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The Project Gutenberg EBook of Miss McDonald, by Mary J. Holmes
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net
Title: Miss McDonald
Author: Mary J. Holmes
Release Date: June 29, 2005 [EBook #16150]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MISS MCDONALD ***
Produced by Marilynda Fraser-Cunliffe, Louise Pryor and
the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
http://www.pgdp.net
MISS MCDONALD
BY
MRS. MARY J. HOLMES
AUTHOR OF "THE LEIGHTON HOMESTEAD," "MILLBANK; OR, ROGER IRVING'S WARD,"
"MILDRED; OR, THE CHILD OF ADOPTION," "EDITH LYLE'S SECRET," "ETHELYN'S
MISTAKE," ETC.
THE MERSHON COMPANY
RAHWAY, N.J. NEW YORK
CONTENTS
I. EXTRACTS FROM MISS FRANCES THORNTON'S JOURNAL
II. EXTRACTS FROM GUY'S JOURNAL
III. EXTRACTS FROM DAISY'S JOURNAL
IV. AUTHOR'S STORY
V. THE DIVORCE
VI. EXTRACTS FROM DIARIES
VII. FIVE YEARS LATER
VIII. DAISY'S LETTER
IX. DAISY, TOM, AND THAT OTHER ONE
X. MISS MCDONALD
XI. AT SARATOGA
XII. IN THE SICK-ROOM
XIII. DAISY'S JOURNAL
MISS MCDONALD
CHAPTER I
EXTRACTS FROM MISS FRANCES THORNTON'S JOURNAL
ELMWOOD, June 15, 18--.
I have been out among my flowers all the morning, digging, weeding, and
transplanting, and then stopping a little to rest. Such perfect
successes as my roses are this year, while my white lilies are the
wonder of the town, and yet my heart was not with them to-day, and it
was nothing to me that those fine people staying at the Towers came into
the grounds while I was at work, "just to see and admire," they said,
adding that there was no place like Elmwood in all the town of
Cuylerville. I know that, and Guy and I have been so happy here, and I
loved him so much, and never dreamed what was in store for me until it
came so suddenly and seemed like a heavy blow.
Why did he want to get married, when he has lived to be thirty years
old, without a care of any kind, and with money enough to allow him to
indulge his taste for books, and pictures, and travel, and is respected
by everybody, looked up to as the first man in town, and petted and
cared for by me as few brothers have ever been petted and cared for;
why, I say, did he want a change, and, if he must be married, why need
he take a child of sixteen, whom he has only known since Christmas, and
whose sole recommendation, so far as I can learn, is her pretty face?
Daisy McDonald is her name, and she lives in Indianapolis, where her
father is a poor lawyer, and Guy met her last winter in Chicago and fell
in love at once, and made two or three journeys West on "important
business," he said, and then, some time in May, told me he was going to
bring me a sister, the sweetest little creature, with such beautiful
blue eyes and wonderful hair. I was sure to love her, he said, and when
I suggested that she was very young, he replied that her youth was in
her favor, as he could more easily mold her to the Thornton pattern.
Little he knows about girls, but then he was perfectly infatuated and
blind to everything but Daisy's eyes, and hair, and voice, which is so
sweet and winning that it will _speak_ for her at once; and he asked me
to see to the furnishing of the rooms on the west side of the house, two
which communicate with his own private library, where he spends a great
deal of time with his books and writing. The room adjoining this he
would have for Daisy's boudoir or parlor, where she could sit when he
was occupied and she wished to be near him. This he would have fitted up
in blue, as she had expressed a wish to that effect, and he said no
expense must be spared to make it as pretty and attractive as possible.
So the walls were frescoed and tinted, and I spent two entire days in
New York hunting for a carpet of the desirable shade, which should be
right both in texture and design.
Guy was exceedingly particular, and developed a wonderful proclivity to
find fault with everything I admired. Nothing was quite the thing for
Daisy until at last a manufacturer offered to get one up which should
suit, and so the carpet question was happily ended for the time being.
Then came the furniture, and unlimited orders were given to the
upholsterer to do his best, and matters were progressing finely when
order number two came from the little lady, who was sorry to seem so
fickle, but mamma, whose taste was perfect, had decided against all
blue, and would Guy please furnish the room with drab trimmed with blue.
"It must be a very delicate shade of drab," she wrote, and lest he
should get too intense an idea, she would call it a _tint_ of a _shade_
of drab, or, better yet, a _hint_ of a tint of a shade of drab would
describe exactly what she meant, and be so entirely unique, and lovely,
and recherche.
Guy never swears, and seldom uses slang of any kind, but this was a
little too much, and with a most rueful expression of countenance he
asked me "what in thunder I supposed a hint of a tint of a shade of drab
could be."
I could not enlighten him, and we finally concluded to leave it to the
upholsterer, to whom Guy telegraphed in hot haste, bidding him hunt New
York over for the desired shade. Where he found it I never knew, but
find it he did, or something approximating to it, a faded, washed-out
color, which seemed a cross between wood-ashes and pale skim milk. A
sample was sent up for Guy's approval, and then the work commenced
again, when order number three came in one of those dainty little
billets which used to make Guy's face radiant with happiness. Daisy had
changed her mind again and gone back to the blue, which she always
preferred as most becoming to her complexion.
Guy did not say a single word, but he took the next train for New York
and stayed there till the furniture was done and packed for Cuylerville.
As I did not know where he was stopping, I could not forward him two
little missives which came during his absence, and which bore the
Indianapolis post-mark. I suspect he had a design in keeping his hotel
from me, and whether Daisy changed her mind again or not I never knew.
The furniture reached Elmwood the day but one before Guy started for his
bride, and Julia Hamilton, who was then at the Towers, helped me arrange
the room, which is a perfect little gem and cannot fail to please, I am
sure. I wonder Guy never fancied Julia Hamilton. Oh, if he only had done
so I should not have as many misgivings as I now have nor dread the
future so much. Julia is sensible and twenty years old, and lives in
Boston, and comes of a good family, and is every way suitable; but when
did a man ever choose the woman whom his sister thought suitable for
him? And Guy is like other men, and this is his wedding day; and after a
trip to Montreal, and Quebec, and Boston, and New York, and Saratoga,
they are coming home, and I am to give a grand reception and then
subside, I suppose, into the position of the "old maid sister who will
be dreadfully in the way."
SEPTEMBER 15, 18--.
Just three months since I opened my Journal, and, on glancing over what
I wrote on Guy's wedding day, I find that in one respect at least I was
unjust to the little creature who is now my sister and calls me Miss
Frances. Not by a word or look has she shown the least inclination to
assume the position of mistress of the house, nor does she seem to think
me at all in the way; but that she considers me quite an antediluvian I
am certain, for, in speaking of something which happened in 1820, she
asked if I remembered it! And I only three years older than Guy! But
then she once called him a dear old grandfatherly man, and thought it a
good joke that on their wedding tour she was mistaken for his daughter.
She looks so young--not sixteen even; but with those childish blue eyes,
and that innocent, pleading kind of expression, she never can be old.
She is very beautiful, and I can understand in part Guy's infatuation,
though at times he hardly knows what to do with his pretty plaything.
It was the middle of August when they came from Saratoga, sorely
against her wishes, as I heard from the Porters, who were at the same
hotel, and who have told me what a sensation she created, and how much
attention she received. Everybody flattered her, and one evening when
there was to be a hop at Congress Hall, she received twenty bouquets
from as many different admirers, each of whom asked her hand for the
first dance. They had ascertained that Guy was not a disciple of
Terpsichore, though I understand he did try some of the square dances,
with poor success, I imagine, for Lucy Porter laughed when she told me
of it; and I do not wonder, for my grave, scholarly Guy must be as much
out of place in a ball room as his little, airy doll of a wife is in her
place when there. I can understand just how she enjoyed it all, and how
she hated to come home, for she did not then know the kind of home she
was coming to.
It was glorious weather for August, and a rain of the previous day had
washed all the flowers and shrubs, and freshened up the grass on the
lawn, which was just like a piece of velvet, while everything around
Elmwood seemed to laugh in the warm afternoon sunshine as the carriage
came up to the door. Eight trunks, two hat-boxes, and a guitar-case had
come in the morning, and were waiting the arrival of their owner, whose
face looked eagerly out at the house and its surroundings, and, it
seemed to me, did not light up as much as it should have done under the
circumstances.
"Why, Guy, I always thought the house was brick," I heard her say as the
carriage door was opened by the coachman.
"No, darling--wood. Ah, there's Fan," was Guy's reply, and the next
moment I had her in my arms.
Yes, literally in my arms. She is such a wee little thing, and her face
is so sweet, and her eyes so childish and wistful, and her voice so
musical and flute-like that before I knew what I was doing I lifted her
from her feet and hugged her hard and said I meant to love her, first
for Guy's sake and then for her own. Was it my fancy, I wonder, or did
she really shrink back a little and put up her hands to arrange the bows
and streamers and curls floating away from her like the flags on a
vessel on some gala day?
She was very tired, Guy said, and ought to lie down before dinner. Would
I show her to her room with Zillah, her maid? Then for the first time I
noticed a dark-haired girl who had alighted from the carriage and stood
holding Daisy's traveling bag and wraps.
"Her waiting maid, whom we found in Boston," Guy explained when we were
alone. "She is so young and helpless, and wanted one so badly, that I
concluded to humor her for a time, especially as I had not the most
remote idea how to pin on those wonderful fixings which she wears. It is
astonishing how many things it takes to make up the _tout ensemble_ of a
fashionable woman," Guy said, and I thought he glanced a little
curiously at my plain cambric wrapper and smooth hair.
Indeed he has taken it upon himself to criticise me somewhat! thinks I
am too slim, as he expresses it, and that my head might be improved if
it had a more snarly appearance. Daisy, of course, stands for his model,
and her hair does not look as if it had been combed in a month, and yet
Zillah spends hours over it. She--that is, Daisy--was pleased with her
boudoir, and gave vent to sundry exclamations of delight when she
entered it and skipped around like the child she is, and said she was so
glad it was blue instead of that indescribable drab, and that room is
almost the only thing she has expressed an opinion about since she has
been here. She does not talk much except to Zillah, and then in French,
which I do not understand. If I were to write just what I think I should
say that she had expected a great deal more grandeur than she finds. At
all events, she takes the things which I think very nice and even
elegant as a matter of course, and if we were to set up a style of
living equal to that of the Queen's household I do believe she would act
as if she had been accustomed to it all her life; or, at least, that it
was what she had a right to expect. I know she imagines Guy a great deal
richer than he is; and that reminds me of something which troubles me.
Guy has given his name to Dick Trevylian for one hundred thousand
dollars. To be sure, it is only for three months, and Dick is worth
three times that amount, and an old friend and every way reliable and
honest. And still I did not want Guy to sign. I wonder why it is that
women will always jump at a conclusion without any apparent reason. Of
course, I could not explain it, but when Guy told me what he was going
to do, I felt in an instant as if he would have it all to pay and told
him so, but he only laughed at me and called me nervous and fidgety, and
said a friend was good for nothing if he could not lend a helping hand
occasionally. Perhaps that is true, but I was uneasy, and shall be glad
when the time is up and the paper canceled.
Our expenses since Daisy came are double what they were before, and if
we were to lose one hundred thousand dollars now we should be badly off.
Daisy is a luxury Guy has to pay for, but he pays willingly and seems to
grow more and more infatuated every day. "She is such a sweet-tempered,
affectionate little puss," he says; and I admit to myself that she is
sweet-tempered, and that nothing ruffles her, but about the affectionate
part I am not so certain. Guy would pet her and caress her all the time
if she would let him, but she won't.
"Oh, please don't touch me. It is too warm, and you muss my dress," I
have heard her say more than once when he came in and tried to put his
arm about her or take her in his lap.
Indeed, her dress seems to be uppermost in her mind, and I have known
her to try on half a dozen different ones before she could decide in
which she looked the best. No matter what Guy is doing, or how deeply he
is absorbed in his studies, she makes him stop and inspect her from all
points and give his opinion, and Guy submits in a way perfectly
wonderful to me who never dared to disturb him when shut up with his
books.
Another thing, too, he submits to which astonishes me more than anything
else. It used to annoy him terribly to wait for anything or anybody. He
was always ready, and expected others to be, but Daisy is just the
reverse. Such dawdling habits I never saw in any person. With Zillah to
help her dress she is never ready for breakfast, never ready for dinner,
never ready for church, never ready for anything, and that, in a
household accustomed to order and regularity, does put things back so
and make so much trouble.
"Don't wait breakfast for me, please," she says, when she has been
called for the third or fourth time, and if she can get us to sit down
without her she seems to think it all right, and that she can dawdle as
much as she likes.
I wonder that it never occurs to her that to keep the breakfast table
round, as we must, makes the girls cross and upsets the kitchen
generally. I hinted as much to her once when the table stood till ten
o'clock, and she only opened her great blue eyes wonderingly, and said
mamma had spoiled her, but she would try and do better, and she bade
Zillah call her at five the next morning, and Zillah called her, and
then she was a half-hour late. Guy doesn't like that, and he looked
daggers on the night of the reception, when the guests began to arrive
before she was dressed! And she commenced her toilet, too, at three
o'clock! But she was wondrously beautiful in her bridal robes, and took
all hearts by storm. She is perfectly at home in society, and knows just
what to do and say so long as the conversation keeps in the fashionable
round of chit-chat, but when it drifts into deeper channels she is
silent at once, or only answers in monosyllables. I believe she is a
good French scholar, and she plays and sings tolerably well, and reads
the novels as they come out, but of books and literature, in general,
she is wholly ignorant, and if Guy thought to find in her any sympathy
with his favorite studies and authors he is terribly mistaken.
And yet, as I write all this, my conscience gives me sundry little
pricks as if I were wronging her, for in spite of her faults I like her,
and like to watch her flitting through the house and grounds like the
little fairy she is, and I hope the marriage may turn out well, and that
she will improve with age, and not make so heavy drafts on my brother's
purse.
CHAPTER II
EXTRACTS FROM GUY'S JOURNAL
SEPTEMBER 20, 18--.
Three months married. Three months with Daisy all to myself, and yet not
exactly to myself either, for except I go after her I confess she does
not often come to me, unless it is just as I have shut myself up in my
room, thinking to have a quiet hour with my books. Then she generally
appears, and wants me to ride with her, or play croquet, or see which
dress is most becoming, and I always submit and obey her as if I were
the child instead of herself.
She is young, and I almost wonder her mother allowed her to marry. Fan
hints that they were mercenary, but if they were they concealed the fact
wonderfully well, and made me think it a great sacrifice on their part
to give me Daisy. And so it was; such a lovely little darling, and so
beautiful. What a sensation she created at Saratoga, and still I was
glad to get away, for I did not like some things which were done there.
I did not like so many young men around her, nor her dancing those
abominable round dances which she seemed to enjoy so much. "Square
dances were poky," she said, even after I tried them with her for the
sake of keeping her out of that vile John Britton's arms. I have a fancy
that I made a spectacle of myself, hopping about like a magpie, but
Daisy said "I did beautifully," though she cried because I put my foot
on her lace flounce and tore it, and I noticed she ever after had some
good reason why I should not dance again. "It was too hard work for me;
I was too big," she said, "and would tire easily. Cousin Tom was big,
and he never danced."
By the way, I have some little curiosity with regard to that Cousin Tom
who wanted Daisy so badly and who, because she refused him, went off to
South America. I trust he will stay there. Not that I am or could be
jealous of Daisy, but it is better for cousins like Tom to keep away.
Daisy is very happy here, though she is not quite so enthusiastic over
the place as I supposed she would be, knowing how she lived at home.
Well enough, it is true, and the McDonalds are intensely respectable, so
she says; but her father's practice cannot bring him over two thousand a
year, and the small brown house they live in, with only a grass plot in
the rear and at the side, is not to be compared with Elmwood, which is a
fine old place, everyone admits. It has come out gradually that she
thought the house was brick and had a tower and billiard room, and that
we kept more servants, and had a fishpond on the premises, and velvet
carpets all over the house. I would not let Fan know this for the world,
as I want her to like Daisy thoroughly.
And she does like her, though this little pink and white pet of mine is
a new revelation to her, and puzzles her amazingly. She would have been
glad if I had married Julia Hamilton of Boston; but those Boston girls
are too strong-minded and positive to suit me. Julia is nice, it is
true, and pretty and highly educated, and Fan says she has brains and
would make a splendid wife. As Fan had never seen Daisy she did not, of
course, mean to hint that she had not brains, but I suspect even now she
would be better pleased if Julia were here, but I should not. Julia is
self-reliant; Daisy is not. Julia has opinions of her own and asserts
them, too; Daisy does not. Julia can sew and run a machine; Daisy
cannot. Julia gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night; Daisy
does neither. Nobody ever waits for Julia; everybody waits for Daisy.
Julia reads scientific works and dotes on metaphysics; Daisy does not
know the meaning of the word. In short, Julia is a strong, high-toned,
energetic, independent woman, while Daisy is--a little innocent,
confiding girl, whom I would rather have without brains than all the
Boston women like Julia with brains!
And yet I sometimes wish she did care for books, and was more interested
in what interests me. I have tried reading aloud to her an hour every
evening, but she generally goes to sleep or steals up behind me to look
over my shoulder and see how near I am to the end of the chapter, and
when I reach it she says: "Excuse me, but I have just thought of
something I must tell Zillah about the dress I want to wear to-morrow.
I'll be back in a moment"; and off she goes, and our reading is ended
for that time, for I notice she never returns. The dress is of more
importance than the book, and I find her at ten or eleven trying to
decide whether black or white or blue is most becoming to her. Poor
Daisy! I fear she had no proper training at home. Indeed, she told me
the other day that from her earliest recollection she had been taught
that the main object of her life was to marry young and to marry money.
Of course she did not mean anything or know how it sounded, but I would
rather she had not said it, even though she had refused a millionaire
for me, who can hardly be called rich as riches are rated these days. If
Dick Trevylian should fail to meet his payment I should be very poor,
and then what would become of Daisy, to whom the luxuries which money
buys are so necessary?
(Here followed several other entries in the journal, consisting mostly
of rhapsodies on Daisy, and then came the following:)
DECEMBER 15, 18--.
Dick has failed to meet his payment, and that after having borrowed of
me twenty thousand more! Is he a villain, and did he know all the time
that I was ruining myself? I cannot think so when I remember that look
on his face as he told me about it and swore to me solemnly that up to
the very last he fully expected relief from England, where he thought he
had a fortune.
"If I live I will pay you some time," he said; but that does not help me
now. I am a ruined man. Elmwood must be sold, and I must work to earn my
daily bread. For myself I would not mind it much, and Fan, who,
woman-like, saw it in the distance and warned me of it, behaves nobly;
but it falls hard on Daisy.
Poor Daisy! She never said a word when I told her the exact truth, but
she went to bed and cried for one whole day. I am so glad I settled that
ten thousand on her when we were married. No one can touch that, and I
told her so; but she did not say a word or seem to know what I meant.
Talking or expressing her opinion was never in her line, and she has not
of her own accord spoken with me on the subject, and when I try to talk
with her about our future she shudders and cries, and says, "Please
don't! I can't bear it. I want to go home to mother!"
And so it was settled that while we are arranging matters she is to
visit her mother and perhaps not return till spring, when I hope to be
in a better condition financially than I am at present.
One thing Daisy said, which hurt me cruelly, and that was: "If I must
marry poor, I might as well have married Cousin Tom, who wanted me so
badly!" To do her justice, however, she added immediately: "But I like
you the best."
I am glad she said that. It will be something to remember when she is
gone, or rather when I return without her, as I am going to Indianapolis
with her, and then back to the dreary business of seeing what I have
left and what I can do. I have an offer for the house, and shall sell at
once; but where my home will be next, I do not know, neither would I
care so much if it were not for Daisy--poor little Daisy!--who thought
she had married a rich man. The only tears I have shed over my lost
fortune were for her. Oh, Daisy, Daisy!
CHAPTER III
EXTRACTS FROM DAISY'S JOURNAL
ELMWOOD, December 20, 18--.
Daisy McDonald Thornton's journal, presented by my husband, Mr. Guy
Thornton, who wishes me to write something in it every day; and when I
asked him what I should write, he said: "Your thoughts, and opinions,
and experiences. It will be pleasant for you some time to look back upon
your early married life and see what progress you have made since then,
and will help you to recall incidents you would otherwise forget. A
journal fixes things in your mind, and I know you will enjoy it,
especially as no one is to see it, and you can talk to it freely as to a
friend."
That is what Guy said, and I wrote it right down to copy into the book
as a kind of preface or introduction. I am not much pleased with having
to keep a journal, and maybe I shall have Zillah keep it for me. I don't
care to fix things in my mind. I don't like things fixed, anyway. I'd
rather they would be round loose, as they surely would, if I had not
Zillah to pick them up. She is a treasure, and it is almost worth being
married to have a waiting maid--and that reminds me that I may as well
begin back at the time when I was not married, and did not want to be,
if only we had not been so poor, and obliged to make so many shifts to
seem richer than we were.
My maiden name was Margaret McDonald, and I am seventeen next New Year's
Day. My father is of Scotch descent, and a lawyer; my mother was a
Barnard, from New Orleans, and has the best blood of the two. I am an
only child, and very handsome--so everybody says--and I should know it
if they did not say it, for can't I see myself in the glass! And still I
really do not care so much for my good looks except as they serve to
attain the end for which father says I was born.
Almost the first thing I can remember is of his telling me that I must
marry young and marry rich, and I promised him I would, and asked if I
could stay at home with mother just the same after I was married.
Another thing I remember, which made a lasting impression, and that is
the beating father gave me for asking before some grand people staying
at our house, "Why we did not always have beefsteak and hot muffins for
breakfast, instead of just baked potatoes and bread and butter."
I must learn to keep my mouth shut, father said, and not tell all I
knew; and I profited by the lesson, and that is one reason, I suppose,
why I so rarely say what I think, or express an opinion whether
favorable or otherwise.
I do not believe I am deceitful, though all my life I have seen my
parents try to seem what they are not; that is, try to seem like rich
people, when sometimes father's practice brought him only a few hundreds
a year, and there was mother and myself and Tom to support. Tom is my
cousin--Tom McDonald--who lived with us and fell in love with me, though
I never tried to make him. I liked him ever so much, though he used to
tease me horribly, and put horn-bugs in my shoes, and worms on my neck,
and Jack-o'-lanterns in my room, and tip me off his sled into the snow;
but still I liked him, for with all his teasing he had a great, kind,
unselfish heart, and I shall never forget that look on his face when I
told him I could not be his wife. I did not like him as he liked me, and
I did not want to be married anyway, and if I did marry it must be to
some rich man. That was in Chicago, and the night before he started for
South America, where he was going to make his fortune, and he wanted me
to promise to wait for him, and said no one would ever love me as well
as he did.
I could not promise, because, even if he had all the gold mines in Peru,
I did not care to spend my days with him--to see him morning, noon, and
night, and all the time. It is a good deal to ask of a woman, and I told
him so, and he cried so hard--not loud, but in a pitiful kind of way,
which hurt me cruelly. I hear that sobbing sometimes now in my sleep,
and it's like the moan of the wind round that house on the prairie where
Tom's mother died. Poor Tom! I gave him a lock of my hair and let him
kiss me twice, and then he went away, and after that old Judge Burton
offered himself and his million to me; but I could not endure his bald
head a week, and I told him no, and when father seemed sorry and said I
missed it, I told him I would not sell myself for gold alone. I'd run
away first and go after Tom. Then Guy Thornton came, and--and--well, he
took me by storm, and I liked him better than anyone I ever saw, and I
married him. Everybody said he was rich, and father was satisfied and
gave his consent, and bought be a most elaborate trousseau. I wondered
then where the money came from. Now I know that Tom sent it. He has been
very successful with his mine, and in a letter to father sent me a check
for fifteen hundred dollars. Father would not tell me that, but mother
did, and I felt worse, I think, than when I heard the sobbing. Poor Tom!
I never wear one of the dresses now without thinking who paid for it and
wrote, "I am working like an ox for Daisy." Poor, poor Tom!
OCTOBER 1, 18--.
I rather like writing in my journal, for here I can say what I think,
and I guess I shall not let Zillah make the entries. Where did I leave
off? Oh, about poor Tom.
I have had a letter from him. He had just heard of my marriage, and only
said: "God bless you, my darling little Daisy, and may you be very
happy."
I burned the letter up and cried myself into a headache. I wish people
would not love me so hard. I do not deserve it. There's Guy, my husband,
more to be pitied than Tom, because, you see, he has got me; and,
privately, between you and me, old journal, I am not worth the getting,
and I know it perhaps better than anyone else. I like Guy and believe
him to be the best man in the world, and I would rather he kissed me
than Tom, but do not want anybody to kiss me; and Guy is so
affectionate, and his great hands are so hot, and muss my fluted dresses
so terribly.
I guess I don't like to be married anyway. If one only could have the
house, and the money, and the nice things without the man! That's
wicked, of course, when Guy is so kind and loves me so much. I wish he
didn't, but I would not for the world let him know how I feel. I did
tell him that I was not the wife he ought to have, but he would not
believe me, and father was anxious, and so I married him, meaning to do
the best I could. It was splendid at Saratoga, only Guy danced so
ridiculously and would not let me waltz with those young men. As if I
cared a straw for them or any other man besides Guy and Tom!
It is pleasant here at Elmwood, only the house is not as grand as I
supposed, and there are not as many servants, and the family carriage is
awful poky. Guy is to give me a pretty little phaeton on my birthday.
I like Miss Frances very much, only she is such a raging housekeeper,
and keeps me all the while on the alert. I don't believe in these raging
housekeepers, who act as if they wanted to make the bed before you are
up, and eat breakfast before it is ready. I don't like to get up in the
morning anyway, and I don't like to hurry, and I am always behind, and
keeping somebody waiting, and that disturbs the people here very much.
Miss Frances seems really cross sometimes, and even Guy looks sober and
disturbed when he has waited for me half an hour. I guess I must try and
do better, for both Guy and Miss Frances are as good as they can be, but
then I am not one bit like them, and have never been accustomed to
anything like order and regularity. At home things came round any time,
and I came with them, and that suited me better than this being married,
a great deal, only now I have a kind of settled feeling, and am Mrs. Guy
Thornton, and Guy is good-looking, and highly esteemed, and very
learned, and I can see that the young ladies in the neighborhood envy me
for being his wife. I wonder who is that Julia Hamilton Miss Frances
talks about so much, and why Guy did not marry her instead of me. She,
too, is very learned and gets up in the morning and flies round and
reads scientific articles in the _Westminster Review_. I asked Guy once
why he did not marry her instead of a little goose like me, and he said
he liked the little goose the best, and then kissed me, and crumpled my
white dress all up. Poor Guy! I wish I did love him as well as he does
me, but it's not in me to love any man!
DECEMBER 20, 18--.
A horrible thing has happened, and I have married a poor man after all!
Guy signed for somebody and had to pay, and Elmwood must be sold, and we
are to move into a stuffy little house without Zillah, and with only one
girl. It is too dreadful to think about, and I was sick for a week after
Guy told me of it. I might as well have married Tom, only I like Guy the
best. He looks so sorry and sad that I sometimes forget myself to pity
him. I am going home to mother for a long, long time--all winter,
maybe--and I shall enjoy it so much. Guy says I have ten thousand
dollars of my own, and the interest on that will buy my dresses, I
guess, and get something for Miss Frances, too. She is a noble woman,
and tries to bear up so brave. She says they will keep the furniture of
my blue room for me, if I want it; and I do, and I mean to have Guy
send it to Indianapolis, if he will. Oh, mother, I am so glad I am
coming back, and I almost wish--no, I don't, either. I like Guy, only I
don't like being married!
CHAPTER IV
AUTHOR'S STORY
Reader, Guy Thornton was not a fool, and Daisy was not a fool, though I
admit they have thus far appeared to disadvantage. Both had made a great
mistake; Guy in marrying a child whose mind was unformed, and Daisy in
marrying at all, when her whole nature was in revolt against matrimony.
But married they are, and Guy has failed and Daisy is going home, and
the New Year's morning, when she was to have received Guy's gift of the
phaeton and ponies, found her at the little cottage in Indianapolis,
where she at once resumed all the old indolent habits of her girlhood,
and was happier than she had been since leaving home as a bride.
On the father, Mr. McDonald, the news of his son-in-law's failure fell
like a thunderbolt and affected him more than it did Daisy. Shrewd,
ambitious, and scheming, he had for years planned for his daughter a
moneyed marriage, and now she was returned upon his hands for an
indefinite time, with her naturally luxurious tastes intensified by
recent indulgence, and her husband a ruined man. It was not a pleasant
picture to contemplate, and Mr. McDonald's face was cloudy and
thoughtful for many days until a letter from Tom turned his thoughts
into a new channel and sent him with fresh avidity to certain points of
law with which he had of late years been familiar. If there was one part
of his profession in which he excelled more than another it was in the
divorce cases which had made Indiana so notorious. Squire McDonald, as
he was called, was well known to that class of people who, utterly
ignoring God's command, seek to free themselves from the bonds which
once were so pleasant to wear, and now, as he sat alone in his office
with Tom's letter in his hand, and read how rapidly that young man was
getting rich, there came into his mind a plan, the very thought of which
would have made Guy Thornton shudder with horror and disgust.
Daisy had not been altogether satisfied with her brief married life, and
it would be very easy to make her more dissatisfied, especially as the
home to which she would return must necessarily be very different from
Elmwood, Tom was destined to be a millionaire. There was no doubt of
that, and once in the family he could be molded and managed as the wily
McDonald had never been able to mold or manage Guy. But everything
pertaining to Tom must be kept carefully out of sight, for the man knew
his daughter would never lend herself to such a diabolical scheme as
that which he was revolving, and which he at once put in progress,
managing so adroitly that before Daisy was at all aware of what she was
doing, she found herself the heroine of a divorce suit, founded really
upon nothing but a general dissatisfaction with married life and a wish
to be free from it. Something there was about incompatibility of
temperament and uncongeniality, and all that kind of thing which wicked
men and women parade before the world when weary of the tie which God
has distinctly said shall not be torn asunder.
It is not our intention to follow the suit through any of its details,
and we shall only say that it progressed rapidly, while poor,
unsuspicious Guy was working hard to retrieve in some way his lost
fortune, and to fit up a pleasant home for the childish wife who was
drifting away from him. He had missed her so much at first, even while
he felt it a relief to have her gone just when his business matters
needed all his time and thought.
It was some comfort, too, to write to her, but not much to receive her
letters, for Daisy did not excel in epistolary composition, and after a
few weeks her letters were short and far apart, and, as Guy thought,
constrained and studied in their tone, and when, after she had been
absent from him for three months or more his longing to see her was so
great that he decided upon a visit of a few days to the West, and
apprised her of his intention, asking if she would be glad to see him.
He received in reply a telegram from Mr. McDonald telling him to defer
his journey, as Daisy was visiting some friends and would be absent for
an indefinite length of time. There was but one more letter from her and
that was dated at Vincennes, and merely said that she was well, and Guy
must not feel anxious about her or take the trouble to come to see her,
as she knew how valuable his time must be and would far rather he should
devote himself to his business than bother about her. The letter was
signed, "Hastily, Daisy," and Guy read it over many times with a pang in
his heart he could not define.
But he had no suspicion of the terrible blow in store for him, and went
on planning for her comfort just the same; and when at last Elmwood was
sold and he could no longer stay there, he hired a more expensive house
than he could afford, because he thought Daisy would like it better, and
then, with his sister Fan, set himself to the pleasant task of fitting
it up for Daisy. There was a blue room with a bay window just as there
had been in Elmwood, only it was not so pretentious and large. But it
was very pleasant and had a door opening out upon what Guy meant should
be a flower garden in the summer, and though he missed his little wife
sadly and longed so much at times for a sight of her beautiful face and
the sound of her sweet voice, he put all thought of himself aside and
said he would not bring her back until the May flowers were in blossom
and the young grass bright and green by the blue room door.
"She will have a better impression of her new home then," he said to
Fan; "and I want her to be happy here and not feel the change too
keenly."
Julia Hamilton chanced those days to be in town, and as she was very
intimate with Miss Thornton the two were a great deal together, and it
thus came about that Julia was often at the brown cottage and helped to
settle the blue room for Daisy.
"If it were only you who was to occupy it," Frances said to her one
morning when they had been reading together for an hour or more in the
room they both thought so pleasant. "I like Daisy, but somehow she seems
so far from me. Why, there's not a sentiment in common between us."
Then, as if sorry for having said so much, she spoke of Daisy's
marvelous beauty and winning ways, and hoped Julia would know and love
her ere long, and possibly do her good.
It so happened that Guy was sometimes present at these readings,
enjoying them so much that there insensibly crept into his heart a wish
that Daisy was more like the Boston girl whom he had mentally termed
strong-minded.
"And in time, perhaps, she may be," he thought. "I mean to have Julia
here a great deal next summer, and with two such women for companions as
Julia and Fan, Daisy cannot help but improve."
And so at last, when the house was settled and the early spring flowers
were in bloom, Guy started westward for his wife. He had not seen her
now for months, and it was more than two weeks since he had heard from
her, and his heart beat high with joyful anticipation as he thought just
how she would look when she came to him, shyly and coyly, as she always
did, with that droop in her eyelids and that pink flush in her cheeks.
He would chide her a little at first, he said, for having been so poor a
correspondent, especially of late, and after that he would love her so
much, and shield her so tenderly from every want or care, that she
should never feel the difference in his fortune.
Poor Guy--he little dreamed what was in store for him just inside the
door where he stood ringing one morning early in May, and which, when at
last it was opened, shut in a very different man from the one who went
through it three hours later, benumbed and half-crazed with bewilderment
and surprise.
CHAPTER V
THE DIVORCE
He had expected to meet Daisy in the hall, but she was nowhere in sight,
and she who appeared in response to the card he sent up seemed confused
and unnatural to such a degree that Guy asked in some alarm if anything
had happened, and where Daisy was.
Nothing had happened--that is--well, nothing was the matter with Daisy,
Mrs. McDonald said, only she was nervous and not feeling quite well that
morning, and thought she had better not come down. They had not expected
him so soon, she continued, and she regretted exceedingly that her
husband was not there, but she had sent for him, and hoped he would come
immediately. Had Mr. Thornton been to breakfast?
Yes, he had, and he did not understand at all what she meant; if Daisy
could not come to him he must go to her, he said, and he started for the
door, when Mrs. McDonald sprang forward, and, laying her hand on his
arm, held him back, saying:
"Wait, Mr. Thornton; wait till husband comes--to tell you--"
"Tell me what?" Guy demanded of her, feeling sure now that something had
befallen Daisy.
"Tell you--that--that--Daisy is--that he has--that--oh, believe me, it
was not my wish, and I don't know now why it was done," Mrs. McDonald
said, still trying to detain Guy and keep him in the room.
But her efforts were vain, for, shaking off her grasp, Guy opened the
hall door, and with a cry of joy caught Daisy herself in his arms.
In a state of fearful excitement and very curious to know what was
passing between her mother and Guy, she had stolen downstairs to listen,
and had reached the door just as Guy opened it so suddenly.
"Daisy, darling, I feared you were sick," he cried, nearly smothering
her with his caresses.
But Daisy writhed herself away from him, and, putting up her hands to
keep him off, cried out:
"Oh, Guy, Guy, you can't--you mustn't. You must never kiss me again or
love me any more, because I am--I am not--oh, Guy, I wish you had never
seen me; I am so sorry, too. I did like you. I--I--Guy--Guy--I ain't
your wife any more! Father has got a divorce!"
She whispered the last words, and then, affrighted at the expression of
Guy's face, fled half-way up the stairs, where she stood looking down
upon him, while, with a face as white as ashes, he, too, stood gazing at
her and trying to frame the words which should ask her what she meant.
He did not believe her literally; the idea was too preposterous, but he
felt that something horrible had come between him and Daisy--that in
some way she was as much lost to him as if he had found her coffined for
the grave, and the suddenness of the blow took from him for a moment his
powers of speech, and he still stood looking at her when the street door
opened and a new actor appeared upon the scene in the person of Mr.
McDonald, who had hastened home in obedience to the message from his
wife.
It was a principle of Mr. McDonald never to lose his presence of mind or
his temper, or the smooth, low tone of voice he had cultivated years ago
and practiced since with so good effect. And now, though he understood
the state of matters at once and knew that Guy had heard the worst, he
did not seem ruffled in the slightest degree, and his voice was just as
kind and sweet as ever as he bade Guy good-morning and advanced to shake
his hand. But Guy would not take it. He had always disliked and
distrusted Mr. McDonald, and he felt intuitively that whatever harm had
befallen him had come through the oily-tongued, insinuating man who
stood smilingly before him. With a gesture of disgust he turned away
from the offered hand, and in a voice husky with suppressed excitement,
asked:
"What does all this mean, that when, after a separation of months, I
come for my wife I am told that she is not my wife--that there has been
a--a divorce?"
Guy had brought himself to name the horrid thing, and the very sound of
the word served to make it more real and clear to his mind, and there
were great drops of sweat upon his forehead and about his mouth as he
asked what it meant.
"Oh, Guy, don't feel so badly. Tell him, father, I did not do it," Daisy
cried, as she stood leaning over the stair-rail and looking down at the
wretched man.
"Daisy, go to your room. You should not have seen him at all," Mr.
McDonald said, with more sternness of manner than was usual for him.
Then, turning to Guy, he continued:
"Come in here, Mr. Thornton, where we can be alone while I explain to
you what seems so mysterious now."
They went together into the little parlor, and for half an hour or more
the sound of their voices was distinctly heard as Mr. McDonald tried to
explain what there really was no explanation or excuse for. Daisy was
not contented at Elmwood, and though she complained of nothing, she was
not happy as a married woman, and was glad to be free again. That was
all, and Guy understood at last that Daisy was his no longer; that the
law which was a disgrace to the State in which it existed had divorced
him from his wife without his knowledge or consent, and for no other
reason than incompatibility of temperament, and a desire on Daisy's part
to be free from the marriage tie. Not a word had been said of Guy's
altered fortunes, but he felt that his comparative poverty was really
the cause of this great wrong, and for a few moments resentment and
indignation prevailed over every other feeling; then, when he remembered
the little blue-eyed, innocent-faced girl whom he had loved so much and
thought so good and true, he laid his head upon the sofa arm and groaned
bitterly, while the man who had ruined him sat coolly by, citing to him
many similar cases where divorces had been procured without the
knowledge of the absent party. It was a common--a very common thing, he
said, and reflected no disgrace upon either party where there was no
criminal charge. Daisy was too young and childish anyway, and ought not
to have been married for several years, and it was really quite as much
a favor to Guy as a wrong. He was free again--free to marry if he
liked--he had taken care to see to that, so--
"Stop!" Guy almost thundered out. "There is a point beyond which you
shall not go. Be satisfied with taking Daisy from me, and do not insult
me with talk of a second marriage. Had I found Daisy dead it would have
hurt me less than this fearful wrong you have done. I say you, for I
charge it all to you. Daisy could have had no part in it, and I ask to
see her and hear from her own lips that she accepts the position in
which you and your diabolical laws have placed her before I am willing
to give her up. Call her, will you?"
"No, Mr. Thornton," Mr. McDonald replied. "To see Daisy would be useless
and only excite you more than you are excited now. You cannot see her."
"Yes, he will, father. If Guy wants to see me, he shall."
It was Daisy herself who spoke, and who a second time had been acting
the part of listener. Going up to Guy, she knelt down beside him, and,
laying her arms across his lap, said to him:
"What is it, Guy? what is it you wish to say to me?"
The sight of her before him in all her girlish beauty, with that soft,
sweet expression on the face raised so timidly to his, unmanned Guy
entirely, and, clasping her in his arms, he wept passionately for a
moment, while he tried to say:
"Oh, Daisy, my darling, tell me it is a horrid dream; tell me you are
still my wife, and go with me to the home I have tried to make so
pleasant for your sake. It is not like Elmwood, but I will some time
have one handsomer even than that, and I'll work so hard for you! Oh,
Daisy, tell me you are sorry for the part you had in this fearful
business, if, indeed, you had a part, and I'll take you back so gladly!
Will you, Daisy? will you be my wife once more? I shall never ask you
again. This is your last chance with me. Reflect before you throw it
away."
Guy's mood was changing a little, because of something he saw in
Daisy's face--a drawing back from him when he spoke of marriage.
"Daisy must not go back with you; I shall not suffer that," Mr. McDonald
said, while Daisy, still keeping her arms around Guy's neck, where she
had put them when he drew her to him, replied:
"Oh, Guy! I can't go with you now; but I shall like you always, and I'm
so sorry for you. I never wanted to be married; but if I must, I'd
better have married Tom, or that old Chicago man; they would not feel so
bad, and I'd rather hurt them than you."
The utter childishness of the remark roused Guy, and with a gesture of
impatience, he put Daisy from him, and, rising to his feet, said
angrily:
"This, then is your decision, and I accept it; but, Daisy, if you have
in you a spark of true womanhood you will some time be sorry for this
day's work; while you!" and he turned fiercely upon Mr. McDonald--"words
cannot express the contempt I feel for you; and know, too, that I
understand you fully, and am certain that were I the rich man I was when
you gave your daughter to me, you would not have taken her away. But I
will waste no more words upon you. You are a villain! and Daisy is--"
His white lips quivered a little as he hesitated a moment, and then
added: "Daisy was my wife."
Then, without another word, he left the house, nor saw the white,
frightened face which looked after him so wistfully until a turn in the
street hid him from view.
CHAPTER VI
EXTRACTS FROM DIARIES
_Extract 1st--Mr. McDonald's._
MAY ----.
Well, that matter is over, and I can't say I am sorry, for the
expression in that Thornton's eye I do not care to meet a second time.
There was mischief in it, and it made one think of six-shooters and cold
lead. I never quite indorsed the man--first, because he was not as rich