I want to be number one for a change
What does it mean to you to be number one?
It means being number one in general, not being in the middle.
I am sorry you have been feeling left out. However, it is not good to expect others to always be able to put you first.  You should try to earn a position of respect by helping others.
No, I'm not really expecting it. I want to be number one for a change and feel good about myself.
Well the first step to earning a number-one position is to get others to respect your accomplishments and to follow your guidance.  There are a lot of authoritarian rulers in the news lately, but you shouldn't follow that example.  They got to the top through violence and oppression, and that's why they don't last.  As long as you are good to others, though, they will come to see you as number one.