Can I act like myself around my friends even if that means I'm a depressed emotional wreck?
Why would you repress your true feelings?
It would be the only way for me to express myself freely.
When you bottle up negative emotions like anxiety and depression, it can cause physical stress on your body. Talk to your friends, or even just a counselor, to take care of your issues now  before they become unmanageable.
I'm going to pretend everything is normal for now.
This will be extremely unhealthy for your and create even more stress on your body and mind. You'll find that when you open up to people, you'll experience a cathartic release of all your emotions and feel quite relieved.