She said she didn't tell me because it would hurt me.
Did you tell her that it would hurt less if she told you?
People tend to be really bad at communicating their misery, so I have never been hurt by not being told anything by others.
It can be difficult to be honest at times, but withholding information from someone can be even more hurtful. If you're the person withholding the information you could become racked with guilt. If the other person finds out, they'd probably become angry.
Hmm, that's true. I would be more upset about it if I found out by myself.
I guess we just have to take it as a lesson. The ball is in your court. Either you play with it or end it all.