What should I do? I'm a terrible father but I love my kids more than life. I don't know how to recover.
Is there a reason why you think you are terrible father?
No, not at all. I just don't see it the way it's supposed to be seen
It's good that you want to improve yourself for whatever reason. If you love your kids then you should find out how to continue to improve.
I'm going to offer my kids fresh beef every night. I can be a good dad even if I can't cook.
It's great that you want to increase your parenting skills and be a good father. Parenting is one of the most important jobs in the world.