I'm really really crazy. I really never know how or if I can handle my life.
Why would you think this?
I'm crazy and I never know what I'm going to do next. I think I'm fine and then I scare myself by who I can be.
Not being able to adequately manage your interior life is a bad position to be in. Find a mental health professional to help you deal with this or you will lose control of your life permanently.
But someone said therapy is for losers.
Therapy is essential and nothing to be ashamed of for people in your position. Get professional help now.