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timestamp: 2008-04-01 08:50:09
title: in which a new project is annonuced
tags: projects
id: 107
content: "<p>By looking at my commit logs it will be clear that I haven't really done much with <a href=''>Bus Scheme</a> recently. I was having a lot of fun with the project early on, but as of late my enthusiasm has abated. I could chalk it up to the fact that Scheme is such a simple language that I'm running out of things to do. But I think the real problem is that it's too easy. Where's the glory to be had in a Scheme interpreter? The entire spec only runs about fifty pages, and it's been done before! The urge for a challenge is sadly left unmet. Plus as is common knowledge, nobody actually uses Scheme in the real world. [<a href='#fn107'>*</a>] It just wasn't working out for me in spite of myself.</p>\n\
<p>With that in mind I am determined I shouldn't have these problem on my next project. I'd like to announce the launch of <a href='file:///dev/null'>Unicycle Java</a>:</p>\n\
<blockquote>Unicycle Java is an implementation of the Java Programming Language&trade;, but implemented while riding a unicycle. Note that at all the implementation of Unicycle Java must be written while riding a unicycle. Documentation, tests, and administrivia may be accomplished elsewhere, but all actual implementation code is strictly unicycle-driven. Unicycle Java is an Enterprise-grade[<a href='#fn107b'>**</a>] piece of software, suitable for highly scalable, performant, demanding deployments.</blockquote>\n\
<p>There isn't any code that's ready to be made public yet, but we will be sure to post progress on here as it approaches a usable state. The first task will be to procure a unicycle, so please <a href='/contact'>send a message</a> if you have any leads in this direction.</p>\n\
<dl> <dt>How will you write code while riding a unicycle?</dt> <dd>We haven't figured out all the details of how this will work, but we are looking into getting a kind of laptop-harness. Luckily unlike bicycles, unicycles do not require use of the hands, so typing is actually somewhat feasible.</dd> <dt>What about type safety?</dt> <dd>Always wear a helmet.<dd> <dt>Will Unicycle Java have closures?</dt> <dd>Of course! Unicycle Java is a powerful modern programming language, not a toy like BASIC.</dd> <dt>Is Unicycle Java going to make stability a priority?</dt> <dd>Since unicycles are by nature not very stable, it would be virtually impossible to do this. We believe this is simply one of the costs of unicycle-driven development. However, Unicycle Java comes with a remarkable new technology called JavaLids that will keep things safe in the event of a systems crash.</dd> <dt>Will it be possible to run Unicycle Java in the same environments as Bus Scheme?</dt> <dd>Do not by any means attempt to try this. Riding a unicycle in the bus lane is foolhardy and dangerous.</dd> </dl>\n\
<p>Unicycle Java is an important part of a balanced breakfast.</p>\n\
<hr />\n\
<p>[<a name='fn107'>*</a>] - It's been theorized that all the parentheses get clogged in the Tubes due to their elongated nature. XML's angle brackets are acceptable as long as they get oriented pointy-end first before transmission, but since parentheses are round and slippery this is much more difficult.</p>\n\
<p>[<a name='fn107b'>**</a>] - Not really. Get over yourself.</p> "
tags: projects