I have realized how grossly out of shape I am.
What made you realize you are out of shape?
I just tried to put on clothes that have been sitting in my closet for awhile.
Realizing your out of shape probably makes you feel bad, but now that you know you can try to fix the problem. Eating a healthy diet, in addition to exercise, will improve your fitness and the clothes you haven't worn in awhile will fit again.
No fucking way, I'm not changing how I want to eat and I'll continue to do what I want.
I understand it's hard to make so many new lifestyle changes, but it's important to exercise to improve your health. Maybe you can start with small changes that you can commit to everyday that will help you build the habit.