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Rules of Tech Support - techs.txt
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Rules of Tech Support - techs.txt
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****
Dealing (primarily) with other techs
****
Rule T1 - CYA
Rule T1A - Always have someone else to blame it on.
Rule T2 - Never lie to another tech.
Rule T2A - Unless that tech is the person you're about to blame. See *Rule T1A* and *Rule T13*.
Rule T2B - Sometimes you will need to lie in order to deal with things like warranty repairs or getting ISPs to do the right thing.
Rule T3 - Never assume anything.
Rule T3A - Does the issue even exist?
Rule T3B - Is it even plugged in?
Rule T3C - Is it turned on?
Rule T4 - Don't expect your boss or coworkers or users to understand just what it is that you do.
Rule T4A - Even if they are a tech.
Rule T5 - Sometimes, you will be the one who is wrong.
Rule T6 - Don't try to do work over the Internet while in a moving airplane.
Rule T7 - Never call support with your cellphone if you can help it. Otherwise, you won't be able to drop the problem in someone else's lap.
Rule T8 - You will really screw up eventually and it is going to be a doozy.
Rule T9 - Backup following the Rule of Three. A backup, a copy of the backup, and a copy of the copy. Test them.
Rule T9A - Consider using other backup strategies. See *Link TL1*
Rule T9B - There is no backup. If there is a backup, it is either corrupt or years out of date.
Rule T9C - If you can't restore from it, you don't have a backup.
Rule T9D - If you haven't tested your backup recently, you don't have a backup.
Rule T9E - A year ago is not "recently".
Rule T10 - Assume that there are also inside threats, even inside IT. It's not paranoia if they really are after you (or your stuff).
Rule T10A - Don't trust your coworkers. They might be using *Rule T2A*.
Rule T10B - Don't even trust yourself. One error and you might cause serious damage or become a security leak.
Rule T10C - The new member on your team will send critical sensitive information to anyone who asks without trying to do any verification.
Rule T11 - When you need tech support, the tech support person is likely to be clueless.
Rule T11A - Whenever you have a problem, you will be unable to find a solution until just before the tech you called for help arrives.
Rule T11B - If the tech you called in isn't clueless, then you were and your problem has an obvious solution that you completely missed that they will point out seconds after they arrive.
Rule T11C - If none of these apply, the solution will be something random that will make no sense whatsoever to you or the technician.
Rule T12 - Every tech has their own set of Rules, even if they don't know it.
Rule T13 - Every tech is also a user.
Rule T13A - Techs will treat you like you are a user.
Rule T14 - Make sure your coworkers don't make changes before going on vacation.
Rule T15 - No technical person reads all of the rules. They will act like they know them until the place catches fire, then complain about incomplete documentation.
Rule T15A - Especially if it was the documentation that went up in flames first.
Rule T16 - Womprats aren't much larger than two meters.
Rule T17 - Third-Party IT will make configuration overhauls without notifying your company's IT department, and then blame your company for problems caused by their configuration mishap.
Rule T18 - You are incompetent. You just don't know it. At least, that's what your replacement will think.
Rule T18A - The tech that you replaced was incompetent and you have a huge mess that will take months to fix. - /u/morriscox
Rule T18B - You will have to deal with techs who are incompetent. - /u/morriscox
Rule T18C - Sometimes, you really are incompetent. - /u/morriscox
Rule T19 - You might find people who support you. Reciprocate.
Rule T20 - Always verify who you are corresponding with. This includes not using Reply All.
Rule T21 - Use your inner laziness to do the most elegant solution possible.
Rule T21A - Know the difference between "truly lazy" and "plain laziness".
Rule T22 - If nothing seems to work, reboot.
Rule T23 - Cables can and will be used as ropes.
Rule T24 - Other techs will never read the manual.
Rule T24A - Neither will you.
Rule T25 - Your fellow techs will expect you to be their tech support.
Rule T26 - A tech will install equipment in dangerous environments.
Rule T27 - Third part IT will remove equipment and not tell you or the user.
Rule T28 - The biggest enemy of good IT is that they are outnumbered by lazy IT.
Rule T29 - Grow a beard so that people don't recognize you.
Rule T568A - white green, green, white orange, blue, white blue, orange, white brown, brown
Rule T568B - white orange, orange, white green, blue, white blue, green, white brown, brown
Rule T1000 - Buy stock in Boston Dynamics but sell all of it before 2029.
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Links
Link TL1 - https://www.unitrends.com/blog/3-2-1-backup-sucks