I messed up my first love in years
Oh no, has this been going on for a while?
Yes, I though about it for months, but I was too lazy to do something about it.
Love is a hard and tricky thing to manage. You might not always get it right on the first try but all you can take from it is learn to be better next time.
I feel bad for him but I'll just pursue other goals, who cares about love anyway.
If you've got other goals that will make you happy, it's certainly fine to pursue those instead of forcing yourself to love someone you don't. If it happens with someone else later that's fine, but you don't need to succeed at love to have a full life.