I'm going to try to drive my asshole coworker crazy
Why would you want to drive your co-worker crazy?
I'm tired of listening to his bullshit excuses every single day for why he doesn't want to work.
It's rude to be mean to your coworkers. You shouldn't be intentionally annoying them.
You're right. I'm going to get him fired instead.
Trying to get on your co-worker's nerves is inconsiderate and cruel. If you are having issues with his work ethics then address them with your boss, but don't try to get him fired either.