Allow disabling deformable_detr kernels

[danieldk]

What does this PR do?

This brings back support for the disable_custom_kernels option and automatically disables the deformable_detr kernel when using torch.compile (since it is not supported yet by the kernel).

Fixes # (issue)

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Who can review?

@qubvel @ArthurZucker @LysandreJik

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