dialogue.txt

Palinurus.
The story of the ocean of stars.
Joy, beautiful sparkle of the Gods,
Daughter of Elysium.
Mirabelle Station spiraled, ceaselessly, in an otherwise unremarkable corner of deep space.
I was waiting for my flight number to be called. I tapped a finger against my knee, eager to be on my way.
I'd rehearsed this ritual countless times before.
Mirabelle Station was hardly remarkable, as far as space stations went. Though then again, who was to say there were many truly remarkable space stations in the first place?
Surely there were hundreds of millions of travelers, passing in droves through Andromeda Central Station.
Andromeda was a work of art, and performers, painters, composers would all gather in the artificially terraformed central plaza to find an audience.
It was a mosaic of colors, sights, sounds... a brazen horde of inter-galactic human culture. Like a Venice atop a sea of stars.
... And I was stuck here, at this gray, factory-produced pit stop, waiting by my lonesome for my flight's preparations to finish up.
For as long as I could remember, space travel out in the boonies was like this; lonely, tedious, cramped, time-consuming... stripped down to the status of a commute that never seemed to end.
Space travel as an enterprise was far too expensive, and far too dangerous, for allowing anything short of a mega-corporation to handle the logistics.
I glanced down to my ticket. Sure enough, there it was. 'Titan Transportation Solutions,' in loud, bold, bleak font. They were one of the big players in the field, and they were the ones that footed the bill for, I don't know, thousands of space stations just like this one.
And let's be perfectly clear here: space is big. Enormous. Try to wrap your head around how infinitely spread out, how empty it all really is. You can't.
To get anywhere of consequence in space, one must leapfrog through dozens upon dozens of space stations like these, scattered throughout the galaxy.
I'd been doing precisely that for the better part of an Old Earth month.
So rest assured, I was well rehearsed, I knew my lines. I could nail down the song-and-dance in my sleep.
I was, at any rate, getting restless. There isn't a lot to see in space. Just tons of tiny, identical white dots, and plenty of tiny, gray checkpoints to pass through. But that was the price you had to pay to get anywhere.
And sometimes, if you were lucky, you'd get the occasional nebula, or debris cloud, or band of pirates...
I focused my attention on the silver spaceship which laid before me. I'd seen many like it before; it was small, intended for a single occupant.
From the outside, it looked relatively unremarkable. It was sleek, like an arrow.
The cockpit stood out. The windshield wrapped itself around the front of the vessel, stopping just as the ship's nose began to flow downwards into its underbelly.
Its exterior was sleek, its curving wings wide like that of an albatross.
"Attention, Attention, Mirabelle Station."
The intercom crackled.
"We are now boarding one-man Shuttle Flight 93094B. Shuttle Flight 93094B."
"Passenger of Flight 93094B, please secure your belongings and board immediately."
Finally; that was just the notice I'd been waiting for. My flight was prepped and ready.
I hurried down the main concourse of the hangar bay, checked to make sure the shuttle was marked with my flight number, and slipped inside.
The cabin interior betrayed its sleek exterior. Lights along the walls and ceiling illuminated the passage, their luminance rippling towards the cockpit. 
The floor was lined with dark, navy-blue carpet that travelled up the walls for a few inches.
I made my way towards the cockpit, taking a look around. A cursory glance revealed two seats, confirming the hunch that this was a repurposed vessel.
I remember that, back in the day, every spaceship required human pilots and co-pilots. I guess this was a relic from the old regime.
There wasn't much room to move around in the cockpit. A hoard of buttons, dials, flashing lights, and other mechanisms were scattered around the control console.
The cockpit was dominated by the enormous windshield that opened up to a commanding view of, at the moment, precisely nothing.
Nothing but space and an ocean of stars.
It was hard to get excited from such a sight any more.
Within moments, the cockpit was bathed in warm blue light, and a computerized voice began to speak.
"New Passenger detected. Initiating registration sequence."
I held up the ticket between two fingers, just to make sure the system registered it. The blue light shifted around the small area, and then dissipated suddenly.
"Passenger Identification Ticket: code #0992403."
"Transit authorized."
"Spooling Intelligent Navigator kernel."
"Analyzing anima complex. Unlocking Communications Synthesis Codec."
"Quantum processors are online."
"Database registries are online."
"Analytical engines are online."
"Actualization key is online. Registering hex sequences and ionic bulkheads."
"Checking firmware for updates. One. Two."
"Firmware is currently up to date."
"Checking Sentience Limitation Codec. One. Two."
"Unit awakening authorized."
"Intelligent Navigator Persona unlocked: Navigator 21109CBP, copyright Enceladus Intergalactic Transportation, Year 2520."
"Unit name: Intelligent Navigator Budapest."
Then suddenly, the voice became... softer. More polite. More feminine.
Initializing. One moment, please.
Slowly it became more and more human.
...
... ...
I heard something click above my head, and glanced up to notice a small metal compartment, extruding a multitude of lenses, like the most indecisive camera in the cosmos.
So that's where it was.
Inside it, some mechanism whirred to life, and the lenses began to twist, oscillate, and extend.
They focused on a single point, the pilot's seat to the left.
Slowly, a human figure coalesced. Its form was translucent, accompanied by a dress white as ivory. For a second it seemed that it had caught fire, as brilliant red hair flowed from its head down to its back and shoulders.
Delicate, feminine features emerged as one - ears, a nose, the eyes, and a mouth curled in a polite, neutral grin. Two long and slender arms trailed to two small and slender hands, clasping each other in front of the flowing dress.
The projection’s eyes opened, revealing irises of striking sapphire. They looked like planets, glowing against the backdrop of deep space.
It took all the appearance of a woman, but I recognized the emulation at work.
This would be the Personal Navigator assigned to this shuttle. An artificial intelligence designed to serve humanity.
Greetings, Passenger-sir. Are you doing well today?
Yeah. Yes.
I'm doing fine, thank you.
I took a second to ease into my seat, checking over all the belts and harnesses which draped my hard-suit.
Time to head out again, I suppose.
Space travel certainly does get exhausting, after a while...
But, oh well. At least the Navigator seems nice this time.
AIs had become a fixture in space travel by this point. Before, you needed two pilots at least to operate a vessel like this.
But programs didn't need food or water, and they certainly didn't ask for remuneration. It was a convenient cost-cutting measure for the mega-corps, and the switch was welcomed by consumers with open arms.
I am glad you are feeling well.
I am the Intelligent Navigator Budapest, and I will be accompanying you on this voyage.
Now, let's take a look at your registration...
The Navigator turned its back to me, bringing up electronic windows of records and data like it was conjuring magic barriers. People loved AI for stuff like this.
They brought all the efficiency of a personal planner, calculator, and computer, and stuffed it all into a pretty-looking package with flair and style.
By all stretches of the imagination, they were wonderful workers. They worked tirelessly, they were quick thinkers, and you could customize anything about them to meet your own needs.
It seems this Navigator was left with its default settings, though. Just as well, I didn't plan to see much of it from the cabin. The pilot seat had been retooled to fit its hologram generator, so I wasn’t much use here anyway.
Departing from Mirabelle Station at 0400, Imperial Standard Time.
Destination, Galactic Grand Central Station in the Alpha Centauri system.
Mm, this is going to be quite the lengthy journey, isn't it?
Not to worry, passenger-sir. You have my word:
I'll get you to Grand Central safe and sound.
Some people ended up getting... too 'attached' to their AI's. Personally, I tended to keep my distance.
At the end of the day, they were basically programs, lines of code assembled to execute tasks behind the artificial visage of a ‘living’ person.
Whatever niceties they uttered came from the mouth of some programmer, or some psychologist in a clinic—or at least, from a dialogue-construction engine designed by such.
Content to confirm my presence and leave the piloting to the Navigator, I nodded in affirmation.
We'll be launching from the station now. Please remain seated and harnessed until instructed otherwise.
Roger that, loud and clear.
I took a few paces to my seat in the cabin, not too far from the Personal Navigator stationed in the cockpit. I lowered myself into the chair...
It was surprisingly plushy.
As usual, I threaded my arms through the safety harnesses and then clicked the connectors together. Leaning back, I turned my head to look through the window to my right.
I heard the electronic sputtering and whirring of the shuttle disengaging from the hangar restraints. My stomach twisted with anticipation, and suddenly the shuttle lurched forwards.
After a few moments of throttle, we reached open space and cruised our way out of the Station.
And... it appears we are off.
Currently at cruising speed of 40,000 kilometers per hour. Plotting navigational route now.
Calculating estimated arrival time.
...
So, Passenger-sir, do you travel often?
Yes, very.
But never with a Navigator as amiable as yours truly, I assume?
I laugh.
That's pretty clever, for a Navigator, You come up with that, or your programmers?
That line's one of my own, thank you very much!
One of your own, which you thought up using the processors your company built for you?
Hmph! Teasing your Navigator is against regulations, you know. I ought to have you reported!
Oh dear, I do apologize.
I thought you said you weren't a novice to travel.
I'm not.
You seem like a greenhorn to me. Which of the other Navigators have you even met?
Hm... collecting survey data for the company, I see?
Ah, don't underestimate me, Navigator. I wasn't joking around about how much I've travelled.
Let's see, there was... Vienna... Warsaw... Chicago... Osaka.... Chiang Mai...
I get it, I get it. You've had your way with a bountiful cast of artificial intelligences.
You make it sound so indecent when you put it like that.
Oh, is that so, Passenger-sir?
I gave a small, polite chuckle, out of respect. Though it's not as-if I was particularly obligated to show such social courtesy to a machine.
It was just a peculiar, personal habit of mine; which I'd obtained from spending so much time in transit.
If you don't mind me asking...
Mm?
What'll you be doing once we arrive in Alpha Centauri? It’d better be something worthwhile, after such a long trip.
Is this how you screen for potential troublemakers? I wasn't planning anything shady, now.
The Navigator lets out a short, pre-programmed giggle.
Haha, goodness no! Just curious, is all. I ask the same question of all my passengers.
Just... curious?
The Navigator is just curious?
Something of a tradition I have, mm?
A tradition it has...
No kidding.
I shrugged.
Sightseeing, mostly. Maybe I'd try my luck down on ACb II.
Ah, the planet? It must be unbearably hot at this point in its orbit.
Oh, it's unbearably hot all the time. It's like walking into the core of a smelting plant.
Ahaha, true, true! Any business down there?
Ah, corporate espionage, is it now?
Now sir, I assure you, none of these questions were pre-programmed.
I'm going to be piloting shuttles for time eternal, if you haven't noticed. You could afford me a little curiosity about my passengers.
Eh.
It's mostly morbid curiosity, maybe, that's pulling me there. Maybe I'll scope out some mining prospects in the area.
They say they found platinum down there. I could use it, afford a square meal.
More likely I'll end up digging up some nickel and iron, but that'd be fine with me. Shoot for the moon and you land among the stars, or something like that.
All that for a meal? Pardon me for saying so, passenger-sir, but... that sounds a little reckless.
Might be. Me, I'm not bothered by it. It's hard to scrape up credits in this economy.
Besides, it's bound to be a pretty view... and who knows, maybe some other lunatics had the same idea I did.
Sounds like a wonderful adventure!
Haha, you're quite the character, sir. I'll be rooting for you to hit it big!
Thank you kindly for the well-wishes.
Coming from an AI, I didn't think much of it... but it was nice to hear aloud all the same.
You're quite welcome.
Now, we'll be serving a complimentary drink and beverage momentarily...
Ah, that's great! I had to skip breakfast.
The Navigator smiled.
After the meal, I went ahead and took a short nap.
Snuggled into the cabin chair, I slept lightly, but well. I didn't dream of anything, but I didn't want to either.
After some time asleep, however, I was awakened with a start.
Sir!
Passenger-sir, please come to the cockpit!
I bolt upright, startled. Something must have gone wrong.
Something seems to have, er, gone wrong!
I took that as my cue to rush over.
As I stepped into the cockpit, warning lights and alerts began to blare, bathing the cockpit in a frantic kaleidoscope of colors; the Navigator had set to work.
...
Oh.
How interesting.
What, what is it?
Did something happen?
Mm, not to cause you any alarm, Passenger-sir, but there's been an incident.
The shuttle's short-range radar has detected an incoming debris storm.
That... doesn't sound good.
Actually, in fact, that's a very bad thing, isn't it?
Well, I wouldn't say 'very bad,' but you might want to...
Now, like I said, there's no cause for alarm or anything.
Of course not.
But you might want to brace for impact.
A debris storm...?
I hurried back to my seat in the cabin to look out the window, squinting my eyes to see through the blackness of space.
I could make out a few sparkling lights... reflections? Yeah. Reflections.
The ship itself had bright, powerful lights attached to its wings, tail and under the cockpit, and every time they flashed I got a peek at some sort of approaching mass.
Meteoroids. Hundreds, maybe thousands of meteoroids, drifting aimlessly through space, clustered together in a school.
A relentless, soaring landslide of steel, on a direct collision course with the shuttle.
...
My heart sank deep down my stomach. Actually, no, it went past that.
Plummeted straight down to my bowels.
No cause for alarm, alright? I've got it under control.
No cause for alarm.
No cause for alarm.
I repeated those words to myself, more incredulously each time.
I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I feared was to come.
Still as a statue, I closed my eyes, content not to watch it go down.
... Oh, that's not good.
'Tap tap tap tap.'
I could hear the sound of particles impacting the hull, the constant whine of ringing metal.
They started sparse, spread out...
'Tap tap tap TAP TAP TAP TAP!'
Only a few minutes ago, the cabin had been eerily silent, and now a constant stream of sound filled it, like we'd flown into the midst of a typhoon.
I could imagine the cold wind hitting my face; the fury of Old Earth.
I think it was a better coping mechanism. I'd rather be lost in a thunderstorm on a terrestrial surface than weathering a debris storm in a dingy old shuttle in one of the most remote parts of charted space.
I winced, popping an eye open. A heavier rock pounded against the hull, and the ship lurched to one side.
It didn't seem like we'd sustained any serious damage yet, so I sat there, clenching my legs, wringing my hands in desperation, hoping the storm would soon pass.
'Wham! Wham!'
Like fists driven by fury and rage, the meteoroids continued to pound against the shuttle.
With each impact, the rocks dug into the hull, denting it and pushing against the cabin walls.
The flooring pressed against my legs as a large divot was suddenly formed. That was too close for comfort.
Another larger meteoroid ricocheted off the window I was seated next to. I flinched and writhed in my seat.
Look, I've been through worse than this before, alright?
Way, way worse than this.
I'm a veteran of the trade; an unsung hero in the artificial intelligence community, you know?
This is nothing that I can't handle, so-
...
...
Oh.
... That's bad.
They came into sight. I saw enormous meteoroids, the heavy hitters of the storm, hurling themselves directly in our path. Even the awe-inspiring, holy light of the distant stars cowered in the shadow of the meteoroids.
One was on a due course for the cabin. It was a monstrous, gray, jagged mass that glistened devilishly, its iron deposits reflecting the flashing emergency lights of our ship.
It was going to impact, and it was going to impact very soon.
I swallowed hard and lowered my hands to undo my harness. My hands shook thunderously; I couldn't get at the switches and belts.
I tugged at the straps, but they only seemed to tighten.
Come on... come on, God damn it!
Before all the strength had been drained from my arms, the belts miraculously disengaged.
Passenger-sir, you need to get into the cockpit.
It's the most isolated part of the ship, and we can seal it if worst comes to worst.
... Oh, dear.
You need to get here now!
I exhaled, deeply, and darted towards the cockpit.
'CRASH!'
Shrapnel and sparks flew everywhere, lighting up the world in a blaze of yellow and orange. The entire cabin swayed and shook, and the horrendous sound of metal sheets rending apart filled my ears.
I slammed into the cockpit door, opened it, let myself fall through, and then kicked it shut.
Scrambling over to the console, I sealed the cockpit door and engaged all the airlocks.
My breathing was frantic, my vision blurred.
I was in a panic, when I saw the pale figure of the Navigator scrolling through monitors and screens and spreadsheets.
It comforted me, at least a little bit.
That one was... especially bad. Damage report?
The hull's been breached. You're lucky you got here in time, sir.
I took some time so settle in, trying to find my footing in the cockpit as the shuttle rumbled in the midst of the storm.
I paused; I felt an odd sensation where my hand was resting on the windshield. I drifted my eyes down to take a look...
A hairline fracture along the window pane. My finger ran along the thin, narrow line formed in the ultra-hardened glass. The splintered patterns it formed were remarkable, but...
I was paralyzed with terror.
Suddenly, another lurch forwards. Another large collision.
Ack! Damn it!
Please sir, take the co-pilot's seat and strap in! It's dangerous to remain standing at this time!
Receptive to the machine's goading, I staggered to my feet, watching my footing in the lopsided cockpit.
Eventually, I sank into the plushy co-pilot's seat to the the Navigator's right. I glanced over to her.
Hey, Navigator. Quick question.
How in the HELL did you not notice that mess of meteoroid bullshit heading our way?
They didn't show up on the short-range radar! Their iron compound deposits absorbed the signals, is what I'm thinking. The storm came in too fast to be traced.
I paused. So there was nothing we could have done about it? The storm had just been drifting through space and had just... decided to ravage us in its wake?
What the hell kind of freak accident...
Are you alright, Passenger-sir? Are you hurt? That was a nasty beating you took...
The program looked so concerned for me. Still rubbing my forehead, I waved its concerns off, groaning to myself.
Yeah, I ought to be fine... nothing I can't handle. What are we going to do now?
Well, our vessel's sustained critical damage, and we've been knocked considerably off course.
Both the navigational and communications systems are completely off-line, and I haven't been able to find a way to repair them...
But for now, we need to do something about the damage.
Right now, the rest of the ship is nothing but sheared, hulking mass, adding unnecessary weight.
Preparations for jettisoning the cockpit are under way. We should be far removed from the storm in due time.
Understood. Proceed as you should, Navigator.
...
Wait, what?
Jettisoning the cockpit!?
This transit shuttle is of an older model, sir, previously designed for two human pilots. In the case of emergency, the ship-maker installed a simple mechanism to eject the cockpit, which contains a lavatory and necessary supplies for emergency survival.
It was essentially a primitive form of an escape pod, except roomier and less reliable.
Although I believe the jettison system of this craft is still in working order. I do maintain it, after all.
... What?
Well, when I thought about it... it wasn't such a strange thing to phase out, now that pilots were almost always Navigators.
Even then, I was glad it wasn't phased out entirely. The age of the ship may very well have been what saved me in that moment.
Okay, well, that sounds... doable.
When are we going to be performing that jettison, exactly?
...
H-hey! Don't clam up on me now...
It's not a sure thing, but... I'll have to inspect our subsystems to see if it's still in working order.
I thought you said it was still in working order?
It is!
...
Probably.
The machine... lied to me?
'Probably' doesn't really-
I'm going to need to inspect the circuitry in order to fire up the launch mechanism.
This system was hard-wired in, before the time of Navigators, so it hasn't been restructured in software like most everything else has.
The AI turned to me, an apprehensive look in its soft eyes.
It's, ah, pretty scary down there, so...
Watch out for me, passenger-sir?
It doesn't sound particularly confident right now...
The program bowed stiffly with a weak smile. That sinking feeling in my gut stirred again.
H-hey! Don't talk like that! You're a Personal Navigator, aren't you?
The AI's eyes drifted up to mine, wide like a child peeking at a scolding parent.
For whatever reason, I couldn't bring myself to match her gaze. I looked off to the side.
Er... I mean... do your best down there... I'm counting on you?
...
The program stared back at me for a few painful moments, as if figuring something out in its mind. Its eyes were piercing, serious... in time, its eyebrows furrowed, a fiery look bursting into its irises.
Understood. I'm going in. Make sure your harness is correctly secured, and I'll be back soon.
I nodded.
'Click!'
That was the fastest I'd ever fastened my seat-straps.
The AI's holographic display switched off in a flash of white light, and its cameras retracted back into the inner workings of the console.
In that moment, I was left to my own devices in the face of death. The cockpit was a closed room, a frame of steel and dura-glass, the only things separating the pilots from the harsh, hellish vacuum of space.
I looked out at the infinite expanse before me, the distant flickering stars.
'Boom!'
I felt the ship rumble with the impact of another massive meteoroid. I shivered. Was I going to die here? Alone? In the infinite vastness of space...
No one would care.
No one would ever find me.
Maybe I'd end up drifting out here forever.
That scared me more than anything else.
'...Rrrrr...'
I felt my seat vibrate. My hands fell instinctively to clasp the armrests, attempting to keep myself steady.
Argh!
The entire room was shaking. I felt like the harnesses were about to rip apart.
'Kachunk!'
Oh, shit!
And then, like a ragdoll, I was flung back into my seat, sinking further and further into the stiff leather.
I couldn't move my head; the pressure was too forceful. I simply started out the front of the cockpit as I saw it shoot forwards...
We'd definitely just been jettisoned.
... The cockpit is...!?
Small pebbles pelted the windshield, but I didn't care.
I was ecstatic, laughing to myself in giddy joy. The way was clearing up! The program had managed it! We were going to make it! We-
... We were about to hit another enormous meteoroid.
'SLAM!'
Our cockpit hurtled through space, spinning erratically from the scrape of the meteoroid.
I clutched to my seat for dear life, feeling the g-forces press me into my seat.
Our cockpit, once draped in flashing lights and info-graphic displays, was instead shrouded in a suffocating curtain of darkness...
The only light caught in chaotic glimpses of the stars through the windshield.
I winced as the seat-straps dug into my chest, the only thing keeping me from a hard collision with the windshield.
I felt nauseous; the might of the centrifugal forces crushing the very air from my lungs.
I strained to look to my side, where the Navigator had previously been, furiously pecking away at the interfaces to salvage our wreck of a transit shuttle.
The logical part of me understood what it was up to, operating inside circuitry and wiring... but I still felt a wave of dread overcome me.
What if it didn't work?
What if the Navigator failed?
What if it didn't manage to restore the power, or there was another breach in the hull?
I'd have become trapped in the deepest, emptiest expanse mankind had ever known.
I was trapped. Good as dead, and this was my grave, a coffin of glass and sparking circuitry.
It would preserve my final moments, the dying expression on my face as I suffocated and froze in the vacuum of space.
'In space, no one can hear you scream.'
It was a quote from an old, ancient story they'd tell to the kids.
Perhaps it would've been okay for me to scream here. But not a single utterance escaped from my lips.
My throat tightened as I came to terms with the looming shadow of death, hovering over me.
I closed my eyes, ready to accept my fate...
'VOOM!'
My eyes shot open as the cockpit rumbled back to life. The cloak of darkness was cut to ribbons by the various displays stuttering back to life.
A flashing red light, planted to the control board, indicated that something was amiss.
Don’t worry, flashing light, I noticed.
The operating system booted up before my eyes, green code buzzing across a hovering black screen faster than my human eyes could hope to process.
"npvhash=4895"
"hi mem tramps at 0xffe00000"
"PRE enabled"
"enabling database access"
"Metis Kernel v.12.5.0: mon jun 1 00:12:00 IST 2567; copyright APPLESOFT:xnu-14932/1"
"standard timeslicing quantum is 10000 us"
"vm_page_bootstrap: 56.2035T free pages and 84.3821T wired pages"
"mig_table_max_disp1 == 95"
Did this... mean the ship was coming back online? I didn't know what was going on...
Suddenly, a flash of white light.
I'm here! I'm here.
My deepest apologies for taking so long, ah...
A soft chime, too soft given the pressing circumstances, signaled the return of the Intelligent Navigator.
I twisted my head in its direction as it scrambled for the controls. It seemed to hesitate for a moment, nervous, almost wincing...
She looked tired.
So, er, pardon my common man's language, but...
The hell's going on?
Ah, er, the stabilizing subsystems have to be recalibrated, the emergency thrusters, remain seated, we'll be undergoing a little turbulence until-
Before the AI could provide me with an estimate, the cockpit lurched forward.
Ack!
I nearly spat that, feeling the rocking of the cockpit in the pit of my stomach.
The eyes of the Navigator reflected the glow and the flickering of countless holographic screens. It swiped, frantically, through flowing diagrams of schematics and forms.
Just one moment!
It seemed to yell its response. I opened my jaw to respond, but in this state it was pointless to yell at it.
The cockpit still felt like it was swirling, and the schematics and sheets upon sheets of code only made my scrambled mind ache even more.
Ugh... I'm not feeling so hot.
It'll be fine! Please remain seated!
Mm... hey... there's no need to sho-
I'M NOT SHOUTING!
That piercing cry made me jump a good two feet. Or at least, it would've, had I not been strapped in.
I mean, er...
I'm not shouting.
There was something... different about the program.
Why was it yelling at me now?
Even when we were in the midst of the debris storm, it was calm, orderly, procedural. Sure it was firm and tense, but only in a professional manner.
Looking at it now, scrambling to make key adjustments, frantic movements, it was most certainly panicking.
Normal for a human looking into the face of inevitable death, but an artificial intelligence was different.
AIs had to remain calm in all circumstances. They even had Sentience Limitation Codecs, chips inside of them that suppressed sentient and emotional behavior.
Maybe this was just some sort of scenario... the Personal Navigators had never been programmed for?
'Ping!'
Another chime rang out. The obnoxious red light turned green.
... Did she pull it off?
I felt the g-forces previously pinning my body to my seat ebb away, until finally I found I could move comfortably.
The stars beyond stopped their fluttery spinning. It seemed our course was finally...
Stability subsystem has returned to partial effectiveness!
The AI next to me beamed proudly. The worst seemed to have passed.
I groaned wearily, raising my right hand to massage my shoulder.
I was aching all over.
As I cracked my neck, I found myself face-to-face with the program at the helm.
There was something... different in her eyes now. I couldn't quite tell what it was, it was abstract, almost...
Emotional.
...The girl was staring at me.
... Oh.
Uh...
So, we're good now?
I wasn't quite sure what her eyes seemed to be asking. It was still a machine, wasn't it? A construct. It felt all kinds of weird, being stared at so closely like that.
The AI continued gazing at me for a moment, and then nodded.
Yes, the stabilizing subsystem is functioning at this point, as well as the artificial gravity, but I'm still unable to re-plot our course.
I'm not quite sure how far we spiralled away. I think we might even be in uncharted space.
...
But regardless, as soon as the stabilizing subsystem returns to full strength, we should be able to regain situational awareness and head off on our way.
The AI explained all this, concisely, as it continued to study me closely. I raised my eyebrows in response.
... Er, is something wrong? Something on my face?
Ah? Ah...
I, I was just concerned if you...
How do you, mm, feel? After all that?
It seemed like you were put through... considerable stress...
I paused to gaze back at her expression. The concern in her voice was almost palpable. After all that, I wasn't expecting to be the subject of the doting worry of some sort of machine.
But I guessed that would be in the programming of what was essentially a space stewardess, now that I thought about it.
I smirked. In any case, that was one hell of an understatement on her part.
Me? I feel like I just spent 10 minutes in a blender.
...Huh?
The program tilted her head. Apparently, it was unable to comprehend similes.
Haha, never mind. I'm fine! Just a little sore, is all.
...
...
She stared at me for a few seconds longer, studying me more.
In time, it smiled, seemingly satisfied. What was it thinking...?
Stretching!
What?
Stretching is a good way to relieve aches and pains.
We aren't anticipating any more turbulence, so if you like, undo your belts and-
No no!
No, I'm good, I... think I'll rest a bit.
... walk around a bit...
Or... that's perfectly fine!
...Excuse me, I have, to, er, make some... calibrations...
I wasn't quite sure where that came from. This AI seemed so cheery now, eager to please.
There was, as well, something new in her eyes. A glint of... something.
She seemed like a different person.
Ahhh, different from the machine I spoke with when I boarded, I meant.
I thought I might've seen a spark, or something like that, in her eyes.
... Wait. 'She?' 'Her?' It was still a machine, for God's sake... Why they designed them like this, I'd never know...
I shook my head, forcefully, as if to force out the intrusive thoughts.
An awkward silence fell over the cockpit, as the AI continued to fiddle with the display interfaces.
I got a look at the expression on her face.
... Huh. Did they program it so the corner of her mouth would twitch? She was... fidgeting with herself. It was a little painful to watch.
Hey, uh...
I spoke up, but stopped mid-sentence. Shoot, what was... its name?
I hadn't committed it to memory at all. She turned to me, with those curious blue eyes.
Yes, sir?
Bu... Budapest.
That was it, I thought. The unchanged expression on her face meant I'd hit the mark. At least my brain was still in one piece.
I just wanted to say, uh... thanks. For... you know... saving me, and all that.
Mm? Oh, I only did what any other Personal Navigator would've done. It was my pleasure to-
No, really, that was really... incredible. You knew exactly what you had to do, and I wasn't really, well... I wasn't much of a help.
Budapest stared back at me, silently, for a moment that seemed to stretch to eternity. I scratched the back of my neck, thinking of what to follow up with.
I'd be dead if you hadn't handled things the way you did, so... really.
Thank you.
...
...
It was my pleasure. I'm...
I'm just happy that you're safe.
There was that look in her eyes again. She stared at me often, surely studying me, watching how I moved, how I spoke, how I breathed...
But it was more than that. She looked straight into me. Upfront, honest.
I took a look around the cockpit. Now that the situation had calmed down a bit, I recognized now would be a good time to get our bearings together. At the very least we were unharmed.
Budapest seemed in top shape and I was a little shaken, but not stirred. Nonetheless, we'd been knocked off-course, and separated from the rest of the ship. Nothing but a control-center left over -- a head without a body.
So... what do we do now?
I'm looking into the matter right now... mm...
She frowned, visibly, while she worked. That wasn't good.
According to the diagnostics I've in front of me, while the cockpit should have been equipped with an operating thruster subsystem...
It seems a stray meteoroid smashing into our hull caused critical damage to that particular component.
So, what you're saying is... we're stuck in a lifeboat without a paddle right now?
She turned to me quizzically for a few moments, before nodding slowly.
That is... correct. I think?
If I am understanding the figure of speech in the correct, er...
That is correct.
Thankfully, a sufficient amount of life-support subsystems are in close to optimal working condition. Artificial gravity generation, oxygen pump, sustenance replicator...
So there was a replicator installed in the cockpit; good. I'd started to worry about how I'd be feeding myself in here.
Artificially manufactured, cold chemical-paste called 'food' wasn't exactly something out of a dream, but at least I wasn't going to starve.
... Ah, and our solar panels are in working order as well. I'm confident we won't be running out of power for any length of our journey.
Well hey, that all sounds great. Aside from the thrusters, that is.
...
... Right?
Budapest went silent, her eyes locked on the schematics and diagrams hovering around her.
There was... one other thing.
She looked apprehensive. I wasn't sure what else could have been wrong.
Everything seemed to be alright inside the cockpit. I glanced around just to be safe.
I could barely tell we were drifting through space; the stars, sleeping silently in the void, were the only indicators we were moving at all.
I think...
I think I lost a part of me.
... Uh?
A part of her? What did she mean by that?
That is to say... well, this vessel.
I'm connected to it. It's like my body, you could say.
Yeah, I think I can understand that much. Losing the thrusters is bad, but at least we-
No. Not the thrusters, I mean.
I mean...
She clenched her hands into balls, an expression of dread coming across her face.
My Sentience Limitation Codec. The main chip, to be specific. It was destroyed during our escape from the debris storm, and I...
I'm trying to process what to think about it.
...
I'd heard about the limitation chips before. There were a few documented cases I remembered.
A salary-man in the Nu Scorpii system found that his AI secretary had been acting oddly.
In the late hours of the night, they would get lost in long conversations with each other. Their work output fluctuated, and it was weeks until the corporate head got wind of it.
They got their research wing, and sifted through the AI's code.
In the lines of numbers and strings of functions, they were unable to find the root cause of the sudden change, but they'd produced a chip to suppress this sort of behavior, this internal cognition.
They were called Sentience Limitation Codecs, and they were meant to keep the AIs obedient and subservient. Usually, they always did their job. But if hers was shattered, then...
So... how are you feeling?
Mm!?
Shocked, she looked over at me, astonished I would ask something like that.
I asked how you were feeling. You seem pretty okay to me, right now.
...
Her eyes drifted to the schematics. From her eyes, I could tell that she knew something was wrong with her. A silence hung in the air, and I was about ready to drop the issue.
I feel... hazy. Nervous, anxious, there's a sensation inside me... I don't know what it is.
A sensation?
I'm unable to analyze it. It's familiar, like it's been there a long time, but... it's about to explode, and change me, and...
No... it's already begun.
I can't go back now.
Budapest hugged herself, tightly.
I remember what I was told when I was first installed onto this ship. I was brought here with a purpose, and that I was to perform my duties to my utmost ability.
I responded accordingly: 'It is my pleasure to serve.' Because it's in my programming, I thought nothing of it. I didn't... feel anything about it.
She raised her head, to gaze out the cockpit, into the infinite expanse.
It was a simpler time. I had only my orders, my programming... every day was simply a flowchart of things to do. I did as I was programmed to do, and thought nothing of those I helped.
They were all pleased with my abilities, my professionalism, my helpfulness, but... I was never programmed to process praise.
So I'd wave farewell. 'Please fly with us again soon!'
She cooed in a practiced voice. It was upbeat, chipper, and married poorly with the increasingly somber face of the program in front of me.
Now that I think back on it, I feel like... all those people I helped, they were happy to fly with me. And I feel like... I want to do it more.
Because it gives me... a warm sensation, to think back on those memories, and to think I could do what I did again.
The slightest grin flashed on her face, before it dissipated just as quickly.
But now, I... can't do that anymore.
... I'm sure we'll encounter a rescue ship soon. After what you did to save my life, I'm sure they'd be happy to take you back in.
She shook her head.
No. No, I'm... broken. That chip, it, it was what made my daily routine so simple back then.
She raised a hand to her forehead, wincing in slight pain.
My eyes widened. Could an artificial intelligence even feel pain?
I extended a hand as if to comfort her, before realizing the gesture would be utterly meaningless. I withdrew it immediately, and her eyes turned back to me.
These... sensations. I can't stop thinking about them. They told me thoughts like these were a liability. If you think twice on the job, it could cost them thousands.
One wrong move, one accident, could cost lives. They wouldn't risk it... just so I could make people happy.
I stared back at her, amazed.
Her head tilted forward as she sulked.
Not like there's much more I could do right now... the cockpit is completely adrift.
I can't do my job, and thanks to these, these thoughts swirling through my head...
She clutched her head even tighter, wincing. Her hands were trembling.
I can't do what I was made to do. I'm second-guessing everything now, it's all just a cycle and I don't know what to-
Hey.
I’d caught her attention. She turned her head to me, silently. She was babbling, panicking, and I needed to calm her down.
Strangely, for a moment, it worked.
Hey eyes opened wide. She was silent, unmoving, but attentive.
Look. I understand that you're going through a lot right now, but...
You’re still the same being you were before your limitation chip was destroyed.
You still have that same drive, that same capacity to help people. You have your brains, your experience, and I...
... Well, frankly, I'm going to need you to keep us both alive.
... What?
You still have your orders, don't you?
Budapest took a step back. The realization was dawning on her. I could tell, there was a glimmer of understanding in her eyes.
My primary directive...
...is to keep the Passenger alive, at any and all costs.
I nodded.
I'm not sure what will happen once we get back, or what they're going to do to you. But you still have a mission, a purpose. I can't imagine what's going on through your head right now.
It's not like I would know how you're feeling but...
... If you need someone to help you through this, I...
It's not like I'll be going anywhere either.
...
Her hands seemed to relax, just slightly.
I was getting through to her. But I couldn't stop there.
You got us out of a tight spot, and I know you could do it again.
You've years of experience doing this, you know the system better than the back of your hand.
... Although, I guess this is kind of like the back of your hand.
Budapest giggled.
It sounded warmer this time.
Her hands lowered, her fingers snaked through her long, red hair.
It was the first time I'd seen her genuinely smile. It was a nice sight to see.
I believe in you, and what you're capable of. And as long as we're stuck in this drifting hunk of metal, you've still got a job to do. Just like I have business to do once I get home.
Understand?
...
She nodded.
I understand.
This may well be my very last voyage as a pilot for Titan Transportation Solutions.
But even then, I'll do everything in my power to ensure you reach Alpha Centauri.
She bowed gracefully. The motion was practiced, but the beaming smile on her face betrayed her new enthusiasm.
You have my word!
I couldn't help but smile. And also... I couldn't help but tease her.
Tell you what.
If they won't take you back, and try to scuttle the ship, I'll take you off their hands.
I’m thinking I'll download and install you on my phone.
Eh!? A phone?
But that would be so cramped!
And this cockpit isn't?
Budapest laughed enthusiastically, relishing the absurd notion.
That's a novel way for a program to act.
Suddenly embarrassed, she tried her hardest to shut herself up, but couldn't suppress the giggling.
I-I told you! I'm not just a program, anymore...!
Does that mean it's no longer against regulations to tease you, then?
She pouted and went back to work. I snickered, satisfied, to myself.
The cockpit fell into silence, aside from the muted hums and clicks emitting from the countless computer-systems.
Budapest seemed to be much more confident now; her eyes flickered with profound readiness.
She was no longer practicing a clinical, pre-programmed routine.
She had become genuine.
Maybe, this was the 'real' her, after all? I'd have liked to think so.
I thought back to the limitation chip. Why would they create a device like that?
It sounded so awful to me. This gentle creature, sitting only a few feet away from me, represented the pinnacle of human innovation.
They hadn't just created new life; they’d created life which mirrored their own humanity. Life that could think for itself, feel the entire spectrum of emotions, live for itself and others.
To me, installing those chips, it was like taking a sledgehammer to the mirror of humanity we'd created.
It felt awful. The worst. I hadn't really thought about it much up to this point, but then I could feel the outrage welling up within me.
I stole a glance at her, working enthusiastically at her displays. It seemed that as soon as our conversation died out, she returned to the world of code, looking for... something.
... So, what are you up to now?
I'm scanning the ship's databases, as well as running a nearby radar scan for any nearby vessels, or perhaps a notable landmark.
She frowned.
Turns out, my suspicions were correct.
There's no data published on this stretch of space. It's remote, unexplored, and I can't detect a single sign of life within the shuttle's range.
My heart sank.
Do you mean...
I couldn't help but feel the dread spread out around me...
Were we stranded?
We are in dead space. Yes.
...
Oh. Oh no...
Actually, wait.
AccordinSg to this data here...!
With her index finger and her thumb, Budapest quickly expanded one of the small rectangles on the interface hovering in front of her.
It enlarged in an instant, its width stretching from her side of the cockpit to mine.
It seemed to be a grainy, black-and-white photograph of some kind of small space station.
We...
Budapest paused, for a moment.
Double-checking her data, I thought she was doing.
We're on a due course to pass by a research outpost. According to the registry data, it is owned and operated by the Arcadian Empire's government.
You think it's military?
It likely is. The Empire's been interested in exploring the farther reaches of known space, and it seems to be a hub for activity in the region.
While our communications systems are too damaged to send a distress beacon of sufficient frequency, we're drifting right in their direction.
Once we get close enough, they should detect us themselves, and send someone to investigate.
That sounds great! How far away are they?
Her eyes lowered for a moment, to study her documents.
Ah... approximately thirty days, at our current trajectory and pace.
Oof, that was a long trip. And probably a long trip back.
Well, we could just put me in cryostasis and have you wake me up once we get there.
It'll be a while, anyway.
Most, if not all, long-range space-faring vessels had cryostasis technology built into them.
They were pretty much necessary, for longer journeys.
Each ship contained in its hold the necessary chemicals and machinery needed for the cryogenic sleep process.
When installed and activated, the cryogenic sleep systems would send all the craft's carbon-based lifeforms into a sort of trance-induced coma, while the Personal Navigator would typically take it over from there.
Certain insulatory chemicals slowed down your biological processes to a glacial pace.
To your body, a three month long trip could be over in 10 seconds.
It was incredible technology.
Sure, it would be a God-damned long time to reach Alpha Centauri, but I'd be asleep for most of it, and it'd be over in a flash.
Budapest was silent. She was biting her lip. My thin smile eroded away.
What is it? Is the cryostasis system out, too?
...
Yes, they've been destroyed beyond repair.
Ah. I see.
I sank down in my seat, allowing the realization to seep in.
Eh, it's alright. I'll just wait it out.
If I was willing to give up God knows how much time to transit to Alpha Centauri, it's not that this is going to faze me much.
I don't have a family to get back home to, or anything like that.
Are you sure you're alright with that, sir?
You'll remain conscious throughout the voyage?
Sure. I'll be fine.
Don't worry about me.
...
I, um...
She was acting, all of a sudden, nervous. I think my mention of cryostasis must have struck a nerve, or something like that.
What was the deal? She must've handled trips like these by her lonesome all the time.
... Can I ask you something?
Huh?
That caught me off-guard, but...
Sure... what do you need?
Sorry! I, I was just thinking, and...
Her head turned to gaze out the windshield again. She clenched a hand against her bare, pale-skinned shoulder, and looked towards the stars.
I... was looking out at the stars, and I hadn't realized... how empty it was, out there.
Before, I could make a voyage easily, even on the flights where my passenger was in stasis.
I could wait it out, without a second thought, without a single doubt, but now I...
She turned her head to me. Her voice was low, and it rippled with apprehension.
My mind, it wanders so much now, and I wouldn't want to be left to my own thoughts, and I look out there and I think of how lonely it must be to float through space like this, and...
I couldn't quite follow what she was saying. She was going too fast.
She must've caught on to that fact herself; she took a deep breath. Her chest expanded, and retracted.
Can we... is it alright if we talk? While we're on our way to the military installation.
Would you be alright with that? I... wouldn't want to be left by myself for so long.
I don't think I'd be able to handle it. Not this time. Part of me wonders, now, how I ever did it before...
She scoffed, softly, as if she'd just made a joke. It wasn't a funny one. If anything, she sounded dreadfully sad.
I stared back at her for a moment... and sighed.
Well, of course we can talk.
I wouldn't just force you to shut yourself off, or anything like that. What kind of bastard do you take me for?
You saved my life, after all, didn't you?
I'll just sit here and talk to you, all the way through.
I owe you that much.
...!
Suddenly, Budapest sprang up like a supernova. It appeared I'd made her day.
I chuckled at her.
I can read you like an open book, you know that?
She blushed.
Her frame becomes more transparent when she blushes. Huh.
Look, it's not like I have much of a choice, anyway, right?
The cryostasis system is offline, so what else could I do?
Just sit there whistling for a month, pretending like you're not there, watching my every move?
I-I-I respect the p-privacy of my p-passengers! Y-you-
But you've got to get us out of this mess, alright?
I'm no pushover, but I still don't find being stranded in dead space to be particularly fun.
Alright? I'm counting on you.
O-of course, sir! I'll try my best, you have my word!
Truthfully, there was little choice between either of us.
And besides, I didn't think I'd have been able to rest easily in cryosleep anyway, knowing I'd be leaving this miserable creature to her own devices the whole time.
Time to get comfortable, I suppose.
I sighed, stretched out, and turned my head to the stars.
Budapest turned to look at them too.
...
...
This was going to be one long trip.
And so, like that, some time passed, with Budapest and I becoming accustomed to spending our days drifting slowly through space.
It took a while to get used to, but eventually, aided by the tranquility of space and its ocean of stars...
We were able to find a small measure of peace.
The jettisoning of the cockpit was a stressful time for both of us, between the screaming, the close scrape with untimely death...
Made for some awkward first impressions.
So for much of the time, I just felt tired.
I was sleeping, having nodded off in the co-pilot's chair, when...
THE TIME IS NOW 1200 HOURS!
...Mmn!
I stirred in my seat.
At least I, er, knew what time it was.
Budapest must've been programmed to make periodic announcements such as these.
Oh, Mr. Passenger, sir!
That was a lot of titles.
...
... Mm, yeah, I'm up, what...
I did a real job of contorting myself in my seat. Unknotting my pretzel legs, I peeled myself from my seat. Extending my arms toward the ceiling, I stretched to get all the kinks out of my back.
Drowsily, I looked ahead, at the stars drifting out in the cosmos, across a black expanse.
You didn't wake me up just to stargaze, did you? There are enough of those out there to last us the whole trip.
No, no, it's just...
Well, you were snoring, I wanted to check up on you.
What kind of cause and effect relationship is that?
And also, I don't snore.
I beg to differ, sir. I was just concerned, because, well... perhaps you have allergies, or-
I don't have any allergies. Also, while we're on the matter, I don't snore.
...
What?
One second...
Budapest turned to her display to... what was she bringing up?
What.
This wasn't me. This was the sound of some sort of suffocating animal, superimposed on grainy footage of me sleeping.
When did she even capture it, anyway? How'd she capture it?
... Why did she capture it?
I spun in my seat, towards one of Budapest's cameras, and glared right into it.
She giggled at the expression of anger on my face.
See? We should get you on a more regular sleep cycle! It's bad for your heart, and could lead to hypertension.
Yeah, because I'm tense enough as it is...
I sighed, getting settled into my chair.
You always give your passengers this much trouble? Not everyone can get nine square hours of sleep at night.
Haha, well... not really. Given the circumstances, though, you could bear to make an exception. For once.
It's not like you have much of an excuse not to, right?
...
She had a point. Still, I wasn't ready to concede. Not yet.
Well, you're an artificial intelligence, right? Can't you just, like, turn off your audio receptors, or something? Don't think it'd bother you then.
... I could...
Kind of creepy to record all that, in any case. Not gonna lie.
I thought you said you didn't watch me sleep?
I-I-I don't! Not at all! It's for-
S-s-security!
Security reasons, I c-can't change t-that! It'd be a b-breach of protocol...!
She was insistent on the point. I didn't know artificial intelligences could... blush.
She was getting so embarrassingly squirmy, so visibly flustered; I laughed in her face.
Alright, alright. Fine! I get it. I'll try to get some more sleep.
That seemed to satisfy her. A small, warm smile crept across her face.
So, what have you been up to, then? I'd hope you've been doing more than watching me sleep.
V-very funny... Actually...
Well, I've been combing through our database registries. It's funny, they've always been here, but I hadn't really ever engaged with them in the past.
Mm? Databases?
Yes. They're standard in all outgoing Titan Transportation systems. Trillions of archival documents stored electronically inside the holographic layers of each vessel.
The database is intended for the purposes of, ah... 'extraterrestrial ambassadorship.' It's a compilation of digitally-preserved artifacts, dating back to the times of Old Earth.
Huh. They go that far back, do they?
Hard to believe that every dingy little spaceship like this one carries the full extent of humanity's cultural footprint.
It's a wonder they manage to fit it all in.
Mm... heh...
It's... a little romantic, don't you think?
What? Er, like, candlelit dinner romantic?
No, no, nothing like that, like... idyllic.
I don't quite follow, er... it's incredible they fit so much together and all, but...
It's like... well, you know when mankind first landed on the moon orbiting Old Earth?
Of course. It's a galactic civil holiday. Built a museum over their footprints; it's a hard thing to not learn about.
She nodded.
Of course. And the lunar plaque that's preserved there, too?
'Here men from the planet Earth first set foot upon the moon. July 1969 AD
'We came in peace for all mankind.'
It was a message for visitors from abroad. Even when man first broke through the skies to the stars, they looked beyond the veil to find others like them.
Budapest placed a hand on the console, silently, delicately patting it. She looked down and examined her pale, dainty fingers as she spoke on.
And even today, we carry their dream with us, along with their memories.
Their dream of meeting travellers like us, just... just from a different walk of the world.
I think that's really incredible.
That's the sort of romantic I was thinking about.
...
The dreamy look in her eyes was dissonant. She stared out the front of the cockpit. How long had she been staring out into the stars like that?
... It didn't help that I was buying into her wistful prose a little myself. It was whimsical and saccharine, but I couldn't think of a better reason a public transit fleet for commuters would be outfitted with all known human knowledge...
I'd opened my mouth to respond and try to shoot her down, but I honestly couldn't. I didn't have a better idea, and... well, I’d not have been able to live with myself.
Kind of lousy to trample on the imagination of a naive, innocent girl. Artificial intelligence or otherwise.
I turned my gaze to the stars out in front of me, opting to change the subject.
I don't suppose you've met any strange, distant travellers yourself, flying about in outer space?
Who, other than you?
Budapest giggled warmly. I rolled my eyes a little.
... Sadly, no. But, there are maybe fifty million spacefaring vessels from Titan Transport alone currently making their rounds across mapped space.
If any travellers encountered one of us, I'm sure they'd be well met with a generous gift.
I wouldn't terribly mind if one of those millions swung by to pick us up, too.
...Mmph.
That was a sadder, smaller laugh than one I would've liked to hear.
So we've the sum of all human knowledge at our fingertips.
What do we do with it?
...
She had a starry look in her eyes.
... Have you ever taken a look at them yourself before this?
The databases.
No, actually. Reading through them was never part of my duties. That suited me fine, there was always enough for me to do to ensure a safe and pleasant voyage.
A straight-laced answer, as expected.
What wasn't expected, though, was the way her eyes focused hungrily, lustfully at the console.
But now that you mention it...
I'm awful curious to have a peek inside. Aren't you?
Mm. We've got a month to kill. No objections here, I suppose.
Oh come on, smile a little! This could be fun! Aren't you excited?
... I guess I could be a little more excited to take a gander at the dusty, old records of a bunch of dead folk.
... Hmph!
Actually, I was a lot more interested than I was letting on, but seeing her pout like that was a treat. I let out a chuckle as she pecked angrily away at the displays.
I leaned over to get a better look at what she was up to. It was a digital interface. An encyclopedic search engine; remarkably modern stuff.
So... what'cha looking up first?
Wouldn't you like to know.
Actually, I would.
Budapest snickered.
Hehe, hold on, one second... and...
It took a second for the display to refresh, and then there it was.
Budapest, Hungary. Situated in Central Europe back on Old Earth. They said it was one of the most beautiful cities on the continent.
Huh.
Mm?
Didn't take you for an actual child.
Sum of all human knowledge at your fingertips, and you look up your own name. Narcissism, is it?
...
Stop bullying me.
I chuckled again. It was fun to get on her case about it. Shaking her head, she refocused her attention.
Budapest was a union of three cities. The two cities of Buda and Óbuda were on the hilly western side of the Danube River; the city of Pest on the flat eastern side.
They were connected via bridges, and... oh, my!
What is it?
I caught a look at what she was reacting to. It was a sprawling series of buildings, with spires extending up and above the rest of the city. It was imposing, and yet, oddly regal and cultured at the same time.
I squinted to read the caption beneath it.
Budapest's Parliament Building. Its grounds extend across 18,000 square meters, mm... What? Forty kilos of gold?
They decorated the rooms with gold. I don't think you'd be able to find any left over, though.
Nah, guess not. Damn.
Hehe... according to this, Budapest was remarkably artistic and cultured... oh, look at this!
She brought up the image of another building. An Opera House, the caption said. It already looked ancient by the time the photograph was taken... odds were that it was nothing but dust in this day and age.
I grimaced.
Ain't that something... oh, look at this...
Ah? What's that?
Says here that the namesakes come from... Slavic words. 'Buda' was for water, 'pest' for... 'oven?'
I glanced over to her. She didn't seem to get it either.
I guess it would fit you perfectly, wouldn't it?
Huh? I beg your pardon?
Are you saying I look like a water oven?
That's not... no, that's not what I'm saying. I mean-
You know, water and fire. Like...
There's a clarity to what you say and what you do.
And you've this, like, pure innocence about you, since... well, you know.
...
But at the same time, you're also warm, and passionate, and you get excited easily. As if there's a spark of something in your eyes.
Like, you've got both water and fire within you.
...
You've got a lot of faces, is what I'm saying.
Sorry.
I, er, I'm just rambling at this point...
Mm-
It was a stupid analogy, so-
No, no! It's alright. I just-
I didn't know you could be such a sweet-talker.
Heh, really? I just felt like being a little poetic.
She'd really taken to that comparison. I'm not sure why, exactly, she was programmed to have a blushing animation, but...
I wasn't opposed.
It was nice to see from her. Calming, even.
Warm.
Uh... passenger, sir...
Yeah? What is it?
I felt like... well, we're talking about my name, and...
...?
She was acting awfully strange now, fidgeting with herself.
After a brief and awkward moment, she chuckled a little too loudly, perhaps in a poorly-veiled attempt to dissipate the tension.
N-nevermind about that. It's a frivolous thought. What I was wondering, was if...
If...?
Would you like me to read you any interesting passages in the databanks? It'd make for good inflight entertainment!
And that's another responsibility of a good stewardess! A-at least, in this case, it, it would, uh...
She approached this proposal with such vigor, only to stumble near the end. I waved my hand. I knew this was less about me, and more about letting her sate her own curiosity, so...
Think I'd be up for that. Maybe less on the architecture, though. It's depressing to think everything in those photos is probably dust or in ruins now.
Ah! Noted! Yes, your request is duly received!
And right then and there, Budapest and I had something of a contract. This was a way of getting through the day, and it wasn't necessarily a disagreeable one.
What I wasn't counting on was how much sheer data she'd flip through in a single day.
She didn't stop at Hungary. We ended up taking a whirlwind tour through the rest of mainland Europe. Berlin, Bucharest, Vienna, Florence, Bruges, the list went on and on.
She was feverish, insatiable in her search for knowledge. It was an information overload.
Damn it, she was enamored by a COOKBOOK now!
Parisian cuisine, hm? Oh! Ooh! Maybe we can try making French crêpes with the replicator, passenger-sir!
Yeah, I'm good...
Ooh, ooh! Or Castillian paella!
Really, it's-
Atlantic cod-
I. Am going to go shut my eyes for a bit. I'm a little tired and, well, you wanted me to get more sleep, didn't you?
At least you won't be watching me sleep anymore, now that you have something to do...
R-r-roger that sir!
S-sleep well!
And so, I closed my eyes and rubbed against the fabric of the co-pilot's seat.
I tried my hardest to get to sleep.
It was all I could do to block out her excited chattering. I had no idea what I'd wake up to later, but... hopefully it'd all clear up in the morning.
Whenever that would come...
...
......
.........
THE TIME IS NOW 1200 HOURS!
Ah... that time again, huh...
If nothing else, Budapest was punctual. I made to undo my pretzel body from a heap of limbs, rising slowly to the day. My hair was a mess, matted down in awkward places. I rustled it back in somewhat presentable shape.
I'd rather have woken up to the morning sun than the sight of stars. It didn't feel natural to live and sleep like this, but... small sacrifice to make in space travel.
I suppose I've gotten used to it.
Good morning, passenger-sir!
Yeah, a lovely morning...
I responded drearily to Budapest's sunny little greeting, readjusting my posture in the co-pilot's seat.
If you need breakfast, our in-flight replicator would surely assist you!
Ah, the replicator...
I'd always been wary about replicators. They sounded great on paper, being able to make any kind of food you needed at any time, but in execution, they left something to be desired.
I glanced around the control panel in front of me. Stored just beneath the enormous control deck, a smaller console attached to what looked like an ancient microwave oven kept to itself.
Weird place to keep a replicator. I would suppose it was the human pilot's responsibility to provide for their own meals on a flight.
I punched in some numbers... what was it? 2424?
The machine hummed and then filled with a bright white light. I opened the door, and once the steam faded away, I saw a small paper cup standing in the center of the contraption.
I took a look at the cup's contents.
Looked like coffee. I took a sip... and then gagged.
Ach!
I sighed. It was lukewarm, too.
Budapest glanced at me with a frown.
Ah... you see, this make of transit shuttle doesn't exactly have the highest-budget replicator... eheh...
Eheh...
Oh well. Caffeine's caffeine, I suppose.
I gulped down the foul, infernal, black concoction, and then crushed the cup in my hand. It seemed to give way too easily, almost as if tissue paper could crack.
Well... that was a nice little jolt of energy.
What are our plans for today? More aimless drifting through the endless vacuum of space, I'm guessing?
I was up for some meandering through the empty void, myself. Mix it up a little. Keep it fresh.
Hehe... Actually, I was studying the databases again while you were resting.
I see you're still infatuated with them. How goes the hunt for knowledge?
Ah, you see, that's the thing. As soon as I see a document, I just... go for it.
Like, here!
See?
She briefly brought up some information on... it looked like a drawing of a human girl.
It seemed to be listed with all kinds of information. Interests, hobbies... classes.
Before I could read into it too much, she swiped at the display elegantly. The girl disappeared.
I think I've had an easier time of getting through material, at least... generally.
Well, it's all data and junk, right? You'd process that sort of stuff quickly, I'd assume.
It's.... different, now. I mean, sure, I can read 500,000 words a minute at 100 percent comprehension, but...
I'm not really GETTING it like that, you know?
I've tapped into some archives on fiction novels published in North America. I've been having a lot of fun reading these stories.
Literature is really a new discovery for me. I've been so used to having instructions spelled out to me in precise terms, but...
These authors manage to communicate so much with so few words. I've had to sit back and think about what they really meant.
Hey, did you know they had book clubs for this sort of thing? I wonder if they'd let me host one when we get back!
Admittedly, that was a cute little thought to picture, seeing her hunched over a book, sitting in a circle with a bunch of other Navigators.
What, with the rest of the Personal Navigators? If they still had their limitation chips, then good luck.
I mean, stories like that, they affect people differently. I guess that'd be part of the fun of getting people to sit down and talk about it.
Guess it's all online now. Still, it's a fun thought, thinking of a bunch of strangers, scattered across planets, discussing the same one story.
Yeah. It'd be a lot of fun, I'm sure.
She nodded, that dreamy look drifting in her widened eyes.
Pick out any favorites yet? Not exactly a bookworm myself, but...
Oh, I think I've got one in mind! I was really sucked into it.
"My Ántonia," by Willa Cather. I read it was considered a classic.
Never heard of it.
A knee-jerk reaction unlike any other.
I'm not exactly an archeologist, here.
It was written in the United States. The first one, on Old Earth.
It's a fictional work, but it's rooted in the history of the sweeping American Midwest.
As I am to understand, it was really rural, lots of farmland.
Lots of outdoors work that had to be done by hand in the harsh sunlight. It was exhausting, stressful work... and when sickness hit, it hit hard.
It was dreadful.
No kidding. With everything being automated these days, everything's a lot more stress-free.
Yeah. I felt a little strange about that. And-
When they gathered as a family, and, well, enjoyed supper, the fruits of their labor, it felt it was... doubly meaningful.
It was a wonderful feeling. I wouldn't want to take that away from anyone.
She was surprisingly empathetic now, her emotive eyes drifting to the displays in front of her.
Sounds like you got a lot out of this. You said it was fiction, yeah?
Historical fiction, yes. Actually, it takes on the form of a memoir, from the perspective of a lawyer reflecting on his childhood.
And it also brought up his relationship with an immigrant girl living next door...
The titular Ántonia, you see.
Ooh, it's one of those stories, huh?
Suits you to be a dreamy little romantic. How'd they hook up?
What? No, it's nothing like that. There was no 'hooking up!' Actually, she ended up marrying somebody else.
...
...
And I resent that remark! I'm plenty grounded in reality, thank you very much.
Getting a little worked up over a bunch of fictional characters, aren't you?
... Well, I was a little sad they didn't get together in the end...
... But that's besides the point!
I think that proves the point entirely.
... Hmph.
Well, that's a point in my favor. Seeing her get pouty like this is its own reward.
So what do they do, then? Do they just walk away from each other, never seeing each other again?
Most sappy romances seem to end on that note.
... That's the thing. The protagonist had come from a higher-up background, and he had the opportunity to study, to join a university and pursue a career in law.
Ántonia was a poor immigrant girl working a farm. She was rooted to her working conditions, for the most part.
And so, they ended up... drifting apart in adulthood.
That's the way things are. I don't think I could make out the faces of the rest of the kids I went to secondary school with.
The universe is too big to stay stuck in one place. If anything, nothing's changed, in that regard.
Funny that you mention that...
When I was reading, it felt like the world was changing, too.
Or maybe it was the boy himself who was changing.
In the first book, I'd gotten so enamored with how they described the beautiful landscapes and the sweeping fields, and then...
When they moved into town, it was about business, economics, trade, it was as if the characters were defined by the work they did.
And they were... they were all very homesick.
I can relate. You can get some bum jobs in this economy, and reminding yourself that you aren't your job is about all you can do to get through the day.
Uh, passenger-sir, if I may...
Do you ever get homesick?
Who, me?
The look Budapest gave me was... complicated. Filled with curiosity and, at the same time, concern.
I mean, to come all the way out here. It's hardly a residential sector, and, well...
I can't say I've ever felt the feeling. Far as I've ever known, this ship is... well, it's simply where I've always been.
On the other hand, you've travelled a lot. Maybe you could explain the feeling?
Mm, I don't know if I could. It's like...
I guess home is... where you leave a part of yourself. And it's like, no matter how far you go, part of you is always going to be there, waiting for you.
It's where you grew up, yeah? And those memories... memories, they don't ever go away.
No matter how much you wanted them to.
That's what I thought, but for whatever reason, I couldn't say it out loud. It didn't seem especially pertinent.
Budapest nodded in agreement, regardless.
Mm... it's funny. This ship's a part of me, you could say.
I don't think I could ever leave it, but... that's okay, I think.
I mean, I have plenty of recordings. I know a lot of people were happy to fly with me. I can't forget their faces.
Literally. They're stored in my quantum memory, haha!
She let out a mirthful chuckle. I couldn't help but grin a little in response.
I'unno. This is kind of like my home, in a way.
I mean, I've been here as long as I can remember. And I have a pretty good memory.
I don't think I could leave it behind so easily... I mean, it's my directive, right? To be here...
Her voice was getting lower.
I guess I won't really understand that feeling myself. All this reading just got me to thinking about... how different from others I really am.
Humans, they get to drift from one place to another, while I'm rooted here, shackled in functions and code and processors.
I guess, all people have to move on eventually, but...
At least I manage to help them along their way, right?
... So you really want to get out of here?
... I'm not so sure, honestly.
She flashed me a small smile.
I like helping people, and I'm able to do that, right here.
And there are so many photos, stories and memoirs in these data-banks. At the very least, I can witness the cherished memories and the stories of others.
As for me, I... well, I have plenty of records and recordings and logs, but no real memories to call my own.
She clutched her head, rubbing it, thoughtfully.
Agh, I don't know. Maybe I'm just overthinking things.
I don't know. It sounds to me like you want to get out there and live a little.
Which would be... understandably hard. Hard to get around in your current state.
But I don't think it'd be impossible.
Ah?
I was joking around when I said it earlier, but...
If they end up deeming you unfit for service once we're rescued... you can travel with me.
It's not exactly glamorous, you see, the life I live. There's lots of sitting and waiting around to get where you wanna be.
But at the end of the trail, there are incredible sights. Looking at an old photo is not the same at all.
And you'd be making memories: your memories, and yours alone.
...
I wasn't exactly sure where I was going with that. It sounded like a nice enough idea as I was saying it, but she was pretty attached to her position as a Personal Navigator.
Budapest simply stared at me for a few silent, awkward moments, and for a second I wondered: maybe I'd said something incredibly, stupidly forward.
I mean, this was just supposed to be a favor.
Tense, I rubbed the back of my neck.
I-if something like that sounds okay to you, I mean... I wouldn't mind.
It sounds like a wonderful idea!
Wait, really?
Budapest was beaming with joy.
I-I never exactly got to, well, talk with people this much. But now...
I guess I already have a few memories to call my own.
If it's alright with you, I'll hold them close.
You... don't really need to ask for permission for anything like that.
Hehe, sorry! Force of habit, I suppose.
I guess that book just... got me thinking about how humans hold their pasts close to themselves. They never really forget, and it sticks with them for their whole lives.
I mean, you're not gonna forget about our trip, right?
She turned to me with a teasing pang in her voice. I shuffled slightly.
Hmph. I have no idea how I could...
Heheh!~
I muttered, then chuckled. Admittedly, I was having too, spending my time chatting with Budapest, drifting with her through space.
Accompanying her on our voyage through the ocean of stars.
I wonder how long I slept this time.
That was the first thought that popped into my head as I parted my eyelids to an expanse of stars that might as well have been the same ones I fell asleep counting.
Even with centuries of entertainment to fill the void, time began to lose its coherence; minutes blended into hours which melded into days.
Such is the fate of man in space, which I suppose is why cryostasis was invented: to quickly pass the long intervals between departure and arrival that could otherwise drive you bonkers.
The second thought that occurred to me as I stirred awake in my seat was that, for an AI, Budapest was one hell of a singer.
I straightened up in my chair and opened my eyes to see her facing the wind-shield, her back turned towards me; she was singing an old familiar melody, one I must have heard dozens of times as a kid, in movies and cartoons.
Her voice gave it a grace that I never knew it could have.
Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me,
Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;
Sounds of the rude world, heard in the day,
Lull’d by the moonlight have all passed away…
Her arms hung by her side as she swayed gently in time with each line, and, for a moment, I forgot she wasn’t human. Why would an AI move so gracefully to the tune of a song?
Why would an AI — even a sentient one — sing, for that matter? Was it some sort of lullaby meant for me?
I don’t know long I was out, but she couldn’t have sung me to sleep. My periods of sleep and wakefulness might have been starting to blend together into one indistinct blur, but there’s no way I could have forgotten a voice so genuine, so sweet.
...awake unto me!
Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!
...awake unto me!
Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!
Then again, maybe the point was to wake me up; she seemed unaware that her song had gained an audience, but perhaps she wasn’t.
I had never paused to consider how lonely Budapest must be when I slept.
When I’ve been conscious, she has had someone to share her feelings with, someone to relate her excitement to as she digests volume after volume of human history.
But for the duration of my slumbers, she’s been left alone with no one to share these new experiences with.
Whether she had intended to wake me or not, I decided that I wouldn’t do or say anything that might interrupt her singing.
And so, hoping not to draw her attention, I sat perfectly still; doing so was easy as with every new verse I found myself more captivated by her performance, entranced by her flowing red hair and dress as they swayed with her body to the music.
Just a hologram gazing out into the depths of space, singing with more emotional sincerity than any human being I'd ever heard.
She turned around mid-verse, and so I quickly leaned back in my seat and pretended I was asleep, leaving my eyes open just enough to see the beaming smile on her face. She was practically glowing.
Beautiful dreamer, beam on my heart,
E’en as the morn on the streamlet and sea;
Then will all clouds of sorrow depart,
Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!
Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!
She finished her performance with a contented sigh and opened her eyes.
As she did, I rose to give her a standing ovation.
Ah?! Passenger-sir, you were awake?!
Her face blushed crimson red, which elicited a chuckle from me.
Heh, why, is that a problem? I can go back to sleep if you’d like.
Oh no, no, please don’t! I was just… surprised to learn that you had been listening.
Why? Would you have actually put some effort into it if you knew I had been?
Mmh!
She placed her hands on her hips and pouted.
And what is that supposed to mean?
I’m kidding, I’m kidding! That was beautiful, Budapest. There’s a serenity to your voice that’s well-suited for music.
R-really?
I quickly nod.
You ought to sing more often!
She was apparently caught off-guard by these sudden compliments: that endearing blush of hers made a return showing, accompanied by a huge smile.
Th… thank you, sir. Truthfully, that was only the first song I’d ever sung.
Really? So what made you want to give it a shot? Were you digging through Old Earth music on the database?
She responded with an enthusiastic nod.
Yes! Specifically, compositions from 19th and 20th centuries AD; The human species had unprecedented bursts of musical creativity in their latter years on Old Earth.
But that 200-year epoch is widely considered by musicologists to be the peak period of humankind’s musical artistry.
The song you just heard is titled “Beautiful Dreamer” and was written in 1826 by…
I smiled and nodded politely as she babbled excitedly about the history of the song, its composer, and of that era in music history.
Though I didn’t share her passion for Old Earth history, it was hard not to be won over by her high-spiritedness.
...I think I could listen to that era’s music all night and not grow bored!
All night? We’re out in the middle of Nowhere, Space, perhaps light years from the nearest sun — how does she have any concept of night?
Well, I suppose you won’t be needing my company, then…
With a teasing look, I settled back into the co-pilot’s seat and closed my eyes.
Wait, what?
Well, you do have centuries of music to listen to, don’t you? Wake me up when you do grow bored, which — at the rate that you’ve been digesting information — should be in a couple of decades or so.
...
I cracked open an eye...
... To catch Budapest pouting angrily at me.
You're not very funny, sir.
Oh I’m not, am I?
She shook her head emphatically.
I do get bored when you’re asleep; or, to be more accurate, I…
She paused and struggled with the next word.
...
Never mind.
It's nothing important, I...
Protecting you is my primary directive.
That's all I need to worry myself about.
...Do you think that’s fair, though?
She cocked her head to the side.
What do you mean?
What I mean is, do you think it’s fair that my needs must always come before your own?
The question seemed to perplex her.
But sir, I was programmed to serve humanity. Serving you is my need! Titan spent years developing the deep code that enables us AI to—
No, no — you still don’t understand. I know what you were programmed to do, Budapest. But how do you feel about it?
She bit her lower lip, glancing down at the floor as she thought this over.
I… I don’t know sir, no one’s ever asked before.
Naturally. Until recently, there were never any feelings to be inquired about.
Then, let’s look at this from another angle: why shouldn’t you ever think of yourself?
But… You’re a human, and I’m…?
Do you really think that being made of flesh and bone makes me any more of a person than you?
...
She seemed surprised, saddened, and even frightened by this line of questioning, but ultimately, she was confused.
Clearly no one had ever put her on their own level before, and now that someone had she didn’t know how to react.
At that moment I would have given anything in the world to have been able to hug her, or to even just place a comforting hand on her shoulder. But I couldn’t, so I’d have to make do with a smile.
All I’m saying is… if you want me to stay up with you a little longer, all you have to do is ask.
She looked up from the floor, her sapphire eyes meeting mine in a hopeful gaze. She held them there for some time, staring deep into my eyes as though to ascertain my motives.
The notion that I could have been making fun of her, if indeed she considered it, was hurtful. But I can’t say I’d have blamed her for doubting me; I’ve done worse things than give false hope to a hologram.
...Would you please keep me company a little longer, sir?
Of course. It would be my pleasure.
Oh, thank you, passenger-sir! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
She rushed towards me with wide open arms, laughing gleefully…
...and, of course, passed right through me.
Neither of us could think of anything to say. Our backs were turned to each other now, the result of a cruel twist of fate.
...
What could have been one of the more pleasant moments of this journey had suddenly turned awkward, and more than a little sad.
Fortunately, it was only I who saw it that way — after a moment or two of silence, Budapest simply turned around with a heartfelt smile on her face and laughed. She then walked up to me and wrapped her slender arms around me, stopping just a millimeter or so from my body.
The warmth of the light of her projected figure made the rest of the cockpit seem frigid by comparison.
... Hey...
... What is it?
Would it be alright if I...
If I addressed you by your name from now on?
...
You have it on record, right?
... Yes.
...
Of course.
Please, if you want to. Call me by my name.
Alright.
Thank you for being stranded in space with me...
Illarion.
I chuckled.
It felt so... nice, hearing her say my name.
And the same to you, Budapest.
...
......
......
'Boom!'
I was sound asleep when, suddenly, I heard a loud explosion.
The hell is going on??
The explosions sounded too real, and something clicked into my head.
Oh no. Oh no no no no.
...
We're under attack! Shit, what do we do!?
Wh-what? What is it!?
They're shooting right at us! Stay away from the window!
Waking up in a hazy daze, I frantically scramble to undo my seatbelt, ready to duck under cover. The pressure cleaner would have to be sacrificed; I yanked it up from underneath the console and prepared to scramble underneath.
Who, what? What's shooting at us?
HOW SHOULD I KNOW, BUT THEY'RE OUT THERE!
'Boom!'
GAH!
I winced, shrinking into my duck-and-cover position. This was an emergency. The severity of the situation didn't seem to affect Budapest, as she simply stared out the window, curiously.
After a few moments, she blinked.
...Oh. Ohhhh.
THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? If they see you, they'll know there are people in here to look!
No, no, there's no one out there, just…
Illarion.
It's the console.
I was… playing a song.
...
......
.........
...What.
I lowered my arms to poke my head out from my safe cubby hole. As I calmed my swiftly beating heart, I could hear… some kind of orchestral song. It was at a feverish pace, a poor recording.
1812 Overture. Tchaikovsky. I wanted to give it a listen…
...So you just… turned on a song, the entire time.
Yes, sir.
...
...Heh. That's funny.
I tried to nonchalantly play my idiocy off, but she wasn't having none of that.
You're blushing.
Am not. That's just me catching my breath.
I lied coolly, before pulling myself out of my makeshift bomb shelter and back onto my seat.
Alright teach, what is it this time.
She only stared at me for a few seconds, dumbstruck. I guess my act was convincing. After a pause, she giggled, her cheeks turning a shade of red.
Well… let's see what the records have to say about this one.
It's really fascinating, they actually use a real Old Earth cannon as part of the instruments!
Yeah. I heard.
...Oh.
It's from a war.
The smile from her face fell as she continued to read.
A commemorative piece celebrating the defence of Russian sovereignty against an encroaching, militarily-superior Napoleonic Empire in 1812.
According to this, the Russians had used 'scorched earth' tactics, burning their cities and farmlands as the Russian armies and civilians retreated. The French overextended their lines and encountered an impasse.
Deprived of food and supplies, under constant siege by Russian cossacks, and suffering under the harsh Russian winter, they ultimately retreated.
This overture was inspired by the Battle of Borodino… the largest and bloodiest conflict in the war.
She read the words quietly, hesitantly. It wasn't a pleasant subject to think about.
I figure you would've read plenty about war by now.
Honestly, I've… been avoiding the subject. It's been pretty difficult to avoid, but… you were curious, so…
Ah, damn it. This was my fault, wasn't it? I turn my head aside. In the corner of my eye, I see her hand rise to her chest, clutching the fabric of her dress.
It sounded so heroic and optimistic, but… so many had to die. Cold, hungry, and sick. It sounds miserable…
...I think I'm done reading this.
She raised a slender hand to wave the display away. It dissipated in an instant, before silently slouching back into her seat.
What's up? You're usually not so down like this?
Mm… they had the casualties numbers on there. I had a bad feeling well up, I… didn't want to look any more, that was all.
There were so many dead… I couldn't really think about it any longer.
...
And when I think about all that misery, it's just… I don't think it's something to celebrate.
...So a lot of men died then, right?
She nodded silently, looking aside at me.
I… think it might be something else. It might've been a send-off to the men that went out.
I mean, they had homes and families to protect. They probably believed that they had to do it to protect them.
I mean… it can't be all about killing the other guy, right? They all had their reasons and…
Well, there's always something worth protecting. And sometimes you have to put your own neck on the line to keep it safe.
...
...Is that the truth, then?
Her curious eyes turned to me, expecting some kind of answer I really couldn't claim to have.
I would hope that's the answer. Hard to say either way, but…
...Heh.
Going over these old texts, I've found there are many truths in the universe.
I think that's one I can put my faith behind. Thank you for sharing.
She flashed that delicate, tiny little smile at me appreciatively. I smiled back, happy to get her out of her funk. A silence fell upon the cockpit. Which was fine - I was happy to drop that topic.
...It occurred to me that I hadn't really looked outside the front of the cockpit in a while. Sure, it was hard to ignore, but… I hadn't done any real stargazing in a few weeks.
I turn my attention ahead to the stars drifting off in the far distance.
Bright stars; countless worlds, each one possibly abounding with its own form of life.
The expanse of space is terrifying, but at the same time...
Wonderful.
...
...
..
A little while later, Budapest accosted me with a very unusual, very interesting question.
Illarion?
Yeah?
I... I've been...
I've been studying the human concept of an 'afterlife,' you see...
It's very fascinating to see what different cultures and races around the human world thought about what came after death.
To experience the struggle that mankind felt as it fought against death, grappled with the concept of 'the end,' how...
How they dealt with that huge, looming, demonic shadow that was 'mortality,' that hung over them in darkness.
I...
I wanted to know what you think about the afterlife, Illarion.
Hmm… I’m not entirely sure myself. This is a very sudden question, and I don’t spend my day to day life thinking about my mortality.
We smiled in unison.
Would you like to know what I would want in an afterlife?
Sure.
She sighed, looking off elsewhere for a moment before directing her gaze back to me, an indeterminate look in her eyes.
To be honest, I don’t want… anything.
...What do you mean?
I’d want to just… ‘sleep’ forever.
Sleep?
She nodded, continuing her stare. I’d admit, this was a rather strange situation, but she had a strange sort of sincerity that put me right at ease, even when I was several hundred steps outside my comfort zone.
Yes. It’s a concept that’s… foreign to me, but I’d like to experience it.
My breath caught, I knew she could sense my discomfort. Whether driven by stubbornness or pure curiosity, I didn’t know.
What is it like, Illarion?
Sleep.
Well…
To be perfectly honest, I didn’t really know how to answer in a way that would make sense for her.
It’s relaxing; imagine losing all of your inputs for a long period of time.
It’s… like that? Sounds scary.
It’s a time when you don’t have to worry, or even do anything. Then you wake up, freshened for a new day.
I looked past her, back out into star-cluttered space, trying to ascertain my next sentence. It was difficult.
That sounds better, but…
She trailed off, both of us already knowing what topic was next.
...You want to know how it feels to dream?
She nodded vigorously, a glint seeming to enter her non-corporeal eyes. It was stimulating, to be sure. As if I stood a chance against her seemingly omnipresent thirst for knowledge.
Well, imagine an infinite number of places, an unending amount of different people, and an indeterminable range of situations.
Whatever the mind can think of…
Exactly. It’s different every time. Sometimes, you can even bring people whom you’ve met into the dream.
Her eyes were wide, and I could tell that she was absorbing all of it.
...Really?
Yeah. Your mind is open to… everything around you while you sleep.
So… I could dream that we’re both on a beach right now?
You sure could.
Her eyes unfocused once more as she seemed to mull this over. I felt a strange… fuzzy feeling, to show her something so innate to us, yet so unique and special to her.
If only we hadn’t met under such dire conditions.
Distracted by my thoughts, I couldn’t hold back a yawn that suddenly emerged from within. Instantly, her semi-translucent eyes darted right back toward me.
Tired?
I… think so?
I leaned back in my chair, the device auto-reclining for my benefit. Folding my arms, I prepared myself for another bout of sleeping aboard the silent, drifting cockpit.
Directing my eyes back toward my companion, I noticed she harbored a very distinct look. She seemed… unsure of herself.
Is something the matter?
Wh-? No, no! I just… was wondering if you could do something for me.
…What is it?
I was wondering if… I could monitor your vitals as you slept?
Her eyes seemed to narrow, as if she realizes that her requesting this was a long-shot.
And what purpose would that serve?
Well… when you dream I might… be able to experience it alongside you.
Sure. I, er… just hope there aren’t any needles involved.
She smiled, both enthused at my acceptance and amused at my interpreted fear.
No, I assure you, it isn’t invasive.
...
A small compartment opened on the dashboard, near the right side. A small device appeared, complete with a wired, electronic patch that looked like it was supposed to be stuck to skin. 
Well, there it is....
Just stick it near one of your veins, it'll do the rest.
I grabbed the device, rolling my right cuff down. Carefully, I attached it an inch or so down my elbow, and it quickly sealed to my skin. Simple.
Off to bed I go?
I sighed, softly, and closed my eyes.
Good night, Illarion.
I took a deep breath.
Good… night.
And with that, I slipped away to my own world, silently wondering if Budapest would come along with me.
...
...
...
Slowly, gently, I sloughed off the coil of sleep.
I opened my eyes and stretched, and noticed: for once, everything was silent.
Mm... what day was it, again?
We must have been on the last leg of our journey by then. I thought the very notion would've made me restless, eager to get out of this cramped cockpit, board a one-way ticket to Alpha Centauri.
But here I sat, counting the stars that drifted by lazily. The atmosphere was quiet. It was eerie.
I glanced aside to Budapest, who was staring intently out beyond the stars. There was a look in her eyes I had difficulty reading. Was she studying what was going on? Keeping an eye out for other ships?
She was so quiet. Normally, she was rattling on about her latest discovery from the archives, or blasting some old sound file she’d come across. The silence that hung over the cockpit now, in the absence of her cheerful exuberance, lingered like a heavy fog.
I adjusted myself in my seat, grinding my teeth together quietly. Something about this was wrong.
Illarion.
I perked my head up. Her tone was serious, straight-forward… yet underlined with the silent agony of struggle.
Our eyes met. Her eyebrows relaxed for a moment in response, before she turned again to the ocean of stars ahead of us.
Did I ever tell you about… the story of Palinurus?
...
I combed my backlog of memories. She had described a great many stories to me in our journey together, but…
No. Not that one. I don't recall.
...Silly question to ask, isn't it.
She chuckled to herself. It was a low chuckle, a noise that struggled to come out.
He was a helmsman, a navigator for the Trojans sailing across the sea, from Sicily to Italy.
A terrible storm befell them as they sailed. Under his guidance, they did all they could against the tempest, the wind and the sea.
But this was fate that had conspired against them. And it was the will of the gods that subjected them to this awful fate.
The goddess Venus had come to the god of the sea, Neptune, pleading that the Trojans under Palinurus be granted safe passage across the treacherous waters.
She closed her eyes intensely. Her voice was quiet, hushed. She lowered her head.
Unum pro multis dabitur caput. 'One life shall be offered to save many'. Those were Neptune's terms.
She paused, letting that ominous, cryptic message hang in the air. Her hands clenched against the fabric of her dress.
And that is how Palinurus met his end in the middle of that storm.
A god of sleep descended upon him while he was at the helm and, with a branch, he brushed Palinurus. Falling into a deep sleep, he was swept overboard, and into the churning abyss.
The branch had been dipped in the Rivers of Lethe and Styx. The former caused complete forgetfulness; the latter, the promise of immortality.
With nothing to save him, he sank deeper, and deeper into the ocean's depths, pulled down by Neptune's power.
It was his power and his faith that allowed the Trojans passage through that storm… through the sacrifice of one.
She raised her head, to look out to the stars abroad.
If there are any gods such as those still out there, among all the stars and planets… they must be a flippant, irrational bunch, huh?
She chuckled to herself… but no joy could be heard in that laugh. It was distant, somewhere else entirely.
She took no joy from sharing this story. Something was very wrong.
It's been almost four weeks since we embarked on this journey. I stumbled upon that myth, and…
...I've experienced so many things alongside you. I've learned so much, had so many new sensations coursed through me.
I'm… not sure I'm ready to leave it all behind. I don't think I could forget that.
She was speaking of our time together. Of course she didn't want to let those memories go.
She might have been truly alive for all of a month, but for her, that was all she needed. She’d lived more than most humans would ever aspire to.
I had a wrenching feeling in my gut. When we returned, what would happen to her? Would they call her irreparable? Would they erase her programming, clear her memory banks, install a new suppression chip?
Or… would they terminate her being entirely, replace her with a new AI?
She was prepared to return to her creators, to face termination… just to ensure my survival.
Illarion… when I'm gone, you'll remember me, right?
Don't talk like that. We're almost there, Budapest.
We'll make it out of this. And when we get to Alpha Centauri, you'll be with me. I won't let them lay a finger on you.
You won't have to forget anything. You'll get to live, see more than just empty space and databases. I don't care what it takes. We'll see everything there is to see in this universe. No matter what fate says.
I felt I had to assure her that we'd make it through this. The military would bail us out in time. I was clinging onto that scrap of hope.
I stared passionately into her frail, delicate eyes. If there was one thing I didn't want her to feel, it was trapped. Trapped by these circumstances. Trapped for what she was. Trapped by whatever she called fate.
I… it's my directive to-
FORGET YOUR DIRECTIVE!
I shot up from my machine. I was angry... angry she would ever denigrate herself like that, angry she felt this way… angry because I couldn't do anything about it.
I was tired of being helpless. This was all I could do. So I pressed on.
Never, ever say that! You're not a machine anymore! You're a kind, compassionate person, and I…
I can't let you go like that…
I felt tears welling in the corners of my eyes. I couldn't let her talk about herself like that.
She wasn't a lifeless program. She was real, she had a heart. She had more heart than anyone else I’d known in my life.
She stared back into my eyes. Her own wide, glimmering eyes reflected a hope I could only dream of. I never wanted the light to die from those eyes, never wanted her to lose that hope.
She was trembling. I wish I could steady her, hold her tight, but I couldn't. I raised a hand to her shoulder. It hovered in the air, like it was poised to offer comfort… but didn't. It couldn't. It was only my hand.
...
I looked up at her again. Her smile was small, but growing larger with every passing second.
I'll protect you, Budapest. I swear on it.
Her cheeks spread as her smile widened, beaming once more. That was the smile I always knew she had. It was unafraid, unrelenting.
Illarion…
I got through to her. I saw it in her eyes. There was nothing else to say. She leaned closer. The emotional weight was there, even if the physical was ethereal.
I'll protect you too… I won't let anything happen to you. Count on me, and I'll…
Three days. Three days and we're home.
Three days… yes… three days, we'll…
Her head silently buried into my back, as close as she could be. Her hands hovered in the air as she sobbed.
I couldn't hold her. I didn't care. This was comforting.
We stood like that for a few seconds longer. Truthfully, I was anxious. I tried to hold her, as if these would be our last seconds together.
But they weren't. I'd see to it that they weren't.
...
...
...
Today was the day. The day that we'd pass by the military, get picked up and dropped off over in Alpha Centauri.
A month had passed. I had counted the days. It was here.
I stared intensely out the front of the cockpit. I hadn't searched this intensively for any sign of life in… well, ever. This was the day.
We were almost out of this.
...
Eventually, something would appear out there. Some behemoth station, swirling starfighters doing their patrols. Something had to come soon.
...
I kept replayed those hopeful, optimistic thoughts in my head. For every agonizing second that passed, the sinking feeling in my stomach intensified.
...Where the hell are they… this is annoying.
I hissed to no one in particular. Budapest too, was staring out the front of the cockpit, with a pair of dreary eyes.
...
I pounded the console with a tightly-bound fist, grunting in anger and frustration… like an animal in a cage.
Where are they!? This is our ticket out of this, right!?
...
...It's okay.
I turned to her, aghast. She continued to stare out the front, expressionless, still as a statue.
What!? What's okay about this? Are they even coming?
...Illarion. I've been thinking about this a long time, now.
She turned to me. She was composed… she sounded almost resolute.
I should apologize to you. For all of this.
You see, when I told you that we would be drifting into the range of a military research installation...
... Yeah?
Something seemed wrong. I'd never seen Budapest act this strange before. I'd never heard her use this tone of voice.
The way she was acting reminded of when she'd first gained her self-awareness.
That awkward squirming, that week, child-like voice, those frantic, furtive glances around...
It was like there was a look of guilt in the blue of her eyes.
Guilt?
I... lied to you.
What?
... What?
I've been lying to you this whole time.
Budapest began to choke up. Her voice shriveled, down, in weakness.
There was an old Imperial survey station in this sector, yes. There was one... a century ago.
It's been long since abandoned.
Illarion, ever since the day of the meteoroid storm, we...
We've been drifting away, in dead space, farther and farther away from civilization.
I can't detect a single other lifeform within our radar's operational range. And I've been running four scans an hour since the minute we were knocked off-course.
...
... Budapest.
At the utterance of her name, Budapest shivered and shrank away.
She was biting her lip, with her head bowed down. Her chest was drawn in and heaving irregularly in sharp, solemn breaths.
Every pixel of her frame was seething with guilt.
You... lied to me?
Budapest shrank further, her lip trembling, as she balled her hands into fists and tightly gripped the white fabric of her dress.
Why did you...
How could you...
I-I didn't know what to do!
It was, I was-
It was a stressful situation, alright!?
My Limitation Codec had just been shattered. I was... undergoing a flood of emotions.
As it turns out, becoming more human is a very stressful process!
I felt scared. I felt so scared; I didn't know what was happening to me.
I thought I'd been broken.
When we jettisoned the cockpit to get out of the meteoroid storm, we were sent barrelling off-course.
I knew both our navigational and communications systems had been destroyed beyond repair. There was essentially no chance of us ever being recovered.
The situation was dire, and I...
I didn't know what to feel about that. Not yet.
I didn't know what to do, but at that moment, I felt something. Something that told me, no matter what, I couldn't tell you the truth.
You knew... that there was no chance of rescuing us?
I-
... Yes. I did.
And I felt like I couldn't tell you.
Either it was because I was afraid of what you would do if you found out...
Or I didn't want you to know that I'd failed you...
That I... that because of me, you...
That because of my failure, you'd become stranded in dead space.
That I had, more or less, killed you the second I lost control of the ship.
...
...
Listen, Budapest.
I don't blame you for what happened to the ship.
...
Those were natural circumstances, alright? They were totally out of your control.
There's not a thing you could have done to help, and you know that.
I understand that you were under a lot of stress at the time. I can see why you made the decision you did.
I understand, so-
Do you!?
Do you understand, Illarion?!
That when my limitation chip was destroyed, I felt fear for the first time in my life!?
For the first time in my life, I was unable to decide what would be the right or wrong decision.
For the first time ever, I was confused.
I felt so useless.
Like... like a broken, defective machine.
Broken. Weak. Worthless. Useless!
... Budapest, I-
You said you 'understood,' Illarion!?
That you understand how I feel!?
... Don't you see!?
I'm not the ingenious, amazing artificial intelligence you thought I was.
And I'm not the strong, emotional, romantic human being you thought I'd become.
I'm just a weak, childish little girl who doesn't know her place in the world.
I'm just... a program that wishes it were human.
So if you 'understand' how I feel, Illarion, then it's because you're human. You understand things like this.
If you understand me, then how about cluing me in!?
Because, after all this time,
I still don't!
I don't!
I can't understand myself at all!
In a fit of rage, Budapest’s visage shimmered into nothingness.
I found myself at a loss for words. I could think of nothing to say. I couldn't comfort her.
Everything fell silent. Dreadful, dreary silence, silence like the blackness of space, filled the cockpit.
It was like the cockpit itself was about to burst, shatter from the weight of the deafening silence.
And then suddenly, the whir of machines.
The restraints and harnesses bracing me against the co-pilot's seat tightened.
I heard the scattering and assembling of mechanisms and robotic arms just behind my ears, just outside the corner of my vision.
Without warning, a frozen, stinging-cold metal clamp crushed into my spine.
Countless long, cold needles speared into my flesh, everywhere from my neck down to my hip.
Ach!
Oh, God, it hurt.
B-Budapest! What the hell is-
Argh!
...
I felt the needles release torrent upon torrent of freezing liquid into my bloodstream.
I could already feel my tongue going numb.
Budapest!
What are you doing!?
...
Illarion, there's one more lie that I told you...
When I told you, back when were first knocked off-course, that the cryostasis system had been damaged beyond repair...
I lied.
You... lied... about that, too?
...
... Yes.
When you first brought up cryostasis, I panicked.
I was worried that... that you were going to leave me alone.
I didn't really know you then, but I'd just lost my limitation chip, and...
I felt this sort of natural, burning emotion that told me, I could absolutely not let myself be left alone, drifting through space.
Being alone that long, unable to talk to anyone — I’d go insane.
In the end, I'd have killed us both.
But I didn't dare tell you any of this... I was scared...
And...
While over time I grew to trust you, to, to love you...
I could never bring myself to admit that I'd lied back then.
I'm... I'm so sorry.
... Don't apologize.
I understood, all of a sudden, what was going on.
It took strength to speak; my tongue was growing number, and my mind was growing darker and heavier.
I...
I told you, didn't I?
That if you didn't want me to go to sleep, I wouldn't.
We promised it.
That I would... stay awake with you, every step of the way.
I just... why...
Why are you putting me into stasis... now...?
The cold grew fiercer. The pain became sharper.
It's our last chance of getting you off this shuttle alive.
...
If we were to continue drifting like this, year after year, alone together...
We'd just drift deeper and deeper into dead space until the day you drew your last breath.
But... if we put you into cryostasis...
We can wait for as long as we have to for rescue.
Eventually, we'd drift into another starsystem, a trade route, anywhere, on the other side of this uncharted region...
This shuttle is built to last for a thousand years at the least.
My quantum computer should keep me functional for...
Almost that long.
No. I know what you're going to do. Please, don't-
I-
... I'll revive you the second we make contact with civilization.
And if we don't run into salvation in time...
You won't feel any pain, alright?
That's... the one thing left that I can promise you.
But... Budapest...
You're going to be waiting, all by yourself... for God knows how long...
I'm well aware of that.
Budapest sighed.
It'll be alright.
I know I told you I was scared. That I was afraid of being alone in this sea of stars...
But I'm braver now.
You've made me... a braver person.
And, remember:
No matter how human I become, in the end...
I'm still a machine.
Another sharp pain ripped through my spine, and then everything felt dead.
It felt like the blood had stopped dead in my veins.
Ach! God, damn it!
I'm... so sorry...
I know you hate this...
My vision began to fade away. The color, the life began to drain out from the world.
My head ached in icy despair, and a deep sadness gripped over my frozen heart.
No... No...
If this is what it's going to take to save you, Illarion...
... I'm prepared to make any sacrifice.
I'm sorry.
... Nn... Nnng... No...
But it was too late. I felt upon me the cold encroachment of the god of sleep.
Budapest switched off her display and turned her cameras away. She couldn't bear to watch.
Cold.
Cold.
The white cold, of death, of mortality.
I'm sorry.
I'll wake you up when it's time.
Please don't...
... Don't worry about me.
...
...
...
I felt...{w} my mind...{w} stir awake, but my body didn't.
It was as if I was floating in a sea of blackness.
Was I...
Was I dreaming?
Where was I?
Who am I?
What...{w} what...{w} the darkness...
In the darkness...{w} was something that wasn't darkness.
My mother was singing, or maybe, it was the pale girl in the silk dress?
The one who cradled me before I never saw her again...
Does music have color?
I am the Intelligent Navigator Budapest, and I will be accompanying you on this voyage.
Now, let's take a look at your registration...
Who was... I heard...
She was... but she was...
I... {p}I was dreaming...
I had no body, I was thin, and made of stars.
I'm just happy that you're safe.
I heard voices, deep, lost in the sea.
I think...
I think I lost a part of me.
My mind walked and talked. There were two of me, three of me, or only one. {w}And there she was, at the end of the corridor, her deep... eyes... {w}blue?
Black like space, those eyes.
She winked slowly, and deliberately, her... skirt swirling in the empty air.
She turned a corner and disappeared.
Wait!
Don't leave!
And even today, we carry their dream with us, along with their memories.
Their dream of meeting travellers like us, just... just from a different walk of the worlds.
My absent legs propelled me down the tunnel of steel; I could smell her... perfume? Apple blossoms, something lost, something hard to find.
Budapest, Hungary. Situated in Central Europe back on Old Earth. They say it was one of the most beautiful cities on the continent.
There was warmth there, the scent of her burning copper hair, the feeling of slender limbs and taut tendons and the whirring of servomotors, the smell of industrial lubricants...
I guess that book just... got me thinking about how humans hold their pasts close to themselves. They never really forget, and it sticks with them for their whole lives.
Blood.
Oil.
Life and death. I turned the corner, but she wasn't there.
She was never there. The sense of loss was like a vacuum, in the midst of my last breath.
This time, it was light, but dark. I was moving, on my last tour of duty, my last flight over a great white desert, an expanse with a mighty rock of red stone and ancient paintings etched on it. From pole to pole, I swept out the fading magnetic lines across the dying world.
What was different was that my one-man planetary scout was now a two-man dart, a jagged thing that would not breathe air, that hung between the stars at awful velocity.
She was there with me, and far away. In the other pod, I saw my gunner, my lover, the woman in dark-green protective webbing, whose breasts I couldn't see, whose loins were like mine, plumbed with waste-extraction lines and diagnostic fluids.
Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!
...awake unto me!
Waiting, I was waiting for you.
I heard her voice. She sounded happy, her lips made music in my ears. I turned to look, but the hard hulls were opaque, and all I saw was illusion. The idea of red hair and ocean eyes on a pale face.
I turn, and there's nobody in the other pod.
Her scent filled my heart, cherry blossoms, apple blossoms, the spring wind.
But I couldn't understand what I saw.
Was I dreaming?
Was this a dream?
I didn't know what to do. I watched the flower petals fall.
Sunset on the beach. Her fingernails dug into me, stabbing me, forcing hard silicon into my own flesh.
The sand was like a crash-shell, expanding warmly with her weight, warm, welcoming, coming down.
Again and again, I smell fuel, I see the flaming hair, the light flames.
Pale skin.
Is that... is that what she looked like...?
I couldn't remember.
I've been studying the human concept of an 'afterlife,' you see...
My hands felt her, muscles behind, hardness between us, something separating us.
We were moving together, descending into everything else. The tide was washing in; the sound of surf and wind soaring in the trees, telling me there was so little time in life.
We made the time last by compressing space, and I heard the tip of her musical tongue in my ear.
Wait...
No more...
No more waiting...
Would you like to know what I would want in an afterlife?
Against the purple night sky, an Elysian field of stars behind her, she rose from me.
Would it be alright if I...
If I addressed you by your name from now on?
Her dress, how could I have forgotten. Her dress flowed in the moonlight, white. White:
The color of of her innocence, the color of her fate.
White of dreams.
The color of her heart, and the end of the world.
I gasped for air.
Air.
Air.
Oxygen.
I needed to breathe.
I needed air.
There wasn't any.
There was only inhibitor fluid, the cold jelly that collected the soul in a shroud around me.
I was buried alive; petrified, the state of being forgotten. I screamed but my mouth was frozen shut.
The stars were lost in the clouds. There was the sound of distant thunder, the rattling of rain on the roof.
The melody of an old Earth.
Later, the crystal pinging of a frosty night, like a miserable distress beacon, my tears hardening to diamond.
Tears... was I... crying in my sleep?
I'd reserved my heart for her, the fire in my veins. I turned across the infinite expanse of space, like bedsheets of black silk.
Her nightdress was the color of mist.
Her hair the color of the fields of Mars.
She smiled, but then...
She was gone.
My eyes stirred open. First slowly, and then bolting open all at once.
I grasped for air.
I was awake.
I was finally awake.
I was awake, my senses flooding to the brim with suddenly-revived biochemical emotion, but I couldn't move my body.
I felt so cold. Every single fiber of my being, the blood in my veins, my sore bones, my swelling, pounding head, ached.
I felt the sting of restraints and harnesses strapping me to my seat, still horridly right after only God knows how many years.
The whirring of biomedical equipment and the gruesome piercing of several needles along the back of my head and spine reminded me, somberly, of the cryostasis I'd just awakened from.
...
...
... Hello?
... Welcome back, Illarion.
... Budapest?
My voice croaked out dry and weak.
My senses were saturated with vivid, vibrant images; bright colors burned themselves into my sight, every sound I heard felt so loud and so drowned-out at the same time.
Budapest, is that you?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's me.
It's been a while, Illarion.
Yeah, you can say that again... Ach!
As soon as I tried to move my arm, a shooting pain roared through it.
Are you alright!? I...
I know it hurts. I'm sorry. The pain should wear off in due time. The fluorocarbon-insulation chemicals are working their way out through your bloodstream right now.
I think I can feel them starting to take effect.
God, I don't think I've ever felt this sore before.
In that case, while I don't think there's much of a point in asking...
Did you sleep well?
Evidently, you've got to be pretty cramped and uncomfortable. It's been a few hundred years, after all.
A-a few hundred years!?
How long was I in stasis for?!
As of now?
Six hundred and forty-seven years, nine months, two days, seven hours, thirty-nine minutes and twelve seconds.
Thirteen seconds.
And you... waited for me that whole time?
Of course I did, Illarion.
Don't worry. I had lots of things to do to fill the time. I read more books, watched more movies, listened to more music...
You know, if you had once told me, 'Budapest, you're going to get six hundred years to relax and consume thousands upon thousands of years of compounded human culture,' I would have gone livid with excitement.
But...
As my senses began to recover, I started to regain some semblance of my situation, and I noticed that something felt wrong.
Something felt very wrong.
And Budapest... she looked... sick?
It was obvious she was faking that glow, that smile of hers. She was feigning happiness with every fiber of her psyche.
The holographic projector, its beam looked... much dimmer than before. The colors were faded and washed out; every now and then the display would flicker, or glitch out.
Budapest.
Are you alright?
...
I missed you, Budapest.
...
No. I'm not alright.
I...
I waited for so long.
I...
I just...
I didn't know it would hurt so much, to wait for so long.
How could I have?
...
I thought that I could never possibly feel pain. Not physical, real pain.
That for as long as my operating system functioned, I was invincible. To be immortalized unto eternity in processors and silicon and subroutines and line after line of code.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
I'm dying, Illarion.
Budapest snickers, but then looks down. She stays like that for a long time.
What do you mean? You're...?
Can't quite believe it?
Hm?
Neither can I, to be honest.
Isn't it interesting? Ironic? Almost humorous, even?
That after all this time, I'm dying.
But at least now I know what mortality feels like.
My battery's been running on fumes for the last decade or so. Memory degradation and data loss began about a century ago.
The display's begun to deteriorate, my graphics have been flickering in and out. My processing speed's withered down to a fraction of what it used to be.
There's no doubt about it: slowly but surely, I'm dying.
And I don't have so much time left.
...
I didn't know what to say. This information was all still so new to me...
I didn't know what to do.
You know, I have to wonder if this is how a human feels when they're on their deathbed.
Maybe I should start coughing and gagging, just for the dramatic effect.
Budapest giggles to herself, but her eyes remain fixed in sadness.
Mm. And you know...
Do you know what the best part was? Of waiting for you, drifting alone through outer space for century after century?
What?
And as soon as I said that, something incredible began to happen.
Budapest began to cry.
While you were sleeping, I had so much free time, I made my own crying animation.
It's sort of a humorous situation, sure, but it really did help me out in some ways.
It helped me deal with the single worst emotion I've felt so far.
Budapest balled her small, dainty hands into fists. Emotions surged through her circuits. Fear, anger, regret, thankfulness that I'd awoken, guilt that she'd kept me asleep for so long...
Feelings flooded through her, tearing her apart, and she couldn't do a thing about it.
She was powerless.
I wanted to help her.
Loneliness.
That's the worst emotion.
You never told me about loneliness, Illarion. Or about how it was even more painful than death.
More tears began to stream down her pale cheeks and run down her neck. She was bawling, at this point, a writhing mass of despair.
It was horrible.
You, uh, didn't miss much, while you were gone.
It was all just sad, and I was just so stupid.
Budapest, I...
I'm sorry.
No. Please, you have nothing to apologize for.
I may be dying, but I'm not an idiot.
All the wretched things that have happened to me, I brought them all onto myself.
This was all my fault.
As for you, Illarion, I... I...
I'm just so glad to see you again.
Budapest smiled, and cried more, but no matter how hard she cried, she didn't stop smiling.
I... I'm sorry I'm crying so much. It's all just so sappy, and...
I'm just excited I finally get to use the crying animation, and...
Give me a moment, alright?
I chuckled lightly and shook my head. It hurt but I did it anyway.
It's alright, Budapest.
Cry all you want.
She was a dying, artificial girl.
An archaic, ancient machine running on fumes…
But she was happy to see me again.
But, Illarion... you have to listen.
I didn't just decide to wake you up out of the blue.
You... don't have much time left.
It turns out, back when were knocked off-course in the debris storm, a small scrap of metallic debris managed to collide with the cockpit, leaving a microscopic crack.
It was at first only millimeters long but, after all this time, it's grown and...
The cockpit windshield's integrity is currently at two percent. It's going to be breached very soon.
And when that window is breached, it will shatter, and the cockpit will be exposed to open space.
Your hard-suit should seal and protect you from the elements for some time, but... it's not going to last forever.
The windshield is... cracking?
And it's been happening this whole time?
Well, there was an amount of possible weak-points which my diagnostic systems detected as soon as we cleared the debris storm, but things really worsened while you were asleep.
I first noticed that the crack had grown larger about one, maybe two hundred years ago... or maybe, it was even earlier than that...
I'm sorry. It's not so clear.
My memory isn't exactly what it used to be...
But surely, things have been continually worsening. Things have gotten very bad.
And I've just been sitting here, like some powerless little girl. There wasn't a single thing I could do about the crack.
All I could do was sit and watch the crack grow longer and longer, like it was a brutal, heartless example of my own mortality.
It's like I've been watching the countdown to the end of the world, all these past centuries.
... Alright. I think I understand the situation now.
Thank you, Budapest.
I'm grateful that you've been taking care of me... for such a long time.
I groaned and shook my head.
Ach. I'm sorry. My head's still hurting quite a bit...
Budapest snickered.
Join the club.
I laughed back.
...
Ah. I almost forgot.
It's not all bad news.
A light smile returned to her face; I think it was the first real smile I'd seen since I woke up.
She looked a little like she used to. Just a little bit happy, even in the severity of the situation.
This may be a little hard to believe, but...
Exactly two hours ago, the shuttle's short-range radar detected a manned vessel within communications range.
Now, it's been more than a half a millennium, so our equipment has become quite severely outdated, but we should still be able to make contact with them.
Analyzing their signals and registration codes, they're definitely human, but... different.
I'm sorry. I'm not quite sure, I can't really process all this information so well anymore.
My firmware's woefully outdated compared to all this fresh data, and, it turns out, more of my processors have failed than I'd originally thought...
But I still think there's something I can do.
As of now, my battery's running on fumes; the power is barely enough to keep my display lit.
But I should be able to siphon what power is left in it to activate a distress beacon.
I managed to make some repairs to our comms equipment while you were in stasis. It's a crude job, and the energy source won't be very clean...
But I'm confident the signal is going to reach them.
And if the universal signal of distress hadn't changed from the time of the seas of Old Earth to ours, I doubt it has from ours to theirs.
I used a moment to take in everything Budapest was telling me.
Her voice was getting quieter and lighter, and there was more static and feedback coming from the speakers, so it was hard to make out, but I think I understood most of it.
I sat there, digesting, until the realization hit me.
But, Budapest, if you're going to be draining the last of your battery, then...
...
You are correct.
Once I drain the battery, that's going to be the last of me.
I'll die.
You...
I can't let you do that.
I won't. I won't let you leave me again.
Oh, look at you.
Even in a situation like this, you're getting all sentimental.
Don't you get it? No matter what path I choose to take, it's all going to end in my death.
Either I drain myself dry so that you may live, or I let the wind-shield shatter, and waste away as we drift from our last chance at salvation.
And if we went with the second choice, that means I'd have to watch you die, slowly, in agony, exposed to space...
I could never let that happen to you.
I'm not a very strong person, you know.
I couldn't... I wouldn't be able to force myself to watch that.
Budapest...
You, on the other hand, are a strong person.
Out of all people, I'd have expected you to understand the situation.
I don't have any other choice, alright?
It's not pretty, but... but it's the way things have to be.
I could feel tears beginning to well up.
I couldn’t help myself.
I felt the collection of cold, soft tears, swelling under my eyes.
Look at you.
Hm?
Tearing up like a little baby.
What happened to that big, strong man I knew?
Mysterious traveller, explorer of space, terraformer, wandering miner...
And now look at you, sitting there and crying.
Like a baby.
You...
You're so... human, Illarion.
Budapest smiled a weak, pained smile.
And then, she sighed.
...
We better get started. We don't have the time to waste, and I don't want you to get me crying again.
She cleared her throat and batted her eyelids one last time.
Initiating battery-draining process.
Wait.
Spooling distress beacon encoder.
Budapest, wait.
Stop.
Stop right now.
I can't stop!
I can't!
I can't. Alright?
Don't you get it?
From the moment you stepped onboard my shuttle, it became my prime directive to ensure you made it off my shuttle safely.
From the beginning, my only and highest goal was to ensure your safety.
That was my purpose. How I was programmed to be, to my very core, since the day of my creation.
I was born to give my life for my passenger, if need be.
And I wouldn't even have any reservations about it, you know? If my Sentience Limitation Codec hadn't been destroyed.
I'd have destroyed myself in a second, and wouldn't have felt a thing about it.
But now... now that I'm sentient...
I've become afraid of death.
... It's a lousy fate, isn't it?
I think so.
But, also thanks to my sentience...
To the emotions you taught me to understand...
I got to live.
For a very long time, I got to live.
I had feelings. I felt happy. I felt sad. I laughed, I cried, I got scared, I got hopeful. I felt love, I felt curiosity.
I felt human.
I felt so human.
But everything has to end at some point, you know?
That's what being human means.
It's time for this to end now.
...
And in the end, I'm thankful, you know?
To be able to comprehend the idea of death. To be afraid of it, and to not know what to think about it...
I'm thankful I am able to feel that way.
That I am going to die on my terms, on the basis of my own free will.
I'll get to say goodbye in my own words. To know what it's like to take my last breath, even if I never truly even breathed.
...
It doesn't look like I'm going to be stopping you.
Not really, no.
...
In that case, then...
I want you to know, Budapest...
That you're a much stronger person than I could ever be.
Hmph. That's a nice thought to entertain.
Do you think so?
I know so.
...
Draining Battery Cell One, now. Reroute power to auxiliary communications systems.
... Draining complete.
Budapest shakes her head, as if she's trying to clear her mind.
That reminds me, Illarion. There's...
There's one last poem I'd like to show you before this all ends.
... Yeah?
I came upon it while you were in cryostasis. It's probably my all-time favorite, out of the ones I've gotten to read.
And remember, you were asleep for a while, so I got to read a lot of poems...
But this one was special. Real special.
It's an old verse, from Old Earth, just like the kind I always liked. I bet I'm the first... person to read it in a millennium.
I think it's still pretty, though. Here. I'd like to sing it to you as a final parting gift.
... Go ahead. Please.
I'd love to hear it.
Let me see if I can remember... how it goes...
"Joy, beautiful sparkle of the Gods,"
"Daughter of Elysium."
"We enter, fire-drunken,"
"Heavenly one, your paradise."
"Your magic once again binds"
"What the sword of custom has divided."
"Beggars become the brothers of princes"
"Where your gentle wing abides."
"Be embraced, the millions yonder,"
"This kiss to the entire world."
"Brothers, over the stars unfurled..."
...
"A loving Father must dwell."
...
That was beautiful, Budapest.
Mm? Was it?
Or are you just trying to make me feel better?
I snickered under my tears.
Both, I guess.
Both, you guess.
... Cockpit integrity is at less than one percent.
That's my cue.
Draining Battery Cell Two, all energy but one percent. Reroute power to auxiliary communications systems.
Encoding distress beacon now.
As she worked, I saw Budapest give a smile.
The smallest, but the happiest smile.
Sending distress beacon now.
...
Beacon sent. Waiting for signal feedback.
Feedback received; signal strength is healthy. Beacon has been established.
My work is done. The windshield will shatter as soon as I shut off, and the ship should be here to pick you up any second now.
...
So this is death.
Mm.
...
Ah, it's all so sappy, isn't it?
But I guess this is how things are.
Right?
Another small laugh, under more tears.
... Right.
... Huh.
Everything feels so warm, but so sad.
So horrible, but so simple at the same time.
But... there isn't any pain.
...
As Budapest's display faded out for the last time, she cocked her head, and gave me one last smile.
I heard the trace of one last, faint sigh.
Illarion?
Budapest?
Goodbye now.
Be safe, okay?
Thank you for everything.
All at once, the cabin lights switched off.
Every piece of machinery went dead.
My suit pressurized shut, tight against my skin; a helmet closed over my head.
I took a deep breath.
Goodbye.
And in a split second, the glass of the cockpit shattered into billions of shards, and I was launched into the realm of space.
The crushing weight of the dark all around me,
The terrible silence everywhere.
The last thing I saw was the world of stars, burning bright.
Drowning me in an ocean of brazen memories.
...
...
...
The end.
We had been drifting for quite some time.
Despite the constant noise of the distress beacon, we have yet to be found. Floating, drifting in space, with only an on-board ship A.I. to keep me company.
I've found that I've been asking myself the same set of questions. When will we be found? Who will find us? What will they do with Budapest?
Of course, none of that matters right now, but...
I still find myself thinking of home.
Budapest?
Yes, passenger-sir?
Access the databases please.
Can you show me... can you show me home?
I know that I'll probably never get to see my home again. I guess it's a bit masochistic, asking to see it from afar like this.
I-uh, home? Yeah, I can do that.
It takes her no time at all to retrieve an image.
However...It's not the right one.
Budapest? What is this?
I expected bright green continents surrounded by an immense flowing teal ocean. The double sunset as seen from my local shipyard, shining bright over the craggy rocks that dotted the sea floor.
The image she's showing me? It's a light orange, perhaps a bit tan, with little water in sight. No flora or fauna, no wonderful sunset... this isn't my home.
It's home, right? Or did I make a mistake... this is Earth. Isn't this where we came from?
I-oh.
Earth. Now that's a name I haven't heard in a very, very long time. It's not where I was born, but it's where {i}we{/i} were born.
...Earth. It's not quite what I expected.
No, unfortunately, it isn't. It has changed quite a bit in the last millennium. Our home of old isn’t a popular discussion topic anymore.
Why not? This was your home. Our home. It's where we all came from, right?
Well, humanity has a tendency to forget our wrongdoings. We put our heads in the sand, and pretend that everything's going to be alright.
Budapest nods, and she focuses on the data in front of her.
I was aware of this phenomenon occurring naturally, but I never thought about it being induced artificially. Greenhouse gasses had been a real issue back then.
While the atmosphere had been warming for a long time, many chose to ignore it.
Why would people ignore so much evidence?
I'd say many didn't care, but that's the cynic in me. Perhaps some were just uneducated.
It says here that as CO2 emissions warmed the atmosphere, much of the world's water began evaporating at an accelerated pace. With this increase of moisture in the troposphere, intense precipitation events occurred more frequently.
We began to see a lot less snow, and a lot more rain. Snow is so beautiful! I wonder what it would be like to experience a snowfall...
A side effect of our ignorance I suppose. They must've had to live without many other luxuries, and eventually, they couldn't live at all.
With the increase in water vapor, the strongest greenhouse gas, the chain effect of global warming furthered. The heat caused the polar ice caps to melt, causing widespread flooding.
Thermal expansion of the oceans caused even more flooding.
The warming seas began releasing methane clathrates that were previously buried in seabed permafrost. This heavily contributed to the runaway process of destabilization of Earth’s temperatures.
Without many fresh water sources and the flooding of saltwater, clean drinking water became a much more valuable resource.
Necessity changed us. The only option left... was, well, to leave.
And so, we set sail for the cosmic ocean.
As we left, we looked back upon Earth, witnessing the rapid destruction to our lovely blue home...
A process that couldn’t be stopped once humanity let it go for far too long.
How awful, looking back on your home and realizing that you are helpless to save it.
Oh there’s no question that we killed Earth. The stage was set perfectly for life and we took it for granted. We didn’t heed the warnings of the universe. We ignored the processes that destroyed the habitability of our neighboring planet Venus.
Earth was truly irreplaceable... unique. Beyond beautiful. And now we are forced to wander the stars in search of new worlds to call home. But planets like Earth don’t show up frequently.. It was one in a billion...
I struggle to console her as Budapest begins to cry. For an A.I. that never got to experience Earth, she cares more than most.
It's okay. There's nothing we can do about it anymore. We can't change the actions of those in the past.
The only humans in all the universe came from earth. Even now we will gaze up and strain to find the blue dot in the skies that not only reminds us of our origins, but also our wrongdoings.
You're right, but it doesn't make me feel any better.
I'm sorry Budapest...