tweetsworth.rb

# When we create our Rackup file, we'll already be requiring RubyGems and Sinatra, 
# use 'unless defined?' so we don't require the gems again if they've already been loaded.
require 'rubygems' unless defined? ::RubyGems
require 'sinatra' unless defined? ::Sinatra
require 'rack' # more on the decision to include this below
require 'dm-core'
require 'dm-timestamps'
require 'haml'
require 'sass'
require 'httparty'
require 'ruby-debug'

# If you want changes to your application to appear in development mode without having to 
# restart the application, you need something that will reload your app automatically. 
# There are solutions out there (like Shotgun) but these are very slow. It's far quicker 
# to use this method to reload your app. However, it's not foolproof: sometimes, things
# will get screwy. When that happens, just restart your application manually.
configure :development do
  Sinatra::Application.reset!
  use Rack::Reloader

  DataMapper.setup(:default, "sqlite3://#{Dir.pwd}/db/tweetsworth.sqlite3")  
end

configure :production do
  require '/var/apps/tweetsworth/shared/config/production.rb'
end

# This is such a simple application that we likely don't need a separate file for models and classes, 
# but it keeps things clean.  We'll also dump an addition to Ruby's Array class in here.
require 'classes'

# DataMapper's automatic upgrading is not without its issues, which is not that surprising
# given what it attempts to do. Don't rely on it to always do what you expect - use
# auto_migrate! to ensure your database schema is updated correct. HOWEVER, note that 
# auto_migrate! will destroy the data in your database, so you should never use it in a 
# production environment (this may be a surprise to Rails users).  I tend to use auto_migrate! 
# as I build the app and make major db changes, but once I have things pretty stable
# I switch to auto_upgrade!.
DataMapper.auto_upgrade!
#DataMapper.auto_migrate!

enable :sessions

get '/' do
  session[:nature] = "evil" unless session[:nature]
  @recent = Person.all(:limit => 10, :order => [ :created_at.desc ])
  @top = Person.all(:limit => 10, :order => [ :followers_count.desc ])
  haml :index
end

get '/e' do
  session[:nature] = "evil"
  redirect "/"
end

get '/g' do
  session[:nature] = "good"
  redirect "/"
end

get '/style.css' do
  response['Content-Type'] = 'text/css; charset=utf-8'
  sass :style
end

post '/value' do
  screen_name = params[:screen_name]
  if screen_name && screen_name != ""
    @info = Twitter.get('/1/users/show.json', :query => { :screen_name => screen_name })
    if @info['error']
      redirect "/?failure=There was an error retrieving your account information. Twitter says: #{@info['error']}."
    else
      # Since we've now successfully retrieved information on a user account, we'll either look up or save this user in our
      # database.
      person = Person.first(:screen_name => screen_name)
      unless person
        person = Person.new(
          :screen_name => screen_name, 
          :name => @info['name'], 
          :joined_twitter_at => DateTime.parse(@info['created_at'])
        )
      end
      # These attributes can change over time
      person.followers_count, person.statuses_count, person.profile_image_url = @info['followers_count'], @info['statuses_count'], @info['profile_image_url']
      person.save
      if session[:nature] == "good"
        redirect "/g/#{person.screen_name}"
      else
        redirect "/e/#{person.screen_name}"
      end
    end    
  else
    redirect "/?failure=Please enter a Twitter username to start the valuation process."
  end
end

# use Sinatra's splat functionality to parse out the nature we're dealing with
# this allows us to provide working links to profiles
get '*/:screen_name' do
  # TODO: fix this up
  unless params[:screen_name] == "favicon.ico"
    if params[:splat].first == "/g"
      session[:nature] = "good"
    else
      session[:nature] = "evil"
    end
    @person = Person.first(:screen_name => params[:screen_name])
    @page_title = @person.name
    @js = erb :person_js
    haml :person
  end
end

not_found do
  haml :'404'
end

helpers do  
  def twitter_link(person)
    "<a href='http://twitter.com/#{person.screen_name}' target='_'>#{person.name}</a>"
  end
  
  # evil algorithm insults people
  def rating_insult
    ["Inconsequential", "Unsurprising", "PG-13", "Yawn", "Contemptible"].random
  end
  
  def tweet_insult(tweets)
    case tweets
      when 0..200 then ["Don't have much to say? No big surprise there."]
      when 201..400 then ["Do you really have to inform the world each time you sneeze?"]
      when 401..5000 then ["That college degree is really paying off.", "Just what the web needs: another narcissist.", "When was the last time you called your mother?"]
      when 5001..10000 then ["You sure like the sound of your own voice.", "Just what the web needs: another narcissist.", "Considerably less if we discount the tweets about what you had for lunch."]
      else ["The volume of your tweets is only matched by their utter pointlessness.", "Enough for a boring self-involved book.", "You are the Dostoevsky of tweets, only twice as boring."]
    end.random
  end
  
  def follower_insult(followers)
    case followers
      when 0..50 then ["At least you can console yourself in the fact that we ALL die alone."]
      when 51..200 then ["Hopefully you've got more friends offline, though we're not counting on it.", "There are people in prison with more friends than you."]
      when 201..1000 then ["That's like, what, a small village? A hamlet? Way to escape the farmstead, chief.", "And you thought you'd get more popular once you finished high school."]
      else ["Proof positive that large numbers of people can be very, very wrong.", "Lemmings.", "We didn't count your mom."]
    end.random
  end
  
  def duration_insult(joined_twitter_at)
    case (Date.today - joined_twitter_at)
      when 0..120 then ["A little late to the party, no?", "Just after my grandmother signed up."]
      else ["Words thrown into a void, my friend. Sad, really.", "Normally people get better at something the longer they do it."]
    end.random
  end
  
  def retweet_insult
    ["Your retweets are so boring our algorithm fell asleep.", "Take the hint: nobody cares what you have to say.", "Have you always been this boring, or are you putting in extra effort?"].random
  end
  
  def evil_share
    [
      "Shocked by my results from world's first 100% accurate Twitter account valuator. http://tweetsworth.com/e",
      "I'm curious to see if your account is worth more than mine (I doubt it) - check at http://tweetsworth.com/e"
    ].random
  end
  
  # good algorithm compliments people
  def rating_compliment
    ["Brilliant", "Luminous", "Inspiring", "Extraordinary", "Poetic", "Cultured", "Top-drawer", "4 out of 5 dentists recommend you.", "Epic", "Magnificent", "A++++++ would definitely follow again"].random
  end
  
  def tweet_compliment(tweets)
    case tweets
      when 0..400 then ["Consistently insightful: you'll go far.", "All of them of literary gems.", "Please tweet more. We need more of your words."]
      when 401..5000 then ["A monument to the power of the written word.", "Staggering works of heartbreaking genius.", "Delightfully prolific."]
      when 5001..10000 then ["Like delicate morsels of pure beauty.", "Please tweet more. We need more of your words.", "A magnum opus for the ages!"]
      else ["Like a river of the purest water, except instead of water, pure wisdom.", "Shakespeare would be green with envy.", "Almost enough for a 19th century Russian novel - a great one."]
    end.random
  end
  
  def follower_compliment(followers)
    case followers
      when 0..50 then ["Your followers are few, but are excellent judges of character.", "Clearly the smartest people on Twitter."]
      when 51..200 then ["Rarely has a more educated, talented group assembled online.", "Yes, this many you-enthusiasts. Hardly surprising.", "It's rare for a genius to be recognized in their own time."]
      when 201..1000 then ["Philosophers. Thinkers. Innovators. You attract remarkable people.", "This many people think you're super awesome.", "Only a great leader can so effortlessly amass such an army of followers."]
      else ["They know a genius when they see one.", "You're well on your way to replacing Ashton Kutcher."]
    end.random
  end
  
  def duration_compliment(joined_twitter_at)
    case (Date.today - joined_twitter_at)
      when 0..300 then ["Truly a worthy addition to the community.", "Not long enough. We need more of you.", "Words cannot express the positive impact you've made in just a short amount of time."]
      when 301..550 then ["Partial credit for Twitter's remarkable growth can be laid at your feet.", "...and hopefully much longer.", "Don't stop now - you're on a tear!"]
      else ["You set the trends others follow.", "If only Twitter had existed at your birth, to capture your genius from day one."]
    end.random
  end
  
  def retweet_compliment
    ["Frankly, we're surprised there aren't many more.", "You were so popular it broke our algorithm.", "Your deft hand molds the blogosphere with precision and grace.", "Today's RT is tomorrow's /b/ meme.", "Others wish to bask in your reflected glory."].random
  end
  
  def good_share
    [
      "Got surprisingly accurate results from world's first 100% accurate Twitter account valuator. http://tweetsworth.com/g", 
      "Pleased by my results from world's first 100% accurate Twitter account valuator. http://tweetsworth.com/g",
      "Curious to see if your account is worth more than mine (I doubt it) - check at http://tweetsworth.com/g"
    ].random
  end  
  
end

private

  def progress_statements
    [
      ["Evaluating Followers", "Questionable"],
      ["Analyzing Retweet Recursion Depth", "Substantial"],
      ["Syntax, Grammar and Vocabulary Analysis", "Seventh grade"],      
      ["Determining Mediated Collective Influence", "Fourth degree"],
      ["Resolving Social Matrix Lattices", "Semi-entwined"],
      ["Reticulating Splines", "Bezier"]
    ]
  end