I'm not going to even try with my mormon mom
Have you tried before already? Are you thinking of doing it on purpose?
Yes, I'm trying my best to be as bitter as possible. I'm going to serve her a cake full of poison and bad words
I can see you're upset, but you're supposed to accept your family without judgement, regardless of who they are. You should try being more empathetic and understanding, and definitely more respectful, it will earn you their gratitude in the long term and show that you are a good person.
Don't tell me what to do. My mum never gives me the credit card when I'm in trouble and it's extremely unfair.
You sound a bit selfish in what you desire from your relationship. It is necessary that you work on accepting others for who they are and what they can and do want to do.