I'm going to tell my waiter cousin I made more than him in three hours then he did all weekend
How will your cousin feel when you tell him that?
He wouldn't be able to handle the news
Telling your cousin you made more than him is pretty gross behavior. Why would you want to make someone feel bad about themselves?
I cant handle not sounding like I'm better than him.
I think it's for the best that you try not to undermine him every time you do, especially with how much you make. He's working as hard as he can, so don't you think it's rude to compare wages? It could be better to praise him for working hard and long in such a tiring, underappreciated job.