I'll give my wife the nickname "record time", so I can beat her
Do you really think it is okay to beat your wife?
I think it's fine because a wife should obey her husband.
Women who are being beaten are going through a hard time and it is not okay to joke about. Making light of a serious topic can be hurtful, just like you would be hurt if people made a joke about something that caused you pain.
If she's a wife then she can get told what to do.
Even in a marriage, you do not have the right to tell your wife what to do, and you definitely do have have the right to physically harm anyone.