MY ex made me such a mess after she left me.
Is there some kind of connection between your ex and the state you are in?
My ex caused me to feel very insecure
It would be best for you to contact a therapist and discuss your feelings of insecurity. You need closure in your relationship so you can move past it. Your future relationships have little chance for success if you do not get the appropriate help.
No this is fine. I'm going to figure this out.
I will just put it out there again you should not feel ashamed to ask for help. Breaking up can break even the strongest people you know.