I want to pick up a small rock and toss it into the wedding cake.
That seems mean. Why would you want to do that?
Because I'm a misanthrope with a dark sense of humor.
Throwing a rock at someone's wedding cake is just rude and you shouldn't do it. The couple and guests are trying to have a nice time at the wedding, and if you throw a rock then you'll be making everyone upset.
That's why I want to do it. I want everyone to look at me and think, who the fuck is this guy hurling a rock into the cake? It will be so much fun.
It won't be fun for the people involved in the wedding. They will probably throw you out if you throw rocks at the wedding cake.