I molested my cousin. I'm a piece of shit.
Is that the only thing that makes you think you are a piece of shit?
No it is only one of my many issues.
Attraction is complicated but you should avoid being with a relative. It is wrong and she could report you and get you jailed for assault.
I don't like her side of the family, I want her to be uncomfortable.
Just because you don't like them, doesn't mean it gives you permission to molest her. I'm just trying to say that you should stay away from them and not complicate your life any further. How about moving away physically and starting anew?