I am going to lie about being sober.
Why would you lie about being sober? Are you ok?
I am sick of struggling with sobriety and want to cave but still pretend.
Staying sober can be a challenge for some.   Lying about it is not the best way to deal with it though.  It is okay to ask for help with your sobriety instead.
Maybe, but why not just weed out all the excuses for failure and just do it.
If you are really struggling I would suggest an AA meeting there are people you can talk to who know what you are going through. If you fall deeper in your addiction you could end up in the hospital or die early from liver failure.