I love my partner but I'm so alone where we live and want to talk to another adult. I'm talking to my ex. I feel like I'm living two lives that one can never know. My ex was the man every other partner had to compete with and my partner is still competing with him.
Did you tell your partner you were talking to your ex?
No. I don't want to hurt his feelings.
It is wrong to talk to your ex and not tell your partner. You should communicate with your partner about how you are feeling.
Nobody is getting hurt here.
Lying is detrimental to a relationship. Imagine how your partner will feel if they find out that you were sneaking around to talk to an ex. It would cause less trouble to be honest about the friendship you still have with your ex.