I'm the only reason I haven't jumped off a bridge yet is because of my best friend and my dream
What kind of dream was it?
My dream is to become a wizard, and I want to stay here with my best friend.
It's good to set a realistic goal for the future and to work toward it, perhaps with the help of a friend.  But if you are thinking that you would rather kill yourself, you should really talk to someone who can help you to get over these desires.
I don't want to talk to anyone.
It's understandable that you don't want to talk to someone about your problems. However, if it ends up saving your life then it's worth doing, don't you think?