Final Project Report Comments

[chendaniely]

• for formal technical writing, do not use conjunctions
  • First sentence intro: "so it's important..." -> "so it is important"
• executive summary has BCCDR, the intro has BC CDR, I would make the spacing consistent
• i would list and then define the terms. to make the sentence flow better
  • The BC CDR Captures 3 different types... into our dashboard: incidence rate, lifetime prevalence, and active healthcare contact prevalence. The indigence rate is....
• use "three" instead of "3" for formal writing
• use "five" instead of "5" for formal writing (things less than 10? i think is the rule?)

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• swap the ordering for sections 2.1 and 2.2 so the dashboard is first. then modeling after. mainly because temporal modelining references a dashboard before you talk about the dashboard. same probably applies for DS Techniques section

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• joinpoint regression "Time in years" why is the "T" capitalized? I don't think you need that?
• second time you mention "Time in years" can just be "time"
• why is there no reference to figure 1 in the text? since it's not referenced in the results you should remove it.

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• is it possible for figure 2 to be created without the annotations but just saved out from the code?
  • Then reference the image from the code-generated output?
  • You can talk about the points, grey bands and blue bands in the text/caption
  • use a reproducible image
  • You can do the same with Figure 1 (if you choose to keep it + write about it) if you put the 2 images into a single image, or use latex subfigures, you don't necessarily need the arrows and breakpoint annotation unless you want to code up a +geom_anotation() bit to save out.

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• section 4 is a stacked heading

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• Your conclusion a bunch of separate paragraphs that are only 1 sentence long. Can you make those into proper paragraphs? instead of bullet points-esque statments
  • this also kind of shows up in your source document as the only section that isn't following the rest of the document's line breaks, so it's very different in the source + rendered document.