I only manage to get through conversations that make me anxious by picturing committing acts of extreme violence against the person I'm talking to.
Do you actually carry out those acts of violence?
Yes I do, and it feels so good!
You need to find some help. It's bad to want to harm people and some counseling would help a lot.
Who is really going to help me? I already hurt these people for real and nothing bad comes out of it. I want to keep doing it.
A trained specialist can help you. If you really feel like you're going to hurt someone you need to make an appointment sooner than later. Any harm that befalls anyone is your responsibility.