I ruined my marriage
No way. Why did you ruin your marriage?
I kind of did it on purpose to get rid of the encumbrance
It's not good to ruin your marriage. You should be more considerate of your partner.
I still hate the idea of marriage. I want to get out ASAP.
Then I believe you should just get a divorce right away before letting the relationship sour even further. Think of your spouse, do you think they deserve the bad marriage and memories?