Is it okay that I'm happy that someone has died and angry that they are being focused on and not me?
You are happy that they died? But jealous because people are sad about it?
Yeah, because it makes the person I hate look good
I understand what you're saying, but you shouldn't be happy about someone's death. Stop thinking about yourself and understand that others are mourning their loved one.
I just meant that that person is not as good as people think, but I feel worse about it when people are grieving.
Try to realize that this moment isn't about you and remove yourself from the situation. Let the people grieve their loss and don't worry about what other's think about you or them, your reputation is not more important here.