I'm unhappy and can't help myself without ruining what I already have
What is going on that you are feeling this way?
I have no mental help, I'm lost because I love the man at the same time
It is good you are reaching out for help, you should try a professional. It is good to recognize the mental state you are in. You might feel better after talking to him.
I feel helpless and emotional wreck that I can't think clearly. I need to seek help.
I'm glad you know that you need to seek help especially since you know you can't help yourself. It is the first step to feeling better about your situation and yourself.