I'm going to humiliate my coworker and see if I can get him fired.
I am surprised to hear this. Why would you want to humiliate him and get him fired?
He spends too much time in the bathroom and won't allow anyone else to use it.
It is not appropriate for you to try to get a coworker fired because of their bathroom habits. You should discuss the issue with him and let him know that it bothers you. Give him a chance to correct the behavior because it's not appropriate to try to get him fired.
But I don't want to continue to deal with him.
It does sound like a lot to deal with honestly but it is not acceptable to take actions that can cause someone to loose their job.