I think I'm lacking discipline, motivation, and vision.
Why do you think that?
I want to change my life for the better, but it's really difficult and I feel bad about it.
It's understandable to want to be able to see your faults and to work them out. Being aware of your faults isn't necessarily bad, instead of looking down on yourself because of them you should look for ways to fix those faults.  This is something that you can do by yourself.
You sound like a communist and in training to become a worker for the Chinese intelligence.
I don't understand how you construed anything I said as being Communistic, but I'll try to explain it differently.  I meant to say that you should be aware of your faults, as that is the first step to fixing them.  Just thinking of ways to improve is the best first step, and you won't need anyone's help with that.