I always feel guilty when I Wendt and now I'm realizing that it makes me the underdog.
Why would you intentionally want to become the underdog?
I'm afraid of success.
Don't sabotage yourself by failing on purpose. You should aim to succeed.
I really want to succeed but I always sabotage myself.
There is no reason to feel guilty about winning, you need to learn to take pride in your accomplishments. The way you're feeling could be due to some underlying mental illness. Maybe talking to a therapist would be beneficial for you.