your feelings than to hold them inside. If you hold it inside, it might cause mental health issues.