Look back to your loved ones

[bGZo]

Last tonight I read a tweet thread written by SahilBloom, which really sparked me.

Last year, I had a conversation that changed my life.
It caused me to upend everything and move across the country.
The lesson from it may change yours:

— Sahil Bloom (@SahilBloom) September 17, 2022

<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

Since Covid-19, little by little, I realized the precious nature of time with people I care most deeply about. When I look back, I always fail to recognize it until it's too late, almost everything, the parents, friends, events which missing is gone forever.

Identify them. Prioritize them ruthlessly

A curial reality is that, we don't have too much time with parents, especially in post-pandemic era.

It turns out that when I graduated from high school, I had already used up 93% of my in-person parent time. I’m now enjoying the last 5% of that time. We’re in the tail end.¹

In recent years, when look back the half of my life, I have a feeling, I live in a isothermal layer one by one. Maybe this period I do the best, while next maybe not.

I am not special, the dream of child maybe not come true. I cannot figure out, which told words in the past is a lie, even who told me.

What I want

I am living in a end period of growing fast society, whose economy increasing by the demographic dividend. The multinational companies are more willing to use cheap labor in China, which would bring the economy increasing is very fast. The More simple word is: exchange the technology using huge people labor force.

天道酬勤
越努力, 越幸运
熬一个春夏秋冬，享一生荣华富贵!
不苦不累，高三无味。不拼不搏，高三白活!

Those words filled my life since I birthed. But wait, does it sounds like a pre-employment training? The boss do a speech how hard his half life and create a company. As long as you do like the boss, you would be successful. Being the top1 in some competition, going the top1 university, archiving the top1 project for company.

Those bullshit and lies sucks. They told us a certainty of our future, which everything would be planned prefect by someone else, as long as you have do the best right now. Poor analogical reasoning is unrealistic. I am not saying the hard work is bad. I mean, painting a rosy picture is simple, but it's never the same.😝

In a tradition China, there is a proverb for a rural farmer:

三十亩地一头牛, 老婆孩子热炕头

It describe a common sense: you have 30 acres of land and one cow(productive forces) for living, you have a loved wife, children and a warm house. It is normal but compared the foreign countries, it's more difficult and complex in China nowadays.

I am just a common person, except the hard coding work, I honestly want to be with loved ones. Friends, non-work friend, pets and more relationship except work. Just like :

I have no life. I never see any of my non-work friends, and I’m wasting away my one and only youth. I ought to be out doing fun things and active things, the kind of things I won’t be able to do when my mind and body finally decay. ²

similar words said by Paul Graham as well:

Don’t ignore your dreams; don’t work too much; say what you think; cultivate friendships; be happy. ³

I mean, don't be too much utilitarian. Look back to your loved ones, which are always waiting your arrival. Don't just for a high salary job. Try to make coding fun of your life. Be yourself. Work for your loved ones. Don't make it too late and gone forever.

Choose what you matters, no matter how insignificant it is.

Small is Beautiful, Less is More!

October 9, 2022

Footnotes

1. Dec. 11, 2015 by Tim Urban The Tail End — Wait But Why ↩

2. Nov. 27 2011, Jamie Zawinski, The Netscape Dorm Startups Are Hard. So Work More, Cry Less, And Quit All The Whining « Uncrunched ↩

3. April 2012, Paul Graham The Top of My Todo List ↩