My dishwasher stopped working I punched it out of anger and then it got up off the floor and washed the rest of the dishes.
I hope your joking and you didn't really assault your wife.
I mean this is just a joke. I was being silly and it's not like there's anyone around to be offended anyway.
Don't joke about women being abused at home. Women being in an abusive relationship is a serious concern. Keep a look out for people with strange bruises and call the police to alert them.