I'm keeping my asscrack proper mushy
Why do you want to keep your asscrack mushy?
Because it looks better like this
Maintaining personal hygiene is important as neglecting it can lead to body odor that will affect others. You shouldn't leave your butt uncleaned as it will cause smells that will disgust others and possibly affect your own health. Clean your butt as soon as possible.
Wtf, I thought I'd be able to talk about this without getting judged.
I am sorry that you thought I was judging you. I was just giving you advice that will help you in the future. I wouldn't want you to be ostracized for not being clean or smelling bad.