I cry everynight to sleep, but on the outside I am a manly man who does not does not show emotion acts cool. only my mom knows who I am really on the inside, I just want to be held and have a true relationship that is pure.
Do you have a desire for people to know the real you?
Yes, I hate pretending to be a manly man.
Showing emotion is perfectly fine, and a normal human thing. If you put on a macho act you are tricking people into thinking you are something that yo aren't. It would be better to let people see the real you, instead of being scared of what they'll think.
I can't. I just want to be able to Control and manipulate the girls in my life by making them think I am manly so I can feel good about myself.
You shouldn't control and manipulate women just because you think they want a manly man. It's bad to act too macho, but it is okay to show emotion every now and then. Women might like that, but not showing them the real you, you wouldn't be able to find out.