While my parents were fast asleep, I keyed their car. Don't you think this is funny?
Why would you key their car? Be serious now, don't lie.
They're rude and don't respect my privacy
That was wrong for you to do and you shouldn't destroy property that isn't your own. Your parents would lose their trust in you.
They've never trusted me anyway and it's time to pay them back for all the pain they caused.
They have reasons not to trust you I see. If you keyed their car then it proves they had the right to not give you any privacy. You should confess and pay for the damage, the only way to gain back trust for yourself.