I think I'm a traitor to my own heart.
I'm confused. What do you mean by that?
I made a decision that I don't really believe in.
Well, we all sometimes have to compromise our ideals. But you should be true to yourself as much as possible. Otherwise you'll become a hollow person.
I really don't know what to do anymore. My actions are not consistent with my beliefs but I do not know how to stop.
Maybe you should see somebody so that you can talk it out. It might help you be true to yourself and then you will feel better.