What if I'm not going to let my special needs cousin play the recorder at our grandfather's funeral?
What will be the problem with your cousin playing?
It will be annoying and I think rude.
I hear you, but it is bad to exclude people from family events, especially special needs people. You should be supportive and understanding of their conditions, otherwise the family will resent you as it is not something that can be changed.
Who cares about being nice, I'm the last asshole in the family line.
Trying to stop your cousin from playing will seem rude and inconsiderate. You should show your cousin the same respect that you would want shown to you.