Saved comments don't have the URL linking to the post anywhere in the archive?

[FowadIjaz]

I have downloaded a couple of comments, and the json files have a lot of information in them, but one thing I can't find is a permalink to get back to the original comment. Is it not saved in the metadata? To me it seems like very valuable information to include, because I would rather read the comment in a webpage than in the json format.

Thanks in advance for any suggestions. Here is an example output json file:

{"author": "ForeverInBlackJeans", "id": "iwobp6x", "score": 12041, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Self deprecation. \nIt starts as just jokes to break the ice in social situations. Then it becomes a form of sarcasm ingrained into your everyday speech. Then it becomes a true depiction of how you see yourself and it spirals into depression.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668653932.0, "parent_id": "t3_yxa8k1", "replies": [{"author": "Its_Curse", "id": "iwowh7f", "score": 3199, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "The cool thing is you can do it in reverse. I had shitty self esteem but I joked about being hot shit long enough that I started believing it just a little bit. Just enough.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668665973.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": [{"author": "VivRosexoxo", "id": "iwp7kmi", "score": 840, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Came here to say this! Literally just say you are the best in the entire world in a sarcastic joking way and it has the same comedic value without damaging your mental health or pushing it so far is awkward.\n\nI started doing this to, it took a little while, probably a couple years honestly (but that's undoing like 10 years of self-depreciating) and as of the past couple months I feel so damn good about myself and my life, even if things aren't perfect I don't care cause I love myself. \n\nI highly, highly recommend this tip.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668675049.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": [{"author": "UnlawfulStupid", "id": "iwps6t3", "score": 22, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I worry that I'd get some kind of complex doing that. I grew up being told to not be proud of myself or ever think I'm better than anyone, and ended up becoming ashamed of my strengths, and only able to highlight my weaknesses. If I were to try the opposite, it'd probably fuck me up just as badly, just in the opposite direction; one which I wouldn't be able to pull off.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668690768.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp7kmi", "replies": [{"author": "CamVanDamage", "id": "iwpwdqd", "score": 23, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "And you'll hear half the world, plenty of them on this site (minus some really good communities), downing you for thinking highly of yourself. The good ones will look at you and smile for seeing the love resonate. Love yourself and love others, and if anyone has a problem with that, they are the problem", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668692968.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwps6t3", "replies": []}, {"author": "Rip_Nujabes", "id": "iwpyg5p", "score": 13, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I know what you mean, but your self depreciation is showing in that exact thought I think. I once heard something kinda applicable to this I think. It was about narcissism and how you might find some similarities in your own behaviour which might make you worry you're a narcissist, but that self reflection most likely means you're not a narcissist.\n\nSimilarly I think you're hyper aware of your flaws, whether they're real flaws, exaggerated or imaginary. I don't think your awareness of your flaws will dissappear because of increased sense of self worth and confidence, but rather help you reframe how you think about your exaggerated and imaginary flaws. Hopefully also learning to accept your flaws in a constructive way.\n\nI understand your concern, but personally I think you'd benefit from what the poster above said. (And ideally a therapist)\n\nSource: my ass, I'm not a medical professional, but my unprofessional medical advice is seek a medical professional when possible.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668693978.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwps6t3", "replies": [{"author": "UnlawfulStupid", "id": "iwq10dh", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I suppose it's mostly unfamiliarity breeding apprehension. Many people get experience as kids when they could tell their parents they did a good job, or they aced a test, or they won something, but all I ever got was admonished for bragging if I brought it up and trained to never be proud of myself. Eventually, I lost the ability to say anything good about myself.\n\nThough I have gotten better, I can still only do it in ways that don't speak to my strengths. I'm good at keeping calm in an emergency, for instance. That's about the extent to which I feel comfortable talking positively about myself, and I kind of struggled to come up with that one.\n\nYou're right in that I *should* learn to change, but it's hard to do so and makes me feel like an asshole to even try. You're also right in that I should probably talk to a therapist about it, but I've had horrible experiences with therapists and don't want to waste any more money on them for now.\n\nI do have some ideas in mind to work on this myself, and have been slowly trying, but it's not going to be easy. So far, it's actually been seemingly impossible.\n\nThanks for the advice. I'll keep your words in mind.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668695164.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpyg5p", "replies": [{"author": "Its_Curse", "id": "iwsj583", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "It really felt very awkward to switch over to it for the first couple of months, maybe even a year of doing it. I was so used to everyone putting me down, even me. I absolutely have not gone so far that I became a narcissist and I started doing this like, 15 years ago, there are still tons of things I know I'm not great at and I really don't think I'm the coolest dude in the world. I still make the same \"Yeah I could beat The Rock in a fist fight nbd\" or \"Of course I'm the best at writing, who could ever compare?\" Jokes, and it's still just me being a goof and my friends laughing at the hyperbole, except it's not reinforcing the years of bullying and emotional abuse like self deprecating humor does. It worked to break me out of harmful cycles that I was putting myself in. I still work every day on making myself a better person, I still have flaws, it's just much easier to also recognize my strengths and point them out to myself. :) \n\nWhy don't you try it out for a bit! If it's not for you, just stop. Ezpz.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668732379.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwq10dh", "replies": []}]}]}, {"author": "Serious_Association5", "id": "iwqrd11", "score": 6, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "my dad tried to teach me the same thing, and doesnt show up to support me for things because he is against feeling prideful. Just feel pride. Choose to embrace the pride. It's so much better than not showing up for yourself.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668705982.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwps6t3", "replies": []}, {"author": "PiniataLad47", "id": "iwptlxh", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I have the exact same worry.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668691538.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwps6t3", "replies": []}, {"author": "Adept-Reserve-4992", "id": "iwrqblc", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Maybe just add a bit where you tell yourself, \u201cI\u2019m worthy of the same kindness and admiration I show to other people.\u201d", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668719754.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwps6t3", "replies": [{"author": "richardhendricks99", "id": "iwtlgrc", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "This ! thank you", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668752824.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwrqblc", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "CrazyGods360", "id": "iwpzlhv", "score": 0, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "\u201cI am better than you.\u201d It\u2019s that easy.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668694523.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwps6t3", "replies": [{"author": "UnlawfulStupid", "id": "iwq144t", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I think the only one I could ever say this to would be my dog. He's an asshole, so it's fine.\n\nNot all dogs, though. I can't compete with a border collie.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668695211.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpzlhv", "replies": [{"author": "LeagueOfLegendsAcc", "id": "iwq2lrp", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "The trick is to be joking about it. Say it sarcastically until it becomes habit. And then it will slowly become less sarcastic.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668695872.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwq144t", "replies": [{"author": "CrazyGods360", "id": "iwq59q9", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "People think I\u2019m sarcastic about wanting to punch drywall, but I wanna punch some drywall.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668697030.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwq2lrp", "replies": []}]}]}]}]}, {"author": "munk_e_man", "id": "iwppj4h", "score": 9, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Same here. I used this to gain self confidence. I learned that people were actually intimidated for me, possibly because of my height or my resting bitch face, and that when I made self depreciating jokes it broke the tension and put people more at ease with me and improved my social relationships and by proxy my self confidence.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668689271.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp7kmi", "replies": [{"author": "HippoPrimary5331", "id": "iwpqsix", "score": 18, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "You seem to be recommending the opposite to the person above....", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668689991.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwppj4h", "replies": [{"author": "ConsumerMad", "id": "iwpu09j", "score": 7, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Yeah, I had to read it twice because I thought I missed something.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668691751.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpqsix", "replies": []}, {"author": "munk_e_man", "id": "iwpvjju", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Oops yeah I was pre-coffee mode and misread ops comment", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668692550.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpqsix", "replies": []}]}]}, {"author": "catr0n", "id": "iwqcefk", "score": 7, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "These jokes are funnier too! It can always be a tad awkward when someone makes a joke saying they are terrible, but is always funny when they call themselves a god or smth", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668700030.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp7kmi", "replies": []}, {"author": "Ovuvu", "id": "iwqmc8b", "score": 7, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I am known as the guy at work who always goes: \n\"that is definitely going to work!\"\n\"Everything is under control\"", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668704005.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp7kmi", "replies": []}, {"author": "The_Jaxophone", "id": "iwq1hoe", "score": 5, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I used to make self depreciating jokes all the time. It didn't cause depression, but I was depressed anyways and it certainly didn't help. I can't remember where I saw this tip, but I figured it could help a little. When I'd make a mistake at work, I'd tell my colleagues that I'm perfect and I never make mistakes, making huge dong jokes instead of micropeen,  etc. It's actually quite amazing how big of a difference that small change was able to make over time. Sure every now and again I make the occasional one still, but I'm in a way better place than I was a few years ago.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668695381.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp7kmi", "replies": []}, {"author": "Sushigami", "id": "iwpv2xp", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I flip between the two at random. The only thing you can be sure of when talking to me is that I'm not telling you anything *true*.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668692311.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp7kmi", "replies": []}, {"author": "loonygenius", "id": "iwpwb3r", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I'm not confident I can do this after having a psychotic episode and truly believing I was the Divine Feminine Goddess and creator of the universe. I'd freak my friends out and myself \ud83d\ude01 I am actually working on self-worth for real, and self-trust, as a way to believe in myself again", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668692933.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp7kmi", "replies": [{"author": "ConservativeSexparty", "id": "iwpywqx", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I believe in you! You're working hard to improve your life and yourself and that is awesome. I'm sure people in your life believe in you too, hopefully they can share some of that hope with you too.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668694198.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpwb3r", "replies": [{"author": "loonygenius", "id": "iwq1gl1", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Thank you. I'm highly sensitive to any form of invalidation but feel balanced in my support system so I am getting there. The hardest part is losing the connection to my work after doing that for 14 years so the prospect of job hunting when my confidence is so low is stirring up a lot of grief but I understand it is for the best to have a new challenge!", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668695367.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpywqx", "replies": [{"author": "ConservativeSexparty", "id": "iwq2opm", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I've been struggling with job hunting and the loss of confidence in it myself too this year and I understand how hard it is to keep being hopeful and pushing forward.\n\nIf I can offer you an alternate viewpoint, you have been a professional in what you do for 14 years already and you've mastered it to the point where what you do gives you no satisfaction from the challenge anymore.\n\nFinding something more challenging is a bit daunting after the comfortability of the norm you're used to, but you're strong enough to seek a challenge instead of staying in a job you feel is getting stale. Not everyone has that strength and courage, but you do. When you meet the possible challenges ahead, you're meeting them because you believed in yourself enough to seek a better life, you badass.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668695907.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwq1gl1", "replies": [{"author": "loonygenius", "id": "iwq6yxd", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "That made me cry, thank you Internet stranger! I'm working on believing that my story around work is that \"I'm looking for a new challenge because I've achieved everything I wanted to achieve\" even though I haven't, but like you say the time period invested makes it look like I have. Well, I have in many ways intellectually. The only thing left is to sell to get the financial payout (and living security) I've been dreaming of, but I guess ultimately it shows I'm not really motivated by money because that's the only thing left to achieve and it's causing the most resistance now \ud83d\ude02 I've just journalled your message \u2764\ufe0f", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668697770.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwq2opm", "replies": []}]}]}]}]}, {"author": "DELETED", "id": "iwpza68", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I relate to this.  Changing the way I talked to myself provided me with a new outlook, which led to changed actions and behaviors.  Also highly recommend this tip!!", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668694376.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp7kmi", "replies": []}, {"author": "Gavmoose", "id": "iwqeyjj", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I\u2019ve found this comment and the replies to be really encouraging, thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I\u2019m not sure where my hesitation comes from in being more positive with my self talk. I think it\u2019s a mix of being raised with a message of humility being the most valuable virtue, or if it\u2019s because I tend to get envious of people who succeed and harbor resentment when they brag about it. Wish I could change my negative qualities on a dime but your comment and the replies illustrate that it takes time. Do you (or anyone in the comment chain) have some specific examples of how to start small? Saying I\u2019m the best at something feels like I\u2019m being dishonest with myself, is that kinda the point? Thanks so much again, y\u2019all are kind redditors", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668701054.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp7kmi", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "intripletime", "id": "iwp3hkf", "score": 439, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Straight up, non-ironic, completely serious, top ten life tip. Do this!", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668671493.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": [{"author": "Beliriel", "id": "iwp3lwe", "score": 26, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Too many adjectives, I interpret this as sarcasm.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668671592.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp3hkf", "replies": [{"author": "intripletime", "id": "iwp3vvj", "score": 51, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "To be clear, not sarcasm. I tried this several years ago and I will be an ambassador for it until I die.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668671829.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp3lwe", "replies": [{"author": "PromVulture", "id": "iwpkud4", "score": 9, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "My ex-gf got on my case about me seeming full of myself for doing that.\n\nNow that I kicked her negative ass to the curb I should start doing that again", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668686289.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp3vvj", "replies": [{"author": "CharlieVermin", "id": "iwpsq25", "score": 4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I've seen so many old-timey fables and adages about people being too proud of themselves, as if that's a serious widespread issue, when in real life I see so much more of the opposite. People acting like it'd make them a horrible person to pat themselves on the back just once. Even narcissists seem more focused on putting everyone else down than on propping themselves up.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668691062.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpkud4", "replies": [{"author": "handcuffed_", "id": "iwq1s9z", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Different time.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668695513.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpsq25", "replies": []}]}]}]}]}, {"author": "Pokez", "id": "iwq1phm", "score": 4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I\u2019m the best thing since sliced bread, and the problem is we don\u2019t upvote the comments where people are positive about themselves.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668695478.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp3hkf", "replies": []}, {"author": "Responsible_Isopod16", "id": "iwqcmh3", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "if i wasn\u2019t already peak masculinity i would, unfortunately you can\u2019t improve perfection lol", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668700120.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp3hkf", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "magictherapy", "id": "iwp82hq", "score": 19, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Might start trying this. Gonna be rough though, my brain has an aversion to confidence.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668675494.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": [{"author": "Toocoo4you", "id": "iwp9423", "score": 15, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Ever heard the term fake it till you make it?", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668676459.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp82hq", "replies": []}, {"author": "FreezeFrameEnding", "id": "iwpmcdx", "score": 9, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "It will probably feel weird or phony at first, but just keep at it. It's a mindfulness technique that legitimately helps recalibrate your brain. It's a practice, too, so don't feel too bad if you forget sometimes. Just try to remind yourself to answer back positively when your inner voice tries to tell you something negative. I had to start doing this when I was a teenager growing up in a situation that gave me a PTSD diagnosis, and I truly do believe it saved my life. Please, please, keep at it. I say this as someone who has grown up with no confidence, no self esteem, no belief I could have value, but this practice started to change that. \n\nEach of us has a mirror inside of ourselves reflecting our thoughts. Without a mental avatar standing with the mirror to give an answer to what it is reflecting, the mirror will start to only echo back the negative. We all need an internal avatar answering back. Even the visualization of it can be helpful, though you might end up making your own visual to help. That's another technique that works.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668687295.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp82hq", "replies": []}, {"author": "DELETED", "id": "iwq03qv", "score": 5, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Nah, that's just the imposter syndrome talking.\n\nYou're actually brave enough to make comments.  You're already in the group of the something tiny like 5% of all redditors who even leave a comment.\n\nYou're doing it in a pretty public space, on probably the biggest subreddit on the site, in a thread with thousands of comments, some with hundreds to thousands of upvotes.  And, at least eleven other people found your comment worthwhile at this time.\n\nYou've got the foundation already.  Speaking out in a public forum without fear of the consequences is the first major step.  Just build it up one step at a time.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668694757.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp82hq", "replies": [{"author": "magictherapy", "id": "iwsz0np", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "It's more the fear of crossing from self confidence to arrogance.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668739931.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwq03qv", "replies": [{"author": "DELETED", "id": "ix3hzh9", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "In total fairness, its a pretty long bridge from all the way on one side to the other.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668952396.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwsz0np", "replies": [{"author": "magictherapy", "id": "ixgflbh", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Yea. My brain doesn't get that. \"Better avoid all of it. Just to be safe.\"", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1669185077.0, "parent_id": "t1_ix3hzh9", "replies": []}]}]}]}, {"author": "Its_Curse", "id": "iwsmxv3", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "It's REALLY awkward at first but it definitely gets easier! It's amazing how much better I felt not putting myself down with jokes constantly. Once you get used to saying \"I'm the best ever\" with a straight face, saying things like \"I'm pretty good at my hobby\" or \"I'm competent at my job\" for serious seems easier, you know?", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668734200.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp82hq", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "callzor", "id": "iwp8p7e", "score": 13, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Fuck yes. Its insane how just acting like you\u2019re awesome and feel good MAKES you feel good and in turn makes you more attractive. Its like an upward spiral", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668676075.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "excel958", "id": "iwp4cp9", "score": 7, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Honestly I started doing this too and it makes me feel more positive.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668672227.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "shrugea", "id": "iwpe4yk", "score": 6, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Yeah, self-aggrandizing. Draw a 2 second stickman \"ah yes, a masterpiece, Leonardo da Vinci doesn't even compare\" The more extreme the better, I used to say such mean things about myself and this was one of the best ways to quit that habit, I could still express my sarcasm and joke about myself but without actually hurting my feelings. I've even come to realize there's a grain of truth in my melodramatic praise, I'm able to recognise that yeah, I am actually somewhat good at things. Not a master, but satisfactory.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668681047.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "tRFRmrNe8Nj2Kimc", "id": "iwpw69m", "score": 5, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I needed to hear this. I've been trying to improve my self-esteem and stop hating myself for over half my life.\n\nEvery therapist I talked to has told me I need to practice \"positive self talk\" but whenever I try, it always feels so hollow and disingenuous. \n\nBut when you put it as \"joking about being hot shit\" that is something I can actually wrap my brain around. That's something I think I can do.\n\nThank you for sharing this.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668692866.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": [{"author": "Its_Curse", "id": "iwsf0tk", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Yeah it feels SUPER AWKWARD at first and that's kind of why it's funny? It gets easier the more you do it, and at some point after you've replaced the negative humor with the positive humor you look around and it's like \"wait, maybe I am a little cool?\"", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668730471.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpw69m", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "Comprehensive_Data82", "id": "iwpc671", "score": 4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "This honestly works wonders. Started doing this a few years ago and it changed my life", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668679287.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "PirateBushy", "id": "iwpoeku", "score": 4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Self-aggrandizing humor is funnier anyway, IMO", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668688594.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "Full_Increase8132", "id": "iwq6ofd", "score": 4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I kind of try this with other people. I noticed the guys at work would just make jokes about the other guys having a small dick. So I started doing the opposite. Just quick, no homo, jokes saying the dude coworker is packing. Eventually it was less penis focused and just general compliments in joke form. \"That's why the ladies can't get enough of this guy!\" \"Slow down! You're making everyone else look lazy!\" Stuff like that. It kind of caught on except for one dude who really wanted to keep saying other guy's dicks were small and took to calling everyone gay who would give the joke/compliment. I'm pretty sure that guy just had really bad self esteem (and probably a little dick).", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668697645.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": [{"author": "Its_Curse", "id": "iwsom86", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I totally love this, it's so cool the work group picked up on it and made the vibes better", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668735000.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwq6ofd", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "DELETED", "id": "iwp8dr8", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "[deleted]", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668675783.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": [{"author": "FreezeFrameEnding", "id": "iwpmuvs", "score": 5, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "There's a difference between puffing yourself up and telling yourself basic kindness. A lot of people don't have the latter at all so it's a helpful practice to speak to yourself positively. It is a practice everyone should be able to do. Being egotistical is another issue altogether. It's important to be humble, but it's also important to love yourself, and people do need to engage in this technique (suggested by therapists, which we should trust more) because their brains do not have any positive echo in there. It's like having someone with you at all times reminding you that you are nothing and deserve nothing. You don't want to wallow in your pain, and you don't want to puff up your ego, but you should want to love yourself. Part of that is telling yourself the positive things you have not been hearing otherwise. It's a balance. Personally, I refuse to embrace the insecurities instilled in me by my parental figures. All of my siblings and cousins have sufferend from similar issues. If you're told you're nothing growing up then you do have to spend time deprogramming that. This is one of the ways you do that.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668687628.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp8dr8", "replies": [{"author": "DogeCatBear", "id": "iwq67py", "score": 4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I agree and I feel that the comment you're replying to has definitely missed the point. it almost comes off as preachy. it's one thing to occasionally crack a joke. it's another thing to be a narcissist. sometimes when I solve a problem a toddler could probably solve, I'll say something along the lines of \"god I'm such a genius.\" that's not overcompensating, that's sarcasm. I know that there are plenty of people that are more knowledgeable than me. that's what makes me feel prideful about the things I do know. it's how I \"embrace my insecurities\" as they put it", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668697444.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpmuvs", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "a_tatz", "id": "iwpkk9l", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "So how does the difference between embracing them and overcompensating look?", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668686092.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp8dr8", "replies": []}, {"author": "Its_Curse", "id": "iwsfybj", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Nah man, I'm not embracing my bad self esteem from years of depression, bullying, and abuse. I've cracked the code and love myself now \ud83d\ude0e", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668730895.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp8dr8", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "thecygnetcmte", "id": "iwprg78", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "My favorite is \"as you can see, I'm very smart\" whenever I say something that's incorrect or ask what feels like a dumb question. Reminds me that yeah, I *am* smart; just because I didn't know this particular thing doesn't mean I don't know other things.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668690362.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "Baboobalou", "id": "iwpt7k4", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "This is how I turned my life around too.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668691325.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "jhuskindle", "id": "iwq01nt", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Dead serious same. I started reframing EVERYTHING. Someone called me ugly? I would say well then you are about to fall in love with an ugly girl. Someone say my stickers are childish? Well then you will probably learn to embrace your inner child cause IM A TRENDSETTER BABY. Now this is my NATURAL reaction. I also did this with being defensive. Especially at work. If there is a mistake, did i do it? Doesn't matter, I will take the burden of this responsibility and fix it. Now I am naturally open to criticism in a way i wasn't before and mistakes are dealt with with compassion, just as I'd do with my child. It took a lot of practice but it really pays off. Also I'm a trendsetter so hopefully others pick this up \ud83e\udd23\ud83d\udc85", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668694730.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": [{"author": "richardhendricks99", "id": "iwtn6fw", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "love this", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668754117.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwq01nt", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "DELETED", "id": "iwq5r14", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "You are right. I\u2019m glad it worked for you.\n\n&#x200B;\n\nSame thing happened to me. I adopted \u201cfake it til you make it\u201d as my mantra at 18. I had no self esteem, no prospects, and periodically thought about unaliving myself. Then I adopted the mantra. I would say it under my breath five times in a row every day before going to uni, then after a few months I found I didn\u2019t need to say it to psych myself up to walk in. I would say it five times before making intimidating phone calls, before going to the gym. Eventually I started saying it whenever I was feeling bad about myself, and it started to help. A lot.\n\nEventually this led to me developing confidence and no longer feeling like a human shit stain. It really works. I\u2019m pushing 40 now, have a family, successful career, lots of friends. Fake it til you make it saved my life and gave me the amazing life I have now. It really works.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668697240.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "seasonedfivetimes", "id": "iwq94gs", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "same here. PPD hit me like a truck after having my son. after a couple of months, i began requiring my thought. it started with \u201ci\u2019m doing these jeans a favor!\u201d and it went on to everything. i might\u2019ve looked crazy always saying that i loved the way i looked but it helped me a ton with my self image and self esteem.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668698686.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "Sylvairian", "id": "iwqliid", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "...we can do that?", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668703681.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "sayracer", "id": "iwpckch", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I managed to do this coming out of high school and didn't even realize what I had done until I had a very strong self confidence!", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668679637.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "sniperhare", "id": "iwpmp0q", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I've gained too much weight to do this to myself.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668687525.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": [{"author": "Its_Curse", "id": "iwsnduy", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Your weight is only a facet of yourself. While you shouldn't feel too bad about it, it's okay to want to improve in that department. I am sure you have a wealth of other positive traits to totally over exaggerate for comedic effect!", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668734410.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpmp0q", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "AndyJack86", "id": "iwpousa", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "So this is what my therapist meant by \"fake it till you make it\"", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668688868.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "A2ndFamine", "id": "iwpt3kv", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I don\u2019t think that would help me, I don\u2019t like lying and saying that elephants have 15 legs and fly around on winged motorcycles would be less of a lie than thinking that I\u2019m not a worthless, useless, lazy waste of oxygen with little to no hope of redemption or finding anyone except my parents who could even slightly love me.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668691265.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "vivavivaviavi", "id": "iwq8j8d", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "God I never thought about this - feels like a Eureka moment now.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668698439.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "Ecstatic_Ostrich_151", "id": "iwqx5df", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Thing is, positive self-talk just feels like I'm lying to myself, which is also unhealthy. If I say something positive about myself I just gag at how stupid I am for thinking that.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668708227.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": [{"author": "Its_Curse", "id": "iwspil1", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "It feels weird at first for sure", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668735430.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwqx5df", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "syrrusfox", "id": "iwrao0k", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I tried that and it ended with a friend making a Twitter bot that replied to every single \"I'm feeling good today\" tweet with something awful about me.\n\nHe won.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668713558.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": [{"author": "Its_Curse", "id": "iwtlca0", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Doesn't sound like a friend to me. I'd ditch that ass permanently and go back to living your best life.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668752732.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwrao0k", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "Denworath", "id": "iwpq75t", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Been doing the same, but I probably overplayed it. When I asked a girl out (this is like 10 years ago) she refused without much of a reason. 2 years later we kinda messaged each other and I asked her why, she said she thought I had a girlfriend and just wanted to play with her. I was super lonely at the time having just moved into the country a few years prior.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668689653.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "catniagara", "id": "iwpryk2", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "It\u2019s so weird but everyone disagrees with me no matter what I say. If I say I\u2019m ugly they (angrily) say I\u2019m beautiful and vice versa. Self deprecation works for me because it makes people compliment me.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668690642.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "DELETED", "id": "iwp9dvw", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Really?", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668676717.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "JustinJakeAshton", "id": "iwpcmuk", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "You pygmalion'ed yourself?", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668679698.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "zerolifez", "id": "iwpnme6", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Yep it's ingrained in my self at this point. My coworker jokingly said anything I said can be construed as a boast. Even a simple thing as me saying my work is done can be thought as me boasting how fast I work.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668688106.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "RedBugz007", "id": "iwppkxd", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Kanye?", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668689301.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "Joran212", "id": "iwpqzbk", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I'm kinda doing both at the same time, depends on the situation. Maybe that's why I literally don't understand how I feel anymore...", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668690097.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "ConsumerMad", "id": "iwptrd7", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I'll have to try this. My dad's put me down my whole life and now, with his Altzheimers, he's even worse. You start believing the bad things before the good.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668691620.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": [{"author": "Its_Curse", "id": "iwsns5l", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Yeah I was bullied as a kid and my home life was pretty toxic. I tried it one day and it seemed to help, so I kept up with it! I know you have wonderful qualities. Getting used to saying \"Yeah I'm the best ever\" with a straight face for humor makes it a lot easier to say \"I'm good at my hobby\" or \"I'm competent at my job\" for real, it's like it knocks a barrier down.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668734599.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwptrd7", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "OliwerPengy", "id": "iwpv2tw", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I actually do both somehow", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668692310.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "w33dcup", "id": "iwpw4b8", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "It really is amazing how easy it is to be confident in both what you know and what you don't know.  Confidence is a choice.  But be mindful of not crossing the arrogance line.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668692839.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "Capitalpunishment0", "id": "iwq015k", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Everytime I try to do this, it almost always bites me back. Happy it worked for you", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668694723.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "Stnkftsailor", "id": "iwq10id", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I have the strength of 10 men.    \n\n\nProbably a 20 fold exaggeration, but very useful.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668695166.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "GaraBlacktail", "id": "iwq4i72", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Should try doing that.\n\nOnly issue I can see is it going towards mania, and that making me make stupid decisions, like buying twitter for 44 billion", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668696698.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "McMotherlover", "id": "iwq63n0", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Oh I did this and now I'm a raging narcissist.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668697395.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "daddydilly694-20", "id": "iwqe4um", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Did the same thing, when I was growing up (and now, sometimes) I was picked on for being unattractive. My immediate response to being called ugly, is as follows:\n\n\"Bro, I'm literally the sexiest person I know\".\n\nThe saying \"fake it, till you make it\" has some merit.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668700723.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "SenoritaBrownRecluse", "id": "iwqldfh", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "They say fake it til you make it.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668703624.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "linguicaANDfilhos", "id": "iwqzxqo", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "This did not work for me. Ultimately, I felt more like an imposter and further depressed me.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668709327.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "AliJoof", "id": "iwr80rp", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I generally like to go wildly to both extremes.  Keep people guessing.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668712512.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}, {"author": "dopechez", "id": "iwrkbwj", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "\"I'm kind of a big deal\".", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668717387.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwowh7f", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "slipperycanaloupes", "id": "iwonl0q", "score": 1515, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "You gotta start changing your material after a while cause then it just makes people uncomfortable and the cries for help become a little too obvious lol", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668660242.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": [{"author": "ForeverInBlackJeans", "id": "iworkqj", "score": 209, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Completely agree. I had a friend like this. We were admittedly sarcastic and dry-witted in our banter but he kept taking it further and further until it just got sad. All he would ever do is talk about how miserable and insufficient he was in every possible way and it became really awkward and depressing to be around him.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668662651.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwonl0q", "replies": [{"author": "BIOHAZARD_04", "id": "iwoxmty", "score": 60, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Man my GF does this all the time, and she\u2019s talked about her problems, but she doesn\u2019t want to go to therapy.   Because of this, whenever I\u2019m having a nice fun conversation with her she just kinda keeps throwing in self-deprecating comments and it just gets really awkward, especially after I just complimented her.   it feels\u2026   idk not quite offensive but definitely in poor taste.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668666826.0, "parent_id": "t1_iworkqj", "replies": [{"author": "LameBane", "id": "iwp5rj7", "score": 37, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Alright I know how you feel, but lemme add, that we don't know any better. My partner and I do the exact same thing and I've grown to realize it. But the reason we do that stuff isn't because we want to or choose to. It's because we feel like we don't deserve the compliment for one reason or another. People like us aren't out to make everyone unhappy with those kinds of comments, we are just insecure and not sure how to express it \ud83d\udc99\ud83c\udf08", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668673446.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwoxmty", "replies": [{"author": "alex891011", "id": "iwpomhr", "score": 28, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Yea but constantly bombarding people with self loathing puts the onus on them to make you feel worthwhile.\n\nSelf satisfaction comes from within", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668688727.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp5rj7", "replies": [{"author": "Mx5Moogly", "id": "iwq5skg", "score": 4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": ">Self satisfaction comes from within\n\nyeah, for healthy people. We can't expect highly skilled, healthy behaviors from people who aren't there yet. Thats why you gotta be careful picking partners - two half people don't make a whole couple.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668697258.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpomhr", "replies": []}]}]}, {"author": "youlple", "id": "iwpm8n0", "score": 5, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I recently went to relationship therapy with my girlfriend and it helped her see that getting her own therapist can be beneficial, and might even be very important. \n\nI completely get you, after a while it gets annoying to just listen if they don't want advice. So look into it maybe, then you're doing something for both of you instead of her feeling like you're forcing therapy on her.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668687225.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwoxmty", "replies": []}, {"author": "TerrifiedSongbird", "id": "iwp0xng", "score": -13, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "The complete lack of empathy in these comments is shocking.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668669390.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwoxmty", "replies": [{"author": "DAS_UBER_JOE", "id": "iwp1bzv", "score": 62, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Empathy has limits and everyone has their own mental health needs. Its unfair to expect people to always want to be around people at the detriment of their own mental health. After a while it can be very difficult to be empathetic towards people that do that. \n\nEmpathy fatigue is a real thing and you have no right to be upset at people looking after their own mental health.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668669712.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp0xng", "replies": [{"author": "Beliriel", "id": "iwp3g09", "score": 20, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Yeah, Reddit is very \"Me\"-focused. Just like how they're recommending to basically every relationship problem to break up or divorce.  \n\n> Nah man. Their problem is not yours. Just walk the fuck away and leave them to their darkness. Not your issue.  \n\nI get that you shouldn't burn yourself down. But seriously having issues with a selfdeprecating girlfriend or friend? Like tf? If you're oh so much better in life just maintain your boundaries. You really don't have to break up or walk away from that.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668671456.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp1bzv", "replies": [{"author": "Esper589", "id": "iwpltl5", "score": 9, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "If your partner has genuine issues with self image, and every small mistake they make (that might not even *be* a mistake) turns into a massive issue and they wallow in self loathing afterwards, you are well within your right to walk away.\n\nI will be as supportive as physically possible, but the only person who can change their self image is themselves. \n\nYou may think this sounds cruel, I did too and hated myself for a while, however until you're in that situation you don't realise it's not as easy as just being supportive. You have to look after your own mental wellbeing too.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668686947.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp3g09", "replies": []}, {"author": "Thatmopedguy", "id": "iwpe3u2", "score": 9, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Breaking up or walking away is maintaining your boundaries.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668681020.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp3g09", "replies": [{"author": "chubbycat96", "id": "iwpq760", "score": 8, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Yep, especially if you\u2019ve tired out all your options to get them help/help them.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668689653.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpe3u2", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "TerrifiedSongbird", "id": "iwq3qpg", "score": -4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I don't get it either. People on reddit act like doing *anything at all* involving benefit of the doubt to people who clearly need it lmao. \"Save yourself, just let everyone else fuck off and die.\"\n\nYeah real fuckin wonderful society our world has made with all this individualism, guys.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668696371.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp3g09", "replies": []}, {"author": "DAS_UBER_JOE", "id": "iws9ahf", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I don't quite think you understood the meaning of my comment. If breaking up is what you need to do for your own mental health, than there should be no shame in that. Being made to feel like another person's mental health is your responsibility to fix is unfair and, quite frankly, manipulative.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668727868.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp3g09", "replies": []}]}]}, {"author": "ForeverInBlackJeans", "id": "iwqiu4y", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "You can empathize with someone but you\u2019re not obligated to be a soundboard for someone\u2019s deteriorating mental health when they refuse treatment.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668702605.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp0xng", "replies": [{"author": "TerrifiedSongbird", "id": "iwqk09s", "score": -4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "You also don't have to go on reddit and whine about how your GF is bumming you out. Y'all going on about boundaries, just fuckin' walk away if you're that bummed out.\n\nI'm so glad to know that the severe crime of it *being awkward* is enough to make most redditors completely shut down and not even offer a single kind word.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668703074.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwqiu4y", "replies": [{"author": "ForeverInBlackJeans", "id": "iwqwvwi", "score": 4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Sounds like you\u2019re projecting some insecurities.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668708123.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwqk09s", "replies": []}]}]}]}]}, {"author": "Latter-Pain", "id": "iwoz8x5", "score": 14, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Definitely how a \u201cfriend\u201d responds to another reaching out for help.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668668050.0, "parent_id": "t1_iworkqj", "replies": [{"author": "CharlieVermin", "id": "iwpr8ht", "score": 7, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "If only they'd actually \"reach out for help\" instead of doing the exact opposite as soon as someone tries to take them seriously. Some people are actually just waiting for someone to notice. For other it's near impossible to make them open up in any substantial way.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668690244.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwoz8x5", "replies": [{"author": "Extaupin", "id": "iwpw1hw", "score": 5, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Dear diary\n\nDay 300 of making depressed jokes until someone tell me to go to therapy. They don't suspect a thing.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668692800.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpr8ht", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "ForeverInBlackJeans", "id": "iwqi9xk", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "You\u2019re making a lot of assumptions. Some people know they need help and still refuse. You can\u2019t help someone who doesn\u2019t want help but you can stop being a soundboard for the pity party.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668702382.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwoz8x5", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "No_Manager_9199", "id": "iwozl3v", "score": 9, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Poor you. Imagine how he must feel if he actually believed those things.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668668315.0, "parent_id": "t1_iworkqj", "replies": [{"author": "ForeverInBlackJeans", "id": "iwqi0z3", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "There was a lot more to it. He was in love with me and knew I didn\u2019t feel the same so he used it as bait to try to illicit sympathy in hopes it would make me feel differently about him. It didn\u2019t.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668702282.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwozl3v", "replies": []}, {"author": "wigsternm", "id": "iwqv8g3", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I\u2019m not your doctor. If you break you arm then I\u2019ll drive you to the doctor. That\u2019s what friends are for. What I won\u2019t do is hang out with you playing video games while it turns purple and you complain about the pain expecting me to somehow produce pain killers and professionally splint it for you. I am not a doctor. \n\nMental health is the same way. I can help you on your journey to recovery and stability, but I cannot be a substitute for professional help and I can\u2019t pour my efforts into a bottomless pit. I have my own mental health to worry about.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668707483.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwozl3v", "replies": [{"author": "DELETED", "id": "iwqzbtm", "score": 0, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "[deleted]", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668709087.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwqv8g3", "replies": [{"author": "wigsternm", "id": "iwr19aa", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Because aspirin doesn\u2019t fix a broken wrist? What metaphorical painkillers am I supposed to have around to treat a medical emergency? Again, I\u2019m not a doctor. You can\u2019t have my antidepressants. \n\nBeing a good friend is assisting with recovery, not indefinitely bearing your burden for you. Mental health burdens are taxing. If you\u2019re expecting your friends to comfort and console you regularly while you do nothing on your own to make things better you\u2019re being selfish, and should start seeking real help. \n\n>don\u2019t be one of those crying \u2018I wish they\u2019d have come to me\u201d\n\nThis is exactly what I mean. You imply that peoples friends should feel guilty if they kill themselves. What a ridiculously high burden to put on someone that never asked to be placed in a life or death friendship. You don\u2019t have a healthy view of friendship, you have a parasitic one. \n\nHealthy friendships help people move towards healthy. They aren\u2019t to provide hospice care, palliative and unchanging.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668709843.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwqzbtm", "replies": [{"author": "DELETED", "id": "iwr3r3l", "score": -2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "[deleted]", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668710824.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwr19aa", "replies": [{"author": "wigsternm", "id": "iwr3ync", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "For a headache? What? Did you actually read any of my comments? Why would a headache be turning purple?", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668710907.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwr3r3l", "replies": [{"author": "No_Manager_9199", "id": "iwr5n0l", "score": 0, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Idk I thought you had a different lingo to me,or a typo and expressed that your not going to play video games all night till you saw purple and if your friend needs an aspirin then your gonna be like no fuck off im no doctor. Oh but you\u2019d drive them to the doctors if they broke their arm.. that\u2019s kinda what I got from the first para.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668711560.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwr3ync", "replies": []}]}]}]}]}]}]}, {"author": "ZetsubouZolo", "id": "iwp648t", "score": 8, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I might be turning into such a friend right now, whoops", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668673764.0, "parent_id": "t1_iworkqj", "replies": []}, {"author": "wannabenikkisixx", "id": "iwp0oow", "score": 5, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Sound like every conversation I have with my brother", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668669185.0, "parent_id": "t1_iworkqj", "replies": []}, {"author": "Substantial_Yam_6639", "id": "iwpsuka", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I also had a friend like this, but I feel like if they\u2019re taking it to that extreme, they probably need help.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668691131.0, "parent_id": "t1_iworkqj", "replies": [{"author": "ForeverInBlackJeans", "id": "iwqghdu", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Definitely.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668701662.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpsuka", "replies": []}]}]}, {"author": "TheFlipanator", "id": "iwort3g", "score": 22, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I have a friend who uses self deprecation and allusions to self harm as her go-to response to negative stuff. And she fancies herself a comedian, so all of it gets couched in a bunch of \u201coh, I was just joking\u201d\u2026 But man\u2026\n\nI get that it\u2019s a trope, but either get help or cut it out for a sec. There are some of us out here actually struggling, and talking about >!killing yourself!< as your only joke is harmful at the most and just simply exhausting at the least.\n\nI guess I haven\u2019t talked to them since they got married and had their baby, so maybe they\u2019ve gotten better\u2026 I just, like you, wish they had new material lol", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668662798.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwonl0q", "replies": [{"author": "Admirable_Ask_5337", "id": "iwovvw9", "score": 43, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Bud, doing that is my coping mechanism for venting those emotions, and your friend might have been doing the same", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668665548.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwort3g", "replies": [{"author": "Deetboy", "id": "iwoypss", "score": 21, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I'm not here to say whether or not that's a healthy coping mechanism, but just because it's how the friend copes does not mean it can't be intrusive to others.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668667643.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwovvw9", "replies": [{"author": "Mx5Moogly", "id": "iwq5znl", "score": 4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "> I'm not here to say whether or not that's a healthy coping mechanism,\n\nbut you are here to tacitly state that your friend isn't \"Actually struggling\" as bad as you are. so annoying lol.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668697345.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwoypss", "replies": [{"author": "Deetboy", "id": "iwwrpxm", "score": 0, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Point to where I said that they weren't struggling.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668812375.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwq5znl", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "CharlieVermin", "id": "iwps3fx", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I can say it then - it's totally not. Verbal self harm, physical self harm, many kinds of drugs, sometimes they're the only solution at the moment, but bad enough coping methods end up causing way more problems than they solve.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668690717.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwoypss", "replies": [{"author": "Admirable_Ask_5337", "id": "iwpyaou", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Its actually helped me not feel that way because I already have that stuff in my head, and venting it out let's me have less bouncing around in my head and thus makes it a good coping mechanism. Granted I also talk seriously with my friends about my issues to.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668693905.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwps3fx", "replies": []}]}]}, {"author": "GSUGinger", "id": "iwoyv9s", "score": 9, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Yeah, they would probably find you exhausting lol", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668667761.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwovvw9", "replies": [{"author": "Admirable_Ask_5337", "id": "iwpydza", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": " I mean it's not the only humor I do, so they dont.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668693948.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwoyv9s", "replies": []}]}]}]}, {"author": "cipherpancake", "id": "iwp5us6", "score": 19, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Absolutely agree. A handful of years ago, I realized how self-deprecating and pessimistic I had become towards myself. It started out as the typical self-deprecating joke, but eventually over time it was my go-to humor and manifested into this negative self-image of myself. I realized how bad it had become, and somehow was able to make a change. I\u2019m not even sure how I got out of that headspace, but I really hated being that way and wanted out. Now I don\u2019t feel the need to make a deprecating joke.\n\nSelf-deprecating jokes can get out of hand if left unchecked, because before you know it, you don\u2019t see it as jokes but actual self-truths and that\u2019s toxic for your self-image.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668673527.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwonl0q", "replies": []}, {"author": "penguin17077", "id": "iwp0iyt", "score": 13, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Maybe help them then?", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668669058.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwonl0q", "replies": [{"author": "alex891011", "id": "iwpoz7l", "score": 19, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "It is incredibly difficult to help someone who does not want to be helped. \u201cJust help them\u201d is the same type of advice as \u201cjust get rich\u201d.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668688940.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp0iyt", "replies": [{"author": "Puzzleheaded-Run5917", "id": "iwppwn2", "score": 12, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "\"Just decide to be happy\"", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668689486.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpoz7l", "replies": []}, {"author": "penguin17077", "id": "iwr4xrt", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "True, but they don't exactly sound like they tried. Fair enough if they won't accept the help", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668711285.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpoz7l", "replies": []}]}]}, {"author": "The0nlyMadMan", "id": "iwpjp7s", "score": 8, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "?? I find this very bizarre. How can a cry for help be \u201ctoo obvious\u201d? Doesn\u2019t that mean that you should.. I don\u2019t know, help them?", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668685486.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwonl0q", "replies": [{"author": "CharlieVermin", "id": "iwprmq2", "score": 6, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "It's \"too obvious\" if they don't want to be helped, cause then they have to go through the effort of declining and insisting it's fine. It's not right, but that's what it is.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668690460.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpjp7s", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "electramor", "id": "iwp1gkz", "score": 6, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "not to mention even as a joke it bleeds into your psyche", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668669815.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwonl0q", "replies": []}, {"author": "dw796341", "id": "iwplgwl", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Lol a cashier asked me how I was last night and without thinking I said still alive, so not that great but thanks.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668686715.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwonl0q", "replies": []}, {"author": "PeekyCheeks", "id": "iwpre5r", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I think it sucks more when your obvious cries for help are ignored. They\u2019ll just laugh and be like \u201cyeah haha you *should*  kill yourself dude! Funny shit!\u201d", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668690330.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwonl0q", "replies": []}, {"author": "ziggerknot", "id": "iwpxjdh", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Yeah, been going through a rough patch this year, my buddy called me out on why all the suicide related jokes. Couldn't bring it up at that moment but that evening we ended up talking about it...", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668693535.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwonl0q", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "Calcifiera", "id": "iwohrbw", "score": 163, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Oh look it me", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668657026.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": [{"author": "DELETED", "id": "iwolouv", "score": 32, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "No clearly he's talking about me because I suck more as a person.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668659151.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwohrbw", "replies": [{"author": "madmaxturbator", "id": "iwoswtw", "score": 11, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "^(*I must have resolve. For my sake, but also for this persons sake, we shall break this cycle*)\n\nYEAH THATS RIGHT U FUCKIN IDIOT UR THE ONE WHO SUCKS", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668663504.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwolouv", "replies": [{"author": "WhatIsThisSorcery03", "id": "iwox2m7", "score": 10, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "HEY DON'T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT; EVEN IF IT'S TRUE, I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO TALKS TO ME LIKE THAT\n\n^(*Hmmm, I hope I wasn't too harsh on the guy, he seemed nice*)", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668666403.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwoswtw", "replies": []}]}]}]}, {"author": "-Knivezz-", "id": "iwon473", "score": 152, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Used to be in a subreddit like that, and holy fuck my mood got three times better after I left it", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668659968.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": [{"author": "notsoreallybad", "id": "iwpetc4", "score": 10, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "my mood has greatly improved since i started detesting mental illness memes. after i started finding them annoying i started getting out of the subconscious mindset of \u201cthis is normal and i don\u2019t need to get better\u201d and started being more \u201cthis is awful and i need to improve my life because this isn\u2019t something to glorify\u201d", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668681626.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwon473", "replies": []}, {"author": "kristyisasissy", "id": "iwp8fol", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "What's the sub you are talking about", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668675833.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwon473", "replies": [{"author": "Toocoo4you", "id": "iwp97lt", "score": 19, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "r/2meirl4meirl, its such a shithole, just people anti-bragging about how suicidal they are thinly veiled behind the sheer black curtain of a meme format", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668676552.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp8fol", "replies": [{"author": "Ill-Meeting7644", "id": "iwpkp1v", "score": 9, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Well there is r/2meirl42meirl4meirl\n\nWhole lot worse", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668686186.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp97lt", "replies": [{"author": "CharlieVermin", "id": "iwpt1fq", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Arguably. This one's blatant enough that it might just be better.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668691233.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpkp1v", "replies": [{"author": "Ill-Meeting7644", "id": "iwq99ix", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "It\u2018s nice for venting. It\u2018s where you go when you don\u2018t have a therapist and just need to let it all out without fearing consequences or stigma or some shit", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668698746.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpt1fq", "replies": []}]}]}, {"author": "unpopularperiwinkle", "id": "iwp9edj", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Just leave them be", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668676730.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp97lt", "replies": [{"author": "Toocoo4you", "id": "iwp9n6w", "score": 15, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I am, that\u2019s why I don\u2019t go to that subreddit, didnt join to that subreddit, don\u2019t post on that subreddit, and both of these comments are not on that subreddit.\n\n2meirl is a garbage self hatred echo chamber, why would I willingly put myself through that?", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668676953.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp9edj", "replies": [{"author": "No_Manager_9199", "id": "iwpewdg", "score": 4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "It could be a release for those who are suicidal. To not feel alone. As someone who deals with depression and anxiety, all the leaflets say talk to family and friends, get help, news flash!! \nThere isn\u2019t much. It\u2019s the blind leading the blind in most cases. \nSo get over yourself, some people have been through abuse, walk around and wear a mask constantly hiding pain just because you can\u2019t understand it doesn\u2019t mean it isn\u2019t there for a reason.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668681698.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp9n6w", "replies": []}]}]}]}, {"author": "Shikogo", "id": "iwp8n2f", "score": 4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Probably /r/meirl or /r/toomeirlformeirl", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668676023.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp8fol", "replies": [{"author": "DELETED", "id": "iwp94h0", "score": 5, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Or maybe r/2meirl4meirl", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668676470.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp8n2f", "replies": []}, {"author": "I_Smoke_Dust", "id": "iwpygpi", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Also r/depression. That one is fucking bad for the mind, unsurprisingly though obv.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668693985.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp8n2f", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "Z______", "id": "iwq32di", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I'd assume something like r/meirl or r/2meirl4meirl", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668696073.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp8fol", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "BlastFX2", "id": "iwq5f2i", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "me too thanks haha", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668697095.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwon473", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "Admirable_Ask_5337", "id": "iwovyhz", "score": 71, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Inverse. I got depression first, and use the jokes to vent the depressive thoughts", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668665599.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": [{"author": "Beliriel", "id": "iwp3s57", "score": 16, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Yeah like what is up with these comments. Like they're pretending you get depressed from joking about yourself. Lol no it's pretty much all cope because a lot of people never get appreciated.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668671741.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwovyhz", "replies": [{"author": "NDR_NDR_NDR", "id": "iwpv3c7", "score": 5, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Maybe you don't get depressed from the jokes, but sometimes they are the first symptom, even before you realize you are depressed. You may read a self-deprecating joke, think \"haha, that's kinda how I feel, too\" and somehow not realize what mental state is behind that joke. Only after repeating jokes upon jokes you start doubting your mental wellbeing, and you may end up believing that the repeated jokes caused your depression, even if it was there from the start.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668692317.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp3s57", "replies": [{"author": "Admirable_Ask_5337", "id": "iwpykci", "score": 5, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Thing is I have enough self aware to have long realized why I relate to self deprecating jokes.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668694032.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpv3c7", "replies": [{"author": "NDR_NDR_NDR", "id": "iwq5uor", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "And that's a good thing, but unfortunately there are too many people that struggle a lot more with recognising the signs of depression. In those cases, it's up to the close ones to tell them what's hiding behind the jokes. I think the increasing social awareness about mental health is helping more and more people come to the same realization you were able to come to on your own.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668697284.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpykci", "replies": []}]}]}]}, {"author": "ImKal_", "id": "iwptv5m", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "This for me.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668691675.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwovyhz", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "SnowComprehensive256", "id": "iwoo8x7", "score": 25, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I agree! When you say negative things about yourself, you are almost hypnotizing yourself. That perception becomes your reality", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668660631.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "J3sush8sm3", "id": "iwoml8h", "score": 16, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Damn bro, why do you have to hurt my feelings?", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668659669.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": [{"author": "foxsimile", "id": "iwp0n67", "score": 4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU!", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668669150.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwoml8h", "replies": [{"author": "KellyJoyCuntBunny", "id": "iwp598v", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "My man and I scream that at each other all the time. That was from the golden age of drug PSAs. Right up there with, \u201cthis is your brain \ud83e\udd5a. This is your brain on drugs \ud83c\udf73. Any questions?\u201d", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668673005.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp0n67", "replies": [{"author": "Conscious_Payment_69", "id": "iwpkfw4", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Llajaqohsbd?", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668686007.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwp598v", "replies": [{"author": "KellyJoyCuntBunny", "id": "iwpqsi9", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "?", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668689991.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpkfw4", "replies": []}]}]}]}]}, {"author": "darien_gap", "id": "iwp3imj", "score": 10, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "This one's tricky. It's more like a multiplier of whatever lies beneath. If someone's low on self-esteem, self-deprecation digs the hole deeper. But for someone who's confident, it's anti-boasting and paradoxically builds them up higher, both internally and socially.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668671517.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "wayfaringlens", "id": "iworr5j", "score": 7, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I tried self deprecation once, but I wasn\u2019t very good at it :(", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668662765.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "ncdyoshii", "id": "iwovdjk", "score": 8, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "hahaha ha ahahah ha\u2026 ha\u2026. oh\u2026. oh god what have i become\u2026", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668665185.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "realreinjurings", "id": "iwoncxw", "score": 6, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Oh :(", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668660111.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "acecatmom98", "id": "iwox4w6", "score": 5, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Agreed, once I stopped making self deprecating jokes I actually stopped hating myself!", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668666452.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Oxajm", "id": "iwovrhs", "score": 4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Have a friend like this. Honestly, it's hard to be around him in group settings. One on one, my friend is amazing.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668665460.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "luke37", "id": "iwp2qar", "score": 4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I actually had to sit down a friend of mine who would do this all the time, and be like \"This needs to stop. I wouldn't think it's okay if anyone else said a tenth of the things about you that you say about yourself.\"", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668670857.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "izzittho", "id": "iwotebb", "score": 4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "That\u2019s really key with it - sparingly it works, but if it\u2019s your go-to every interaction you just make it awkward.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668663822.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "jajmacska", "id": "iwoveuk", "score": 4, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "When I started reading your comment I thought it was very familiar and interesting, and that I'd try to pin myself to where I am in this process. And every step I was like, yep, sure I do that. When I got to the end, I remembered that I *have* been diagnosed with depression. \ud83e\udd26\u200d\u2640\ufe0f", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668665211.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "ELeeMacFall", "id": "iwov1ov", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "It can go the other way. For me it was just a socially acceptable way to express how I had been conditioned to think of myself.\n\n...It's still not entirely not that.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668664952.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Shelvis", "id": "iwow7zp", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I\u2019m actively working on this in therapy and it is not easy. If anything goes wrong in my life my go to is just to belittle myself and basically try to make myself feel worthless and like I deserve it or it\u2019s my fault. I wasn\u2019t always like this and it sucks because after so long it\u2019s really hard to get out of this mindset :(", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668665786.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Stolpskott_78", "id": "iwp00zo", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Welcome to Sweden", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668668662.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "DELETED", "id": "iwp297q", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I like a good self roast every once in awhile. But there's gotta be like, a set up. Its so awkward when the whole joke is \"ahahaha I hate myself\"", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668670472.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "rdocs", "id": "iwp52s1", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I think you got it backwards,it starts as reflection of yourself as humor to use as misdirection a way to keep people seeing you from how you see yourself,it becones less of a tangent overtime.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668672846.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "CharlyBucket", "id": "iwpk33y", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "This was me when I was younger. Until one night I was out with a group and I made a joke about myself. A little while after one of the more popular guys (I'm a male too) pulled me aside and with the most serious face was like \"dude, don't talk about yourself like that. Don't put yourself down. You're better than that. We all like you for who you are. And you should too.\"\n\nThat one conversation changed my life. And I wish I could go back and thank that guy.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668685763.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": [{"author": "ForeverInBlackJeans", "id": "iwqgr5d", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "This is positive masculinity and we need more of it in the world.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668701771.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpk33y", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "trooper7085", "id": "iwpnz7s", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I dont agree. My depiction of myself was shit long before I made jokes about it. The jokes are my coping mechanism not my cause.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668688328.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "honest-miss", "id": "iwq9454", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Self deprecation can fuck up your relationship with other people, too. It means you stop believing them when they tell you something nice, or you need them to constantly tell you nice things just to survive. And if you get critical feedback? Oof, hits right in the soul. Because you've been doing nothing but living without armor, showing your real insecurities and handing them to anyone and everyone regardless of whether or not they're *safe*. Vulnerability is often good, but it matters who you're vulnerable with, and how. This kind of vulnerability only makes you feel raw.\n\nAlso, for some folks the deprecation stays focused on them, for other folks it gets doled out to others, too. Self deprecation ties into being hyper critical. And being hyper critical is easily turned around on others. Angry at yourself for not meeting standards, angry at others for not meeting standards. (That's not *always* true, but if you're like me and have an extremely critical parent who will joke about their own bad behaviors in a self deprecating way... you'll know what I'm talking about. Being a dick isn't absolved just because you've decided it's not hypocritical because you're just as dickish to yourself.)\n\nThis stuff doesn't just hurt you. it hurts people around you. Your relationship with yourself is so warped that it ends up warping your perception of others and how they love and care for you. And that perception warps your behavior, which actually *does* hurt the relationship. You've got to be careful with this stuff. It's not harmless just because you think you're the only one hurting from it.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668698682.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "aoba123", "id": "iwom82r", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I do this constantly. It\u2019s not like I\u2019m wrong though", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668659460.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "xlews_ther1nx", "id": "iwov3i9", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Honestly it seems to be the only way to be taken as a genuin person on social media. Look at reddit. If you post a picture of yourself and say man I'm looking good today...5 upvotes. Post same picture with caption \"im not the best looking person, there lots of thing I don't like about myself but here I am\" = 100k upvotes, \"your beautiful!\" \"So brave!\"\n\n Not just saying pictures, but anything. Social media demands you prostrate before them before you get a carrot.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668664989.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "woodenpudden", "id": "iwp0goq", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Ya, ha.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668669007.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "CurtisJaxon", "id": "iwp1cgk", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Holy shit... I think you just gave me an insight into a spiral of self hate that I've failed to understand the last few years...", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668669721.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "feeblemindedrugfiend", "id": "iwp2dij", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Didn't see it, and yes it does creep up on you.Didnot realize how I got hear, and yes it does end up as depression.Its a fuckin shit realization, but ta anyway", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668670566.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Piggybank113", "id": "iwp3nh2", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I'm in this picture and I don't like it", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668671632.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Valvolt", "id": "iwp3xal", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "This 100%, best comment imo, and a very very dangerous addiction", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668671864.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "181Cade", "id": "iwp61vi", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Someone once told me to talk to myself like I was talking to my 10 year old self or 5 year old self, because part of them still lives in you. You wouldn't say to the child you, \"god, you're a fucking idiot\", they'd probably cry. But as adults we dont cry as much now because we've experienced a lot of shit, but it doesn't mean it doesn't effect us.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668673706.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Kilexey", "id": "iwpapdv", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I figured out a trick in my first year of university. I was always the one who was constantly criticising myself (in a bad way) and self depreciated.\n\nOne day, after observing one of my classmates, I realised that I could still criticise myself AND not self depreciate. The trick was to react to something in the opposite way by being comical.\n\nFor example if you are having a shitty day and a close friend of yours ask how is it going, you can say \u201cits the best day of my life\u201d in an exaggerated way. This way, (hopefully) they will understand that its a bad day but you are tricking yourself and others that the day is actually better than it feels.\n\nIt took me 2 years to be confident in this \u201creverse\u201d thing but the friend helped me gain a new perspective and I am glad that I met him.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668677932.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Wanderlusxt", "id": "iwq3z52", "score": 2, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Lol yeah it\u2019s super annoying. Sometimes I\u2019m like \u201cwhy do I judge other people so much\u201d and then I\u2019m like wait I judge myself the exact same amount\u2026 at least I\u2019m not a hypocrite? Whenever I make a small mistake I\u2019ll be like \u201cI\u2019m such an idiot lol I\u2019m so stupid\u201d since I\u2019m worried that the other person next to me will like judge?? Me?? Idk. They end up just being confused as to why I would say that. I am literally the worst to myself in my head I don\u2019t really know how to stop it. I don\u2019t really think the sarcasm is why it\u2019s happening though cause I don\u2019t talk to people that often I just hate myself :/", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668696475.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "rlong60", "id": "iworzss", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I would stop telling self deprecating jokes but they\u2019re the only thing that makes me funny.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668662915.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "PlasticCupboard007", "id": "iwpf5ba", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "the reverse fake it till you make it", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668681912.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "PCouture", "id": "iwph0w4", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "My abusively feminist divorced mother used to reward my older brother and I when we'd be self deprecating in anti-masculine ways. Weak men in movies were targeted and we'd replicate it. Putting on dinnertime shows where the one that made her laugh the most was rewarded cuddling next to her during evening TV time. The other had to lay by themself. This was all to make her happy and we grew up thinking it was ok.\n\nMy father took us to Florida for Disney World and we did this record yourself in StarTrek adventure where you cosplay a starship and fight klingons. In the middle of filming my brother goes full into 'acting' mode and slaps himself full across the face to the point it left a bruise. Everyone just stops and asks if he's ok but he didn't understand why they were concerned. Dad started talking about therapy with my mom but she was good at blocking doctors from looking at us. She had to be in the room every appointment so nothing came up.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668683448.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": [{"author": "ForeverInBlackJeans", "id": "iwqgyjm", "score": 3, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "That\u2019s not feminism. That\u2019s just child abuse.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668701854.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwph0w4", "replies": [{"author": "PCouture", "id": "iwrgzch", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Yup my therapists have said it's called Emotional Incest and a hallmark of a Narsastic Sociopathic parent. The parent believes it's their child's responsibility to take care of them and will commit these acts of abuse to make sure they always get it.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668716063.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwqgyjm", "replies": []}]}]}, {"author": "AlphaMale3Percent", "id": "iwpsreb", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Gee It\u2019s almost like depression is in your own head created by your own doubt and negative thoughts about yourself.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668691083.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": [{"author": "ForeverInBlackJeans", "id": "iwqgjrs", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "In part. There\u2019s far more to it than that.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668701688.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpsreb", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "skuzzlebutt36", "id": "iwoz040", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Happening to me rn", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668667863.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Artemis3721", "id": "iwozdvy", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Currently at stage 3 of 4", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668668157.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "bl1tzzz_", "id": "iwp23w1", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "ouch... i feel personally attacked, u perfectly described me\ud83d\ude2c\ud83d\ude2c\ud83d\ude2d", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668670351.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Bcatfan08", "id": "iwp2ju4", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "You ain't kidding.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668670708.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "youreyesmystars", "id": "iwp333e", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I'm really having to work on positive self talk, especially about myself. I try to say affirmations when I'm super anxious or on the way to work. I have also occasionally written an affirmation (as a form of discipline I guess?) 100 times and I say it out loud a lot as I'm hand writing it. It's not easy, but it's a habit that I must break if I want to get better mentally.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668671156.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "spenway18", "id": "iwp3l2m", "score": 0, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Then it becomes me at my birthday party saying \"Ah, no but seriously Ill probably end up dead in a ditch before too long\" and meant it.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668671573.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "JackHyper", "id": "iwp4cb4", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I have started to avoid these jokes. I also used it as an excuse to make these jokes on others. I thought if i deprecate myself, noone else can hurt me and then im in the right to do it to others. I regret this", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668672218.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "yhtoN", "id": "iwp4ces", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I changed my self deprecation jokes into jokes that are more of a compliment than an insult towards myself.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668672221.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Alyeanna", "id": "iwp54km", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Currently suffering from Stage 4 Self-Deprecation, I concur.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668672892.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "SuperGekGuy", "id": "iwp6ev8", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I miss the comfort in being sad - kurt cobain\n\nMiss the misery - dave grohl", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668674028.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Mylaur", "id": "iwp6o3n", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Self deprecation is quite addictive, especially when others laugh. But I just stopped doing it when I realized it was really not helping.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668674253.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "rocker12341234", "id": "iwp6pdl", "score": 0, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "jokes on you, it was already a true depiction of how i sore myself before i started joking about myself... bullies get bored quickly when you shit on yourself way more and show them you see yourself way worse than they do.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668674284.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "MiniB68", "id": "iwp8vuj", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Fuck.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668676248.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "alexc0901", "id": "iwp9bdq", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Yep, this was how I made friends in school, now I hate myself", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668676650.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "floof3000", "id": "iwpbdns", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "You are my Ex?", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668678563.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Double-Drop", "id": "iwpcjao", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "There is no humility in self degradation", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668679611.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Old_Man_Heats", "id": "iwpcm57", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "It\u2019s called being British :(", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668679680.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "IWillEradicateAllBot", "id": "iwpdvdt", "score": 0, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Like anything, good in moderation.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668680811.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Astandsforataxia69", "id": "iwpf82c", "score": 0, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "That's not how it works, you have a depression to begin with. Self-deprecation isn't some gateway drug", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668681977.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Czecanaia_1313", "id": "iwpgv5a", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "This is fucking legit. I started going through this kind of thing around 2017 when I joined certain groups in fb. Its kinda cope up mechanism bcs it felt like there's other people like me, sharing your thoughts and took it just a joke. I thought even though I always belittling myself, I was still okay. That I'm still functioning. That I'm still productive. Until pandemic happens, then this self deprecation literally engraved through my system to the point that my depiction in life was blur. It affects my work, my socialization, my whole being. I cut myself out to everything. I disconnect. I disassociate. I develop severe anxiety it turns out into depression. I can't even break the shell. It was hard too get through when you used to live in years with this kind of mindset. Every night before I sleep, my brain automatically tells myself that \"I deserve this, I am the one to blame, I sucked at everything\". It feels like curse. \n\nTo the people who are at the early stage of this, try to get your ass out as quickly as possible before it eats your thoughts and consumed you whole.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668683320.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "mountingconfusion", "id": "iwpjm7z", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "This, I started doing the opposite and exaggerating how great other people did stuff, now me. Wasnt doing Terrible before but am feeling better more often, it's probably unrelated but is noticeable", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668685425.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "somalipilates", "id": "iwpk4kc", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to anger. Anger leads to suffering", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668685792.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "St0lf", "id": "iwpkocv", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "when I came home from uni to live with my parents, I started a \"self deprecation jar\", where we'd pay 0.50\u20ac each time we said \"am I dumb?\" or things like that. It's scary how unhealthily common it used to be.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668686173.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Amanderka", "id": "iwplocu", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Holy shit. Yes. I'm there.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668686851.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Wonderlustish", "id": "iwpmwz2", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Conan is that you?", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668687664.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "I-Got-Trolled", "id": "iwpnqea", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Thankfully it went the other way for me :)", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668688177.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "DELETED", "id": "iwpqc6f", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Hah...oh shit thats me", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668689733.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Robot-duck", "id": "iwpqc80", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Well, Fuck.\n\nNever looked at it this way but its spot on.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668689733.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Stupidasshoe_", "id": "iwphihh", "score": -1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "THIS", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668683841.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "zoro4661", "id": "iwprnow", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Joke's on you, it was a true depiction and depression from the get go\n\n~~God I hate myself~~ Checkmate", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668690475.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "homelife22", "id": "iwpt09i", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I hear ya. I'm the worst at this", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668691215.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "jst4wrk7617", "id": "iwptf9d", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Whoa no need to call me out like that.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668691440.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "shaqfu2019", "id": "iwpuous", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Sounds like me", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668692111.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "OliwerPengy", "id": "iwpv3nz", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "true and real", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668692321.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Spanked42", "id": "iwpvth8", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I didn't expect to be called out today. I'm trying to stop doing this but I can't have a thought in my own head where I'm not calling myself a piece of shit anymore.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668692687.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Emergency_Pickle9279", "id": "iwpwyyq", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "im in this comment and i dont like it", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668693259.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "dexterrible", "id": "iwpxcrb", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "This sounds like me rn", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668693445.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "olliollioxinfree", "id": "iwpz5oq", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Saw this on \"Dark Side of Comedy: Chris Farley\". He was so talented but that downward spiral is hard to get out of for anybody, especially those with fame.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668694318.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "dogmeat0042", "id": "iwpz7e9", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "This is something I try to get my wife and kids to understand all the time.  The words we choose to day will shape the habit of our thoughts, so choose your words like every one of them matters", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668694341.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "12th_companion", "id": "iwpzcy5", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "It\u2019s also how you are raised. Growing up, I was taught it was egotistical to compliment yourself or take a compliment without trying to decrease it, thus a lifetime of self deprivation to show I didn\u2019t think I was better than everyone else. \n\nI still struggle with that but luckily I have a friend who replies to my self deprivation with \u201cShut up, you\u2019re fucking awesome. Stop that shit.\u201d \ud83d\udc99", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668694412.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "TheSnowPeach", "id": "iwpzpwi", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "That's so weird to me..Self deprecating and humility has helped my mental health a loot. Ego is exhausting", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668694579.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": [{"author": "ForeverInBlackJeans", "id": "iwqg93c", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I don\u2019t think the opposite of self deprecation is ego. I think it\u2019s self esteem.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668701571.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwpzpwi", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "MNTNDEWBAJABLASTZERO", "id": "iwq06my", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "This is correct but the takeaway is not to never be self-deprecating. Part of a healthy self-image and outer-image is having a **balance** of optimistic, pessimistic, and realistic expressions.\n\nIn my opinion, showing humility, especially when you fuck up, really makes you more likeable and approachable. I have coworkers that take their failures way too seriously and it makes dealing with failure kind of awkward. We can't have frank conversations about the challenges of our work because they talk around everything that goes wrong - we're in grad school so \"everything that goes wrong\" is most things lol. They've literally brought up in group meeting that a trick they've used to support their self-image was to stop being self-deprecating, but tbh I think they've just inadvertently held themselves to a higher standard while making themselves harder to talk with.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668694793.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Ninjatck", "id": "iwq1pnv", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Heheh *yep*", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668695480.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Unclesmekky", "id": "iwq2m0o", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Fuck man you might of just unlocked some shit for me", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668695875.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "ImpossibleCompote757", "id": "iwq4f4h", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Stop talking about me, I\u2019m right here", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668696663.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Fancy_Leshy", "id": "iwq4kxy", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "This is what happened to me, and when I noticed I just stopped doing it and it helped a surprising amount", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668696732.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Ellemieke25", "id": "iwq4o5x", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "_oops_", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668696771.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "beDeadOrBeQuick", "id": "iwq4yp1", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I think it's an indication of depression and low self esteem and signals for depression.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668696897.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "haunt3r300", "id": "iwq5vr4", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I hate how this is so true for me like it just corrupted my life so suddenly and made up most my day and mind. Life just sucks sometimes but even still I've been able to tell myself it's worth living and finding other people to be around really helps if anyone needs that.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668697297.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "RockPSLSpock", "id": "iwq7139", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Omg my accounting brain read that as \u2018self-depreciation\u2019 and I spend a solid few seconds wondering how you can depreciate yourself", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668697796.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "itsbabye", "id": "iwq7il7", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Is that the root of my decade of depression? I loved self -deprecating humor right around the time my depression first started. It made me feel more mature than the other kids my age. I never thought of putting those two things together", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668698007.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": [{"author": "ForeverInBlackJeans", "id": "iwqeyzj", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Root? Maybe/maybe not. But I can guarantee you it\u2019s not helping.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668701059.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwq7il7", "replies": []}]}, {"author": "Beelzebub_Crumpethom", "id": "iwq8net", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Yeah, that's pretty accurate.\n\nDoes not stop me from constantly making those jokes though.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668698487.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "ThatThanagarianHarpy", "id": "iwq8syd", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "How dare you hold this mirror up to my face like this lol", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668698551.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "nethtari", "id": "iwq8zrk", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "It me.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668698631.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Hidingoutintheopen_", "id": "iwqapew", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "This", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668699342.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "ArcadianDelSol", "id": "iwqcld2", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I hate that I suffer from this. I should be better.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668700108.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "kharmatika", "id": "iwqfin3", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "My friends therapist suggested she stop using things like \u201coh my god I\u2019m gonna kill myself\u201d out of frustration, embarrassment, etc. because she was concerned it was exacerbating her suicidal ideation through constant repetition. \n\nI found this out when she and I walked into her house and she noticed a water stain on her ceiling and she just goes \u201csigh\u2026.I\u2019m gonna\u2026.do a fucken pirouette.\u201d\n\nI think it helped tho", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668701277.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "EvilOmega7", "id": "iwqg0ad", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Me rn at stage 1", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668701474.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "ksay9104", "id": "iwqgre4", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Great answer! Hannah Gadsby talks about this very thing in her standup show \"Nanette\". It's actually more of a one-woman show than traditional standup, because parts of it are serious, and this subject is one of them. I'd never thought of it until I saw that show. Since then I've been mindful of it and use self-deprecation far less as a result.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668701774.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "KingoftheGinge", "id": "iwqilhh", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "In my culture its considered rude or arrogant to not be somewhat self deprecating.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668702510.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "RadoLewak", "id": "iwqmfv0", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I realised I'm in the middle stage and I don't like it", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668704045.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Eight216", "id": "iwqmohc", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "In general people don't understand that words matter to you. Like independent of you sitting down and going \"hmm\" and forming an opinion, there's a part of your brain that hears and understands and if left unchecked that part will start to internalize", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668704139.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "theatand", "id": "iwqq083", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I used this humor alot in high school. What got me to stop was when my friends started to use similar jokes about me. \nLike I could dunk on myself all day, but others shouldn't do that.\n\nMy suggestion would be, pretend someone else said the same joke about you. Would you be ok with it? If not then don't make the joke.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668705456.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "boredlawyer90", "id": "iwqr9vl", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Oh hey it\u2019s me", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668705948.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "GoCougs2020", "id": "iwr02ih", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Self depreciation in social situation/crowd. \nBut with one self (staring at the mirrors). You tell yourself how amazing and wonderful human you are.", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668709378.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "benchoderashka", "id": "iwr1zah", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "I get this from people at work and it makes me cringe every time, don't preface what your going to say with some self deprecating comments in a professional setting, just don't", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668710128.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "ALexusOhHaiNyan", "id": "iwr7l4z", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Wow. That resonates. I worshipped Janeane Garafalo back in the day for her self deprication but at some point it became a trap in my 20s and I realized my inner voice was pretty mean.\n\n\u201cThe words of our parents when we\u2019re children become our inner thoughts as adults\u201d", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668712341.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}, {"author": "Thegamerkid2013774", "id": "iws6xzl", "score": 1, "subreddit": "AskReddit", "author_flair": null, "submission": "yxa8k1", "stickied": false, "body": "Damm I should stop the self depreciation jokes with my friends  jk", "is_submitter": false, "distinguished": null, "created_utc": 1668726812.0, "parent_id": "t1_iwobp6x", "replies": []}], "submission_title": "what's an addiction that no one takes seriously enough?"}

[FowadIjaz]

Nevermind! Realized that reddit.com/POSTID redirects back to the permalinked comment