I know this is weird, but I feel like I am drowning. I think my mental illness is taking me over.
That sounds serious.
I'm in a constant fear about my future.
It's understandable to be afraid of uncertainty of the future but never let it consume your present. If you think you've any mental illness you should seek some professional help. It helps a lot.
I'm going to make the future worse. I feel like I will move to an abusive household.
It's important to get into therapy when you're feeling so bad about your future. There are also medications available that could help you cope better and make more constructive choices.