I'm semi-closeted and still soaked in homophobia doubt and shame.
How is your family dealing with this?
They are alright, but I've been lying to them about my sexuality.
Being in the closet is one of the roughest times for a gay person, and I'm sure you are struggling. But you have to tell people eventually, because that is who you are. You will see who is your true family and allies, and then you can build a great support group out of it.
I don't know if I want to do that. I really can't risk my relationship with family.
I understand that you are nervous, and you don't have to come out to your family right now if you don't want to. But they are your family, and they will support you for who you are. If they for some reason don't, then it's good that you found out now so you can find people who will support you.