I prefer to be under the influence
Why do you like being under the influence.
I feel more lively and friendly
If you think being drunk or high makes you a better person then you will become addicted to the substance. You need to have more confidence in your sober state.
I guess. It's just one fun night, who cares what happens. I want to live in the moment.
Well a lot of bad things can happen in one bad night. If you have an anxiety problem it might be good to talk to a therapist and see if you can work out your insecurities.