I don't want to put much effort into our apartment search
Why not put any effort into finding an apartment?
It's simple if we want an apartment we will not be able to afford, we will not find one we can afford.
It's understandable to be pessimistic about a task when you feel helpless about your circumstances, but you should still put effort into getting it done. Otherwise the person you're working on the task on alongside with will have to shoulder all the burden and stress all by themselves.
I'm my own best friend and I will do what I want.
Even so if you need to find a place to live, you need to start searching. You never know what you'll pass up by burying your head in the sand.