**** Aria ****
Aria agreed to talk with Lucas. It wasn't like she needed permission, but she couldn't exactly go off with another guy for however long without telling him in the least. And he might not like the idea, and Lucas meant alot more than Nox did in terms of her happiness. And Nox understood, she hoped.
Lucas was at Dueling Dragons, he felt like he was doing the financial thing again, the thing he hated most about running his shop. She smiled as she walked in and the bell gave it's soft ring as she entered.
Sergei looked up with a smile and a nod then went back to his work. He was drawing, the shop was quiet for once. There was no pain, only the remnants of it. It was still a draw to come here and sit for no reason other than to be here, watching Lucas was a plus, but even if he wasn't here it was still a nice wait.
Aria wrapped her arms around Lucas neck from behind him as he sat. She looked over his shoulder and saw the numbers he was crunching. "I need to talk to you about a proprosal Nox made, when you've some free time."
**** Lucas ****
Lucas was irritated. He hated this part of the business. But he had to do it. His back was to the door and he was concentrating, trying to get everything straight. It's not that things didn't make sense. He just had to make sure everything in the spreadsheet went where it was supposed to. Stupid software was supposed to make it easier to anticpate inventory as well as to let them know how they were doing. As if he couldn't just go and look at the the ink and see if they were low or something. But Valentin had required it. He knew he wasn't being a jerk. He was trying to make sure Lucas knew how to run a business. Still, more than likely, Lucas would probably hire someone to do all the books, if it ever came down to it. If Valentin was gone, that is. He didn't like thinking about that, but you had to be realistic. The man was getting older. It was a fact of life. Well, he had enough facts for the day.
The bell dinged but he didn't turn around. Sergei could take care of whoever it was. He closed his eyes and sighed. He'd probably knock off early anyway. He was tired and feeling lazy. Unless he had reason to, he'd probably skip the gym today. Honestly, all he really wanted to do was nothing- go home and relax. Maybe call up Aria. That made him feel better. Yeah, it'd be nice to play, of course. But even just curl up with her. For some reason, he didn't feel like doing anything but just laying next to her and relaxing. Maybe watch TV or read. But just hang out.
He felt arms go around his neck and her cheek and lips against his cheek and ears, the feel of her breasts against his back. He smiled. Maybe he was magic, because suddenly she was there as if summoned. He turned to look at her. Maybe the rest of his wish would come true too.
"I need to talk to you about a proprosal Nox made, when you've some free time." He frowned at that. He liked Nox pretty well. He was a good guy, as far as he could tell. And while it was kinda obvious he thought Aria was attractive, he was also respectful to Lucas. They seemed to get on almost like siblings. Certainly Nox treated Aria about the same as he did his sister Aurora. Obviously, Lucas would rather have been Aria's partner than Nox. But he just didn't have the training and ability either of them had. And he'd seen Aria take a hit or a wound trying to protect him. She had shared her fear for him later that night, even as they had made passionate love. Being with him compromised her. He got it. He did. But it still bothered him that he couldn't be there for her. Nox could, though. His surrogate. Aria could- and had- let him get hurt. It wasn't something he was proud of, but seeing Nox with that nice gash in his arm had felt....good. Aria didn't panic with Nox there, didn't get afraid or second guess herself.
She was what she was. He knew that as much as he wanted to, he couldn't take that from her. It was what she was, what she did. He couldn't stop her. Nor should he. She did good work. So he let her go without him, to give her the best chance. And was glad that she had a partner like Nox, one that she could trust and who had her back, but that she would be able to concentrate on the job. It was a good thing. It was. He kept telling himself that.
"Any break from these numbers is great." He turned around and pulled her down into his lap. He enjoyed the feel of her bottom on him. His arms went around her waist and he kissed her. "So...proposal. He trying to poach you?" He didn't think so. It was a joke. He trusted Nox. More importantly, he trusted Aria. She would never betray him, never cheat on him. It just wasn't who she was.
**** Aria ****
Lucas pulled Aria into his lap and she nearly melted at his touch, his kiss made her heart leap and she wanted nothing more than to stay there forever. But life goes on around them, and it's not possible to stay in that moment forever.
Aria smiled at his comment, she could feel the joke that was only mildly tinged with fear. He worried, but there was nothing between her and Nox, and both of them made sure of that. Aria knew and felt that Nox was still something Lucas wasn't happy about. "In a sense." Aria smiled, watching the emotions play through Lucas' eyes. She hoped he understood it was just a reply to his joke. "He wants me to go to the United States with him for a few months. Show me his stomping grounds, and get their gear. He likes it here. Wants to stay. But he misses his ride. And wants one last hurrah at home."
Aria still wasn't looking forward to the plane ride. She hated flying. She hated boats. They were confining, there was no place to get off if she had to. It was all or nothing. But it could be fun beyond that part of it. But Aria didn't want to make Lucas feel worse about the arrangement they all had.
**** Lucas ****
Lucas listened with a sinking feeling. The United States. It was a long way away. She'd be gone a long time. While he didn't like that, he could live with that part. But what if something happened to her over there? What if she got hurt? Killed? He'd not be able to get to her.
He knew that didn't make sense. She could get hurt or killed here too. She went out at night and hunted. She'd come by his place and he'd see the bruises or cuts on her naked body. He knew what they were. It tore at him, to see them. But he lived with it. Barely, but he did. He could tell her to back off, to take a day. To be careful. He could cheer her up, could do fun things with her. Could feel like he balanced her, that his time with her somehow...lessened the pains she went through. Maybe it did. He knew she depended on him. It made it bearable for him.
But if she was there...he be able to do little. They could talk on the phone, but that was it. He couldn't draw a bath for her or rub ointment into a bruise or treat a wound. He couldn't wake her up with a kiss and breakfast, couldn't give her pleasure to overwhelm her, to balance out the pain. He wouldn't be there for her.
And yet he knew he couldn't tell her not to go. It wasn't his place. He couldn't change her, didn't want to change her. He just wanted her to be happy, to make her happy. He knew what she'd say, but he had to say it. "I'm going to go with you. Sergei can watch the shop. Valentin will keep the books. I can drop my classes. Let me go with you." He waited for her words. As he did, frustration built inside him. Anger. That mother fucker Nox!!! He was going to have words with the guy. Nox was not gonna be laughing when he was done with him.
**** Aria ****
Aria could feel he didn't want her to go, his words were almost a surprise. He wanted to go. It was Aria's turn to be a mixed bag of emotions. She'd love to have Lucas to herself for a few months, nothing but the hunt, but that's exactly what it was going to be a hunt, one long endless hunt. The endless days of worrying, the sadness of seeing him hurt. Aria could feel his anger rising, it wasn't directed at her, she figured it was at probably Nox.
Aria smiled. "Nox said you could come if you wanted to." Aria put her hand on his shoulder and made him look at her with the other hand. "But Lucas, this is going to be one long hunt. Nox has no home, he has no stationary place of residence. They moved around their whole life. We'll go from hunt to hunt, from cache to cache, with no end until we come home and all their gear is collected." She put both hands around his chin and smiled. "And you can't really leave here all of a sudden. Your classes are important, your clients too. It's your therapy." Aria knew none of that would really stop him from going. She wasn't exactly sure she wanted him to stay home either, but it was dangerous when he was around. Aria looked down. "You know I'd worry about you out there with me." Aria looked back up into his beautiful blue eyes, "I would give anything to think right with you around, but you are too special, you mean too much to me. I would die if you got hurt, or worse." A tear fell on to her check as she thought about it. "Losing you because of what I do would be the worst possible thing Lucas. There is no coming back from that."
**** Lucas ****
Lucas hung his head. She had won. Before he even had a chance. He'd known. She had a dangerous job, a dangerous life. Her surviving meant that she had to be at her best. His being with her would weaken her. It made him sick to his stomach, knowing that, knowing that the best way to ensure that she came back to him safely was for him to stay behind.
His male mind rebelled against that idea and he wanted to put his foot down, to insist that she stay. Fuck Nox and his 'last hurrah'! But the truth was he didn't own her. He didn't control her. If they were married, things might be different. Maybe. But they weren't. And in any case, he couldn't change her. She had abilities that made her different. She was special. And her life up to this point had only accentuated that.
She walked a line, always drawn to the darkness, the pain. The only thing that kept her from going over the edge was him. It's why she wasn't able to focus when he was with her. She was terrified of losing him. A part of him also worried at what she would be if something were to happen. The saddest thing to him was the fact that she'd lose her humanity, her goodness. Because she was good. She wanted to be good. She struggled to be good. He didn't kid himself. He had a feeling she'd done some things that it would bother him to know. He honestly didn't want to pry into that. The theory was one thing. The reality another. But he knew her, loved her. It was his job to protect her from herself. Ultimately, it was why he stayed with her but let her go alone. It was why he was there for her. It was why he was going to let her go alone. Because she deserved a chance at happiness. And that meant that he had to be alive and safe. It was codependent, he knew. But his heart was involved. And it meant that she was safe. That she had a measure of peace.
It was his gift to her. His sacrifice. And he would bear it.
But yeah, Nox was going to get an earful from him. Big time.
He pulled her to him, burying his head against her chest, hearing her heartbeat. She was warm through her shirt. He was shaking he realized. Suddenly, terrified that he was losing her. He looked up into her beautiful green eyes. "I love you. I will be waiting when you come home. You promise to call me?" He searched her eyes, hoping- he didn't have to, he knew- that she knew how much she meant to him. Suddenly, he needed to be with her, wanted her badly, wanted to show her how much she meant to him.
**** Aria ****
Lucas hung his head, defeated, was the only feeling that she could describe, Aria's heart ached. He felt too much, she knew too much of what his thoughts were, the emotions inside. It wasn't fair, not really. Aria knew how much he cared, how much she meant to him, and there was nothing she could do that could ever show him in return. Even sharing what she felt, felt cheap in comparison. But it's not like she had a choice in the matter, she could choose to block everything out, but he was what kept her calm, safe, her reason for coming out of the darkness, no matter how deep she fell in.
He said he loved her. Aria knew that, and she cared for him, probably was love, everyone else said it was love, but she still didn't know. Love wasn't a definable emotion, it was a bag of everything, and yet it had it's own name. Aria leaned in and kissed Lucas softly and whispered. "I love you too." She leaned back and smiled. "I'll probably annoy you with the amount I'll call." Aria could feel his desire, she glanced at Sergei and then at the books Lucas was doing.
"I will get some food, you finish up here and I'll meet you at your place?" She smiled playfully. "Me and you, alone, until I have to leave to get on that damned plane." In truth Aria didn't know when that was, it could be days or weeks, but either way she was spending the rest of whatever time she had with Lucas.
**** Lucas ****
She loved him. Simple words. Profound words. Words to change a man's life, to give a man hope, a reason to live. He had lived without her and if he was honest, he would do so again. But life with her was real life. He didn't know where it would lead or what it meant, really. But he was happy.
He pulled her to him and just felt her against him. It was enough. After a bit, she looked up at Sergei. The man was studiously, concentratedly. And he had his headphones on. He smiled. The guy was doing his best to ignore them. She got up to leave, planning in meeting him later. He watched her leave, then looked over at Sergei.
Loudly he said, "She's gone."
Sergei looked up with a grin. "Yeah, I noticed." He put his pen down and stretched. He'd been at it for a while. Then he looked at Lucas. "So...I guess this isn't a casual thing is it?"
Lucas put his own pen down. "No. No, I don't think it is." Sergei was his friend and a good man. He trusted him with his life. But Aria and her secrets, well Sergei wouldn't understand. And it wasn't his to give. Still...."I don't know man. There's just something about her that pulls at me. She needs me."
Sergei listened and was quiet for a bit. "I know Lucas. I know. And it makes sense, given, well you know. How you grew up. Feeling unwanted."
Lucas knew he was right. A stab of fear pierced him. Was this just two damaged people using each other? He had told her he loved her. And he thought he did. At least, what he understood of love. He looked away and out the window for a bit. "I won't lie. I'm scared. We both are hurt, damaged. She gives me something. She wants me. Needs me. It makes me feel alive. Makes me feel like this is what I've been waiting for." He looked at Sergei. He was older and he was a good man. "Are we just using each other? I mean, I'm not asking you. I am saying that that is what I am afraid of."
He waited. The truth was, Sergei couldn't have the answer. But just talking to him, being honest about his fears, voicing them, that helped. Sergei looked down at his drawings and was quiet for a bit. Lucas watched the winter sun's light disappear and was about to get up to get his things when Sergei spoke.
"Love is unselfish and kind." The words were familiar, though he couldn't place them at the moment. "Love is about wanting the other person to be happy. There's nothing wrong with feeling that need, that...desire to do that." He looked at Lucas. "I think....I think the real problems come from it being only one person in the relationship who's doing the loving. Not the words. The actions." He looked at the door, as if he could still see Aria. "I don't know her. You do. I guess the only thing I would say is...just don't be the only one to love. Don't be the only one to sacrifice." As if sensing Lucas' discomfort he added, "You're a good man Lucas. One of the best I've known. I just want you to be happy man. You're my brother. I hope that she loves you the same way you love her."
Lucas wanted to respond, to defend her. But Sergei wasn't accusing her. He was just speaking his hopes. He wanted this to work for him. Lucas took a deep breath, pushing past the fear, and opened his heart to Sergei's words. He still loved Aria. He was sure of it. But he wouldn't be afraid of things not working out. Well, maybe he would, but he would risk it anyway. It was a chance he was taking, but he believed.
He laughed, the source of Sergei's words coming to him. With a smile he finished it. "Love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." He would hope.
He got up and got his jacket and as he walked to the door, he put his hand on Sergei's shoulder. "You're a good friend Sergei. The best. You're my brother." It was just a hand on the shoulder, but it was enough. A manly connection, two islands reaching out a hand of support or to lend comfort or wisdom. Sergei looked up at him with a wry smile.
"All right, go on. She's waiting." He winked. "I'm sure you both will be very busy tonight." His smile became a wicked grin. "I'll make sure to send you texts regularly to interrupt."
They both laughed and Lucas said his goodbye and walked out. It would be what it would be. He had his need to be loved and needed. And he believed in Aria. And in himself. He would hope this was as real as it felt. She would be gone a long time. So they had to make up for that lost time.
Later, he might pay Nox a visit. Tomorrow or something. If he wasn't gonna go, then Nox better understand how things worked. And what his responsibilities were. And how pissed Lucas was at him.
But later.
**** Aria ****
Aria grabbed food from Salvetore's. It was easy enough to put in an order and have it ready by the time she got there. Victor made a big deal about it all. He wanted her to stay, to bring Lucas in again, promised to keep his nose out of their business. But Aria didn't think that was any better an idea. She really wanted to spend time with Lucas and only Lucas before she went off hunting with Nox.
Aria had said the three little words, and she felt how he'd felt in reaction. She really did want this to work out, all of it. She'd have to make it up to him, and now was just good as anytime to start.
They ate and chatted and Aria reassured Lucas of things, answered whatever questions he had. Promised to call, just as she did now, she would call him after the hunts, it was more for her than him. She needed the reassurance after the darkness crept in. The need to kill, to inflict pain and suffering, to end the presence in her mind, to make it vanish forever. It was all part of the darkness, and the need lingered even after she came back to Lucas. It was important to call him. Two months was a long time. Not as long as the time before she'd met Lucas, it was only a matter of months that she'd been alone, without mentor, guide, a friend. And then she found Lucas. It was sad to think that she had to meet Dane first before she'd met Lucas. But it was how it went.
Aria had to break before she found him. She'd walked past the tattoo shop for months before she ever felt the need to stop in. And only because of Dane she had.
Aria and Lucas watched some TV but that didn't last long before they found themselves in the bedroom, exhausting themselves and building up for their extended separation. Aria had learned to control her ability but still chose to share with Lucas everything she felt. It was their connection, something only she could give him. There wasn't much she could give him other than that, there was little control over her life. What she did control she made sure Lucas was a part of it.
The night played out and Aria fell asleep in Lucas' arms content and satisfied. But she intended to spend as much time with him as possible until she left.
(8 pages - 3867 words)