I'm going to ask in laws to help with childcare costs
Have you asked them for their help before?
I wanted to for years but my husband is too proud.
Raising children is hard and it can be expensive so it is understandable that you might need help. It is okay to ask for help if you need it and it is expected to want to help family.
He doesn't want to help because it make him feel bad. He think I am a bad mommy. It's hard not have a choice.
You are a good mom, you can realize when you need help. Don't be shamed or afraid to ask for it, your work is just as legitimate as his is.