I was almost hit by a car and I regret saving myself
Why did you want to get hit?
I'm very bitter towards my family members
If you feel like killing your self you should seek professional help. It is not normal to want to die.
I don't care about people. I have more important things to do.
But don't they care a lot about you? Even if you fight, don't you think they'd feel hurt if you didn't save yourself? Why not try going to therapy and talking to improve your relationship with everyone.