I'm not going to tell my bf the extent he physically hurt me
Oh wow, why are you hiding this information from him?
If I tell him, he'll feel bad for not realizing this earlier. I want to tell him, but... I'm scared.
If you're scared, you shouldn't be with this person. He hurt you and you need help. Get out of the relationship.
I don't want to leave him.
Your fear is absolutely something I understand and respect, but you do not deserve to be in an abusive relationship. I strongly suggest that you end the relationship and find a partner that treats you with love and respect. You should not be scared of a romantic partner.