I think I'm addicted to sadness. What can I do?
Why are you addicted to sadness?
I want to be lost in the sadness of my loved one's absence.
You should seek help if you enjoy sadness this much. Otherwise you could end up hurting yourself.
I hate hurting myself.
Even if you won't hurt yourself you still should seek help. A professional will help you get through tho issues that you have.