negative

When I was involved in a traffic accident.
When I was driving home after  several days of hard work, there was a motorist ahead of me who was driving at 50 km/hour and refused, despite his low speeed to let me overtake.
When I lost the person who meant the most to me.
The time I knocked a deer down - the sight of the animal's injuries and helplessness.  The realization that the animal was so badly hurt that it had to be put down, and when the animal screamed at the moment of death.
When I did not speak the truth.
When I caused problems for somebody because he could not keep the appointed time and this led to various consequences.
When I was going home alone one night in Paris and a man came up behind me and asked me if I was not afraid to be out alone so late at night.
When I was talking to HIM at a party for the first time in a long while and a friend came and interrupted us and HE left.
When my friends did not ask me to go to a New Year's party with them.
When I saw all the very drunk kids (13-14 years old) in town on Walpurgis night.
When I could not remember what to say about a presentation task at an accounts meeting.
When my uncle and my neighbour came home under police escort.
Every time I imagine that someone I love or I could contact a serious illness, even death.
When I had been obviously unjustly treated and had no possibility of elucidating this.
When I think about the short time that we live and relate it to the periods of my life when I think that I did not use this short time.
At a gathering I found myself involuntarily sitting next to two people who expressed opinions that I considered very low and discriminating.
When I realized that I was directing the feelings of discontent with myself at my partner and this way was trying to put the blame on him instead of sorting out my own feeliings.
I feel guilty when when I realize that I consider material things more important than caring for my relatives.  I feel very self-centered.
When, for the first time I realized the meaning of death.
When a car is overtaking another and I am forced to drive off the road.
When I recently thought about the hard work it takes to study, and  how one wants to try something else.  When I read a theoretical book in English that I did not understand.
When I found a bristle in the liver paste tube.
When I was tired and unmotivated, I shouted at my girlfriend and and brought up negative sides of her character which are actually not so important.
When I think that I do not study enough.  After the weekend I think that I should have been able to have accomplished something during that time.
When one has arranged to meet someone and that person arrives late, in the meantime one starts thinking about all that could have gone wrong e.g a traffic accident.
When one is unjustly accused of something one has not done.
When one's studies seem hopelessly difficult and uninteresting.
When one finds out that someone you know is not at all like one had thought, for instance friends who steal and things like that, quite unwarranted.
When one has been unjust, stupid towards someone else.
When one has neglected or been unjust to a good friend.
When I climbed up a tree to pick apples.  The angle of the ladder I was on did not enable me to get high enough.  This implied that the ladder was not very stable.
Friends who torture animals.
[ Same as in anger.]
Friends who torture animals.
[ Same as above - friends who torture animals.]
[ When excuses are necessary and I get out of doing it myself.]
When my 2 year old son climbed up and sat on the 7th floor balcony with his legs hanging out.  He was holding on tightly to the upper railing of the balcony but he could have easily lost his balance when he sat down.
When my partner was attacked and lost three teeth.
When I see children on T.V from areas devastated by drought and war.
When I nearly walked on a blindworm and then saw it crawl away.
When I saw my 18 year old son grab an oxygen mask as he had breathing difficulties.  I had a bad conscience because I had not stopped smoking.  Medication for the dilation of his breathing tubes also caused a sense of guilt in me.
I experience a sense of guilt as my middle son cannot express himself like other children, neither verbally nor in writing.
It was winter/spring and the ice was melting.  I was far out on a jetty and I poked the ice with a long branch to try and break it.  The branch went through the ice and I fell in, the water closed in over my head.
Unjust accusations directed at me and my way of acting, by someone close to me.
Failing an examination.
A drunkard fell, started bleeding and wet himself.  Disgust that turned into sadness-unpleasantness.
When, as an adult I have been caught lying or behaving badly.
When I am in an environment or with a person much worse off than me, I realize how privileged I am.
When, as a child, I was nearly knocked down by a car.
When I heard on the radio that the football match in Belgium had ended in a catastrophe, and several people had died.  I could not  understand how normal people could behave in such a way.
When I feel lonely, perhaps because I have to study a lot and I am shut up in my appartment.  Nothing happens in particular because there is no time for anything else.
When one learns through the mass media all the wars and killing going on in the world.
I lied, to be precise I cancelled a meeting with a good friend.
When one lets friends down
A bus drove over my right leg.  The event itself was not very frightening but when I had to wait in the emergency ward for three hours and then my leg began to swell, I was frightened.
At my Summer job, nobody looked after me in particular and I had to learn all on my own.
When I was not accepted as a student in finance and accounting.
When I had just moved into my new appartment I found a ventilator in the kitchen.  I was going to clean it when I found that the drum was full of mud and slime.  I felt disgusted.
My elder brother and I have not always had a good relationship and I feel ashamed of myself as I do not call him to talk to him nowadays.
At my Summer job a new caretaker had been employed who was my age  but I preferred going out for lunch with the accounts personnel rather than with him.
In a cottage in a large forest, I was alone for a while in the dark.
When I spoke to Jan-Erik Wikstr÷m on the telephone.
Railway station good-bye.
I saw a cripple in rags with small children in Italy.  He was probably an imposter.
I told a friend that I was going to a party and he would not enjoy himself if he came along.  He understood  that he would not have fitted in and there was something in that.
I was the reason behind the break-up of my friend's relationship with his girlfriend.  She finished with him.
On the way back from Denmark with a friend on a small yatch, there was a storm and my friend was blown overboard;  I was very scared till I managed to get him back onboard.
I locked myself out.
I missed the last tram home and had to walk in the pouring rain.
I found some worms in the food and I had obviously eaten some.
My friend was so intoxicated that the police came and took him away, and they later contacted his parents.
I hapened to overhear something which I was not meant to hear.
When I am out in the dark and a suspicious looking character comes towards me.
At work, when an elderly man complained unjustifiably about me and distrusted me.
When I had not understood anything after a lecture.
When an alcoholic stood dribbling over a food counter.
When my friend and I were discussing the good looks of a guy we realized that he had been listening.
When I complained about a colleague to the manager and he told her that someone had complained; this colleague came to me believing that I liked her.
On the way home one Friday night in the heavy rain the car acquaplanned.  I lost contact with the road surface for a few seconds.
Mad at my dad.
A case of unrequited love.
A bad smelling cucumber.
Nearly caught masturbating.
I do not help out enough at home.
When I flew from Athens to Copenhagen after a holiday.  The plane was caught in a storm and it began to shake and I thouhght that we were going to crash.
When someone stole my bike.
When I saw the list of books to read for an acccouting course, I thought " Oh God how will I ever manaage it!"
It was when I read a newspaper article on the future and they foresaw that we would be eating frog-burgers by the year 2000.  An illustration showed a frog between two pieces of bread.
When I dropped a bottle in the state liquor store and everyboby started laughing.
When I was young - 14, I pinched from a store and was caught.  The store then contacted my parents.
When I could not find my 2 year old daughter.  I ran and looked for her everywhere and could not find her.  (I finally found her, she had gone to bed to sleep)
When friends try to put me down or hurt me.
Marriage crises.  Boredom.
When someone makes advances that one does not want.
The discovery that one has only thought of oneself.
When I spanked a child in anger and later regretted it terribly.
When I drove to Stockholm for the first time and drove off the Stora Hissingen road at the wrong exit.
When my boyfriend went away for a month long holiday without me.
Last year when I worked during the Summer holidays and studied at the same time for an examination I had to repeat; my boyfriend went to Greece for a holiday for a month.
When a dog is left whining outside a shop.
When I promised to help a friend over a weekend and did not keep the promise.
When I realized that I had three more examinations to take.
While taking a short cut through the Vasa park, I was surrounded by three people who tried to steal my money.  I was scared and was saved only by the appearance of other people.
At a restaurant I observed how the gypsies tried to get money by cheating the foreigners i.e non Swedish speaking.  My anger had nothing to do with hatred against foreigners, but it was an expression of the anger I feel when I see people being used .
At the begining of a new course one is afraid of encountering problems one can not manage.  Thoughts revolve around failing the subject and the consequences it would have for the future.
While walking in town I noticed how the police harrassed a man who was under the influence of alcohol.  They terrified him with the thought of arrest by driving close behind him on a pedestrian street.  My disgust was directed at the gestures and the facial expressions of the policemen; they seemed to be enjoying themselves.
When my boyfriend revealed that he knew that I had discovered things of an important nature about him, I felt ashamed as I had not mentioned it earlier.
When I am dishonest to a friend to whom I am very close.  I feel guilty because I know that he gives a different version of the truth and I have not corrected these mistakes, and he is aware that I know that they are wrong.
When my father was ill and was waiting for the results of his tests.
When I got caught in the pouring rain last Thursday and did not have a raincoat on me.
When I failed an exam.
At a Sm÷rgasbord table, a man mixed differnet kinds of picked herrings with fruit salad.
When I had not prepared my contribution to the group as thoroughly as the other members, with the result that the overall result was poor.
When my father and I worked on the house just after he had recovered from illness, I was rather lazy.  This meant that he had to work hard and was not very well later.
When I found out that my father had lung cancer and they did not know how long he would live.
When a colleague asked me for help at work, despite the fact that he had more time to do it than I had.
When I did not get the salary increase that I had been expecting and understood how little one's work was appreciated.
When I was weeding the garden I found a lizard in my hand.
When I met a friend whom I had not seen for a long time and heard all about her troubles, I thought that I should have got in touch with her earlier.
I got angry at my mother for something trivial.  We were in a bad mood because my father was very ill and I knew that my mother really needed support.  I had reacted wrongly.
When I was stopped by plain clothes policemen because the car I was driving had overturned on the Avenue.  I had been driving too fast, and I was afraid when I was stopped, questionned and then toild to go.  The situation ended happily since there were no consequences.
The editor changed the heading of an article that I had written.  He considered the heading to be derogatory towards the person I had written about.
A close acquaintance of the family died of lung cancer.  Although it was expected, I still felt depressed.
When I saw a picture, in the Gothenburg Post, of a totally demolished car with two fatally injured passengers.  The car was so badly damaged that they couldn't get the bodies out at the scene of the accident.
One night I had a sexual intercourse with another man.  My sexual desire and my curiosity had made me jump into bed with him.  I am ashamed of myself now.
Due to laziness, I failed the term studies completely at University.  I also wanted, to some extent, to protest against my parents' expectations.
I met intoxicated people with dubious intentions in a back alley one Wednesday night.
On the T.V I saw a news feature on South Africa.  A policeman      attacked a group of black people with a whip.
The thought of having to read a boring book of 400 pages in English.
Grovelling people.
My inability to assert myself positively in a group.
I experience feelings of guilt because I do not study enough.
Observing someone in the cafeteria noisily gulping in his food, having extremely bad manners.
I guess I have often been ashamed after having talked badly of other people.
Having been angry and unpleasant towards my parents.
When my sister had the still born child, she was emotionally very deep down, and it took her a long time to recover.
We were starting a student project, and the teacher we talked to was very negative and not very helpful.
When my boyfriend openly let me down, preferring another girl.
I felt some disgust for my boyfriend for a time, after he had left me.
Can't think of any.
Before an accident, my aunt offered me the front seat of the car, next to the driver. I declined, she took that seat and was killed there when the car crashed.
I wandered by mistake into the safety zone of a shooting range, and was shot at.
Being treated unfairly.
Breaking up with a girl.
Nothing.
None.
Little contact with my father before he died.
When I was the first to arrive at the scene after an accident, and found that a close school friend had been killed.
I was accused of having done something, which I hadn't and got very angry.
When my grandmother died.
Not applicable.
I was alone at home, in bed reading a womens' magazine in which there were storiees of paranormal experiences.  My leg was itching and I stretched my hand to scratch and I felt another strange hand. (later I realized that it was the corner of the blanket)
I went to a lecture and once again it had been cancelled, this was the second time.  One had a negative attitude towards the lecturer.á
I heard that a former superior of mine had died, I was later at home home reading about it in the newspaper and I thought of our interaction and how it was no longer possible.  The limited scope of human life is sad.
In the tram there was a fat, sickly looking woman in front of me who was asking for directions in a thick voice.  When she got up to go a disgusting smell of urine came from her.  I felt that I would choke.
When we were at home, my husband and I, he made a remark about something I had done, in a perfectly friendly manner.  My deed had been unjust and I knew that my husband was right, therefore my sense of shame.
I made a remark to my sister concerning her attitude to men, the way she talked and I compared her to an acquaintance of mine.  Later, the same evening, my sister looked sad.  I felt guilty about her sadness.
I went to practice in Sweden during summer, and I was afraid that I would not do well.
In the holiday cottage of our association, two of my pals came to wake me up early one morning by bringing a radio played at the highest volume into my room - it was the morning service at its loudest.
My grandmother died suddenly last summer.
My superior at the summer job swindled customers as much as he could, and once put me in a difficult situation after which I could not but detest him.
Once I arrived two hours late to my work place (a bank) and I was still feeling feeble and tired.
Our association had Polish visitors and when they were going back by boat I did not go to see them off (I am the chairman of the association).
Our tutorial group was soon to be divided, and we got a list of names of freshmen, out of which five were to be in my group.  We read the names and then each group went its own way to a seminar room.  I wondered how I would cope with the new situation and if I would succeed as a group leader.
We were in a disco and the evening was not at all pleasant.  Despite my not knowing why, I was angry with my companion.  I let him feel my bad humour as I cannot hide my feelings.
My grandmother died, and my mother called me one sunday morning in the Autumn.  The way my mother told me about it, I hated her at that moment.  She sounded as if she had been waiting for the death of my grandmother.  I had lost a person close to me.  I felt guilty too as I had been bad to my grandmother of late.  I had not remained calm when she no longer understood everything so well.
At the underground station, a drunkard came to speak to me.  He tried to ask me something but I did not answer so he began to speak about me with his companion.  I detested this dirty growling man.
I was worried by a task related to my studies which had to be done in groups of two.  I was talking about it to my friends when I said something negative, in too abrupt a manner, concerning my work partner.  I did not quite mean what I said and I felt ashamed at having been mean enough to criticize him as he is also a friend of mine.
I had told my boyfriend that I did not want to go on with our relationship.  I knew that I was important to him but I wanted to be free.  I saw that this was difficult for him but I remained firm and did not change my mind.
[ I sometimes quarrel with my mother because she blames me, though I have not in any way been connected to some events.]
After hearing about the death of my grandfather.  First I could not believe it, but later I wept and felt the situation was hopeless.  I felt lonely and wanted to be consolated.
In the evening, while I was watching TV, my little brother came in and started eating food he had brought from the kitchen while I was trying to concentrate on the program.
My little brother was arrested by the police at the railway station after he had drunk some beer.
At my temporary job, I have to restrict  others' actions and make them obey me, and this very often gives me  a feeling of guilt.  I wish there could be some other way of acting.
I felt fear of the purest kind after a car accident.  The incident and images of horror kept coming back to my mind.  I wondered what could have happened to my sister, my friend and me, though nothing very serious actually happened.
Two boys whom I know were telling me, in an indecent manner, how they had teased a young and shy girl I know.  They had despised her conviction, scorned and touched her.  I got very angry and did not try to conceal it and gave it back to them.
My sweetheart left me, or rather we decided to break it off by mutual consent.  The consequences were - unrestrained weeping, feelings of loneliness, hopelessness and disconsolation.  I felt that I should find a friend, to talk to joyfully and to forget.
Out of sheer curiosity, I went to see a pornographic movie in Copenhagen.  The room was full of men, who panted and masturbated.  Very disgusting.
After having quarelled unnecessarily and without any reason, and having been stupidly cross in every way.
[ Do not know.]
Forced to fill in a questionnaire.
When my dog ran out on thin ice last spring.
When my tennis match was interrupted because a kid cycled right into the court.
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
Risk of being involved in a fight after a party.
I had a very heavy work load and two colleagues, whom I have nothing against, disturbed me by "terror ringing", i.e continously interrupting me by telephoning.
After an exam which I failed.
[ Normally I do not feel disgusted.]
When I overtook a car on the mainroad, misjudging the distance of an oncoming car and this resulted in tooting and flashing from the other driver (we could have collided), and I had an acquaintance in the car with me.
I saw a neighbour, from the same appartment block as me, lying    on the road.  He could have been injured or ill.  I kept 20 metres away and did not go to help him.
When I was cycling to school, I nearly got knocked down by a car which (overtook me too closely) did not give me any swerving space.
When I was deputy manager during the Summer, certain deputies took liberties, more than what was normal.
When I realized that my girlfriend, whom I like, and I were going to separate.
Dog dirt which thaws in the spring.
When I forgot my mother's birthday.
[ Can not think of anything just now.]
Was nearly knocked down by a car.
I reached the bus stop and realized that I had forgotten my bus pass.
My current work load is too much.  The feeling comes back from time to time.
[ Can not think of any situation.]
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
When someone close to me is travelling by car and is delayed.
When someone does something wrong which affects me negatively.
When I think about my parents getting old.
[ Can not remember.]
[ No response.]
I do not have the time for other people's problems.  My mother-in-law is sometimes depressed and I do not have the time, the desire or the strength to help.
I was driving and a deer suddenly appeared in front of the car when there was a lot of traffic behind me.
I saw a report on T.V news on apartheid in South Africa.
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
When I nearly collided with another car.
The time when someone let the air out of the tyres of my cycle.
When I read a lot and did not remember anything.
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
The time that I had to put my dog to sleep.
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
Long illness.
When I was travelling by tram, I tripped and fell against the door.  I thought that I was going to fall out.
When I missed the tram after having run for it.
The inability to read a book at college.
If a guy one is not interested in makes advances.
I drink wine too often.
I do not study enough as I do not understand it properly.
I had been watching a triller a dark night in the country and I had to go the outside toilet on my own.
When I am accused of something I have not done, I get unbelievably angry.
When I began to read a thick book, which I had a limited time to read.  Also when I have a lot of work to do and I cannot keep up.
Someone vomited on the street.
I can not think of any incident when I have felt very ashamed.  There are small incidents that I am ashamed of, for instance, not sending money to the children in Ethiopia.
I had lunch with my ex-boyfriend and did not mention it to my fiancee.  I felt guilty despite the fact that I felt nothing for my ex-boyfriend.
Someone attacked me with a knife.
Someone drove into my car and then denied that it had happened.
When I was told that my friend's wife had cancer.
When I saw a dog which had been knocked down by a car.
When I boxed my child's ears.
When I was fined for speeding.
I was going home by car late one night when it was cold, dark and windy.  I became rather panicky on the way to my house.
Quarrel in the family.
When I am alone in a room with no contact with anyone - loneliness drains me.
When I was on holiday someone vomited in front of me.
Emptied a bucket of water in a hospital.
When I feigned sick leave from work.
I was driving very fast on a small road and I met an oncoming car in a right handed bend.  The other driver was on his own side of the road and I had to skid out of it to avoid a collision.  It was dark.
My car had been towed away by the traffic police because it had been wrongly parked.  However the sign had been put up only after I had already parked.
After an operation I had to stay in bed for a long time.
I was forced to stay in the canteen and eat the food that I had not asked for but got it anyway.
When I did not buy what I had promised to.
By mistake I took a book from the library which was not supposed to be loaned out.
My 2 year old daughter disappeared in a moment of inattention; I was responsible for her.
A colleague asked me for some advice and as he did not have enough confidence in me he asked a third person.
I wanted to be pregnant and did not succeed, so I was depressed    at every menstruation.
In a warm bus full of people, someone vomited and the whole bus stank.
I complained about a colleague's behaviour as she goes back on her word, is often absent and is irresponsible.  I found out that she was an alcoholic and was trying to fight againt her addiction.
I spoke to my mother on the phone.  She had skin cancer and was waiting to be operated.  I forgot to ask her the date of the operation and just before finishing our conversation she gave me the date in passing.
When I was cycling through the park late one night, two people jumped out of the woods and tried to stop me.  There were shouting something at the same time.
When close relatives tried to dissuade me from studying Psychology because of its low status.
I had a long discussion on politics with an acquaintance.  He was more knowledgeable than me and I failed to explain my point of view and was misunderstood so I felt depressed and left.
When I read a newspaper article on a young girl who had been raped and assaulted one night by several men when she was unconscious.
My mother revealed personal details about me and the negative aspects of my character to other people when I was present but unable to defend myself.
I was unfaithful to my partner once when he was working abroad for a long period.
When I saw a large spider crawling up the wall.
My employer took too many aspirins for a bad back and also drank an enormous amount of spirit.  This was dangerous  and he did not understand that he had done anything wrong.
When I left New York, and all my family and my friends behind me.
When I slept with a guy because my best friend wanted me to.  He had never had intercourse with anyone and had a terrible complex about it.
When I dated a close girlfriend's boyfriend a few times. He told me that it was over between them and I accepted it.  When she found out she finished our friendship.
When I broke off with my boyfriend after three years.  It was quite unexpected for him and there was no particular reason for the break up, such as someone else.
When one meets new people with whom one is forced to collaborate with.
The sports fishermen who catch gulls instead of fish with their hooks.   It is often a mistake but it makes me angry.
I feel sad about an event I can not influence.
When a member of the family complains about the food that is served, it disgusts me.
[ Cannot recall any incident when I felt shame.]
I have chosen to put my son in a private school were the examination marks are low.  Every time that he gives me his term results I am left with a sense of guilt.
When I was in a little fishing boat and we ran into hard weather in the open sea.
When I found out that the guy I was dating at a particular time had a steady relationship going on with someone else for a long time.
I felt sad and depressed when I heard that our cat had died.
When I was working as a nurse in a mental hospital, a patient ate up the contents of another patient's spitoon.
At primary school, when I vomited in front of others in the middle  of a lesson.
I arrived an hour late for an important meeting ( I had misunderstood the time).
When my son has a pain in his leg (for no apparent reason).
When, after a week at school, a teacher sent a note home saying that my son was inattentive and unable to do his lessons.
When I thought that it was going to be impossible for me to start studying (due to wrong information from the student advisor).
At a certain person's lack of cleanliness, at home and personally.
When I made the same mistake that I had accused someone else of, and this was obvious to a third pereson.
When I lost something that was valuable to my sister.
When I nearly drowned in icy water wearing ice skates.  It was difficult to get out.
When I was pointed out as a problem child in primary school and my mother took the teacher's point of view.
When I was accused of neglecting work for the wrong reasons.
My parents attitude towards each other when they should become reconciled, despite my father's long-time addiction.
When I was caught stealing money from my father.
I stole a coconut cake from a reception table and when I put in my mouth I realized that the host was watching me.
When I was reprimanded by the manager of the hotel where I worked during Autumn 1984.
When my parents drove me to a nearby place and went home immediately instead of waiting a few hours.  They could have easily waited.
When my ex-girlfriend and I discovered that there was a certain risk of her being pregnant.
When I was about to clean the draining board and saw it looked underneath the sink (I live in a students hostel).
When my mother caught me masturbating.
As the only person in my family into academics, I ought to have looked after my younger (and only) sister better, with respect to her education and life experiences.
Slept in a chapel and in the middle of the night I realized that there was someeone else in the chapel.  I never discovered who it was and why he was there.
When we were in high school a few guys sometimes provoked a friend of mine.  They called her a pig and then grunted.  This irritated most of the girls.  Once, one of the girls got angry at my friend and said something nasty and this made me terribly angry.
I talked to my boyfriend on the phone when I was in high spirits and had a lot to tell him.  I had been looking forward to this conversation and he did not listen to me to the extent that I had anticipated.
A mother who shouts at her child for nothing.
When I complained to my mother about how untidy the kitchen loooked, she boxed my ears ( this had never happened before).
As I could not be home before midnight I called home at 11.30 and asked them to leave the door open so that I could get in.  I actually woke up the whole family by calling them so late.  My mother could not go back to sleep, besides she had a conference   the next day and really needed to sleep.
When I was cycling past a parked car someone opened the door and nearly pushed me off my bike and into the traffic.
When my boyfriend sat up half the night playing computer games with a friend.
When I had to leave my mother and my sister after a week's visit.
When I saw a big spider from very close.
When I asked a friend to return the money that I had loaned her and then remembered that she had repayed me in several ways.
When one of my parents insinuates something about the other (they are divorced).
On the way down a ski slope which was difficult and steep.
When my mother interfered in my life.
When I was left alone one week-end without being prepared for it.
The first time that I saw a surgeon cut off a leg and put it in a black rubbish bag.
When I forgot about a meeting at work.
When I demand too much from my friends.
When I was nearly attackad by a man who had been chasing me.
When my father asked me if I was a communist, at the same time he made it clear that I should no longer see myself as his daughter.
When I applied for a job which I thought I had a good chance of getting, I was not even granted an interview and did not get the job.
T.V features showing the violation of defenceless people.
When I as a child of 9 or 10 I was playing doctor with the neighbours boys their mother caught us.
When my husband talked about the restrictions he will have to accept in his life to make our marriage work.  I felt that it was directed at me as it was me who had demanded the changes.  We were with a marriage counsellor then.
Vertigo - standing on a ladder and painting the house.
When my boss enrolled in a course to satisfy his own ends - to trample on his associates.  I have the misfortune to have one of my superiors in my course.
When I argue with my mother about the way she treats her two children differently.
Spit and vomit.
Spots on the seat covers of my husband's car.
Not speaking to my sister-in-law due to lack of interest in a relationship on my side.
I was within a hair's breadth of knocking down a drunkard who suddenly ran into the street.  The fear came later when I     realized what could have happened.
When my friend, as usual, forgot the tickets at home for a performance.  We missed it.
The elections of 1982 and 1985.  The thought of what a social democrat and communist majority could achieve, especially "worker share" funds and its extension.
A study visit to a chicken factory : the butchery, the smell, the environment and the noise.
Confession to my parents about my involvement in a moped theft.
[ No answer as I see very little difference between shame and guilt.  Therefore see answer for "shame".]
I was alone in a cottage I often stay in.  I was woken up by a rustling sound in the middle of the night.
When I tried to explain to a plumber, face to face, that the toilet was broken and he did not believe it (it had been mended ten times).
When the result of a project work was treated nonchalantly intead of being criticized by the teacher.
When programmes on violence or pornography are shown on T.V.
When I talked maliciously about a colleague at work to someone else.  Immediately afterwards I felt ashamed.
When I decided to take a week s holiday without consulting the family first.
When we could not land our plane and we knew that the fuel was running out.  Bad weather had already frightened us.
When I read about Reagan's tactical decision concerning the South African boycott.
When my half brother became seriously ill with cancer and died later.
A film were a woman was attacked and raped.  One did not see the worst but it had the desired effect - very strong.
I made a comment and it was interpreted completely differently from what I had meant.  When I said it I realized how my mother had understood it.
I had promised to visit my girlfriend but for different reasons could not make it.  I rang up later to tell her that I could not come.
I had the window open and the door was shut so that the kitten would not go out.  My partner came in and started talking about something and I forgot about the window and suddenly I saw the kitten hanging from the window frame. I was rigid with fright till I got hold of her.
Some noisy guests arrived at the hotel.  I had been slightly irritated earlier.  At night when I was trying to sleep they were having a party so I went and yelled at them.  I wanted to sleep as I had to get up early the next day.
When I was told that I had not been successful in getting the job I had been expecting.  I was sure that I was sufficiently qualified.
When my cat vomited and a worm came out which was still alive.  I was forced to wipe it up.
When I was a child it was found out that I had taken off my clothes outdoors.  It was summer and my friend and I were out in the woods.  It had felt exciting at that time.  My parents discovered that my trousers were back to front and I felt ashamed.
When I stole money from my mother and she asked me later if I was responsible.  I never admitted it.
When my relationship with my family is very poor I often fear being excluded from the group, a fear which is stronger in situations when an argument is on hand.
Recently when my sister, who is four years younger than me and very spoiled, shouted at my mother for no apparent reason .  The heart-broken expression on my mother's face made me feel very angry.
When I watched the T.V programme called "The living planet" and saw the far reaching environmental destruction caused by man.
Disgust is a feeling that I have never experienced with peoplie but , on the other hand, it has been with repulsive animals, i;e snakes on T.V.
When relatives have acted strangely, and unfriendly towards me.
When ,due to hunger and tiredness, I became generally irritated with my fiancee and made cutting remarks which really hurt him.  Later I realized that my unfounded irritation had hurt the person I love most on earth.
A rainy day, I was cycling downhill and a car door suddenly opened and while trying to avoid it the back wheels of my bike got caught in the tram tracks.  I somersaulted but had no injuries.
On the way home from Marstrand I was driving behind my father's car.  Another car tried to push in front of my father and he was forced to swerve and he thus collided the car with a pillar.  The other car drove off without even seeing what had happened.
My girlfriend who had spent 6 months abroad broke off our relationship by letter.
At the police centre a man between 40-50 was brought in.  He was very drunk and in all likelihood had not slept indoors for a long time and had relieved himself in his trousers.
A customer at the shop where I worked came in and asked if the goods that he had ordered had arrived.  I had totally forgotten about this order and I tried to offer weak excuses.
I was 4-5 years old when I hid the bicycle keys of a not very good friend.  After a few hours I pretended that I had found it.
Last Summer I was walking along the beach in a bikini and an awful man came cycling after me.  He was shouting and I ran as fast as my legs could carry me.
In a course I thought that I deserved good marks but I only got ordinary marks with no justification as to why I was given these marks.
When I crashed my car and it had to be scrapped then.  It was my fault and I feel depressed as I miss the car.
I had some sort of a stomach virus last week and  I vomited in college in the morning, then in the cake shop, three times during the trip home and again when I got home.
When I was an evening school teacher it was my job to make the coffee but I was not able to get the coffee ready on time and I thus arrived half an hour late to the class.  On top of this the coffee was undrinkable.
Many years ago a friend wanted me to with her to southern Europe and I preferred to travel alone.  I felt guilty because I wanted to go on my own.
When I was convinced that someonne had broken into my flat and I woke up and heard sounds that frightened me.
When it became clear that a man had used many people sexually and psychologically, despite the fact that many people looked up to him.  I understood that one could not trust him and I was forced to hide this for a while.
When I feel helpless after having tried to help someone without any result.
When I think now about the way my father behaved when filing a divorce.
When as an 8 year old, I wet myself in school.
When as a 7 year old, I stole money from my mother.
Every time I meet a certain dog that has once bitten me.
When after a lot of provocation my child threw a plate on the floor.
When I realized that I could not communicate properly with my closest friend.
When I tried to explain to my child as to why there were magazines wiith naked girls on them at the kiosk.
When I stole a packet of cigarettes from a neighbour  and the next day I owned up and returned it.
When I was forced to decline the invitation to my mother's 70th birthday because of my work committments in another area.
A late Saturday night I found myself locked in the central underground station of Stockholm with a group of 50 hard rockers who were drunk and equipped with various kinds of chains, etc.
When I was forced to call the telephone company about a bill concerning a disconnected phone belonging to my landlord.  The bill was four months overdue and in the meanwhile he had been using my phone, he seemed to have no intention of having his own phone reconnected.
Whenever I read or think about the way people treat animals and nature.
When I saw a T.V programme on animals in the film world (mistreated and used).
When I was 13 years old I wrote passionate love letters to my boyfriend and I later found out that his sister had read them.
When I "hated" one of mmy flatmates who was nice to me.
A four year girl ran away from her father straight in front of my car.  I was forced to use the emergency brakes.
[ After an examine I had been satisfied with.]
When a colleague failed to contact me at the arranged time.
When I read racist slogans on the walls.
About Sweden's arms exports.
Not doing something I had promised.
When my husband and I spent a night by ourselves in a house which was in an area on the outskirts of a large town with which we were  not familiar.  We  heard strange noises outside the house and the  house had glass walls so the whole thing was even more frightening.
Jealous of my husband's old girlfriend.  We met her with her husband and there was a lot of reminiscing.
When my daughter had problems with her friends and I could see her predicament from the window.  She was given a the cold shoulder.
When I was an auxiliary nurse at the hospital and I had to change the nappies, for the first time, of a very old and sick woman.
When friends found out that I had been lying about where I had been on a particular occasion.
When my middle child became very difficult to handle after the birth of his baby brother and I did not have any patience with him.
Before a hospital visit prior to a D&C under anasthesia for an expected miscarriage.
Exchange of points of view with my sister on a family matter.
Treatment to become pregnant with a negative result.
When I woke up one morning and went to the kitchen I discovered that our dog had diarrhoea.  There were small "piles" all over the floor and the smell was choking.
When I was young, about 6 or 7, I did not make it to the toilet on time.  I hid the dirty trousers in the cellar as I feared itbeing discovered by my parents.
At work a boy was injured because of my lack of supervision.
During labour when the foetal sounds became faint and there was a big alert for a forceps delivery.
At a cash desk where I had gone to buy 16 rolls of kitchen paper at a reduced price.  After queuing with screaming children; it turned out that I had taken two 8 roll packets instead of the one 16 roll packet to which the rebate applied.  The assistant said "You will have to get it another time."
When I first heard that Tage Dannielsson had died.
The lift of Stockholm central station stank of vomit and urine.
On the train a drunk person touched my baby and I reacted very disapprovingly.  I felt ashamed later as the person had not been aggressive though he could have been.
I get irritated with my son when he screams or is sick all over his clean clothes.
A gang of screaming and drunk youths "captured" a tram.
An unjust refree decision at a sports event when I was the team leader.
When my girlfriend left me.
I was dominated by a certain person and even though I knew it I could not change my own reactions.
When I was given detention at secondary school.
When I splashed a child by not slowing down while driving through a puddle of water.
I was teaching someone to drive and when we were about to crash I was scared.
A drummer who had borrowed my drums destroyed both the drumskin and the sticks.  He did not repair them nor did he tell me about it.
When my dad gives priority to my kid brother's band and his other activities.  We both play in different bands and rehearse in my parents garage.
A friend unjustly put the blame on me to relieve his conscience and also spread lies for the same purpose.
My behaviour at a recent party.  I passed out early, luckily.
When I was face to face with my deceived friend after sleeping with his wife.
When I missed crashing, by a hair's breadth, into a man who came out 20 metres ahead of me when I was driving at 110km/h.
When I told off a computer teacher who did not want to teach me beacause of prejudice.
When I could not do anything because of a bad back.
When I discovered that the house we had hired in Tonga was full of cockroaches.
When I excreted on the mat instead of the potty.
When I pulled a chair from under someone at kindergarten and he hit his head.
When the car I was driving skidded on an icy road and landed in   a ditch with one side against a rock.
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
When a guy chased me when I was out jogging.
[ No response.]
[ No reponse.]
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
When the morning newspaper has not arrived.
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
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[ No response.]
A reoccurring fear that something will happen to my relatives.
When I argue with my boyfriend, I feel as though he feels superior to me.
When I failed an exam last Summer.  I had worked very hard for it and I was very disappointed thinking that it was hopeless to continue at college.  I did overreact.
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
When I argue with my sister.  It feels sometimes that I have the upper hand and I use it.  I often argue better and this makes her terribly angry.
When I have to leave the baby in the carriage and go shopping, I fear that something will happen to the baby.
When during Winter the water pipes froze and we did not have any water for two days.
I did not quite succeed in breast feeding my baby.
The smell of garlic in rush-hour bus.
I fell on the ground while crossing the street.  My cap covered my eyes and I felt quite "difficult".
I have a two-month old baby.  When I came here, to the university, to attend lectures, I had to leave the baby with his father.  I felt guilty.
We were driving a car of a friend of mine when we turned in the wrong direction towards an unknown district, and nearly drove down a precipice.
When our religion teacher presented shocking sectarian thoughts and doom's day as official teaching.
My grandfather died, when I was an exchange student in the USA.
I happened to see the video-tape movie "This is America - Part one" at my friend's place.
I insulted a couple of good friends of mine and even tried to hit them when I was drunk.  The next day, I was ashamed of course.
I stole carrots and got caught.  I had to apologize to the owner.
I was afraid of moving away from home and moving to Helsinki for my studies.
In the student kitchen that we share, somebody drank from my juice pot (one litre) so that I only got one glass out of the whole pot.
My father gave money to my brother but not to me.
During the week-end at home, my mother fries greasy and unhealthy meat dishes which make me feel sick.
I was wearing slippery shoes and I tumbled down in a place where there were many people walking by.
I ate a Runeberg's cake, though I knew that I would immediately put on a kilo.
At about nine p.m., I went home by bike on a dark cycle-track; because of lack of time I had to take the short-cut.
Once I had to go home on foot at 5 a.m. I had to pass through a forest and I was going alone.
I missed the train and had to wait for the next for two hours. For this reason I missed an appointment which had been very important for me.
When my grandmother died. I had lived with her for ten years.
When I went home by train from Sicilia, I was molested by a man.
I lied to someone and some time later this person found out that I had not told him the truth.
I had to decline an appointment which had been very important for the other person. For this reason we even got into trouble.
A friend's father had died, I was to come and see this friend although I did not know his family.
I was watching TV with a friend. After the first film I wanted to watch another film on the same channel. My friend switched over to the other cannel without asking me what I wanted.
My boy-friend an I seperated on his initiative.
A friend's boy-friend treated her very badly, let her serve him, provoked her and just utilized her.
I had lied to a person because I had thought that I could not tell him the truth. When he found out he was not angry but understanding. We talked the whole thing over.
I had told a person unpleasant things in a bad manner. He was very depressed and caused an accident.
After having slept for a short time I woke up - I had the feeling of someone standing beside me and was very frightened. I had to turn on the light turn on the light for several minutes before I was able to get to sleep again.
I moved to a flat. A friend who had lived there before, had left the flat in a terrible mess. I was very angry about that sloppiness and impudence.
My father had a complicated operation. A long time before and also a long time after that, we did not know how he would get over it. During all that time I felt very sad.
It was in a tramway-carriage: A stranger insulted a girl just because she blew her nose. I detested his behaviour.
Quite recently I realized that I had had some erroneous views about life. For instance, I had always lived for other people, had forgotten my own person and suppressed my own feelings. I was ashamed because I had not been concious of that until I had a conversation about it with a person.
I had a quarrel with near persons. I said many ill-considered things and I regretted it when it was to late.
I was riding with a friend in his car. At a speed of 120 km/h on the snow-covered motorway I would have liked to get out.
Meeting a male friend with whose wife I was having an affair.
Climbing a mountain to see a view, towards the top we suddenly came across a ledge with a nearly sheer drop on either side, which I had to cross.
A friend suggested in a round-about way that the reason we were late for something was because of me, and that I'm often late. I know this was partly true, but felt it unjustified that particular time and I felt I couldn't do  anything about it anyway (i.e. being late).
Talking to a very good friend who had just had a very bad experience which was changing his whole way of looking at life etc.
I came across a group of people with the same basic ideas/beliefs who were all fighting and going against what they would say was good.
I was working in a job in which I could not work quickly enough, and was told that my work was not up to standard.
I had wasted some time instead of doing something I needed to do to give to a friend. (Also in the time I wasted I had done some things I did not consider morally right).
When my brother was very late in arriving home from work.
During a fight with my best friend.
When my dog died.
During a movie in which I saw the effect of white settlers in Africa.
When I got a bad result for one of my assignments.
Leaving a friend of mine alone at a dance - I felt I should have kept her company.
Fear - paralysing - that I would not be accepted by the God who I believed to be there because I was "morally bankrupt" (before becoming a Christian and realising that that was why Christ came to free us from sin and to forgive us).
At my father's treatment of my mother, at his disregard for her, and not being committed to her.
At a lack of love of my father for my mum, sadness for him more than anyone else because he does not realise how much love and happiness there could be between them, and is, and how much he is damaging himself apart from mum.
At what I was capable of of selfishly using others for sexual encounters, while I held a vision of having a deepening above-board (you know, "girl next door") devotion to a girl in my head. My drives and actions did not match this so consequently I felt disgusted at my failure.
At using other people, because of sexual experience that was using another to the detriment of both. Anxiety that I may have affected another for the worst.
For the above: guilt at not living up to my own moral expectation, guilt for not being the type of person my patents wanted, guilt for just about bloody everything, just realising that I have failed drastically in my own eyes.
I was rock-climbing and absailing & felt OK, but suddenly as I was going over the cliff I was hit by fear - I couldn't go on absailing down the cliff and had to be actually hauled back up it.
I told my boy friend not to park in a certain place because the car would ger towed away - he didn't listen and it was towed away. At that stage, our finances were below the poverty line & it cost us $10.00 - all the money we had to get us through that week (including rent).
My sister won a scholarship to Norway and it was particularly as she walked across the tarmac to get on the plane and she looked back at us.
I work part-time as a shop-assistant and a customer spoke to me very loudly about an Indian man & white woman with children - how horrible that was and would I want to have little dark children.
My mother told my uncle who is a Roman Catholic Priest (Redemptist Father) that I had been living in a de-facto relationship for three years. He was very, very angry at me.
I "snapped" very abruptly at my mother when she said something silly and stupid, (in front of other people) she looked so defenceless & hurt & told them that I'm always doing that.
One afternoon, helping at home on the property, I was (mustering) getting in cattle and a bull turned and came for me.
Getting a terrible exam mark, which I couldn't understand the reason for, and trying to see a lecturer or tutor, but being given the runaround.
Watching an old lady running up the street to catch her bus and miss it, it reminded me of my own mother and how dreadful it would be to be her in the same situation.
Coming home one night - my sister was home, and had been drinking heavily and started picking arguments.
When I am travelling by car and have to meet an oncoming car while overtaking.
When a close relative is treated badly.
When a close friend died.
When I saw all the starving people in Ethiopia on T.V.  It felt awful to see such suffering.
[ No response.]
When a mistake occurred at work which I was not responsible for.  This was disclosed later.
Last Summer in Italy I was attacked by a dog.It was terrible to feel that untidy dirty dog against my naked skin.
When my father's new fiancee treats me like a child.  She does not trust me and constantly misunderstands me.  I get particularly angry when she says nasty things about my boyfriend with whom she works.
When the guy I was in love with told me that he had met someone else and that we would not meet again for a year.  Although we did not have a steady relatioship, we were having an affair.
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
When I think of death - not my own but that of my parents, brothers and sisters.
My parents did not approve my choice of a boyfriend (now an ex-boyfriend).  He happened to be 13 years older than me and he was considered completely unsuitable for me.  IDIOT.
[ No response.]
When my uncle comes (3 times a year) for the traditional Christmas dinner with my grandparents and other relatives and is very drunk.
[ No response.]
I was living at home during the Summer vacations and towards the end decided to take some of my clothes and other belongings to the appartment in Guttenburg.  When I had finished I went to my ex-boyfriend's (relationship uncertain) home and stayed there till 5 A.M.  I had to leave then as my parents needed the car for work in the morning.  My parents do not like my boyfriend.
When my mother's heart nearly stopped.
There was a sofa in my flat which belonged to the old tenants who were acquaintances.  It should have been picked up a year ago but they had postponed it.  Eventually they decided on one date and I stayed at home despite the fact that I had other things to do.  They did not come, nor did they call and they still have not got in touch with me.
When my ex-boyfriend and I separated.
Very intoxicated men who incite each other to fight.   I met a vile smelling man on the tram who got closer and closer to me till I got up, then he got angry.
[ Do not remember any situation of that kind.]
When my nephew asked me to tell him a story and I simply did not have the energy or the will.  When I saw his disappointment I was terribly guilty and read a story to him after all.
Earlier, I was afraid of speaking in front of a crowd of people.
A girl I was with went off with another guy.
At set-backs.
I worked in a harbour and emptied latrine containers from the back of the lorries.
The day after the night I drank too much at a party.
[ Can not think of anything.]
I woke up in the middle of the night as I had jumped and shouted with fear.  I thought that someone's cold hand or something similar had touched my hand.  I crept down under the covers and went back to sleep.
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
When I was a young teenager (14)  my brother-in-law to be had made heavy advances to me.  I did not understand very well what it was all about but I reacted strongly and the feelings are still there.
[ No response.]
I broke off with my partner as I wanted him as a friend and not as a lover.  He reacted very violently and I felt guilty as I had made him so desperately unhappy.
I was nearly knocked down while I was cycling.
My father and I had an argument because I do not help enough at home.
[ No response.]
I had intercourse with someone and then I realized that what I had done was wrong and it disgusted me.
[ Do not know.]
I said nasty things which I did not mean to a friend.
Disappointment over a friend.
Quarrelled with my younger brother.
When I woke up after a nightmare.
Helping older people on the toilet.
[ Can not think of anything.]
Squeezed the puppy in the door.
Motor failure on a boat outside Gottenburg when we were in heavy  seas and the wind was strong.  As we could not steer the boat we drifted towards the rocks.  We did not succeed in attracting the attention of any passerby until 4 hours had elapsed.
A lady I live with had not bothered to clean up before she went   on holiday (I live in a collective).
When I heard that a good friend had committed suicide.
I was present when they found a shop-keeper dead in his shop.  He had been shot with a shotgun at close range.
[ I do not remember when I last felf ashamed.  I do not usually feel ashamed of what I do.]
My mother accused me of not visiting her enough when she was in hospital for an eye operation.
When I was 7-8 years old, I woke up one night and found myself alone at home.  My mother had gone out to buy cigarattes from a machine.
[ No response.]
When I found out that I had failed to pass my exams during the term by one point.  The fact that exactly the same thing had happened last term did not help.
When I was touring Asia with my present football team, I saw old Europeans with young asiatic prostitutes.
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
After mischieviously ringing on the chemist's trade-entrance doorbell and getting caught by him.
The sight of a man who ran amok (fighting) at a dance.
When out of work.
With my mouth full of bun, I drank directly from a packet of milk which turned out to be weeks old (completely separated).  It took a while for the milk to seep through the bun.
[ No response.]
A boy who shot dead a squirrel.
When I was involved in a car accident last November, after the first fall of snow.  I lost control of the car and it spun round and landed on the opposite side of the road, on the hard shoulder.  It was stopped by a pole on top of a bank sloping down to a stream.
With the job appointments committee when the headmaster in charge explained that a male teacher was more suitable for the particular post.  I had more years of service than the male teacher, but this was not taken into consideration.  I could have been given a less attractive job if things had gone the way the headmaster wanted.
A colleague's 17 year old daughter is seriously ill with cancer and has only a year to live.  I  heard about it 6 weeks ago.
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
Having quarreled with a boyfriend, he threatened to leave me.
Someone didn't show up at a meeting in spite of having agreed to come.
When I understood that my marriage was falling apart, and we decided to be legally separated.
At an anti-pornography meeting, when samples from films and magazines were shown.
Comments from other children on my alcoholic father
Having failed to help with the 5th of March arrangements (Women's Day), although I had previously promised to take part in the work.
After my car accident, when I woke up in a heap of stones.
When I tried to put up a tent some years ago, I was teased and hindered by my cousin.
When my grandfather died.
NO RESPONSE.
Hit a dog with my car, and didn't stop.
Car accident. I let a 16-year old, incompetent parson take the wheel and I feel very guilty about what happened even though I suffered the worst injuries.
My father has a chronic desease. In the autumn of 1983 he had a very strong fit or seizure.
A drunken friend of mine was beating up another friend, who was also drunk.
When I didn't get a certain job at Lillehammer which I wanted very much.
My boss on the job failed to keep his promise about something he knew was extremely important to me.
An exam where questions about very specific knowledge were asked.
I hit my little sisiter on the head with a stone while we were fighting.
A "near-accident" in a car, driving too fast on an icy road.
My mother and her friends were speaking badly about my father when they were separated, and my brothers and sisters and myself were allowed to listen.
Being bored in school, not being able to marry and have children.
When my mother's new husband treated her and my brothers and sisters badly.
Stealing from my mother's purse when I was a little boy.
NO RESPONSE.
I was hunting, and was lost in the fog in the mountains.
I was accused of a misdemeanour, unjustly.
When my girlfriend left me.
Slaughtering of animals.
I entered the wrong room, and got into a bed where someone already was sleeping.
I failed to show up at an agreed date.
Climbing a mountain, I got stuck and realized I could get neither up nor down.
Meeting generally dominating persons in social occasions.
Discovering that Lillehammer provided no musical environment that suits my taste, even though I had been told so.
Can't describe any disgust situation.
When the cast general election resulted in Norway getting a conservative government.
A friend of mine shot himself through the head after having told me and others that he would do so.
When I almost ran over a small boy who suddenly was in front of my car.
When my father phoned me to come home from my vacation, since he no longer had the time to look after my garden and animals.
When I was told that a good friend was seriously ill.
When I learned that a relative had been spreading rumours about me.
I was talking badly about a person to some friends, and discovered that his daughter was listening.
When my ex-husband left our house, and the children cried because he was not coming back.
After having watched a crime show on the TV, I was about to take the dog for a walk. Then, suddenly, there was a man on the porch... (We live some distance away from other people).
When my car suddenly broke down !
When an earlier friend was spreading negative rumours about me.
There is a certain person, whom I only have seen. He makes me cringe, feel disgust.
Cheating to get the best grade on a test in 7th grade.
A kitten had wandered into our office, and I was told to take it back across the street. When I crossed back, the kitten followed me and was run over and killed by a car.
After seeing a terror movie at the cinema, I was so scared that I couldn't even drive the car into the garage. I often thought about the film afterwards, hoping such things couldn't exist in the "real world".
Angry with my brother, who was making fun of me, teasing me.
When my gradmother died.
I overreacted towards my mother and felt ashamed afterwards.
When my parents work very hard and get tired - while I go to school and study instead of helping them. I feel that I'm letting them down, disappointing them.
I lost my way on a trip in the mountains.
Being subject to unfair treatment in a working group, someone "bending the rules" was protected by the boss. This resulted in more work for the others.
The death of a close friend.
Was confronted with a person having negative thoughts of other people because of their social status, beliefs, color and outlook on life (perspective).
Feeling inadequate in a group situation, being unable to convey my own thoughts and feelings.
I failed to complete a working task within the agreed time.
Before getting back the results of a test in school, when I had worked very hard and was worried about not succeeding.
One of my best friends accused me of giving up to early on problems. It was only a casual remark on her side, but I was angry and hurt.
Realizing that school will soon be over, and we will all go different ways, perhaps never meeting again our friends from this year.
In a public swimming hall I saw a very aggressive man who practically attacked the children who got in his way when he was swimming.
I was making very strong statements about infidelity in couples. Then I discovered that one of my best friends, who had just been through a very sad case of mutual infidelity, was listening.
I had planned a trip to the South during Easter, together with a friend. She was very sorry when I changed my mind and decided not to go after all.
One dark night with no street lights, a car was obviously following me.
I was subject to false accusations, and got very angry.
I was told by a good friend that we couldn't be friends any more because of his relationship with another girl.
This is difficult, since I don't remember feeling disgust towards anyone.
If I don't go to lectures, I often feel ashamed.
I was very angry with a girlfriend for interferring a little too much with my personal affairs. I told her so rather strongly and she started crying.
I was beaten up at a private New Year's party once, through no fault of mine.
I felt unfairly treated at an airport, being told to use a different counter (for domestic traffic only).
When my grandmother died.
The murder of two girls on a school trip to Berlin (and sexual crimes generally) a couple of years ago.
When taking part in the mobbing of one of my best friends in primary school.
When I secretly tried smoking for the first time, being 12 years old.
Not applicable to myself.
When students in our working group showed no responsibility or interest in our work.
A very close friend left me.
Some people were unfairly treated, because of their nationality/colour.
Taking part in the mobbing of some girls in my class in primary school.
Not applicable to myself.
A letter from my boyfriend began in such a way that I thought he was going to end our relationship. I was afraid of reading the rest.
My nephew is a deaf and also "hyperactive" boy. I had been responsible for looking after him for a full day, and was very tired. Then he suddenly grabbed a knife and stabbed me in the leg. I got so angry that I didn't feel any pain.
A woman I know is slowly dying from cancer. Observing this process makes me sad.
Close friends talking badly of other friends.
My father died after two very painful weeks in bed. I felt relieved, and was ashamed of that.
We had a day off from school. Instead of helping my mother with her job, I stayed in bed all day.
Fearing the use of power or reprimands when I belong to the minority.
A close friend first said he accepted an agreement, but later used that agreement as a reason for attacking me.
When realizing that my girlfriend and myself in fact had started the process of breaking up.
Political and military trnsgressions around the world, generally speaking. This cannot be described through this questionaire.
Was accused of having hidden intentions in a situation when I believed I was acting honestly and fairly.
When my aunt took her own life, I felt guity for not understanding that she needed support.
Doesn't apply.
When I tried to breake it up with my boyfriend, and he refused to let me go.
Having to go back home form the U.S. after having been there for ten weeks to visit my brother and his family.
Doesn't apply.
Doesn't apply.
I dated another boy several times, when I was still "going with" my former boyfriend. This made me feel a little bit guilty towards my friend.
Falling off a cliff in the mountains.
Having a fight with a class mate.
When the gear broke on my car.
Can't remember having had this feeling.
Can't remember that feeling.
I forgot to lock the outside door at my Land Lady's place.
Going home alone through the forest after a girl guide (scout ?) meeting.
I get angry when people disbelieve me or misunderstand me.
At the death of a close relative.
Having been unjustly punished, I feel disgust towards the person responsible.
Being caught in changing the truth (lying).
Doing something wrong at home, and then letting my (normally) more rampant brother take the blame.
Climbing a mountain where the rocks were very loose. When we realized the danger, we were very high up, but still had a long climb ahead.
Being a spokesman for the union, I got into a quarrel with a colleague who had been acting disloyally over a sustained period of time.
When my grandfather died, with whom I had a very close relationship.
Reading about executions and massacres which happened during World War II, I felt disgust towards those who did it.
I woke up at the house of someone I knew, not remembering very much about what had been said or done during the party on the previous night.
Borrowing a car, and then having a minor accident (breaking a headlight).
When I realized that we are living on borrowed time, and that the nuclear holocaust appears to come closer every day.
When others let me down, fail to keep agreements.
Death in the close family.
When people manipulate others through appearing better than what they really are.
Participating in a theft several years ago.
Feeling helpless, not being able to accomplish what I really wanted to do.
I came home and discovered that someone had broken in. Then I realized that they probably were still there.
I was accused of having drunk a bottle of liquor and then refilling with water.
Got a package from my parents, without even a small note enclosed.
Quarreling with my father, when he made false assertions.
Telling friends about how my parents had been treating my brothers and sisters unfairly.
I've always defended my sister when needed, at the expense of my brother. This has led to feelings of guilt towards him.
Before important sports events.
When colliding with my car. I myself was to blame.
Not succeeding in a cross-country skiing competition, which I intended to win.
Can't remember any episode of disgust.
When I got really drunk on Norvegian Indipendence Day, and was not allowed to participate in football (soccer) games for two weeks. That was very unpleasant.
When I and the boy next door set fire to a house by accident.
Was threatened with a knife ... in the military by soldiers form another unit. The reason was girls.
When my mother treats me as a 10-year old boy.
Getting to know that my uncle in America had a brain tumor.
Outside a night club, a grown man was sitting on top of a younger woman, beating her up.
My father was a member of the public Alcohol and Drugs Board, when I was picked up by the police for being drunk in a public place.
When being illoyal (disloyal) to people close to me. Had such an episode with my sister, who should have received my support and attention.
Motorcycle accident with two people involved, running off the road. Broke an arm, only.
Having agreed to share the taxi expenses, three people in the back of the car just ran off, leaving the person up front with the entire bill.
Death of a close friend.
Can't remember any such feelings now.
At a private party I literally fell into the food. The party was completely ruined for the host, carpets had to be cleaned, etc.
Accidentally dropped a friends camera flash, so that it was broken.
Almost crashing my car, something which could have led to great problems.
Realizing that a friend had been talked into signing a certain contract.
Talking to a pensioned and bitter "street order" policeman.
The sadistinc exacution of a student in the USA.
Forgetting an important appointment.
Not keeping a promise of delivering materials of great importance to the receiver.
Afraid I wouldn't catch the train when I was going to see my sweetheart.
Receiving personal criticisms early in the morning.
Not getting a job.
Seeing a pornographic film when looking for a place to live.
When unjustified hurting other people.
The negative feelings towards me displayed by my "parents-in-law".
The house was on fire, and I was saved by the dog. I am afraid of the fire, verging on panic.
Physical violence. A friend wouldn't listen to me I repeatedly tried to warn him, to no avail. Result: eight people were "pissed off".
My father dying.
Maltreatment of children.
I lost my driver's licence because of speeding.
Car accident, hurt three of my closest family.
Thinking of the unknown, what happens at the moment of death, etc.
In traffic I often get relatively angry with other drivers. Several transgressions make me mad, especially not yielding to priority traffic (e.g. coming from the right).
Losing close people and animals. So far, I've felt most when losing our dog in a traffic accident.
I feel disgust towards those who are responsible for the death of others.
Talking about a person's unattractiveness, not realizing that the person was listening.
I often feel guilty, and it has to do with other people, e.g. if I haven't visited my older relatives for a while.
Being very close to having an auto accident, almost driving off the road.
Having gone to school without learning anything, as usual.
My sweatheart were away on a trip, and then she got problems.
Overeating a traditional type of food - blood pudding.
Forgot to do some shopping that I had promised to do.
I crashed my father's car.
Being close to drowning.
Being slandered by friends.
Love problems.
Does not apply.
Having finally to admit I was wrong, after having denied it for a long time.
Being aggressive against members of my family.
I was scared in the dark when I was a little boy.
Angry when our team (small boys) lost the county championship football final.
My grandfather's death.
A teacher gave me lower grades than I was entitled to, and was hoping for.
Was caught stealing apples in a neighbor's garden.
Not helping parents enough at home and at the farm - this has happened many times.
Once I was stopped by the police in Spain, when I had some "grass" in my tobacco.
My father accused my brother of having bumped his car, and it was wrong.
When a girlfriend left me.
When a "friend" dropped a frog down my neck, and I didn't know what it was.
Fighting with my father while drunk.
During 7th grade our class mobbed a famale teacher so badly that she had a breackdown and was hospitalized.
As a child, when I was at home alone, I felt in an indefinate manner afraid of the death of my father and mother.
I had a discussion with my mother concerning my sister's divorce, we disagreed strongly.
As a ten-year-old I was at the funeral of my grand-father.  It was more the ceremonies held in the church and not really the death of my grand-father which made me sad.
I had a discussion with my wife about an over-weight acquaintance of our's, about her eating habits and the scars caused by her pregnancy.
When I confessed to my girl-friend (now my wife) that I had betrayed her with another woman.
The same as in "shame".
[ I was thinking about death.]
A conflict with a pupil.
When I am at home alone.
A saturday night a bus full of drunken people.
A conflict with a pupil and there were probatory teachers present.
Selling the appartment after my divorce.
In the dark an unreal figure formed by a shadow.
[ When I was treated unfairly, regardless of my motives or deeds.]
When I noticed obvious marks of old age (in a negative sense) on a close relative of mine.
As a child, when I saw an "unesthetic" sight.
On a social occasion, I noticed that I reacted on the basis of my autonomous nerve system (I could not help it).
When I caused needless anxiety to a person close to me because of my lack of self-insight.
I had been drinking with a pal and I later (1 o' clock) had a date  with my fiancee.  We were going to a Spanish lesson and I was afraid that she would smell that I had been drinking.
My fiancee and I were at my parent's place watching TV. There were  only two TV-chairs and we were sitting on them when my drunken brother came in and rudely chased my fiancee off the chair she was sitting on.
I had drunk a couple of beers and my fiancee got angry at me.
We were at a hamburger bar and a man at a table nearby started coughing and spitting into his plate.
We got into a fight with some chaps in front of our family house. The value of the property destroyed was approximately 15 000 FIM. I felt ashamed when my parents came to know about this.
We had had a party the night before and we still had some liquors left the morning after. I went to the kitchen pretending to prepare some tea and was caught by my fiancee pouring some rum down my throat.
I was on the Inter Rail in Naples alone. After an evening in a restaurant I was going back to the hotel when a prostitute approached me to sell herself. I refused but as I carried on walking I felt that I was being followed by someone.
When a girl left me.
I was on my way back from the Inter Rail, on board the ferry from Stockholm when my father called me at 7 o'clock to tell me that my uncle had died and that I would be seeing him off on his final journey within four days.
On Reperbahn, in a restaurant, a "charming" old saleswoman came to beg a drink for herself.
At the funeral of my uncle, I was one of the bearers.  I was not familiar with the etiquette and acted tactlessly because of my ignorance.
On Reberbahn, I was in a "restaurant" where drinks were overpriced.  I did not ask for the prices beforehand, and when the bill came I could not pay the bill.
At the dentist's, waiting for my turn to come.
While in the army, I was treated unfairly by my superiors.  I was held responsible for a deed of which I was innocent.
When I came to know that my grandmother had died.  She was very close to me.
In the army, an acquaintance of mine tended to use his position to advance his own interests.
When I lied to my girlfriend, telling her that I had passed an exam, when I actually did not even take it.
When I spoke ill of a fellow worker in the absence of this person.
When I saw Russian roulette on TV. (obviously the movie "Deer hunter")
When stupid people push me during rush time in the city.
[ Laziness makes one sad.]
When I saw hundreds of snakes twisting over one another in a movie.
I saw a skid-row (chronical) alcoholic and I was ashamed of the people with a high standard of living.
When I shot a bird in the head with a shotgun.
[ Uncertainty about my own abilities in an exam.]
[ An unfair punishment.]
Loneliness, being uncertain of myself in the Autumn.
A rich man expressing disgust towards an alcoholic.
A man asked me: "May I sleep in your stairway?"  and I answered "No".
[ The same as in shame.]
My father was away from home and he did not come back when he was expected, he came back several hours later than expected.
I had an implicit agreement with my sister about meeting her, however she had not understood the situation the same way so she did not turn up.
I realized that the girl I loved had to leave me.
In the bus I was sitting next to a colleage who was drunk and behaved in keeping with his state.
I had promised to help out with domestic chores and I forgot about it.
I had promised to call a girl but I did not do it.
I returned home late from a party last night and I felt afraid trying to anticipate the reaction of my father.
When I learned that my brother had spoilt an LP of mine.
When I came to know that a girl I was fond of already had a boyfriend.
A too eager approach by a dirty drunken person in a bus.
I made a major mistake while learning how to use a computer programme and the teacher criticized me.
I reproached my mother's cooking and criticised her personality, and she felt hurt and depressed.
When I got lost in New York city a late friday night with a friend of mine.
After having quarelled with a relative of mine about politics.
The death of my grandmother.
When I noticed that a nice person was being exploited economically.
I slandered a person behind his back and he got to know about it.
I had quarelled with a friend of mine and I later realized that it was also my fault.
In the traffic with a car, I nearly got crushed between a bus and a tram.  The attention of other drivers saved me at the last moment.
I was disappointed and angry at the bad quality of a documentay program on TV.  In my opinion, the topic was important and the program should have been made with seriousness and consideration.
My father had a heart attack when I was not at home (I was still living with them).  He recovered relatively well although he had to retire (which implied relief from the stress of a small scale enterprise).
At my grandmother's detestable and selfish conduct towards my elder sister, although her behavior was due to senility and lack of understanding.
I arrived late at a seminar concerning my major subject at university, although I had been appointed to formally oppose the paper which was being presented.
I had asked the Salvation Army to take away a piece of furniture of mine, but I forgot to cancel the agreement (a friend of mine took it) and I thereby caused the Salvation Army people some unnecessary work.
A dark night when I had to go to the outdoor lavatory.
When I realized that I was far behind the others in the language course and I could no longer catch up with the others.
The long lasting illness of my grand-mother, and the changes in family relationships caused by it.
Spoilt, smashed and molded potatoes in the fridge, and having to clean up the dish later.
A truth expressed unthinkingly at a coffee party.  I realized later that I had been inconsiderate, at a wrong moment and the wrong place.
I did not go to the exercises, without any adequate reason.
While watching TV (a war movie), I felt a strong fear of death, threat and fear of loosing people close to me.
I was angry with a friend of mine who behaved in an affected manner.
I made a long-distance call to people rather close to me and I thought about the sad incident that had happened to them in the near past; I knew that they were thinking about it too when I made the call.
My parents inherited an appartment and this made them behave in a peculiar manner.
When my friend let my personal matters be publicaly known.
When I think about my family (parents, brothers, sisters) guilt is a part of my feelings.
When my father was very drunk and raging at home.
When I did not find the rack used for beating up rugs, in the yard.
When one of my cat died of a disease.
I felt disgusted at the environment while getting back to my student lodging. I did not see anything in the suburb which had been planned by taking people's comfort into account.
My girlfriend was away visiting another city and I brought another girl home. Next morning when I started getting sober I felt quite ashamed of myself.
I got 100 FIM too much when I changed money at the bank.  They soon called me at my job and the situation was embarrasing for me.
In Sweden, a friend and I lived in an appartment owned by a Finn.  One day, this man came back to the appartment heavily drunk (hashish and alcohol).  He was quite dizzy and he broke down, and I could not foretell his reactions.  However, nothing happened.
I had an appointment downtown, and the person in question was half an hour late.
The death of my grandmother.
In the army, I had been in hospital for two weeks and as soon as I returned to the company, a sergeant ordered me to fetch a load on the tractor trailer.
On the way back from a Summer spent in Sweden, I drunk with a man in the train.  I had drunk so much that when I got home I fell asleep in the entrance hall.  I have never drunk that much, neither before nor after that incident.  I was ashamed because my mother and my sister had to see me in that state and my father had to carry me to bed.
While at primary school, I did not let a friend ring a bell although he would have liked to do it.  Afterwards I felt bad.
I was jogging in the forest, in the central park area, when I saw a man hiding behind a tree.  I got frigthened, turned around and ran out of the forest.
I was coming home in a taxi with a fellow worker of mine.  He was criticizing my earlier conduct towards him, which to my mind was unfounded.  When I reached home, I ran out of the taxi and slammed the door.
I had had a farewell party at the place where I had been working for a year.  That night I could not fall off to sleep.  I was sad thinking that I would not see my nice fellow workers again.
I was travelling in a local train when a drunkard, smelling terribly, entered the same carriage and started eating fish that was stinking.
While quarelling with a fellow worker of mine, I was vehement and irritated and I told him what I thought of him in plain language.  I was ashamed of myself when I met him the next day.
I was working as a secretary.  My boss was to go to give a lecture, and wanted me to give him the exact address of the place.
Years ago, on my way to school by the forest path I came across an exhibitionist.
A person close to me mistook my good intentions for bad, and therefore associated unpleasant traits to me.
[ A person close to me told me that his positive regard depended on my conduct.]
When an untidy and heavyly drunk person made endeavours to approach me.
As a little girl, I was sick in the middle of a school day and I vomitted in the basin of the classroom.
I lost my self-control and raised my voice at a child.
I had been watching a TV-program on paranormal phenomena.  At night I could not fall off to sleep as I feared that humanoids were on the move.
My superior blamed me for some neglects at work in front of others.  In fact, the task in question was not supposed to be done by me.
My father suddenly fell ill and died.
When a friend of mine got drunk and started to blame and scorn my other friends and me.
When I forgot a promise made to a friend of mine.
It was my turn to cook dinner.  I forgot a dish (the favourite of the family) in the oven and it got burnt and was uneatable.
I was alone at home and I could hear odd noises coming from above our bedroom.  I knew that nobody lived there since it was an office.  I got frightened (later I was given a "natural" explanation).
A relative of mine had come to see my husband to talk to him about a problem concerning his sister and me.  I was angry because this relative of mine did not dare to speak to me and instead spoke to my husband.  I got to know about it later the same day.
The death of my father, even though we had not been very close to each other.
The male friend of my mother (a widow) moved in to live with us.  I did not like the man.
At school I was talking to a classmate about mathematics.  I had grown weary of it and said : "I would like to throw the book on the arse of Kuikka".  My classmate said : "Now, he is sitting there and waiting for the book" (Kuikka was one of the most quiet boys of the class).  I was ashamed of myself.
The death of my father made me feel quite guilty, because my attitude towards him had been cold and indifferent.
My husband had gone to drive a strange, broken car.  At the agreed time, he had not returned, and I feared that he had had an accident.
I am a school teacher.  One of the classes does not obey me at all, keeps on talking, does no work.  One afternoon, everything went wrong, and I got exceedingly angry.
A young, close relative of mine died, leaving behind a baby a few months old.
A series about Freud was shown on TV.  In it, a tampon had been set in the nose of a woman, and forgotten there.  After great pain it was taken off (close-up picture), the woman was bleeding from the nose and the mouth.
I had promised to lend something to my mother-in-law and I forgot it a couple of times.  When she asked me about it the third time, I was ashamed at my absent-mindedness.
A borrowed car broke down while I was using it.  It was not my fault, nevertheless I felt guilty.
I was diving below the ice, in a cave, at a depth of 26 metres.  Visibility was almost zero and the oxygen level decreased threateningly.  There were three of us divers on one safety rope.
My mother carried on using mental pressure concerning something which was serious and a real burden to me.
My grandfather died, I went to the mortuary and saw the corpse.
[ The same as in anger.]
As a child when I was blamed for peeing in the swimming-pool.
A friend of mine was drunk and having an argument on the street with a woman, appparently his girlfriend.  I was walking on the other side of the street and thought that I was not supposed to interfere.  Later I heard that he had shot himself that evening.
I was about to begin a journey in a car with an acquaintance of mine.
On the TV news I heard that Nicaragua had complained about the increasing threat of war with the USA.
My girlfriend gave me the mitten (left me).
Watching a violent movie.
The morning after a wild party.
I "picked up" a girl and I thought that I had misused my position and authority over her as there did not seem to be any realistic possibility of continuing the relationship.
My grandmother was about to die, and it had the effect that at night, after having read a book, and once in bed, in perfect darkness, the fear arose that I too may suddenly die.
When I checked my examination paper and realized that I had been careless, thoughtless, lazy and hasty so as to make unnecessary mistakes concerning things I know and understand.
When we decided, my boyfriend and I, that we would separate, I realized that he would have wanted to continue our relationship and the coming separation hurt him.
When an acquaintance of mine told me about the way his parents treated their sons in an unequal manner.  The most successful of them got continuous encouragement, and the youngest was not encouraged and was rejected.
I was talking to a friend of mine about our parents and education.  I said something and then realized that I did not know my friend's parents, their motives and education.  I felt ashamed at having talked about something I did not know anything about.
My mother told me that the enveloppes that I had been tearing (I had torn the stamps away) in good faith had been the first-day enveloppes which my father had collected as a young man.
I feared that I was pregnant.  It was not planned and I would have been compelled to have an abortion, which I would not have liked at all.  Fortunately, after a week's anxiety, I got to know that I was not pregnant.
A member of a religious sect tried to convert me, using really evil tricks to persuade me.  After he had left, I was anxious and angry for a long time. After the event, I was alone.
When my boyfriend wanted to leave me, I felt sad and melancholic.
In a film, there was an episode where they used a chain saw to cut a man.  I could not look at it, but I could not avoid listening either.  I sought shelter in my boyfriend's arms.
I thought I would be able to use the mangle of the house, and so I did not want any help.  However, I blocked it and I had to get the janitor to help me out.  He reproached me for not having followed the instructions
I promised my friends that I would take care of something, but I kept forgetting about it.  When they asked me about it, I promised to do it immediately.  However, I got started only after a couple of months.  I felt that I had betrayed my friends.
When my brother went to shoot wild ducks, I feared that the boat would overturn and he would drown or that the gun would accidentally go off.
My father had once again told me that I should be careful and try to seek admission to other places also apart from the faculty of Social Sciences at the university of Helsinki.  I was not at all interested in any other place and had no time to study for other entrance exams.
I would have liked to go out to chat with some acquaintances, but I realized that I was not wanted.  I felt hurt, disappointed, lonely and deserted.
When an acquaintance (he was drunk) of my room-mate vomitted on the kitchen carpet.  It was past mid-night and my room-mate had just moved in, this acquaintance had helped her move in.á
I was carried away while talking about my visits abroad and I tended to boast a little, till I realized that the listener was amused.
When I was baby-sitting at my cousin's place, I tried to have a pleasant time and did not really take care of the child.  I do not care very much about children.
When a big angry dog put its snout on my arm and had I made one movement it would have bitten me.
When my room-mates were watching video-tapes and prevented me from watching the news.  The first feeling I had was that I was being treated unfairly and then came the feeling of anger.
[ When after a night of sleeping in another's arms, one wakes alone and knows that the lonely arms of the night are not the same that one meets in the morning.]
When an unpleasant person tried to make friends with me.  A subtle, small, insignificant, grey being whose helplessness and neutrality evoked the feeling of disgust in me.
Badly chosen words to a vague acquaintance of mine made me feel ashamed at having given the wrong impression about what I wanted to say.  Thoughtlessness.
When I behaved improperly - fought in a public place.  Afterwards, I felt guilty about my conduct.
My father had been drinking and I feared him when we went to bed at night.
My friends promised me that they would definitely call me to tell me if they were visiting me or not.
A close friend of mine had not contacted me for a long time.
A friend of mine came to see me when he was quite drunk.
I said something especially stupid which I did not mean at all.
I did not go to help a friend of mine, though she probably needed me.
I was afraid when my dog ran out through a crack in the fence when  a train was coming.
When a friend of mine was drawn into a fight because of the stupid gang he belonged to. I felt angry with him and his friends. They could not think about anything sensible, but would fool around without taking into consideration the feelings of other persons.á
I felt sad after having had an argument with my boyfriend.  I felt that he did not understand me and that there was no point in carrying on with the relationship.
I detested my father who was a drunkard.  He would rave, threaten and blame my mother and me.  He finally drove us away from home.
When I was on holiday with my former boyfriend, he hit me and behaved in a very evil and ugly manner in front of the hotel personnel.
When as a child I stole, from a friend of mine, the ring she had got in an easter egg.
At school, I had acted against the will of the group, and the next day they promised to take revenge on me.
My mother had for some time been trying to separate me from a good friend who, she thought, was not good company for me.  Finally, at breakfast one day, we had an argument and I tried to defend my friend.
I got to know about the death of a close friend.
When I was watching a movie with many violent episodes.  They accurately showed the cutting of corpses, etc...
When I was caught telling a white lie.  At that time, I was not allowed to stay outdoors after 8 p.m.  One day when I was late, I made up a story that our neighbour had invited me to his place, though I had actually forgotten about the time while playing with my pals.
When before the last exam I have taken, I went out instead of studying.
I am a kindergarten teacher and I am thoroughly weary of my job.  After having taken the university entrance exam I suffered from anxiety for weeks as I did not want to carry on with my work - studies were the only alternative.
My life-partner, who was drinking more and more, spoke about kicking the cat.  He had never done anything of the kind, but I knew that he would do so one day, without thinking about it.
Estrangement from my best woman friend.  We have been going different ways for quite some time now, but the break was total when she got married as her husband is unreasonably jealous of me.
My life-partner is going through a crisis (way of life, old-fashioned values) and can only get out of it by talking bold decisions.  I have noticed his cowardice and attempts to escape his problems by drinking.  I detest his drinking and his being full of self-pity.
Again, a quarrel had come up in our difficult relationship.  My life-partner threw all the books off the shelf.  I am sure that it disturbed our neighbours since this happened late in the night.
A lonely, neurotic, shy girl lives nearby. She has expressed a wish to meet me, I have however avoided her (turned down an invitation) as the crisis my partner is going through uses up all my empathy.
The fear about my future : work, making ends meet and health. Coping.
A friend of mine ridiculed me, telling me that I would never accomplish anything. I felt that he had interfered with my life.
I felt sad at having to leave my girlfriend after constant problems and failed attempts at reconciliation.  My sadness was caused by the irreversibility of the decision.
A man spat on the wall of a house.
In an express bus I sat on a seat meant for senior citizens and invalids.
When I did not succeed in finding a job after having finished a nonacademic degree.
At the railway station, while waiting for the last train at night I noticed that a drunk young man was appraching me in a purposeful mannner.
While having a discussion with my mother, I realized that she does not for a moment doubt the justification of her making the decisions concerning my life.
When I think that I will probably never have a genuine contact with my parents.
While reading Olli Jalonen's new book, the distant, cold and selfish relationships between people (in the book) made me feel disgusted.
When I approached a person of the opposite sex and was rejected.
When I noticed that my little sister was sulking, because I could not meet her because of a misunderstanding.
My grandfather had lung-cancer and was being nursed at home.  I felt fear when I was alone with him and he almost choked on mucus secretions.
The outrageous conduct of a relative towards me and those close to me.(blaming us and lying)
We had to finish the life of our 8 year-old dog.
A very drunk person.
An argument that grew out of an ordinary conversation with a person very close to me, when we should have been having a good time together.
While trying to get my little brother over a ditch, he fell on his head and started crying.  I was scared of having caused him permanent injury.
[ Meeting some new (unpleasant) people or some new, demanding situation.]
[ For example, unfair pushing in a bus.]
[ When I am, in my opinion, not understood correctly. ]
[ When some people act very important in any situation.]
[ Generally, when I am late in attending to matters (for example paying bills).]
[ If one has planned to do something "important" and then, for some reason, fails to do it.]
I was travelling back home by boat with two friends of mine after a lovely holiday trip.  The night and the sea were dark, and the wind was blowing.  I feared that death was there on the boat, I somehow felt sure about it.  I feared being left alone.
I was at home, filling my tax report.  Nobody had time to help me.  I would have liked to do it quickly so that I could go and meet a friend of mine who had just returned from hospital.  I got angry as both my brother and my father refused to give me their calculator as I had not asked for it nicely.  I could not leave as I had to wait for help and the tax report had to be done.
I tried to talk to my parents over the phone, as I wanted to go home for the week-end and I knew that I would not be able to bear it.  I tried to reduce the gulf and the conflict between us by talking in order to unite our worlds.  Result : hysterical mess, blinding and blaming.
My mother called me because she had read through the enveloppe a letter addressed to me.  She denied having read it intentionally and said "the words just popped out through the enveloppe as the sun was shining on it". Hah Hah.
I feared that I would have to describe my sexual life to an older, strange woman.
When I moved away from home.
My husband suddenly fell ill seriously and during the medical examinations we did not know what would follow.
The housing council asked the city to cut 40 linden trees so that the inhabitants of the lower floors would have a view to the sea.
My child, unexpectedly started acting in a restless and disturbing way at school.  In addition his performance at school weakened.
On a trip abroad, a lady-like member of our group turned out to be an alcoholic.  She spoilt many days of my holidays because of her behaviour and paranoia.
I failed an exam which I thought I would certainly pass.
I had been guilty of gossiping and blaming others, and one of my superiors at the workplace made a formal reprimand.
When climbing up the stairs to the top of a ski-jumping hill.
My boy-friend came home late one night without having told me about it before.
The breaking up of a long lasting relationship.
While watching the movie called "Deer hunter" on TV, when it showed how prisoners were treated.
When I noticed that a person I found attractive had seen me picking my nose.
When I think that I have been too stict or narrow minded towards my students.
While cycling in the country, I came across a large herd of cows.
When I heard that my step-mother had treated my mother in a wrong manner.
When my friend did not pass the high school graduation examinations.
When I heard about the advances an acquaintance of mine had made to my friends, who did not approve of them.
When after having had sexual intercourse with a friend, I thought that he had told about it to a friend of his.
When I promised a male friend of mine to visit him, and did not.
At night, I walk home past a forest.  Once, somebody got stabbed in the forest.  I imagine someone attacking me and I hurry up.
In a tram, the ticket seller was commanding, taking the role of a leader, trying to emphasize her non-existent authority with undue strictness towards a good-humoured drunk who could not find his ticket at once.
A relationship in which I had put my trust, broke up.  I was sad when I realized how easy it is to forget something that one had once regarded as great and significant.
A nightmare.  I was dreaming about bloodsuckers, which I tried to shake off from my body, they are everywhere, they get glued, they suck.  And there are a lot of them.  I panic.
I told evil lies about a close friend of mine.  I was evil in order to sound jolly, to charm a person whom I wanted to impress.  I sold my friend, I was despicable.
I met my ex boyfriend by chance.  We separated a few months ago and I am now with a new boyfriend.  My ex boyfriend looked depressed, and I know I am not to be blamed.
Traveling as the only female in a railway carriage in the middle of the night in Italy.
A male, Honduran acquaintance of mine despised my opinions.
When our dog died.
While walking on the street with a good friend of mine, we met an acquaintance of hers.  My friend started showing off and telling false stories about herself and praising herself.
I was dishonest to my boyfriend concerning something that is important to our relationship.
A parking fine.
While preparing my master's thesis, I was scared that I would not accomplish anything as the subject was rather difficult.
During the Summer, at my workplace, a person kept interfering with my tasks and making unfounded remarks.  I felt hatred for him but it stopped when I realized that he just longed for attention.
The last time I felt sad and disappointed was when I did not do as well as I had hoped in one of the final exams.  As compared with the earlier exams, the questions, I think, were unjust.
After the first of May, I detested my fiance's friends, who had piled on to our party and spoilt it completely.
After our sad first of May party, I felt ashamed because the friends who had been invited had to suffer.  We, the organizers of the party, did not drive the intruders away.
At my summer job, I was responsible for making various orders.  It was not me who had ordered some seasonal merchandise, but when much of it was left over and had to be thrown away in the Autumn, I felt partly responsible for the much too large order.
I was camping with a friend of mine and we spent the night in the forest.  I could not fall off to sleep and could clearly hear noises from outside (steps ?) approaching our tent.
When I quarelled with my parents.
Being away from a very close friend, I was away from Finland for a year as an exchange student.
When I saw a spider.
While playing I urinated on grandma's floor and did not go to the lavatory.  My cousin told grandma and she came.
While travelling in a bus with an invalid ticket, I got caught.
While he was drunk, my life partner tried to hit me.  I felt scared and fled to the bathroom.
A "higher status" colleague of mine despised my attitude and organization of work.
I could not meet my love, after having waited for a month, due to illness.
Once again, my life partner came back home drunk at midnight.
My love and me rented a room in a hotel one evening.  We stayed there a few hours and when leaving the hotel, I felt ashamed.
[ I had, by being silent, disapproved my love and made him unhappy.  He had not been able to keep his promise.  I thus was thinking about my own conduct towards another person.]
My boyfriend hinted over the phone about wanting to "be free".  He thus did not say it point blank, silence followed.
They had returned much less of my taxes than I had expected.
After my boyfriend and I had separated.
In the morning, the cat of my landlady had vomited on the floor, near the staircase I take to go to the bathroom.
My boyfriend's mother, whom I had not met earlier, made an unexpected visit.  I was lying lazily on the bed, reading a newspaper and my boyfriend was studying.
The cat of my landlady escaped through the window which I had left open.
Someone knocked on the door when I was alone at home (though there was a door bell).  I looked through the peep hole but it had been covered.  I called my sister but she could not help me as she was hundreds of kilometres away.
My parents put pressure on me to buy clothes, when I would not have liked to do so.
When my grandfather died, I saw my grandmother crying against my aunt's shoulder (I had never seen my grandmother cry before).
At school, I detested the spinach gruel which had lumps of flour in it.
I told some acquaintances of mine something that I regretted later.
[ I speak harshly to my parents though they only mean my own good.]
While cycling in the country a dog started running beside me, growling and barking, and trying to bite my foot.
Disagreements with mother.  When I moved from KankaanpSS, she had promised to help me move but broke her promise because of some hindrance.
When I had to move away from home to study, and I knew that I would not be coming back home for a long time.
When I noticed two spiders running on the floor in different directions.
When I realized that I had been wrong about a person close to me, because of pre-set ideas and prejudices.
When I reproached my friend because I was myself low-spirited and disappointed.
[ In an aeroplane.]
I was angry at my boyfriend who had promised to come to see me but did not because he spent the evening with his pals.
The breaking up of a relationship.  We decided that the relationship could not carry on, so it was no surprise to me. And anyhow, I had known it would happen sooner or later.
The disgust I feel towards a certain person.
After an event in which I felt that I had acted unfairly.
At my job, I got disproportionately angry with a child.  My reaction was not as it should have been.
I borrowed a car which was supposed to be used for a long journey a few hours later, and one of the tyres burst in the middle of the town and I did not know what to do.
An utterance, which I had intended to be a joke, was taken as an offence.  In my opinion, this was stupid, and I got angry.
My best friend had a relatively severe illness.  I was sad because she was suffering.
A man tried to have sexual intercourse with me, though I had communicated my unwillingness.  Later on, I felt disgust at that person as well as myself because I had partly submitted.
I told my friend about how I had calculated my salary by cheating a little.  When my friend remarked about it, I understood that it was wrong to do so, and I felt ashamed.
I am going steady with a boy, but I had sexual intercourse with another one, and I felt guilty about it afterwards.
I was walking home with a friend at night along a quiet street.  Something started rustling in the bush : it was an exhibitionist.
I got angry at a friend of mine whom I caught reading my notebook (almanach).
When my grandmother died of cancer.
In a lift a drunken, fat and untidy man tried to make advances at me.
[ Sometimes I have by accident said to another person something in which it is easy to read a negative attitude.]
For the sheer pleasure of it, I quarelled with my boyfriend who was trying  to be especially kind to me.
When abroad, while driving a car along a dark, winding road.
When my sister took my things without having asked for my permission first.
When my grandfather died.
When I was working, I got treated in a way which I felt was not democratic.
While working as a domestic helper, one day I had not cleaned up very well and they made a remark about it.
When I decided to move away from my parent's home, my mother told me that it was as if a part of her had been torn out of her.
My episode of fright happened when I came to study.  I had to stand in front of my still unknown fellow students and talk about myself.  My hands shook, I flushed and became tongue-tied.
I felt guilty when I spent a night at my boyfriend's place, particularly because I had been harsh and spiteful when I had left home.  The reason was that I feared a possible discussion on the subject and I wanted to leave defiantly.
One evening, while going to meet a friend of mine, I had to cross a meadow by a dark road.  There were bushes on the other side of the road.  The weather was damp and a bit foggy.  I heard steps behind me and kept speeding up my steps all the time.
My brother told me that a person (whom I know) had insulted him.  I am very fond of my brother, and as he himself can not get angry or hurt, my protectiveness was aroused and I got angry.
My guinea-pig had been ill for a couple of days.  One evening, when I came home I enquired as to how it was doing.  My mother's expression told me that it had died.  My knees refused to support me and I began to weep convulsively.
I happened to see two boys fighting, one of them fell down and hurt his head.  The other one used this to spank the head of the 
boy on the ground.
I had been away all night without having told my parents about it.  In the morning when I came home, my mother looked tired.  She said that she had been awake all night because of me and that she was angry and disappointed.
I had not written to, or called my grandmother, who was lonely, for a long time.  My mother asked me to call her on her behalf and when I did so, my grandmother was delighted and she told me that she had been waiting for some news from us.
I saw a man who had had a heart-attack and who was being treated for it.  I feared that my own father could have been there.
When I saw a big man hit another one, and nobody did anything.
When my sister left to go home, in Sweden, after the Christmas Holidays.
I once watched the series called "Dynasty" on TV, and I detested it.
I feel guilty as I am not working, and even my studies are not progressing.
A neighbour's girl had disappeared and many people were looking for her.  Someone had gone to notify the police.  Something had certainly happened to her.
Without my permission, my son had made popcorn after coming back from school.  The consequences were a spoilt kettle and chaos in the kitchen but what could have happened with the hot grease ?
The death of a close relative.
One of my fellow students used questionable and unfair means to advance her studies faster than others.  I detested her.
My friend told me in a fairly loud voice the blunders she committed last night.
I stopped my car in front of a pedestrian crossing as a child was crossing the street.  The car driving in the next lane did not stop and the child got hurt.  Had I not stopped ...
I work at a day care centre, and one day when the children were outdoors a four-year old boy disappeared from the yard.  I was not looking after them then, but as the manager it was me who was responsible.
I was on vacation, and therefore I did not attend a meeting of the day care centre.  Nevertheless, the very day I came back they called me early morining to ask me "what are you going to do about the matter ?" (which had been discussed in the meeting).  Then I got angry.
The fact that my mother is getting married again (my mother and father divorced about 15 years ago) means that she will probably move to Turku, and our home, which is a one family house, will be sold (I myself have not been living at home for the past six years).
While travelling in a bus, there were three people sitting behind me (two men and a woman).  They were drunk and the conversation was unbelievable (about fucking, fellatio, etc...).  They tried to get others to take part in the conversation.  I loathed it and felt like crying.
When I was seven years old, I stole a chewing-gum from a big glass bowl on the counter of a nearby shop, and I got caught.
I am the secretary of an association, and during the last meeting I forgot to take the minutes.
I awoke at night and did not remember dreaming about antthing in particular.  I just felt oppressing fear, it was dark and all the others were sleeping.
One winter day I, unwillingly, was outdoors with my younger brother (10 years younger than me).  I lost my temper on him and wanted to throw my brother down the snow bank we were on.  I pushed him but not as hard as I had wanted to. We were alone the two of us.
I was on a class excursion, by boat to Stockholm.  At night my class mates prepared to clebrate their motive in life which was "life is merriment".  I felt depressed about the way they sought happiness.
I was on my way home by bus.  A man who had drunk a fair amount of alcohol started talking, trying to hug and pat a woman sitting next to him.  Fortunately it was not me.
I gave a wrong answer at school.
When my little brother asked me to play with him, I told him that I had no time and that I would play with him the next day. However, the next day I said the same thing.
When I was walking on a fairly out-of-the-way street.
A friend of mine had promised to arrange me some tickets for a concert which I considered important.  He could not get them the way he thought he would, so he gave up the whole thing.
I was sad when I saw that a beautiful girl was not attainable.
I heard somebody talk about studies in a highly enthusiastic "student-like" way.
While attending some affairs, which were taking some time, with a bank officer, I felt that my clothes and appearance were out of place, too raggy.
One evening I went out with some friends of mine, although I was supposed to stay at home with my little sister who is 11.
When I was in the army, a room mate of mine came back from furlough and threatened another fellow with a knife.
The last day of school is traditionally celebrated by singing a song about all the students who are leaving.  In the song about me, there were things which irritated me a lot.
I worked for seven months in a factory, and made friends with a fellow worker.  Later, I visited my former fellow workers and was told that, while in the army, my friend had shot himself.
The behaviour of a fellow towards me and some others in the army was really mean.  I detested this.
I tried to date a girl, but she refused.
While doing some calculation exercises, I neglected a part of it, though I had marked it as done.  By chance, I was asked to demonstrate this very part on the blackboard.
When I was 8 years old, I would usually come home from school with my mother in a car.  For the first time I had to take the school bus, and I mistook the bus stop and found myself two kilometres away from where I lived.  I was very scared, wondering how I would get back home.
I read in the newspaper that the Student Lodging Fund was going to build new appartments for refugees (in my opinion this is the state's affair).  This is when only a fractoin of the students can find an appartment.
I lead a rather secure life.  The only thing I can remember is a song from the nineteenth century which is against alcohol.  Both the melody and the word (although naive) effected my emotions.
Yesterday in the elevator a man started smoking, this is something I just can not tolerate.
In primary school I once faltered while answering a question and the others started laughing.
[ Generally when I am shopping I feel like I were guilty of all the thefts through the year (I have never stolen).]
I was less than 10 years old when our neighbour's dog chased me to the roof of a small shed and there seemed to be no hope of getting away from there.
While playing a ball game, I was just about to make a goal when I was thrown off my feet, and I failed to score the goal.
When I heard about the death of Frantois Truffaut, the French motion  picture director, on the radio.  I had planned to go and see his last film.
I saw a movie called "The Thing", the film directed by John Carpenter.  The monster in the film made me feel disgusted.
I had misbehaved at a party and did not wish to meet the person in question later.
While playing a ball game, I made a mistake and we lost the game.
I had a dream in which I was an African elephant.
When I came for the lesson, it was cancelled and I had to fill in a questionnaire instead.
When my car froze, and I could not start it.
When I saw our computer teacher.
When I was going downhill on skis, and fell down twice the first time.
When I was involved in a car crash.
My mother had not come home at midnight.  She had forgotten to tell me about it.  I was very young and all alone at home.
My girlfriend started singing (she cannot sing) and did not stop despite my asking her to do so.
When my grandmother died of cancer.
When I was still a child, I saw a horror film on TV in which there was a rotten human skull.
As a small boy, I took a coin from an empty taxi cab.  My mother saw it and told the driver about it.  I even knew the driver.
When I betrayed my former girlfriend.
New Year's Eve party in the country, I hardly knew a person; my partner spent most of the time at the bar. I had little opportunity to get to know people because our table was separated and my boyfriend's parents were present.
Christmas Eve: there was a tension between my parents, they did not even try to restore a harmonic atmosphere. Mother stayed in her room almost the whole day. I felt alone and was very sad.
Father said: If you are pregnant, you will have to procure abortion. I was filled with disgust against my father.
I had an intimate relation with my boyfriend, but unfortunately we had sexual problems; therefore I deceived him, but I was ashamed when I told my friend about it.
I work at a commercial house from 7 to 10 a.m. On a very cold day in winter I was late - and let a fellow worker stand in the cold for half an hour.
Car accident in the middle of the night.
At the weekend I wanted to be absent from school because of a sports event, but my teacher refused to give me the day off because he didn't like me.
When I was six years old, my favourite cat died.
A gigantic spider climbed over my face and what is more - in my own flat.
I was very fat and felt absolutely unwell. I was afraid of leaving the house and getting to know new people.
I was said to be responsible for my mother getting ill and growing thin. I did not realize that it really was my fault until several weeks later.
My sister had to undergo a very complicated operation, her eyesight was at stake.
I had a quarrel with my parents; I was convinced to be right.
I heard that a friend had died in an accident; group situation: suddenly a friend came in and said "Have you already heard that..."; there was a terrible consternation, silence, then everybody shouted excitedly "How could that happen...".
Scuffle in a carriage of the underground in Vienna, three drunk men thrashed a man in a wheel chair - I watched the scene from another carriage.
I put an end to a friendship with a girl - I had only pretended love and affection to be able to sleep with her.
A young girl tried to put an end to her life because of lover's grief; not until she was in hospital I heard that I had been the reason for her action.
I had not told my parents about my bad marks in school. One day, my father wanted to speak to the teachers. Fortunately I could influence my parents to take it easy.
I wanted to go to a friend of mine who had a party; at the moment I wanted to leave, my father said I couldn't go because he needed me for some work in the afternoon.
A friend of mine, who had repeated a year at school once before, did not pass the final examination and had to take it again half a year later.
Eco-activists demonstrated against a project to build a power station at the Danube in the middle of a lowland forest (Hainburg) and the government decided to delay it for another year. When my father heard about it, he said that we needed another Hitler.
There was a time when my room looked terribly untidy; just at that time my aunt came to see me; fortunately I could prevent her from entering the room.
I was supposed to fetch some friends at the bus stop, but I did not do it because my father was in a bad mood and I was afraid that he would grumble.
My car skidded on the wet street.
I wanted to see a friend, I had been looking forward to it and had certain expectations, but he did not pay any attention to me, played cards with other people.
A good friend quitted me after he had behaved in a strange manner.
In broad daylight I saw an untidy old man pissing and playing with his penis in the middle of the town.
Somebody who knows me very well discovered that I had told him a lie.
When my boyfriend was away, I flirted with his best friend; I felt guilty the next day.
Recently a good friend only called me when he needed something. He never said "please" or "thank you" or any other kind word.
My favourite horse died. We had tried our best to save him, but it was hopeless, he had to be shot.
I read a book about the sexual phantasies of women; I read about a woman having sexual intercourse with a dog.
In our flat the bath-tub is in the kitchen. At the beginning I had very intensive feelings of shame when I had a bath and people were in the kitchen.
I had to take care of the plants of a friend of mine for several weeks. I watered them, but let them stand in a cold room so that two of them perished.
When we stayed in Vienna with our class, my friend and I behaved incorrectly. Our teacher threatened us with exclusion from school.
When I lost my driving license because I had been driving while under the influence of alcool.
My mother's death.
When I entered the dissecting room for the first time. I think I felt disgusted mainly because of the bad smell of formaline.
I think I felt ashamed for the first time when I entered a night club.
During a ski tour with a friend, we two had drunk too much. When we went down the slope on ski, I lost my friend who had lost his way. I thought that something must have happened to him (he finally arrived but after a very long time).
When I was a child, I was always afraid of my father. Just when he looked at me, I felt frightened.
A colleague asked me to study with her. I could not explain things as perfectly as she had expected. So she reacted in an aggressive manner.
During the Christmas holidays, I went to see my parents and stayed with them for two weeks. After two or three days, we had the same conflicts we had had ten years before when I had lived with them. They were glad when I left.
Old man in hospital, hollow-cheeked, only one half of his nose and glass-eye, rattling breath.
When my father came into the bathroom and saw me standing there naked.
I live with my boyfriend, we have a close relationship, I fell in love with another man.
One night I had a feeling that somebody was stealing my car, but I was too frightened to go and see.
When we rearranged furniture in our flat and got stuck in a chair.
A person died (not really a friend).
Several weeks ago, I had problems with friends, I felt disgusted by a friend.
When I was a child, I thought that I had to be ashamed when asking and doing certain forbidden things.
When quarreling with friends.
My girlfriend and I slept in a lonely hut (we had drunk alcool). Suddenly some soil fell on us, then some water. Although we tried hard, we could not find out the cause.
I helped my little sister (13 years) learning mathematics. Obviously she did not want to understand what I explained and started to cry. I grew angry.
When my girlfriend told me that she wanted to leave me.
On a trip I passed by a cellulose factory. It was a fine day, beautiful landscape; I observed this factory with disgust.
When I went to a sauna with my father for the first time (I was 16). When I entered the sauna naked, I felt ashamed for a short time.
I came home from a discotheque at half past four in the morning, although I had promised my parents to come home at midnight. From 3 a.m. I felt guilty towards my parents.
On my way through lonely streets I met with a huge stray dog. It stopped at some distance and looked at me. I tried to ignore it but I was very frightened.
A friend of mine tried to persuade me to go at her place to act as a model because she felt too tired. It was a quarter of an hour before the appointed time, I had just lied down and did not want to go because it was too late anyway. She said that I only was talking about looking for work, but if it was possible I would not accept it. I was angry about this unjust judgment.
After I had lived with my boyfriend in a foreign country for half a year, I saw that it was impossible for me to stay with him (for economic reasons). We separated although I loved him.
In a certain book I read about cruelties and violence in prison and souteneur circles; I felt especially disgusted when I read detailed descriptions of physical and mental torture of less powerful people.
When I talked to a psychotherapist for the first time, I started to cry; first I talked to him but he did not say anything and after a while I was crying.
I went shopping with my mother and sister (17 years old). Mother always told my sister what she should buy. Instead of assisting my sister in defending herself against mother's interference, I just behaved aggressively towards my sister.
It was on St. Claus Day when I was five years old. St. Claus and his Devil Servant came to see me. St. Claus' Devil Servant rattled with his chain and bowled terribly. I was so frightened that my parents had to ask him to leave.
A friend called me and told me that she wanted to come and see me. She lived in a village at 50 km distance fom my home town. Next morning I expected her but she didn't arrive. As I got impatient I called her but her parents told me that she had gone skiing. I was very angry because I had cancelled an appointment to be able to see her.
When I was eight years old my father was run over by a car. When I saw his body I was sad beyond words.
A friend prepared a soup with chicken heads and invited me to eat it. I saw the eyes staring at me and the tongues hanging out of the bills. I was so disgusted that I felt nausea and had to leave the room.
When I had to go to the gynecologist and to sit on that special chair, I felt ashamed.
After a terrible quarrel with my family, I withdrew in my room. I felt guilty because I had caused this scene by my aggressive behavior.
I was afraid of a certain examination although I was relatively well prepared.
At the hairdresser's, I got two stains of dyestuff on my new trousers. These stains are not removable, so I cannot put on the trousers again.
In 1977, my grandfather, to whom I had a very close relationship, died.
A drunken man forced me to kiss him.
A friend started to insult another person without reason and I felt ashamed of her behavior.
I had to call somebody between 12 and 12:30. As I had no possibility to call him at this time, I did not do it until 3 p.m.
I went home all alone from a restaurant. It was dark, I went very fast. Behind me, there were some drunk men who shouted at me. By chance, I met some friends who accompanied me.
A friend who shares the room with me, opened the window in the morning and left the room the whole day. When I came home in the evening, the room was so cold that I couldn't stay there.
When my aunt, whom I had loved very much, died. When I heard about her death, I was not as touched as at the funeral. I really became conscious of her death at that moment.
A friend told me how he managed to win the sympathy of as many people as possible. He said he first listened to what they said and then he tried to only say things they would like to hear. He would never express his own opinion. I felt really disgusted when he told that.
In a restaurant, I made the acquaintance of a boy who always told the same things in a very loud voice. I laughed and said to him that he always repeated the same things. Some time later I heard that he had undergone a complicated brain operation.
After closing the front door I realized that I had left the key inside the house. I felt even more guilty since it was not my own house but the house of people I hardly knew.
On a mountain tour, my girlfriend and I passed by an inn. Near the house there was a big dog which began to follow us. As my girlfriend is afraid of dogs, I had to draw his attention to me. He jumped towards my shoulders and wanted to play with me but I really did not like that.
I arrived in Vienna in the middle of the night. I asked for some silly information - as I realized myself afterwards - and the inquiry  clerk reacted in a very arrogant manner.
I had to leave my girlfriend for 4 weeks because of my studies. This happens frequently. The last 24 hours before my departure are always very depressing.
When I stayed in the house of friends, I washed my face and wanted to dry it with a towel. This towel seemed to have been used over a long time already. It smelled indefinably awful.
A friend of mine has not very much money. Therefore, once I stayed with him and his girlfriend, I bought some meat, but nobody wanted to go and prepare it for dinner. My friend said "I thought you wanted to invite us for dinner". "Of course", I said, but I thought by myself that it must have been enough that I had bought it.
It happened when I still went to school: I got closer to a girl but I considered it only as an "affair". Only much later I realized how painful this must have been for the girl.
Some friends and I were crossing a street when one of my friends was seized by a car and thrown aside. I had seen the car coming in our direction but I did not have enough time to react and prevent the accident.
I wanted to clear up a misunderstanding with a friend that I had caused. A third person meddled in our conversation, turned my efforts to ridicule so that I did not succeed in what I had intended.
Death of my grandmother.
In school I had difficulties mith mathematics. When I had to work for an examination, I really felt disgusted.
I played in a stage play. Suddenly, in front of 200 people, I could not remember the words I had to say.
One night I did not come home without telling my parents and I did not want to speak about it afterwards. My mother cried. I had a bad conscience and felt guilty.
One evening, in the tramway, I was afraid of two drunk men molesting my girlfriend and me.
I went singing with a group of young people on January 6th (The three Magi), a local custom called "star singing". One of the girls, my girlfriend, broke the star. Being the accompanying person, I felt very angry thinking of the consequences.
When the grandmother of my friend died in a hospital. My friend was crying and I was sad, too.
I saw a physically handicapped young man whose spittle ran out of his mouth while speaking.
It was in a group situation: suddenly it was my turn to say something, 
but I felt that I was not able to express myself very well - I felt ashamed and blushed.
My girlfriend's results in school had become worse because I prevented her from learning (we often went out etc.).
When I was a child, I heard the floor cracking and I thought there was a burglar in our house; I hid under the blanket and trembled.
During a lecture, a colleague who did not know anything about the subject, got on my nerves asking silly questions.
When my grandfathers died and I realized how much I would miss them.
During a football game, another player who was perspiring very strongly ran into me.
I tried to pass an examination particularly well, but I did it worse than ever. I felt ashamed.
During the military service, I lost a part of an equipment; I accused another person and he was rebuked and punished.
I am a "cantor" - I sing psalms in church. Several weeks ago I had to sing too, but the organist did not tell me in time. As I did not know the psalm, I was afraid and said that I could not sing.
During the Christmas holdidays I wanted to invite my brother, his girlfriend and their child for dinner. When I said to my brother's girlfriend that I would like them to come at my place for dinner, she refused and never mentioned it again as if I had never asked her.
Several years ago my brother died in an accident. When I heard about it, I was very sad. It took years until I resigned myself to it.
I read a book about the situation in South-Africa, about the terrible violations of human rights. I was disgusted with the white population.
My P.T. instructor also works as a masseur. He wanted to massage me, therefore I had to undress. For the first few times this was not easy for me; I got gradually used to it.
Some time ago I took the driving test. I did answer the theoretical questions very well, but I failed the practical driving test. It was my fault because I had not enough practice.
After a short stay in Marocco we missed the ferry-boat back to Spain and we had to look for an accomodation. By chance we met a man who offered to take us to a camping site. While I was sitting in his car I was terribly afraid because I had heard of people being robbed in Marocco.
After an exhausting day I came home and wanted to take a bath to relax. My father wanted to take a bath first and when he had finished after an hour, there was no hot water left for me.
I met some nice people during my holdidays. When they left I knew that I would never see them again.
A drunk man attacked his wife and wanted to humiliate her by insulting her. Then he turned violent and started to beat her in front of her child. She left it happen without saying a word in order not to make things worse. I watched the scene and tried to calm the man, but without success. Just because he was stronger we had to comply. From that day I detested him.
For a medical check-up, we - boys and girls - had to take off our clothes with the exception of our underwear. Then we had to go into another classroom where older pupils were sitting and staring at us.
I allowed my little brother to clean the bathroom in his own way. My mother came and saw the floor overflowed with water, slapped my brother in the face and told him to go to bed immediately.
I was driving my car and it was very misty. It was in the night and I was alone in my car. I felt totally insecure, nervous and overstrained.
My mother treated me unjustly as if I was a little child. I said mean things. I was unable to defend myself adequately.
When my uncle died whom I had loved very much. I was very sad and I felt totally helpless.
I watched the news at the TV, it was a commentary about "Hainburg". I felt disgusted when I heard members of the union speak about the situation.
I took the tram without paying. There were many people around me when I was caught by a controller. I felt ashamed but also angry.
I behaved in a nasty manner towards a friend, I said things which I could have said in a more friendly way. After that I felt guilty.
Once our school class went skiing. On a steep slope a boy standing behind me lost his balance, fell down and drew me with him. I slided down the whole slope. At about 1 m distance from a tree I could stop.
It happened in a tram: some older people started to grumble about the young people just because I had not immediately left my seat to them.
When I was younger I was very good in apparatus gymnastics. I always won in competitions, but once I was only at the fourth place.
A friend was assaulted by a young man on her way home.
Some men were talking about me and my sister.
During my holidays I had a boyfriend who turned away from me outwardly. Therefore I danced with another man and raised certain hopes in him. After a while I had to explain to him the circumstances
I was at home alone and my mother had asked me to heat the house. I put too much fuel into the stove. It began to glow and there was a noise in the whole house as if it was going to explode.
At the end of my holiday job I got less money than was due to me and nobody mentioned anything about that.
My little cat which I had raised all by myself, hanged itself when playing in the garden.
At school a classmate who was a very good pupil had to help another boy who performed less well. He told him on purpose the wrong things so that he had to repeat a year.
When I was a child I played my mother a nasty trick to make her feel hurt.
I had promised my friend to take her to an important appontment but I was late. So she missed the opportunity to get a wellpayed holiday job.
When I was a child I was afraid of big dogs. One day when I came home a big dog was laying in front of our door. I was so frightened that I did not dare to enter the door and I waited until somebody passed by.
I share my small flat with my friend. On her birthday we could not see each other until evening because we had to stay at the University all day. In the evening I left a lecture before it finished to be able to buy flowers for her. When I was at home she called me to tell me that she would stay the night with her boyfriend.
When I was a child I had a grass-parakeet I liked very much. His legs were crippled so that he could not move very fast. Once I came into the room, did not notice him and stepped on him. A few days later he died.
When I was younger I often saw my father come home drunk (he had big problems at that time). Once he woke me up in the middle of the night and shouted at me.
At school I was bad in mathematics. Although my teacher had admonished me to do my homework, one day I had forgotten to do it. When my teacher noticed it, I blushed and was ashamed to be rebuked in front of the other pupils.á
When I was a child I often quarrelled with my younger sister. Once I became so angry that I slapped her in the face. She cried and shouted so that my mother came in and scolded me.
One evening I stayed at home all alone. As we lived on the ground floor, I was often afraid of burglers.
One day, when riding on a bicycle path, a car coming from the opposite direction forced me to get off my bike although I had the priority.
My father died unexpectedly at the age of 53 years. He certainly would have liked to live longer. I was also said because I was confronted with the fact that I would die one day too.
One day, when I was twelve years old, my brother took some slimy substance swimming on the surface of a pot of vinegar made of cider and threatened to throw it at me.
When I was ten years old a classmate laughed at me because I had told him that my father had retired.
I felt guilty because I had not accomplished a thing as well as I had wanted to.
When I was hitch-hiking and I went with a man who drived like a madman.
I was in "Hainburg" in December and I was angry about the politicians and the police.
I met again a very good friend after a year and realized that there had grown a certain distance between us.
When I listened to a conversation of friends talking about the power of money.
When my grandmother died - at her funeral.
I read about a monk who had been murdered and put into a barrel which was filled with blood of pigs.
I went for a walk with a very close friend; we were talking about our problems, I told her lies.
I had to tell a collegue the time for an appointment with another collegue. I told her the wrong time - it was obviously my fault.
My mother had fallen down from a ladder when she had been gathering cherries. Her back was hurt. Just when I arrived, I saw people of the life-saving service giving her medical care.
I was waiting behind a car which was going to leave the parking place, because I wanted to park my car there. Because of uncoming traffic I had to wait for a short time - another driver placed his car on the place.
My partner left me after we had been together for a long time.
At a discussion a friend took a "faschistic view", what I had not expected.
At a weekend's seminar my trousers suddenly burst, therefore I was prevented from participating in several activities.
When I was driving my motorbike I went into a bend incautiously and fell down. I was slightly hurt, the motorbike was slightly damaged.
When I was a child, I fell into a cellar (when playing) and could be freed only with big difficulties.
I was angry about several drivers who showed an aggressive and dangerous driving habit.
When my grandmother died. I had a very deep relation to her (I lived with her for several years).
Some time ago a girl tried to make me up without any action of my part. She used all possible means. Although I behaved refusingly she did not give up for a longer time.
When I went to the sauna for the first time and there were men and women.
When I was parking my car I was not cautious and bumped into another car. I caused considerable damage. The driver of the other car was very angry and I let him insult me because I felt guilty.
When I was walking on the street, a group of drunk, bawling young people approached.
When I was house-hunting: Another person got a flat that I would have liked, too, because he heaped a floot of words on the letter.
When my grandmother died.
When I shoplifted a pair of earrings from Coles and my Mum caught me with them in my bag.
When I saw a good male friend unexpectedly after a year, as I've just returned from overseas. I was feeling tired, looking a mess, and nervous.
When I wanted to talk to someone I liked and whom I have been told likes me (by his brother and even by himself) however he avoids any confrontation, and is vague.
After having left the company of someone who gave me a lot of support and made me laugh, found myself alone for days on end.
When a boy had continued to use foul language and swearing in front of a group of my friends.
When I was about seven or eight I was caught having stolen a doll's dress from my next-door neighbour.
Feeling guilt after greed, buying chocolate and pigging out to the point of feeling sick, especially as I am fat.
No really strong such emotion. Just falling off to sleep when I caught sight of a 5 cm diameter spider crawling onto the pillow beside me.
My feelings towards would-be in-laws for their participation in recent broken relationship.
Recent break-up of seriors long-term relationship, helped along by would-be  in-laws.
No very strong such emotion. Treatment of my sister by her dancing instructor - he is a "user", i.e., takes advantage of her good nature.
After failing a second attempt at Med 4, following a number of difficult personal circumstances.
Failure to complete medical course as a result of failing fourth year twice.
Car accident nearly occurred between us and drunk driver coming in opposite direction it missed us by approx 1 m and collided (after rolling twice midair) into nearby scrub.
When boyfriend lied to me.
When my boyfriend took me to his father's grave.
On boat trip - saw mother giving young child (aprox 6-7 years) cigarettes.
When harassed by this boy - it was sexual (refer to GUILT).
When in grade 3, late home from school every day for weeks because of harassment from a grade 7 boy I lied to mother about why I was home late.
Small car accident. Black ice on the road - cars in front of us started zig-zagging and so did we. Car in front did a 180¦ turn we followed and ended up in a gully.
People hunting animals.
When my grandfather was sick, and died I felt more sad, though, when he was sick.
People spitting in railway stations.
Falling over.
Eating too much I felt guilty afterwards because I knew I shouldn't have overeaten as I'm putting on too much weight.
I was sleeping in my room but woke in the middle of the night to think I could hear noises and see shadows moving. I felt that someone was in the house.
At school, a couple of years ago, a so-called acquaintance told lies about me to a teacher I was told about it by friends who overheard the conversation.
My grandfather died. He lived almost as a recluse not caring for himself as well as he should - Dad and we all helped as much as we could, but it didn't save him from himself. It was an unexpected death. His second de facto wife was lucky she wasn't jailed.
In my penultimate job I was responsible of a sections with several employers, after several years of dedication I was dismissed by a new chef, saying that I was incompetent.
I assisted to a scene where the police attacked a person that didn't have his documents. The savagery was too much, and the attacked person bleeded to much.
In a party of friends I got completely drunk.
Once in my homes yard, I was plaing football with my cousin and in a certain quick the ball went on uncontrolled putting down a bird-cage, killing it.
When I had to assume a position which I didn't expect.
When I was dismissed unjustly from the firm where I worked, because there where persons that didn't have problems, and wouldn't miss in the jobs they occupied if they were dismissed.
I felt very sad when I had to give up something that by right was mine and although I didn't get it, a kind of suvenir that people don't give you the right to have.
The acts of brutal violence in generally disgusts me. Fights, phisical aggrssion, etc.
I felt ashamed when in a certain occasion I had to read a text and didn't stop stuttering.
When I was reproved eighth grade of high school.
When I talked with a teacher yesterday who, to say the least, was rude and unwise and had irrelevant opinions about a friend.
The loss of the woman who loved me most till today.
In a sexual experience with an unknown woman where after the sexual act I only could go away without looking backwards.
When I wanted to kiss a friend and didn't succeed, I felt shame.
On a telephone talk where I was agressive and stupid without the least, reason or better motive.
When I crashed my car.
When in a difficult moment I couldn't express myself correctly and my thought came out with distortions bringing about highly negative and distorted results.
When I heard about the death of somebody I liked very much and I was not present either to see the person or to try to share my emotions with other friends.
When I saw a woman subjugated by money and not being able to hide how she hated herself for not having the will power to get out of such a situation because it was convenient, according to what she told me.
When somebody suddenly said something (about me) at a wrong moment and I didn't agree (at that exact moment I was needing an extremely positive word).
When my mother surprised me while masturbating.
I forgot to water the flowers in our flat and was rebuked by my friends who share the flat with me.
When I was a child, I had a nightmare. At that time, I was not yet able to tell anybody about it, so I was very frightened. I could not explain myself all that and I had to deal with it by myself.
I was angry with a person who behaved terribly at a ball offending her relatives.
When my grandfather died. When I heard about his death, I had a bad feeling in my stomach and I felt as if I had lost something very precious.
My brother caught a spider and let his frog eat it.
Once I spoke without thinking very much - it was quite a nonsense.
I was not sure whether I should help an old woman going down a flight of stairs. I just watched her and saw how difficult it was for her to do it.
I live outside Graz - so I have to go by bus. One day I went home from the bus stop alone. It was dark, I had to go through a forest and there was a dark figure behind me. I was very frightened.
My sister had promised to help me to do a translation from English into German. But the day I needed her she told me that she was busy - I was very angry.
Several years ago my mother died. She had been ill for a long time, but nevertheless her death came unexpectedly. I did not and I still do not want to believe that it is true.
I have a horror of spiders and snakes. On a walk through the wood I saw the body of a slow-worm (without the head).
I came home from a party rather drunk. I said things I would never have said normally. Next morning I was terribly ashamed about what I had said.
An accident happened to my little cousin because I had not taken enough care of her. She fell on the floor and her hands were hurt.
When I was a child, I had a terrible nightmare with St. Nicholas' Devil Servant. I asked my mother if he really existed and she said yes. The following nights I could not sleep and a light had to be left turned on.
As I usually do not start learning until a short time before an examination,, I once made up my mind to try to work for a longer time. But once again I did not do it - and got a bad mark.
A friend told me about his cousin who is my girlfriend. He said she had treated him in a mean and nasty way. I was surprised because in front of other people she had always treated him in a friendly way. I am very sad about it.
I went out with my sister, her boyfriend and his friend. I did not like this young man. But suddenly he overcame me and kissed me. He was very strong so that I could not defend myself.
During the oral part of my final examination I made a mistake in speaking so that all the teachers laughed at me.
There was a time when I did not get on well with my sister. I always grumbled at her and said bad things about her to my mother. So my mother always scolded her.
When I was on a cave excursion with friends, I suddenly lost them and was afraid of losing my way in the cave.
When I felt being treated unjustly by a teacher.
When my grandmother died; I had a stronger relation to her than to my mother.
When I was molested by an old drunk man.
When I had a Latin examination in school.
When I had drunk too much and nearly got an alcohol poisoning.
When I went home alone early in the morning, I had to go through a wood.
A friend was unpunctual, we wanted to prepare ourselves for an examination.
When my grandparents moved to another part of the town.
At the butcher's I saw an animal which had just been slaughtered; blood was dripping on the floor.
In school I was very bad in running long distances and my class-mates laughed at me for this reason.
I had to take care of my little brother. When I met a friend I did not pay attention to him for a certain time and he was hurt while he was playing.
Once I spent a night with a friend at the secondary school. We told each other horror stories and suddenly we heard uncanny noises. I was terribly frightened.
When we still attended school, my brother and I usually went to see our aunt and to show her our term's report. She rewarded us with money. Although my reports were as good as my brother's, he got more money.
My friend was pregnant, but lost her child during the second month. I went to see her at hospital - she was crying. I felt very sorry for her.
When I attended school, our class visited an institution for mentally and physically handicapped persons. Although I tried to control my feelings, I was disgusted.
After a party I spent the night with a friend. We both were drunk, the morning was disillusioning. A friend was me leaving the room and I felt shabby and immoral.
I had to take care of a neighbour's child. I did not look after it all the time and the child fell down and was hurt. I felt guilty.
One evening my father told me to go into the cellar and get him a beer. I was terribly frightened at the idea of a man sitting in the cellar and assaulting me. For my defence I took an empty bottle with me.
I had stolen a bottle of rum from a person who knows me well. He threatened to call the police if I did not pay 500 Shillings.
When my uncle died I saw a funeral for the first time. All people stood around the open grave and cried.
At a party I met a girl who drew me to her, told me some nonsense and always wanted to kiss me.
I put my head into the pullover of a girl to see her breasts. The girl looked at me so that I felt ashamed.
My uncle had promised to buy me a bicycle. As time went by and I had not received it yet, I asked my father to buy it for me. Later I heard that my uncle had wanted to offer me the bicycle on my birthday two weeks later.
One night I was lying in my bed awake but I had my eyes closed. I saw figures with terrible faces and black frocks bending over me and touching me. I opened my eyes but I could still see them. I had the feeling that somebody was in the room. It was terrible. Only when I turned on the light I was able to go to sleep.
I had arranged with a friend to go with him to Carinthia by car. We had arranged a place where to meet. I was a bit late and my friend had left already. I had no money to go by train. I nearly started to cry because I was so angry - it was very important for me to go to Carinthia.
Our dog had to be shot because he had killed a roe. I liked him very much and so I could not resign myself to that. I hated the hunter who shot him.
I was sitting in a station-hall and watching a lavatory attendant. She was very dirty. She started to eat something out of a dirty cup - it must have been something like lard. Then she took some breadcrumbs out of the pockets of her apron and ate them. I had to leave - I felt like vomitting.
I had to go to the doctor's because of a veneral disease. I told the doctor that I must have been infected by my boy-friend. This was not true, but I was ashamed to tell the truth.
When we were playing, I hurt my little sister, but towards my mother I did not admit that it was my fault.
I was skiing with friends and they wanted to ski-jump. I did not want to be left behind, so I braced myself and followed them.
At an examination I got a bad mark just because of a small mistake. When I went to the lector and wanted to talk about that, he did not listen to me but sent me away.
My cut was run over by a car. After searching for a long time I found her lying in a kerb. I was rather shocked and angry with the driver.
When I watched a report about El Salvador on TV, I saw people who had been murdered by terrible methods.
At a cross-country race I wanted to take a short-cut (which is not allowed). I was caught and disqualified. All my friends had observed that.
During a discussion I reacted very aggressively and so I made it impossible to continue discussing.
When I am discussing something with a person and I realize that the other person is thinking over her own argumentations instead of listening, I become angry.
When we were on holidays my girl-friend had to leave me after 4 weeks and I had to stay in Turkey for some more weeks because I had a job there.
I studied medicine for several semesters. I was always disgusted when we had the dissecting-course. I cannot understand why some persons like this course.
Some time ago we had a tournament in our tennis-club. For tactical reasons I was chosen to play against a much weaker player than I am. Although it would have been enough simply to win the game, I defeated him extremely. This would not have been necessary.
I had a discussion with my girl-friend. After some time we started to quarrel and at least - to get the upper hand - I said that she was not as important to me as she might believe. Some time later I apologized for that.
I had to go to the dentist's. When he touched my tooth with his drill, I was terribly aftaid of the pain I would feel any moment.
I was very hungry and just wanted to start eating when a friend called me who usually talks for a long time. I was angry because I was prevented from eating.
My sister, whom I like very much, asked me for a favour which I refused her for some flimsy reason. Some time later I felt sorry for that and something like sadness.
On my way to a concert I went with a man who tried to molest me. At that moment I did not care much but now the impression fills me with disgust.
I asked my friend to come with me to a disco because I wanted to be with a person I know well. But when I amused myself with others I let my friend sit alone, although I had asked her to come.
I called my little sister to make her pick up her toy from the floor. When she still refused after I had asked her for the fourth time, we began to quarrel. At last the whole family was involved in this quarrel and trouble was brewing.
A teacher wanted to instill a certain opinion and a certain behaviour into myself, what I refused. I was afraid when I saw him.
A friend had promised to call me at a certain time. I expected his call impatiently but in vain.
Years ago on Christmas Eve I felt very sad because I realized for the first time how I missed my father who had died at Christmas Years ago.
A man whom I like, was drunk and tried to molest me.
It was the time when everybody spoke about and discussed Hainburg. I was also asked for my opinion. I was ashamed because I had no firm view of the whole thing and therefor was not able to join the conversation.
I was on a concert-tour and therefor seperated from my boy-friend. But I needed warmth which was given by a male member of the orchestra. My feelings towards him were not very deep, but his feelings were. I felt guilty when he said "I am not a radiator".
At about midnight I had to go by bike through Graz alone. On the whole it was a distance of several kilometers. A car followed me through the streets. Only when I went into a one-way street the car disappeared. The rest of my way home I was very afraid.
I had studied for almost one week for my physics-examination. With difficulty I passed the examn. I was angry about the teacher and also about myself because I had not remembered enough during the examn and because the time that I spent studying was wasted.
I had cared for a horse for 2 years. One day it was sold and I cried for several days because I was so sad.
A friend of mine was telling jokes which I felt to be very disgusting, especially because I was eating.
At a carneval-party I smooched with a man - some days later I was rather ashamed for that.
By fun I had a tussle with my sister. Suddenly I obviously hurt her unintentionally - and she ran out of the room, crying.
Many years ago I saw the film "Psycho" by Hitchcock for the first time. When I saw the film I was alone and afterwards I hardly dared to go to bed and hardly was able to sleep.
I had got a bad cold. My father said I must be crazy to go by motorbike at those temperatures. When I answered him that I did not care about a cold, he said that if I did not care for anything I could leave him (it was for the second time he said something like that).
I was at home alone when I realized that a young roe approached our house. I hid because I did not want to frighten it. It limped. Some time later, when I thought that it had already run away, I saw it lying on our terrace. I came nearer and saw that it was terribly wounded. I informed the ranger who said that the roe must have been attacked by dogs. He had to shoot it.
Several years ago I stayed with friends in the mountains for one week. We lived in a hut and had to cook for ourselves. One day my friend did not succeed in preparing spaghetti. That dinner was terrible - nevertheless we all ate rather much and had an improper and unsavoury conversation.
My mother and my grandmother were talking about one of my grandmother's friends whom I hardly know. I gave some deprecatory comments on him whereupon my grandmother told me that the man had died recently.
When I still went to primary-school, I went on a ski-trip with my family. After skiing we went to a restaurant for lunch. Suddenly my father said that he had forgotten something in the car. He gave me the key and asked me to go and get it. I had difficulties with the key which was already bent. I asked my mother to help me. When she tried to turn the key it broke. We had no second key. My mother was blamed for all that and I did not say a word.
When I was 8 years old my tonsils had to be operated on. This is not a complicated operation, but just before it started I was very afraid so that I will never forget it.
My parents are divorced, father pays alimony for me. Two years ago my sister who lives with father, suddenly asked mother for money. As she considered the amount of money my mother offered her too small, she brought an action against mother. I was terribly angry with my sister.
I arranged with a friend to go skating the next day. He asked me to wake him up by telephone at twelve o'clock because we had come home late in the morning. Next day I called him - he was not at home. As something like that had happened to me several times before, I came to the conclusion that one cannot rely on anybody and I felt very sad.
Whenever I see a spider or a snake I feel disgusted.
When I had slept with a boy for the first time I felt ashamed for three reasons. First, because I was only 13 years old, second, because I did not really like him, third, because he had caught me napping.
I had been together with my boy-friend for two and a half years, when he got to know another girl and not even tried to conceal that from me. I drew my conclusions and left him - I also felt a bit guilty for what had happened.
I was in a dark cellar and saw a glowing red point. I thought that it was a person with a cigarette - but it was only the red switch.
A man treated his dog very badly - he insulted and beated him until the dog kept lying on the floor with his tail drawn in.
A horse which I had liked very much was taken away.
On TV I saw a report about church in Amerika. A priest was shown who was performing miracles in front of the camera - I felt disgusted.
When I was a child, my uncle came to see us. I spit at him and ran out - I do not know the reason for that. My father came after me and insisted on my apologizing.
I quarreled with my boy-friend. He said it was unfair that I always started crying so that he had to give in.
I studied medicine for several semesters and at that time I developed a great fear of examinations. I was most afraid of my examination of anatomy. While other students were examined, I was dissecting. I was able to hear everything and was waiting with fear until it was my turn.
When I come home in the evening, the first thing I do is to sit down and smoke a cigarette. One day I found the flat in a totally desolate state. My girl-friend had wanted to tidy up but had not finished.
My son's mother told me that she wanted to move to Vienna and take the child with her. This means a rather long distance for me. My whole family was sad and dumbfounded so that my own feelings were intensified.
When a very near person got into an awkward situation but showed only helplessness and indecision.
I spent an evening with my girl-friend. When we wanted to go to bed I was totally drunk. Next morning I felt rather ashamed.
I threw away an object, which belonged to a friend, because I did not know what to do with it. My friend was very sad about that and I felt guilty.
My first public appearance in front of a rathe big audience.
I was angry about how the government acted concerning Hainburg, especially when I saw a discussion about it on TV.
Death of my father; he died of laryngeal cancer.
When I got indecent offers.
When I bought new skis; I was ashamed to tell the assistant that I am not good at skiing and therefor bought racing skis.
My schoolmates were teasing a pupil who was not able to defend himself very well; I should have taken his part.
Before an examination: I had the fealing that I had not learned enough.
Once when I was playing table tennis I was already sure that I would win , but at last I lost the game.
My grandfather's funeral.
In cinema I saw a film which showed how a person was torn out his guts when he was still alive.
I was sitting in a restaurant with friends. They asked me something which they thought I should know. Actually I know it, but at that time I was not able to remember it.
I had an appointment with a friend. I promised him to meet with him, but at last I did not without having informed him.
I had climbed on a cherry tree alone and there was a thick caterpillar beside my fingers. I feel disgusted by caterpillars and snakes. I was terribly afraid of the caterpillar crawling on my fingers. Out of the fear I was almost unable to climb down.
A friend of mine told other people that I was a slattern (because of an occurence that had happened some time ago). When I heard about that I was very angry.
My grandfather was seriously ill, he had only a few days left to live. I had always loved him, but never told him. When I saw him for the last time, I had the feeling that I had omitted so many things I could not do again. - There was a fly sitting on his forehead and he was too weak to drive it away. I was very sad when I saw that.
Normally my father never tells vulgar jokes, we do not speak about sexual things, too. But once he told such a vulgar joke, that I was really disgusted. He did not tell me, but some of his friends, but I was present.
When I was 6 or 7 years old, I pulled down the trousers of a friend because I wanted to know what she looked like. My mother watched that and (as a punishment) sent me into the house. We never spoke about that; I think it was as embarassing for her as it was for me.
When I told my boy-friend, who loved me very much, that I wanted to put an end to our relationship. a long time before I told him that and also a long time after that I felt guilty, because I had hurt him so much.
After a footballmatch I went home by car, a friend drove. I did not realize that he was drunk until we were in the car. He was madly racing. Several times we were in dangerous situations and I told him to be cautious, but he did not care.
A friend of mine uses butter instead of oil when he is cooking. I am always angry about that, because it is an unnecessary luxury. Recently we both were cooking and he wanted to use butter again. When I had already put the oil into the pan, he poured it out again and put the butter into the pan.
After some friends had come to see me. They had stayed for several days and we had got on very well. When they had left, I had a feeling of emptyness.
I had a quarrel with a friend who lived with me in the same flat. He moved out. Before he went he invited me and some friends for a drink. At last he was totally drunk and smelled disgusting. Besides, he told lies about us and behaved as if he was to be pitied.
I went to see a friend. There were other people, too, and everybody brought some present. I was the onlyone who brought nothing. My friend was very hospitable and did not show anything - although I knew how he felt.
With a group of handicapped people we went to a party. When we wanted to leave we were not able to find one of these people. I had told his mother that we would leave at 4.30 p.m., actually it was planned for 3.30 p.m. Therefore there was a delay.
After my boy-friend had beaten me for the first time, I always trembled when somebody knocked on my door or when I heard steps coming nearer.
I had not eaten anything for 2 days to be able to pay the fine for my fiancT. But he stayed in another town and spent one thousand shillings in the restaurant during the same time.
I had to give up my love, because it did not work out well.
I was insulted without a reason by a drunk man.
My boyfriend had drunk too much and beaten me. When I had to show the letter the door, which was almost crashed, I felt ashamed.
I spied on my fiancT and was terribly jealous. Later I saw that there was no reason for that.
My mother, my sister and I were sitting in the sitting room and watching a film on TV. My father came home drunk and told us to turn off. When we did not do that he switched off the fuse and started shouting. We were sitting in the dark and I was afraid that he would do us a harm.
I bought an aquarium which made me much pleasure. I was watching the fish when my father came in and asked me how much I had payed for it. He said he would not pay for the current that it would require.
When I was 9 years old, I got a cat, but after 3 days he died. I was very sad, because I had nursed him and taken him to the veterinary's - but in vain. Although I had had him only for a short time I had liked him very much.
When my grandmother was about 80 years old, she lived with us for several years. I saw her illness. I did not even want to breath the air that smelled of her presence.
I am left-handed. When I attended the first form, we learned to write with pens. I smeared everything I had written. All my friends had written well and wanted to know why the teacher was looking at my note-book. I was ashamed.
When I was 4, we spent our holidays at the seaside. My sister and her friend wanted to go to a bay on an undangerous way. I wanted to arrive before them and went on a shorter, but more dangerous way. When I arrived, I found nobody there. I waited for a long time, but nobody came. On my way back I met my mother who had been searching for me desperatly. She did not scold me, but I saw how much she had worried (herself).
When we had swimming instruction, we had to take a header from the springboard. I usually refused to do that, but at least I was forced to.
When I played in a chess championship, I was disturbed by other people. I asked them to be quiet, but in vain.
When my flute-teacher was replaced by a new one.
When I was a child, I was sometimes forced to eat things that disgusted me.
When I was 12 years old, some friends of our family had come to watch TV. I lay on the floor and moved my pelvis. When the other people had gone, my mother told me that it had looked as if I had wanted to make sex.
When I shirked the gymnastic lesson I met the director of our school who asked me what I was doing.
I lived in a flat with a couple. The woman was so jealous of me, that she sometimes had crying fits. Eventually her husband could not stand that any more and wanted to kill me.
I have a very big family. At my grandmother's funeral we all met and everybody pretended mourning. In reality it was like a fashion-show: everybody wanted to show himself.
Often a dog which is treated very badly by his owner comes to us.
After a pleasant evening with friends in my flat, one of them did not want to leave, because he wanted to sleep with me. He said that he had fallen in love with me, that he felt alone and so on.
I look up to my Karate-teacher. When I came to a training lesson after I had not trained for one week, I was totally stiff. I was ashamed.
My sisters asked me to fetch them at a discotheque which is 5 km off. There was a thick fog and snowfall. There was not enough room in the car for all of them and they asked me to go there once again. When I did not do that they had a way to make me feel guilty.
Before my final examination.
When my mother kept me in leading-strings.
When my father died.
When I worked at the life-saving sevice and saw the first exitus.
When I made a fool at an examination.
When I had wrongly explained someone an important exemple for an examination.
Before I went to the urologist's I was afraid for several reasons: because it was for the first time, because the medical check-up might be painful, because of the uncertainty and because someone had informed me about it.
My girl-friend did not understand me; I was angry with myself because I had problems when we seperated - I could not resign myself to it.
A friend who was 22 years old died.
When I was in the army, we got a certain dish for dinner that I do not like at all. We were not obliged to eat, but I was very hungry.
I had to pay a fine because of speeding.
A friend who was 22 years old, died of leukemia; I had not known that he was so ill and therefore had not cared.
I was afraid before I went to the doctor's.
I had an accident with damage to the car body.
My dog died of a cerebral tumor.
When I worked at the life-saving service I was disgusted by a patient whose outward appearance was distasteful.
When I was a child, I had a medical check-up. I had to undress myself and was examined by several doctors.
When a classmate wanted to sit down, I pulled his chair away, so that he was slightly injured.
When I had my first oral examination after a long time; especially one day before the examination when I had the feeling that I had not studied enough and had not enough time to make up for it.
I heard friends grumbling at me in an adjoining room, although they had behaved in a friendly way when I was present.
When my brother died.
I read about a murderer who brutalized his victims by cutting open their stomaches and taking out their bowels.
When I was a child: I had told my mother a lie and she found it out.
My father had been alone for a long time because my mother and sister were on holiday. I had not seen him for a long time and when I finally called him I realized that he had been very sad about that.
When I had to go through lonely streets in the middle of the night.
My boy-friend had promised me to come home at about 10 p.m. He did not return until midnight and had consumed a lot of alcohol.
A relative, whom I like very much, left for the United States.
When I was walking on the street, I slipped on the dung of a dog. I did not fall down, but I felt disgusted by the bad smell on my sole.
Some persons, who are important for me, came to see me and I had not washed the dishes.
I was looking after my cousin's little daughter; she fell down, was slightly injured and cried vociferously.
I got lost in a foreign town. I did not know the language of that country and it took me hours to meet my friends again.
A friend had promised to get me a book which was very important for my work, but she forgot it.
My dog, whom I had had for eleven years, died. I watched his soporification.
A drunk man bumped into me and wanted to grip me. Fortunately I was able to break loose.
When I stayed on a nudism beach, a man was watching me in a disagreeable way. I had the feeling that he was examining my body.
I had a quarrel with my father. He was depressed, because somebody had treated him injustly. As we had an argument, it was impossible for me to help him.
After a motor accident (I was the frong-seat-passenger) I spit blood.
At an office an application that I had made was turned down because of a scrupulous interpretation of the rules.
My uncle died - I felt sad at the funeral.
I saw a drunk man tottering behind his wife and insulting her awfully.
After an oral examination I shook the professor's hand, but he had only stretched it out for my ball-point-pen.
I spread abroad an intimate secret.
My fear appeared in the form of jealousy. I was afraid that my girl-friend had fallen in love with another man, I was afraid to lose her.
I was angry when I watched a ski-race. All the Austrian skiers dropped out.
During my holiday I met again a friend who had tried to commit suicide. She had just left hospital, her lips were trembling, she looked miserable.
On my way home in the middle of the night I saw a drunk man and a woman who were quarreling, beating each other, shouting and so on. I felt disgusted especially because they treated each other in such a degrading way.
My girl-friend and I live in one flat with another couple. We get along very well and usually we share everything. Once we two were sitting in our room and eating a cake when the others came in.
I was on a visit to friends who have a baby. The baby was crying in another room, but soon it became quieter and it seemed that it would fall asleep. I went into the room where the baby was lying - and it started crying again.
When I wanted to go into a house, there was suddenly a big dog standing beside me. It was hardly moving, but I did not know how it would react later on.
My father had bought too many goods for his shop, there was not enough space to store them.
A friend died of cancer when he was 18 years old.
At a party I saw two persons having a fight. The aggressions and the hate between these persons produced an unpleasant impression on me.
During a discussion I said something rather stupid and unnecessary.
When I was driving my car, I wanted to pick something from the floor of the car and drove into the guide-rail. I thought that I should not have done that and felt guilty.
I was awakened by a dream in the middle of the night. I dreamt that a stranger was in my house.
My boy-friend had promised me to come an 10 a.m. - he was 3 hours late.
When I heard about a murder of a 16-year-old girl.
When I broke the piggy bank of my brother and my mother discovered that.
I was sitting in a restaurant with friends and I knew that in the meantime my girl-friend must have come to my flat and found the door closed.
Recently my younger brother disappeared for two days without leaving a trace. Usually he tells me when he wants to do something like that, therefore I was afraid that something had happened to him.
I played chess with my 12-year-old brother. I made a stupid mistake - and he won!
It was only once that I really felt sad: at my grandfather's funeral (after a long time of suffering he had died of cancer).
3 years ago I served in the army. Once a collegue denounced me because of a delict, which is usually committed. I was arrested for 3 days. I still detest this man.
Once I went home totally drunk and roused all our neighbours from sleep.
When I was in the puberty I smashed the favourite toy of my little brother because of a fit of rage.
Before an oral examination - which I did not take eventually.
A friend had promised me to give me a lift to Graz. To be sure I called her before we went. She told me that she had just promised another person to give him a lift.
I am sad because some relations to friends are not very good.
I think I have hardly had a situation where I felt disgusted. Perhaps once, when I saw a big spider.
When my boy-friend left me and I wanted to persuade him to stay.
I promised my mother to come home on her birthday, but at last I was prevented. Nevertheless it would have been possible to go but I did not.
Unknown person knocking repeatedly on backdoor when no one else was at home.
Boyfriend "chatting up" another girl.
A friend breaking up with her boyfriend.
Accidentally seeing a friend in a compromising situation with a stranger.
Parents finding out I smoked.
Not thanking relatives for a favor done.
Movement in bush late at night while camping.
Heated discussion with spouse concerning new house.
Loss of close relative.
The price I was charged for work on my car.
Caused fault in V.C.R. by not following instructions carefully.
Losing my temper with my spouse.
A car came very close to hitting me whilst I was crossing the street.
A friend whom I had gone out of my way to do something for did not bother to acknowledge my efforts, and treated me badly thereafter.
A girlfriend ended our relationship in an abrupt and unexpected manner.
A friend once reacted childishly (he is 23 yearrs old) to my not responding in his favour to a request, that is: he asked me for some money I refused, and his reaction was quite childish.
On one occasion whilst engaging in horseplay with my girlfriend, I caused her to be physically harmed.
I borrowed money from a friend and did not pay back the debt when I said I would.
Before giving a seminar to a rather large audience.
Being stopped by the police for a traffic offence which I don't think I committed.
Death of a parent.
At a social event when none of the guests would help to serve food or clear tables. It was all beneath them.
The mother of a small child found me shaking the child in exasperation, because I couldn't get it to sleep.
I was a passenger in a jumbo-jet which was accelerating down the runway and almost at the point of take-off, when the pilot suddenly braked and put the engines into reverse thrust, in an obviously urgent attempt to stop the aircraft. The hostesses show signs of concern and my first thought was that something was on the runway in our path and that we were in danger of hitting it.
A person walking his dog allowed it to defecate on the footpath outside my house. Although it had happened before, this was the first time I had witnessed it. All the skills I had learnt from PY 263 were thrown out the window when his indifference to my protestation was obvious to me.
While walking through an old mining area, I unwittingly disturbed a wallaby which, in its resultant flight, accidentally fell down a deep mine shaft. On investigation it seemed uninjured, but it was impossible for the wallaby to get out, and also for me to get it out of the shaft. To prevent its suffering a slow death, I shot it.
A colleague and I were sitting on a bench next to an old man in a shopping centre. the old man coughed and spluttered somewhat, then with his fingers removed the resultant phlegm and mucous from his mouth, and transferred it onto the armrest of the bench.
I had promised to contact a friend about a particular matter by a certain date, then thought no more about it until the friend reminded me after the date had passed.
A neighbour complained about smoke from my backyard incinerator entering his house after a change of wind direction. I lit the fire after originally checking that the wind would not blow the smoke in that direction.
When I heard that there had been some women raped at uni, just near where I usually park my car and walk by myself at night. Although I wasn't in danger it unnerved me for days and I was fearful whenever walking through the area.
When the person I am going out with let me down in a situation that I was depending on them, and didn't show respect or care.
When I found out that a person I went to school with had died in a car accident.
When I heard about the way a parent of a friend had mistreated him, and caused a great instability.
When I realised that I had become too emotionally involved with the person I'm going out with, and when I began to like someone else and questioned whether I really care about person I'm with.
When I came very late one night (or morning !) and my parents were waiting, not so much angrgy as disappointed.
I was walking home late at night from lectures and someone deliberately started following me. It was dark and I was scared.
At one of my close friends saying she didn't like the way I am nice to people I don't know, or who have been nasty to me.
Leaving Melbourne to move interstate - leaving relatives and friends behind.
Disgust at a girl I know for continually feeling sorry for herself and never acting positively to do something about her problems.
I am ashamed of the horrible way I used to treat my little sister.
Often I forget to give my immediate family birthday presents.
I do not recall being scared in the near past.
As for disgust.
Girl I was fond of did not initiate conversation as I expected in tutorial.
I realised that someone was insidiously attempting to shit me off I was disgusted with him for doing so, because I afforded him with no excuse to do so.
I do not seem to feel emotion such as shame, guilt or fear - far out !
I cannot recall feeling guilty in the near past.
REMARK - SUBJECT MAY NOT HAVE TAKEN THE EXERCISE VERY SERIOUSLY.
When my mother was angry with me over my friends and boyfriend.
Anger towards my lover for being late.
The death of my twin sister - suicide.
Disgust with myself for consistently making foolish errors in communicating with others (asking for 1/2 Kg of nuts when I only wanted 50 g).
I had been rude to my mother at a time when she needed comforting, not anger (death of my sister).
Guilt - because I had not written to my sister for months before she died.
A workmate and I had been antagonistic with each other for some weeks - he had reacted violently to my criticisms of his work standards.
I had been having a heated argument with a lover - whose intention was that we should marry in the near future - and was rejected by her when I started to cry. When I stopped crying for a moment she said "There, have you got it all out now ?".
I was alone in my parents' house, having made plans to spend the afternoon with a lover (plans which the lover cancelled), watching a movie and considering my life and circumstances - pressures of examinations in particular.
I discovered some pornographic literature in a workmates drawers. The literature featured pictures of naked women defecating on one another.
Upon returning from a journey of about two weeks duration, I found that a collection of pornographic literature had been removed from my room I had previously thought that no one was aware of the existence of this material.
My mother and father had forbidden me to ride my scooter on the road, and I had transgressed (together with the "wild" kids from across the street) by riding my scooter down a steep hill near our house. My mother sent the boy next door to collect me, and I was severely scolded.
After going through a glass door, I sustained a number of serious cuts which were gaping open.
The mother of a person with whom we had been sharing a housing accused me of trying to rip her off over payment of bills in the house.
Watching "11 am". They had a programme on the starving refugees. Their plight was a source of sadness for me.
A girl with whom I was staying having sex with a person for about 3 nights running, and then with his brother the following night, and back again.
During an argument an acquaintance accused me of having insulted her parents by having had sex in their house which they overheard.
A girl whom I hadn't seen for a period of time told me that she had been pregnant and had an abortion - I was the father.
When my boyfriend was leaving to go home one night, I had a very deep sense of uneasiness and an unwarranted fear that I wouldn't see him again.
Anger with boyfriend's best friend for alienating me and blaming me for personality changes in my boyfriend and changes in my boyfriend's attitude to him and his obvious egoistical attitude himself in doing so. I also lost one of my best friends - his girlfriend.
Death of paternal grandmother to whom I was very close - died of cancer.
Disgust with oneself after being intoxicated enough to go to bed with a stranger.
I feel shame every time I think of very dear friends of mine abroad who were family to me for a year, and now 2 years later, I have attempted, but have not actually gone through with corresponding with them, to express my feelings and gratitude.
After being told that an ex-boyfriend had been hurt by my wearing something he had given me when I was with another guy. I was unaware of my actions really, as I had not considered the fact that he had given it to me, and might see me. I still respected his opinions of me.
I was on my surf ski. Rather large waves to strong current separated me from my ski and we both began to drift slowly (actually rather quickly) away to sea. The direction I was drifting in was taking me straight over a reef on which rather large sharks were constantly being caught. (I was alone with no one to help me).
I was enjoying the company of bird life while I was eating lunch in a park when a group of people began throwing sticks at some of the birds - for no reason other than the satisfaction of seeing them being scared away.
When I left my sister's house after staying there for a few days. She has two little boys, and they are very warm people (the family). At the time, I was in need of this sort of contact, and I grew very fond of children (no, I'm not a paedophiliac).
When my father revealed inconsistent morals.
When I woke up after a night of drinking I couldn't remember and discovered several untoward things had occurred.
Leaving home when my mother thought I had no reason to go and felt that I was rejecting her. She is a constantly depressed person (a bit of a worry-wort) and I felt guilty about having given her this additonal problem.
My brother and I were driving to Brisbane when he drove back onto the road, perhaps cutting off another car but not noticeable - this driver did his best to drive us off the road for about 1/2 an hour.
I was at the corner shop, which I patronise regularly I had only a $ 50 note and I purchased about $ 3 worth of goods that I really needed - the keeper made sarcastic remarks to others about people using him to cash notes.
My mother died of cancer after a 4 year illness - I think the most pregnant moment of sadness was the next morning, just as the sun rose.
A lecturer in great detail spoke about his sexual experiences.
I was walking outside the union refec after rain when I tripped and fell.
I stole 5c from my mother's purse for a choo-choo bar - I was 6.
Fear of sexual overtures from a close relative in the family.
When my rights to use a shared house had been usurped by co-owners out of pure selfishness.
At rejection / being ignored by a loved person held in great esteem.
Viewing the nuclear war film "Threads".
Following heavy stirring / ridiculing a close friend who was very vulnerable to such attack - inspiring fierce, defensive counter-attack.
Guilt at having pressed another person to expose/explore his personal weaknesses/faults, to the extent that the other person was made to feel terrible/defensive.
I was walking to my car at night and thought that I was being followed.
I walked in on a teenage patient of mine (I work in a hospital) as he was going through my office drawers and he had removed money from my purse.
Death of grandmother.
When I became aware that an acquaintance had stolen from friends.
Caught cheating on a diet.
I had shown anger toward my dog and he was killed later that day.
Stranded in the north of Fraser Island with a submerged 4 WD hire vehicle.
Not being alowed on a school camp with the class I'd been in for 11 years (I had stayed down due to illness)
At the funeral of a friend about 20 years old, who was killed in a hit-and-run motorcycle accident.
A female friend was violently ill on the return journey from a wedding reception we attended. Getting her out of the car when home took quite a while.
Cheating in a minor geography exam at school.
I wasn't able to see my girlfriend on her birthday and because I was late arriving home from uni, I didn't phone her as arranged at a certain time (she rang in the meantime).
Taking a trip to crocokile country I fell out of the boat and was motivated by fear of being eaten to perform great swimming feats.
Last night - finding that someone in the house had eaten an entire packet of almonds I had bought for a family treat.
The loss of my father as he died of a massive and sudden heart attack.
When after a party celebrating a friend's 21st birthday - upon leaving I found 10 people outside throwing up and further 4 unconscious.
Having had a very heated argument with my sister - I began hitting her about the head with a newspaper I was holding.
A situation where I stole a friends wife's wallet.
When at school, I threw a duster at another child and hit him in the head. The blow caused a flesh wound and I was afraid of what would happen to me when the teacher found out the circumstances.
Finding that a subordinate at work was still not willing to cooperate after discussions to try and resolve an attitude problem.
Death of the family dog.
We had friends to dinner and one of them threw a beer bottle in the air, and it bounced on an expensive table and damaged the table .The person did not apologise.
After making a joke about a friend's marriage that was too personal.
Carried out a vandalistic act on some windows at an old army location.
As a child (i.e. 5-7) hiking in reasonably rugged bush and becoming lost for a duration of 5-7 hours.
Following an argument with my brother, he broke my golf clubs.
Leaving the house myself and a female friend had shared for 6-8 months because of the friendship which developed and our approach to each other in occasional instances of several personal crises.
Discovering a good friend had lied to me, resulting in a detrimental relationship with another person.
No specific instances - perhaps having lied as a child resulting in someone else being blamed for the event.
Leaving University in 1982 following exclusion and lying to parents/friends about reasons for leaving, i.e. lying about the fact of having been excluded.
Car accident. Travelling as a passenger along narrow bitumen road at night - trying to overtake semi-trailer. The truck pulled over onto our side and we hit the wet dirt, swerved back into the truck, back onto the verge, over a guide post and into a ditch.
At school when I had a shouting argument with a friend over my ability to carry out a particular duty in the correct way without harming her.
Looking up end-of-semester results, and finding I'd failed three out of seven (subjects).
When I found out some family friends were embezzelling the company they worked for - using company petrol and food supplies and claiming furniture and crockery.
When my best friend foud out I'd been lying about something I'd been doing behind her back.
After having told an authority figure a very large lie I was told she believed me, because she believed I had never lied to her.
Walking along with a dog barking at you and following you.
Doing a group assignment and being left to do all the work and take the blame for any mistakes.
After training for an Australian championship competition for a year and then injuring myself 2 weeks before the competiotion.
Someone ruining someone's property just for the fun of it.
A friend giving me an expensive Christmas gift while I gave her a cheap one.
Talking about someone behind their back.
I was in about Grade 7, I came home from school one day and was told that my mother had skin cancer and would have to go to the hospital straight away.
Brother provoked anger. It was when mother and father were away and we had to look after ourselves. He accused me of being selfish and a snob.
Shifted from Melbourne to Brisbane. All my old school friends gave me a party and I had to say good-bye to them all.
Was picking up my father from work and on passing through the Valley watched three prostitutes walk up and down waiting for someone to pick them up. Clothing was disgusting.
Had a very good friend. We grew apart I found myself running her down to other friends.
Guilt after fighting with my sister (for) telling her how bad she was.
When I was on holiday, walking back to where I was staying, at night, and two men started closely following me. There was nobody around that I could run to.
When my mother and father split up I was angry: I felt deprived and "different" from other children at school.
I was terribly upset when my kitten got hit by a car. He didn't die, but for several weeks we thought he might have to be put down.
When I heard that one of my good friends, when at a party, had got herself involved with some very undesirable characters and was experimenting with drugs.
When I hadn't studied for an exam, so I pretended to be sick so I wouldn't have to go to school. I lied to my mother - she realized I had been lying when she got home from work and found that I had been over to a friend's place.
When I was young, I stole some money from my mother's purse. It wasn't very much, but I can remember when she found it gone I felt very guilty.
First day at University (I didn't know what to expect).
At a school dance when my supposed "best friend" kept walking away from me whenever I came near her.
At end of school - function to "celebrate" ? Leaving friends who I'd known for up to 12 years.
While watching a film of an experimental operation on a cat's brain in which the cat had metal pieces protruding from its eyes, mouth etc. to keep the head stable while being cut open.
When my mother asked me to do a job for her which does not require much effort on my part, yet I refused for selfish reasons and saw her have to do it.
After having been told not to take the car, I took it anyway and felt guilty about having taken it.
Going to a disco by myself to wait for some friends. We had separated and hadn't planned where to meet. I wasn't sure if they were even going to this place so I felt very conscious of being alone.
A person ignored my advice, did not pay any attention to what was saying. She acted as though I wasn't even there. We were doing group work so everybody had the right to speak yet she just ignored me. She made me feel insignificant.
A friend of mine is having psychiatric problems because of his mother's death ages ago. He is really quiet and because it relates back to his childhood I feel sadness for him. He doesn't lead a normal life and it just seems unfair.
At school, when the only thing people my age could think of was getting rolling drunk. They couldn't have a good time without firstly getting drunk.
A girl I was with yelled something out to this group of guys I knew. It sounded really childish.
I didn't tell my parents exacly what had made me so late in getting home one night. I left out some details and somehow, I felt I had lied to them.
When cleaning up a pile of junk under our house, a huge spider (a "Jungle Spider") ran out near me. (I do not like even small spiders).
At the hardware store, trying to convert Imperial to Metric measurements, I made a mistake, and didn't buy enough tiles for the bathroom. I was angry at myself, because I hope to be a Maths teacher.
My father died last year after an 8-week severe illness.
During the PY 102 film session on Tuesday, one of the films shown  was of an experiment on a live cat involving strapping it into a machine for possibly days, and doing things to its brain.
Several years ago I was caught riding the train without a ticket. The station-mistress treated me like a criminal almost.
I was walking quite quickly and unthinking through a children's playground, when a toddler ran in front of me I knocked him over and he hit his head quite hard and began crying.
A man was yelling outside my window at 3.00 am, yelling threats, though not to me.
Going away for the weekend, leaving my College room open - when I returned several friends had had a party there, leaving the mess.
Passing away of my father.
At a party where the boys were telling revolting stories about the girls they'd been with.
Getting slightly intoxicated at the 1984 I.C.C. Ball.
I felt guilty about going out when I should have been studying for a presentation I had to give on Wednesday the next week.
Walking around the University at night by myself, having been previously warned of rapes, etc.
When I received the mark well above requirements for the course I wanted to enter, yet I was not accepted - anger at the injustice of it, because I didn't receive early release of H.S.C. marks.
When I left all my friends at school (break up) knowing we would probably all go our separate ways, and none see one another for a long time.
At my father, when he yelled and accused my sister's friend (over the phone) of doing something he didn't do, or know anything about.
When I was little and didn't own up to placing a lolly on the varnish, this pulled it all off and I didn't admit my guilt.
I felt guilty when I skipped a two hour practical class I knew I would miss out on more information which I did not know, but I couldn't cope with going.
At the tender age of eleven a friend and I left a party and proceeded to walk through dark and secluded streets of a bad neighborhood to find a telephone (recent spate of Horror Movie watching had occurred).
In a situation whereby a friend's actions were deliberately against my wishes and (with) no regard to my feelings.
I broke up with my boyfriend of seven months, but it was a very "indepth" relationship and so after feelings of grief and loss were over I felt an immense sadness.
A situation where I ignored my beliefs and principles for a trip of whimsy.
I bacame involved with a boy for a very brief moment not because I liked him but because I needed some sort of company. The consequences weren't as I expected and caused me much shame.
Ignoring my parents'wishes.
Having my luggage checked at Customs.
When a friend wouldn't speak to me and wouldn't tell me why.
Thinking about friends overseas.
Hearing of a filthy situation over the phone.
Sending pictures home when I'd put on so much weight.
Borrowed someone else's towel without asking.
When I was bringing in the shopping and nearly stood on a snake.
When I was accused of "bitching" about best friend.
At our Senior dinner - separated from school friends, nothing will ever be the same again.
At a night club watching little tarts trying to earn a living.
When I was little - Mum caught me telling a lie about who broke the cup.
When I used to tell Mum I was going somewhere else than where I was (going).
When I was caught in an elevator and it got stuck between floors.
When I was put into a tennis team below my standard.
When my father died.
When I have seen people very drunk and making fools of themselves.
When my friends were rude to a girl.
When I was rude to my mother and got angry with her.
When somebody broke into our home one night when my mother was out, and my sister and I had just gone to bed.
When my sister lost my favourite jumper at a party and failed to tell me for several days after it happened.
When my father passed away of cancer, I was extremely saddened. He was not very old, which made matters worse. The actual death was horrendous, but the moving funeral saddened me more so.
When walking along the beach with my boyfriend, we saw 2 people having sex on the sand dunes in full view of everyone. It was the fact that they chose that area in which to have sex, that disgusted me.
When I told my sister I had slept with my boyfriend, and she at first was mad at me I then felt shame for this act, but not guilt.
I stayed at the Coast for a weekend with friends. My brother came to drive me home, but was rude, and in a hurry to rejoin his friends. I was embarrassed because the family involved was extremely nice, and hospitable to him.
I allowed my then boyfriend to touch me, if only briefly.
I ate 12 biscuits one night after tea while watching TV - I don't know why.
I was seven years old and swimming outside the flags at the Gold Coast. I was caught in a rip and taken out about 100 m. I couldn't swim too well, but an older friend (17) swam out and saved me.
While at school I had to write an essay for doing something wrong that I didn't do. I wrote the essay about how I was mistreated and got Saturday morning detention along with a few other kids, but they didn't show up.
When one of my closest friends died unexpectantly.
When I saw a male engineer one year and came back to find he was now a female (I don't know it/them personally).
When Dad went to a Sports Day and was the only parent there, and he was cheering for us.
We owned a shop and I used to serve in it occasionally. We sometimes took lollies out of the stand and Dad caught me one day.
Lying to a friend about something that was trivial.
I had promised to do a task for someone that was close to me, and from the outset I knew it was important that I do it, but when it came to it, I let them down.
Walking in the dark by myself.
Getting terrible meals, but paying heaps for them.
When felt lonely about writing my family.
Person talking about a situation while eating.
Felt it after I spoke terribly (got mad at) the person who is the most important in my life.
Not giving up something for Lent.
Every time I see a spider or a snake.
My younger brother and I had been fighting over the TV/Video. He kept on turning it on and off every 2 seconds and was not listening to my authority and was being cheeky. We fought and I ended up in tears - he'd won.
The first time I left home.
On a camp - boys and girls in one cabin. One guy forced himself upon another girl and was having intercourse, while the girl in the bunk beneath was pretending to be asleep and not be ill.
When my new jeans split while I was with the youth group.
When I was 17, I told Mum I came in at midnight, when really it was 3.30.
Left alone in dark when young.
Can't remember exact example.
Close relative is dying of cancer - found out last week.
Doctors ignored relative who complained about pain, and is now dying of cancer.
One of my best friends'fiancT broke off the relationship because his feelings for me were stronger than for her. I felt the same for him, but did not really encourage him to leave her or stay with her - still felt shame.
After the fact that made me ashamed I felt sadness.
A person that eat half of a cockroach in a cake without knowing it.
A situation where we were the center of attention, and things happened without my control on them, that showed our disagreement, and ignorance.
When I let a person assume a fault that I committed.
When I dreamed that I was being attacked by a friend.
When I was left by the person I loved without any reason.
To fight with a sister and to know that she doesn't care.
To be kissed by soembody I didn't expect to.
A day when I was getting out of the shower I covered only the front part of my body with a towel (I was 7 years old), and I didn't see that my cousin was in the room.
When I finished a love affair where I was responsible of the sad end.
I felt fear when once I was asleep and dreamed that I was dying asfixiated by a cardiac attack, I was afraid and woke up desperate. Altough I wasn't afraid of death I was afraid.
I feel it when I see that somebody is traying to made a stupid of me.
I felt it when I was at home and saw a discussion without sense between my parents.
When I see all the putridness of people. The fact is the catarrh and spits that whash the streets of S.Paulo.
I felt it when I felt that I was being observed as an object of pleasure (sexual) when I opened and took off a shirt in a classroom at P.V.C.
I felt it when playing I pushed my brother and he fell down cutting himself in pieces of tile.
When I almost drowned myself in the municipal swimming pool that I use to go almost not excaping.
I was with my girlfriend when some guys that I don't like made fuss at my girl.
The death of my grandfather.
To go through the underground way at suburb station of LAPA. Poor people and the ambulants badly dressed up in a passage badly kept.
In a fight with my girlfriend in a luncheonette where everybody stared at me in such a way that I had to leave it.
I pointed a failure of a friend of mine.
When I got in jungle where there was a great number of snakes.
When an unknown person provoked me verbaly and physically.
When my team lost a championship.
A dirty person, smelling bad and unknown laying on me.
I confused a girl with another.
Once when I complained I caused a great discussion between my parents.
I learned that my girlfriend had been unjustly missed from work.
I got separated from the man I loved.
An acquaintance of mine revealed himself in a light unexpected to me.
Once as a school girl I was copying at a class work and my teacher spotted me.
I was in a sanatorium. In front of me a boy fell down from his invalid's chair. I could help him but I didn't. I felt like being paralysed.
When I was to sit for my first entrance exam. I had fear of a possible failure.
I was indignant at the unimpartiality shown by the referees at the football match between Bulgaria and France.
When I got separated from the man I loved so much.
When I was watching some scenes from the Bertoluchi's film "Twentieth Century".
When I was a school girl and I copied at a class work.
When I have sometimes been unfair to my parents, when I have happened to deceive them over some trifling things.
When I come home late at night.
When I talk to silly, petty-minded and unmanageable people.
When my friend (girl) went abroad for two years.
When I happen to witness some sadistic acts.
When I have a plain appearance.
When someone is accused or punished instead of me.
I was bitten by a dog.
My grandfather's funeral.
I was alone at home on New Year's Eve.
I was on a walk with my child when I met a drunk woman.
I was unaware that I had walked the streets in torn trousers.
Once I worked as a designer. A fitter was hard hit in a damage that occurred at the building site I had designed.
A grenade blew out next to me.
An unjust calumny concerning me.
Unrealisation of the desired profession (aviator).
Disgust with a subordinate.
I lied to a friend.
Betraying someone's trust.
Friend's fiancT left her for me.
When in a car accident where car was total wipe off (wipe out, or write off).
With self at losing an important game that I should have won.
Death of grandfather (unexpected).
Someone smoking on Electric train (Electric trains are non-smoking) with alcohol smell coming from person.
When bathing at surf beach & lost togs.
Promising someone to do their job and then not being able to do it due to transport troubles.
Introducing myself at a first tutorial this year at University.
I was angry at a University tutorial when an ignorant loudmouth persisted in trying to dominate the conversation.
I left my home in Melbourne to come to Q'land to study and before I hopped in the car I hugged my mother and shook hands with my father. Sensing immediately my father's sadness, I also had a flood of the same emotion.
When one of my parents verbally, personally abused the other.
I felt something akin to shame after a heavy night of drinking, along with waking up with a woman I had just met whose husband was an epileptic. I was later to know that she knew my mother.
I felt guilty about talking negatively, and agreeing with a person who was doing likewise, about a non-present third person.
As a child - stepping on a rusty nail - being told that I might get tetanus.
As a child - about 8 years old - walking across a paddock - being set upon by another boy who claimed it was "his land" - being intimidated by the boy - crying, being punched, etc.
As a child - having a dog - it getting a disease and dying.
Being in a Malaysian city with my girlfriend coming out of a picture theatre - seeing her rush up to a taxi that a very old sick man was trying to get to. Seeing her take over the taxi.
As a child - being sent to the shop by mother - buying some chocolate - getting caught by mother.
As a child - accidentally stepping on a pet guinea-pig - it dying.
One night going downstairs, and hearing a strong stirring of brances, which was not the wind.
I was informed by my flatmate that, when we'd moved into our flat, she'd expected us to buy our food separetely - this event actually happened some 5 months after our sharing began. Prior to this, she had said nothing.
Having to decide on a termination of a pregnancy, after discussing it with friends, family and the man involved.
When a friend didn't invite her own parents to her Graduation ceremony.
Saying something quite rude, but in jest, about a photograph of someone, but it didn't quite turn out that way.
When I was about 14 years old, I "borrowed" a can of drink from the refrigerator, intending to replace it later that day. But it was found missing before I could do anything - no one owned up to its disappearance.
On embarking on University life. I came from a different city and did not know anybody at the Uni. I was frightened because my well known and loved friends, also all my security had been taken away.
When my brothers were being cruel to my boyfriend, because his flat-mate bent back one of my brother's fingers. It wasn't his fault.
Upon moving away from home for the first time to a different city, I felt no longer "under the wing" of my parents even though they would always be there to help me. I felt a sense of loss, I was now all alone in the world, responsible for my own actions.
I was sitting at a rock concert, listening to an extremely loud band. A tiny baby in a crawler had been left by his young mother, right out in the sun next to a speaker, and was screaming - probably in pain.
Because I was lazy and unthoughtful I did not get into contact with a very close friend when she shifted from the Gold Coast to Brisbane, for a month, despite her efforts to contact me. I felt shamed when I finally confronted her again.
When I felt I had let my parents down, especially my mother, by having sexual intercourse for the first time, and a few times after that. Also, when I went on the Pill.
Before Uni started, I had to leave home and take up residence in Brisbane (the "big smoke") leaving home, my family, and moving to such a big place was quite intimidating at first, and I was anxious about it.
My flatmate was asking questions about my relationship with my boyfriend, whether I wasn't treating him as unfairly as I claimed he'd been treating me. As a result, I was angered, and became defensive.
A very close friend from Victoria visited me over the holidays. Having enjoyed his company immensely over 10 short days, I was overwhelmed by sadness when he left to return to Victoria.á
One of my flatmates and I came back to the flat Monday morning, to find a real Mess, left by the guy we share with.
First weekend back home after one week at Uni I scolded one of my sister's best friends for using our telephone. Very silly, but I was annoyed because she was there at a time when I needed to be with my family.
When my Bictorian "friend" was staying at my house we ere going places together, and sleeping together. At the time I had a boyfriend locally. The first time I had to face him after sleeping with the guy from Melbourne I felt very guilty.
Attempted rape by 5 guys - held my arms behind my back and molested me, constantly threatening to beat me. Penetration did not occur as the driver of the car stopped that.
Anger at doctors for their treatment of me after giving birth. They left part of placenta behind and I bled heavily for twelve weeks - due to this, I felt weak and emotional, and they said I needed psychiatric treatment and give me no support.
When my son was diagnosed as having CEREBRAL PALSY, at age 5. He would have to endure so much labelling, stigma and discrimination, even though his case was relatively mild.
I have an adopted Aboriginal sister I felt disgust due to the racism she has been subjected to.
I can't remember ever feeling shame.
When I decided my first marriage had ended, and left with the child. I felt overwhelmed by guilt as I was separating mother and child.
Not included on questionnaire.
My ex-boyfriend began to date my best friend. After they had been seeing each other, I found out that he had been sleeping with another girl, without my friend knowing, I told my friend what he had been doing behind her back.
My mother left my father for his best friend, and he moved to Papua New Guinea. Despite the fact that I am closer to my father than to anyone else in my family, I had to move in with my mother, and say good-bye to my father, not knowing when I would see him again.
When I discovered my mother had been having an affair with my father's best friend, and then ran away with him without even speaking to me about what she was doing letting me come home from school simply to find her gone. I was filled with disgust and contempt.
I recently became sexually involved with my sister's lover. I care for him very much, but I am ashamed of the hurt I may cause her.
I once stole a shirt from the Department Store in which I work. I have been promoted to work in a very privileged section of the store. Their belief in my integrity makes me feel even guiltier.
Finding myself alone in a public toilet block with a man known to have had great psychological disturbances.
After seeing an "uncertain" child work on a model for several hours, I watched a "bully" of the same age destroy it, telling the child that it was worthless.
Leaving home to move closer to University. As an oldest child, this experience was traumatic for both my parents and myself.
Viewing the results of senseless vandalism to a local primary school.
I slept with a man purely because I found him physically attractive and was under the influence of alcohol.
Inventing a fictitious series of events, as a result of which I ended up in a conflict with my two closest friends.
When going for my driver's licence for the third time, because everything, it seemed, hinged on getting it. I was really nervous, and the testing Officer made me a little afraid as well. There were lots of things to worry about. I passed however.
When a so-called friend let me down, when she promised to tell me when a certain concert was occurring, and that she'd get me tickets. I was really looking forward to it. She did nothing, just told me out of the blue one day what a fantastic concert it was going to be.
When my family heard that my Mother's cousin who lives in England wrote us to tell that he had cancer of the lymph glands.
When I found out how the people of Ethiopia were starving and their government was spending millions on celebrating being in power so many years. Then I saw all these people on TV needing food, etc.
I went to visit Montrose home for crippled children to interview a handicapped child. I interviewed two boys and it went really well. I promised I would visit them, but never got the time. Now I hope they've forgotten me, but I feel ashamed of letting them down.
I was driving my parents' car into a carpark in front of a shop we own, and scraped the corner of the front panel on the back corner of my father's utility. I didn't tell anyone, I lied about the bump (later I had to confess).
One night, when I got out from the University I saw two strange people near my car. When I got near, they moved away, and then came close again. I had a feeling that they were assaulters. After I left I discovered that the windshield was broken.
One day in a crossroad somebody crashed my car. I got out and this person laughed at me. I felt such a great anger that I got in my car and went away.
I don't know why suddenly I thought that what I was feeling for my boyfriend was not really love. After almost three years being together, this matter of fact shaked me and I felt a great sorrow that I can call sadness.
Returning home in the late afternoon I saw an indecent act made by a man with the purpose that I saw it.
In a school parting we agreed to go to a restaurant. We met at school and we separated us in several cars. My car broke and we arrived late. All those who already had arrived stand up and applauded us when we entered two hours late. All the restaurant attention was turned on us.
When I was a little girl about eight years old I broke the bey from a closed. Mother asked who did it. I said that it wasn't me, as I almost never lied, and my brother did it more frequently in spite my brother denieing it my mother gave him a few slaps.
One night I and my friends went to the cemetery. We stopped the car in front of the wall and suddenly the grave digger appeared over the wall looking like a ghost. I was already afraid and almost died.
When one teacher unjustly gave me zero in a test saying that I was cribbing.
When my grandmother died.
I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend for dinner. There we saw a couple. the man of the couple was a negro and he hadn't manners for eat.
When the teacher asked me to read my composition that was the homework I stood up and invented one because I hadn't done it. A colleague saw that in my copy book there was nothing written and he accused me and so I was called in the director's room.
When I took away my best friend's boyfriend.
Crossing a street of several ways the cars began to move and I thought that I was going to be trampled.
I went to the school library and asked for a book, but the librarian told me that there wasn't such. However when an other colleague asked for it she gave it to him.
Some colleagues decided to go out on a Saturday not inviting me to decide either the place nor the time.
A teacher giving a test was called by a student by his first name. He (the teacher) said that he didn't give him this liberty.
One day in the intimity with my girlfriend I had an ejaculation.
When I answered to my mother with rudeness.
Fear of thief.
I feel anger when somebody forbids me to do something.
I felt sad when I was despised by another person.
I felt disgust of dirty.
Shame of not doing something well.
I felt guilty when I couldn't help a person.
I was inside the car with my husband and we were assaulted with a gun at 10 o'clock in the evening.
When they changed my office to another room without my agreement.
I couldn't sleep, and began to remind of my childhood. We are many sisters and at that time we were spanked a lot and I don't know why I started to remind of the spanks they and I had had, their shouts when this happened.
When I red a report in the magazine VESA about an Iranian telling what she had lived in the prisons in Iran. I felt disgust about that people.
I made a comment that at the moment didn't fit.
When my niece was 3 years old she was in the living room while we were fixing the table for a birthday party and, as every child, she couldn't stay calm. She burst a balloon. When I told her to be quiet her father pinched her. I believe if I hadn't said anything this wouldn't have happened.
When I was looking for a job I felt a lot of fear but the fear was greater when I found it.
This feeling occurred to me when my colleague entered in G.V. (University) and I didn't.
When I applied for the college entrance examination to FUVEST, and I wasn't approved in the second fase.
I had this feeling when I met a girl, not that she was dirty but she was to "fresh", dump and childish.
I was very fat, and was ashamed of my body.
When my ex-boyfriend didn't want to sleep with me anymore and I insisted. We made love but he felt very badly and I felt guilty.
I felt afraid when I smoked maryhuana for the first time in my life with a lot of friends in the middle of the street at day brake.
I felt anger when I had a fight with my father, and he beated me. My mother came to help me (because I was beeing beated) and he also beated my mother.
It happened when I lost two very intimate friends in a car accident.
I felt disgust of my father when I knew he had a lover.
When my mother found out that I smoke maryhuana.
I felt guilty when I "stole" the boyfriend of a friend of mine.
When there is danger nearby.
I feel anger when things don't come out as I wish.
When I couldn't go for a trip with my friends in a holiday.
Disgust of drunkers and of blood.
Shame of being reprehended.
When I shout at a colleague in classroom.
When I was curious about it and went to a spiritism session with a friend. I had already been there other times (many times when I was younger) but that day, even if I don't believe in spiritism I was terribly afraid that something would happen to me (sort of incorporation !).
When they denied a job to a person that I propsed giving political reasons that has nothing to do directly with the professional level.
During an informal talk with a friend when we talk about the life of another person, a common friend, that is in a situation of not being able to assume certain problems that he decided to solve, that is, she herself suggested the problems and decided to solve them but didn't get it until the moment.
When my friends and I were camping in a weekend, and with little food, we met a middle age couple from a small town that invited us to eat in their house. Their house was small, badly built with old and dirty forniture and utensils. The problem was with pans, and dishes, and even the food.
When I went to meet the family of my boyfriend in a party in his house. His mother was eager to know me and all his friends ready to make jokes about the situation.
When I met another person I began to go out with him, and my boyfriend (with marriage accorded) met us together he did a great scandal, he broke the engagement and I began to go out with the other, and it didn't work because my mind was all mixed up.
Afraid of getting alone without friends, without anybody.
When they stole my dark blue tennis.
When I became conscious that men don't wnat anything they don't have a goal. They have: sex, but this isn't important.
When I went in a clinical hospital and saw in what conditions people are attended there.
In the last day of carnaval I met a boy and began to flirt with him. I was in love with him. When he introduced me to his friends I died of shame because I was with them before, I met my boyfriend in carnaval.
When I didn't pass the examinations for FUVEST I felt myself guilty for I should have studied. I had the opportunities, and I drew them out.
I feel afraid of the way a great friend looks at me, and also a little afraid of the directions that it's going.
I felt anger of a friend when she met "a date" and become nervous and pest as she always gets when she meets him.
When I knew almost the same day about two great friends of mine that had serious existential crisis, and mainly when I notice that I'm in the same situation that they are, but I didn't realize it.
When some friends and I get acquainted a guy during vacations I thought he was disgusted and "a friend" of mine for whom I feel a little disgust wanted to stay with him.
I felt shame when I had to talk with a person that I hadn't seen for many years. Shame that he wouldn't recognize me or that I wouldn't know what to say.
When I wished secretly and lied to a friend of mine because I didn't want her to stay in my house on the beach (as she always does), and wouldn't stick on me.
I have been afraid several times. What marked me was that I almost didn't enter University.
I'm crazy about football. When my team lost a goal in the Paulist championship, and so it lost the classifications.
When my grandmother, my second mother died.
When a girl that I liked didn't accept my curting.
When I had my first sexual relation and it didn't work.
When my father had a serious fight with my sister, because of me.
The same fact about the girl (22 years, married - guilt - disgust), the fear was the main factor in our relationship.
About the car (sadness) I felt anger the way I acted after negotiating it.
To buy a car and didn't like the business and the car.
I met a girl (22 years old), married. I liked her. I asked her for a date and I kissed her. I discovered that she lived nearby where I passed every day. I got amused thinking that her husband would be ... or me . I didn't talked to her anymore.
When my mother looked in my drawer (where I keep my personal things) and she found some porno photos that I have kept from more than a week, and split it.
About the girl (22 years, married) I felt guilty of the relationship.
I was visiting my parents in law when the house was invaded by three strange men, and they committed an armed assault.
Nearby the end of the year my wife and I were having a car ride, when it appears another vehicle, driven by a drunk driver and provokes an accident.
When I left a carnaval ball at 4 o'clock a.m. I was alone in a foreign city and I had to go back home, when a guy appeared and tried to "catch me".
The fact that I hadn't been informed about something and I had the greatest trust in this person.
A friend of mine lent me his apartment for holidays and besides this he was a fine person. Months later I knew that he died tragically in a moto accident. He was very young, and I felt sad and couldn't believe it (until today).
In contact with a poor family of northeast it was offered to me a crab to eat at my request. But the fact that this crab was prepared antihygienically and his appearence was also antihygienically it caused me disgust but I ate it anyway.
It was my birthday and all the members of the group made me a surprise in a public place at 10 p.m. giving me flowers and suvenirs.
Attending to a demand made by a client (I work in a bank) I suggested her an application of money in a week ahead, but I informed her wrongly. The client arrived a week after and the application wasn't made and she lost with this a lot of time and money.
After some time of work I was transferred to another place and in an other quite harder job.
When I used to go to my chief asking about any doubt about the job and he didn't care, didn't answer me, leaving me speaking alone.
When I knew that a person that I liked very much didn't react the way I would like to, even that I knew about his feelings for me.
When I knew that a person who I didn't like, had about me other feelings.
After lot of explanation, to fail in my work.
My brother and I were at home watching a TV program when I started to tease  him and in this joke I hurt him without knowing the seriousness of it I went on. He got angry and gave it back to me. At this moment I felt anger at him but knowing that it was my fault.
I was at home alone, and heard noises on the roof, and doorknobs, and drawers.
When a person is privileged in account of situations that are unjust, and disloyal to colleagues and friends.
When I was betrayed by a friend, and decided to stay apart form her.
After a serie of facts that occurred between a colleague and me I started to feel a certain necessity to get apart and I didn't want to see her anymore.
I went to study in a public library but I didn't know it well. I got a book and wanted to study hearing music. Then I went to a place were I could do it, but when I passed by a door a bell rang and a man came saying that I couldn't leave with the book.
I broke the gutar of a colleague but as it happened in a moment when nobody was present I could escape from the guilt.
I remember when I was a child of a storm that made me terribly afraid. I thought that the house was coming down and that in the next day I would be dead. Everybody was awake and I stayed all night in bed without falling asleep.
Once in my work it happened a fight between the person in charge and me. I got so angry and spoke out everything I felt at the moment.
I remember the day my father died. I was 11 years old and my sadness was so great that until today I remember everything about that day, from the clothes I was wearing to the reactions of people, the despair of my mother and brother. It marked me a lot and was the greatest sadness I felt.
I was sitting in school, waiting for my sister to go home. Suddenly a boy put fire in a paper and threw it were I was sitting. The paper didn't get me, but I felt terribly disgusted at this cowardliness and irresponsibility that caused a great discussion. We went to the director and he, drunk as always, said that I was ... attention in school. I felt disgust of this situation, and of the persons implicated in it.
Some times I was ashamed of presenting seminaries or even to speak in class.
In adolescence I had a very violent fight with my sister I hold her stong in her neck, she had a throat surgery what make me feel guilty about the future reactions she might had injuring the surgery.
I had a driver licence but I didn't drive for a long time, than I started to drive again, and had to get into hard transit and highways.
When my boss cut off my vacations saying that in that month it wouldn't be possible, and after some time he let another girl take vacations that month. The anger was because of the resentment. Resulting from our bad relationship.
My fiancT's family was adopting a 5 years old boy. I felt myself close to him as I never felt before. After some time his mother demanded the care of the kid and we were obliged to send him back.
There is a girl at my work that doesn't take care much of her hygiene she comes always with her hair oiled, a not very agreable smell, and a bad appearance. Beside this she tries to be nice.
A day I was with my boyfriend and a couple of friends in a bar, and he said something that I didn't like (I don't remember what). Without thinking I slept him in his back, getting ashamed and sorry just after.
When I was starting in romance with my husband, we went out to curt, and we stayed in the car "making love". At the time I was seventeen and I was very immature until a day I lost my virginity.
When I was dreaming that I was being chased, in the upmost of horror the door of the closed felt down synchronicaly with the dream scare.
When my mother slapped me in the face, I felt anger at that moment.
When I deeply felt that I could lose the person I love best because of my foolishness.
I felt disgust toward meat when I felt sick with the steak after a week only on meat.
When I had to act alone a character for a public (40 people).
When I stared to much at a pastry that a woman was eating and at the same instant the pastry felt on the floor.
When I woke up in the middle of the night because of a dream, it wasn't a nightmare, it was an uninteligible dream in wich I woke because of a certain end.
When I was robbed in a bus.
When I try to get closer at a person and she misinterpreted me.
When I felt the smell of industries that pollute.
When somebody I knew greeted me and started to talk with me and I didn't know, I couldn't remember who he was.
When I unjustly accused a person of my family of something she didn't really do.
I was walking from my friend's house, a few blocks from my house, when a car began to follow me. He waited I passed by it rotateed a little and stopped on my way. I changed completely my way and the car went on following me until I turned at a corner and running I hid in a garden of a house, waiting for the car to pass by. I went back home terribly afraid.
One day I lent my tennis I just had washed to my sister because she asked it. I asked her not to soil it as I had just washed it. Next day I looked at the tennis, and it was dirty with wax. She could not have soiled it. It was lack of consideration. I felt very angry.
The second time I went to the entrance exam to V.S.P. and didn't get approved.
I was travelling, we were 15 person, one of them I met at the travel and didn't like her. One night I was asleep while she and her friends were talking too loud in the kitchen. I got up to ask for silence and since that day I felt constant disgust for her.
I was working in I. when a friend of mine borrowed his car so I could get bach there, I had to come to S.Paulo and his car was here. He said :"When you get the car tell my mother that you are only taking the car bacause I asked, for she doesn't like me to borrow it". Next day he borrowed me it again for I had to come back again. When I was coming back I crashed the car quite a lot. One of the first person I met at the accident was his mother, that said to me "You weren't to take the car only yesterday ?" (before I saw her I was already ashamed).
I had a date with a boy, but I didn't feel liked, and didn't go, I wasn't home purposely at the time we arranged.
I felt afraid of losing somebody I love to another person because I was an incomprehensive person and lots of time I fight with this person.
In certain occasion I have a fight with my boyfriend. During the fight I closed the door at his face. He went away but came back next day.
Last year, when I took the college entrance examinations I failed the FUVEST. It was for me the most frustrating situation because I had studied all year long, and only thought about this.
In a certain occasion I saw a dog in the street eating something so strange gooey that I wasn't able to eat lunch because I remembered the scene all the time.
I had never made a malicious joke in front of my boyfriend. Last week I did it I was funny, he loved it, and I died of shame.
When my parents fight lots of time, when I'm the reason of the fight, I feel guilty.
When I was just to be divorced.
My mother in law slept in my bed.
A terrible fight that I provoked with my friend.
In the last year of the high school we had a huge fight between my group and the graduation commission (two students of my classroom) because they accused us unjustly of a gossip about them.
When I was 10/11 years old my father travelled very much for his work (he passed three months away from home).
I saw a film where snakes were crawling everywhere. I felt them crawling over all my body with that ... skins. The noise that they did disturbed me very much.
In a play (secret friend) during the time of the high school I had to give a present to a boy and I was very ridiculous because of this.
When I was a child I used to play with my cousin gushing wather to each other in front of the door of my house. One day we decided to gush with on a passing car. The driver stopped and went to discuss with my mother and my aunt that were there.
When a friend of mine discussed with me, I felt fear of losing her. This occurred because we had a missunderstanding between mutual colleagues.
When a boy tried to fool me so he would be OK trying to show me that he is a gook boy.
In the 12/83 my boyfriend asked me to forget him, as it would be easy.
When my oldest sister discovered that her boyfriend had another girl.
We where in a bar and my friend had a fight with some guys who were in the table aside.
When I deny something to my sister and after a while I feel sorry and try to bypass the situation.
When my father died I felt myself alone and the fear possessed me. I was a child and all my sisters and brothers (8) were young.
I loved a person and he went away. It wasn't necessary that he left me to reach his goals.
A close friend travelled to another country. When I knew that he would only come back after many years, I felt very sad.
When I watched a film about the problems of abandoned children (PIXOTE).
When I began to date, the first gestures of affection made me feel ashamed.
Note: for GUILT go to record n¦231
The day I decided to get out of my house I saw in my brother's eyes that they blamed me for the situaiton.
I was sitting on the bus coming back from school. A man from nearly forty years sat beside me. After a while I looked at him and saw that he was looking at me with opened throusers and holding his penis.
My mother was ill and asked me to prpare our lunch. I went to do it, and while I was working, she stayed behind me telling what I had, or not to do. I asked her to stop meddling, and to go to bed. When I went to ask for help to my sister, my mother said that I was proud, that I asked for help only when I wanted and that I wasn't able to cook by myself.
When on Christmas day my grandmother died. I received the news when I was coming back from a party on the 24th at 5 am.
The same event described under FEAR - in the bus a man sat beside me, with his trousers open and holding his penis.
When I went to a halloween party and had to walk through a shopping center dressed like a witch.
I had parked in a corner, and when I was going out I didn't watch if another car was coming and went out. The car that was coming was obliged to stop suddenly. It didn't crash but for a little.
Once when I crossed the street, and was nearly trampled by a car.
A girl entered in the division where I work and greeted everybody but not me.
A dear friend was removed from the division whre I work.
When somebody despised a friend of mine.
When a friend told me a story and I stayed dumb because I had no story to tell.
When I slapped a nephew who did something that I considered wrong, and I was reprehended for this.
Passing (by car) over a bridge where only one car could pass. There was a precipice on both sides, no protection grilles, and the bridge was completely muddled.
When my chief accused me of an error that I hadn't made.
When I knew about my sister's in law finacial situation and what she was facing.
To see damaged lettuce (with worms) in the icebox.
When a group of friends began to make critics about me.
When I knew that my niece did a bad schoolar examination because I couldn't explain her the lesson.
The day that there was a black-out in the city, and I was in an exposition, I felt fear that something more serious was happening, like a revolution for example.
I don't use to lie to my parets about what I do, and the two times that I felt anger were when they doubted me I said that I was going to the club, and they didn't believe me because the day before they had met me at FLIPERAMA. I had the wish to kill them.
I felt very sad when I saw the first list from the names of the people who entered at the University and my name wasn't there.
I felt disgust about all my friends. After having done a great effort to organize an evening together, and didn't work out, they put the blame on me. After this, I feel disgust towards those that blame me.
I feel ashamed every time that someone makes me a positive or negative critic.
Yesterday I broke my sister's raio. She hears it always when she has school examinations and now she has examinations.
The week before I entered to army, when we were being selected. During 5 days I had to pass 10 hours a day waiting for the answer, which at last was the worst. The fear of being convoked, of hearing the fated phrase, was constant.
When I was misleaded by a person who assured that something would not occur, that I had no reason to prepccupy myself, and suddenly I saw myself implicated by the fact, because of the incompetence, and irresponsibility of that person.
When I didn't succeed to enter at the University, I felt that the college entrance course sistem prejudiced me, that my integrity, and effort weren't corresponded.
When I had to plunge in a swamp of fetid and stagnant water.
When I accused unjustly a person of robbery, who proved me the contrary, almost caused a public fight.
When in the initial interview for the recruiting, I don't know why, I accepted to do the test for army.
One day, when I realized that I was alone, I felt fear of loneliness.
I felt anger when I saw that I was being misleaded by my boyfriend, he went out with other girls. I felt anger for his falsity.
When my boyfriend was changing his behavior there was something wrong, I felt sad, because it's desagreable when a relationship is ending.
I felt disgust when I realized that I had eaten something fatty, and vomited too much.
When I realized that my bathing suit was spotted, I had became menstruated.
When I robbed a loop in supermarket.
When I saw a horror film.
When my sister took something that belonged to me without my permission.
When I felt alone and without love.
When I visited a creche. The conditions weren't too precarious but the children were in conditions of physical and emotional penury.
When I fell down.
I lost a conference because I hadn't got in touch with a certain person to inform her that I would go with her. I thought she knew what I wanted.
I had an important amount of money with me and felt fear of being assaulted.
When I realized that the person I was courting hadn't been really by my side for a long time already. He had deceived me and I let him deceive me.
When I noticed that I do many things to the pregiudice of myself.
Seeing persons spending money in a shopping center with completely indifference to the misery reigning in our country.
I felt ashamed to be Brazilian and to live under a military dictatorship that despoiled the people, when during my military service.
Facing the possibility of having a child when it wasn't either desired or permitted.
I felt fear some months ago of losing the person whom I loved when she said to me that she didn't love me.
I felt much anger and perhaps I feel it till now, against my girlfriend's sister who incited her to betray me just when I needed her very much. She didn't think of anything, simply passed over everything.
When my dog died.
About my girlfriend's sister who is a viper as I discovered some time ago.
I felt ashamed of feeling sorry about myself when I passed through the situation of being betrayed by my girlfriend.
I felt guilt when I betrayed the person whom I loved.
I was in a train where a fight occurred. One person who was there opened his handbag and took out a gun, another who fought too looked among his things for a weapon to fight.
Without the employer's knowledge and even without any communication their bank accounts were changed and their personal accounts closed.
My brother wanted me to buy a flute with him but I didn't accept afterwards I regretted it because he became sad.
I felt disgust when I saw a dead animal on the roadway.
I was in a bus with my school material when I fell and sat on the lap of another passenger.
When I forgot to take out money for my mother. She asked me what she would do, because I had messed up her program for the following day.
One day I was near home, kissing my boyfriend in a car when my mother appeared and asked me to go home, because she didn't know about the event.
A ex-boyfriend tried to prejudice me before my fiancT and his family saying things about me that let his family worried. We had to postpone our wedding and we were already using our wedding rings. To be honest I didn't feel just anger, I felt hate.
The day that the results of the college entrance examinations for the S. Paulo University were published and I didn't find my name on the list. Entering this University was my greatest wish, and  the fact of not having succeded caused a great frustration, and not only sadness.
When I saw the film "Memorie of Prison" I saw a scene of masturbation of a man in the hold of a ship apart form fact that the film wasn't pleasant I had a leg of coconut candies in my hands.
The day my boyfriend saw and touched my breasts when I was without my shirt, only with my pants.
One day my boyfriend put my hand on his penis and I felt well, but after I felt a guilty conscience because I hadn't thought about the consequences that this could have brought if I had gone farther.
When I had to talk with an important person about a job.
When my brother went out with my new shirt that I adored, and returned it dirty with grease.
I felt sadness when I notice that I'm not important for a determinate person. We do many things for a friend, and we see soon after, that he doesn't do anything for us, nor thinks of us.
When I needed another job and tought that a good and known person (my employer) could help me. He simply said that he couldn't help me.
When I arrived late at the job and met the most troublesome boss.
One of my pupils escaped from school to the street.
I received a phone call from a high school friend whose younger sister studied with me at the University and gave me a lift every moning. She was going to get married to a guy whom I knew too and who had died when he fell from a building, I was afraid to lose somebody since I had already lost a brother in an accident.
My grandmother is a highly authoritative person, who lives alone, is independent, but doesn't know to live without commanding the others. I hate this!
I am always sad when my boyfriend goes away. He lives and studies in an other city. We have gone steady for 2 and 1/2 years and everything is going very well, but sometime this situation makes me feel bad and very lonely.
I felt disgust when I kissed a guy that I know. I was on the outs with my boyfriend and this person appeared but he has nothing to do with me.
I felt ashamed of my body in spite of knowing that it is more or less beautiful and also knowing that my boyfriend considers me beautiful, but this was only in the beginning.
I always feel guilty when I see my mother sad or fed up with life. I really dont know the reason.
I was alone at home, a man forced the front door which was locked, forced and tried to open a window.
When I had a serious argument with a dear person.
One night a very dear person said: "I hate you". Of course it was an impulse and this person didn't feel that about me. The person expressed regret, and everything was settled, but I can't forget.
When I met my boyfriend with another girl.
When I was still a child I was told off in face of other persons for having touched an object that didn't belong to me.
When I fought with my sister and said that she had provoked this. She was very seriously scolded.
I should have given a test lesson to get a job. I had no courage. I didn't make the test.
Discussion with my mother about the way to educate my children. I felt anger against my mother.
When my grandmother died.
I was returning from the Universtity at night when I was accosted by a boy who molested me, passing his hands on my body.
When a friend of mine visited me and my house was in a mess.
My daughter was a baby and was crying to be taken on my lap. I felt very nervous and moved her away and went out. As soon as the feeling of nervousness passed I was taken by an enormous feeling of guilt, for having rejected my daughter.
I was in the dark room, it's insecure and has holes covered with wooden sheets in the roof the establishment had already been assaulted and could be assaulted again.
And she said absurd things, false things that filled my ears and inflated my head which seemed to be caught in a carcass where the heart wanted to explode and where the arm wanted to knock down the world.
One day I heard from a friend that the boy I loved had gone out with her and not with me.
I saw a magazine with photographs of dead and maimed people whose limbs were separated from their body like a head on one side and the leg on the other.
In the classroom we discussed with the teacher. He told me things that affected directly in a negative way my job and my behavior in the classroom in front of the other pupils.
The greatest guilt I felt and I didn't know if it was really justified is that when I was a child I had a brother very close to me. He  became ill, and asked me to see  him in the hospital. I didn't go, when his situation became worse in the U.I.T. (Unity of intensive therapy) I went and he died.
I'm afraid of driving on the special seat of a mororcycle, mainly with certain colleagues who by exces of self-confidence drive beyond limits or measure in the traffic and the main victim is always the person who sits behind the driver.
I felt much anger when my fahter interferred in my relations with another person whom I liked very much, ending something that I adored.
One of the greatest sadness was when my grandfather died, because I loved him very much.
My main disgust is against codfish because I detest even the smell of it.
Sincerely I'm a very timid guy and so even in very simple situations sometimes I am ashamed.
The only guilt I considered reasonable was my reproval at the end of the semester at the University.
That someone would discover whom I really love.
When a colleague was rude with me because she didn't understand the subject about which I was discussing.
For not having succeded in getting the job as a translator that I wanted.
When I saw a man who hadn't the lower .... in a car exhibition. He was passing a handkerchief from inside to outside of his mouth.
When I went out with a friend of mine to meet her ex-boyfriend who didn't know that she was engaged to be married.
The same event described under "shame".
When there was a fight at home and my father threatened to throw a chair on my brother.
I felt anger against a person who told bad things about me in my absence.
After a disagreement between my parents, when I was alone with my father and my sister, the aggression continued, when my father tried to put me and my sister against my mother revealing facts that had happened in the past like a talk between my father and his mother in law where she told him that my mother was not quite save.
When in my childhood we were forced to take cod-liver oil.
I feel ashamed when I am praised.
When I provoked a fight with my mother, hurting her feelings very much.
I was with a friend in a stationed car when, suddenly a man appeared on my side and an other with a gun on his side the hold-up lasted a few minutes but it was terrible. I had never seen a gun so close.
I was on a farm with a few friends and during the talk I discovered that a friend of mine, was being betrayed by her boyfriend and a 3rd friend of ours.
I was watching television. It was about midnight when a very dear friend called saying that his father had died in an accident.
I was working in a classmate's house with a group. A girl began to graze her foot against mine under the table.
I was talking with an aunt of mine that I adore and I found courage to say "I love you" and just after that came the shame.
This feeling comes frequently when I go out at night and tell my mother that I shall come back early. But then I get home a 5 or 6 a.m.
When I and the person mentioned above had a suspicion of pregnancy.
When I left after the examination to enter the University, and even though I had studied the whole year I made a bad exam.
When I thought for an instant that a very good relationship with a person had finished.
When I heard the bad news about the death of a close person.
When I tried to hide a fact from a person for irrelevant reasons and considered such an attitude childish.
It happens sometimes in connection with certain persons with whom I have frequent relationships but nothing special.
Practicing wind-surf my body was caught under the sail. On trying to get out my leg was caught in the lashing. I was afraid of dying by asphixia.
In the University we were convoked to a stroll like a freshman I was still innocent about the manipulation. On seeing the goal of the exaltation to poor character people, I felt anger on feeling myself mass of maneuver.
In a social situation I became interested in a woman. We talked, we laughed, we enjoyed each other. She desappeared for a few minutes, and a little after appeared with an other man.
I saw a man falling on the walkway. He seemed half dead, and was immobile. I felt disgust for the people who passed by without doing anything to help.
In the traffic I insulted a man who crossed my way. Afterwards I paired with him, and felt shame because of mine lack of pacience and ridiculous attitude.
A great friend of mine travelled with the intention to change his life. He didn't succeed and returned depressed. I had not power to support his frustration and his behavioral change.
Motorcyclistic accident where for some minutes I didn't know if I was alive or dead, I remained "cold levered" during the situation but felt great fear.
When I acted in a negative way at a certain moment by laziness to concede a moment of the time I thought to be my own.
When I whatched a horror film on a Friday 13th.
Discussing with a certain person about a job I was getting and that perosn was negative and pessimistic.
When I felt lack of aid from close friends.
When I saw a fight I had a physical reaction of disgust and of deep perturbation.
Walking on the street passing by an air duct, my skirt went up.
Being disloyal with persons I loved.
There was a scene of shooting in front of my house, I was very afraid. Two armed men confronting. I didn't discover the reason of the incident.
I was waiting to receive the participation on the profits and did not receive it.
I didn't get the job I wanted.
I went to eat at my aunt's house and she served macaroni with a horrible appearence. I felt the sensation above. The worst was that I was practically obliged to eat.
When I saw my father coming out of the bathroom. He thought that he was alone at home and came out without his clothes.
When I misled a person: I said that I would do her a favour and didn't.
When I sit for examinations.
Once, during a performance I did not sing the way I had to.
When I got separated from the woman I loved.
When the Americans set their nucleaar missiles in Europe.
When I don't say the truth, when I don't do a certain thing thanks to my laziness.
Once I promised to do something but I didn't do it.
I am afraid if I'll finish the term.
I was angry when my abilities of a singer were underestimated.
I feel sadness from the fact that I was not born with a better appearance.
I was disgusted with the hypocrisy of my colleagues from the group.
Shame I feel when I am not properly dressed.
A sense of guilt I felt once when I couldn't defend the confidence my teacher had in me and thus discrediting him at a concert.
I could have been killed by a falling object.
At a certain situation I felt myself neglected and undeservedly harmed.
The sudden death of one of my parents.
Getting separated from my family for a week caused me a sense of sadness.
I felt it when I saw a colleague of mine eating like a beast. At the same time he was making gestures, speaking and making the hell of a noise.
I felt a sense of shame when I compromised a colleague of mine. I got an information from him which I quite out of place shared with another colleague of mine and it resulted in an unpleasant consequence for him.
I promised to fulfill an errand. Later I understood it was impracticable. The explanation I gave was accompanied by a sense of guilt.
I feel fear when I only imagine I could lose confidence in my own abilities and powers. A similar feeling I feel sometimes before an exam.
I feel anger when I see a "parent" beating and punishing his child in the street. Recently I was a withness of a similar case.
I feel sadness when I only imagine that I could lose a close person. Some time ago I lost a man whom aI greatly respected.
A similar feeling I felt quite recently while travelling in a taxi. The driver treated me roughly and dishonestly - he chose the longest route, he overdrawed almost one lev more and he tried to be intimate with me.
Some days ago I fell down at a public place, I came into notice but thank God I was not mocked at. Though it hurt badly, at the first moment I felt shame, not ache.
I felt guilty because of the pain I caused to a very close friend. But over the feeling of guilt, my conviction of being right dominated.
Late one night I was pursued by gipsies who had no good intentions.
My brother accused me undeservedly before my parents. I was not guilty. He was misled by his wife.
When I left my boyfriend. I found another girl at his home but he did nothing to relieve the situation.
I found a big black beetle in my coffee cup. It was alive big and it was moving its limbs.
When I had to prepare and read a paper to my fellow students but I didn't cope with the task.
I had thrown with the ashtray a still lighted cigarette in the plastic wastepaper basket. It had burnt out and my landlords made me a row that I might had set their flat on fire.
I was crossing the street together with some colleagues of mine when I suddenly found myself almost under the wheels of a truck.
Someone stole my ski at Vitosha and of course I was the one to be blamed. I left them without supervision.
I got separated form my closest friend. He went to work abroad.
A drunk man had fallen in the street and he was shouting obscene words.
I had borrowed some money and I exceeded the time-limit.
I couldn't fulfill a promise.
I woke up in the middle of the night of a nightmare, I was alone, it was very quiet and very dark.
A shop-assistant behaved rather roughly with me though she hadn't the slightest grounds for it.
I saw a friend of mine who had suffered a very heavy contusion after an accident.
I caught a glimpse of a black-beetle.
I was made a very sharp remark at a rehearsal.
I couldn't fulfill a request of a girlfriend of mine, though I categorically promised her and I believed there wouldn't be any hindrance. It was partly for objective reasons but also because I couldn't organize myself.
I was looking after a dying patient at work one night, a young woman, my colleague was talking to her relatives and .... to offer them any support emotionally, physically and then sent them down to the coffee shop to have a dinner rather than offering the facilities available for their use cause it involved her having to do some work. Seeing them again I felt disgusted at her attitude.
I put on a lot of weight in a few months and every time I met someone I knew would avoid them, usually by hiding because my self image was low and I was ashamed of what I had done to myself.
I was involved in a ... attempt on a man I had developed a close warming relationship with. Although I knew I had done everything I could and that his progress of a "normal" life was poor I felt guilty as if I could have done more.
When I was ringing up a guy who was my teen idol, and was in Auckland. I was really scared, I didn't know what to say or do.
When my mother decided to clean out my room and throw out what she thought was junk, without my knowing about it, so I returned home to find half my stuff gone.
When I couldn't find my dog which was missing.
I was disgusted with a friend's behaviour when she got absolutely drunk so that she vomitted all over my house.
I was taking place in an anti nuclear protest and was shouting protest loudly to some American sailors of the U.S. Texas submarine. A guy came up to me and said that's your brother screaming at, I felt shame and I realized screaming at another person isn't good protesting. Now I'm a silent protester.
I felt guilty after getting really angry with a friend and having an argument. I was being stubborn and proud, and selfish, because my friend let me down, through no fault of her own.
I had called a boy who had dated me, and told him that I was ill, while, actually, I didn't want to go out with him, later on, he asked me if I was feeling better, then I felt ashamed.
When I hurt my parents in one way or another.
When I nearly caused a traffic accident with my car.
When playing a football match, there was one player who made mean tackels, kicked at everything and did things having nothing to do with football.
A close friend decided to stop with his study and to go back home.
We had a birthday party with 5 friends. One of us frequently used hard drugs. On the party I discovered that the other 3 friends also used them. While we agreed we would help the big user to stop using it.
During a family reunion, they started talking about me wearing an ear-ring.
It was my mother's birthday. My father and I used to buy a present together. However, now I had bought something together with my girlfriend and I forgot to ask my father.
Walking at friday night through Nijmegen, going to a pub or a disco.
I felt dusgust with a self-iterested person who ruined the life of another by means of utterly unfair methods.
I didn't do an important job and it had an adverse effect on other people.
I stroke a person undeservedly.
I felt fear when my mother was heavily ill.
I felt anger against a colleague of mine during a rehearsal in acting. He hadn't learnt the text of an opera act in the course of several months and thus making difficulties for the rest of my colleagues.
I felt sadness when I had to get separated from the woman I loved who had to leave for her motherland.
I felt disgust with the alcohol, after I happened to see a young man, who was dead to the world and who wallowed on the pavement. This "sight" I watched from the bus.
I felt shame and I couldn't look into my teacher's eyes, after not attending his lectures.
I felt guilty after I battered to death a classmate of mine.
I felt it at the same time when I felt disgust.
I felt it on the same occasion when I felt sadness which finally grew into anger.
My living and working conditions at home were unbearable. We used to live in a three room flat together with two more families. The discords caused a change - one of the families moved out. The other family stayed with us but I drifted away from my fiancT. In fact we were two families in the flat. Then I found myself alone in the struggle for this life because my fiancT did not stay next to me my grief and sorrow took on large proportions. I wanted to commit suicide but instead I threw myself against the cause of the irritation.
I am disgusted with my sister's husband. On an early Sunday morning after having knocked at my door, he suddenly rushed in and finching me still in bed he began quarrelling about something. I could not understand. I heard his last words: "Don't stare at me so because I'll beat you in your bed" I got up terrified and a thrashing followed.
I feel shame mixed with anger with the behavior of some incultivated people because my fiancT is a foreigner.
I felt guilt because on account of my ambitions I nearly turned my sister out of my parents home.
I experienced this feeling when the doctors found a nodule in one of my mother's breasts. It turned out to be an occlusion resulting from continious sucking but for a few days I was not in my reason.
I had an accident with a trafic police car that was packed at a curve without any visibility and against all traffic regulations in a strong snowstorm. As a result I still cannot repair my car because of the missing spare parts.
A sudden doubt made me run for a long time in a rainy autumn night. When I reached the intended place I saw my beloved in another man's arms. A sudden blow, grief, I cannot qualify it, it is painful for me to remember about it.
I felt disgust with a man I had trusted and respected, to whose problems I had always shown deep understanding.
I was given the task to learn a page of music text for a small part. But I had forgotten all about it and I felt quite awkward when I had to show what I had prepared.
Some time ago I slapped my son without trying to understand who the real culprit of a damage was. After that I felt guilty and bad but it was too late.
I was to be given an audition to get a role. I had a competitress and I wasn't well prepared because I was ill.
A whole crowd of us went to a folklore festival. The instructor of the cast where my boyfriend played was traveling with us. We decided to catch the train that leaved early in the morning because we had business on the following day. The instructor tried to get the upper hand and made us catch the train in spite of everything, all the time he made me angry.
When I quarrelled with my boyfriend.
I am disgusted with the fact that bad singers play at the opera (and not only there) only because they are protegTs or lovers of an important felow while at the same time some young and able singers work in a quite different field of life.
I feel shy to show all my worth when I work for the first time with a conductor or a producer unfamiliar to me.
I offended my mother.
Once I was alone at home. I suddenly felt unwell and there was no one to help me and call First Aid.
When diving deep into the sea to reach the floor I felt breathless. I was cautious but I doubted I should be able to come to the surface and inhale.
When my friend (girl) promised to help me go to the hospital and be examined by good experts and she deceived me.
When I had stayed abroad for a long time and I had remembered about my friends and relatives. I felt sad and I wanted to see them as soon as possible.
I felt it when I saw our headmaster blushed ingratiating himself with high ranking officials.
When I hadn't learnt my lesson and I asked the teacher to give me "a three" and he agreed but even he felt quite awkward.
NB: In Bulgarian schools "a three" is the second worst mark.
When I shouted and quarrelled and for no reason I had been rude to my mother and when my behaviour had been influenced by other outward factors.
One fears many things, for example one fears going to the dentist. but as far as I am concerned this feeling is connected with the examination session.
When you are unjustly assessed at something you are sure to have been right.
For the loss of a close friend or relative, but you feel grief when you are away from home, too.
They wanted something to happen but I didn't.
I couldn't be with a girl on whom I was very keen.
I and my friends got acquainted with a guy from Sofia who turned out to be gay, but we found that out only after 2 or 3 days.
My first girlfriend. I had the feeling that she was going out with me only because of my defect.
Years ago I ran away from home which disappointed my parents.
Having a car accident.
I shared a secret with a friend and it later turned out that he had revealed it to another person with whom I didn't get along very well.
The loss of a very good friend.
Negative statement concerning me of a friend before strangers.
Adultery with the girlfriend of a friend of mine, of which he learned.
Adultery with a friend's girlfriend.
I experienced it once when we were on a drive. Our car passed by the one comming from the opposite direction at an incredibly small distance.
I get angry with people who attain certain status without deserving it, only with the support, authority and influence of other people.
I feel sad when I see things done against men and nothing could stop it - at least I think so.
I have experienced disgust with some people - usually double dealers.
I am ashamed when I am not prepared in a subject and I have to answer in the presence of the patients.
I feel guilty when I should have done something at any rate but I haven't done it.
I felt it when I sat for my exam in anatomy.
I experience that feeling when I am unsulted without deserving it or when someone deceives me.
When my grandfather died.
I feel disgusted with toadies, hypocrites, chameleons.
When I do something unworthy.
When I offended my parents without wanting it.
A friend of mine gave birth to a child. Very dangerous delivery. I was afraid for her and for the baby.
I get angry when someone imputes on me things I never can do, naturally negative. Servility, "connections", impudence, traits that get me mad.
My brother is a soldier. He promised to come home in a furlough but in the last moment he phoned and said that he could not come.
I am disgusted with liers, hypocrites, slanderers, flunkeys.
Recently I saw a young girl fawning on a man. And what for - money and things. I was ashamed to be a woman.
When I have been overhastingly offending or hurting.
Few years ago my father was very ill. He stayed at a hospital for a long time. Then I experienced that terrible feeling that I might lose him.
I have a friend that I deeply trusted but it happened that I lost my confidence in her for which she herself was to blame.
We are several friends but our characters are very different and we inevitably split in the two extremes. It is sad that I myself don't know what to do, I try not to hurt either of the "parties" because there are conflicts to which one I should belong.
I stayed for several weeks with a friend of mine before she moved to live with her husband. One evening he came drunk and made an awful scene, which I still remember.
In the past I experienced this feeling almost all the time - wherever I went, in different sutuations. I was small and I had to be taken to kindergarten, but me the fool didn't dare to tell exactly where, finally as a result I was late.
My roommate got married and invited me to share a flat with them. But with a young couple there should not be a third person. I am to blame for not following the advise of the others, but it is not late still.
In the real sense of the word I experienced fear in my first months in the army. During my first night of duty. The cause for all this was a bear. I became panic sticken (may be for the first time) and even forgot that I had a gun.
When I was a soldier I quarrelled with my commander and may be in revenge for this he detailed me on duty two successive nights. Naturally he checked me up on the second night and found me asleep for which he sent me to the cells.
Sometimes I experience sadness for the Sports High School and for my unrealized dreams in the sport. Anyway there I spent six years of my life.
Sort of awkward. I'd introduced (a lover) but introduced as a friend to some members of my family, and my niece Yavanna who's six was home from school and at Mum's and Dad's and was really silly and at first it was ok, but it went on and on - yukky pooh! You eat your snot, etc. and I felt cross she wouldn't stop. But she had an audience and was in one of those moods. Once I'd accepted it was something everyone does at time I felt better - it was partly having my friend there.
In my 20s - and was going out to dinner to celebrate a friend's birthday. Her (older - in 30s) cousin, really wanted me to get drunk cos I'd visited their (cousin & wife) place quite a bit, but had always been very careful - brought up to believe in moderation in drink (but not guilt repression etc). I mixed drinking with smoking (which I rarely did) and got drunk and had to leave the table to get sick in the loo, and later went home and was sick again; have never felt so awful in my life. And I didn't want to face or tell my other flatmates, or family.
I used to pinch change from my father's mantlepiece (never my mother - she didn't get enough housekeeping) and then I'd feel when we went to church as a family I'd felt awkward cos I felt I'm expected to go to communion and I would but I was afraid and guilty 'cos I committed a mortal sin.
Can think of no time that I have felt fear.
Teenage neighbours smashed my letterbox for the fifth time in a couple of months. It was a deliberate action of kids who had stayed in my home, had meals there yet took a dislike to my daughter.
Guy I cared for went back to Canada to live.
Bus driver driving roughly - old man fell off seat into aisle - driver wouldn't stop - disgusted with her behaviour.
A daughter in court for staff pilfering, she was dressed like a "street walker" - I had a friend form overseas with me and was falsely trying to impress with my family.
Reported neighbour to police for taking to my daughter with baseball ball - her counsellor rang me and after long talk convinced me the woman was o.k. I felt guilty for ringing the police then guilty for feeling guilty about it.
I was in the Korean War. We were attacked with mortars, me and companion. We stopped the jeep and ran for cover. Fortunately neither of us was hit but we both came close to being killed.
I've a situation of responsibility an employee who had a habit of being late, came late again after promising to say he would be at work in a few minutes, then arrived 3 hours later. He had been drinking.
My brother in law was dying of cancer. To see him wasting away was very sad.
Disgust at myself when I stroked a sleeping girl's private parts.
My son was apprehended for shoplifting at the age of 14. Because I too had been apprehended at the same age I felt the shame of not having been able to prevent my son from acting in the same way.
I removed an article of clothing belonging to my employer while in a position of trust.
While tramping on a narrow path two of us were confronted by a woman with two snarling dogs, demanding we get off the property - via a flooded river !
A friend got angry and drove "like a lunatic" with me and others in his car. I was angry about his dangerous driving.
A boy I look after for the probation service deliberately offended to provoke a reaction from the police.
4-letter words on a TV programme (Roche) while we were entertaining "conservative" relations who wanted to see the first episode.
A young visitor to the house stole money from an elderly visitor's purse. It wasn't noticed for some hours.
I had to leave an important function early because of family commitments. Someone else had to complete my job.
I was attacked, standing in a doorway, by a pack of 5 dogs, alsatians and farm dogs with my escape route blocked by a shut fence.
In the house where I live there is a new flatmate. His friends unfortunately are the dirt of society, intelligent, fashonable, rich and bored. At a party recently they were doing things I didn't like done in my house. I felt angry at them.
I was driving near my girlfriend's house and I decided to keep going because it was late and I would be back in the next few days anyway. The next day she was killed in a road accident.
My girlfriend came home after a business dinner at the most expensive place in town drunk as a skunk. Whats more she drove home and couldn't remember doing so. I was disgusted by her state and her actions.
A good friend of mine told me in comfidence that once he had tried to commit suicide. To meet him you wouldn't think so. I told another friend of mine about this when she was feeling depressed about her twin brother's suicide. I broke a bond of confidentiality.
When I was young I stole something from a shop and got caught, then I was taken to the police station and my parents had to come and get me.
When confronted and in my opinion hassled by the police.
Disgust - no. Maybe it is more precise to say revultion at a worm or a snake. But I mean it in a social aspect when somebody had behaved like a scoundrel to you, when by his actions he has made you change your attitude towards him but I thing this feeling the way I meant it, is not typical for the people interrelations.
When you betray the trust you have been given. This is connected with copying at a class-work at school.
When I have forgotten to warn somebody for something, or when I have forgotten to bring something I have been asked for.
When, for example, my grandfather fell seriously ill. It was necessary for him to be operated and I felt great fear of losing him because he is so dear to me.
When, for example, I was not approved to continue my studies at the Moscow University, no matter that I had the highest marks and in general the best records of all the candidates.
When, for example, I left for the first time my parents and I went to live in Sofia.
When, for example, someone is calumnating.
When, for example, I fail in my undertakings.
For example, when I have promised something but I haven't fulfilled it.
The last time I felt it was when I was coming home late at night.
I haven't often felt this feeling. Once someone stole my garment.
Recently I happened to remain alone for a long time.
I don't remember about a situation when I have experienced this feeling. Maybe it was when I saw a drunkard in the street.
I lied to my best friend and I wouldn't reform what I had done.
It happens to me quite often. I can't describe a particular case.
Fear of the loss of a close friend, of feeling the ground slipping from under my feet.
Attitude to some manners of dealing and some "sanctioned" relations.
Feeling unable to preserve one's ideas and ambitions as innocent as they are when you are young.
Attitude to a related family.
Exaggerating certain circumstances, wrong attitude and evaluation of these circumstances.
Low evaluation of other people's cares.
If a close relative's life is in danger.
A close person lied to me.
Getting separated from my girlfriend.
Encouter with a prostitute.
A theft committed by me.
Lack of respect for my parents.
Before an examination.
Unjust punishment of a friend of mine.
After the loss of a close relative.
When somebody behaves like a scoundrel. Recently a colleague of mine used the name of another one for his own benefit.
I travelled on a bus and I forgot to punch the ticket. A ticket collector came in and I had to pay the fine. I did it with a feeling of shame.
I forgot to convey an important announcement.
I felt a physical fear, if I can call it this way, today, in the bus where I was sitting on the first seat. While turning the driver didn't see the tram which was making a dash towards us (coming from the side I was), and whose driver intended to cross in yellow light.
At an unjust, or to be more precise, at a bureaucratic treatment of one's personality.
When one is alone and knows that all the others are celebrating.
At the sight of an insect, such as the black-beetle.
When not fulfilling any of my obligations to a person whom I respect.
When something unpleasant happens to a friend or relative of yours and you are at the bottom of it.
This feeling I sensed quite recently. It was arisen by the terrific thought that I might lose the man I loved !
Anger I felt when my boyfriend told me he didn't mind breaking it off with me, i.e. each of us to take his own road. Because until that moment, he deliberately restricted our dates. The motives were brought to my knowledge later.
Sometimes, when I'm alone I am seized by this feeling. But it always helps me to come round and at the same time to judge if it is worth. Very often this feeling is caused to me by people - friends who I love and respect.
Such a feeling springs up in me sometimes when I have meals at a catering establishment. It is a result either of the look of the food or when watching the way some people eat.
This happens to me when I am not prepared in a given subject.
Quite unconsciously I offended a girlfriend of mine. It was really worthy to pass this fact over in silence, but I acted so, because I believed I was right. In fact it often happens to me to feel guilt, after I have already done the deed.
I had to have my tonsils out. I had been making up my mind almost for a year - I was afraid. But during the two hours in the hospital room, while I was waiting to be called for the operation I felt a real fear - of the pain, of what they were going to do to me, of the unknown.
In a conversation my boyfriend expressed definite and quite pretentious opinions and he took up an attitude towards a theory which he himself had never known. His information was from fortuitous sources.
Summer, heavy rain, storm - I was standing with my face stick to the window: the childhood, something was going away forever this summer, I was leaving my home, I was going to study in another town, for the first time I was leaving my parents, friends, I had to manage myself, a long and loved period of my life was over - I was crying.
I saw in the street a man spitting.
I talked with a man who stammered and without controlling myself, I started to talk imitating him.
Always, and this happens often when I do not keep my word.
I felt this feeling when one day my landlord's cat had crept under my bed and I couldn't cope with it during an hour and a half.
I feel this feeling when I am to fill in a questionnaire or a form.
When the man I loved decided to leave me forever.
I have felt this feeling when a person whom I believe and respect, lied to me.
I feel shame when sometimes, (unconsciously) I behave unethically and without understanding the problems of the man I love.
When I offend somebody unfairly.
One evening I was watching the news on TV. Again they were talking about the danger of war. Suddenly I imagined what it might mean for me, for my friends, for the people close to me. I felt it a very near and possible event.
Unfair and unjust attitude toward a person close to me, what I was the witness of, caused anger in me.
The thought that I'll never sit at the school desk again, caused a deep grief at the end of my eleventh form.
I felt disgust with a person whose behaviour was out of the elementary human norms.
I had not punched a ticket in the bus because I had a card. But when the ticket-collector came it turned out that I had forgotten it. The shame I felt was great though it was not done on purpose.
At a moment of affect I offended a person very close to me. He had given me ground for that but it was a trifling in comparison with the way I insulted him. A moment later I felt a sense of guilt.
I broke my knee when I was skiing over "Yastrebetz" (a racing track in a Bulgarian winter resort).
The doctors from Belogradchik town determined a wrong diagnosis to my son. A month later, after some complex examinations at ISUL (A medical institute in Sofia), the diagnosis was categorically rejected.
My son lives with my parents in the country and I feel this feeling always when leaving for Sofia, but the last time it was quite strong.
A colleague of mine asked a lecturer to put him a higher mark in order to keep his good mards and thus to continue getting a scholarship for an excellent grade.
I felt this feeling during the exam in higher mathematics.
My son drank four pills of diazepam every two hours instead of amidophen.
I felt fear once, when the car in which I travelled directed towards the precipice along the road.
When I see how people around me pass by certain unjustice because of indifference or cowardice.
When I left a man in whom I really believed.
Disgust with drunk people.
When I try to lie.
When I had had the possibility to act or to do certain activity better but I had not done it because of reluctance or carelessness.
When I broke my leg I felt fear.
When someone lies to me.
At an unjust insult or injure.
From the cigarette smoke. Usually I feel disgust from it when I am in a restaurant.
When I promise to do something but I don't fulfill it.
When I don't fulfill my obligations.
In a dam lake, when the water was let flow to water the plants and I and two other boys were near the water pit. We rescued ourselves only thanks to the flippers and the tyre that was with us.
It was quite recently, at the football match between the national teams of Bulgaria and France. I felt strong anger with the Scottish referee who ran the match quite partially.
When I am alone and listen to a song which I like very much and which I had listened before together with friends.
A striking act of ingratitude at a public vehicle.
I counterfeited a mark in the school register during the lesson in gymnastics. I felt this feeling two days later when I stood face to face with my teacher, whom I highly appreciated and respected.
In a fit of temper I told things that were unjust and they greatly hurt my mother though she didn't show it.
I was alone in my room at the boarding house when at 12 o'clock someone knocked violently on the door.
A friend of mine promised to come with me to the cinema but he didn't come.
I felt sadness when I remembered my former boyfriend with whom I got separated an year ago and when comparing him with my present one with whom things are not much of a success.
Recently in the tram, a man ran his fingers over my girlfriend then over me.
I had to prepare a report but I couldn't write it. I read from a book off-hand, I was quite uneasy and I felt I didn't manage.
My father got a slight heart attack after a telephone call of mine.
I was going to knock down a pedestrian with my car.
I was neglected undeservedly.
My grandmother died.
A man was unfair to a girlfriend of mine.
I didn't offer my seat to a pregnant woman in the bus.
I didn't attend lectures.
The night before my wife had given birth to our twins. I felt fear in the hospital yard, I feared if everything was going to be in order.
About a month ago the Regional Council refused to pay my wife the due maternity benefit, because of bureaucratic reasons.
Some months ago my wife gave birth to twin sisters. She had no idea of looking after babies and she felt quite oppressed. The fact that I couldn't help her caused grief to me.
I feel disgust with some people when I see what they are capable of, including lack of any dignity, when trying to find a seat in the tram.
Some days ago I had a car accident. It was quite slight but through my fault. I felt strong shame because I had the spirits of a good driver.
Some days ago I had a slight car accident through my fault.
A fear from the loss of a close friend as a result of his behavior.
When I encountered not only with my father's lack of understanding but also with his unwillingness to understand me as a parent, as far as things for which I (not he) have proves to be right are concerned.
From the fact that my husband and I are not in good terms.
I was disgusted from a quarrel between two married people, in which the children were involved as accusers of one of the parents.
When I don't succeed to fulfill a promise.
When I am not able to fulfill any request of my son - can't take him out to ride his byke, because I am tired.
I felt fear when I sat for one of my exams. Though my fear was not quite justifiable, I still remember about it.
I thought him a good friend but he tried to lie to me several times. Last time was the height of impudence. He promised he would come home but he didn't. I felt a sense of anger and insult.
A fear of lack of personal powers.
At an undeserved attitude toward a man, when human personality is not treated decently.
At an irrevocable loss (with respect to human relations).
At an unworthy behaviour of a man, pettiness, stupidity and mostly at a philistinism.
At a weakness on my part.
When I don't justify the confidence of people that I respect.
Because of a conflict with my parents there was a possibility to interrupt my studies.
I feel a strong anger when I am treated unjustly.
At a prolonged separation with my family.
I was looking for an object when I came across a rotten corpse of a rat.
I feel this feeling at one and the same degree when I am not prepared to overcome certain obstacle in my life.
I offended a person who had done much for me and who had helped me for everything.
Before an exam in logics.
My husband and I were invited at the house of our nieghbours then we got an invitation on the part of my parents which we had to refuse. A a result they called me by words that provoked my anger.
My son lives in the country. I feel sadness when I see mothers having walks with their children.
The behaviour of a colleague of mine, which doesn't correspond to my norms of behaviour.
I was to take part in a cocktail party on the occasion of our national holiday as a servant.
I ignored and offended my parents on the eve of the New Year.
I bet that I would jump down from a window. I was sure that I would jump but before I did it I rather felt fear.
A honest "sliding" on the part of a girlfriend of mine. Terribly crossed I started breaking things and tearing books.
Alone I am coming back home in the night after the serial "explanation".
A lie on the part of a person close to me.
I thought I had taken a decision but I hesitated.
I feel this feeling most often before me not before the others. My outside is iron but actually I'm wasting away.
I had a car accident.
I was drawn up a statement for an infringement of the traffic ordinance. In fact I was innocent.
I lost a close friend.
I saw a film about the nazi concentration camps during the war. After the film I felt disgust.
I was nailed. I lied in connection with a book which I took from the library, because I had to keep it for a longer time.
I didn't give back in time some money that I had borrowed. My friend relied on them.
Before going to the dentist.
When I am made to do things in which I see no sense and I waste my time. Some time ago I had to participate in a sociological investigation and then I got really angry.
When I feel I must be with somebody, to talk with somebody - but I am alone.
Some time ago a man tried to teach me something. "Tried" because it is very difficult to teach somebody when you yourself are not competent and cultured.
I am ashamed when I am not ready for my seminar in internal diseases, simply because the assistant professor is a person who deserves high respect.
We had promised, with a friend of mine, to take our friends to a restaurant and after having looked for a place for hours without finding one, and not being helped by the others we had to give up the idea.
When I have to go in for an exam and the examinor is a person with a whimsical character and unsteady requirements.
I unfairly got a low mark on an exam and I failed to win a grant, since then I don't have much confidence in myself at an exam.
It happened that I was alone - with no contacts with friends.
I met three drunk boys, almost children, they didn't look like normal people.
I was totally unprepared for a seminar conducted by an assistant professor whom I highly respect.
I got back too late after a Sunday going out without having called up home to tell where I was. my mother hadn't slept the whole night.
I am afraid before an exam or colloquium.
I get angry when my smaller brother misbehaves and talks with indecent words.
When my dog was stolen.
I detest any kind of constraint and hate the attempts of elder people to force me to a norm of behavior without having legal or moral rights to do it. I felt this emotion when a neighbour of mine made me kick out my guests because they had talked very loudly and threatened that with "connections" she will expel me from the inst.
I experienced long ago when I was sightseeing Bulgarians in a foreign language.
My mother developed hipertonia and I think I too am to blame bacause with her it is a stress disease.
One evening a friend of mine was telling a fearful story, nobody took it seriously but I got frightened.
I got angry with a stranger in a train who behaved impertinently and immorally
When I failed at the first entrance exam.
The event which got me angry got also an aversion in me.
Once I was not ready for a seminar and I was asked to leave.
I felt guilty when once I made my mother angry.
Few days ago I really experienced fear. It was connected with unexpected actions on the part of a group of people. This evoked in me many negative emotions.
I always get angry when somebody deceives me, or tries to conceal his lie skilfully and this offends me even more.
Sadness - this is an emotion which I have felt very often recently. I can't remember a concrete example. I will describe my general impression from severl situations which evoked this feeling in me.
I became disgusted with the man on whom I had counted, who I had trusted, the man who should have been my mainstay - my father. I could hardly make myself (and the others) believe in this emotion. It has cumulated after events and deeds. Everything can happen in this world.
I am ashamed of the way my father behaves with my mother and sister, and with me too.
I didn't keep a promise I had made to a man, and in this way I lost his esteem and confidence in me. I caused him a lot of trouble.
I was a bit frightened when it was found that there was something wrong with my liver. However it turned out that it was not serious and I need not worry.
With the girl whom I may be loved truly. When she refused to come with me to an occasion (she was from another town).
For the girl who halped me go on living and made me happy - when I don't see her even for two or three days.
For a drunk man (about 20 years old) that I met one evening, and who behaved impudently with the girls standing by.
I was embarassed at the exam in microbiology. I was ashamed with myself - how little I knew and how good was the examinor. I rarely become ashamed.
Recently when I made a slip and blurted out indecent words in my mother's presence.
Fear overwhelmed me when right against the car I was in I saw another one, as if out of control of the driver.
I felt it when a girl who was dear to me lied to my face. I got angry with the fact that she knew I didn't believe her but she kept on telling lies.
Sadness, no, I felt something much stronger when my father died.
I got disgusted with a man who was beating a woman in the street. I just happened to be there but I was abhorred by the rudness.
I was ashamed of the way I deceived that I could not help a friend, although it was absolutely possible for me. Nothing was revealed but I haven't called up this person since then.
I had an appointment with a colleague of mine to give her my lecture notes. I couldn't go and I didn't send them, and so the girl missed a day for the preparation of her term exams.
Two years ago I saw a film on the TV. Even now it makes me afraid.
When my husband stays late at a meeting and I have to be alone.
The loss of a person I loved very much.
Deception from a person I loved very much.
I didn't tell my parents that I was going to Sofia. I told them that I was going to a seminar. My mother knew that I was lying but she didn't stop me.
The assistant professor saw me cheat at the preliminary examination.
I felt something close to that when I saw that there was a man on the terrace of the flat.
I got angry when I learned how short a time we had to prepare for the term examinations.
I felt sad when my first boyfriend and I left each other. It was neither his fault nor mine.
I felt it today when the bus driver shouted rather indecent words at a man without any reason whatsoever.
At an exam in pharmacology I tried to prompt a coleague (she asked me something) and the assistant professor made me a sharp remark.
My grandmother has been in a hospital for a week and I still haven't had time to see her.
I was at the seaside and my brother disappeared for a couple of hours.
Some time ago I was disgusted with the "cleanness" of the refectory of our institute.
We were at a football match and when we were leaving the stadium (the stadium was packed with people) and I lost my shoe in the crowd. Our attempts to find it didn't give any result and I had to go home without one shoe. In other words to cross the whole town !
I felt guilty last year during the winter term exams. A colleague of mine asked me to give him my lecture notes (I had very good notes and I had passed my exam in advance) but I still don't know why I didn't give them to him. That colleague failed and he was on the verge of not passing it at the supplementary examinations.
Once as a child I dreamed of a fire. Since that time I hadn't wanted to sleep in that bed and had feared the night darkness (and so it is now).
A chief was unjustly punished on an autumn brigade and the one who was really guilty kept silent. I stepped in front and told the truth. The guilty chief called me in after the roll-call and threatened me.
Years ago I fell in love for the first time. as natural for every school-girl I was day-dreaming. Later (after 3 years) we left each other. No one was to blame but I felt deep sadness. Even now I remember about it quite often.
It was at a comsomol(??) meeting, the last one because we were to graduate. The way one of my fellow-students behaved made me feel disgusted.
I was at a children's camp abroad. The people (the leaders, my coevals) were very king to us. One night we smeared our foreign friends with tooth-paste while they were sleeping and then we roused the whole camp by our shouts. Later I was so sorry. I didn't utter a word for two days, then I went to apologize.
When I was in the fifth class the rating was done in our mark-books. I hadn't been examined yet but I had heard from my classmates about the scolding they had got at home. My first mark was in geography - good 4. I judged I had known for more than that and I put down "very good" for fear of being scolded. Naturally my parents guessed all about it. They rebuked me for what I had done.
I was walking on the pavement when a white car rolled on it and directed towards me. I was quite near the house wall when it rolled by and hit me.
My grandmother's brother had taken active part in the resistance movement. He had been in prison many times and there he lost his health. He became an invalid. When we phoned to First Aid the nurse on duty behaved quite unkindly when she understood how old he was (79).
My boyfriend is a soldier. He was on a leave. I felt sad when we had to get separated again.
I felt disgusted about a teacher who had rejected all that was human in her. She refused to accept the flowers we gave her for the eighth of March and asked for a foreign parfume instead.
I was examined by a teacher I greatly respected. I was well prepared on the subjects but he put some side-issues to me and I couldn't answer.
I had undertaken to help my sister for her class work but some unexpected circumstances prevented me from doing that.
I had worries about a certain illness.
I suffered from a gynaecological illness. I was quite displeased to hear that my roommates had talked about it and they had misrepresented the truth. I felt deeply hurt when I learned that it was done by a "good" acquaintance of mine.
When my first boyfriend left me. I tried not to let him understand I felt miserable.
I hate hypocrisy. My friend (girl) tried to intrude into my affairs with my future husband. After that she behaved as if nothing had happened.
I feel shame when I have made a promise, I can't keep it and this has negative effects which are caused by my behavior.
I felt it when I came home after the examination session and I said I had not passed my last exam.
This was what I felt when my boyfriend went to Bourgas to study there. I had the feeling I would lose him. Anyway the distance Plovdiv-Bourgas seemed to me so great.
I confronted with this feeling at the Institute quite recently, the pedology lecturer was the cause.
This feeling was quite deep when my friend (girl) died in a car accident.
I am disgusted with the behavior of a car driver whose car would run over me and my friends during our autumn brigade.
I felt shame when I discontinued my education for eight months.
The sense of guilt came over me too, when I interrupted my studies. Why ? Because I felt guilty before my parents ! They believed in me though this event did not make them disbelieve me.
Fear when fulfilling my obligations on my first night fatigue duty as a soldier.
When on a car journey a fellow student crossed our way with his own car and we had to bump into a roadside trunk.
The loss of a close relative who was ill with cancer.
I am disgusted with a nieghbour who is looking for all sorts of quarrel with my parents and me. He feels we are hampering his living close to us. This has been going on for quite a long time.
Some time ago I promised to meet an acquaintance of mine and to carry him some promised papers. I haven't done it until this day. Now I feel quite awkward when I meet him.
A sense of guilt before my parents when I had to discountinue my studies in the first year because of unpassed exams.
Fear from the unknown. I felt fear when I sat for the entrance examinations.
I feel angry at people's indifference at our ability to be present at an event and to stay partial to what happens.
When you are far away from relatives and friends. I feel sad for my early years, for the freedom and the carefree years of childhood.
I feel disgusted with the bootlickers, with helpless people.
I feel ashamed when I act dishonestly toward somebody.
I didn't visit a very close friend at the hospital and some days later he died.
Students fear many things but we seem to fear the examinations most of all. I remember I was horror stricken before my microbiology exam, because it was a decisive one.
It was necessary to organise a competition in connection with a celebration. Everyone was to be present at that event. It turned out that there was no audience at all because everyone had pretended to be very intelligent and no one had come. I got furious.
When I part with my friends I feel always sad for some time. I can't remember a concrete example now. For example I have just parted with a friend of mine and I am feeling sad.
In autumn I had to move to another lodging. My landlords, quite intelligent people, warned me I had to move in the nearest future. But I had difficulties in moving my luggage because I couldn't wait for a car to come. How amazed I was to hear them threatening me they would throw our my things. And at that my luggage was well packed and did not stand in their way. I was quite  disappointed and disgusted.
During our last exarcise in agricultural machines we went out in the yard to examine a row of machines. But we seemed not to have fulfilled our task well, because when our teacher came and asked me a question I was unable to answer. I felt awkward because he didn't deserve it.
I remember about an unpleasant event in relation to my mother. I felt guilty before her.
I fear before each exam.
When my bosom friend tried to lie to me.
When I quarrelled with a very close friend of mine.
When I see the acts and deeds of a blind drunk man.
When I wasn't well prepared for a terminal exam and the teacher tried to give me a three by asking me some very easy questions. I burned with shame then.
When once my mother asked me to do some work for her at home because she was busy and moreover this work was to be done by a man. But it remained undone.
It was not long ago when I and two of friends of mine got quite drunk and one of them began to rave under the influence of the alcohol. I felt fear of what could have happened.
I felt anger at my last exam, I felt angry with our teacher, because he did not rate me objectively and I failed.
I met a girl some time ago and I cared very much about her but it happened so that we left each other. I felt some sort of sadness, I think I can call it so.
I had a very good friend (boy) and I thought I could rely on him but he behaved badly with a girl who used to trust us completely.
Immediately after the New Year holidays I happened to visit a party where there was a lot of alcohol and I became drunk. On the next day I felt sort of ashamed when I remembered what I had said and done on the night before.
Last year I put off an exam for the autumn session without knowing if there was a supplementary examination session. When I came home with my exam unpassed I felt guilty before my parents when I remembered how much they had done for me.
I felt fear when I fell down and broke my leg into pieces and I could not feel it at all.
I felt angry when I failed in an exam about which I knew quite a few things and I did not deserve to be plucked.
When my mother and father were on an excursion in Chechoslovakia and I was at a student camp and I heard over the radio about the events that were taking place there.
I felt disgust with alcohol in general when a close friend of mine got so drunk that he didn't realize what he was doing and it was quite shameful.
I felt ashamed when my parents found out that I had deceived them.
I felt guilty when I had taken the car keys and I had an accident but as my parents did not know who was to blame, they punished my brother because I had no driving licence and they thought it impossible that had driven the car.
I feel fear quite often but this feeling was very strong last year when my husband was quite unexpectedly sent to the hospital.
That was what I felt with a teacher who put down quite unreal marks.
I felt sad when a friend of mine died and I felt that something had irrevocably gone away from me.
I felt disgust with a lady teacher who used to nag, to mock, to interrupt everyone of my fellow students each time we had a class with her in our first year.
That was what I felt when I told my first lie and then was cought.
I felt guilty when I failed to take an exam though I had had enough time to read for it but I hadn't made use of it.
It was some years ago when one evening some people came home and told us my father was badly injured in an accident.
I faced this feeling when I realized I wasn't admitted to the institute in the first classifying, in spite of the high mark I had got at the entrance examination.á
Always when I get separated from my friends and relatives from my home town.
I feel disgust with my first boyfriend who made fun of our love in an abominable way.
I have always felt ashamed for some people's behavior to their too old parents. I have felt hurt and shy when they have left them to the mercy of fate.
I feel always guilty before my parents when I come home and have to tell them I have failed an exam.
When I failed my first exam at the Higher Institute.
A nuisance used to live in our flat a month ago. I experienced this feeling when I tried to chase her out.
After my father's death.
With an alcoholic.
Once I had dinner at an elegant restaurant and I did not have enough money to pay the bill. There were a lot of people there and I felt quite awkward.
Something very unpleasant happened when I was a soldier and I was directly involved in it.
I was terrified during an axcursion in Italy. I was lost and left alone in this unfamiliar country.
I took part in a football match. The referee was extremely partial to the opposite team. This stirred up my discontent and anger.
When my first girlfriend an I left each other.
During a summer holiday at a bar I happened to see a dead to the world woman.
When I first had a sexual intercourse.
I remember when I was a little boy I broke a Swiss dinner set quite involuntarily.
When I first sat for an entrance examination.
When a teacher though pretending to be a highly cultivated teacher and a man, slapped a classmate of mine in the face quite undeservedly.
When I got separated from my first love.
Many times, when my father used to come home drunk and maltreated physically me and my mother.
When for the first and the last time I tried to crib and the teacher was with her back to me but right when I was taking the materials out she turned round and saw me.
When at times unconscienciously I speak to my mother in a high tome but after that I am sorry and I feel guilty.
Watching a horror movie with friends.
The breakup of a relationship. After the event I was upset/sad then angry maybe 2/3 weeks later.
The funeral of a friend who was killed in a car accident. She was of my own age, there were many of my own friends present, as well as her family etc.
Disgust for a person who treated me badly, and has treated other people similarly - including lying, hiding facts, being deceitful, unfair, etc.
Losing my temper and allowing myself to act childishly by yelling and screaming at a person who I felt had done me wrong - in effect lowering myself to their level.
Guilt at often being unable to visit a close relative in hospital after her death I felt very guilty and wished I had done more.
Walking home at night after university - part of the way, there are ano lights and I am walking down a thoroughfare with the thouth of no one hearing me if I have to scream.
When my son omits to carry out certain duties at home that he knows needs doing.
When I saw my niece (5 yrs) crying in the hallway for her mother who had passed away about a month ago.
With a woman who had walked into my place of employment and urinated on the floor in front of everyone.
When I found a letter addressed "To Mum" by my son, 6 months later, he begged me not to sell his new shoes which he messed up after wearing them for the first time.
When I had lied to a friend/son about some things we had discussed and I had to be one better.
I had to tell someone that I was interested in remaining celibate and alone. And that my spiritual master strictly prohibited sexual relations outside of marriage. This caused great fear through lack of conviction afraid to hurt someone's feelings despite my own being hurt in the process.
In a sociology class I felt very angry towards some members of society for exploiting the Polynesian people, dawn raids by Police (Martin Luther King, Blacks in S.A.). But this was just a reflection of my own shortcomings.
Felt sad about some street kids in QUEII square, Aotea square. Because they had been sniffing glue and some were very young. I went into the role of a performing clown.
I was disgusted by my paranoid attitude towards myself, my homework at university and disgusted about my lack of retention. Especially in learning another language.
I felt shame at the hurt I caused to my family especially my parent father, shame of hurting people emotionally. A misconceived self-blaming that didn't do me any good. Shame at being myself as I am.
I felt guilty at being part of the successful people. Felt guilty at being a student when other people were not. Guilt about being a potential success in various areas of society. (So stupid this emotion)
A Maori language oral test, yeaterday - Although I had studied intensely - once in the examiners room "I blew it" -  I was so nervous I couldn't reply easily - It was very important, but I got only blankness.
A friend visited and made comments that my house/garden were not as neat/tidy as in the past. I'd not seen her a year - She implied I'd gone to the pack (I'd only been working full time, and taking 3 University exams part time).
When my father a 4th/5th generation colonial (from Eng.) attacked me verbally about my chosen partner. A man whom he discarded because his colour skin was not white. His ultimate disgust saddned me.
People who came to our home - and requested "Put out your smoke". That we should not smoke in our house... and asked not even politely. It disgusted me because I think people need to adapt to the situation.
Put down by my father - at a family outing at mutual family friends dinner. Told "Not to Speak". The attitude by him was negative/I was in mid 20s, I had done many things - a wide range of experiences. Probably greater than he.
Not attending school, when  am not sick - but in need of mental rest. Staff on your return query your "sickness" - it is easier in N.Z. to be sick, rather than confide other personal reasons etc.
A truck (big one) nearly mowed me off the road (I was driving a small Lazer).
A shop in Downtown wouldn't accept my Visa Card - before December last year.
My dog of 16 and 1/2 years - "Lord Grey" died in his sleep - His death caused me more and deeper sadness than I thought.
A sour looking man was beating his thin dog in Remuera.
I told Mr Winter of Downtown Fashion to go to - when he did not accept my Visa !
When I accepted a lunch invitation from a past male friend.
When my mother entered surgery for a quadruple heart bypass. I felt intense fear at the time she was actually wheeled away.
When my husband got picked up in our new car for drunken driving. We had made a pact the other would not drink and so therefore would be the driver for the evening etc. I was not present at the time.
When my grandmother died very suddenly without warning.
When the N.Z. rugby union announced that they would proceed with a rugby tour of South Africa.
When I was unable to respond to a welcome in my indigenous language of Maori at an important function where I was the only woman in the group and it was expected of me.
When I made an excuse to get out of participating in an important family occasion that I should not have missed.
I caught a huge eel on a fishing line which I had pulled into the boat. I cut the line and threw the whole lot back into the water. Later that day and about ten miles away I went swimming and someone made the comment wondering how far eels could swim, I abruptly ended swimming for fear at an unseen eel for a few days until we had left the district.
My partner without discussing with me the situation decided it was time for us to have a break and went ahead and arranged his own life for the next 6-12 months, then told me the day before it was about to happen having been tolerant and friendly for the preceding week.
I had been living in an overseas city and made the decision to leave the city and come home about 12 months before I met a whole new set of friends, leaving them at the airport was sad and traumatic as they had helped me in many ways and I knew I wouldn't see many of them again.
After I had managed to fail my first year at University I was scared as to what I was going to do with my future. I didn't want a mundane 9-5 job and yet I didn't know if I could pay my way through an unsubsidized year at university to settle down and continue my studies.
This situation keeps occurring - when my little sister disagrees with me or vice-versa. We have very similar temperaments and I always end up feeling angry at her and myself for fighting so much over unimportant trivial matters.
When my grandmother, who has been living with us for 14 years, had a stroke and was left paralysed on one side. She has been quite close to our family and to see her suffer in this way makes me feel really sad.
A gathering of a social sports club at which they proceeded to show pornographic videos and then afterwards (when most people had had quite a bit to drink) carried on in a very degrading, unmoral manner - especially females exposing and flaunting themselves with no shame or embarassment.
Like guilt - the most ashamed I have ever felt was when I began to feel guilty about having sex with my boyfriend when it was only "the thing to do", and not really an act of love.
This feeling of guilt really applies to moral/religious views. I (being Catholic) went against what I was brought up to believe in and had a sexual relationship with my boyfriend. Many months later, when I was doing some deeper self analysis I began to feel guilty and realized that I had gone against what I wanted for myself and my future.
My mother did not come home till late at night (Ages ago). Anyway if I don't know where my parents are and when they'll be back I start thinking that perhaps they have had an accident and are perhaps dead.
Because I am the Captain of a basketball team I usually organise a roster system so that everyone in the team can have a turn at doing either a duty or a ref. A lot of the time the girls can't be bothered or just forget - I usually have to fill in.
So as to be closer to the university I have left home and moved into Auckland. It now seems as if I have left home - especially my family - forever.
A friend of mine goes out with this guy. She sleeps with him but is quite happy for him to play around - as well as herself.
NO RESPONSE.
I did not attend a social studies observation class for 1 whole week (I am a student trainee teacher). Anyway the other teachers thought this was okay because the teacher I was supposed to observe was not well liked. The teacher was in fact really nice to me - but I wanted to get out of teaching a hard topic he had given me.
When I was in a car with my parents and friends and we had to back up (reverse) pass a river which when I recall it (I was only about 5 yrs) seemed we were going to fall in and drown.
When my boyfriend wouldn't dance with me on my graduation night because he thought I could dance with my friends who were friendly.
When my sister (really my niece) died of cancer at the age of 2 yrs after I took her to the doctor at the age of 1 and he diagnosed it.
My brother gave me a beating because he could not beat me verbally.
I found I was pregnant and unmarried.
When I had to go to reconciliation before converting to Catholicism but then once received - o.k.
I had this experience of fear when few people were fighting at a social one night, which one of my relative was involved. My fear was greatly for him because he was being assaulted badly.
Never really had the experience just yet - N/A.
This occurred when my girlfriend and I have to finish our relationship due to some circumstances between her and her family. I was really sad, hurt and couldn't really find any reason why am I still living. Is this life is all about ? This was one of few question which crept up vividly every time I thought about what had happened.
I'm very disgusted when I see people abusing their body with drugs and alcohol. They take advantage of these things usually for an excuse for the fantasies which they like and so they do things stupidly and unjustly.
NO RESPONSE.
This I experienced when going around with more than one girl.
Had fear of losing husband.
When present boyfriend's mother approached my parents and self - to leave her son alone - as she did not want me for a future daughter-in-law.
When boyfriend could not stand up to his mother or for himself.
Disgusted with boyfriend's mother - her overpowering, over-protecting and selfish attitudes.
When ditched - divorced by husband.
When I had to lie about my age to be accepted as a member of a group.
That if ever I was really naughty I would be sent away from my Mum and Dad to another family. I was fostered from age 5 and didn't get to Mum and Dad until I was 6 and then legally adopted at 14.
(1) My father died. (2) My natural father contacted me a year after my father died and this angered me more as I thought he should be dead and not my father.
My father died. I was away at the time and did not know until two days after.
A child told me she had been sexually abused by her step-father. I only knew the child and had not come into contact with either parent. I tried to do what was best for the child. The event and the stepfather disgusted me.
When my natural parents name would show up on papers and not my, what I call real name.
I lied to my mother in the sixth form she said she would ring to find out and I had to tell her I had lied.
When approached by a gang of youths in town at night.
When a man, a stranger to me, personally insulted a close woman friend of mine in public.
After my father died suddenly of a heart attack.
When a man spoke very sexistly in the company of some friends of mine.
When I went to explain to a lecturer whom I liked that the work expected of me was not going to be in.
When I masturbated in my room.
My daughter was 2 yrs she went up to a colt tried to hit it. It turned on her and kicked her over the heart, sent her flying through the air. I left my mother and sister to deal to her as they are nurses. I felt I didn't want to know if she was going to die, it was just too much.
My anger is with men, their inability to be human (not all men).
The saddest I've ever been was when my lover was killed, hitch-hiking to work.
With the N.Z. Rugby Union wanting to send the All Blacks to South Africa.
That my brother and father are into alcohol, two men with priviledge. Not using it positively.
When I betrayed my lover, she told me something in confidence, I felt at the time I had to relay the information back to the person concerned, as I felt the situation volitile, did this without telling my lover, she felt like piggy in the middle, as she was not directly concerned. Maybe you could call it gossip I felt different after I had slept on it. If I had waited, thought, NOW I would not have done it.
I walked up the main street of Auckland at 10 o'clock at night. I expected it to be very active with people, gangs, fast cars etc, thought it was actually quite quiet, though also oppressive. I walked about half a mile and bought a drink along the way.
Someone in my family (my brother I suspected) ate a bun which I had made for myself. It was during a long telephone call after I had just made it and put it in the oven warming drawer.
Sitting in a bus, I heard behind, the voice of a girl I was friendly with. After her talking for some time with another girl I decided it wasn't her in fact that someone miming her, which it was when I finally looked. I was talking to a friend at the time.
Having moved into a flat within the last week I felt some disgust that a bathroom tap had been left to drip with a faulty fawcet.
I criticised an action of my mother and for the first time she genuinely took notice of it. I felt shame that I was almost taking the part of a husband, or at least an equal which I should not.
I felt that I contributed to a possible rift in the relationship between a boy and girl soon to be married, in my flat after I moved in. After stating my celibacy to him which she overheard and didn't previously know about I suspect.
Being sexually assaulted (not rape, but passionate kissing) by a friend's father - he stopped when he was driving me home. I hadn't wanted the lift, had refused 3 times, and then felt it'd be rude to refuse again. Was really afraid of what he might do.
I live by myself and a few weeks ago was woke by a man on the end of my bed coming up my bed at me. I was really angry, told him to get out. He was surprised, hesitated; I started to move towards him and he backed off - kept telling him - loudly, but firmly to go. Because I'd got the initiative, I succeeded. A very powerful message.
When my grandmother died - I wasn't sad so much that she'd died because she was old, but because she lived in the last few years in an old people's home and had nothing very much that was hers - no chair, or private space, and when I went to visit she would be sitting in the "lliving" room the TV room. It was hopeless. And I felt awkward so I didn't go and I was sad 'cos how I couldn't.
When during a social evening with my father, brother, sister, close friend and my father's 2nd wife - I had an argument with my father, who abused my friend who was sticking up for me.
When the girl whom I have lusted after expressed reciprocal feelings and then days later changed her mind.
When a close friend wilfully cheated me.
While intoxicated I invaded someone's (a girl's) personal space to a large extent.
While intoxicated I damaged my sister's car in a minor way and someone elses in a minor way.
Fear of punishment for having broken an item of value to my parents.
That a friend had been badly beaten and stabbed many times and the person that did it got away without any punishment from the law.
The death of an animal we had reared.
Finding that a girlfriend of mine was a prostitute and had been seeing many others during our relationship.
Not having owned up to the responsibility an incident where family car received minor damage.
Had started a relationship and did nothing to keep it up, partly the use of another person.
Riding through a bush fire on an island of Australia - on a pushbike as a little boy - all alone, lost and surrounded by smouldering wood and flame.
When bicycling along, a courier van started to tail me very close - I sped up and moved over and he just did the same. I reacted violently, much physical responding in the dangerous situation.
My cat was sick and I had to take him to the vet to be put down - no one else there to do it.
When someone I had had a relationship (purely sexual) with came up to me after I had used her and acted as if nothing had changed.
When a close friend entrusted me with a secret and I let the cat out of the bag.
Making a sexual pass at my cousin with whom I have a very close personal relationship.
Waiting for a taxi - when within 1/2 an hour two separate people challenged me to fight for no apparent reason except they were drunk.
Deliberately provoked by someone close. Angered by the deliberation not the provocation.
My girlfriend let me down badly 3 times in one week. These instances summed up all the negative aspects of our relationship which at the time seemed doomed to fail.
A close friend took part in a racist violent action.
Cannot recall the emotion with any force.
Slept with someone close to my girlfriend and myself.
When I decided to leave my steady, secure employment to come to university. Because I didn't know if I could cope with all the requirements of study and also being older I didn't know if I would enjoy mixing with younger people, also financial insecurity.
When a close friend failed to live up to the expectations I had of him - thereby causing pain to his spouse. I believe that my anger was probably a reaction of fear that I wouldn't be able to live up to my own expectations.
Departure of a very close friend - for a long stay overseas, sharing in the sorrow of her parents who were left behind.
I get disgusted with the inherent racist attitudes of my brother-in-law in putting down various ethnic groups and also my unwillingness to challenge him about these attitudes in order to keep the peace.
My failure to provide the appropriate emotional/spiritual level to a sexual relationship that had a large physical content. Born out of inconsistency with my personal beliefs and value shame at largely using this sexual partner.
When I deliberately engineered a situation to cause tension between friends so as to bolster the impression one of them had of me !
Being harrassed for being gay; suggestions of being physically beaten - acting as informal bouncer in a gay bar.
Landlord putting up rents sneakly and slimily.
Listening and watching a tape of someone with AIDS being prejudiced against at a counselling course on AIDS with 20 others.
Hearing Norman Jones get hysterical in Parliament about law reform (on the radio - listening with 2 others).
Watching Muldoon act as my P.M.
Adolescent guilt growing up feeling "bad, immoral" sexual desires, some 10yrs ago.
Assaulted by drunken neighbour.
I was playing in a football tournament and saw the rules openly disregarded.
Death of brother.
Reading literature on AIDS/homosexuality.
I am ashamed at myself sometimes when I am working with handicapped people and don't wish to be seen in public with them.
I was late meeting someone for an appointment.
I was watching a movie alone - it was a horror movie. The music was a deep pulsing type - not really music. And a light flashed on and off. It was in the complete darkness of a movie theatre that was almost empty.
My sister and I were fighting as usual. She's older tham I am, bigger built and stronger I couldn't win in a physical battle and in a verbal battle I couldn't seem to get through to her to really hurt her.
My paternal grandmother had died. We weren't close but she was blood. I didn't cry but I was sad, partly due to her death and partly I think, due to the fact that I couldn't/didn't cry.
My older sister used to pick on my brothers and sisters all of whom were younger than her. On one occasion my brother did something my sister didn't like. A full-scale battle began.
My first real experience with a boy. We were alone. I was quite young and pretty naive and he was pretty crude and real, sort of, macho. It was dark, at night during the summer and we were talking.
I was using my sister's stereo while everyone was out. I know she wouldn't want me to and I would get into trouble if she found out. But she was only partly justified in forbidding me to use it. She never found out.
Being alone in Europe and having to catch a train and bus to the airport, then board the plane alone.
At school teacher for not allowing us to go out on New Year's Eve when on a class trip overseas.
I was in a car accident on the way back from a weekend rowing regatta we'd won. 5 others were in the car. I thought I'd never be able to row again.
Our boarder burping after meals !
Felt ashamed when in a group conversation and could not understand words or comprehend the topic of discussion.
Guilty when I hadn't walked my dog for quite a few days and had given her no attention.
When I was jumped by three men in a deserted area.
Once a person in authority (school teacher) was telling blatant lies about me and the headmistress would not let me defend myself. She was also telling lies about other members of my family.
When my mother died.
When somebody who had been a bully and had acted cruelly to others who were unable to defend themselves was taken down a few notches and he began to grovel. I was disgusted with his grovelling and the manner in which he had treated others.
When I was twelve I was babysitting some children but I did not act very responsibly and one of them was injured.
When something went wrong for me I lashed out at someone else whom I loved and who was not in any way responsible for what had happened (my sister).
Haven't been frightened for ages.
I visited a special education school. The headmaster applied a policy of strict positive - negative reinforcement to the children involved. Children who measured up to his standards were made a fuss of - children who didn't were ignored.
I felt sad with the two situations I described before. The cat and the school. Sadness was intermingled with the other feelings.
Next door nieghbour ran over his cat in driveway, he tried to finish it off with a flat shovel. I would have taken cat to veterinary to either kill humanely or cure.
Haven't felt shame for ages.
I borrowed a friend's books and forgot I had them, she asked for them back and I told her I didn't have them. I duly found and returned them.
Obscene phone call where the person knew my name.
At work being shifted to another area.
Enrolling at varsity, being told I couldn't get in to certain papers.
Noticing my flat had maggotts !
A serious drug error while nursing that I knew I was responsible for (patient lived, no complications fortunately).
Forgot to turn up on prescribed day for jury service.
When I was attacked by a teenage boy and had my wallet stolen.
Someone who was speeding was forced to slow down when I pulled out onto the road and proceeded to abuse me at the next set of traffic lights.
When someone I was close to became a paranoid schizophrenic and I was unable to see this person because of the situation.
When someone whom I considered my friend, without telling me he was annoyed, proceeded to ignore me for several meets with no apparent reason.
When some unforgiving acquaintance dragged up an old and rather embarassing situation from my past.
When I made a mistake at work and when questioned about it pretended I had nothing to do with the problem.
As a result of breaking the indicator light as mentioned for guilt.
Arriving home from work after a long and tiring day to find no dinner prepared as I had expected.
At the death of my husband's father's mother which occurred during university examinations and therefore I was unable to attend her funeral.
With a Manager who insists on making crude innuendos pertaining to sex.
Cannot remember such a situation.
Breaking the left hand indicator box by moving too close to structure.
Being driven by friend who suddenly swerved and skidded a little. It was night and on a long trip. We ended up on side of road.
Friend (male) hinted that my talking to other men at a pub was immoral. He implied that I should remain only with my boyfriend the entire evening.
On rising. No apparent reason.
Prolonged "niggling" of friend on a single theme which I considered of no consequence.
Felt I had not appreciated my parents enough. Regretted the problems I'd caused.
Boyfriend doing cleaning in situation where it was my job to do it. Later snapped at him over trivial thing. He looked downcast. I felt guilty - "he's just done all that work for me".
In a flat in Sydney - rough area at home on my own - the flat had been burgled the night before and no way of locking the door.
When the bus driver failed to stop and pick me up at a bus stop.
When my uncle died of leukemia at age 35.
Watching an alcoholic woman who was approaching everyone at the wharf for cigarettes - a prostitute in Auckland (elderly).
Stealing money from my parents when I was young.
Two timing - going out with 2 guys at once (secretly).
Watched a horror movie which involved sexual attacks on women.
My boyfriend promised to take me to see a game of tennis and rang saying he was going to the pub with some of his friends instead.
My mother was unwell and went for many cancer tests. She spent time in hospital being opened and closed many times.
I was driving along and saw this young guy urinating into the gutter, in broad daylight.
I kicked the dog outside on a cold night because he was annoying me. The next day he came down with the flu and we thought he was going to die.
I spent all weekend with a friend instead of studying for my exams.
Being alone at night.
In a hurry to get to lectures and the car would not start.
When grandfather died.
Obscene phone calls.
Being with a close friend, in the city, who was involved at the present point in time in outrageous activity.
Telling white lies.
Stopped at lights in Mangere late one Friday night on way home from work. Alone in car when someone came up behind the car and started banging and shaking it. Light was red and had nowhere to go until light changed. When green I took off.
When fired unjustly from a job as casual bar-person. Charged with giving away free drinks. Not done so and had witnesses to prove it - both patrons and bar staff. Other staff were supportive.
Close friend leave to go overseas for an indefinite period. Farewell scene at airport.
When employer made a pass at me whilst I was at work.
When caught shoplifting and the police were called in parents also informed.
When caught shop-lifting as for shame.
To talk in a meeting - expound my thoughts on a subject. Fear delayed me acting to do this.
Towards wife's laziness in not performing her usual duties because of television watching.
Watching suffering in Third World country.
Observation of people lost in the profit motive - i.e. business managers to their actions esp.
On own reading book. Recall came to mind of slight sexual exploitation of a female (years ago) i.e. had her on even for sexual motives.
Telling a lie to wife over phone about what I had been working at.
Confronted outside a party by some very nasty character - gesturing to a car full of mean-acting friends - felt in danger.
NO RESPONSE.
My cat died painfully and slowly.
Having unwanted attention paid to me in my place of work - harrassment (and sexual harrassment) by another worker - disgusted by his implications.
Close friend discovered I had deceived them. Felt shame at having done it and knowing that they knew.
Two-timing - going out with person other than guy I was in relationship with.
I was skiing alone and the mountain became covered with mist and I thought I was lost and was going to panic.
My parents didn't allow me to go to a social function that all my friends were attending.
While still at school a friend died of cancer, after being ill for a long time, she was 17 yrs old.
At a party my best girlfriend got really drunk and went off with a guy she knows I really like.
I was severely reprimanded for a trivial offence in front of members of my peer group while still at school.
Someone asked me to do something and I made up an excuse and said no. I then went and didn't the same thing with someone else and hoped the first person never found out.
When I had to give a speech about some historical event, to an audiece of about 200 people my own age whom I did not know.
In arguments with a close friend or relative where my point of view is completely disregarded.
When my grandfather whom I had met only once for 3 weeks, died after several months. I was really sad because he was a lovely person and I did not have the means for his company.
I once saw a programme on TV describing how certain wild life films were made and was disgusted by the treatment of certain animals in this particular programme of the polar bear.
The 2nd time someone I had met cared for came over to my house I was absolutely inebriated and was sick into a bucket.
The first time I went away with my boyfriend and lied about where we were staying.
When riding in a very fastly-driven car on a lose metal road at a very late hour - no other cars on road, and driver was taking corners very sharply. I felt afraid - because if an accident happened, the area was very isolated. Also, I feared for driver, after I was dropped off - would he make it home safely.
When at very short notice I agreed to work in place of a friend who was sick, and owner of the restaurant refused to allow me a drink later in the evening (which is usually always available for workers), did not thank me, and was generally indifferent towards me - I felt I did not deserve this.
When I learned that my former boyfriend had become engaged - although I was glad that he had found what he wanted, I was very sad at my own personal loss, since I had always hoped we might one day reconcile.
When reading a newspaper story of a man who had committed incestuous acts on his two-year old child - the thought that anyone could do such a thing is abhorrent to me.
When dropping a carton of boiling soup onto a co-worker's leg - causing great pain, and for me, severe embarassment at my own ineptitude, and shame that another person suffered as a result.
When my sister had the opportunity to do some modelling work. And I was quite jealous - later on the photographer decided not to take her photograph, and she was very upset - I felt guilty as a result, almost as if I had caused her to lose her opportunity, by not being genuinely happy for her in the first place.
A friend (female) and I were on holiday on Great Barrier Island by ourselves. One night we were nearly raped by about 20 locals - they came to our bach and tried to break the doors down. All of them were stoned or drunk and we hid under the bunks and were totally terrified. Eventually these guys gave up and went looking for us on the beach. We escaped and slept in the bush for 2 nights.
I "cooked" the engine in my father's car - it was actually his fault because he hadn't fixed the temperature gauge or told me. When I finally got home I was absolutely screamed at and the anger I experienced was over the injustice of it all plus the huge row which developed.
This sounds really predictable and usual but it was absolutely heart-rending at the time. My first lover (I was 15) just rang up one day and announced that he had found another woman. I never saw him again and it hurt because I was positive that it was "TRUE LOVE" !!
I once saw an old man up the road, fossicking through the rubbish bins and the gutter. I was really disgusted at first but I've seen him a few times since then and now I feel really sorry for him and I often give him cigarettes when I see him, because he mainly goes after cigarette butts and it is revolting.
When I was 15 my mother discovered various items in my room which 15 year olds aren't usually expected to have - mainly alcohol, marijuana and contraceptives !
NO RESPONSE.
Skiing down a very icy slope, very fast in white-out conditions. Out of control with no idea of what I was doing or where I was heading.
My best friend at school told lies about me to a boy I was seeing and went out with him herself.
I found a baby opposum on the road and took it home and cared for it for a week. It had to be force-fed and carried in a fur pouch under my jersey. My father had the vet put it to sleep as he said they carried diseases.
A boyfriend with whom I split up with came over to a friend's house where I was visiting with a male friend. In a confrontation in another room he tried to find out if I was aroused by my friend by feeling my parts.
I told my primary teacher I hadn't done my homework as my mother was in a car accident. My teacher rang that night to see how my mother was - she was fine i.e. no accident !
I told my pesent boyfriend that I was an Australian as are my parents. As the relationship developed I found it harder and harder to confess and became sure it would end our relationship. He eventually found out when told in front of me by my mother.
When I was very young and we moved as a family to Auckland from Wellington, this meant new school and friends (etc.).
When someone ignores what I am saying or doesn't let me have my point of view and they monopolise a conversation.
When I got into an argument with someone and was very abusive, but they were a close friend and I later regretted it.
When a close relative got quite drunk. It was a relative that I had respected for a long time and looked up to as a child.
When I had come home drunk the day after a party, I felt very ashamed in front of my parents.
When I crashed by bike into an old lady crossing a road and knocked her down.
As a passenger in a vehicle travelling from the steep side of Arthur's Pass in the middle of a sleet-storm, icy roads, sheer chasms to one side, sheer face to the other.
As in sadness (A), relating to this slaghter of fur-seals.
A) A documentary in which baby fur seals were being clubbed/spiked to death by Canadian seal-hunters. Brutally graphic.
B) Description of a disfigured orphaned child in Hiroshima calling for her mother.
The repression of rioting and non-rioting "Blacks" in South Africa by the police of that "Democracy".
Breaking an implicit promise.
At the age of 12 (or so) I stole from a Ranger's fruit tree an apple. (And eventually was compelled to confess - Dostoersky would like this).
I imagined I heard footsteps up the hall while sleeping in bed one night by myself in the house.
Stopped at a Fast Food shop with friends and a few locals wanted to fight us for no apparent reason. They hit and picked on one of my friends.
My father recently having a heart attack - spending a few months in hospital.
My flatmate and close friend living and sleeping with another close friend of mine.
Sleeping with a girl on a Saturday night and then not contacting her in later days.
Stealing money from a milk token jar from a close friend of the family when visiting.
Held under water by a large wave and thought I was drowning.
Came back from surfing to find car broken into and gear and money stolen.
Caused a family disturbance.
Friends calling me fat - pear shaped in front of a nice girl.
When I considered writing a load of crap for this emotion.
Beating my brother up.
Mugged while on holiday in the U.S.A.
I am one of four directors of a company. We inherited land held by our family - ours is the 5th generation. A "democratic" decision was made to stap-bank an area of mangroves.
Social situation - at the pub - a close friend of 2 years told the group around us of advances I had made.
A drunk walked out in front of a car at night. Both lower legs were broken. His shoe was thrown about 50 yards after the accident.
My father died 4 years ago, 18 months after my mother died. I feld my sister was responsible for his death, in that she "hadn't loved him". I felt ashamed for myself, and for my family.
My grandmother wanted me to help her. I was driving a tractor pulling a dead branch off a tree. I told her she didn't respect me.
Canoeing across harbour in winds - 20 knots and rising seas.
Brother continually interupting while I was talking on the telephone.
Hearing of the death of a friend who had been skiing.
Flicking through a magazine showing pictures of homosexual men committing various acts.
Being caught by parents in a compromising situation with girlfriend.
Describing to mother how a hole in the wall had appeared while I was babysitting.
Almost crashing into the back of a car while driving along the motorway on my motorcycle.
When my girlfriend of two years told me it was all over.
A person I really like left for overseas for a few months, I had hoped to go out with her soon.
I deliberately avoided a person who I wanted to hurt, and who wanted to talk to me.
I passed on some gossip that was untrue and cause two friends to have a fight who were already experiencing difficulties with each other.
Missing lectures and avoiding university work for no reason when it had to be done.
I went to see a movie and I went with a friend, it was really frightening and it made me stop and think about the world around me and what it is really like out there. I was frightened all that night.
When my flatmate put me down because she "thought" she was better than me, or she felt she was.
When a very close friend of mine went into hospital for a major operation and I couldn't see her for a while as I was not a relative she had no relatives in N.Z.
One of my very good friends came to me for advice as her boyfriend had been hitting her and beating her quite harmfully.
When I let my girlfriend use my essay to help her to write hers and the tutor found them alike.
When I had to lie to my boyfriend so that he wouldn't suspect I'd bought him a xmas present as expensive as I had.
I was walking home one night (after getting a bus to my town) when I was confronted by a group of males (about 6), they would not let me pass - they made comments etc. - I crossed the road and hurried home.
I lent a text-book to a person I did not know very well, they lost the text-book and gave me no compensation.
At the beginning of the year I moved to a new city - I felt sad as I had to leave many friends and family members behind.
I read a newspaper article about dogs being stolen in order to use them for fighting purposes.
I was amongst a group of people talking about how the Maori people were stirrers and causing trouble in our country. I felt shame to be a pakeha when other pakehas had such narrow conservative views.
I took my father's car to church one Sunday (I told them that's where I was going ) I decided instead to go for a drive to the beach - on the way I got a puncture.
Thinking that I had been seen smoking at school by a teacher - waiting to be summoned to the headmaster's office.
When my mother rejected my boyfriend and made unfair judgements on him.
At my grandfather's funeral - My grandparents virtually raised me as my mother was a solo-parent and had to work.
Watching a TV documentary on seal clubbing.
I ate very fattening food in front of my boyfriend who would like me to lose weight. I am supposedly pursuing a modelling career but first I must lose weight. I had been trying to diet.
I let my pet budgie loose to fly around my room one afternoon. A few hours afterwards I found he was still free, went in and out of my room leaving the door open. My cat got in and killed my budgie - this happened to 3 budgies.
A large german shepherd dog ran and barked at me (he didn't bite fortunately).
Most recently when the chairman at the New Zeeland Rugby Union announced that the All Blacks' would accept the invitation of South Africa to play rugby in that country.
When I was told a friend's baby had been born with only partial sight. This was her first child and she was not young (the mother that is).
When I first saw the state of a cafeteria in the grounds of the university. Due to students own lack of concern for the environment in which they eat and drink. Rubbish and spilled tea and coffee left everywhere.
When I as a Pakeha (white) new Zealander, was just as racially prejudiced as other people whom I had condemned.
When my husband discovered I was having an affair with another man.
I was hitchhiking and was picked up by a stranger he drove into the woods and wanted to make love with me, I refused and escaped from the car. When walking in the wood and hearing the car I was afraid.
In a discussion the leader wanted to stop because she was of the opinion that we were not involved and she misjudged our reactions as negative. We however only posed several questions which she couldn't answer.
When my grandmother died. She stayed with us until I had the age of 10. When she died I was 13 and I remember the moment after the funeral: I sat on the table and cried.
When I heard about the disaster in Bophal (India).
Once in a public ladies room, I opened the door of a cubicle that was taken, although it was not locked.
In a playground I was playing at the seesaw with a little niece. I wanted to stop but nobody came to help me. When I got off, all alone the seesaw fell down with a big smash. My niece got hurt above her eye. Now there is a scar.
Sleeping alone in a tent, while hearing several noises such as rustling etc, I am afraid that there are people who are up to no good.
A man kept a seat taken by putting his coat on it after a while the chair was still empty, I asked him if I could use the chair, he didn't agree for the chair was for his coat.
When the relationship with my girlfriend broke up.
A piece of work was marked as bad by the teachers I and some fellow students didn't agree with their vague criticism. I felt myself taken in by the teachers and felt disgust.
Some weeks ago I experienced a day that everything went wrong I broke several things I felt very ashamed for I am not a sloven.
I had made an appointment with a girl to go to the movies, but actually I had no mind when we arrived at the cinema, it was a full house. I then went back and she went to the movie alone.
At the age of 12 years I always had to take care of my little brother and sister I never could sleep then. I always imagined creepy men sneaking into our house.
The landlord had selected a new lodger on her own, while we used to do that it was not what she had done, but how she did it that made me angry.
It was a complex situation concerning a relationship with a boyfriend, I had broken the relationship for some reasons. Meanwhile, as I felt it, I had most sorrow.
I saw a terrible accident happen and I laughed a lot of the fright and because I was nervous.
My mother wants to talk very often about her life. I dislike this because she always talks negatively about the same people whatever I do it doesn't help.
I have a fobic anxiety for elevators. This anxiety is worst at the moment when the doors have to open. I have it often in the elevator at our university.
When someone accuses me without reason and is not willing to listen to me.
My boyfriend decided to make an end to our relationship.
A person I know who tells lies and so pretending to be better than she is.
When I am in an auditorium with people and I ask a silly question so that everyone starts to laugh.
I moved to Nijmegen for my study. Soon after this my mother had to be admitted in hospital because of cardiac compliants. I knew that my moving was an important reason for this.
I was afraid when my first boyfriend threatened to make an end to our relationship because he didn't love me enough while I loved him very much.
A good friend deceived me. Because of that little quarrel our relationship finished, mainly because she was not honest. I was very angry about that.
I was very sad when my first boyfriend finished our relationship.
I was once raped (one year ago) by a man who was a lot older than me and whom I just met. Maybe it wasn't rape but the man wanted more than I wanted to give him since there were other people in vicinity.
I felt shame when I didn't study enough for my exams and as a result I failed. I then invented idle stories to talk it good for myself and the others.
I felt guilty when I once went out with another boy and made love with him while I had a close boyfriend.
When I was sitting in a car next to a man who was masturbating.
When my mother told things to my sister, which I told my mother in confindence.
Tonight in bed when I realised how bad my relationship with my friend was.
When I was in Eindhoven on an Exhibition of Hernan Nitsche, who made paintings with real blood. There were also photographs about the killing of cows.
When I made an end on a relationship after three years.
That I didn't want my friend to leave on holiday for 10 days because I thought I would miss him. I was constantly trying to persuade him.
When my cat ran under a car and came home wounded. He could hardly walk. I didn't dare to go to a veterinarian because I was afraid he would kill him.
I had to unscrew something on my car. I didn't succeed after two afternoons of trying. A feeling of anger built up itself.
Losing my girlfriend who made an end to our relationship. By this I lost an important source of support, certainty and joyful moments. I cried very intensly when that happened.
A few days ago I saw two dandy girls of my age. I disliked their clothes and their way of doing.
During carnaval I danced for a few minutes normally I don't dance because I am rigid in my moving around during a dance, I stopped very soon.
I had a girlfriend which I used to call regularly. Then I didn't phone her for a while. At a certain moment I felt a little tension which became worse.
When I went out with my dog in a forest late at night when we were on a camping.
I had an appointment with someone at a certain time. The other person didn't appear.
When I entered the operation theatre and underwent a difficult operation.
When my friends left without waiting for me, after we had arranged to go out together.
When they gave away my dog to other people without my knowledge.
When I had to eat scraps from a dust-bin, because of a bet.
At the airport, eighty beer cans that I was carrying in a bag spread all around while I was going through the metal detector.
When I took a car which was not mine, and suddenly it stopped working.
On the scenic railway at the fairground.
At having an argument with a stranger, in the street.
[ The same as in guilt.]
When I entered a toilet in a bar and it stank.
When I was a child, one day, I was going home late at night and I did not notice an uncovered man hole and fell in it.  I was in there for several minutes.
One day, when I was a child, my grandmother shut me up in a room.
The day I left my first girlfriend.
One day I was in the countryside with several friends, and we began to eat figs, after we were all full we noticed that all the figs were full of worms.
When I got my fingers stuck in one of the side holes of the door, in the tube.
I ran over my dog with a bicycle when I was carrying him tied to the handle bar.
I found myself involved in a fight in which a person died and I had to intervene with some risk.
An argument among friends in which my opinions on the way to spend spare time were disapproved.
I was forced to leave an unforgettable friend.
I saw the gare of a prison.  This gare and the building were in deplorable condition and were full of rubbish.
A mishap suffered on misinterpreting a girl's proposition.
I thought that I could have avoided the above situation (the one in fear) if I had concentrated more on my work, which I hate.
Before I had a tooth pulled out.  I was very upset and ill.
When the Real Madrid football team lost against the inter in the U.E.F.A cup.
When my dog died.  I had reared it for nearly three years.  It had been ill for several days and had not eaten anything.  One morning I found it dead.
On a trip to Santander a child sitting beside me fell ill and started to vomit, seeing this made me feel very bad.
I fell down in the bus when it braked suddenly and everybody started looking at me.
When I finished a test type of exam and did not dare to answer any question, I doubted whether I would pass the exam  or not.
When I heard about the treatment of a friend in jail. Really inhuman. I never realised that such things also happen in the Netherlands.
I cannot remember a situation in which I felt ashamed. I was eating with some people and a little boy I took care of. I warned him often not to knock down his glass of mild. When I took out his chair I knocked down my own glass.
My mother always took my side. That brought about quarrels with my father. I knew she didn't like that and I felt very sorry for that.
Together with a little brother I biked on a lonely road in the Polder. Then we were annoyed by a boy on a motorbike: he took over, stopped, took over, etc. Then we saw he had something in his hand, we turned until we came across a man, who accompanied us.
We lived with 3 persons in the loft of a house. It often occurred that other persons again and again climbed the stairs with much noise. When I was studying I couldn't concentrate and got angry.
I partly colored my hair black. My mother didn't like it and reproached me to be a "subversive element". Later on she stated that this was due to my friends. As I see it, this all resulted from colouring my hair.
I was shopping in Utrecht with friends, we also ate some chips and snacks in a snackbar, then we saw a shabby fellow. He took a cold half eaten croquette (a snack) from a rubbish bin and eat it.
I had subscribed for this test. We were informed by our secretary where the test took place. We went over there and thought there was a course. So we went back again I felt ashamed that the secretary again should see me.
I was out with a friend in a place where it was very, very busy. When we wanted to go I bumped a person, who dropped his glass beer I offered a new one but he didn't accept it.
My father was very angry with me, and I locked me up in the shower. Then my father knocked his fist through the door, I was scared to death.
My sister borrowed some LP records for a party. She had left them in the car on curatao. Due to the heat they were crooked, so I couldn't play them again.
When my grandmother died, her life was heavy and her last hours were terrible.
When I watched TV and saw a performance of "Prince" (a popidol). Disgusting he'd better be a stallion.
We had arranged a beach party with 20 people. There my father got drunk I felt very ashamed.
When I flew out to my mother and made rude remarks because I felt so tense (studied too hard for an examination).
I am thinking about death, the eternal of it, the unknown, the sense of being here. Often, laying in bed in the dark and quiet, the fear makes me feel dizzy.
If they force me to eat something I don't like. For example, my parents always twaddle and whine, when I don't eat all the food.
I had to leave Den Helder and all friends and acquaintences, after having spend two weeks there with my friends.
Being on view in a meat-factory. Pigs being cut open, pigs being suspended from nods, blood everywhere, decompsition.
When I have suffered a terrible fit of eating, that frequently occurs. Then I eat everything, I act like a glutton I eat big amounts of food, sometimes even half a loaf.
When my father (physically handicapped) asks me to do something and I raise several objections. Often I can fix it in few moments.
When the relationship with my first girlfriend broke up and I realized it too late.
Someone who always took care for the key of the sportshall stayed away without letting us know. Next time he did as if nothing had happened.
When my last relation broke up.
When working in a chemical laundry, I saw rats and maggots in the washing.
When I forgot the birthday of my best friend and I innocently came to visit her one week later.
When I made love with a girl, which I don't really love. However I know that she loves me.
I was walking in the wood at night with my boyfriend. Very romantic. Suddenly I heard a car driving very slowly with the lights out, it looked as if they were looking for something.
I am a teacher in arts and crafts (boys from 15-16 years). for them it is obligatory and they dislike it. They tease me. When one of them cut up some material I flared up.
My sister was in coma for 3 months (due to a train accident). Now her brainfunctions are disturbed. She will never be able to walk and she can hardly talk.
I lived together with my boyfriend. One night he stayed away and next day he told me that he had chat up with another girl.
I talk too much, cannot keep things secret. I promised a friend not to tell something to anybody. Neverthless, I did, and she got informed about it. I felt very ashamed.
My parents appreciate very much me and my boyfriend coming and have dinner with them at Christmas. However we decided to visit his parents. My mother was rather disappointed.
Once sitting in the cinema, I became very anxious (watching a "cold" film). I do not know the reason.
I work for a journal. Once the lay-out came to nothing, due to thoughtlessness of some colleagues.
My mother was stuck by an apoplectic fit, was hemi-paralyzed and suffered an aphasia.
Each time I am confronted with reports about repression and torture.
I wrote a letter to my father to ventilate my bottled up feelings. Afterwards I thought it was too negative.
I chatted up with a girl who I didn't love. She however was fallen in love with me. I felt responsible for her sorrow.
On a holiday in France I made a walk in the woods all alone and very relaxed. Then a motorbike took me over and I saw the man watching all the time. Suddenly the man stood behing me and I ran away fast.
I invited two friends. We should go out together. Those two girls kept talking about boys, chatting up etc. I bacame sick of it.
I felt very sad when my boyfriend wanted to break our relationship. Our relationship lasted two years, we shared everything and all this was finished.
I broke an egg, with which there was something wrong, into a little cup. There was a thick white "wad" in it. I tried to take it out and throw it in the sink.
When I was 10 years old I stained our bench with a fountain-pen, I tried to twin the cushions, but then there were colour nuances. Then my mother catched me, she saw it and became very angry.
I spend the night with my boyfriend, while there was also a friend of his. We all lay on the floor to sleep. When my boyfriend was fallen asleep the other boy and I started petting. After 15 minutes I felt miserable and awoke my boyfriend to tell him that.
I went to the ballet lessons with a little friend in the dark. On a very quiet place a boy approached us from behind and asked at what time the lesson would be finished. I gave him an avoiding answer, he took me up and wanted to run away with me.
I was sleeping nicely until in the middle of the night when I became awake because a friend called me for some (in my opinion) nonsens reason.
My boyfriend with whom I had a longlasting relationship, fell in love with another girl, then he asked me something which implied that he loved that girl more than he loved me.
On school, during a fancy fair, there was a stand of amnesty international. There I read (for the first time) a description of the tortures of a woman, what they did to her.
A friend catched me while masturbating. I am not fully sure whether she saw it or not.
When I was 4-5 years old my mother gave me some parts of a chocolate bar and ordered me to bring it to my father working outside. On my way I could not resist the temptation and ate it myself.
When I had left my home, my father, under false pretences, got me in his car and drove home where we were all alone. He was seethed with rage because I withrew from his authority. He hit me, kicked me and threatened me.
When my father took away my cherised diaries to burn them (I was also very sad) "Oh, how I hated him".
I felt very sad when I left home because I could not stand it any longer. I do not regret it, but I missed my little sister very much (and she missed me). These feelings wear off over time.
A friend and a girlfriend went to Rome for 10 days with their class. When they were back home I heard people tell "strange" stories about my friend and that girlfriend.
When my mother found a leaf of my diary where I had written about my mother's lack of education, especially her poor arithmetical insight.
Very often I take care for my little sister and oversee her duties. Most of the time everything went fine, but sometimes she absolutely didn't want to obey; then I hit her (we frequently were hit by our father).
When I was six years old we were on holiday in France. There was very heavy weather then.
A quarrel with my mother because I thought she said very unreasonable things about me, that hit me strongly.
The disease and subsequent death of a close acquaintance. Sadness was accompanied with feelings of powerlessness (I also experienced sadness in the situation described under guilt).
When I take a look into a slaughter-house and when listening to stories about torturing people or animals.
Making bloopers: e.g. telling something negative about a certain person, while that person is standing besides you and hears everything.
I wanted to finish a relationship after 3 months. Unfortunately my friend had a different opinion. I could not answer his feelings this made him unhappy, and me feel guilty.
Fear to come and live in Nijmegen.
When the coach of our team degraded me to the second team.
When a friend died.
When I saw a documentary film about World War II (about Hitler and his adepts).
When I embarrassed a friend by asking him aloud if a certain person was "the source of gossip" he told me about, while that person was also present.
When I realised that I had rejected a boy, who was fallen in love with me, rather bluntly four times.
Just before I started my study I had to move, I was very afraid to be left alone and that I could not manage it.
When anybody wants to make me feel guilty. For example: I should do something for my mother, but things didn't go as she hoped. Then she threatens: I'll do it myself.
When a close friend took leave of me, because she went to Israel for one year.
I wanted to take something from under my bed. While doing this I felt a dead bird laying under my bed.
I stayed at home for a period because I felt depressive and I neglected my study when people adked me, I told them that I had freeterm and studied hard. I felt ashamed for my behavior and lies.
After a quarrel with my mother in which matters were "inflated" enormously.
In college, I started a discussion with the teacher referring to a question I posed. I felt very unsure and I was afraid to fail.
While playing indoor-hockey, there always is an older man who frequently and intentionally plays the ball out of the field. In my opinion this is very childish, because we play for fun only.
I was together with my family one night, a few days after my father had died, during that conversation I expressed my displeasure because nobody understands me.
Salo, a movie film by Pasolini. People were misused and tortured for the fun of a few elder Italian authorities, during World War II.
I was jerking me off in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mother came in. She looked at me and immediately left the room.
My girlfriend and I agreed to go to the cinema. However I completely forgot our appointment. I remembered it two hours too late when I went to visit her.
I was walking alone in the street late at night (2.30 am). It was very quiet. Then a man approached me and said "Hello".
When, late at night, I discovered that they had stolen my bike.
When a friend, after being free of drugs for half a year, started using them again.á
In a disco, there was a dirty little chap who punched my bottom.
When a friend who comes visiting me unexpectedly asks for coffee and I refuse to give him this.
Watching a football game. This remindes me of the time when my father was still alive and when we watched football games on TV together.
Seeing someone who has bleeding nose.
Asking someone to give me back the money I once lend him because I needed it myself.
When I tell someone no. In other words when I refuse to do something although I could have helped him.
One night at three o'clock I was followed by a cardriver, who tried to molest me.
My father promised me a bicycle for my birthday. Just before my birthday he forgot he promised this to me.
A younger brother of a good friend of mine died (asthma).
I read a book about torture. The book described exactly how the torturing was done.
I made a joke about the rat of a boy. I compared his rat with a sausage. I told the boy he had a delicious sausage.
After a courtship of three months I made an end to it. The boy was very sad about this.
I had a dream about my fiancTe leaving me and making an end to our relation.
My bicycle was demolished.
During the funeral of my grandmother, when I saw my mother and other family members crying.
A fellow student who seemed very nice later on proved to be a slimy fellow towards a professor.
My father was very angry with another man in the presence of my friends.
I once drank too much alcohol and became very ill. This was in the presence of my friends.
I was raped by a friend.
Last year I had a friend visiting me for several days. The only thing he did was sleeping, drinking, taking pills and thinking only about himself.
My girlfriend does practice and therefore leaves me alone at night and in the weekend. In addition, she is very busy doing several things. So we don't see each other often.
My father suddenly fell ill. He stayed for 3 months in the hospital: the last month on intensive care of the Academic Hospital, then he died.
Bisshop Ter Schure intoduced himself on TV to the Dutch Nation. He spoke as if he was God himself, and didn't discuss the way he had achieved this position.
After having failed my driving test.
When I see that my mother forces my little brother (15 years) to work very hard for school. I don't agree that she constantly puts him to work, but I don't tell it to her, so nothing changes.
Once, late at night, I was biking home and overtook a man. He said to me "Hello darling" I was terrified and imagined the wildest scenes.
My parents thought that I didn't do my best to pass the final examination (secondary school). When I achieved a good grade they said nothing, but if I had had a bad grade they would have become very angry.
When I caused much pain and sorrow to my boyfriend by finishing our relationship.
When I read about or think about environmental pollution, the armor race, starvation, etc. Then one realizes that mankind is bad, most important is power and money, at the cost of nature and mankind.
When I imitated a teacher behind his back - walking very silly.
I told someone that I still had a relationship with a boy although it was finished already 3 months before. That person seriously discussed several things relating that issue. Then I felt very miserable because I had told lies.
As a child I suffered of nightmares. Even since than, I have never been so anxious and fearful.
When talking with my sister, she often ventilates prejudices, which my father also adheres.
I was in a hopeless situation in a dirty place. No study, no work, only loneliness.
It is very difficult to relate it to a certain event. I am familiar with the disgust of Sartre (la nausTe), a frequently occurring cause may be described as "the self-assured dullness".
Recently, I left my bag in the car of someone who picked me up while hitch-hiking. I spent some effort to find out where he lived (I succeeded).
In Biarritz (the South of France) I met some English students who, especially for me, went to Paris and gave me food, while I didn't have any more money.
When my father suffered with dizziness. He had to be hospitalized, because the physician didn't know what was wrong. Because his stools were black, I thought it could be cancer.
When I arranged our holiday in Paris, and my girlfriend raised criticisms all the time.
When it suddenly appeared that our dog was dangerously ill and probably would die. We had not expected this because he was always very healthy. Fortunately he survived because we, in turn, gave him medicines during the night.
When a girl in my class (on the secondary school) appeased the teacher, resulting in getting a higher grade. This occurred often with her.
When I arrived too late at a meeting of mentor (the night before the introduction of novices on the University start).
When my father told me that I should help my mother more often, because she was so busy. And I realized that he was right.
I lived in a student-house, where you shared the lavatory and shower with a fellow student. the shower cubicle formed the connection between both appartments. My neighbour very often was drunk and aggressive. One night, I was afraid that he would enter my room.
I suffer from a disease of my muscles. Therefore, I am only able to attend lectures for half a day. So, sometimes I miss obligatory lectures. However, the teachers do not take into account my disease, and punish me with detention work, resulting in an overload.
I suffer form a disease of my muscles. However, I cannot talk about it and my feelings, the consequence with my parents. They try to repress it.
Grandfather lives in a home for the elderly. He always looks forward to visits. On his birthday (by coincidence it was on "Mummy's day") however, nobody went to see him. Is the own family more important than grandfather ?
Going out for dinner, or during one ice-cream and four spoons.
I borrowed a piece of music of someone and I always forgot to give it back. That person wrote me a letter asking me to give it back. I did so and I told him an idle story why I kept it for so long.
When armed robbers broke into our house at night.
When a pick-pocket robbed me of my money (K20) while I  was buying bathing soap.
When I failed the grade seven examination.
When my friend who was drunk insulted me in public for no reason at all.
When I tried to steal a book from the bookshop and was caught.
When I was caught with another man's wife.  I had taken the opportuinty as this man was abroad but he returned that night.
When I had gone for a boxing tournament which ended at 2 o'clock in the morning.  I was alone on my way back, and I could hear the barking of the dogs, the nocturnal animals and the sound of my     own footsteps.  There had been a rumour  circulating that there were ghosts in that area.
In 1983 a sadist provoked my sister in my presence.  He tried to force my sister into accompanying him to his place, but my sister did not agree and so she was kicked and she fell down.  There was a fight.
When my father passed away in 1978.  I was left alone with my mother who was very sick so I had to go and live with my aunt, who is very short tempered, till my mother was discharged from the hospital.
When I learnt that my best friend had failed the exams.
I broke my friend's badminton racket and she kept quiet about it.
I was in form five at the boarding school and my friends and I had gone drinknig beer in the nearby village.  And we were caught red handed there by a form master.
When my mother quarrelled with my aunt over me.
My elder brother had been expelled from college and he was so frustated that he attempted suicide - he drank bottle fragments.  I was very sad when I learnt this.
I found out accidentaly that while my uncle was away in Canada, my aunt had been bedding a young man on a regular basis.
It was during a school holiday - I was found necking a girl in my room by my father.
I was in grade seven and my class was planning a protest against a rude and immoral teacher.  I sneaked out and told the headmaster about it and so the plan was foiled.
A close relative of mine died in a serious car accident.  I was one of the first two people to see the corpse and I had to do it.  Before going in to see it I was afraid as it was the first time that I was seeing a corpse.
My younger brother destroyed and gave away some of the books that I had intended to keep for as long as possible.
When a close relative of mine passed away, it was the first time that someone so close to me had died.
A person whom I thought to be honest took and spend the little money that I had and I had no way of getting any money in the few following months.
While watching a religious film, I got very excited and made a number of comments which were reproached to me by an elderly person who respected me.
I beat up a female friend after I heard the defamatory stories that she had been telling.  I was later called to explain my behaviour.
Before one of my final exams of the third year - natural sciences.
When some seniors tried to scold and insult some juniors on account of what the juniors were supposed to have said at secondary school.
When an uncle of mine, who was close to me, passed away after having had a stroke, before his first daughter could be named.
When my sister's boyfriend accused her of having been sleeping around.
When I could not hold my bladder while making a telephone call and ended up wetting myself.
When I was made to feel responsible for the emotional state a friend of mine was in.
My fiancT left me for my best friend.
People who discriminate other people disgust me.
On New Years eve I drank too much alcohol, so much that I had to vomit in the presence of other people.
I have cut loose from my father a few years ago. I know he is very sad about this.
I was sexually assaulted one night by a stranger.
Meddlesomeness of my mother about the way I live. She thinks I am to free in my behavior for instance when a boyfriend stays the night.
The dying of a close member of the family.
Seeing maltreated, dead animals.
A much older man took advantage of me during my childhood (four to eight years of age).
When my friend needed my help very much and I, at that moment, made an end to our relationship.
When a man rang the doorbell and wanted to enter the house with violence. I was alone at home that moment.
A friend came to visit me late one night. He promised to stay only a quarter of an hour, but he stayed 5 hours !! He didn't leave and I was very angry.
I had to terminate a training because I wasn't suited for it. I was very sad about this, because I very much wanted to finish that training.
During my birthday party a friend drank too much alcohol. So much that he had to throw up. Worst of all was that he couldn't leave my friend alone and that he was molesting her.
I tried to swindle a jeweller because my watch was broken and I wanted to have it repaired it was a pity but they detected it.
Someone had to do a lot of efforts to make something work. With my help he would have finished much sooner, but I wasn't in the mood to help him.
I wanted to get in contact with a girl I loved, but I was afraid she would refuse me.
During military service a superior reproached me unjustly. This led to friction in a lot of situations.
Disappointed love. The girl made an end to our relationship while I thought she was in love with me.
During military service I heard the story of someone who tried to commit suicide and as a result of this got a week custody.
I thought of myself as being clumsy when I made love for the first time with a girl.
A friend of mine had a bicycle-accident because I pulled at his handlebar.
Sitting alone in a quiet room, concetrating on things happening around you. Thoughts come into my mind which make me afraid.
When a teacher tells a story which isn't true. It only reflects his way of interpreting reality.
I have high expectations for my future but if I pursue the subject in this manner I will not attain this.
I heard a broadcasting programme about parapsychology. The people in this programme used very difficult words which I couldn't understand. They acted exaggerated without showing any feeling.
A girl asked me why I didn't dance. I told her I was ashamed to dance. I felt myself ashamed having to tell her this.
I saved up money for a good purpose. As I also have to organise a party I am afraid there will rest only a little money for the good purpose I feel guilty about this.
During a football game I made an offence towards an acquaintance. Later on this acquaintance also tackeled me and the game became very rude.
I work at a petrol station. When there is a foreigner who wants petrol my collegues treat him very impolite.
An uncle of mine who just retired, having worked hard all his life, got a cerebral hemorrhage.
A student who lives in the same house where I live is an alcoholic. He tries to manipulate other people with his money when he has drunk too much.
When I went to a disco with a friend I started behaving badly embarrassing him without reason.
When I talked to another student about the notes she got last semester, not knowing that she got a lot of bad grades.
When I stayed alone in a house in Great Brittain and there was a lot of rumour in the newspaper about a murderer still being free.
The stories about the way my grandmother treated my mother.
When my mother was proved to suffer from a very serious disease.
The stories about my aunt who was beaten and humiliated by my uncle.
I omitted to do a favor to a friend, while he was very much in need for help.
When I had a little accident with my boss'car.
The only event I can remember is having a nightmare when I was very young (3 years old) I dreamt about a machine which was going to crush me.
I am usually angry at myself. This happens often. For instace when I want to pet without falling in love and it soon proves that I have fallen in love with him.
Losing a boyfriend for the second time to my friend. He fell in love with her. The same thing happened a few months earlier with another boyfriend.
There is a person whom I disgust. Evrey time I see her I get this terrible feeling I disgust her whole appearance.
When I am angry at someone without a good reason. Later on it proves that he didn't do anything wrong.
My mother always evokes feelings of guilt in me. For instance when I miss the last bus I know she will be concerned for me and stay awake till I arrive.
DO NOT REMEMBER.
After a hard day at the university I also had to make dinner that evening. It failed because of a frying pan which broke.
When my father had a cerebral hemorrhage.
A story I heard recently about a baby dying after sexual abuse.
During a party I overheard a conversation about china. When I wanted to give my opinion one of the people came out to be Chinese and his opinion was right of course.
When I didn't bring my girlfriend home one night. Later she told me that a cardriver solicited her.
Standing in a crowed shop or in a closed room with too much people in it. This gives me a fearful experience.
My older brother who gives me unwanted advices about problems in my relationship with my girlfriend.
My girlfriend left the house in which we lived together a few months ago. This made me very sad.
When my parents behave very "witty" towards me, they make insipid jokes about which they laugh. Or my mother who treats me like a little child.
Making an unexpected talk with a professor in the canteen. This made me shy.
Flirting with other girls while I already had a very good relationship. When there are problems in my relationship, the flirting increases as does the feeling of guilt.
I lived alone in a repulsive area in the city of Rotterdam. I was annoyed, heard a lot of Burglary and assaults. Especially in the evening and the night I frequently felt anxious.
Being treated unfairly and being hurt by someone I love.
When I finished a relation after four years, leading to much sorrow for the other one and myself ("although it was the best solution").
Every time I meet a certain person. We cannot get on well together, we dislike each other.
When coming up for trial because of shop lifting.
Being catched when stealing.
One night I had to bike home all alone after a party. Then I found out that I was pursued by a man in a car.
I had a quarrel with my father, because I was of the opinion that he decided in an authoritarian way which TV program we should watch. I became very angry and started throwing things through the room.
My boyfriend finished our relationship when I started studying psychology in Nijegen, because then we would not be able to meet frequently anymore.
A friend had a quarrel with the mother of her boyfriend because she and her friend decided to go and live together. She needed money for removal, then she made a great effort to reconcile.
I was catched when, as a little girl, I played tricks. I was very startled then and wet my pants.
I was of the opinion that 12.00 pm was too early to be back at home after going out, so I stayed away longer, knowing that my mother would be worried.
Once late at night (around midnight) a person asked me to give him a lift. He suddenly tried to attack me but I could escape. After this he followed me for a little while.
There was a lot of irritation between me and a person who lives in the same house where I live. Suddenly it became too much for me and I accused him of several things.
The end of a relationship (after 4 years) by doing this I hurt the other person very much.
I saw a terrible accident in which the driver of a motor was thrown through the frontwindow of a car. His face was completely away.
I am troubled by hair growing in my neck. I was troubled by this for a long time and was much ashamed when someone brought his/her hands close to my face.
Against the will and without the approval of my parents I went for a few days to my boyfriend in Germany.
When I thought the house was on fire at night.
When I was at an official meeting I asked a question to a person. His response was not directed at me but at the chairman.
When the mother of a good friend of mine died.
A teacher was very blunt in his relation to a child so that the child was very upset when arriving at home.
I was very angry at someone.
That I didn't take the time to make an appointment with someone.
When a good friend of mine behaved in a very cool manner to me for a very long time.
I was in the library of medical psychology and walked into the wrong direction. A man who came out of a room threated me very denigrating and I became very angry in a resisting manner.
A good friend of mine died. During the funeral I felt an intense feeling of sadness.
When an uncle of mine who is very ill started to cough wich sounded very dirty. (He can't help it of course).
At Christmas night there was a good movie on television which I wanted to see for years. I was whining about it till someone told me it was very childish. Then I felt shame.
A good friend of mine who is at the moment in a foreign country. I didn't write her for several months and now I feel guilty.
When going out I am threatened regularly by two punk-girls.
A friend started to shout at me. He called me an old frump.
My relationship with a boyfriend was finished and I didn't succeed a years-course.
My father is someone I disgust. So when he comes close to me a feeling of disgust overwhelms me. When I stay a week-end at my parent's place I will remember it for long time.
After a party in which I made love with a boy in public. Later on I heard that others were talking about me and called me a slut.
When I got associated with a boy one year ago, I neglected my best friend. When the relation with this boy finished she behaved very easy-going towards me. I felt guilty then.
A terrible cloud-burst started when we were camping in a tent on a great bald field.
Seeing for the first time pictures about the so called "treatment" of Jewish people in Nazi-Germany during World War II.
The death of my mother-in-law after a long sick-bed. at the moment of dying I was with her.
I was looking at a one-man show on television. He told very disgusting things so that I started to be disgusted with it. (Later on it proved that this was his intention).
I was drinking a glass of wine and eating something when there suddenly appeared pictures about the famine in some parts of Africa.
When I don't go to my parents on Sunday and phone them to tell them that I have to study. The truth is that I listened to sports on the radio.
The same situation as with sadness. I was afraid about what my parents would further do to distroy my relationship.
Once again my parents distroyed a relationship.
I had this feeling when my parents distroyed a relationship with a boy because they thought he was bad and irresponsible.
After the accident which I described in SHAME. I came to myself and saw how terrible everything looked like. I disgusted myself and everything I saw.
A sudden end to the relationship with my first girlfriend.
I heard part of a conversation in which one talked very low about women.
In an important situation for me, my father behaved inadequately.
When I took the car of someone without saying it to him.
When a good friend of me told me one evening that she didn't want to live anymore.
I felt anger when at the end of a telephone call, a good friend told me that she would go to travel next year with another good friend. We couldn't talk this out.
I was very sad when I had to leave persons with whom I had a very intense relationship I also had to leave the environment which was part of this.
I felt disgust after watching a picture on television about torturing political prisoners in India (this happened in the India of Indira Ghandi).
I made a very insulting remark against a person whom I care for very much. This event was caused by a third person who didn't like the person I insulted.
I felt guilt towards my mother when I went to live on rooms in Nijmegen where I study.
When I walk through streets late at night. This is because I and my friends were attacked one night without any reason for it.
When I got the feeling that I had to do all the housekeeping while my boyfriend didn't do anything. This happened in a period of exams when I had to study very hard.
When my best friend got a boyfriend. Because of this a relationship of ten years was finished abruptely.
I feel disgust when hearing or seeing other people being treated inhumanely. For example torturing in chili.
In my opinion guilt is a feeling which goes together with shame. Here then I refer to the situation of guilt.
When I became angry at my boyfriend without any reason. I know he cannot bear me being angry at him and that he can't study anymore then.
I was living in rooms in a very lonely, quiet neigbourhood. During the night it was very silent and this frightened me. The fact of being alone in that house frightened me.
We had to move to a very different city because the company where my father worked also moved to that place. It was very difficult for me to make new friends than.
A very close friend of mine died. I read it in the newspaper. I didn't know what to do and thought about it the whole day.
A girl who also hires a room in the house where I live always tries to make a quarrel with everyone available she disgusts me.
A teacher spent a lot of time helping me without wanting to be paid for it. For the exam I didn't got a good grade and I felt ashamed.
I knew I had to take an exam very soon but yet I couldn't start studying. I also knew it was very imprtant to succeed the exam this time.
I was raped once when I went through a dark alley at the back of our house. The man pushed me in the bushes. I fought back and succeeded to escape.
I was very angry at my father when he didn't give me as much money as my brother to use for studying. Once again my brother was better off then me.
When my gradmother died.  I felt very sad then ... The feeling started to be worse after a while.
When I ate a rotten apple.
When I didn't meet an appointment I had made. The person phoned me but I thought of something (I told I was ill) so that I didn't have to go.
When I have to take exams I am very excited and have not much time for the housekeeping. Then my friend has to do everything.
When I slept for the first time all alone in the house where I live now. A man phoned me at 2.00 am. He wanted something from me. I was afraid.
My boyfriend told me that I had very high demands towards him. In my opinion this was wrong.
I hadn't been at my parent's place for a long time. When I went to visit them I had high expectations, but when I was there it was very different from what I expected.
I read a story in the newspaper about butchers treating their animals very badly. They disgusted me.
I was eating in a very nice restaurant, when the servant asked whether I liked the food I told him that I liked it but that there was one thing which wasn't so good. The servant than worked very hard to make it good.
A few weeks ago I thought about an exam I had to take soon. I remembered this just before I had to go to sleep. I felt guilt because at the beginning of the year I planned to succeed.
When a car ran into me. The moment that I felt on the street I thought "This is my end, I am going to die".
When our cat was killed in a car-accident I was very angry at the driver of the car because he didn't take enough care.
There is a boy who I love very much. I asked him to have dinner with me, but he refused I don't know why he didn't go with me, but I felt very lonely.
I saw a dog who was eating excrements.
During my Highschool time I was chairman of the student's comitee. In this function I once had to make a speech to a large audience and I was very nervous. After three sentences I forgot my text.
During a holiday in East-Germany I got aquainted with a boy who lived there. We started writing, but I only wrote once. I felt ashamed because I probably was one of his sparse contacts with western Europe.
When I slipped on a glazed frost road and a car almost ran into me.
When people without my permission pry in my belongings and take things out of it.
When I noticed that my parents were not in such a prosperity as most people in my surroundings.
Seeing a pornographic movie in which animals were used.
When I went for the first time in my life to a nudist-beach.
I was caught sneaking sweets.
I had an appointment with a good friend. He came 3 hours later than we agreed upon. During the last hour of waiting I was afraid something might had happened, because usally he is in time.
I worked together with another student on a computer-assignment. She didn't do her best and didn't prepare herself for it. She expected me to explain it to her.
I had a quarrel with a good friend about the fact that I didn't pay her a visit when she expected me to come. Hereafter I was very sad because it became a real quarrel.
I was hitch-hiking when a man stopped and gave me a lift to Nijmegen. During the ride he asked me whether I was in for fun. The man was fat and tatooed.
I forgot something I agreed upon with a good friend.
I became very angry with my friend because he didn't do shopping, while we agreed on him doing this. My being angry was proved to be without reason and I felt guilty about it.
When I was 12 years old I frequently was pursued by others and got sound thrashes.
My girlfriend one day went out and promised to be back at 6.00 pm however she first arrived at 10.00 pm, without a message (we had to go out that evening).
When my girlfriend decided to finish our relation.
When once again I drank too much and felt very rotten the morning after.
When I overslept for the second time on the day I had an examination.
When having a relationship, I made love with another girl.
When biking and I felt very bad (problems with heart and respiration).
When a discussion resulted in an insult, which in my opinion, was not justified.
When I realized that it did not make much sense to start a relationship with a girl who was not very constructive to establish a firm relationship.
When I had to finish those big amounts of homework in time.
When I gave water to the plants of a friend. Then one plant fell over, and a little statue broke. I, of course, had to tell him everything.
When I had broken a piece of glass of the refrigerator by putting a hot pan in it.
I went to the apartment of my boyfriend and saw some people before his door. I thought that something had happened.
My father called me (behind my mother's back) and told me that my mother disapproved my behavior in the weekend. However, he didn't tell me the details and left me with unanswered questions.
I felt very lonely, was very dissatisfied with myself when I realised that I could feel very jealous of other women because of my boyfriend.
A scene in a film in which one man repressed another one. By concidence, their position was reversed. The other man was repressed in an identical way as he did before.
When I do not succeed in making myself clear to other people. When they do not understand what I say.
After the death of a girl who I disliked.
I was very startled when, at night at 2.00 am, a boy approached me and yelled "I fuck you", then however he stopped and laughed at me.
When someone does not listen to me after having asked me to repeat what I said. This happened more than one time with the same person.
I felt very sad when I heard that a friend had committed suicide.
One night I saw a man being knocked down by two other men. The victim was kicked against his head.
When I made acquaintance with the parents of my boyfriend for the first time. They spoke Limburgian (a dutch dialect) and one of my first remarks was that I disliked Limburgian dialect.
When I cancelled an appointment with an idle story. Afterwards it appeared that the person had looked forward to it and reserved time for it.
I was testing my new roller skates in the street, suddenly a dog ran barking in my direction, very threatening. I was very startled and terribly upset.
Out on a weekend with a group of people, everybody felt irritated because at night the music didn't stop in time. And at breakfast my boyfriend ran away because we didn't agree with him. I felt angry.
Recently I felt very sad without any reason. It lasted for a few days. There was nothing I liked in that period.
Someone told me a story of Amnesty International: a boy was killed and his head was put in the litter of his girlfriend. It looked as if she was pregnant, then she died. It is disgusting, I can hardly write it down.
I cried for 3 hours because I felt very miserable. Then I called my boyfriend and he said lovely things to me. After this feeling disappeared I felt ashamed.
Yesterday my boyfriend and I wanted to play billiards. However there were boys playing (5 times). My boyfriend then is fed up and chagrined. In such case I think it is my fault.
The weather is very bad (fog and slipperiness) the newcast reports many traffic accidents and my boyfriend is driving home and still has 60 kilometers to go.
Someone told me that he would stay at my home for one night. Therefore I made big efforts to make everything ok (food). One day before he cancelled the appointment because he had to go to church with his parents.
We had to take our cat to the vet for mercy killing (an injection).
When people are eating unsavoury (smacking, belching, speaking with food in their mouth, etc.).
A girl in our class was nicknamed "fatsy". Later, I heard that she suffered from diabetes mellitus.
I made an appointment to pick up someone. However I arrived too late and she had to wait a quarter of an hour.
In the morning just before going to the dentist.
When a very close friend with whom I have a very intimate and bodily relationship (he had a girlfriend) started to avoid me and didn't want to talk to me any more.
When a good friend with whom I had an intimate relationship made clear that he didn't want to continue in the same way. He choose his girlfriend (also a friend of mine).
When I made love with someone who I didn't really love. Sometimes I even considered him unlikable.
I had a short lasting sexual relationship with someone I didn't love.
When I realized that I avoided two good friends with whom I always shared toys and sorrows. I made up idle stories to avoid telling them what happened to me.
When going out in the weekend I have to bike 5 kilometers through lonely and dark polders, then I always have terrifying fantasies.
I made an appointment with a friend to drink coffee togehter. However, for the third time in that week she arrived an hour too late.
My dear hamster (called Hannes) died at the age of 2 and 1/2 years. His shape forced me to mercy killing (an injection).
I read a newspaper report that a little boy was forced to look while his sister was raped.
We had made an appointment to complete together a piece of work. It appeared that I was the only one who hadn't prepared anything.
I call my mother at least once a week. However last week I completely forgot. This morning she called me, she thought I felt ill.
I had to call someone and make an appointment for a conversation. I was very afraid to fail.
When, after having cleaned up the kitchen, two hours later I saw that there was a big mess. It irritated me very much.
One night I was called and told that the father of a close friend died. When I visited my friend at home and when attending the funeral I felt very sad.
I cannot remember exactly such a situation. But I know that once I went to a very dirty lavatory and that disgusted me.
Once by coincidence I clutched a stranger (in a rather intimate way), thinking it was my boyfriend. When by hindsight I feel ashamed when thinking about it.
I once torn the inner tube of a bike, that was not mine. Then I saw it was a brand new one. I felt very guilty then.
When my mother threatened me with thrushing me of the stairs, when I once more should make a comment.
When being made look a fool by the teacher in front of the class during a turn.
My mother unjustly became very angry with me and sent me to my room while my father explained that the way she saw things was not correct. I had done things with the best intentions.
My mother was very angry with my little sister and told her to put her hands on the table in order to beat her hands up. She forced by means of her power.
A friend came for dinner with me at home. His parents are ordinary people. My mother, however, used the very expensive porcelain dinner-service and the silver cutlery. I felt very ashamed.
Once after falling in love, I imagined that particular girl to be perfect and completely overshadowing my girlfriend. Afterwards I realized that this image was not objective. I felt guilty against both girls.
My friend and I planned to search for old documents and utensils in the cellar. It was very late at night when we arrived in the cellar. He indicated the place where the police (40 years ago) found two dead bodies. I got very scared when he told me this story.
When I went up the stairs in a high, dark house full of shadows, passed a door and had the feeling that someone or something was behind me, although I knew I was alone.
A friend told me it would be better for me not to be on familiar terms with another friend, although, in my opinion he had no reason to say such things. He only said so hoping that I would search support from him (that, however, was not necessary).
I had a good relationship with two friends. Once without reason, they clearly showed that they thought I was naive, dull and unable to take care for myself, while I expostulated that I could manage things.
When I see that some people remain cold and egoistic with regard to close friends, even in situations that those friends need them.
When I state things with great positiveness and try to convince others, and it appears that my statement is not right.
A certain friend evokes positive feelings, when I am with him but negative feelings when he is not present. I feel the need to express those negative feelings. However, when I speak about him, I always think: Why do I like this, he does not deserve this, but still I do so.
My grandmother several times has been struck by cerebral hemorrhages. Until now she recovered well each time, but there is always the threat to loose her.
I had made an appointment with three friends. We had to go out together. When I arrived at the place, the other persons weren't there. I became very angry because I thought they were gone without me. That, however, didn't appear to be the case.
I finished the relationship with my boyfriend, after having felt myself very unhappy for a long time.
A few days after I had finished the relationship with my boyfriend, we had a quarrel. Then he hit me. At that moment I found him disgusting.
I was taking a shower in a cubicle in France. Then I discovered that a few children were loking at me from the adjacent cubicle.
I know that a certain person feels very lonely, and that she always looks forward to seeing me. However, often I am too busy to visit her, then I feel guilty.
When I get into the tube or the train without paying for the ticket.
A class-mate urged me to carry out a particular protest along with him, and when the time came this fellow drew back while I had to face the situation.
When I failed the entrance exam to IMEC.
When I saw someone eating live worms.
When I was a child my parents caught me with a pornographic magazine.
[ I can not remember anything in particular.  What I can remember is feelings of having done or said something which then had negative consequences.]
When I wore a grotesque figure hanging down my back.
Because I had not studied.
When I was a child I hid under the sheets out of fear of darkness.
When I first saw a person begging.
When my basket ball team lost the qualification at a final.
When I see rotten meat.
When a person whom I do not want to see is continously present.
When I failed an exam I thought I could pass easily.
When I was very young, one day, I was in the street with my father and brother.   While my father was talking to some friends, I saw a dog and began to pat it.  My father told me sharply to stop doing it because the dog had mange.  Then my brother told me that I would die and I could not stop crying after this.
We hitch hiked our way back from a town rather drunk.  We were dropped in another town which was unknown to us.  I needed to urinate, so I did it on a wall which turned out to belong to the military headquarters.  They arrested me and made me pay a fine of 500 pts.  We had to go home on foot (6 km) since it was too late for anyone to give us a lift.
I was to meet a girl in a discotheque.  She was very pretty and I was very happy.  But she did not turn up.  Thank God, there were some other friends there and I was able to have a more or less good time.
I had a class-mate who was rather stupid.  I did not like him but I respected him.  When he tried to talk to someone, they would not listen to him and I could not bear seeing this.
I met a friend in a discotheque. he was with a girl and he told me that she was not his girlfriend.  I, to say something, commented that she must be a viscious woman.  He then told me that she was his girl.
I went to a pub with a group of friends (not very close) and I was with one girl most of the time, while the other girls in the group wanted to be with me.  They stopped talking to the girl I was with.
Before an exam which I, finally did not take.
At home when they lost three pieces of my puzzle.
When I had an argument with a friend.
When I am dirty because I have not had a shower for a few days.
Once I did not have enough money to pay for a coffee.
After an argument with a friend of mine.
Before taking an exam.
My family told me to leave if I was not willing to accept the conditions they imposed on me.
A friend of mine called me when I was not at home.  I phoned her back to know what she wanted and she told me that she had dialled the wrong number.
I had to change a baby's clothes for the first time.
I fell outside the door of my house.
My younger sister was almost run over by a lorry.
When I almost fell down from some rocks because I had been acting foolishly and playing dangerously.
Once I saw some children hunting a cat to death.
The death of a friend.
When I saw a scene on T.V where a castration was shown.
Once I answered my father rudely.
When my brother ran away from home and I thought it was because of my continously scolding him.
When I was ten I got shut in the school with a friend.  I had to jump out of a window and cross a beam 10 metres high.
When I was told that a boy did not want to be my friend without any apparent reason.
When I learnt that a boy I liked had been with a girl for three years.
When a very dirty class-mate farted in my  presence.  There was a terrible smell.
When I realized that I had a hole in my trousers after having gone for a walk.
When I had an argument with my grandfather the day my younger brother was born.
While I was waiting for them to give me the marks of the most difficult subject this year.
I had an argument with my mother because I criticized the rules she imposes at home, which are too rigid and arbitrary for me.
When I learned that a friend of mine had not been speaking to her boyfriend for a week after an argument because of unfounded jealousy.
On seeing a scene of an accident in a magazine.
A few days back I had to ask a professor a ridiculous question because I had lost at a game of cards and had to pay a forfeit.
When I shouted at my mother when she was nervous and depressed.
When I saw a TV program on the North American military plan called "The startwar".
I felt angry when I saw on T.V the last slaughter of negroes in South Africa.
When I saw the pictures of the draught in Etiopia.
Whenever I see an alcoholic.
On New Year's Eve, when I went to the house of my girlfriend's parents to meet them.
When I failed an exam for which I knew that I had not studied hard enough.
The last time I was face to face with with the monstrous dog which lives in my street.
During a trivial (friendly) discussion, one of the participants made an intervention which made me feel uncomfortable.
When I heard the last regulation of the socialist govrenment concerning pensions.
When I got to know the details if the famine in East Africa.
The last time I had to phone the Registry, after having called them so many times in the last few days.
During an argument with my brother, I behaved rather intransigently, even cruelly, wishing to morally hurt the "person" opposed to me.
In a rather important exam, when they caught me red handed copying.
When my father addressed me directly and maliciously, thus including me in the "family war".
When my parents got divorced.
When I was a child, one day while playing, I fell up to my waist in mud.
When I was dismissed from a job after having been accused of theft.
When I was with a girl who seemed to love me, while I was with her just to go to bed with her.
When I go out alone at night.
A murder.
When I failed two subjects last year.
When I see people who have no sentiments.
I think that I am rather shy and do not mix with people as I would have liked to, out of shyness.
When I triffled with other people.
Every time I went home with my school report.
During an argument between friends, one of them accused me of taking advantage of some other friends who usually come to the university in my car, saying that I ask them too much money for the petrol.
When I learned that two of my friends had had a serious car accident.
A young man was insulting and humiliating a drunken man.
My aunt phoned me to ask me why I had refused the her invitation to dinner at her home on the New Year's Eve.
I was with a girl one night and then did not call her again, although she had asked me to do so.
On a trip to Santander we wanted to stop at a curve because a friend was sick, and the car skidded of the gravel.
My cousins were playing at home and one of them broke a decorative object which was very precious to me.
All my friends arranged to go for an afternoon snack and they did not tell me.  They told me that they did not have my phone number but I do not think that this was true.
When I saw a film where a black was rapeing a girl while another one was filming it for a pornographic movie.
I was swimming in the sea and a wave took the top part of my bikini away.
I was looking after a child and she fell down because I was not paying her much attention.  One side of her face got bruised.
Fights that I see in the middle of the street, robberies, fear of darkness when going home.
During a family discussion on my future and my prospects as a student, they accused me of not bothering about looking for a job to assume my financial situation.
[ Depressions.]
Some people whom I do not like at all, and one of the reasons is their physical appearance.
For example, to feel bad because of one's attire, to be among people who do not belong to the same social class, to give a wrong answer in class, to be surprised in particular situations.
Some of my friends had an argument.  I had earlier phoned one of them and that may have influenced him to argue.
There was an earthquake for several minutes and I was on the eight floor.
An argument among several friends because of the irrational behavior of one of them who fell out with us for no reason and said that we were to blame.
A class-mate died after being two months in coma, after a car accident.
Pictures of Nazi extermination camps on a T.V program.
Equivocal situation when filling a security questionnaire on entering a government building with several people there.
I left a boy with whom I was going around without giving him any explanations.
When they tried to rob me.
When I failed an exam unfairly.
When my grandmother died.
When I see dead dogs on the road.
When I went to see the doctor and had to take my clothes off so that he could examine me.
When my parents quarelled over something I had done and which was wrong.
When I was attending an authorized demonstrationand the police rushed brutally at the demonstrators, without any warning.
When a professor of this faculty laughed at, and was suspicious of a composition written by a class-mate and me.
The death of a relative, friend, or someone I esteem.
When I saw a very disagreable scene.
When I had to represent my boss at a meeting.
When I inadvertantly made some close friends and relatives feel bad.
When they threatened me with a knife to take my money.
When I failed an exam I thought I would pass.
When my dog died.
When I saw an accident where the man lost his head.
When I tripped while getting on a bus.
When I hurt a person's feelings.
When two drug addicts tried to take away my money.
When I saw my brother being attacked and I could not do anything.
When a class-mate died.
When a person saw that I was accused of something I had not done and did not do anything to defend me.
When inadvertantly I found myself in the ladies room.
When I broke something and a friend of mine was blamed.
When I had to walk over three kms through a field which had wild bulls, because my car had broken down.
When I saw a man hitting a child of 2 years without any consideration, simply because the child had been leaning against a window.
A friend of mine who was driving a car ahead of me died in a car accident.
When I had to dissect a live mouse at school.
When I was a child I had to recite a poem in a show at the end of the term.
When I saw a program on Ethiopia on T.V, a fews hours earlier I had thrown away some clothes and food.
We were in the country and I walked away from the others one night.  Suddenly something moved sharply in front of me and I was not able to see what it was.
When I was young, I became very angry as I was not allowed to stay up all night for the fair in my town.
When summer is over and I have to leave the town where I spend my holidays.
When I saw several people washing their car with water from a drain.
When I inadvertantly entered the ladies room and met some girls on my way out.
I was entrusted with an object and while using it I handled it carelessly and it broke.
One night, walking along a park, I began to think that some roughnecks would appear suddenly with knives and things like that.
I had an exam and I had it well prepared.  I did the first part very well but did not know the second part.
When my parents did not let me go on a study tour.
One day I was going through the street door of my house, when a man asked me for a doctor.  He then showed me his genitals and asked me to cure him myself.
Each time the professor asks me a question in class.
I had an argument with my boyfriend.  It was my fault but my pride would not let me admit it.
A film on zombies.
When males in my family try to assign house duties exclusively with referance to sex.
I had a quarrell with my boyfriend and decided to finish with him and and my Easter holidays.
When after a storm in the country, I left my shelter and saw a big, fat, slimy green toad by my side.
When a friend from whom I preferred to hide my private life discovered that I had relations with a man.
When my brother had to spend all evening repairing a gear-lever that I had broken.
When I was walking down the street, some boys showed me a knife and stole all my money.
When they threw my holder down on the floor, with all my notes for an exam inside it and they got all mixed up.
When my mother was operated.
When I see pornographic films.
One day I got on the bus without any money or season ticket and the driver threw me out.
When a friend of mine was beaten for what was my fault.
I was walking along a subway when I saw a group of louts.  I was rather afraid because I was alone.
An old woman was violently thrown down the stairs of the tube by a group of louts.
A child, 9 years old, died in a stupid way.  He fell from a place which was 1 metre high.
On the road there was a dead animal with its entrails showing and its skull crushed.
We were discussing a subject ( I knew very little about it) and I was holding my ground.  They showed me that I was wrong.
I could have passed the last exam of the public competition, but I failed as I had not studied.
Before knowing my marks I was not sure that I wanted to go to that class.
I learned that a class-mate had given a list, of peolpe who help each other in exams, to the professor.
I phoned two friends and was not able to arrange a meeting with either of them, so I had to change my plans.
I was in the cafeteria at the university and a class-mate told me that a friend of hers had had all her teeth taken out because of an infection caused by her eating a rat's nail in her hamburger.
I had to meet a girlfriend to go out for a drink and she arrived with her aunt, to whom I was introduced.  Then the aunt left.
One night, after having decided to finish our relationship, I took my girlfriend home.  While driving back home, I felt that I had not handled the whole thing very well.
When I am alone at night after having read horror stories, and then I heard unexplainable noises.
A typical family argument.
The disqualification of two of my mates in the military service.
The sight of vomit on the street.
When criticizing something about a person and then realizing that the person whom one is talking to is similar.
Not to have studied enough when exams were near.
Continous fear of a nuclear war.
When you kill yourself with work and see the number of slakers wandering around, doing nothing.
When someone in my family died.
To loose friends because of them over-estimating themselves.
When people next to me play the fool.
To force someone to do something that suits me.
I was in Sierra Nevada, climbing a peak over 3,000 metres high, without any light and with many other problems.  I was afraid for my life.
I was living in a flat where things did not go very well for me.  Finally, they threw me out and this prejudiced people I esteem a lot.
When I read the diary of the girl with whom I was living, it was about another boy with whom she had been going around some time back.
The man who threw me out of the flat disgusted me.
The first time that I caressed a girl, I was about thirteen and she was eighteen.  I noticed that it did not affect her at all.
I was going around with a girl without loving her.  Not only did I go around with her, but we did many more things.  In the end I was not very sincere to her.
I was walking in the countryside alone when I came across two dogs who began barking at me.  I did not know whether they were tied up or loose, but I was afraid of them approaching me.
I was angry when my sister began to talk nonsense and to laugh at the way I swept the room.  My anger grew (I tried to control myself).  After telling her to leave me alone, I vented my anger on her as she did not obey me.
My mother was working with a knife and we were all laughing heartily.  She was not able to control the knife and stuck it deep into her hand.
I read a book whose plot and expressions were obscene and in very bad taste.
My mother had just been teaching me how to crochet, which is thought highly improper for a boy in a town.  Just when we finished, a neighbour walked in.
It was about midnight and I wanted to go to the countryside (I was in town) to watch the stars in the sky.  My mother did not like this, in spite of it I went out for a while.  My mother got angry.
One day I went to the cinema to see a film in which I was interested.  On arriving there I saw a long queue (which I had not expected) and went back home without seeing the film.
When I miss the train and I am late, and I have to wait half an hour for the next one.
When I knew I had to go out with my mother on some errands.
I saw in an ice-cream kiosque a cockroach walking through a cornet.
One day in class, the professor asked me a question concerning something he had been explaining.  He was very close to me (beside me) and I had no idea what to answer.
Once I had some homework to do and I did not do it.
When I was operated on the knee and had to go through rehabilitation.
In a very important basket-ball match where a lot was at stake, I played very badly.
When a friend of mine told me that he was going to commit suicide.
A TV program on whale-hunting.
Once when I said bad things concerning a friend.
Family discord and uneasiness due to something I did not communicate on time.
When my mother was robbed in a shop.
I was given an exam which I thought did not measure at all my ability or my knowledge of the subject.
When I saw the film "Johnny got his gun" which deals with the consequences of the Vietnam war.
Some friends and I were having lunch.  Someone said something funny and one of the guys started laughing and spat his food in a girl's face.
I was alone in the bus when I tripped and fell, and dropped all my papers.
As I was not paying attention, my little brother fell off the table.
One night, while I was sleeping, I woke up suddenly with the sensation that there was someone in my room.
When my brother was held up and robbed.
When they told me that my grandfather was rather ill.
When I see someone vomitting.
When I fell head on in a fountain.
I had to undergo an operation in Summer and so my family had to stay at home during the holidays.  I felt guilty, above all because of my brothers.
I had decided to propose to the man I liked to make a trip together.  One day, during breakfast I told him my idea.  I was afraid of his not accepting it and that the idea would end up as a failure.
A person I trusted a lot gave me many false explanations to justify a wrong action.
I was having breakfast with a classmate and suddenly I began to cry as I thought of a friend of mine whom I had not seen for a long time.
During lunch with some classmates, a priest was also there.  He was eating desperately as if someone was going to take his plate away.  He did it with gluttony.  He wiped his hands on his suit several times and it was full of crumbs.
When a professor caught me absent-minded and not paying attention to what he was saying.
One day, I was alone on duty when a patient choked while eating.  I ran to her and tried to make her breath, but it was too late.
Once I failed seven subjects at school and I was terrified to give my report card to my father.  I left it on the table and went to bed very early in order to avoid him seeing me.
When, after drinking a glass of water, I found a cockroach walking out of the glass.
I have a very close friend who lives in another city and we have been writing to each other for a long time.  The last time I went to her city, just to see her, I was disappointed to see how great the distance between us was.
They asked me to throw the rubbish into a dustbin which had some awful liquid accumulated at the bottom.
The girl with whom I was going around had been forbidden to be alone with me in the house.  We paid no attention to this prohibition but one day her parents appeared and I jumped out of the window.  They saw me.
I was driving a friend's car, and I got close to the pavement to ask my way and I struck a parked car.
I stayed alone in the dark at night in the mountain, waiting for my uncle.  I remember that I took a big stone and it calmed me.
We were at school, in the room for audiovisual classes.  We were watching a film, and just behind me two classmates were bothering me with their mocking and shoves.  I reacted angrily (I suppose)  by hitting one of them.
[ During a summer holiday a French girl and I had becoe back home, I felt very sad.]
Once I had to clean a lavatory which was obstructed.  It was in a friend's country house and there was nobody there to help me.
In a Mathematics class, the professor asked me a question and I gave the wrong answer.
When I lost my study grant without having attended any exam in the career I had started, and it was too late to cancel my registration.
When my mother had a nervous illness.
During my last exam.
When I had to come back from my village last Christmas.
One day I went to see a rather disagreeable film (X).
Once I had to visit a rather special person.
Once, I accidentally injured a boy in the eye and he almost lost it.
A fall during a climb, with almost with no previous experience.
On the occasion of assignment of tasks and responsibilities in which such an assignment, dispropotionately carried with it high responsibility and low ability of organisation and resolution.
Moving to an unknown place, away from the familiar surroundings and into a situation of loneliness.
When I had to sleep in a bed at a hostel, which was full of dirt.
While shopping, a person close to us created an uncomfortable situation for those who were with her.
Incomprehension and repression towards a child's behaviour, commonly not accepted, and making the child cry.
In a dark street at 4 o'clock in the night and there was complete silence.
When they broke the artistic work of several weeks.  Changes were made and it was broken without permission, they had no right to do this.
When the train taking me to my military service left the station, on the platform remained relatives, projects and goodtimes.  I had a hard year ahead.
A situation of overt unfairness, manipulation of people and its consequences.
A children's film in which I played a clown, with spotlights, cameras and the director who demanded jumps and guffaws.
When a close classmate failed a year.
When I was young I saw a horror film.  Then when I went to sleep, the film came back too my mind and the characters frighteneed my imagination.
In a confrontation with a person, he provoked me several times till I reacted in an angry way.  Fortunately there were no disastrous consequences.
I was watching a sad film and it affected me deeply.
When I was reading a book.  It had nothing to do with the book itself but with the disagreable smell of the pages of the book.
In class I had to say something aloud and people reacted  by laughing.
In an exam I answered the questions rather carelessly and afterwards I thought that the exam would have been better had I answered more carefully.
It was more that fear - anguish -that I felt before my last exam.
When I had an argument with my best friend and I thought that I was right and she was not.
When I realized that it was impossible for me to be as free as I had imagined and that I could not do anythong about it.
The first time I saw a pornographic film, all that in practice is so beautiful but on the screen appered as something mechanical, irrational, disgusting and dehumanizing.
When I stated sharply something I was not very sure of and a few days later I was shown to be wrong.
When I do or say something inappropriate which hurts people close to me.
I was walking down a road and suddenly a few dogs appeared at a fence and started barking angrily.  They were jumping and it seemed that they would come for me any time.
When I knew that they would not give me a transfer from one university to another.  I began to insult the educatioon authorities and the government, I ended up at the door.
We went to visit my mother at the residence.  She was crying and said that she was about to die.  I believed all her complaints and continously thought of the possibility of loosing her.
My dog had been run over and died near the house.  We had to pick him up, cold and glassy eyed, to get rid of the corpse.
A professor was going to read aloud in class a composition of mine in which I had criticized some political attitudes and also some class-mates.   I was ashamed at having written that.
In an exam when I answered the questions with very little assurance due to insufficiet preparation.
I was at the cinema with my sister and her boyfriend.  A man sitting beside me started to stroke my leg for a while, he left in the middle of the film.
My father began to say incoherant things concerning my brother's and my own behaviour towards him.  His biased (authoritarian) and ridiculous point of view made us angry.
I had failed some subjects in mathematics.
I was at the table at a French friend's house.  They served me a big dish with roast cauliflower and sauce.  I had to eat it.
This morning I spent a lot of time on my toilet and missed the train to the university.  My mother told me that I spent more time than a woman on my toilet.  I felt a mixed emotion of shame and anger.
I was alone at home when I broke a figure and then mended it.  A few days later my mother noticed it and asked me about it, I told her that I had no idea.
When I was caught by the police and was kept with a group of delinquents, which added to my fear of being shut up.  I was afraid of the people near me and the future consequences.
When I was the target of a great many insults and completely unfair accusations of a large group of people.
When my best friend died, at the age of 16.
When I entered a brothel and saw two sailors with a young prostitute who was not older than 18.
When I was in a religious school my teacher showed me up in front of all my class-mates.  They were very sarcastic and cruel.
Having suffered a not very pretty sight, I reacted by uttering some very cruel and sharp words.
I had an accident in which I hurt my eye.  I was afraid of having injured it badly.
When I was accused of something I had not done.
A close friend died.
I saw some images of a decapitation in a horror film.
I slipped and fell in to a puddle and people started looking at me.
I made another person cry for an unjustified cause.
I was walking with another person when a "gang" separted us and pushed me in to a house, hit me in the stomach and the face, then they left - leaving me bleeding.
A certain person started to say dreadful things very calmly, I felt hurt and disgusted.
A certain person whom I respect and esteem a lot pays me no attention.  She keeps up appearances but shows almost no interest in me.
In a bus I fell sick and vomitted in a bag.  The entire situation was disgusting in itself.
A person (a male) told me that he liked me.  He has a problem, he is a homosexual.
I rejected a person whom I had always thought to be a friend.  I told him so and he reacted angrily.  I felt guilty at not having realized it before and at having hurt him.
When my relatives and I were in a car going slowly on a frozen road.
My parents were having a typical family argument.  I came in and saw the scene and became angry.
I was going away, leaving a dear person behind.
I visited a place in Morocco where they worked the leather.  I saw the skins emerged in a liquid which ressembled putrification.
At a friend's party there were several allusions to my sexual adventures.
I was in a cafe with another person when, suddenly, several close friends of my partner appeared.  I did not know what to do and my partner felt uncomfortable.
When I am walking on the streets and see a gang of thugs.
When people harrass me I feel oppressed by their behavior.
When I am with a friend and we have to leave each other.
When I saw a film in which the man suffered from an illness and    his skin came peeling off.
When I was in the toilet and someone came in.
[ When I act thinking that I know everything and I then realize that there were things I had not thought about, thus hurting others.]
On a dark night I felt that there were several people near me and I did not know who they were.
When I learned that several people had died in the street due to  the cold weather.
When I saw in the newspapers, on the T.V, and magazines the chaotic situation caused by the drought and hunger in Mauritania.
The physical appearance of a meal.
I was with a group of people and everybody told me to do or say something.  It was a confusing, strong and traumatic situation for me.
In a situation with my girlfriend I took a decision.  Later when I thought about it, I realized that it was an erroneous decision.
During a demonstration I climbed up the closed central door of a bus.  When the bus stopped I had to go back to the same place, afraid that the police would see me.
When I saw parents punishing their little child for something he had not done.  In my opinion, even if he had done it he should not have been punished for it.
A friend of mine was hurt as he thought that our relationship was not the same as before and something had gone wrong.
When I was young, one day in the car we fell sick and ended up vomitting on each other.
The parents of a friend of mine surprised us and another couple sleeping in thier place.
A friend of mine felt bad because of something I had done to something that belonged to him.
Almost always when I go to fetch the results of an exam.
[ No description.]
When I decided not to out any longer with a girl whom I liked quite a lot.  This made me feel low for a some time.
I saw a program on T.V where they had to saw a skull for an        operation.
I was watching T.V with my parents and some pornographic scenes came on, I felt uncomfortable and tried to distract my parents attention by talking to them.
When I used an adjective for a person without knowing what it meant.   When I got to know the meaning, I felt guilty as it was a clear and unfair insult.
When a friend of mine told me a horror story.
I was with my family and we found some abandoned puppies.  I wanted to help them but everyone said no.  We then left.
At my grandfather's death.
Seeing a film in which there were several bloody crimes.
At a concert an old man arrived and began to danse, sing and do silly things.
I had an argument with a friend of mine.  She would not let me speak and then I began to shout at her.  She got angry and left, I did not try to prevent her from leaving.
We were on the road in a car when a lorry bypassed us.  We had to swerve and we almost got run over.
I had applied for a job and they had assured me that the exams would take place a few months later.  A week later I went to obtain some more information and they told me that the exams had already taken place.
I received a letter from some friends, who do not live in Madrid, telling me that they would not come on holiday.  I had arranged everythiing for them.
I found a big, black spider near a bag of food.
I was in a very small class and the professor said something about me that made everyone look at me at the same time.
I had arranged to meet my friends at a certain place, and I was with other people.  My friends did not arrive and the people who were with me began to get tired.  My friends were one hour late.
I thought that I would be scolded for a comment I had made, which I should not have made.
My sister came back home and reproached me for not having tidied up the house, although I had been working all morning and she had done nothing.
At my grandfather's funeral.  I remembered that the thing he liked and respected most was earth, I thought that he had attained what he wanted and was not separated from it any longer.
I had to wash my grandmother because she did not get to the bathroom on time.
In a very crowded shop I was distracted and missed my turn in the queue.  A woman who was behind me began to shout at me asking me either to pay more attention or to leave.
When I was very young, one day, I kicked my grandmother and caused her an injury which took a long time to heal.
I was in my village when a bull jumped over a fence and started chasing my friends and me.  We were very frightened till we climbed up a tree.
When I saw a car run over a child, out of carelessness.
I failed a subject despite the fact that I had studied quite a lot for it.
When I was walking in a field which had a lot of manure.
I liked a boy and I would feel shy and then blush.  The more I wanted to avoid it the more I blushed.
I am not very affectionate and I feel guilty as I do not give as much affection as I receive.
I was walking down a little village at night.  There was nobody in the steet.  A dog began to bark, I felt that it was following me.  Then I began to run, the other dogs started barking too.  At last I arrived home.
My parents did not let me go on holidays with my friends.
I was told that a friend of mine was going to Mexico for good.
Finding a hair in the soup.
I was at the University dining room, alone, and at a table next to mine thre were several professors.  One of them asked me to join them.  I refused but she insisted.  All the others started looking at me and I had to move to their table.
I had promised to say goodbye to a person who was going on a trip, and I did not turn up.
We were camping in the mountains, and a friend and I went for a walk.  It was getting darker and darker and we were not sure of the right way back.
I sent a book to a friend of mine.  The book meant a lot to me and he lost it.
To say goodbye to dear friends after the holidays.
Ever since I have been a child, the sight of any kind of wound.
At the seaside, when a wave suddenly came and took off my bikini.
One night, I went out with some friends for dinner and I did not tell my parents that I would come back late.  I thought of phoning but in the end I did not.  When I arrived home, my parents were very worried.
Waiting for my marks in a difficult subject.
I gave some personal information to a friend of mine, and he told it to some others who were implicated in the affair.
The holidays come to an end, and the next day we had to go back to University and to the exams.
There was a cat on the street.  It had been run over and its head was open.  We passed beside it.
At a meeting with over one hundred people, they decided who had to speak from the stand by drawing lots.
I had a small argument with a relative and some other people got implicated.  It resulted in a proper row.
I was attacked by a man at a bus stop at night.
My mother told me that I could not go to the mountains.  Despite my age, as long as I am in her house I must do what she says.
When my nephew was taken to hospital with meningitis and we did not know what would happen.
I was drinking coffee in a cafe and I found a piece of scrubber in my cup.
When I went to my boyfriend's house for lunch and saw his parents, I felt that they were watching me all the time.
At school, I did not tell the teacher that it was me who had laughed, and she punished the entire class by making them stay behind for one hour.
We were walking in the park at night.  It was very dark and very late.  We began to hear foot steps all around us, and we could not find our way out.
[ One day I arrived home rather tired and found the house..... In addition I was asked many questions which I did not want to answer.]
I was selected to do a rest for a foreign ballet but I did not have the money to do it.
In a film there was a scene in which a rat was sliding on a bed, leaving a trace of blood behind, finally it entered the mouth of one of the actors.
I was swimming in the river and I lost the top of my bikini.  I did not notice it and came out of water.  There was a disagreeable classmate watching the scene.
At a party, several comments were made about the personal situation of one of the people present.  She was rather affected and uncomfortable.
One night, I was alone at home.  My fear was caused by some strange noises which put my imagination to work.
When I got to know about the reaction of a friend of mine in a certain situation.  I had not expected him to react that way.
I felt alone among a large number of people.  I was sad to see that nobody cared about what was happening to me.
I saw a sort of black worm being attacked by many ants.
When I met a friend of mine after several months.
When I noticed the negative changes in a friend's behaviour.
I was watching a procession during the Holy week, and a penitent approached me.
My mother read a letter that a friend of mine had written to me telling me how she had got drunk the last time.
[ No response.]
I found a cockroach crushed between two folders in my bedroom, I called my mother.
I ride my motorbike in my village and everyone stares at me as if I was a rare specimen.
I was spending a few days at my aunt's place.  One night I got home very late, I had told them I was going to a party but I went to another place.  They were very worried.
I was in a camp and went out for a walk at night on my own.  I lost  my way and spent several hours looking for the camp.
My parents scolded me a lot for something I had not done.  It was my sister who had done it.
[ No response.]
At the hypocrisy of some of my friends.
I greeted and embraced the wrong person thinking that it was my friend.
Due to a misunderstanding on my part, two of my best friends quarelled.
When we got lost in Florence and the coach did not turn up until midnight.  I had no place to go to and there were strange reports at the police station.
When an English teacher unfairly made me repeat a semester which I thought I had passed.  I had to ask my parents for some more money to carry on studying.
The person whom I liked most left me for a friend of mine, after several months of mutual help and a profound knowledge of each other.
In a park near our home, a group of young people who were strangely dressed were seated in the middle of the street.  They began to eat while carressing each other.
I feel this emotion very often when I try to express my feelings in public, because other people do not understand my reactions and think that I am silly.
A friend of mine said in a group that she felt lonely and withdrawn from everyone because of mental deficiency.
When I was at home alone, I felt a super-natural force, dangerous for me and the people close to me.
When my father made my mother go through really terrible situations, I felt furious, impotent, nervous, upset, ........
When a person whom I loved and admired a lot died.  I felt empty, lonely, helpless, without support, not knowing what to do.
When I came to know that my father and his parents were : self interested, dirty, negative, egoist, bad peolpe,......
I think that the only time I really felt shame was when I was very young and I had to defecate on the street.  I was very worried in case someone should see me.
When I was young I felt guilty because I thought that I had commited a grave sin.
We were riding in a friend's car.  He was driving very fast and suddenly a another car crossed the road in front of us.  My friend had to turn the car rapidly.
When I found one of my new pullovers wrinkled inside the wardrobe.  My brother had done it.
When I went to see the result of an exam and saw that I had failed.
When I was getting up, I found a live cockroach in my bedroom.
The mother of a friend of mine passed by me and saw me sitting on a boy's lap.  I tried to greet her but could not help blushing.
A friend of mine had the sleeves of a leather coat stolen from his car.  It was me who had left them there for everyone to see.
I went to visit a friend in hospital.  He was going to be operated the next day.  I was afraid that they would not let me in and I did not know what his reaction would be on seeing me.
A friend of mine played a joke on another friend over the telephone.  This friend, crying, called me and I got very angry and made the other person apologize.
A friend of mine told me that my boyfriend had been with another girl this Summer.  We had been going out together for four years and we had not done so for the last three months.  I could not believe it.
I was at a friend's place for lunch and she fell ill and vomited.
I was dancing in a theatre.  I was not sure whether some frieends of mine had come to see me.  I was very scared of doing things wrong.
Classes were over and I wanted to go home.  A friend of mine asked me to wait for half an hour to take him back home.  I said no.
Travelling by coach on a rather narrow and wet road.
They wanted me to pay for a ticket twice because they said that the one I had was out of date.
When I came back from my holidays.
When I saw an insect going up my arm.
When I entered a bar looking for a friend.
Arguing with my younger cousin.  She is rather a nuisance but I felt sorry.
Once, when I was very young, my mother left me alone in the house and came back very late.
When my aunt told me angrily that I was a good-for-nothing and she was fed up with my behaviour.
When my parents and sister went on a trip and I was separated from them for about three months.
When a person I did not know hurt a friend of mine.
When the literature teacher made me recite a poem in the middle of the class and I had to gesticulate.
Once, when I arrived home very late, my parents had an argument because of this; my mother wanted to stand up for me.
I was spending my summer holidays in a village.  My friend and I were coming back from a discotheque at night and we heard a noise from an alley.  We were very scared and we got into my friend's house.  A moment later, an unknown car picked up a person from this alley.
My mother and I had an argument over buying some clothes for me.  She did not accept the fact that I did not like the same things as her, and we ended up shouting at each other.
One day, I was home and there was a phone call informing me that some of my relatives had died in an accident.
When I saw a film in which there was a scene where women were cut to pieces.  Above all, it was the blood and the confusion which impressed me most.
I was walking to school and I passed by a red cross post where there were many soldiers.  They began to pass remarks at me.
A friend of mine trusted me to back her in a decision she had made.  But when the moment came I did not agree with her opinion.
When my brother hit his head and lost consciousness at the sports practice.  For some time he could not remember what had happened but he recovered later.
I get angry with my brothers and sisters when they do something that I do not like.  They know this and still do it so as to tease me.
When my grandfather died.
When opened a box of biscuits and found worms inside.
When I was young I was told to to the shop to buy a dozen eggs.  I went and asked for one egg and the people in the shop laughed at me and so did my family when I told them what had happened.
When I arrived home late at night.  I know that my mother gets worried and this made me feel angry.
When I was told that my daughter, who is at a boarding school, was very ill and that they needed me there the same day.
One day in a clinic, the father of a child came in and assaulted a colleague for something that she had not done deliberately.
When I was told that my uncle had passed away.
The transport to pick us up for lunch was always late and the driver made the same excuse every day.
One day when I came back home, I found my favourite dish broken.  I blamed the servant for it, later I found out that it was not the servant but my daughter who had broken it.
When I did not give back a text book to a friend in time.
When a man who had a knife grabbed me and threatened me with it,   during my holidays in Monze.á
A certain friend tried to push me off a seat in a very violent way for no apparent reason.  It may be that he was excited about something.
When the neighbour of a friend of mine was stabbed to death by thieves in Kabwe.  They stole his van.
When we were young, a friend of mine tried to dissect a frog while  we were playing near his home.
The time I shouted at most of my friends at a party.  It was as if  all my friends had done something wrong, or may be it was the influence of the beer.
When I blamed my niece for misplacing my book, she denied having touched or seen it but I carried on insisting that it was her.
When I was about six years old, I mistook a cat for a leopard      when it entered my room at night.
When a person the same age as me insisted that I call him "Mister".  I refused to succumb, but he persisted and I got angry as he had belittled me.
When I lost my father on the 25th of September,1970.  He died of a sore on the leg.
When I failed the grade 7 twice and only passed it the third time.
I was going around with a foreigner's wife and my entire family got to know about it, this was just when I had become a Christian.
When they found out that I was absent from school, I had gone to the girl's secondary school.
I was almost caught in the girls hostel by the security men, I would have been expelled from school had I been caught.
When I was accused of having refused to do some hostel work while I was at school.  Actually I had not been allocated any work.
A friend of mine could not make it back to Unza after having failed the exams.
I usually come back home early but this day I came home back late to find some visitors at my place.
I got pass marks in the H.S.S compulsory courses while most people performed well.
I destroyed my step-brother's bedsheets by mistake, they were the only ones he had.
When my father's home was to be broken into by thieves who had guns.
When a friend tried to back bite me on false grounds.  This made me wonder if he was a really a good friend.
When my girlfriend's nephew passed away.
When someone whom I trusted, disappointed me terribly.
I was with my colleagues and we met an elderly man who was very drunk, as he approached us he started to undress.
When I lied to my mum, who later came to know that what I had been teling her was false.
When someone tried to bewitch me and my friends at night.
When I was victimized for running away with a girl who was somebody else's wife and niece at the same time.  I was very angry over this issue because I was told to pay him money after having been punished for it.
1976, Soweto uprising in South Africa and the racist Gout's reaction to the students demands concerning the educational system.
When I got  grade "C" in M160 at the end of my first year at UNZA.  I had expected a "C+" or a "B" as M160 is easy, going by my capacity in mathematics.
When I was found urinating, behind a toilet instead of inside it, by my class mates and the teachers.  I was told to pick up my own urine from the wet soil, I did it.
When my uncle found me having sexual intercourse with a distant relative of mine in the sitting room, on the couch.  I failed to stop and get up, I carried on.
When I was walking at night, I saw fire suspended in the air and it was split into several segments by something I could not see.  I suspected that it was witch-craft.
When I was accused by my brother of having stolen a 5 kwatcha note from my mother's bag.  I was beaten up for this, the money was found later.
When I received a message that my brother was seriously ill and was in hospital.
When I was refused a transfer from my school to another, simply because it was far away from my house.
When I was taking an exam in grade 5.  The examinator found me with a note-book and accused me of copying, All the students laughed at me.
When I was caught stealing mangoes in a certain compound.
When I went to town in a double dekker bus.  The bus was about to fall on the way when the driver controlled it.  It had almost fallen.
When I was in form 3, my aunts lied to my daddy telling him that I had told them that I was pregnant.  My daddy  told my mother and she asked me if it was true.  I was very angry with my aunts.
When I received a letter telling me that my mother was very ill.
When a drunkard, in town yelled at me saying that I was a prostitute.
My brother came to see me and found me with a boy friend.  When my boyfriend greeted him, he did not answer and instead started shouting at me and scolding me in the prescence of my boyfriend.
When I went to my room-mate's drawer to see if she had an iron  which I could use, she came in.  I felt guilty as she may have thought that I had been stealing.
When two of my children were critically ill with measles.
When I got a low grade in an administration course.
When I got divorced from my husband after ten years of marriage.
When my mother betrayed me by obtaining money from my husband when we were separated - pending divorce.
When I gave my boyfriend a brush-off.
When I beat up my son for having beaten up his sister.
When I woke up at night to find a fire spreading towards the bed -rooms.  I was very frightened as I realized that I faced death.
When a friend of mine was trying to make a fool out of me.
I experienced this emotion when my friend committed suicide after we had spent the afternoon playing and discussing life and it's problems.
When I heard of the assassination of the Indian prime-minister, Indira Gandhi.
When I got drunk at a party and made a fool of myself by vomitting all over the place and insulting the people who were there with me.
When I was caught sneaking back into the house at night after having  gone to a disco without permission.
When a thief broke into my house at night.
When my sister broke my china tea set.
I felt very sad when my son died after a short illness.
I met my best friend's husband with a prostitute.
When I failed to answer a simple question.
My brother wanted money but I refused to give it to him, two days later he stole it from my father.
When I was nearly beaten up by the brother of my girlfriend.
When I heard that my girlfriend was talking behind my back and looking down on me.
When a friend, who has been with me at school, failed to make it to UNZA.
When my girlfriend told me that she was no longer interested in me.
I choked on a cold drink in front of girls who were strangers.
When I was caught with my girlfriend in the house at night.
When I was told by the doctor, after many months of coughing, that I had tuberculosis.
When a cousin of mine took my bottle of T.B tablets, put water in it and threw it in the dust-bin.
This happened when one of my uncles died just whan I was planning to go and visit him during the next holidays.
When I realized that my closest friend had said bad things about me when I was not around and had betrayed me by making friends with my boyfriend's other girl.
When five of my friends at the secondary school found out the bad things that I had been saying about them.
When my mother returned from a holiday, I told her a lie i.e my father had brought another woman home while she was away.
One evening I saw the old guard-man I knew, change into something inhuman for about 5-10 seconds, this really frightened me.
When I was mistakenly accused of being a thief when I accidently gave a fake coin at a counter.  I realized this before I handed over the coin, but the man called me a thief and called a witness.
The day I woke up to find that a kitten I had wanted to keep had been eaten by the neighbour's dogs.  It had been locked out by my wife who claimed that it had dirtied the sheets.
The day I was forced to use a public convenience place in town.  It was so filthy that it really made me sick.
My mother caught me stealing some food when I was a young boy.
When I gave in to what my wife wanted and locked the cat out, it was killed by the dogs.
When I broke the window pane of my next door neighbour's house.
When my brother did not send me the transport money to resume      my studies in time at UNZA.
When I heard that my nephew had passed away.
When my father thought that I was an unrelaible son.
When I stole a book in class and the teacher caught me, the rest of the class laughed at my attempt.
When I insulted an elderly person for no reason.
I turned the knob of my granny's two band radio and did not hear any broadcast,  " What ! Have I broken the knob ? How much does it cost ? What if the spare part is not available ? "  --I did not know how to tune a radio.
I peeped into Maurine's bedroom and saw two people - Maurine anbd my step-dad.  I thought, " Why did she break her promises ? Why had she invited me ? Why do old men go for young girls ? "
When I missed the chance of becoming a graduate in mining engineering, after having prayed one week in the church I was not even selected.
I stormed into the room, hoping to cool myself with some soft music from my three band radio cassette.  There was only young Kaley there and he explained, " Your aunt has sold it as she wanted to buy clothes."
When a lady I was flirting with told all my class-mates that she was in second year while I was in first year, everyone laughed and started looking at me.
My cousin knocked on the door, looking for me to get her watch back.  I had given it to my girlfriend, Lizzy, as a present.
It was when I dreamt that I had encountered Satan, he wanted to grab me and take me to his kingdom.  He was very repulsive and I have never seen anything like that before.
This was when I found out that a cousin of mine had taken away my trousers without my consent.
When I failed a test at my primary school.  I was then in grade 7 and we were about to take the main exam.
This was when I saw, for the first time, a naked woman (prostitute) run away from a house after having been discovered by the guardian.
This was when I was discovered stealing a piece of bread at home, I was very hungry a few hours before supper.
When I was afraid to tell my sports teacher at secondary school that I had not participated in the sports activities the previous day.
I was escorting a relative on a bike, we passed by a dark road with bushas on each side.  Half way down this road, suddenly, we   saw a white dog appear from one side.  Before we could do anything, it had vanished and moreover it did not seem to have any legs.
The comrade staying next doors insulted me for what he called  the misuse of his iron.  He called me stupid, self centered etc.  I wanted to punch him but instead went for a walk to the mining school to cool off.
A close relative was at odds with a very powerful firm.  All his things had been taken, His dad had died a little before this event.  He gathhered his children and vowed to give them a good life with a new start - the words were hollow, he bit back his tears .....I asked to be excused and then went and cried in the loo.
A pig in the well from which we drink.
My girlfriend had started going around with another boy.  Her cousin, also a friend of mine, asked her as to who she preferred.  Both of us were present and she chose the other guy.
I bumped my dad's car in a lamp post.  He was not at home then, neither was he home when I left for the campus.  I did not tell him about the accident and I will never tell him.
This was at secondary school, a prefect framed up some case and took it to the deputy head-master.  I was called by the head-master and he threatened to suspend me.
When I travelled all the way to my former school to collect my certificate, only to be told that I owed them some money, I knew nothing about this.
My sister was in a hospital, later in the evening we received the information that she had died.
When at school I thought that I was going to get the best results in mathematics, but it was someone else who got the prize.
When I received a letter from my girlfriend telling me that she was engaged to an another man.
I felt guilty when I heard the results of my friend, who had failed.  I wished that I had helped him.
While paddling in the river during a storm.  I feared drowning.
I entrusted a friend with the delivery of some money to my father, however he misused the money.
The loss of my mother.
Over an argument.
At school - being whipped by the teacher in front of the class.
When I had sufficient amount of money, I brought more clothes for myself than for the children - I  felt bad about it.
When I saw a ghost.
My trouser's zipper was open when I was at a public wedding.
When a friend left me and went back home for good.
When I failed an exam.
Insulted my girlfriend during a peptalk.
I caught a close relative with the servant of the house.
The time I was threatened with expulsion from secondary school (form four).
When I discovered that the people I trusted most were talking behind my back.
When I heard about the death of my aunt.
When my brother promised me money but he failed to fulfill the promise.
I was running in front of a crowd when I slipped and fell on a wet lawn.
When I took drugs.
I watched a very terrfying film in LT2.  This film really pushed my heart out of my body and I was forced to go out before the second reel ended.
" I have been hearing rumours that you have not been allowing people in your room," he said.  This sentence really shot my heart.  I failed to find the right words, instead I walked away without uttering a word.
One Saturday morning I had got ready to go out swimming with my friends.  Unfortunately the weather did not permit it, so we stayed indoors.
One day I went to town to get my grocery.  On my way back, I took a mini bus which was full of drunk students.  I felt very disgusted.
I had gone to aa bookshop to buy some books.  Somehow, I got very cross with the security guard checking through what I had bought.  I lost my temper and screamed at him.  Later I felt very ashamed at myself as a lot of people I know were there.
I remember deceiving my brother, I told him that I was going to attend the Sunday service, instead I went out to the town with a friend.
The possibility of having failed the examination.
When someone chased me from his house.
When I realized that I did not have the basic things needed by a student like me.
When some people, including me, are treated in a way which equates them to an animal or a thing.
When someone I know was caught in an "adultery" situation.
When I did something wrong in the past and denied having done it when asked about it later.
The shooting started and we all lay down to protect ourselves from the flying bullets.  This incident occured on our way to Feira, during the Zambia army patrols in the Rhodesia war.
I went to the dining hall and found that the cooks were cleaning the plates and there was no food for me, and the blue birds  (security guards) were busy eating the food that was supposed to be for me.
That afternoon I received two messages informing me, one that my brother was in a coma in the U.T.H suffering (kidney disease) and two, that my uncle met with an accident on his way to the hospital  to see my brother.
This happened when I went to visit my friend in Chelston and found him screwing my girlfriend.
When I walked out of my room with only my pants on and found my girlfriend and her female friend looking for me outside.
My father caught me having sexual intercourse with my closest cousin.  There was nothing wrong with it but the female was too old for me.
One evening, when I had gone fishing with my friends, we heard the roar of a lion near by and had to run for our lives.
When somebody stole my brother's disco machine.
When my uncle died.
A class-mate answered (accidentally) the call of nature in the class during a tough mathematics examination.
I was double crossing my fiancee and one day she caught me red handed.  She forgave me later.  I was very ashamed of what I had done.
I took some money from my parent's house without asking them for it, and I was caught red handed.
I was approaching my exam time and my books got stolen.  I was in a panic as I thought that I would not do well enough to be considered for the economics quota.  I cried a lot but that did not help and as the exam day came near a strange fear gripped me.
I was annoyed this particular day as it seemad that the odds were not in my favour.  My grandfather added fuel to the fire, when I  had an important appointment so I unleashed my anger on him.
It was the time I went home for my holidays only to find that my sister had passed away.  The news had been hidden from me, so that I could take my exams.
When I discovered that my mother had been involved in adultery.
I was caught stealing food at my aunt's place.  I had tried to hide the food I had taken from the pantry while my aunt was in the kitchen, however she went to the pantry and discovered the stolen package.
Dad had just married his second wife (my step-mother) and I did not like her so I went to the wardrobe and set fire to her dresses.  Eveyone suspected my brother and he had to bear the consequences.  Nobody ever got to know that it was me who had done it.
When I heard a lion roar for the first time.
When a friend told me that my education had nothing to do with our discussion.  This friend has failed the 7th grade, what made me angry was that I had not used my education to argue.
When my beloved grandfather died.
I was disgusted at the university wanting some of us to travel from our homes to the lectures here every day.  The way the whole thing was handled disgusted me.
When I was leaving home I decided to leave without saying good-bye to my young brother.  My brother saw me and said,        " Will you not say good-bye to me?"  He is only 31/2 years old.
When I cheated my father about the book allowance at university.  He discovered that we were given K150 per year for books.
When I was going home, I saw somathing which looked like a snake   on the road but later I found out that it was only a stick.
This happened recently, I  was in the dining hall and one of my friends with whom I was eating called me a fool.
I experienced this when my maternal grandmother passed away.  She was the last of my grand parents to pass away.
This happened when I could not get into the school I had initially wanted, and ended up doing something I had never thought I would do.
I insulted the girl to whom I had proposed when she turned me down.
My mother had sent me to buy a few things.  The change I brought back was not right as I had given away some money to a friend thinking that she would not notice it.  However, my mother told me that the change was not correct.
I was walking through a thick forest and there was a big snake at a distance of about four metres.
When my daughter began staying away from classes - at the age of nine only.
When my wife died in hospital, she was pregnant and had undergone an operation.
When my best friend started getting involved in my private affairs.
I was very drunk at a certain wedding party and I got involved in a fight.
I send a word to my boss through my servant telling him that I would not report for work as I was not feeling well and that the   doctor had refused to give me sick leave.  My intention was actually to go out of Lusaka for a week-end.  I left the same day and the following morning my boss found me in Mongu.  I felt guilty when asked to explain things on my return.
We were driving at night and I realized that a car was following us.
I reachad home to find that my baby had not been bathed and fed.
I saw a dead child which was not covered, it had been knocked down by a car.
I saw a friend's husband with another woman.
I scolded my sister without waiting for her explanation.
I accused my husband of being late deliberately when he came to pick me up from work.
When I took blood from a patient for alcohol estimation and urine for some other examination, he told me that something bad would happen to me as he would play magic on me.
When the dean of UNZA asked me to vacate a big flat I was occupying and take up a smaller one as I was becoming a full time student at UNZA.
When my close friend was involved in an accident and passed away instantly.  He had gone to buy a new car and had asked me to wait at his home so that I could see his new car.
When I was told that the brother who was staying with me would not go to the training school that year but only the year after.
A patient, to whom I had given a powerful medicine, shouted at me in front of many people.  I realized that he did so because he was very ill.
When I broke up my relationship with my former girlfriend as she would ask me irrelevant quetions about my past.
I was sleeping when I heard the neighbours screaming, I peeped through the window and saw a thief  trying to enter my neighbour's house.
I was annoyed when a person higher up asked me why a particular job was not done, it was not my job to do it.
My brother came to tell me about some problems we had in the  family.  I felt sad because I thought that if my mother had not gone away when this brother was younger, things would have been different.
I was in a train when a woman started talking loudly and attracting everybody's attention.  The worst thing was that she was discussing something, about which she knew nothing, with another person.
After a jogging session I had severe abdominal cramps and this lead to my wanting to empty my bladder.  My friends gathered around me and two of them had to help me to the toilet.  I was ashamed at having to go to the toilet in the presence of my friends.
A certain woman had asked me to make something for her and I kept putting it off.  When I finally made it, I did not see her for days only to be told one day that she had collapsed and died.  I felt quite guilty as she had jokingly said that I might not do what she had requested me to do.
I had gone for a medical check-up at the U.T.H and failed to make it back on time for the C119 practical sessions at 1400 hours last academic year.
When I was mistreated by my step-mother.
When my aunt passed away in early 1982.
When I failed to secure employment after my form 5 in Lusaka despite my excellent certificate.
When I failed my grade 7 exam at the first attempt in 1975.  My father and the entire family thought that I was finished in life.  I really felt like hiding.
When I beat up a first year student at my secondary school in my capacity as the deputy head boy.  He had woken up late in the  morning for manual work.
When a drunkard barged into a room where my friend and I had run in order to get away from him.  We were all alone and all I could see was this hand coming towards me.
When a friend and me played a joke on our boyfriends.  Her boyfriend came up and accused me of having planned the whole thing and said that I did not deserve my boyfriend.  He embarassed me in front of a crowd.
When my family and I heard of the death of my grandfather.  We had  seen him a few weeks earlier and it seemed that he had just been waiting to see us.
When a boy put a handful of cooked potatoes down my dress and there was no water to clean up.
When a soppy poem that I had written to a boy was found and every one read it and started teasing me about it.
When my boyfriend asked me to go out with him and I refused because I wanted to go out with another guy.  I did go out and my boyfriend found out.
Birds had made nests in our thatched roof and they were flying and flapping their wings in the bedroom at night.  It was very dark and I could not even see my nose.  I did not know that it was the birds till my mother told me so.
The juniors in our dormitory at school started to complain and make a lot of noise about the duties assigned to them by the prefect who was my class-mate and was very cool and dull.
My elder sister scolded me in front of my younger sisters and cousins.  She said that I was very lazy and I felt so sad that I cried myself to sleep.
On Christmas day a drunk man came to our house without a shirt on, he dansed, spoke nonsense and behaved stupidly.
When I wet my bed at boarding school.
My baby sister was 2-3 months old and when I was trying to get her on my back, she slipped and fell.
When I came back from work one day, the friends of my son told me that he had not come back from school and that he was lost.
My room-mate locked up our room without specifying where I would find the keys.  I had to spend several hours in my other friend's room.
I lost my grandfather whom I loved very much.  I had not known that he had been ill for a very time, when I received this message he was already dead.
The teacher of one course gave me 10 questions with sub-questions going from a to e for each question.  She asked me to do all this in one and a half hours.  It involved a lot of describing and explaining and even though I knew all the answers, I could not finish the work.
I forgot that the course instructor had directed us to go for special classes after the usual class hours.  I missed this the first day and when he asked me about it the next day I said that I had forgotten.
I was to inform the neighbour on my left that a robber had been spotted the same evening near the house of the neighbour in front.  I did not do it and the same day the thieves broke into this neighbour's house.
After having taken an exam i feared having failed it.
I was badly beaten up by one of my friends during a wedding party.
I was very sad at hearing that my grandfather had passed away.
I was disappointed by a girlfriend when I visited her at her home in Woodlands.
I was ashamed at being the only one to have got a C+ in ED120 assignment.
I was caught stealing a box of matches in the supermarket and had to plead guilty.
When I first came to the UNZA I did not know the kind of people I would find here and the kind of behaviour they would have towards me.
I had gone home for a week-end and when I came back I found that my clothes and my bedding had been stolen.
When my father passed away.
Someone stole a K10 note and the teacher thought that it was me when I was not responsible for the theft.
When I failed the grade seven exams.
One day my mother went to visit her friends.  When she came back she scolded me for not having kept the house in order, so I decided not to talk to her.
When my little sister was sick at home and I thought that she would die.
When I found out that my sister had been playing with my confidential things which she had taken from my hand-bag.
When one of my best friends commited siucide during these holidays.
I am disgusted at the number of second year students who are pregnant illegitimately.
When I got very low marks in one of the assignments.
When my aunt went out of her way to help me out with my financial problems.
When a thunder belt hit the roof top of the building I was in.
When my room-mate locked me out deliberately, before an exam due at 1400 hours.
When my friends died one after the other.  The first died in a car accident and the second one recently, due to an illness.
When my cousin put feaces in my washing.  A silly idea which was meant to be a joke.
Getting drunk and creating a lot of trouble at a place I respect - my friend's home.
When I took a small boy's share of choclale.  He was our guest and so had been given a larger share of the sweets.
The day I encountered a queer mamba face to face in a chunk of leaves behind our house.
When my friends tried to discriminate against my friendship with certain other friends which they thought was improper.
The day my teacher of Latin and French died.
The day I went to eat dinner in the dinning hall and found a dead fly in my gravy.
I felt ashamed of myself the first time I drank as nobody in the family drinks.  I felt that I had let down my parents and my friends.
The day I came home drunk after having attended a disco party.
I was caught doing something I was not supposed to do.  I did something with the person who caught me (bribe) and even though he promised not to report me, I am still frightened.
I told my friend something confidential which was supposed to remain between the two of us.  The next thing that happened was that a girl who is not even close to us came laughing and askad me to tell her about it.  I was very angry with my friend as I had trusted her.
I remember that when my mother died the day was sad and every time I think of it I am saddened by the loss of my mother.
When thieves broke into our house, I was disgusted by their behaviour.  They did not find anything so they broke things like the windows, glasses etc.
When I bribed the person who caught me doing something I was not supposed to have done.  I was very ashamed of what I had done.
I was caught doing something bad and I bribed the person who caught me.  Later I felt very bad, maybe I should have paid for my bad behaviour.
I was a passenger in a vehicle when suddenly another vehicle came from behind to overtake us.  However another one was coming right in front so the other vehicle changed course and blocked our way and so we crashed against the side of the road.
I was asked to stop studying economics, a field which interested me, by my employers.
When I learnt of the death of a friend.
When I learnt that my offer to study at the university had been withdrawn  and so I would not get hostel accomodation at UNZA, even though I registered as a student later.
My love proposal was turned down by a lady I really loved.
I came across a blind man sitting in one of the corridors and asking for money, though I had some money I did not give him anything.
When I was confronted by a policeman one night around 11 o'clock.  I was afraid when they threatened to take me and my girl to the gallows.
When an argument with a friend of mine over our behaviour towards another friend turned into a quarrel.   I lost my temper and nearly knocked him out.
When I lost my father in a car accident.
When I was denied my favourite dish at the dinning hall (shima with roast chicken), I felt disgusted.
I felt ashamed when a friend, I had always respected, insulted me in public.  He was drunk.
When my library books were overdue and I did not have the money to pay for them.
When I was an exploration with my friends and almost got lost in an unfamiliar environment.  It was getting dark and we did not know how to get back home.
When my father did not get back from Chipata on time, he was thus holding back progress as everything depended on him.  I felt angry over his actions.
When my little brother passed away mysteriously, at least from what I was told about it.
When I saw a woman who had been run over by a train, just off Kafue.  The woman had been cut to bits, there was blood and        splinters of bone every where.
When I almost did something awful with a friend of mine and myself.
When I "passed out" a female friend of mine for no apparent reason.  I was under the influence of drugs and when I am like that I get mad at anyone, however small the provocation.
When thieves broke into our neighbour's house and later we heard gunshots.
When my aunt scolded me for something I was not responsible for.  A boy had come to our gate asking for me, my aunt went out to see him.  I had neither met nor known the boy.
When my cousin passed away unexpectedly and tragically (a murder).
When my mother got a terrible beating from my father.  It was so bad that she fainted and it was only then that my dad realized how bad it was.
When my friend had a child out of wedlock.
When I lied at home.   I told them that I was going to a Christian meeting and I went to see my boyfriend instead.
When we forced a friend to chew a poisonous herb in primary school.  His tongue was swollen and he told his mother about it.  The mother reported it to the headmaster who threatened to expel us.
At boarding school someone put a lot of tiny thorns on my bed.  When I complained everybody began teasing me and laughing at my inability to find out my enemies.  I lost my temper.
When my grandfather died.
My room-mate was drunk, he vomited on the floor and fell face down on the vomit nearly choking himself to death.  Then he fainted and so I called the first aid.
As a kid my mother caught me stealing sugar and giving it to a neighbour.
I got into a bad fight in a bar and my friend received a bad cut above his left eye while trying to separate us.
I felt very frightened when a robber broke into our house and threatened to shoot my father if he did not part with some money.  I was looking at the man with his hand on the trigger.
A teacher at my former secondary school forced my darling to marry him.  The girl tried to refuse but her parents would not leave her alone.
When my sister died, she was only sixteen when she was put to rest.
When I witnessed an accident.
When my father found me in bed with a girl, we were deep in actioon when he entered the room.
I took my grandmother's money without telling her and when asked if it was me who had taken the money, I denied it.
I went home late one evening and saw that the security lights were off.  I got inside the gate and just then I realized that the dogs may be outside.
My little niece, who is very talkative, suddenly became very naughty and began wetting her pants.  She did it one afternoon.
This morning during my sleep I had a feeling that someboby was attacking me.  I started crying in my sleep and then my room-mate woke me up.
When I learnt that my cousin sister was pregnant.
My cousin and I were at the farm and at night we drunk like fools and made a lot of noise.  We had drunk two much of wine.
The fridge we had at home had a lock.  One day when I wanted something, I unscrewed the door but unfortunately I was caught in the act.
When I saw an accident, a woman was run over and she died on the spot.
When my dress and a few other things were stolen from my wardrobe.
When my grandmother passed away.
While watching a movie, someone who was drunk started vomiting helplessly.
When I ate my sister's food and then she found out that it was me.  I felt very ashamed but still refused to admit that it was me.
When I told a person something that had happened to my friend, and this person went and told my friend.
When I was told that the form five results were out.
When I saw my younger sister being bothered by a boy she did not know.
The time I lost a badminton match, that I should have won at the Zambia closed badminton championships.
When I was taking my girlfriend out, she seemed to have taken her time.
When my dad caught me with a honey (girlfriend) in my bedroom.
When I beat up a stupid boy who was fond of cracking jokes on me.
When I impregnated a certain girl, I thought that I would be forced to marry her or go to court.
When the university withdrew the accomodation that it had given me.
When my mother and father separated (it was a brief separation and they are together now).
When I patronized a certain tavern which had prostitutes, it was almost a brothel.
When I proposed love to a girl and she turned me down.
When I sided with my mother in a quarrel she had with my father before they briefly separated.
Two guys were fighting murderously and I feared that one of them would be killed.
When I could not reason my friend, it angered me.
I did not like it when a little girl was crying for her dead mother and was calling her by her name.  I was sad.
I feel disgusted at not having got aa "A" in yesterday's practicals of G220.
I felt very ashamed at having got a book by force from a girl.
I felt guilty of having suspected my room-mate of stealing the money last term.
My uncle was taken to the UTC for an operation as he had cancer.  There had been a lot of deaths of late - 3 out of every 4 operated.  I was scared for my uncle's life.
I had planned to go to town with my friend at 1500 hours but she went for the registration and I waited for a good 1 and a 1/2 hours.  It was vital for me to go to town but I could not as it was she who had the money.  Finally I borrowed some money from friends and we went to town.  I was really angry with my friend.
I dreamt of my father's death while I was at secondary school.  I was screaming at the top of my voice and was woken up by my friend.  That day I was really sad.
I had prepared a special meal for my boyfriend but when my brother came home he ate it all.  I was really disgusted about it.
We were at a party, this guy I liked and me.  I really loved him and gathered enough courage to ask him to kiss me.  He did not do it but instead asked me what I would like for my birthday.  I told him that I would like a kiss more than anything else but he excused himself and said that it was impossible.  I really felt embarassed.
We were at secondary school and I was making a lot of noise.  The teacher came to ask us as to who was making all the noise.  I did not own up so the  whole class was punished.
When I met an elephant in the bush.
When someone took my pen away.
When my cousin passed away during the holidays at home.  He fell ill at night and the next day he died in the evening.
An officer at the Dean of students office had promised me to give me a room the next day, but he failed to keep his promise.
I do not have accomodation on the campus so I stay with my extended family, one young man used bad words while asking me to leave their home.
I broke a glass of glycerine at the Z.C.B.C store in Ndola.
When I was walking around all alone at night.
Being made to look like a fool by a girl.
When my dad passed away.
When I was told that I had no right to control my lover.
Getting very low marks in mathematics.
When one of my lovers told me that I was a flirt.
When I had to walk along a dark road alone.
When I was locked out of my room by my room-mate's friend.
When I failed one of my courses at school - the university of Zambia.
When I found out that someone close to me was flirting around.
When I swindled money out of someone.
I did not deliver a message on time.
When my neighbour's house was broken into and shots could be heard.
When a thief broke into my house and stole some valuable goods.
The death of my guardian with whom I had stayed when I did my grade six.
When I was substituted in a play which was to be staged, after I had learnt all the lines.
When a woman who I respected very much was made pregnant, unexpectedly by a man of a caliber I never expected.
When I applied for a false travelling claim allowance and later I thought that I would be found out.
My father had been involved in a car accident two years ago.  I was then very scared thinking that he would die as he lay unconscious in hospital for two weeks.
I felt very angry when a mishanga seller robbed me of the transport money I had to go to school.
I felt very sad when a friend of mine failed the final exam and she could not be accepted at the institution of learning.
I felt disgusted when a fellow student asked me to marry him.  I had not expected this from him as he was a mere friend.
I was ashamed when my friend and I were cross with each other till we apologized to each other.
I felt guilty when I said bad things to my sister, I had not intended to do so.  She cried a lot and later she fell ill and I felt responsible for her illness.
In 1960,  I was going to a school which was near my village and I met a lion on the way, which disappeared suddenly.
When my wife told me that the refrigerator had stopped working.
When I heard of the death of my mother.
When my relatives troubled me so that I would help them financially.
When I failed one of the first year's courses.
When I was late for work and told my boss that it was due to transport problem, whereas the truth was that I had woken up late.  I thus cheated my boss.
In 1977 when my friend was caught by a crocodile.  We were swimming in a river on whose banks our primary school was situated.  When my friend was caught, he was on the banks of the river and some of us were still in the middle of the river.  I was very frightened.
In 1982, I was annoyed at an uncle who was drunk and was beating up his old father.  He claimed that the father was responsible for his guardian's failure.
Last academic year I received bad news - my grand-uncle had passed away.  I felt lonely and bad because apart from the         biological ties, he was a good old friend of mine at home.
Last week a former school (secondary) mate of mine, who is now in a differentt school came to my room here at UNZA in my absence.  He was drunk and he vomited in my room.  I was unhappy.
A few years back I had proposed love to a girl who later turned out to be related to me.  Though we were in love with each other, we both felt ashamed and withdrew from each other.
Last year I was asked to look after my niece while her mother was cooking.  Unfortunately the kid fell off the bed, I was confident that she would not fall and had not been paying much attention.
When I learnt that the girl I had impregnated was in hospital and was on the verge of dying as she had refused to accept the responsibility of her pregnancy and had wanted to commit suicide.
When I got home I found that the electrical supply had been disconnected despite my having paid ZESCO the full bill a few  days earlier.
When I lost my grandmother.  She had been my guardian after the death of my father.
When my demand for accomodation on the campus was refused and the rooms were allotted to first year students who were from "Rucher" and came from influential families.
When I told a girl that I could not take her out that night as I was entertaining my mother who had come from home.  However, I later met this girl with another girlfriend at a hostel where I had taken out another girlfriend of mine.
When I told the driver at my workplace to lie and tell the boss that it was not me who was responsible for the delay.  The boss was very annoyed and the driver was punished and a day's salary was taken away from him.
When burglars with guns forced themselves into my house and ordered me to give them money or face death.
When my colleague spat on my face after a quarrel.
When my elder brother died.
When my friend, after a beer spree vomitted in my sitting room.
When I was taken to the place where my uncle had defecated in his pants after having drunk beer.
When it was discovered that I had done the assignment at my work place, this caused a lot of embarrassment for me.
Whhen the front tyre of the car burst.
When I was insulted by a fellow student.
When the girl I loved turned me down.
When I found my girl in bed with another man.
When I failed grade 7.
When I was caught going out with another girl by my girlfriend.
I was working at a certain place and everyday after work dad would come to pick me up.  One day he did not come, it started getting very dark and I had no money on me and my home was very, very far away.
One day I had an appointment with my boyfriend which I had objected to in the begining, however he visited me and convinced me to come.  The day of the appointment; I had to wait for him for over an hour.
When my grandmother passed away.  We had been waiting for it as she had been sick for years, but when it happened I found it hard to accept.
When my grandmother came to stay with us permanently as she is a very difficult person to stay with and when she started telling false stories about us to other people.
When I realized that I was pregnant.  I thought about what my relatives and friends would think about me and I felt a lot of self pity.
One day when I was working, I went out for dinner with friends without my parents knowledge and I only came home at 2300 hours.
Last night, I dreamt that things that looked like monsters were trying to kiss me.
One of my colleagues accused me of having stolen his iron and I was sure that I had done no such thing.
The passing away of my mum.
One of these people who sell meat in town used a knife to stab his friend and later carried on using the same knife to cut meat.
About a dozen girls laughed at me and I was sure that there was nothing wrong with me.
This is a kind of confession - my mum found me stealing meat from the pot.
The time I drove my uncle's car, without having asked for his permission.  It was the first time that I was driving a car.
When my kid brother broke my reading spectacles.
When my mum's brother passed away after having been involved in a car accident.   He was bringing me a present as I had passed my form five exams with flying colours.
When I, for the first time, failed a junior exam, i.e form 3.
When my mum learnt that I had beaten up someone in a fight.
When I nearly got my fiancee pregnant.
When I was at a boarding school at Lusaka, the Rhodesian soldiers came to bomb a house near our school and we saw the whole scene.
A very close friend of mine was refused entrance to the medical school.  Her grades were very good and she should not have been left out.  Biased judgment !
My sister lost one of her twin sons (my first nephews) and then the older one died a week later.
When I went to report a stolen good at the police station, the woman-officer-in-charge was very rude and did not seem to have respect for anyone.
I insulted two of my friends because I thought that had been gossiping about me right under my nose, however I later found out that they were not doing so.
I failed to keep a promise and this had a serious effet on someone's problem.
When my neighbour's life was threatened by someone who was trying to break into his house.
When a boy who was drunk came into my room and misbehaved in the presence of my boyfriend.
My father resigned from work, and soon after this his elder brother died.  The next day my granny died (my mother's mother).  My dad remains the only living member of his family.
When the committee, to which I belong, was accused of having squandered the money of the association.
When I went to the library three weeks after it had opened and found that everyone was busy.
When my friend was punished for something that I had done.
One evening when my sisters, brothers and I were watching T.V my kid brother took a big mirror and reflected light on the french windows.  I thought that these lights that we could see were coming from torches annd that it meant that there were thieves outside.
Some people were sitting outside and saying things which were not really true.
A break-up with someone I really liked.
I came across a woman in town who was very drunk.  She was swearing at everyone and carried on drinking even though she could hardly stand.
I was wearing a slit tight dress at a disco and it burst open.
I had stopped talking to a very close friend of mine.  A week later he came over to try and make friends with me  again and from the way he talked I felt that he was a very mean preson.
When I witnessed a bus accident in which a bus, full of passengers,  nearly overturned on the Lusaka-Kabwe road.á
When my sister came home late one day and thus disobeyed my parents.
When I heard the news of my grandfather's sudden death.
When I failed the  grade 7 exams.
When my younger sister, who was then 16 years old, was pregnant.
When I hurt my sisters for no reason at all.
I got a very nasty electrical shock when I was tampering with some electrical applainces.á
When I was subjected to a very nasty joke by a group of friends.
When I received my results and found out that I could not go to a school of my choice.
When I found a maggot in my food at the dinning hall, all the food had gone bad.
I took a girl out once and discovered that she was going around with one of my close friends.
An item which belonged to a friend of mine was missing.  I had taken it earlier and I thought that I had returnrd it so when he asked me for it I stubbornly refused having it.  Later when I looked for it, I found it in my room.
When I thought that I had failed the examination.
When I discovered that my girlfriend was going around with another boy.
When my grandfather died.
When I heard that my sister had shouted at my friend's cousin at their place.
When I failed the grade 7.
When I had lied, saying that I never take bread from the dinning hall and a friend of mine caught me doing it.  He thus proved to me that I did in fact take the bread.
The day I was nearly stabbed to death by ruffians who wanted to take my money.  I refused to give them any money and they started running after me, I ran into somebody else's house to save myself.
When a kid dropped my father's radio cassette player, which he had just repaired.
When someone I love told me that she did not love me anymore and that she wanted all the snaps that she had given me in exchange for the ones I had given her.
When a girl said in my back that we were in love, and she had actually refused me.  When I confronted her she started insulting me.
When I told a lie to a friend of my sister on April fool's day.  She later came to see me and told me that it was a very foolish thing to do.
A girl dropped some stuff from her bag and when I tried to help her I realized that she had used me and I was made to look like a fool.
When thieves broke into my house at night and held my wife and me on gun-point for at least ten minutes and took away a lot of property.
When I was beaten up by thieves on behalf of some friends of mine as they thought that I had a lot of money and would not part with a few coins for their drinks.
When I received the news that my in-laws had passed away.  I depended heavily on them for their guidance and the running of their daughter's buisness.
When my younger sister visited me during the school holidays and told me that she would not go back to school because she was pregnant.
When I lied to my wife and told her that I was going to the Copperbelt on a buisness trip, she later found me in a hotel with a girlfriend.
When I cheated my father and told him that the school administration wanted K80 for the purchase of a mini-bus.  Two months later the school authorities wrote back to my father for the money.  I could not go back and ask him for the money again as he had already given it to me once.
I was at home and we were sleeping when we heard some robbers breaking into our house.
A certain boy came into my room and started telling me that I was not pretty, that I had no manners and that I should learn some.  I had just come to campus and he was in fourth year.
My elder sister whom I love very much was leaving for the          West Indies for two years and I was staying behind.
A certain girl asked me what my major was and when I told her that it was P.A she started criticizing it saying, "I hate that course."  She just shows off in front of other people.
I took an exam which I failed terribly as I had not studied.
I told my elder brother that he was irresponsible and that I did not care for what he did because he was teasing me.
The day I learnt that my girlfriend had been going around with  a close friend of mine.
I was drunk one night and I insulted three ladies.  The following morning they approached me and asked me the reason behind my bahaviour, I apologized for my unruly behaviour.
I was afraid when I learnt that my father was seriously ill in hospital.
When I met my new girlfriend with another man in the street.
When I learnt that my brother-in-law had been poisoned by his friends and that he was dead.
When I found out that the seat in the coach that I had booked had been sold to somebody else.
When money was stolen from my pocket.
When I discovered that the girl I was courting was a relative of mine.
When the robbers broke in, at night.
I wrote an assignment and was given less marks than a friend with whom I had previously discussed the assignment.
When I got a message that my child was not feeling well.
When I was teaching a student started making silly remarks in class.
When I was in grade one, one day I felt like going to the toilet during class but I was very scared of the teacher so I urinated in the class.
I bought something and the shopkeeper gave me more change, I realized this after I had left the shop and was on the bus-stop - and I then needed the money.
The day my parents were involved in a car accident and had to be operated  and before the operation the doctor said that it was mater of life or death.
I got into an argument with a photographer for whom I had to pose twelve times, over  a period of four weeks, before I could get a snap of mine.  Every time the film was processed my snap did not come out although the others did.
I was sad at the expulsion of some of my comrades during the UNZA demonstrations.
I was disgusted at the way the bus conductor threw out an old woman oiut of the mini-bus simply because she could not pay the fare for her luggage.
I had a feeling of shame when I found myself unable to answer some questions from my tutor simply because of a lack of preparation.
This last August when my parents dropped me off and moved me into college I didn't know anybody here; I was 17 and Berkeley really scared me.
When I found my boyfriend, who I had been dating for a year, at another girl's house. We had had previous conflicts concerning the girl, but he had always claimed they were just friends.
The same as for SHAME and DISGUST. I was asked to resign my sorority which I did because I was ashamed.
The same as in SHAME.
On a road trip with a group of sorority and fraternity people, I became intoxicated and basically raped. I don't remember the actual event, but I know the feeling that I experienced later.
When I got fired from a job because I gave a discount to a friend.
Whenever I think of enrolling in Organic Chemistry.
I saw in a movie a block on which affluence and poverty existed. I saw that the rich made no attempts to help the poor.
When I felt powerless to help the poor or when I don't know how to.
I felt disgusted at my teams poor perfomance prior to league play.
I was walking home from a place on southside and I live on Northside and I was followed. I headed my most direct route.
Someone signed up for a workshift at the co-op where I live and she did not want to work the switchboard. I became very angry. She had mentioned earlier that she wanted and needed the workshift to me so I did not sign up.
I did not do as well as I expected on a chemistry exam. I received a score below the average and I thought I had done very well.
I saw someone that I thought I knew repeatedly drunk. I do not like to be around alcoholics.
Every time I was around this one person I would stick my foot in my mouth by being nasty. One time I accidently said something fairly cruel that was totally inappropriate.
I blew up at someone for being confused and because of his irresponsibility and afterwards I felt guilty and that I had no right.
I was river rafting in Nev. and our boat tipped over and I was sucked under in to some rocks and got stuck and all I could think was that I was going to die. And it was so quiet under the water it seemed like no one would care or remember.
One of my first boyfriends got mad at me because a lot of my close friends were guys and he didn't want me to see them anymore because he was jealous.
I was watching a sunset after my latest boyfriend left me and I realized that we would never watch sunsets again, probaly never see eachother again and none of it mattered.
I was listening to a priest in church saying how sinful man was, and how all men should renounce their desires and pleasures to please God. I could never understand how something that brings you joy could be a sin.
My third grade teacher caught me cheating on a spelling test. I couldn't spell Australia and she said in a loud voice something like "We don't have cheaters in my class".
When I was 5, a few of my friends and I would light matches for fun. One of my friends confessed to her parents and my parents, I guess, knew or suspected I was involved but I said I knew nothing about it.
I felt fear when my friend and I broke into an abandoned military base in Los Angeles this summer. I feared because I didn't want to be caught.
I experienced anger most recently when I had committed a sin which I had gone a week and a half without doing. I had made a vow to God and had blown it. Now I had to start all over.
I last really felt sad when I left home for I was leaving all my long time, pre-kindergarten relationships behind.
When I committed a sin mentioned in ANGER. A sin of sexual immorality.
When I just took a shower with a girl down the hall. I felt that I had let my devotion to God go out the window. Although nothig happened I felt ashamed.
When I committed the sin of immorality mentioned before.
A few weeks back, as I was in a hurry to leave the house, I left some of my things lying around.  This is something I never do. My uncle,who lives with us, as we live in a joint family, remarked that we were always doing things like  this.  This really got me mad.
When I took the B.A exams,I was expecting a 1st class even though I had not done very well. When the results came out I felt sad as I had missed the 1st class by 12 marks.
A girlfriend of mine behaves in a very childish way - she does not like my going to see a friend who has been introduced to me by this same friend of mine.  I would like to be friends with both of them, but she does not like this as she is possessive and would like me to be close only to her.
A friend of mine had said something about not liking to come to my place just before coming to my place.   In the meanwhile I got to learn about this from another friend of mine and when she arrived at my place I really treated her badly.  I was later ashamed of the way I had treated someone when the person was at my place.
A few days back my mother was not feeling too well and still did all the house work.  I felt guilty as I had not offered to help.
I was scared of water when I was a child.
When I get home late my father scolds me and this makes me angry.
When my aunt died.
A friend of mine remembered me when she needed me and did not even think about me when she did not need me.
When I got 1 mark in an Abnormal Psychology exam.
[ I have not felt this emotion.]
When I dreamt that my family was in trouble and was facing many difficulties.
When my brother got very low marks in the exams, I was very angry. I put my studies aside to help him, as every time my brother does  badly at school, my family members blame me as well.á
[ When family mmembers or friends blame me for something I am not responsible for.  I feel very sad as it was not my fault.]
[ I feel disgust at people lying.  It means that they say one thing to one person and the same thing in another way to another person and this makes people quarrel among themselves.]
During a class I was asked a question which I did not hear very clearly, so I gave an answer which was not related to the question and everyone started laughing at me.
When my pet dog,who was to us a family member, died.  He had been vomitting for the past three days and we had not found the time to call a vet, finally when the vet came it was already too late.
Once I woke up in the middle of the night and felt frightened as everyone else was sleeping and I could not even go to their room.
[ It irritates me when people talk about me behind my back.  I    prefer people to tell me what they have to, on my face instead of talking behind my back.]
[ When friends and colleagues talk bad about me.]
At work when I did not get the full co-operation of my colleagues to complete an assignment.
[ When I acted against my mind or conscious.]
In the begining of teenage, on the matters of sex - speaking about sex.
Once I was caught by thugs aged between 20-35, they asked me to surrender all the property I had and I remember feeling very scared.
One night we, all the family members, were sitting in the front corridor of the house when a gentleman looking person came in.  He was my father's client and he had come to bribe my father in connection with the proceeding case.  At my father's refusal he abused my father, my brother and I could not control our temper and we rushed at him.
Once my friend and I got into into a hot discussion on a very controversial topic.  At one point of the argument I disagreed with her totally and I took what she was saying as an insult.  So I couter-argued and unknowingly hurt her emotionally, I felt very sad about this.
After joining my M.A in Social Sciences, I appeared for the first semester exam.  I failed one of the exams, and when I looked at my results I felt disgusted and then I got angry.
[ Never felt the emotion.]
[ Never felt the emotion.]
When I lost a wallet while travelling, since it belonged to the group I was very afraid.
When a person whom I had invited did not come on the appointed day and time.
I tried my level best to care for my client, I took an appointment with a doctor and before meeting the doctor he expired - a poor small boy from Uttar Pradesh.
My notes were not returned to me, it kept on being procrastinated.
I was misbehaving in the agency.
A friend of mine got encouragement and I did not, as the supervisor did not like me.
When going to the exam.
[ When I do not get any co-operation from my friends/partners.]
When my brother's visa for the U.S.A got cancelled.
I had known the girl for a few months when I proposed to her and this put an end to our friendship, as from then on we started withdrawing from each other.  I liked her very much.
When our school was raided by the pupils of the boys secondary school who beat us up.
When my room-mate locked up the keys of my room in our room after I had told her that I was  only in the bathroom having a shower.  She left and I had to do without supper.
When I received the news that my beloved grandmother had died.  I was at the boarding school and was only 13 years old.
One evening when a boy who was drunk made a pass at me by trying to kiss me.
When I blurted out an answer in class without having been asked to do so.  The teacher told me that it was bad manners to do so.
When I had promised to do some washing for my mother and I did not do it.  She did it herself despite her being ill.  I felt very guilty.
During the last academic year i.e 1983/1984 just before the closure, we were surrounded and threatened by the paramilitary forces.
When someone I trusted very much, disappointed me.
When a close friend of mine who was with me in first year could not make it to the second year.
When one of my friends started misbehaving.
When I failed one of the tests because I had not worked hard enough.
When I was scolded by my dad for bad behaviour.
The first day that I was close to a dead body, in my third year at UNZA, school of medicine.
A few monthe ago, when my brother's wife told me that I had bad manners.  To make matters worse she did not let me use their telephone as she only allowed people of her own tribe.
When I got to know that my father had passed away.
I was disgusted to discover that my girlfriend of few weeks was already fooling around with another guy.  I was disappointed as the guy was a rogue and I respected my girlfriend.
I was saying bad things about a man I had never seen.  I was with a friend and did not know that she was related to this man.  My friend did not tell me about it and I discovered this myself.
A very, very close friend of mine used to come to my room to      see me and I naver bothered to pay him a visit.  One day he asked me the reason behind this and I gave him a shirt.
When mother was very ill, I feared that she would die.
When a boy, who was drunk, insulted me in front of a crowd.  I was stopped from punching him for it.
When I heard the news that my brother had passed away.  It was the first time that I lost a brother.
When a student accused me of having stolen his textbook  as he had found a form bearing my name in his other books and all my explanations fell on deaf ears.
When my first sexual intercourse turned out to be a flop.  I was in a panic and ended up without an erection.
When my mother found me in her bedroom "stealing" sugar in her bedroom.  According to our customs there comes a stage when a child stops using the parents bedroom and I was well past that age.
We were driving on a very dusty road at night and the driver tried to overtake a very big truck only to find another big truck parked right in front.
I had gone on a vacation and my mother left home without leaving me any thing - money to come back to school.
I remember being sad whe my aunt's child died (2 days old).
I was eating in the dinning hall and some women joined me.  I could not eat with them so I left the dinning hall.
I was about to share lunch with my aunt's husband when she told me that I would have to wait and eat with my cousins.
When my friends and I were caught with our girlfriends outside the school grounds when I was at the secondary school.  We were caught by the headmaster.
A friend gave me a lift and we met a road-block.  He tried  to turn back when an officer shouted at us to stop.  My friend took a turn suddenly and the officer raised his gun but by the time we were gone.
I had worked very hard during my vacations to raise some money for a few major items (e.g a radio).  but when I arrived at the inter-city bus terminal, my hard earned money had been stolen from me.
My younger brother and sister were involved in an accident on their way back from school and my brother was quite badly hurt.
I went to the shopping centre to buy something and saw packets of Kapenta  with maggots in them. Oh !
I had a misunderstanding with my father and after some time I found that I had been wrong.
A very close friend of mine invited me to spend the holidays with him.  He was very kind, good and understanding.  However it turned out that he had two of his cousins at his place.  He, however gave me everything I needed - even transport money.
I was so sick that my relatives thought that I was bewitched.  I felt like dying.
When my girlfriend left me to go out with another guy, even though she knew that she was wrong.
When my girl went away for a holiday without saying good-bye to me.
When I failed my first biochemistry test.
When I bought new clothes and put them on.
I was trying to have sex with my best friend's girl but she did not agree to it.
When I went to my first dental appointment.
When my father banned me from going to his sister's home due to some misunderstanding between the two.
When my girlfriend was afraid and anxious the day before taking her exam.
When my room-mate made a mess of the room after having drunk the whole night at a graduation party ceremony.
When I did not inform my friends of my forthcoming birthday.
After I reluctantly refused to dine with a certain man on the same table.
When I entered the dissecting room for the anatomy class and saw several dead bodies lying on the benches.
I was in love with a very beautiful girl and when I went back for my holidays I found her wth another guy who she said was just a friend.  Later I found them together and was convinced that there was something fishy.
When I went to see the dead body of my uncle.  This was a very dramatic expreience as it was the first time that I entered a mortuary.
I went to spend a night with a relative of mine and there I found that the bed had been wet the previous night.
When the brother-in-law of a girlfriend of mine found us in a bedroom with clothes and panties spread all over the place.
The first time that I "played with myself" despite being a Christian.  I had read in the bible that it was wrong to make love to someone one is not married to.
When I entered the dissection room for the first time and was exposed to preserved dead human bodies.
When I learnt that my younger sister had been expelled from secondary school because she was pregnant.  That was the second time that this happened in the family - the first time it had been my elder sister.
When I realized that I was in hospital after a car accident and that I had a scleral tear in my left eye.
When a "friend" woke me up in the middle of a blessful sleep by knocking on the door.  Then he started calling me names and saying that he had heard that I had been talking behind his back, this was a lie and the guy was drunk to the core.
When I did not do well in the PG310 test I, I got only 4 marks above the pass marks despite my effort.  I felt bad because quite a number of friends did better.
When I realized that not all my friends like the comments that I pass in their presence.
When the time came for me to see dead bodies and to operate on them.
When I was accused of having planned my friend's outing at secondary school (boarding) as we were not allowed to go out.
When I realized the burden it was for my mother to look after all of us, all by herself.
When I heard that a woman of my community had aborted and got rid of the foetus by throwing it in the drain.
When I blamed my failure to the bias and favouritism in the        marking system, in fact I had not worked hard enough.
When my friend ended up pregnant by a gentleman whom I considered to be good and faithful but he ended up neglecting her and not bothering about her.
When I took the first year university exams and made a lot of mistakes in the P110 exam.  I was afraid of failing and thus being unable to go to the school of medicine.
When my brother-in-law's brother stole my clothes when my brother-in-law and I had gone to cut wood for the fire.
When I heard that my father had been involved in a car accident in Lusaka.  This happened when he had gone to get the car which had been stolen in Lusaka.
When I was accused of having impregnated someone's daughter, it was the girl's cousin who had done it.
When my darling found me walking hand in hand with another girl whom I loved also.
When I told my uncle a false story - that people had stolen the books from my room and I demanded money from him.  When he found out the truth I was in trouble.
When I was chased by a big dog near my house.
Being hooted at when I was learning to drive.
When my grandmother died - having to see my mother weep.
When I saw a drunk man urinate upon himsellf and he seemed to be thoroughly content with it.
When I had to walk home from the bus-stop in a skirt that I had soiled.  It drew a lot of attention and they all seemed to want to see the blood stains.
When I overate at lunch.
When my mother was seriously ill and had to be admitted to the hospital.
When someone took my things without having asked for my permission.
When my father passed away.
When I went to the clinic for a medical check-up and saw the way the lecturer was conducting the lecture and the kind of responses he got from the patients.
When I did something naughty and it lead to the embarrassment of my parents.
When I lied to the physiology teacher.
While drinking a soft drink, I had the impression of swallowing   a piece of glass so I went to the district hospital and got admitted there.
When my room-mate was making noise deliberately, by playing a flute early in the morning while I was trying to study.
When my grandmother passed away.
I witnessed a scene in which two women were abusing each other.
One morning after breakfast I was still not satisfied.  My nephew (a small boy of 2) had not eaten his breakfast and just when I was taking a bit of his share someone walked in.
I was to take a test and I had not made the necessary preparations until it was too late.  There were two days to go and I still had not done much.
When my father was involved in an accident.
When a few girls were talking rubbish about me.
When my beloved uncle was shot dead by relatives.
When I failed the entrance exam of the medical school and was studying biochemistry which has no job prospects in Zambia.
When my sister became pregnant at UNZA last year.
When I got very drunk and really misbehaved at Christmas.
When I was first exposed to the dead bodies, for dissecting        purposes at the school of medicine.
When our government decided to withdraw student allowances as it was one of the conditions imposed by the IMF. á
When my father was imprisoned for burning the house of his younger brother.
When my elder brother failed form five in 1968 when I was 5 years old.
When I contacted a sexually transmitted disease and the lecturer came to know about it as it was he who treated me for it.
When I cheated my trusting girlfriend by telling her that I was a qualified doctor and later she found out that I was only a medical student at the preclinical level.
When I was about to be bitten by my friend's dog, later on it bit me.
When I heard that an acquaintance of mine was spreading rumours about my affair with a close friend.
When a close friend of mine collapsed and passed away and the illness was not known.
When my father shouted at me for going to a party with my sister.
When I failed the grade seven exams.
When I forgot to cook something that my mother had told me to, and at supper time the food that I was supposed to have prepared was not there.
When I was going home for my holiday, I almost drowned in the Zambezi river.
When the paramilitary was sent to the UNZA and it started using tear gas and started intimidating the students without any provocation.
When my grandfather died.
When my parents insisted that I take up a teaching career.
When my cousin's wife refused him sex and claimed that she was my girllfriend.  I think that there is something wrong with the woman as I have never even thought of having sex with her.
When I beat up my brother so badly, for not having gone to school, that we had to take him to hospital.
I was walking along the passage to my room (very near the anatomy laboratory) and I heard something and felt that there was some thing behind me.  I looked back and there was no one.  I started imagining that maybe it was a corpse.
In form three we were taking our mock exams and someone else (a friend) was making noise when the examinateur picked on me and said that he would tear up my answer sheet.  I got very angry with the girls involved.
When my brother (5th in the family) passed away.
When a girl I knew aborted and threw the seven month foetus in a man-hole.
As a young girl in form I, I wet my bed one day at the boarding school and many girls came to see the person who had done it as I had to take my mattress out that day.
When I laughed at a lame man walking down the road, it looked funny at the time but later I felt lousy.  It was the same day that I had stolen some coins from my mother in the shop.
When my sister was very ill and was admitted to the hospital.
When my father failed to send me transport money after the closure of the school.
When my parents separated temporarily and I was left behind with my father.  As I loved my mother I wanted to go with her.
When I beat up my brother in order to control him and make him obey my parents orders.
When I was hungry, I tried to take the money that my mother had saved up for something else.
I encouraged my brother to play football and he was hurt while playing the game.
The first time that I saw a dead person.  This was when I started my gross anatomy practicals.
I once failed a test miserably and my friend did very well and someone made a nasty comment while comparing me to my friend.
A friend of mine got pregnant anf failed the first year at university.  The boyfriend refused his responsibility and they ended up in court.
I once saw an elderly lady who was not properly dressed.  She was wearing a transparent dress, such things are not sopposed to be seen in African society.
During my childhood I once lied and my sister found out.
When I was left alone at home one night by my brother.
The government's announcement of the withdrawal of the student allowances in 1984.
When I first suffered from syphilis.
Being mistreated by my former primary school teacher, Mr Zalu.
Lying to my cousin about the form five examination fees.
In September 1984 I got two girls pregnant and the families of both the girls confronted me .  The fact was that my parents were around and I felt guilty answering some of the questions.
When I was first taken to the dissection room where I found 10 dead human bodies.
I was really angry when the President general of UNZASU was arrested by policemen.
When one of my closest friends failed to make it to the third year of university.
[ I do not remember any event when I felt guilty.]
When I had to talk to some strangers, from whom I was expecting a negative answer.
[ When some difference of opinion occurs in a silly situation.]  á
I wanted something in particular and did not get it, also there was no possibility of getting it.
I felt disgusted when we (family) avoided a problem which could be solved readily.
[ I feel shame when I do not arrive on time and others have to wait for me for a long time.]
When I could not fulfill my expectations.
When I saw the movie "Poltergist".
When my mother scolded me for coming home late, i.e after 7 P.M.
When my grandfather died.
When a close friend of mine maintained a relationship with me till she needed me and broke it off when she did not need me.  She behaved life a really selfish person.
[ I have not felt this emotion in my life.]
[ I have not felt this emotion in my life.]
[ While approaching to test the situation.]
When my boyfriend told me that it would be difficult for him to marry me.
When I left my part-time job.
I felt very disgusted at a friend to whom I had given a Psychology book to read, and she did not care to give me back the book during the exams.
When an intimate friend of mine passed B.A with first class and I got only pass class.
When I did not concentrate on my studies despite my mother's help and cooperation.
Failing in the English language exam.
Mentioning a book to the person who borrowed it.
Finding out about people can go mad for social reasons.
Someone borrowed my textbook and deliberately did not return it.
I like someone who does not like me and was rude to me.
Cueing for bath for a long time.
My article not chosen by the college newspaper
I did not do my homework and went to see a film.
A relative died.
Bad food in the students' dining hall.
Could not get into the university I wanted to get in.
Noisy people in the library.
Meeting other friends who got in the good universities.
Telling my parents that I did not get into a good university.
Before the first examn.
Someone messing up the room we share.
My best friend could not get into university.
Some students trying to please the lecturer.
Not chosen for all English classes.
I am not good enough to join any team to play sport for the class.
Being threatened by another person.
Insulted by the class leader.
Saying goodbye to a friend.
Saw a dead rat on the street.
Not doing well in the examn.
Too busy to write letters to friends and they said I had forgotten about them.
Got ill.
Tripped on a busy street.
A child beaten up by his mother.
First anatomy lesson.
Failing an examn.
Broken a friend's cup.
Saw a snake unexpectedly.
Seeing this badly made questionnaire.
You ignored the fact that we could not hear you at the back.
Dead rat in the kitchen of the university.
Failing an examn.
Did not pick up a water mellon skin, someone slipped on it.
Someone frightened me in the dark.
People having a football match outside the window during the lecture.
China can not even give you good sound systems for an open lecture.
People talking in an important lecture.
Not being able to hand in homework in time.
Thinking about other things in a lecture.
Heard some ghost-like noise at night.
A father helping his kid to fight other kids.
A father of 4 children killed in an accident.
When junior doctors returned to work after bunking them.
When I was caught with someone's daughter.
When the student union leaders were expelled from the university and we continued to study.
When I was watching a movie in which there was a pit full of dangers and there was only a small safe place on which a man was standing; he had to catch the lady who was thrown in or else ! The pit was 20 feet deep.
My mother and my sister carried on picking at me all day long for no reason at all and I ended up getting angry.
When my boyfriend almost had a relationship with a close friend of mine.
When a classmate of ours knocked on our door at 2 o'clock in the morning.  I was disgusted at his behaviour.
I told a lie about someone to someone else and they found out   and questioned me about it.
I broke a cup and put it back without telling anyone about it and someone almost got blamed for it, then it was discovered that it was me who had broken it.
I was complaining about calling people whom I didn't know. I forgot that the purpose is to invite people for dinner and get to know them.
Whenever I see poverty and starvation. I live in an affluent society and am privileged to have many opportunities.
English papers are due on Friday. They are returned on Tuesday. This Tuesday I was afraid to go to class and get my paper because I knew it was bad.
A friend of mine came to visit and stayed with my roommate and me. My roommate and she became good friends. After she left, he didn't talk too highly of her.
After receiving the grade on the paper mentioned in FEAR.
Seeing a person panhandling money on Telegraph.
After the car accident in GUILT.
The night of a high school dance, I went partying and collided with another car. Both cars were totalled; people were injured but not seriously.
Fear of doing well on a midterm.
I felt anger at my roommate due to his habit of leaving dirty dishes in the sink and generally not cleaning after himself.
When my grandmother after staying with us for awhile went back home.
I felt disgust as a result of one of my midterms - I thought I had prepared well for it, but the end result wasn't what I had expected.
I felt shame when I saw someone I knew and pretended not to see her. Later she saw me and said hi.
In neglecting some work that had to be done around the house and telling my roommate I would get it done.
Housesitting and hearing the alarm go off. I knew someone had to be breaking in. I called the police and was panicking while on the phone. It was awful. It turns out that I stepped on the hidden alarm without prior knowledge of its existance.
Going to Cowell Hospital and finding out tediously that I had a stress fracture. The anger came when the senile doctors found out 4 weeks later that I had 2 stress fractures in one foot and should have had crutches. I was in distinct pain and barely could walk to classes. They said it would be better in 2 weeks.
Losing my job that I had for 4 summers. I took it personally and cried for 6 hours off and on. I wanted to hide away and did for a few days.
Seeing a friend "making love" to a high school girl. I accidentally was dragged into this room where the happenings had occurred. I was disgusted at the reality.
I borrowed a gold bracelet without the girl's knowledge. I had it for so long I had to keep it. To this day I feel ashamed at myself for having it. I never wear the thing anymore.
After moving out of my apt. I took all the furniture and dishes and everything. It was mine but I took it all just to spite my roomies. We had a few (a lot) of disagreements. I felt guilt for moving out for the bad reasons.
After my shoulder operation, I woke up in the hospital room alone. I was in pain and was still under heavy medications. I could not find my parents.
When I found out my cousin had been killed. I was angry at the world, and her murderer who was her ex-boyfriend. It was the worst and most hateful day of my life.
I spent a weekend in San Diego visiting my boyfriend Rob. We were at the airport and my plane was just about so leave. After saying goodbye, I boarded the plane. It was the hardest thing to do and it was a sad trip home.
I was supposed to be studying for my math midterm a few days ago, however, I fooled around with my roommate, and didn't start studying until 12:00 am. I was disgusted with myself.
Since I've been here I haven't written to any of my relatives. I got a letter from my mom telling me how upset my grandparents are from not hearing from me.
A man in a car was following me when I went running early one morning in a fairly secluded area.
I caught a "peeping tom" at my window when I was getting undressed.
Saying goodbye at the airport to my boyfriend who has to go to school back East. We are very close and have been together 4 years.
My parents claimed me on their income tax after I had been out of the house for two years receiving no financial support from them. As result I had to work more during school because they were expected by the FAO to contribute to my education when they refuse to do so.
I was wearing a short skirt one day and someone told me my underwear was showing.
Getting a D in a class last semester and knowing it was because I didn't study.
At age 10 my foster grandmother died, I had a fear of dying.
I am currently taking CS 50P. I had to finish a couple of assignments but I was hindered because I could not get a passing score on my program.
The girl I was seeing didn't want to have a serious relationship. á
I found out that someone that I knew had someone else taking tests for her.
One night a friend found out that I dumped one girl for another and he proceded to lecture me.
I called off a relationship with one girl so I could see another.
I was driving and stopped at a stop light. I was planning to make a right turn as soon as it was clear. It was clear on the left so I started but a man was just in front of the car.
During a dance someone slashed my tires and dumped paint on my car. I had four other friends with me that I drove and furthermore it was raining.
When I was trying for a girl who I really liked and cared for and thought she felt the same way too. But she didn't like the idea and just wanted to stay friends.
When I lose on my bets on anything - baseball, football, basketball, track, craps, poker, or arcade - whether its 5 dollars or 200 I feel that I should never have done it in the first place.
I took my math midterm and got it back the following Wednesday in class. It was a totally low grade.
My mom told me not to gamble, but I did anyway. Sometimes I would even take some money from my parents and brother. She found out and yelled at me.
I confronted a bigger person than I and almost got into a fight.
I was called racial slurs behind my back.
My grandmother died during Christmas break several years ago.
Saw a scene in a movie implying incest as humorous.
When given responsibility to grade papers in elementary school, I cheated a little and graded my own higher.
When I was a kid I stole toys from other kids.
Alone in the house (late 8pm) I heard noises. Sounded like someone was trying to get in our back door.
A friend doesn't let me study when I want to. She doesn't feel I need to study and doesn't understand how important studying is to me. I get very angry with her.
Death of a pet rabbit. We had to give it away because my brother became allergic to it. We gave it to a man who kept animals and lots of other animals for children to watch. We went to visit our rabbit. It was badly beaten by the other rabbits and eventually died.
When I stand at the bus stop for one hour waiting for the bus to arrive.
When I sat in the wrong discussion section in the beginning of the semester. I insisted on being in the right section and the TA's list should have included my name. When I found out that I was in the wrong, I apologized, turned red and left.
About not helping my sister when she asked me to help her on her chemistry class. I pretended to be busy.
Going to take my driving test.
I came home one day and discovered that my sister had borrowed my car and had gotten into an accident with it. My entire front bumper was destroyed.
When I heard the news that my grandfather had died.
When a friend of mine keeps telling me morbid things that happened to his dog.
When I purposely locked my babysitter out of the house at age 4 because I DIDN'T LIKE HER.
When I did not go to work because I had to study for a midterm.
A friend and I were going to have a study session together in which we quiz ourselves in biology material. Because I believed I didn't study enough. I feared I would fail.
I live with my sister now and sometimes she angers me especially when she thinks I don't keep the apt. clean enough.
When I found out that I could not go to the concert (after buying the tickets) because of a biology test which occurred the morning after.
Right now I volunteer at a hospital. Yesterday, Halloween, I dressed up as a doctor and went to work. The volunteer coordinator told me after my shift that it was dangerous to have done what I did.
When I get an exam back with a grade that I did not desire. Then I get mad at myself and say that I could have done better.
After days or weekends where I did not accomplish the amount of sudying that I wanted to because of more pleasant activities which come up.
During one year my mother almost had a nervous breakdown and my father had a serious operation. I was afraid that our family (4 kids, I'm the oldest) wouldn't hold together. Everything turned out fine.
Last semester when I dated a girl whom I've known for almost a year. However one night she said she wanted us to be "just friends". I confided this to a friend Jim I was really suffering. A month or two later he broke up with his old girlfriend and they started going out regularly. I have no girlfriend nor have I had a romantic relationship of any significance. I feel some anger but we are friends again.
When I was a Sr. in HS. one of the class counselors died of hepatitis. She was very sensitive. She knew my shyness and drew me out to improve myself image. I missed her funeral - so I could not publically grieve. My parents didn't understand.
I applied for a job of GALSO counselor and I made the strongest possible application but was denied an interview. I felt disgusted at the system which by promoting the cause of minorities makes employing whites lowest priority.
I was angry about 3 months ago and I kicked backwards against the wall. It caved in and so I had to show it to my parents. I had been angry after my mother said something to me about not being able to find clothes in my size - something that I'm sensitive about. (6' 5'' 210)
When I lied last week. I lied to someone to get info. for a paper I was writing. I told her that the info. was for a newspaper article. I was afraid if I told the truth she wouldn't help me.
Getting back my Psych 140 midterm.
My roommate leaving my drawers in a mess after plowing thourgh them looking for something.
My friend who was in the Bago was kicked out of the sorority.
A friend of mine had sex with someone of a different race on a Winnebago trip down to USC in front of everyone (all my friends embarrassed my sorority house name).
When I lied to my best friend about a boy she really liked but he didn't like her. I told her he did and she bugged him for a long time embarrassing herself.
I'm allergic to most foods - eating something that I'm allergic to caused guilt.
A certain night during initiation.
When someone threw a firecracker into my room at 7:00 am in the morning.
A close friend of the family died.
When other people refuse to do their house jobs and give the work to someone else.
Not doing my share of the work for the house job.
Forgetting a close friend's birthday.
I could not do the questions on my math midterm.
I was supposed to meet my girlfriend at a pre-arranged place but it took me an hour to find her.
My grandmother died over the summer. I knew her very well, she baked great biscuits. She was in the hospital but expected to improve and go home soon. She died in her sleep.
I saw part of a Prince video with him crawling out of a bath tub.
My grand father caught me eating his private jelly bean supply.
I slammed my little brother into a wall because he was bothering me.
When I was going to bring back my girlfriend to LA to meet my parents.
When I found out that my good friend and roommate did not pay the phone bill and electric bill like he promised and let me down.
When I found out that my girlfriend would not be coming back to UCB for one semester, but would be living in San Jose.
Finding out my grades at the end of my Sophomore year.
When I found out my roommate had been talking behind my back about very personal things.
When I was about 17 years old and I stole some pens from a stationery store because I didn't have enough money.
First day back on the job.
When the person I'm having the affair with won't talk to me in public.
My roommate's sister committed suicide.
When I was getting so fat.
Lying to my grandparents about visiting my boyfriend in Chico.
Having an affair with my good friend's best friend. And every time I see my best friend I feel guilt because we can't tell him.
When there was a bomb threat in Tolman Hall. This was the first time that I felt my life could be in danger.
When people would tell me that my ex-girlfriend was playing around on me.
When my grandmother passed away.
When I study my butt off for a midterm and still get an average grade.
When I was 10, I got busted for stealing a candy-bar.
When I copy someone else's problem set.
My mom called early in the morning (On a Monday) and I had just seen her that weekend. I couldn't understand what could be so important as to make her call at such a strange hour. I missed the call and had to call her back that afternoon.
My peers didn't want me to meet someone during rush for fear that I would give her a bad outlook on our Sororoty house. I shouldn't have seen this, but they blew and I did.
I was told that a friend of a friend committed suicide.
Doing poorly on a midterm.
My boat didn't win a race which we were favored to win.
Sleeping through crew practice one Monday morning.
Upon reading a story on a serial killer by the name of Henry Lee Lucas who has been given the distinction of killing more people that any other man. I began to wonder if I should take more care for my safety.
I had worked long and hard on a project when a friend inadvertantly destroyed it. I could not forgive him for a long time. And at times still get angry at him.
When a pet died. The pet was the closest friend I had for 15 years.
When people/press analyze a particular newsworthy item (CAL Football team) which I am a member and can only see the situation in a bad light and always put the team down.
Recently, some friends and I had too much to drink while on a foot-ball road trip to USC. We trashed our hotel room and I felt ashamed when the maid walked in the next morning.
I felt guilty when I mislead a person into thinking he was a close friend when that person was more of a casual acquaintance.
One summer when I was camping with friends they devised and elaborate plan to scare me by having our camp attecked by a wild animal (one of them) and then convincing the campground was the home of a satanic organization.
I went out dancing and found my boyfriend kissing another girl.
At the end of my senior yr. in high school I found out that a friend of mine I knew had cancer had been diagnosed as terminally ill.
Sitting in the dorm when the guys were verbally reading letters in Penthouse.
I slipped on butter one evening in the Dining Commons landed on my rear causing my tray also to land on the floor.
A person I was attracted to walked me home in the rain and got sick.
When I was little I lost control of my bike and started to go into a buay intersection but my neighbor stopped me just in time.
This summer I got into a fight with one of our patrons (at a theatre). He hit me and I hit him and her friend, he hit my friend and we all hit eachother.
This monday I took a Math 1BS test and flunked for the second time.
When I found out the CIA was mining Nicaraguan harbors.
A month ago I turned in an English paper in late after I had already had a previous paper late and promised not to do it again.
I forgot my mother's and sister's birthdays (they fall on the same day).
A time when I was very afraid of something was when I broke my father's antique lamp.
When someone told a secret I told them not to tell.
When my mother was very sick and almost died.
When I saw President Reagan get elected.
When I failed some tests my first year at CAL.
When I stole something.
Walking through campus at night a squirrel jumped in front of me.
After a long trip in my dad's van without incident I stopped to fill the tank with gas and dented the side of the van against the pole. Then my cars electrical system would not work when I tried to drive home from his house.
At one point in a relationship, my boyfriend was seeing an old flame more than me. At our confrontation tears were shed.
When a skunk invaded camp.
I made an unkind remark about the ethnicity of some friends without realizing it.
I mangled the side of my dad's van on a fence. I did not realize the extent of the damage until he showed it to me the next day. The shock on my face was genuine so a friend interceded with a good excuse which I did not deny. I never clarified the situation.
When I had to walk home in the dark for the first time.
A time when, as part of my work, I was sent out actually sort of volunteered to run an errand for someone who had no authority to send me out and the address was very far especially on foot and turned out to be incorrect too. The whole trip was a waste.
When my boyfriend said he did not want to see me anymore (which turned out to be untrue).
When my roommate forgets to flush the toilet.
When I did poorly on a test and I knew that there wasn't an excuse for not doing better. Made mistakes I could not believe I made.
Remembering (at the time I did not feel guilt) in recent yrs. how angry I would get when I was babysitting my new brother and he would not stop crying. I did not do anything harmful or shocking. But I feel guilty for treating him the way I did especially since I adore him now. That's why I spoil him now.
When I began school at UC. The pre-enrollment the classes, and the question of success really scared me.
A month ago when one of my fellow workers got a promotion over me. It was just a small promotion but recognition was involved.
When another fellow worker decided to leave the company. We had been very close and we would not be able to work with eachother any longer.
Through the media and their presentation of a kidnapped child who was raped.
When I had not been accepted to a college which I dreamed of going to. I felt that I had let myself and my parents down.
I told my parents (or more realistically) would not do what they wanted me to do anymore. I guess I sort of betrayed them after all they had done for me.
One day before Christmas, I went shopping with my brother and his friend. We had a good time. But on the way home we were almost in an accident because the weather was bad.
I can't remember being truly angry. Usually it's just disappointment that I feel. One situation would be with my brother. He and I used to be close but now he seems to be avoiding me.
4 years ago my family decided to move from New York to California. From the time we decided to move until the time we left, I realized how much my friends cared for me. When we left and for a long time after that I was very sad.
Once when I was babysitting for some neighbors children I found roaches in ther bathroom. I had never seen a roach before but I called my mother to make sure that's what they were. And she came over and checked.
The first time I slept at my boyfriends house and had to walk down the hall to the shower in front of his housemates. I felt they were judging me.
I was at school and afterwards went to work. After work I went to see a friend and stayed out late. when I got home my mother was awake and I felt guilty.
after getting a fail notice for a math class, I realized I was not doing very well in school in any subject. I began to fear failing a class or two.
Physically fighting with my girlfriend because she just walked out of a room of my friends and had pushed and cursed at me when I went to find her.
Hearing about a friend back home that had to have his stomach pumped because he had overdosed on pills.
After learning on the news about this man who killed more than 300 women and habitually copulated into their inert bodies.
I had just masterbated with another boy.
Going out with another girl besides my girlfriend and not telling her.
Going to CAL not knowing anyone.
When a close friend did not write.
Leaving high school.
When my roommate came home at 10 in the morning after sleeping with a guy she did not know because she got drunk. (Se has a boyfriend too).
Fooling around with this guy I did not know.
Not noticing my roommates quietness or a sign of discomfort.
Taking a chemistry midterm.
While I was away for the weekend some friends went into my room and played my very expensive stereo without asking me or my roommate.
I asked a girl out on a date and she said no.
I was playing a sport in an advanced PE class and many of the people were not advanced.
I bought a possible answer to a homework problem which was completely inapplicable to the question due to my not having read about the subject matter.
Lately I've felt guilty because I'm folling behind in my classes and not studying much.
Waiting for my girlfriend to come from her apt. to mine. She was very late and I thought something awful had happened.
I bought a new bed for my apt. and it squeaks when you move on it. I tried to fix it but could not.
Finding out that my grandfather had died. He lived in England and I had not seen him for 10 years.
Cleaning the bathroom of my apt. and realizing my roommate who had lived there all summer by himself had never cleaned the place.
Doing poorly on an exam that I thought I should do well.
Criticizing my mother when she refused to drive with the radio on. I told her that I thought she wasn't intelligent enough to cope with the radio.
I needed a recommendation for something. I decided that the best person to get one from was a professor who I had never talked to before. I felt a lot of fear going up after class to ask him to recommend me considering he had never heard my name before. But I did.
I had been searching for housing for Fall at UCB and I was finally offered a place - then an ordeal followed, first I accepted then refused - related to my parents judgment (they're paying for me). Turns out that I was so upset at what my Dad said to me that I hung up on him. He called back and threatened to cut me off financially and emotionally.
We got news that my (almost) 21 years old brother died while visiting Europe of a cerebral hemorhage. It finally hit me an hour after we saw his corpse in the coffin. It felt like a door between himself and everything had closed and locked forever.
I was reading in the paper the feature on Henry Lucas who claims to have killed 380 people. He was a recreational killer and a necrophiliac and zoophiliac. He has raped and beaten many women and killed men too.
The people on my floor last year were very close. This year 4 of our best friends live together in an apartment. My boyfriend and I dropped by on one of their birthdays and stayed for dinner. Two other people had already been invited and I felt uncomfortable and unwanted. Then I realized I was the one who always called them and they rarely call me.
I was talking to my mom on the phone and she told me that she had just gotten an award that day in front of all these people and she asked me if I wanted her to send me the article in the temple newsletter to me. I said no very quickly and felt guilty for not being more interested and hurting her feelings.
I was alone and someone tried to break in from our back door.
When some friends betrayed my friendship.
When I did bad on a chamistry midterm which I could have done well.
When an employer of my younger sister (17 yrs) made a "pass" at her.
Defying my parents and staying out all night when I wasn't supposed to.
Yelled at my parents for not buying me a car like other parents.
Occured while preparing for a midterm in Social Welfare that I thought was going to be very hard and felt unprepared for.
Argument with roommate over a lock he had put on kitchen cupboard without telling anyone.
Day time robbery of our house.
Robbery mentioned under sadness.
Caught lying to my father about a speeding ticket I had received.
Getting a friend an open container ticket because I got caught speeding.
Before I moved away from home, I feared leaving.
When a friend carelessly broke and object in my parent's house and did not apologize, or pay, or anything.
I felt sadness when my grandfather died.
This person I know lied about how much income his parents made and received money through grants which he did not need. Another person is barely making it, did not lie, and did not receive enough money.
After a big fight with my parents.
I forgot about a close relatives's birthday.
While skiing in Squaw Valley, I was riding up a chair lift and right when the chair was above a sheer cliff of rocks, the chair lift stopped and all the chairs sagged and everything seemed to creak loudly.
I received a poor grade on a midterm even though I got all the right answers and knew the material. I went to the TA to try to raise my grade and he wouldn't do it.
My girlfriend wanted to breakup for an indefinite amt. of time. She said that she couldn't commit herself fully to the relationship without going out with other people. I was her first boyfriend.
I read in the newspaper about a 21 yr. old woman who was found naked and dead along a roadside. It turned out she had had two relatives 14 and 19 who were kidnapped, raped and killed earlier.
I went to bed with a girl and the next day she thought it was the start of something serious and I just thought it was fun and I told her I wasn't interested in starting a serious relationship.
I dreamed that this girl and I were cuddling in bed when my girlfriend walked in. I really love my girlfriend so I felt guilty and sad. I know that this is a wierd example but the dream and the feeling was clear to me as if it had really happened.
Being involved in a car accident and having my thumb caught in the glove compartment. My sister and I had a Fear of finally telling my parents, since my sister was the driver.
A co-worker and I had to rush a project. I was only working there for one month and he for some years. Instead of letting me know that he wanted to do the project himself, he went to the superviser and let the superviser tell me to let the co-worker do it himself since he was quicker at it.
Losing a pet chick. Our family had just put the chick outside a few days before and then one morning it was gone.
NO RESPONSE
NO RESPONSE
Having told a certain lie.
Two summers ago my best friend and I drove into unknown mountains at midnight to pick up my broken car. We told one another horrifically scary ghost/murder stories and succeeded in scaring eachother pretty well - even though somewhere in our heads we knew the fears were unjustified.
I had just seen my pseudo-girlfriend and our conversation angered me greatly.
My grandfather died thirteen years ago.
When one individual takes advantage of and/or injures another relatively defenseless individual, consciously. I feel disgust mingled with anger. A person on my dorm floor verbally assaulted another person for having a certain religious belief.
I borrowed $ 20.00 from a friend and paid him back much later than I had originally intended.
I angered a close friend and he was injured.
I was to meet one of my friends (girl) at the library at 8:00 already dark. She would be walking alone. She was 45 minutes late but I kept waiting, calling her room and other places she could have been.
While studying chemistry with a friend we became angry with eachother because we were both fed up.
I received a letter from my grandmother. She has obviusly suffered a lot from my grandfather's suffering health. She mentioned things she had gotten him and he would never use.
One of my good friends told people something I had told her in confidence about someone else.
I wanted my boyfriend to stay when he didn't. He stayed but when he left I felt ashamed because I should have let him leave when he wanted. I was too selfish.
At a party, I started talking to a guy I had seen in one of my classes. My boyfriend felt awkward and left to talk to a friend but kept on looking at me as I talked.
I was driving on to a busy freeway during rush hour and it was slightly raining. A diesel truck was coming very close behind me and I was close behind a pick-up. I changed lanes and barely hit the truck and ran a Honda of the road. I was scared to death to go back and see if I caused him to crash.
I was really pissed when the Russians boycotted the '84 Olympics. I had anger towards them and Jimmy Crter. I was very anxious to see it.
It made me very sad to hear that some construction company was going to build houses on the beautiful hills by my house.
I vividly remember having feelings of disgust toward some of my jr. high classmates who didn't work at all on their schoolwork and who would coplain and take my tax money when I was older and more successful than they were. At the time I pictured some adults like this that I knew in the complaining situation.
I could have died when I was caught cheating on a test in high school. That was my first and last time.
When I didn't study for tests in High School. In particular  remember a physics test. I didn't study because my friends talked me out of it and we did something else boring. I felt so helpless just being there - then guilt set in because I was very close to getting an A in the class.
When  first came to CAL I went to a rally on Sproul and I later learned that the rally was conducted by the Moonie cult. They were taking pictures at the rally, so I was afraid that they would circulate the pictures and then kidnap people. I did not know how the cult worked. I was scared.
When I was faced with writing an essay and I didn't want to do it I was angry that I had to write an essay and angry at myself for not having the time to write a good essay.
I ran a race for the CAL track team and I did terribly and then the coach said that I should sit out for the season. I felt really sad because I wasn't going to be able to run. It was something I always had done and now I couldn't do it anymore.
When I saw a girl in my economics discussion section smiling and asking stupid questions to the TA. just to get attention. She was obviously ass-kissing. It happens in every Econ. discussion held weekly.
I was supposed to go out with my girlfriend one Saturday night, but I got really drunk with some friends earlier that afternoon and evening. So, I totally forgot about going out with my girlfriend. She showed up the next day, and that was when I remembered.
I went to go get a bike innertube fixed. I fixed it and I was supposed to pay previously but I didn't. I said I would after I fixed the tire. After fixing the tire, the salesperson who helped me was gone so I walked out of the store without paying. I felt guilty so I went inside and paid for the tire.
I feared that my dog's eye was infected too much. He had played around in the weeds and a foxtail had gotten under his eyelid. I took him to the vet and I feared that he may go blind because of the foxtail.
One of my friends kept criticizing me about everything I did. I thought she was kidding, but later I found out that she was serious.
One of my relatives became seriously ill. I felt sad because I didn't know if she will ever be the same again.
I felt disgusted when I found out that someone had betrayed me. That person had been dishonest with me and I felt used.
After taking a difficult midterm for one of my classes, I felt shame for not studying as much as I should have. I was ashamed of the results of the midterm.
A close friend of mine was leaving for graduate school out of state. I had arranged to gather some people together the day before he left to be with him and have a good time, but I didn't pay as much attention to him as I should have.
I was on this amusement park ride at Marriots Great America. It went way up in the air and then around and around. Heights are not my favorite spots in life.
I typed up a letter for this physician at work. She didn't care for my style, even though she was not using correct English. I told her it was her letter and we would do it her way.
Recently, my sister-in-law's horse was poisoned by a plant and died. The horse was very obedient and exceptional with children.
I was disgusted at the behavior of these boys I work with in the scouting program. They showed a lack of interest, unrest, and at times just plain rude behavior.
I had a test in the class and I had not adequately prepared myself. I didn't fare so well on the exam and I felt bad about it.
I was supposed to have done some things for my mother, but just plain didn't get around to it.
I was physically assaulted and sexually abused about a year ago. Just the feeling that I might not get away intact, or even alive, produced fear.
My boyfriend breaking up with me about 7 months after I had an abortion. Just the fact that he was ignoring me and continued to do so.
My nephew's mother just left one day (my brother and she were not married). My nephew, Anthony, was shaken. I was sad for him because a similar situation happened to me.
My friends and I were sitting at a restaurant. We were talking and a few of them said awful things about women. I became disgusted by their narrow-mindedness.
I tried after months to begin talking to my boyfriend again. He ignored me. I felt I had lowered my pride and became his "doormat".
I had found out that I was pregnant. I talked it over with my boyfriend and he was unsupportive - yet encouraged an abortion - I did.
My apartment has had three robberies in the last month. The guy upstairs just got robbed making it the fourth.
When my roommate's boyfriend assaulted me. He was threatening me, calling me names and pushing me around.
I was going to go on a vacation to Texas this summer but was unable to go because of registration.
I didn't do very well on a midterm and I'm disgusted with myself because I was prepared and thought I did well.
When I dated my friend's boyfriend after they had broken up.
A friend was going to come stay the weekend with me, but something came up and I cancelled out on him.
When my exboyfriend threw me around the dorms because I was talking on the phone to another guy of whom he was jealous, after we had an argument in which I thought we broke up.
When someone tried to rape one of my best friends and he claimed it was her fault. He the hassled her, claimed she was loose, and threatened to sue her.
My mother kicked my surrogate father out and he in turn did not care for the dog, Afthur, he bought for the family. His lack of concern lead tho Arthur's death on the freeway. I loved Arthur like a brother. He was easy to talk to.
I thought that the guy I had been associating with for over a year went out 2 or 3 times with a high school girl whom he claimed not to like.
The fact that I was pregnant. I was always considered level headed and did not have sex until 18 and out of high school.
I was pregnant and thought that by not having the baby I would hurt the father like he did me regardless of the life we had created.
When I walked to church with my roommate, a bum told us to call the police and he started following us.
When my roommate's moped was stolen I was very angry.
When I heard my grandfather's wife had leukemia I was very sad.
I was disgusted to find out that the water isn't filtered or purified before it leaves Latimer Hall from the drains.
The same for guilt would apply.
I added a little   ?   to a yield in an experiment to get more of a yield.
In the recent lightning storm, bolts of lightning were hitting close by (1/8 mile). I was in bed at the time and was afraid I might be struck.
We are repainting rooms in my house. My mother started to enact plans to paint my room without consulting me.
Recent break-up with my girlfriend. We had been together for over a year. I was overseas and discovered over the phone (while I was at work).
I attended a ceremony in Denmark which is comparable to our Halloween. They build a large bonfire and place a life size dummy of a witch. The crowd cheered when the dummy burst into flames.
I came home from school very keyed up. At the dinner table I unfortunately unloaded a lot of my hostility off on one of my parents. I'm ashamed that I didn't dispate and control these feelings before coming to the table or even let the energy build up in the first place.
Eating the last remains of dinner that someone else (unknown to me) had claimed.
While swimming, I hit my head at the bottom of the pool and required stitches. I later learned that the consequences could have been much more severe and that terrified me.
I was rushing home from school because there was a 49er game that night. I got into a non-injury accident, which was all my fault, but destroyed the front of my car. The truck I hit was undamaged.
When I learned that my dad had cancer. I knew he was going to the hospital for some tests. My mom told me when she picked me up one weekend from CAL to take me home.
Now that the 49ers are winners, the fans are coming out of the woodwork and jumping on the bandwagon and that disgusts me.
When I was small, I would always fight with my younger sister and one time I hit her and knocked the wind out of her. I felt real bad about it.
When my grandfather was in a nursing home when I was young I never wanted to go and sometimes didn't have to and later I felt guilty.
I felt fear when I was young and left in my big house all alone.
After I said something that my boyfriend disagreed with, he walked away from me without discussing what bothered him. I became very angry with him for treating me this way. Yesterday, November 14.
I felt sad when my boyfriend and I were apart for some time.
I felt disgusted when I was in a restaurant which didn't appear to be clean and orderly. (I do not like to be in unclean environments).
I felt ashamed when I was confronted by a teaching assistant that a close friend and I were accused of cheating on a math exam.
When I did not defend my close friend when my father degraded him. I felt guilty for allowing my father to get away with his actions and for the hurt my friend felt. I cleared the matter up with my father a few weeks later.
I got caught shoplifting a package of gummy bears.
Sometimes when I go to work my crazy boss (a hyper Jewish lawyer) insists I do things his way (filing, typing, etc.). He sometimes blames me for things I didn't do, and I can't yell back at him.
Since I moved into the dorms and I've been spending most of my free time with my boyfriend. I hardly see my old high school friends. I had several bad incidents with my 2 past best friends.
I took a psych. experiment with a totally unappealing gay man as the experimentor, some homosexuals are funny or cute, but this guy was disgusting. Plus the experiment was about gays too.
My grades. When my parents say, "How are you doing at school, getting good grades ?" I say, "Great, just fine !" Actually, I feel ashamed about myself.
I've had three midterms in the past two weeks and I hardly studied for any of them (like 1 or 2 days) I feel guilty that I hadn't studied and I got C's on all of them.
Speaking in front of a large group of people.
Same situation as before - having my car stolen.
When a close friend drowned in the American River.
Getting a low grade on my physics midterm.
Arguing with a friend over politics. She was more informed on the issues and made me feel very ashamed of my political ignorance.
When my father's car got stolen from me. (A 1966 Ford Mustang - very hard to replace).
On my second plane trip, we ran into unexpected turbulence.
Having my personal objects rearranged by someone else without my consent and having it arranged to their taste. Then trying to find a particular object they rearranged for an hour or more.
Death of my father.
Getting back my math midterm, I received a lower grade than I thought I would get. After going through the questions I felt that the grader had graded harshly and I had made only a few ? errors.
Getting a low grade on a midterm.
Promising to do a task for a friend and just forgetting about it.
I overturned in a canoe a few years back and I didn't know how to swim. Although I had a life-jacket on I still panicked.
I came out of the house at 7:20 am Monday morning getting ready t go to school and fight for a parking when I saw my car had a flat tire.
After my little sister's Graduation from High School my grandmother became very sick. She passed away a few months later.
When I saw a wino by some cans with Food Stamps and use the change to buy wine.
I felt this when I was copying homework for one of my classes.
After yelling at my girlfriend, I felt bad because she was ? crying and upset.
I'm afraid of not being able to go to the school I want because of suffering grades.
I was stood up for a date function by someone who I really cared for.
After blowing up and saying all the wrong things, I realized what I had done and hurt that person and myself.
My friends aren't working for the same common goal we all need to accomplish.
I was supposed to do something and didn't. The person was really dependiong on me.
After confronting the person who stood me up, I blew up and said all the wrong things.
That I would do bad in a class and not get into Bus school.
When my dad told me about something he had done against my mother.
When I heard my sister got in a bad car accident.
An Engineer I know wants war so he can get a job making bombs.
I did bad on a test I didn't study for.
Decided at the last minute not to do something that I said I would do with a person.
When my B.A results had not come.
When I failed my S.S.C exam.
When my sister left home to go and live with her husband.
I trusted a friend of mine, but she lied to me about something and this disgusted me.
When I failed the S.S.C examination I felt very ashamed.
[ I felt guilt when I was not co-operative with my mother for my exam.]
When I got to know that the friend I am closest to got engaged, and she was going away.  I was overjoyed for her, but also felt frightened as I was very emotionally dependent on her.  I did not know what I would do without her.
I was angry at my brother over an argument we had together.  We do have a few fights from time to time, and also at times I take out my anger on him.
When I came to know that my feelings for someone were not reciprocated.
I felt disgusted while studying for my applied psychology and mental testing papers in B.A.
I had a habit of wetting my bed when I was young.  One day, when I was invited to my friend's place to stay for the night, it happened again.  I was ashamed of myself.
I felt guilty when I lied to my parents.
A few weeks back my daughter had very high fever and I was scared that it might lead to brain damage or convulsions.
I felt angry when my mother-in-law did not handle my daughter properly and she fell down from the bed and hurt her head.
I was very sad when I could not take the M.A (I) exams due to illness, and a relative of mine disheartened me about it.
When my parents-in-law scolded me, without any reason, in front of the other members of my family for the first time.  They had called me from my room where I had been studying for my exams.
When the teacher asked me a question in class, concerning something I had read earlier, and I did not know the answer, so I felt ashamed in front of the whole class.
When my friend failed an exam by just one mark.  During this exam she had asked me to show her my answer sheet and I had not done it.  When the results came out, I thought that had I shown her my answer sheet she would have passed the exam.  I felt guilty as I had failed her.
When I decided to separate from my husband.
When my father talks about our relatives and favours them, I feel angry.
[ When my elders do not understand me in the right way.]
When my husband quarrelled with me for no reason at all.
[ I have never felt this emotion.]
[ I have never felt this emotion.]
That day I was alone at home after coming home from school.  I did not know where everyone else had gone, I kept waiting for them to come back and nobody came.  It was getting very late and I was terrified.
I was walking on a street alone in the afternoon when there were not too many people on the street.  A couple of guys were following me and I was ignoring them.  Suddenly one of them came in front of me and started using dirty language and harrassing me.  I got very angry and wanted to strike back at them.
A close friend of mine was to get married in a weeks time when her father died of a heart-attack.  I knew him well and felt bad on hearing of his death.
A girl, who is a friend of mine was having an affair with a boy who is also a friend of mine.  I got to know that this girl was also seeing another guy.  Later on, she just broke off with this friend of mine without giving any explanations.  This made him sad and depressed, and I felt disgust for this girl.
I had always been first in my class and in the preliminary board exams I scored the highest marks.  Then the exams were postponed and I neglected my studies as I was confident.  However when the final results came out I felt ashamed as I had scored less than 60% marks and my rank in the class was fifth or sixth.
I went to the cinema with my friends, without telling my mother about it as I had been to the cinema the day before also.  When she asked me where I had been, I lied.
I had gone to the hospital for my research and got late in reaching home.  I feared that when I reached home there would be a quarrel because of my being late.
[ I feel angry when somebody is unjust to me.]
[ I feel sad when somebody is unjust to me.]
When people around me did not understand me the right way.
[ I have never felt this emotion.]
[ I have never felt this emotion.]
When my brother had an epileptic attack and I was scared as to what would happen to him.
I was angry this morning when I missed the train to university.
When I missed my train this morning, I felt sad for some time.
When I had exams a relative of ours, who lives in another city,came to visit us and I felt disgusted at him.
I felt ashamed when I had not attended a class and the teacher asked me the reason for my absence.
I have done the teachers training course (B.Ed).  During our training I was asked to handle the ninth standard class in a boys school.  I was scared to face the class the first day.
I was to meet a friend at the bus-stop (he was coming to visit us) and he did not turn up.  After having waited for him for some time     (about an hour) I called him up, to be told that he did not intend to come as he was feeling tired.
When my sister died in a fire accident at home.
When my husband told me about his pre-marital affairs.
When I failed the ninth standard exam in school.
I had gone to see one of our professors about a book, and I did not  attend the class she took a few minutes later.á
[ I have always been very scared and tense before an exam and before the declaration of the results.]
When my friend promised that she would come to my place, and did not turn up - I was annoyed at her.
[ When someone tells me something that hurts me, I feel bad about it and also feel sad.]
I feel disgusted when people do not understand me in the right way, i.e they misunderstand me.
Whenever I am late, I feel ashamed of myself even though no one tells me anything.
I felt guilty when I lied to my parents.
While trying to board a train I missed the footsteps and fell down on the platform.
I was having an argument with my brother on his behavior, then we  started fighting and I got annoyed at him because he started teasing me.
My best friend got married and left her home-town to go and live in Poona.  After her wedding I felt sad.
I feel disgust at my neighbour, because she comes to our house with her child, who spoils our furniture.
When I failed the twelveth standard exams I was ashamed at having to see my parents later.
When my mother scolded me and I argued with her.
When I was coming back home alone at night.
When I failed the M.S.C exams.
When my father was ill.
When my friend who is close to me got engaged and did not invite me.
When I failed the M.S.C exam.
When I fought with my friends.
When I was 20 years old, I fell severely ill and was bed-ridden for 6 months.  I felt very scared for my health and my studies.
A few months ago when I was teaching, I suddenly became very angry at the children and slapped some of them.
My friend got married and went abroad, this made me feel sad and lonely.
When a begggar approached me for money, I felt disgusted.
When I got 1/2 out of 15 in Abnormal Psychology I felt ashamed.
Once I lied to my parents and this made me feel very guilty.
I had a very horrible dream one night, I dreamt that I had fallen off a very crowded train.
When I was at S.Y.Bajaj I wanted to get admission in another college and this was not easy and I felt angry.
When my mother scolded me for something, very insignificant, without knowing the real cause of what had happened.
I feel disgusted at my cousin, who is bad-mannered, does not know how to behave and talk to others, he does not respect elders and lies all the time.
One day in the TYBA class the teacher asked me a very simple question which I could not answer.  Finally the teacher himself gave us the answer and my friends started laughing at me as I had not been able to answer a simple question.  I knew the answer but feared that my response may be wrong.  All this made me feel ashamed of myself.
When I was taking the 11th standard exam, my friend who was sitting behind me asked me for some answers.  The teacher looked at us just then and scolded both of us.  Everyone started looking at us and I felt very guilty.
It so happened that while staying at anaunt's place I discovered that I was afraid of sleeping in pitch darkness.  The room which my sister and I were sharing had no light, and I would refuse to sleep without having the light of the adjoining bathroom switched on.
When I see people with burns I feel sad, actually I can not even express my feelings as I think that they must suffer a lot.
I do not like one of our neighbours as they are very selfish.  Whenever they want something or need help they come to see us,  otherwise they do not even bother about people who live next to them.
When some of my close friends and colleagues talk about me and my work and say that I am the brightest student of the college.
In some special circumstances l lied to my parents, then felt guilty so I told them the truth and felt free.
When for the first time I rode on a motorcycle with my brother.  He was going so fast that I felt that I would fall off without my brother realizing it.
One of my friends asked me to go shopping with her, another friend of hers was also coming along.  During the outing they kept talking to each other and I felt left out, even when I tried to talk to them they seemed not to listen to me and did not pay me much attention.
Two years ago my best friend died in an accident, just a day before my birthray.  We were very close to each other and I felt very sad at loosing a close friend.
We had gone to our native village and I went to visit a tribal group which believes in Goddess Kali.  As it was a festival day they had to offer a hen to the Goddess so they cut the head off a hen right in front of my eyes.  I felt disgusted and evenb gave up eating meat after this incident.
As part of the assessment I had to speak on a subject in front of the class. I was not really prepared and I was just reading the stuff I had on a piece of paper, when some of the students  asked me something I could not give them an answer.  I felt ashamed as I had not prepared the topic.
One day I went to see a movie without my parents permission.  It was an adult movie and I was scared that my parents would not allow me to see the movie.  However after coming home I felt very guilty at what I had done.
I was in a garden one evening and I saw a snake coming towards me.
I am separated from my husband.  The way he has behaved towards me makes me angry.
When my husband lied to me, tricked me and when I had to leave my home.
The way my husband and his family treated me - unfairly, cruelly, and unjustly.
I was ashamed at myself for having shouted at my daughter because of my marital break-up and the unfair way I was treated.
While having an argument with my daughter, I got angry and over-excited and said angry words.
I was sitting on an electric swing, suddenly the machine went out of order while I was still in the upward position.
A girl whom I trusted and with whom I had shared personal, confidential matters twisted the facts and told it to a common friend of ours.  When this common friend told me the version my friend had told her, I was angry.
When my elder sister died.
My husband falls ill and does not follow the doctor's advice on the treatment or the diet control.
Every time I do not write something well in English.
When I could neither measure up to the expectations of the teacher nor to my own expectations in one of the assignments.
[ No response.]
One morning I was standing at the bus-stop and the bus passed by without stopping, even though there were only 8-10 passengers inside.  I felt angry at the rude behaviour of the bus driver and  conductor.
At the death of my friend's father and especially as this happened ten days before her wedding.
I was disgusted at the existing red-tape in the government offices.  I accquired my passport three months after having applied for it and I had to go back five times to them to correct a minor error.
When I could not pass my exams with good marks.  My wedding was to take place 15 days after the exams and I tried to convince myself that this was the reason for my not having done well.   However, I thought that had I really put my mind to doing well at the exams I would have done well.
[ No response.]
When I had to travel alone, unescorted for the first time.     It was an over-night journey by train to a distant place.
I was not given a chance to explain to my close relatives as to why I could not go to visit them when they were ill.  When I did go, they thought that I had been selfish and irresponsible duringtheir illness.
I put in two years of hard work and it was neither looked at nor appreciated.
Despite my being affectionate, sincere, and helpful to close  relatives of mine; they turned around and accused me of being inconsiderate in my relationship with them.
The first time that I had to go up on the stage to give a speech.
I could not take care of my mother when she was admitted to a hospital  for surgery, I continued my studies as I could not get leave.
I was coming home from a relative's place and it was about 9.30/10 P.M.  I felt slightly apprehensive when I got off the bus and started walking towards my place.  I was confident that nothing would happen to me, yet there was this slight feeling of fear.
Uncleaniness at my work place.  The place is generally not very clean, but when it reaches a point, I get angry at the person who is supposed to clean the place and the people who are supposed to supervise him.
Three weeks ago a friend of mine bid me good-bye before going abroad.  I felt happy for her as she was achieving something by making the trip, but I also felt sad as I would not be seeing her for a long time.
When we complained about the uncleanliness of the work place, the authorities agreed to have the place cleaned.  Even after 2-3 days nothing had been done.  I felt disgusted at the whole situation.
I got into a tight pair of trousers and examined myself in the mirror.  My back looked unpresentable and I felt ashamed at my wanting to wear those clothes that day.  I quickly changed into another dress.
When I do not put in the needed amount of hours of work or study for the day, I feel guilty and try to make up for the lost time.
I experienced fear when I was not prepared for the final year degree exams.
When the others did not do their bit of work on a group assignment task, and I had to do all the work.
After having been ill, when I was coming back to the hostel, I felt very sad leaving home.
When my friend got very low marks in field work even though he had worked throughout the year, I had this feeling.
I felt ashamed when I fought with my mother on some issue, and caused her trouble.
I had enough time to do my assignment, and I did not do it well.  When the lecturer scolded me, I had this feeling.
When I almost walked on a snake.
When I was insulted by a man.
When my mother left for Kenya.
[ When I see that the toilet is unclean.]
When my co-resident opened the bathroom door while I was bathing inside.
When I could not complete my assignment on time.
[ No response.]
When I was blamed for some of my attributes which are very often misunderstood, especially when one is very frank.
When my sister lost her only son, who was sixteen years old.  I felt very bad about it as this was the first death in my family and then I learned slowly to understand to life.
When I was in a Christian institution, sometimes the nuns would send back the people who came to visit us when it was not the visiting hours.  This disgusted me.
[ No response.]
Once I was not able to give a relative, who was in a critical period, a helping hand.  Whenever I think about it I feel guilty  for letting down the person who trusted me to give him a helping hand.
When I was working in Delhi, I had gone alone to see the hostel where I would be residing.
When a relative, who had come to our place, created untidyness and dirtyness.
When I had to leave home to go to some other place to study.
When I went to visit a relative and saw how messy and dirty his place was, in the absence of his wife.
When I broke-down while seeing off my friend.
[ The day I have not worked (academic) hard enough.]
Once when I was walking alone at mid-night, I happened to put my foot on a frog, as it felt smooth I thought that it was a snake  and I felt afraid. á
My friend and I were to attend a very important meeting and he had promised to come and pick me up.  But he did not turn up and I felt very angry at him.
I was really hoping that I would pass the examination, but I failed and so I felt very sad.
[ I feel disgusted at people who talk negatively about a person without knowing the person well.]
[ I have felt shame but am unable to remember any particular incident.]
[ Whenever I do something prohibited or wrong I feel guilty.]
When my son fell off the cot at the age of 5 months, I became very nervous and thought that it would cause defects in his head.
I was very angry one day when my husband ignored me and slept      on a separate bed.  He had no reasons to doubt me or to neglect me and I had never imagined that he could do such a thing.
When I heard the news of the death of my father.  It was in the evening and I was alone all night in my room trying to remember the face of my father.
One day my colleague misbehaved with me.  I felt disgusted and thought to myself that he could only do this because I was a woman.
One day I addressed my husband in an abusive manner in front of his friends.  Later on I realized this myself and felt ashamed of myself.
My mother misunderstood me and prevented me from doing something.  In return I did not talk to her for a few days, only later on I realized that what she had done had been for my good.
I felt afraid just before receiving the question paper of the part II exam.
I remember that when I was in school I saw a case of partiality - one of the teachers gave private coaching classes to some girls and she would give these girls extra attention in class and would ignore the others.
On the last day of my school life I was very sad, specially on the farewell party day.  I felt sad to leave behind my beloved teachers and friends.
I was most disgusted when I had to make a nagging three day journey recently from Calcutta to Bombay.  It was very boring and tiring.
I remember that once, a friend did not co-operate with me due to some unavoidable reasons.  Unaware of this I treated her unjustly till I realized everything, and then I felt ashamad of my deeds.
I did badly in one of the vital exams, despite getting proper guidance from my parents.  I felt guilty of improper use of the chances provided to me.
[ I do not recall one here either.]
[ This emotion has never been an intense one, that makes it difficult to recall it.]
When my honest intentions were marred by another's jealousy.
[ The previous incident holds good here also.]
[ ....has not really happened.]
When an event took place in another's life and which I thought I could have avoided.
Fear is an emotion that I experience very often.  Naturally this is during exams and subsequently while waiting for the results.  However there is one occassion when I was paralyzed with fear.  This was when I was doing my M.A.-I, and we had a series of student lectures.  I was one of the participants and my lecture happened to be the opening lecture.  I had been confident all morning, about twenty minutes before the lecture, my confidence started failing me.  I felt my heart go cold, my lips go dry and I was really paralyzed.  This incident of fear is still fresh.
I experience this emotion quite often but the day I was most angry was the day I got pulled up for something I had not done.  It happened during my school days, I had not spoken a word in class but the monitor had written my name on the board.  So I had a remark in my callender which I had to get signed by my parents.  This remark resulted in me being spanked.
I have once been very sad and lonely.  This was when I was trying to organize a play as a student (15 years).  Instead of materializing, it fizzled out.  The worst thing was that the play fell apart completely and I found myself weeping uncontrollably.  Now when I think of it, I laugh it off; but at that time it was intense.
This is an incident that many of us witness in our everyday life in a city like Bombay.  One day I was travelling by bus, three men dragged two fellows out of the bus.  Once outside they were beaten into pulp.  These two fellows, who got beaten, were pick-pockets and they were being beaten by all and sundry.  I thought to myself -"what is life?".  It is one hell of a place where everyone is after someone else.  One waits to cut the throat of the other one just for a living, (money).  When I think about such things - the purpose of life, etc, I feel very disgusted and dejected.
This is an event I will never forget.  I am considered a good mimic.  This particular day we were waiting for a professor to take her class.  This  professor had a peculiar accent and a very horrible way of lecturing and to top it all we had this class at the fag end of the day.  So this particular day I got into my element and started imitating the professor, and the professor entered the class right in the middle of it .  I was unaware of her presence, some of my friends tried to warn me but it was of no avail as I was too engrossed in mimicing.  Then I suddenly noticed the silence and turned around to see her entering the class.  I do not know till today if she actually saw what I had been doing or she had completely ignored it.  Through  out that lecture I died of shame.  All the more shameful was the fact that she gave me a character certificate.
[ No response.]
This was when I was being followed home every day from the campus, by a stranger.  He would follow me to the campus and then sit outside my class.  If I was not there he would ask my friends as to where I was.  He was a dark, ominous looking person and I was terrified of him as I did not know his intentions.  I reported him to the security officer, who turned him over to the police.  I was even more petrified then.
A new gas connection was to be installed and the mechanic who came to do it was very rude to my mother and me.  I rushed to thhe dealer with my mother and had a fight with the dealer as he seemed to be unreasonable and was taking the mechanic's side.  Ultimately the matter was resolved after my father went and spoke to him.  The mechanic was asked to apologize.
The day I was to receive my gold-medal for the M.A, my grandmother, who I loved very much, died after an illness.  She  died a few hours before the convocation.  While I was attending the convocation I had to control my grief as she would not have liked me to miss it.  It was a day she had been waiting for, but did not get to see.
We had come back from a programme and we were all (three girls)    staying over at another girls placce.  One of them started passing very nasty and outright bitchy remarks at me.  It was brought on by a male colleague's compliments to me, this girl was herself interested in this guy.  Bitchiness and catty remarks made by women never fail to disgust me.  I can particularly remember this incident as she knew that I had not encouraged the  guy.
I was learning judo and my instructor wanted me to assist him in teaching girls judo at a suburban college.  I was just a beginer, and he made me a green belt so that I would be able to command respect.  This was against my principles, and yet I allowed myself to listen to him.  I gave it up soon after, however I felt very ashamed at not sticking to my principles and at not having put my foot down earlier.
I was coming back home with my mother when the purse I was carrying got stolen.  It was done so swifty that I did not realize what had happened till much later.  A lot of money and the keys of the house were lost.  I was guilt ridden at my carelessness.  I felt terrible as I do not normally loose things and this was quite important, especially the keys.á
When I had gone to a school picnic and was left behind in the forest.
When I saw a few people beating a man who seemed to be a stranger.
When India lost the Benson and Hedges cricket trophy.
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
When I was responsible for getting my friend run-out in a vital cricket match.
As a child, one evening I had read a novel about ghosts and I had thus spent a sleepless night as I kept feeling that there were ghosts dancing around me.
Despite our good performance and excellent results the management refused to meet our demands.
When my beloved girlfriend got married to another person.
When I heard that a 14 years old girl had been raped by four rikshaw drivers in our town.
I feel ashamed at the fact that even after 35 years of independence   70% of the Indian poulation is still below the poverty line.
I read about the national and social spirit and self-discipline of the people of developed coutries like U.S.A, England, France, Germany etc.  Comparing this to the Indian people I felt guilty as they have no national spirit or self-discipline.
One day, early morning my mother who is healthy fell ill.  There was no doctor or compounder near by and for a few hours -8 A.M to 6 P.M she did not speak a single sentence, nor did she drink water or  milk.  There was no movement in her body and I felt really scared.  I almost lost my confidence about her survival.
One day my elder brother badly scolded my father.  This was the first time that I heard such abusive language from my brother.  I requested him humbly not to use this kind of language but he did not care for what I was saying.  Finally I picked up an axe to use against him, in the meanwhile people intervened.
My close friend and I applied to TISS for admission last year, unfortunately he failed to get admission.  We had done our graduation together and are quite involved with each other, so we had wanted to do our Masters degree together.  However, it did not work out as we had expected it to and this saddened me.
My classmate at TISS has the habit of biting his nails and ever since my childhood I have never liked this habit.  This person is near me in class, dining hall and the campus so I suggested that he should stop biting his nails.  However he found it difficult and my disgust feelings have not changed.
I had this feeling before my graduation and never dared to speak to my relatives and  friends.  Because of this feeling I would avoid situations, however I do not know the reason for this.
One day my mother forced me to eat more and I refused, the next day she served me more rice and mutton pieces than usual.  When I saw this I got very angry and scolded her, and refused to eat.  Later I felt guilty and asked her to excuse me.
When I was in my village one of my enemies had written a non-sense letter to a girl and he told the father of this girl that I was the culprit.  When I got to know this I was scared as  the girl's father was a worse man.
When I was doing research a few months ago, I had asked the Institute to sponsor me for a computer course which was held in TISS.  However, because of the administrative officer I could not get the money.
When I was in Bombay one of my good friends was getting married and he had not informed me about it, this made me sad.
I once got a phone call stating "one of your friend is in jail, please come and see him".  When I went to the jail and saw him, I was disgusted.
Some time back I had signed a letter which I had not read.  What had happened is that something had been written against my friend and this went to the higher authorities.  My friend asked me  -"you also signed ?"
One of my friends came to know through some other friends that I   had applied for some course in an institute.  He asked me "why did not you tell me, I would also have applied."  At that I felt guilty.
[ I have not felt this emotion yet.]
[ On discovering the red-tapism and the bureaucratic, corrupt, decadent, degenerated infrastucture of every public utility, office and service; and the rampant corruption at every single level of education and other institutions.]
The death of Jaya Prakash Narayan caused a great deal of sadness as I believed that he was the only true democrat and a ray of hope on the Indian horizon.
[ This is an everyday feeling.  Many situational events : causes are unclean and dirty environment, illiteracy, poverty and neglect of human resources, disgust at the lack of perception on the part of us ( educated few) for the lack of drive and drive towards their redemption. ]
When I realized that I belonged to a country which is amongst the poorest in the world and that inspite of having the resources we do not utilize them.  I was ashamed at myself and my country, shame at the lack of parity between the lifestyles of the citizens.
When I realized that I was not working hard enough and was not being useful as an individual to the society or the family, guilt at spending money on uncalled for activities - in short wasting my life.
I was scared when I realized that I might miss the train which I was supposed to take.  I was 1500 Kilometres away from home and when  I heard the depart whistle I was still 150 feet away from the train.  I finally made it.
I felt angry when repeated pleas to the ticket collector and the co-passengers in order to make a queue fell on deaf ears.  I have this feeling whenever someone is not disciplined and methodic in doing his duty.
I am filled with gloom and sadness at the death of a person.  More specifically, I felt sad after hearing the news of a death of a person who was hale and hearty and full of life, withvigour and plans for the next day but had no next day to cherish it.
I feel disgusted since I am unable to cope with all the wordly affairs as I spend much precious time to pursue my hobby and to be admist the people I love and long to be with.
I always feel ashamed when I do not succeed in accomplishing something in which I had put in all my efforts.
At times I have been attracted to conducts which are socially degraded due to their ill consequences, and then I feel guilty.
I was then in the 10th standard and was going to my native place.  The last bus had already left and so I started walking, it soon became quite dark.  The road was a village road and was deserted, I was not even sure if that was the right way.  I finally reached home at 10 P.M.
I was travelling from Delhi to Bombay.  I had booked a seat one month back and I had also got a telegram confirming this.  However, in the train my name had been omitted from the reservation sheet, and the one seat that was still vacant was alloted to another person who paid for it despite my requests for the seat.  I was allowed to stay in the reserved compartment when I paid money.
The news of the natural calamity, an earthquake in which hundreds  of Mexican people died.
In Punjab, when in the name of religion people killed each other during the agitation.
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
One of my fellow students had bunked field work and in my attempt to cover up for him I myself was exposed, though not directly.  We were to meet our field work suprevisor and we were afraid of the consequences.
I had made an error in planning a programme and had publicly accepted the mistake, despite repeated requests not to bring the matter for discussion a professor kept constantly passing remarks. I reacted angrily.á
I was in love with a girl but had to separate from her because of different commitments concerning life and career.  I loved her as a person but could not agree with the life the future would demand.  Parting from her was very sad.
Students on campus were unnecessarily creating trouble just to heckle the authorities - not to achieve something concrete, but to further their own interest.
I had reacted angrily at a friend for no fault of his.  I had raised my voice and had not cared for his opinion.
I had promised to send something to a friend and it completely slipped my mind.  I felt guilty for having forgotten.
A few weeks back I had a very important seminar and I had circulated my papers to all the panel members.  A day before the seminar I realized that I had inadvertantly burdened certain       derivations and I had failed to correct it.  I feared that this    would reflect very badly on my performance.  Fortunately none of  the panel members detected it and I felt relieved.
A few days back a friend of mine poked me in the ribs for fun's sake, though I had warned him an infinite number of times that it really hurts me, he did it again.  I usually ignore this but this time I flared up for a split second and threatened to bash him up.  This is the latest incident when I lost my temper, though I felt very bad about it later.
The saddest moment in my life was when I lost my younger sister a few years back.
Yesterday, I was just about to cross the road when a country guy who was ahead of me spat out a mouthful of betel juice on the road.  It was very windy and had I not checked my speed I would have had a very good shower of his saliva.  Though I was not angry, I felt that these people were very indecent.
Yesterday while playing volley ball, there was one person extra    and somebody had to out.  A mess worker and I were the  last ones to arrive and we had arrived at the same time.  Rightfully one of us had to opt out of the game, as I was delaying leaving the mess worker opted out saying that I should play.  I felt ashamed of myself.
A few days back a friend of mine had asked me to call on him on Sunday.  I had accepted it but later did not go for no specific   reason.  I just slept in my room.  The next day this friend called  me up and told me that he had been expecting me the day before and his wife had prepared a very good lunch for me, which had gone waste.  I felt very bad about this incident and it has been growing in my heart ever since.
Before the declaration of the S.S.C results.
When I was punished in school for no serious mistake of mine.
When I received the S.Y.J.C results, the marks I obtained were not up to my expectations and I missed admission in engineering.
When I could not attend the college picnic due to some difficulties.
When I was detained one day in school, by the vice-principal, for indiscipline.
One day at school I had quarrelled with a school-mate, and ultimately I had hit him hard.  He, being physically weak had to visit his doctor and remain absent from school for two days.
At the age of 16 I had gone to see a film in a nearby village, about 8 kms  from my home.  I started walking as there was no bus.  I had to cross hills and as it was dark I could not identify the path.  Half way through it started raining and as there was no shelter I ran four kms to reach home.
One day my room-mate started imitating me, doing what I had done a few hours back.  I got very angry and started beating him up.
A few months a close relative of mine died.  I had never expected this to happen and was sad for a few months.
One day, at an important place I met a group of girls and while we were waiting for a bus these girls started smoking and commanded me to smoke; I felt very disgusted.
A few months back I had gone to my friend's place and they offered me tea and coffee.  I do not have the habit of drinking tea or coffee and so they offered me a glass of milk instead, so I felt ashamed.
At my native place I was riding my cycle, which did not have lights, at night and so a police man caught me.  I requested him to let me go but he would not so after a few minutes I just escaped.
[ Never experienced.]
This was the worst incident of my hostel life.  I was insulted by a close friend of mine on the eve of the New year and it totally spoiled my New year's night.
[ When I feel that I have made a mistake.]
[ Never experienced.]
[ Never experienced.]
[ Never experienced.]
I received a letter from my college telling me that I would not be allowed to sit for the exams because of my low attendance in class and the bad experience in the terminal exams.
Once a friend had pushed me and I had fallen on to a window which then broke.  I was taken to tthe principal's office and he accused me of having broken the window.
When I received my S.Y.J.C results which did not allow me to get   admission in engineering.
Once when I was studying for my examination, I was asked to do some work which was unavoidable.
My teacher asked me a question which I failed to answer and I was told to stay behind after the class and give the answer after studying it from a book.
During class one day I walked out of the class.  The teacher noticed it and decided that he would take some action against me, when I realized this I approached him and told him that I was sorry for the incident and would not repeat it.
My illness a few years back.  I was sevely down with malaria and asthma, I had lost my health, charm and cheerfulness completely.
During the short period of my unemployment about six years back.
My father's death in January 1983 moved me deeply.  The gloom prevailed for almost two years and I am still to recover from it.
[ No response.]
When I was 12 years old I was caught by the Ticket Collector when travelling without a ticket.
A few lies that I had indulged in, a few years ago, while raising loans from my friends.
When I did not get admission in M.Sc after my B.Sc, I felt really bad.  When I started my journey to Bombay, after having accepted my uncle's offer to come to Bombay, I was afraid, wondering if I  would succeed or not.
When I was dancing with a dame at a social, one of my friends who  was interested in her came and took her away from me.  I was really angry with him then.
When a close friend, residing in the hostel, lost his father I really pittied him and the situation made me feel sad.
After my +2, when I did not get admission in B.E I felt disgusted.
When I was in the 12th standard, I could not speak English.  One day, while  talking with my relatives I used a wrong word and  my cousin corrected me, believing that I did not know English.  I really felt ashamed then.á
When I got low marks in the final year B.Sc exams, I felt guilty as I had not worked hard because I had been roaming around with my  friends.
Once I was very frightened at night as I had a very fearful and terrifying dream, I could not go back to sleep for a long time.
Once I had an argument with my friends and I knew that I was right.  My friends went on arguing with me even though they did not know the right thing.
[ No response.]
My elder sister forced me to do a few things which I did not like to do.
Once I had torn a few pages off a library book and I felt ashamed at this.
[ No response.]
After I was thrown out of a car in an accident, this resulted in a fracture.
[ During my childhood when I could not get what I wanted from my brother/sister and parents.]
I felt disgusted when I was in a helpless position at the loss of my fiancee.
The day my fiancee told me that it was bad that I could not write my mother tongue.
I felt guilty when I thought that I was still not standing on my own feet.
[ Never.]
[ Ther are many instances which are all equally irritating.]
When a girl did not answer a question, concerning my love for her, put forward to her.
[ There have been very few instances of disgust, as far as I can remember they are not important or worth mentioning.]
[ I was not, I am not, I will never ever feel ashamed of myself for something I have done.]
[ Never felt guilty, as I have never done anything which could make me feel guilty.]
I was travelling in a bus from school going home for holiday. In the bus unfortunately I stepped on a bag in which there were delicate things.
On May 20th I got a summon to appear in court on May 28th 1985 on the subject of impregnanting a school girl. I really feared of standing in the court in a few days time after this notice. I was also embarassed due to formal approach that was expected of me to the Principal.
Sometime ago I felt very angry when my mother wrote me telling me that my elder sister was messing up things at home by her internalised aggressive attitude towards parents and her husband.
I felt very sad when I was in Form three to notice that my friend Barley Jumbe, had lost very expensive new sports short trousers.
Four weeks ago I felt very much touched to find an asciatic patient who had asked the very morning to be tapped of the fluid, dying in the evening. I was really disgusted because this was the Medical staff's negligence. Had the Clinical officers done something that very morning he might have been alive today.
Truely, I got very ashamed when my brother was sent out of Business Machines Limited Company due to improper handling of the office equipment in Sales Services.
Guilt conscious struck me when I failed my Standard Two Examinations in 1972. I knew that I would suffer the consequences of what I had been doing during class hours: thus playing with friends and sometimes not even going to school.
I had a cousin whom I loved so much. Unfortunately she passed away suddenly and one time I had a dream in which I was talking to her yet she is dead.
Somebody wanted to beat my brother at a wedding ceremony and I was trying to protect my brother but the other man was calling names to both of us.
I never failed my examinations since Standard 1 but I experienced sad moments when I sat for Standard 8 Examination and I was not selected for Secondary School education in 1978.
I had experienced odd moments one time when a patient came into the Ward in which I was working. The patient was badly burnt in the right side of her body. I was very nervous at the sight.
When I was young I was playing football near my parent's house and while playing I fell on the ground. At first I thought I was not seen by anybody, but when my mother laughed I felt very ashamed.
I had been on friendship with a certain girl for sometime and the love was going on well, but it happened that I made the friendship come to an end suddenly without good reasons.
I once felt that my last hour had come when I was unexpectedly found in the hands of.
It happened that my brother promised to give me money for school and then he told me that he had failed to fulfil his promise a day before school started. I became so angry for I thought my future would be ruined.
I was all of the sudden sad when I heard that my cousin who usually paid school fees had passed away after a very short illness.
The first day I visited the hospital I was disgusted because I experienced offensive smell which I never expected. I nearly ran away from the course.
I once felt shame when I failed to fulfil the promise to marry a daughter of a certain gentleman.
I felt guilty when I was robbed of a friend's radio at Lilongwe bus depot after promising that I would keep it safe.
When I heard a rumour that the 1st year exam results were out. I had fear that I might be one of the failures.
Somebody was blaming me of a story which was not real and not true.
Death of my grnadfather after having been in hospital for so long with cancer of the Oesophagus.
When mum had beaten my young sister just because she had received a letter from a boyfriend.
When I had not done well in Geography at my MCE I was expected to get more than I did.
When a patient had died soon after I had told the guardian to wait outside the ward.
When I was feeding a premature baby (7 months), the baby chocked. This was when I was working in children's ward I thought I had killed the baby.
We were just about to go into the Exam room and I didn't see all my writing materials plus the identification card from the place where I left them.
When my boyfriend did not turn up in time as he promised he would be coming.
The time when I cleaned the house and everything was tidy, then my cousin, who is 4 years old, came with a muddy pot and made a mess of the whole thing.
Bad temper of the serving lady in the students' dining hall.
Teacher suspected me stealing money.
Failed to do what I had promised.
Staying in the room alone at night.
An old lady slipped and nobody helped her.
A friend's mother died.
Saw a dirty street.
Not collecting homeworks in time to give the teacher.
Not helping other people to do their homework.
My friend started to misunderstand and hurt me.
Insulted by disgusting people.
My friend was badly hurt.
Someone not responding to my criticism.
Swearing in public.
Hurt someone's feelings unintentionally.
Before an examn.
My class leader told me I am not chosen for your English lectures.
Finding out that the university will give first priority to qualified practioners and clinical years to go to your English lectures.
Finding out that old and useless practitioners of retirement age will go to your English lectures and they do not understand English.
China cannot give your lectures bigger place and sound system.
I am not good enough for your experiment I am doing.
Almost had a bicycle accident.
People not cueing in the dining hall.
Failed an examn.
Saw a real party leader.
Failed to recagnize a friend on the street.
Forgot to collect post for a friend.
You may find out that I am stupid and not to let me do your experiment.
A classmate told me I must have bribed the class leader to let me go to your English lecture.
I was not chosen for the All English class.
Saw my class leader acting like a God when he chose people to go to your English lectures.
Talking to friends about how old you are and we cannot be as successful as you at your age.
Telling friends about your nickname.
Before the examn.
Insulted by some stupid people.
Lost a friend.
Hear people talking at my back.
Saw something stupid and ignorant happening in the countryside.
I was very scared when I went to the examination hall for my M.Sc examination as I had studied a limited partion of the course thoroughly and I was in great doubt whether that would be asked.
I was most angry when India lost the Triangular Cricket trophy held in Australia.  I was so angry that I fought (orally) with my friend.
I was very sad  when I got the XIIth standard results, when I got low marks as compared to my friend and I could not get admission to courses like medicine.
I was disgusted at myself when I dropped a vital catch, while playing a cricket match, and we lost the match; though the catch was difficult.
There is one thing which makes me feel shameful,  when I see friends of my age group working and earning a lot, when I am still studying.  A friend I met a week ago after a period of 5 years is earning more than Rs 3000/ month.
I felt guilty when I read an advertisement for a job as a chemist in the newspaper and when my friend asked me if I had applied for that job, I told him that I had not even seen the paper of that day.
I was very scared at the time of the Ty.B.Sc examination as I had decided to get 1st class results.  I was afraid thinking of how the papers would be.
When my neighbours accused my brother of stealing their rose-bush, I was very angry as he had not touched it at all.
When I heard that my girlfriend was getting married to another person, I felt very sad.  That day I did not eat anything and kept thinking of her all day long.
[ No response.]
When I had insulted my father two years back, at that time I was very angry due to some reasons.
I felt very guilty when I tried to teach swimming to my younger brother, as I myself could not swim very well and my brother had started sinking to the bottom, however my elder brother saved him.
It was the time when I was in no position to secure a Ist class in the M.Sc exam and this was likely to affect my career.
I missed an opportunity to go abroad because of some silly mistakes for which I had to suffer a lot.
It was at the time of my M.Sc exam, when I was not in a position to take the exam after having studied seriously.
When I opted for my research field, for them the percentage of marks was more important than my knowledge.
When I was not in a position to control myself.  I had said too much and had been cruel with no other than my mother.
Two days after the above incident, I was thinking about my morally shameful act and I felt sorry for that incident, but it was too late, however I did realize this.
When I did not get the compound which is known.
When I got low marks in B.Sc final.
When my first love was not successful.
[ When mix was coming from column for several days.]
When I had been angry at my friend without any reason.
When I forced a close friend of mine to ask a girl things about herself.
When I was a kid, I always opened the door to greet my father when he came back from work.  One day it so happened that his hair was scattered due to over-crowding in the train, and when I opened the door as usual I saw something else.  I was so scared that I could not talk.
This also happened when I was very small.  I was beaten up by my  mother for no fault of mine, I had just beaten up my younger brother for what I thought was his fault.  I was very angry with my mother.
After studying a lot for my H.S.C exams, I could not make it to the medical stream and I felt sad about this.
[ Honestly, I have never felt disgust at any situation in my life.]
[ Sorry, I was never ashamed about anything in my life.]
[ I can positively say that I have never done anything that made me feel guilty.]
When I came to know that my exams were on two successive days and that there was very little time (about 9-10 hours) to study in between.
I was very angry when my friend lost my practical's journal, which I needed to study for the exams.
I was very sad when I did not get admission in the English college, as I had 1% less marks than they wanted.
I was disgusted when our cricket team manager dropped me from the team.
I was ashamed at myself when I saw that the other boys and girls   of my age earn a lot of money by doing very good and hard work.
I felt very guilty when a student, sitting in front of me in the exam, asked me a few questions and I did not show him the answers,  though I knew them.á
When I was going to take the practical exams.
When I was teased by my friend for not scoring good marks in the exams.
When I was ditched by my girlfriend.
When I lost the notes of the lecturer I had borrowed from my friend.
When I was teasing a girl, who turned out to be my brother's dame.
When I was bluffing in front of my mother to get more money.
My brother lost his temper and started smashing things in the house.  I was quite scared, that something terrible might happen, till the situation was brought under control.
I wanted to go to Bhopal for relief work (gas tragedy).  My boss simply refused to let me go, I was so angry that the only thought that came to my mind was to quit the job.
A friend of mine was hospitalized after having been diagnosed as having typhoid, he had to forgo his exams and also his ambition of doing a dissertation at the M.A level.  It was a very sad event for me and I felt very sorry for him so I volunteered to stay with him in the hospital.
There was a family fight in my house some time back.  My uncle had given me a watch as a present and I lost it.  During the fight he accused me of having sold the watch.  I was disgusted at his false accusations.
I had written a "love-letter" to a class-mate of mine, this was meant to be a joke.  Unfortunately it fell in the wrong hands  and I had to face the consequences.
My friend had written a letter to me, the contents of which I misunderstood and I wrote back a very harsh letter to her.  On realizing the blunder I had made, I felt like hiding my face in the sand.
While I was pushing a court roller out of a ditch, I slipped and fell down and the roller rolled back towards me -down slope-It is a miracle that I still have my legs intact.
I was the compere at a party and all my efforts to get the show rolling were thwarted by the immobile, non co-operative guests.  I felt frustation - bordering on anger.
[ No response.]
A railways officer, when asked by the ticket checker to produce his tickets, got very aggressive and started abusing and using his authority in a very wrong way.
[ I am quite shameless, not applicable.]
[ Not applicable.]
When I was treated improperly by someone.
[ When bad and disgusting language is uttered by people, or when someone tries to show what is beyond his own capacities.]
[ I missed my twin when I was on the verge of being thrown, which I disliked.]
When Kanishka was blown up, I really felt disgusted at people killing each other.
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
When my mother met with a serious accident and there was danger that she would not survive and if she did she would loose her memory.
When an acquaintance of mine beat up another person for no just reason, and thus showed off his power.
When a friend of mine died in a hiking accident.  I was not present there and only got the news later.
[ Do not remember any incident.]
[ Do not remember any incident.]
[ Do not remember any incident.]
I felt the above condition when I took my brother's bicycle to a market and unfortunately the bicycle was stolen and I didn't know how I could tell the owner about the stolen bicycle.
I felt angry when my only pair of trousers was stolen and could not be able to find out who the thief was or anyone who knew about the story.
I felt sad when my dear friend was needed from training school due to his failure in a number of subjects and simply didn't know what he had to do.
I felt the emotion when I entered a certain ward in the hospital to visit my relative who was sick.
I felt the above condition when I was found in a house playing with another man's wife where I was asked questions and I was unable to answer.
I felt the emotion when I fought somebody who was drunk and tried to disturb us while we were having meals.
I was living with my brother and one day he went away on business and I was left alone to look after the house and the property. At night thieves came and wanted to break into the house.
My young brother took my wristwatch in my abscence and sold it to his friend at a cheaper price.
I had a girlfriend who lived several kilometers away from my home. One day she wrote me that she'd visit me. On her way she had a car accident and was badly injured. I was very sorry to see her lying in a bed in the hospital.
One of my best friends was found lying flat on the road because he was drunk and was taken by the police and put in a cell. I went to see him the following morning, the place was really a mess and was smelling badly. I didn't like it.
It was my father's birthday party when I was asked to bring a tray of tea and other drinks.
One day I took my playmates to the river to swim and play. One of them was epileptic so he drowned into the water. I felt guilty because it was me who took them there.
I was moving in the graveyard at 6.00 pm one day and was griped by fear because I was told that ghosts detain people moving there at night.
There is a mad boy in our village. This boy hit me with a raw paw-paw in the face.
It was last September when I felt very sad. It was when I heard that I was not selected to study in the University of Malawi.
In Ward 1A was an epileptic patient who was burnt the whole body and was stinking very much such that the whole ward was affected. Few people could come near him.
An out-patient asked me to read for him a certain prescription but I was unable to do so. The patient was dissappointed and lost hope in me.
It is some years ago when my mother found me stealing relish in the pot. It was fresh fish which was very appetising.
In March I was busy studying during the night I could only sleep two or three hours only for fear that I would be weeded and sent back.
I once caught a letter in my girlfriend's handbag from a certain man. I felt anger.
I was once nominated as an Officer Cadet in the Armed Forces and my name was cancelled on the list of nominees of those who were sent to Kenya for Training.
The time I went to see one of my girlfriends at Area 18 I found that she was not there but in the room she was sleeping, in the same room there were some women visitors with children so the room was smelling very badly with some faeces and urine in it so I didn't stay any longer.
It was last week on Sunday that I was walking with my girlfriend along Kawale road going to town so I tried to stop a car for a lift and the driver didn't stop and I felt shame because people were looking at us.
I was once called in court in Zemba Traditional court to answer a charge of impregnanting a young lady, I felt guilty for she had some letters which I used to write her as an exhibit in court.
When I saw a dead body in the mortuary I became afraid and I was filled with fear.
A certain Area Party Secretary came home in the morning and said we had to leave our home and build somewhere and the reason being that they wanted to establish a market. The Chairman knew nothing about it and was very angry.
I was so sad when I heard that my Uncle had passed away. He was the only man who was supporting my parents as well as myself.
I was disgusted with my girlfriend's behaviour. She was going out with other boys who were also my friends.
It was a shameful moment when I heard that I had failed my Primary School leaving Certificate Exam in 1978. My girlfriend was there when the news was released.
I took Pharmacology books from my friend's desk without permission and I was found guilty.
I broke my Uncle's Radio player accidentally and so I feared that he was going to cut me off from going to his house as well as playing it again.
It was in March 1985 when one of my fellow students borrowed my wristwatch and after sometime he broke a glass of that watch I got angry when he was telling me but the anger didn't take long to fade.
When I was about to write my Junior Certificate Exams, I received sad news telling me that my elder sister had passed away.
I was disgusted with the behaviour of one of my fellow students during my Secondary School life. He was a habitual noise-maker and caused great conflicts with the teachers.
I remember when I was in Standard 6, I failed one of the terminal tests and I told my parents that I had passed but after they found out from the class teacher that I had failed, I was proved a liar.
Sometime back I came across a certain man who was badly beaten by some people because he was found raping the wife of the village headman.
The emotion came when I misbehaved at school and the Principal threatened me that I was going to be expelled.
The emotion came when a certain boy opened my locker without my knowledge.
The sadness came to me when I heard that my girlfriend whom I loved so much got married to another man before a rebuff from her.
The emotion came to me when a certain girl who was not polite to her mother hit her sister severely.
The shame came when I was beaten by my teacher at school in front of boys and girls some of whom were my friends and a girlfriend apart from being classmates.
It was when I discovered that the girl who I had proposed was a friend's girlfriend.
When I was told to attend an operation in theatre.
This situation happened when my friend John ate my banana which I kept in the cupboard.
When I was told that my father had passed away.
This situation occurred when I entered into a smelling ward.
This situation happened when I was found kissing a girl who was my friend's girlfriend.
This situation happened when my friend me with a knife which I stole from him.
At night when I was coming from Lingadzi Inn I heard a hyena crying in the Lingadzi jungle. I was alone.
I felt angry when I was told that I had not been selected to go to the University.
I felt sad when I was told to walk out of the classroom because I was within the row of students who were making noise.
I felt disgusted when a certain lady spoke words of sarcasm when I was trying to propose to her.
When I broke a tea saucer. I felt ashamed. This was during the birthday of my girlfriend.
I felt guilty when I was given a prize which belonged to someone else.
I was given a wristwatch by my first girl and after two days another girl of mine also gave me a wristwatch.
My girlfriend mentioned a certain girl's name who was my girl some time back and she is no longer mine that she said she was still mine.
I had been caught red-handed having stolen some paw-paw. I was then taken the elders owning the paw-paws.
I was double crossing Mercy and Maria. They one day came to know each other. I was found by Mercy red-haded when I was with Maria.
I had a girlfriend in the same class I was. I did not do well in my Exams, but she did satisfactorily well and was taken into another class leaving me behind.
Our Headmaster came to our hostel. The lights were off but there was a lot of noise. We shouted at him when he knocked at our door. We later saw that it was the Headmaster.
As I was taking venous blood from another patient I introduced air into the place of puncturing and there was a swelling which is dangerous to the patient hence I became afraid.
My lovely girlfriend double-crossed me and so that I found her chatting with another guy.
I really became sad when mother passed away while I was very young.
I was disgusted when my brother was arrested because of stealing money.
I was ashamed when my classmates discovered that I fell in love with an uneducated girl.
I felt guilty when I lost K43 for my friend when he was arrested.
When I had crossed Lilongwe forest I heard that there was a rabid hyena just near the path in the forest.
I was angry when I heard that my only girl was going about with another man. So I decided to drop her but later the story came to be untrue.
When I was not selected to go to the University of Malawi I felt very sad.
When I was presumed to have stolen maize from the school garden.
I once proposed my own niece whom I did not know but I discovered after she was my girlfriend.
A certain colleague of mine sent me to buy a bag of flour for him, he gave me K20. Unfortunately I lost it.
When my friend was involved in a car accident.
When I was charmed by my relatives.
When my mother died in August 1978.
When I entered the wound intensive care at the Central Hospital in Blantyre which was stinking.
When I first failed my standard 8 exams for the first attempt for Form I selection.
When I had beaten my auntie.
I had fear when I was left alone at the bus depot at night. I had problems of how to move to this place.
I felt angry when I heard that my sister had failed the Examinations which we hoped she was going to pass with distinctions.
I felt sad when I heard that my girlfriend was double-crossing me with the boy who is my best friend.
I felt disgust when I saw a friend walking in stagnant water without putting on gum boots.
I experienced shame when I failed to keep a promise to meet my friend at the bus depot. He later came and asked me why I had not turned up.
I felt guilty of revealing a secret to my in-law. I told her that my brother and I had gone to disconight which is a thing my brother didn't want to let her know. Later my brother was accused of spending a night out.
As I was in a ward one man died and I was instructed to watch the last offices. But this was my first time to see a dead person - fear came.
I was very angry when I heard that my brother was beaten by his friends.á
I was very sad when I heard about the death of my teacher who taught me in Standard 8.
I was disgusted to see a person vomitting and I was told to clean the place where the vomit was.
I was ashamed when a certain friend of mine I used to move with failed to propose to a lady yet we always said to ourselves no lady can refuse our proposal.
I felt guilty when one of my secondary teacher left me while I was in Form three, he was the only one who showed love to me.
I was looking after my father's sheen in the forest. One day while playing with friends from neighbouring villages the flock escaped me and went into a far place. It became dark and I was afraid of father. I went home and hid myself.
I planned to travel a distance of 20 kilometres on my bike. I planned this when I was working in the hospital. When I went to the house I found that a friend had taken my bike without my consent.
It was in the evening when I heard that my girl went to Zambia and that she would never come back.
A sister broke a cup and when mother asked I was reported to have been responsible.
One day mother slaughtered a chicken for a brother who had come back for holiday. In everybody's absence I opened the foodstore and ate all internal organs of the chicken. When mother discovered, we were all called and I was found with hands stained with soup. I was ashamed being the eldest of all in the family.
At primary school I was accused by some boys of being in love with a certain girl in their class so they had to shout and beat the girl and the matter was reported to the headmaster.
I was very angry when one day I went to see my girlfriend I talked to her and could not answer back. She was depressed for reasons which were not known to me.
I was very sad when I was shouted at by Uncle and was told that I was not to be given school fees because I didn't go to work in the garden since I had gone to escort my sister to the bus depot.
I was disgusted when I was told to dress a big rotten stinky wound which, coming closer, made me feel like vomitting.
I was ashamed one day when we were found stealing and roasting maize cobs from Agricultural experimental projects.
I felt guilty when the truth was known about my impregnating the girl we were staying with.
I was walking alone along the place where people fear that there are always thieves there and the people who kill their friends during the night two months ago.
I once was accused of falling in love with someone's girlfriend which was not true because the girl was just a friend of mine.
It was when I failed standard 8 exams while all my friends passed and went to secondary school. In class I was always getting more marks than they did.
My first day to work in hospital, when I was dressing wounds I was disgusted when I came across one wound with a very bad smell.
One day I was with my girlfriend and other friends were behind us, I fell down because the place was slippery and I really felt ashamed.
I felt guilty one day when I was accused of running away from classes and I was caught.
When two hyenas made crying noise on the window of my bedroom at home when I was preparing for my MCE examination during the night.
It was when my Instructor awoke me late at night to get prepared for the training at Military college when he was coming back from his personal social activities.
I slept in a tent at the Barracks which caught fire at night and my best possessions got burnt in there.
It was when my father beat my mother while she was ill for three weeks and now she was recovering.
When parents of a certain girl refused to let me marry their daughter because I was not fit to do so yet the girl accepted everything and later she followed what her parents insisted and she told me never to talk to her again.
The time I was at secondary school during the holiday I appeared to my father while heavily drunk and I talked nonsense like in some sort of carefree.
When I was travelling at night.
I experienced this when one of my friends reported to the Headmaster that I had gone out for beer, whilst the information was not true at all. So I had to fight the friend before the Headmaster.
When I was at school.
One of those days when I was going to school with my brother and he annoyed me.
This was when one of the Clinical officers scolded us in the hospital on how to make beds but we did not deserve to be scolded.
NO RESPONSE.
Fear came towards the end of May when the P.T.S. results were out after hearing the failure of my fellow three friends.
I was once this week angry when soemone trying to compress my mind due to his nonsense speech which himself could not tolerate at all.
This condition accumulated in my mind when funeral news was brought to my awareness, that a close relative had passed away.
A condition in which I was disgusted followed when I lost money on my way home from the college.
I was very ashamed when I was neglected by a certain friend whom I was thinking loved me very much.
I once felt guilty when a certain passenger in the same (ship, plane ?) which I boarded when coming from home lost his 10t which in fact fell into my pocket unknowingly.
It was when I stepped on a python (snake) unknowingly while it was sleeping near a baobab tree.
It was when my friend had stolen my money (K10) and had disappeared.
It was when my father was taken into detention by the CIDS for two years for a reason I don't know up to now.
It was when I drunk urine during my childhood thinking it was water. My friend had urinated in the tin.
It was when my father caught me with a girl in dark corners and asked me what I was doing there.
It was when I injured a friend accidentally with a stone. It made a cut on the cheeks which resulted in suturing.
My brother had bowel obstruction, having heard that he was going for surgery, I was afraid he might not come back to life after hearing of the General Anaesthesia.
I felt very angry after one driver had run over my beloved niece.
I was away to school (Primary). In my abscence my young brother at home got sick suddenly. My parents took him to hospital. On the way he died. It came to me as a sad, sudden and shocking news and I felt very sad.
I felt disgusted when I went to one of the Central hospitals where my hope of getting good treatment was turned down by one of the doctors who said I was alright despite my feeling pain.
I was in my room, I just heard that my Uncle had been caught in somebody's house with somebody's wife. He had to appear in court. I went to see what would happen to him.
I felt guilty after hearing that my girlfriend with whom I had spent most of my time was pregnant.
When I heard that there is teasing and bulling at Secondary School.
When I heard that I was not to be provided with another pair of medical uniform.
When I heard that my father had passed away.
When I vomitted a lump of blood.
When a certain girl I believed to be my life partner refused an engagement.
When I didn't notify someone that he was summoned by a headmaster and as a result he ended being on a heavy punishment.
One time I set up my journey at night going to a certain bar. On the way I met my friends and they told me that two people had died because of heavy fighting. I proceeded on but with fear.
An incident occurred to me when I was going home with my girlfriend. On the way, a man named Banda grabbed my girlfriend in my presence. I was really angry with him and as a result I threw stones at him and he ran away.
When I found my baby whipped by my Auntie. I was really sad and up to this moment my sadness is still on.
I was really disgusted when I saw one of my friends soiling on his clothes. I thought he was mad.
One day I went for a bath. I took off my clothes and as soon as I had finished my brother came in. I felt sad and I found no reason why he came in.
One day I took a packet of sweets from a certain Grocery at Nathenje. Then later on I started to feel guilty and realised that I had done a wrong thing to him.
When we were going to Nkhoma last Saturday the vehicle was moving very fast, so I feared we might crash since the road was too rough.
When they put the blame on me when I scored the third goal at the match.
I felt very sad when I lost my three Kwacha at civo Stadium when Sam Mangwana was playing some Rumba records. That was not what I expected, I wanted some Disco records.
In ward 2A there was a patient suffering from Syphilitic Paraplegia and had pressure sores. The wounds had offensive smell that only a few people .... the place.
It was when we were beaten or lost the football match by 5-1 and then I scored the third goal to my own side.
When I scored the third goal to my own side at a football match against William Murray Secondary School and we were badly defeated.
It was last week on Saturday night when I was at Mchesi. I feared to cross the Lilongwe River Bridge to come back to School due to darkness - until somebody had to escort me.
It was at Malawi Army, Dormer Squadron, when some of my workmates got promoted to Seargents (sgts); we were having similar Ranks.
It was mid May 1985, When we had a Test on Nursing. My classmate had an answer sheet, so he tried to peep. The Nursing Tutor caught him. During this time I was turning my question paper and it made noise. This friend blamed me of causing the whole matter for him to be caught.
In May somebody blamed me that I made him to be caught while peeping during the Nursing Test which made me feel disgusted.
In our class we had a test on Nursing, so a friend from the Army was caught peeping, by using a paper which had already answers which was written by him. So all of us from the Army got ashamed.
It was on January 1st 1985 when I accidentally broke a Fanta bottle in a certain bottle store in Zomba.
One day I was busy day dreaming along the road and suddenly I heard the sound of jamming car braked behind me. I woke up from my dreams and it was about to crash me.
When I was doing my last year at Secondary School I was robbed of my clothes, wristwatch and my pair of shoes. After investigations it was found that all the things were stolen by one of the boys in our hostel.
It was on 9th January 1983 when I received a message from home telling me that my father passed away on the previous day with a history of cancer of the oesophagus. This time I was doing my third year of my Secondary School.
I was stopped from entering a party while I was at School but I had an Invitation card with me. This was done because they said I was too young to join elderly people.
In 1972 I failed my Examination because of my own crooky behaviour of dodging from Examinations.
A child was admitted in hospital with Meningitis. I was asked to do lumber puncture to obtain Celebral Spinal fluid for diagnostic purposes. Since the condition was already bad, the child died as soon as I finished the procedure.
When it was found that I had gone out of the school premises without permisssion and at the wrong time.
When a classmate hit me on my occipital region when I was busy studying and concentrating on my classnotes.
When my father died.
When somebody made me touch human faeces.
Soiled my short trousers with faeces.
When a crawling child got burnt because of my negligence to keep the child away from the fire.
One time I was injured when I was playing football at School in Blantyre. I was brought to the hospital while my leg was totally swollen. The x-rays confirmed there was no fracture but collection of blood n the muscles. I feared when they started to incise the swollen part with surgical blade.
One day I was really angry when all my food was eaten by a dog. My anger was against my mother because she was careless. She didn't keep the food in a hidden and proper place.
One day I came across a certain boy who was intruding my friendship as lovers with my girlfriend and I was very sad because I didn't expect that girl to disappoint me I regarded her as being very faithful.
One time at the hospital I passed near the intensive care room. The offensive smell that came out disgusted me in such a way that I didn't even dare to enter the room.
At one occasion I was ashamed of being refused after a proposal for a friendship with a certain girl. I was ashamed because she refused publically in the presence of my fellow friends.
I once stole my father's money and denied having done it. Instead father threatened my young brother and he was beaten. He was innocent and I felt guilty.
We went fishing some 5 or 8 kilometers off the shore of Lake Malawi. Before we could settle down the lake became very rough to the point of threatening our lives.
I was angered by a classmate who poured soup on to my clothes. He was trying to use a short-cut method in getting his supper. Coming behind my back, he wasn't noticed by me and as I was retreating from a hungry congested people I knocked his plate with my head. He didn't accept being wrong but blamed me for pouring his soup.
I was sad when my MCE grades were out. I had gone for a football match a mile away from home. The mail found me there. I was disappointed and didn't play the other half of the match.
I was dancing Malipenga (traditional dance). I exaggerated the steps I was supposed to make in the negative way. This happened in front of spectators. It was bad for our Boma (group) because I was on the front line where ability is displayed and it is this ability that counts when choosing the winning side.
News was spread that I had been found doing sexual intercourse with a small girl. At first this annoyed me but later on I became ashamed because many people seemed to believe it.
I argued with my father on matters concerning marriage. Traditionally speaking, I was not supposed to, so I felt guilty of violating my traditions which I must hold in esteem.
I was studying in class at night. I was in Form II by then. There were rumours about an earthquake. That night dogs were chasing one another and passed through the window outside the classroom. Those who saw the dogs thought it was a lion and were terrified. Trying to run away the desks were dragged and there was a shaking movement. I thought it was an earthquake and jumped out of the window.
Someone told a lie that I had stolen his money.
My Uncle was beaten by his troublesome son. He fell unconscious and gained consciousness after some time. That time I was at school; this news reached me through someone.
I felt disgust when I received visitors at an odd hour. I was seriously preparing for Examinations, so I did not appreciate their coming.
I answered a certain question from Dr. Maqgda wrongly. She asked something about Femur and my answer was saying something concerning the brain. So I was very ashamed amongst my friends.
I wrote a bad letter to someone concerning our relationship which we created ourselves.
My father gave me money for school fees and I didn't pay school fees instead I spent it on beer and did not tell him about this.
There was a cup final match between Limbe Leaf Wanderers and Silver Strikers and someone promised to give me some money for admission fee to watch this game. Unfortunately he did not give me.
I had received bad news informing me that grandmother and grandfather had passed away. The first one to die was my grandmother and after two days grandfather died too.
It happened that one of my best friends just took my shirt without my knowledge, I hadn't put it on for many days and I was short of clothes.
I had high-heeled shoes one time, but a certain girl who saw the shoes told me that they were out of fashion and I looked as an old man when I was in those shoes.
I happened to have met one of my teachers in town during working hours. The badness was I didn't ask for permission to go out and I was guilty-conscious.
As we were going to Area 10 a dog chased me. I was afraid it might bite me.
Brother took my money to use for his own purposes.
After hearing the news about the death of my sister, I felt very sad.
After buying a ticket, I lost it before I reached my destination and the bus Inspector dropped me at a place I didn't know.
I was very much ashamed after a friend beat me at school and I was defeated.
I hit my cousin badly after she threw away my dresses in a pit-latrine that the little girl fainted.
When one of my relatives went out at night leaving me and my friend alone, I cheated my parents that she didn't go out, after they had heard that she was out, I was afraid that she might have beaten me.
When someone took my writing materials yet I was to write Examinations in a few minutes.
When I failed my Standard 8 Examination for the first time.
When a boy whom I refused to be my lover told all his friends that I was his girl he has refused me because I was not faithful to him.
When someone pointed out that I was proud, yet I didn't dress up properly. This was when I and my friend went for a dnce one Saturday.
After I had cheated my parents that I had lost my textbooks so they had to send me money.
I felt fear when one night my aunt and Uncle left me alone at their house to look after the baby when they went to a party.
I felt angry at one time when I was chatting with friends and suddenly another friend joined us and started opposing any comment I added to our chatting.
I felt sad when a thief stole all the clothes from my friend's cupboard at school (boarding).
I felt disgusted when I was not given money for lunch at school by my father as a punishment for beating my little brother.
I felt shame when I was asked by my cousin that I promised to buy her a birthday present but I didn't buy it for her in front of friends.
I felt guilt when my friends were punished to slash grass at the gound because of making noise in class. I was in the group of noise-makers but I denied having done any noise.
I was with my boyfriend forgetting that I had left the house unlocked. Unfortunatly a thief came and stole all the kitchen utensils. Thereafter I was afraid of the consequences.
My best friend started moving out with my boyfriend. When I heard this my heart sank because I didn't expect that my own good friend could do such a thing, so I got angry.
I was sad when I heard that my cousin died because of being bewitched by her husband's second wife.
My friend promised to take me out for a movie but he didn't turn up.
I met a woman who was looking for our house. She stopped me but I ran away. When I arrived at home I found the same woman and she told my parents what had happened so I felt ashamed.
I went to my boyfrien's house. There I found clothes of a certain girl. Without asking whose clothes they were I started tearing them only to realise that they were his sister's and so I felt guilty.
Somebody told her friend that she would hit me wherever we would meet.
This was when my boyfriend told me that I was double-crossing him with a certain boy.
When I heard that my friend had started drinking beer.
I went to a party and there were some cakes which weren't good and had a bad smell.
One day I was supposed to go to a movie with my boyfriend. In the morning I went to see my Auntie and I didn't come back up to evening.
I slapped my sister's daughter and after several hours, she had a high temperature and she ended up being admitted in hospital.
When I came home late one day. I was afraid I would be shouted at by my parents.
When a little brother of mine damaged a cassette.
I was watching T.V with my parents and some pornographic scenes came on, I felt uncomfortable and tried to distract my parents attention by talking to them.
I saw a program on T.V where they had to saw a skull for an        operation.
When I decided not to out any longer with a girl whom I liked quite a lot.  This made me feel low for a some time.
[ No description.]
I and my cousin went to a filmshow at night. We went without making it known to my mother. While we were there at interval, I came across my mother just close to where we sat.
During the Xmas holiday, I and my best friend at Secondary School had planned to meet at a Cultural afternoon at the Mt. Soche Hotel after missing each other for such a long time. When I asked my mother for permission, she told me not to go for no good reason. I felt very angry with her.
When I was transferred from Chichiri Secondary School to St. Mary's Sec. School. I was happy at Chichiri as a day scholer and had made a lot of friends. I was going to a boarding and that meant parting with my friends as well as my boyfriend for the first time.
I felt disgusted when my cousin decided that she would stop going to school saying she wanted to get married. She was only 14 years by then and she didn't understand what she was thinking.
When I failed my Primary school leaving Examinations. I never thought I would fail. When I heard I had failed I really felt ashamed of myself.
One time I felt guilty when I told one of my previous boyfriends we were through just because I never felt like having one at that particular time.
Sometime back, my boyfriend and I were having a walk nearby my parent's house. Suddenly we met my grandfather and I was afraid that he would report to my parents.
One day I was angry with my friend who went into my drawer and took a piece of paper on which I wanted to write a letter and used it for her business without my knowledge.
It was shocking news to me when I received a telegram from home telling me that my grandmother had passed away. I had to go home to attend the funeral but unfortunately I found that the burial had already taken place.
I was disgusted with my brother's behaviour when he kept throwing things away because of his anger, after mum had shouted at him.
I was ashamed with my biology lecturer when he asked me a question and I could not answer it.
One day I was chatting with children at home. Then I took a lump of soap and gave to one of them pretending that it was a sweet. I thought the child would realise that it was not. Unfortunately he did not and he put it in his mouth.
When the week for Exams came. I got afraid as to how I would tackle the questions.
Last week a friend of mine called on me and said I was moody and difficult to persuade. With this I got angry with her.
I experienced this emotion when my grandfather passed away.
In my village there was this tax collector who used to cheat people and collected more than was wanted, the surplus was for his family and himself.
I felt ashamed when my lecturer said in class that I happened to be the dullest of all.
I felt guilty when I was found to be the chief leader of making noise in class.
When I was called for an Interview at Kamuzu College of Nursing.
When I damaged my wristwatch which I liked very much.
When my cousin passed away.
When my fellow classmates were involved in a quarrel.
When I failed Psychology examination when most of the students passed.
When I promised to visit my boyfriend and I didn't fulfil the promise.
One day during our clinical practices, we had a very ill patient. Unfortunately the patient passed away. I had seen him dying and it was the first experience. During the night I became afraid fearing the dead body.
It was during the beginning of the term. I had K100 and kept it in my handbag. I left the handbag in the wardrobe but didn't lock it. Next time I found that K30 were stolen.
My best friend had failed Exams. She had to leave and so we got separated.
I felt disgusted when my appointment to meet the E.N.T. specialist had been turned down. The specialist came from U.K. and went the same day and we do not have one.
I had been telling lies and people discovered instantly that I was telling lies. I felt very shameful and I felt like disappearing from people.
I had spent the weekend visiting relatives and friends and didn't study for Anatomy class on Monday.
When I stepped on a snake at home, it was dark but there was moonlight.
I went to a fair where a guy who was drunk kept bothering me and in the end I got really angry.
When I heard that my Uncle had passed away in a road traffic accident.
I went to a party with my boyfriend who got so drunk and started vomiting. It was so disgusting.
We were writing Primary school leaving Examinations when I had fallen at the steps going into the Exam room.
I was keeping a friend's Library book which went overdue. My friend was charged for the delay in returning the book to the Library. I felt guilty when I realised I was responsible.
I was alone walking in a deserted part of the city and I had some fear that some men would attack me and rob me.
I wrote an Exam and happened to have not done as well as I thought I would. I was angry to myself for not having done so well.
I lost my purse that had money in it. I was sad until I found it.
I received a letter which was too strong for me. It said I had done something which I really didn't do.
A friend of mine was shouting at me in a group of juniors.
Before going to school I usually take something to eat right at school and this time I took Father's money without him knowing it. I felt guilty and I returned the money.
When I was travelling home by bus and suddenly the bus hit and the bus leaned against a wall.
I was angry when someone stole a magazine which I had borrowed from another friend and locked it in a drawer.
When my best friend promised to come at my house and I had to prepare so many expensive things for her but only to learn at last that she would not turn up.
I felt disgusted one day when, as we were eating, a child defecated on the table side.
I felt ashamed one day when my teacher shouted at me in the presence of my boyfriend.
I felt guilty one day when I stole a slice of bread in a cafeteria.
I was afraid when my boyfriend came home because my parents disapproved him of his coming home. I thought they would chase me out of the house.
I was angry when my friends said that I should not receive Nursing Science books because there was a rumour that I was intending to leave the college.
When my cousin passed away.
When I was a child I broke plates because I wasn't given food on the grounds of coming home late.
I was ashamed of being laughed at by my colleagues when I failed to answer a question in the classroom.
I felt guilty after stealing a cookery book from my colleagues.
I was afraid to walk through the forest one day when I dropped off the bus around 6.30 pm.
I was angry when somebody stole my half petticoat.
I felt sad when my father was sick.
I felt disgusted when somebody told me that my previous boyfriend was her boyfriend.
I was ashamed when my boyfriend went to sit with another girl when he invited me to come to watch Drama festival.
I felt guilt to have come back from home without seeing my father. When I went home he was at work.
Afraid of a dead body.
A tailor ran away with my skirt.
Cooks refused to give me food.
I saw a septic, smelling wound.
I was ashamed when I was being introduced to the church congregation.
I cheated my boyfriend.
I was playing with friends then I decided to splash some sand into a car which was moving nearby. The driver got angry and came to report to my parents.
Sometime back another girl who was in terms with my ex-boyfriend came to shout at me at twelve midnight. It was because she thought I was still interested in the boy.
In May 18th, 1984 my boyfriend went to the U.S.A. In December I was told he passed away. He had cancer of the Oesophagus.
One day I was walking with my boyfriend. We met my ex-boyfriend and out of jealousy he started calling me names.
My father who is very quiet discovered I was going out with a coloured boy. He called me names and was really upset.
I was at a boarding school during my primary school days. I was broken so I pretended I was very sick. My father came and he picked me up. He spent a lot of money on medical expenses which all proved to be negative.
I felt so afraid when dad fell ill, he had never suffered from that disease since and I had never seen him as he was.
I was furious when the teacher pointed out in class that I was the quietest girl in class.
It was extremely sad to me when I heard that a patient who I was taking care of in hospital had passed away. He had some abdominal pains.
I felt this situation when a certain woman from a close village shouted at my mother because she didn't get what she wanted, she wanted some salt to put in her relish.
I was ashamed when I got the lowest result (mark) in class. All the same I didn't worry too much because I knew I would have got much better if I had read enough.
At one time while at primary school I lost a pencil case of a friend and I didn't mention it to her until after a fortnight.
I failed my Nutrition paper which was the paper ending the course.
When a patient in the ward died (one who had been under my care). I felt as if I didn't give the appropriate care to the patient.
I was afraid when my mother left me alone to live in our house for one month.
I was angry when my boyfriend did not turn up as promised.
I was very sad when I heard that my uncle had passed away untimely at home.
One day my friend told me that she had heard that I was moving about with her boyfriend. I was disgusted with the news.
I was walking one day and I met a man who wanted to ask me about my brother but I didn't stop to hear what he was saying. I was ashamed when I found him at home and he told my brother what had happened.
I felt guilty when I tore a photograph I found at my boyfriend's place only to realise that it was his sister who was on the photograph.
When I dream of anything terrifying I used to have fear for the rest of the day that the dream might come true e.g., being beaten (or eaten ?) by a snake.
I had been in love with a certain young man who pretended to love me but one day I found out that he had another girlfriend who was also a friend of mine.
I wrote a letter to my boyfriend but he couldn't answer it in time so as a defence mechanism I just found that I felt so sad about it and couldn't talk to anyone.
Once I offended a friend, instead of her coming to me to ask and discuss the matter she was just telling other people about it and say all she could about me.
I was once chatting with friends. Then some boys came and joined us. These boys took all my 3 friends away and I was left alone in shame without knowing where to go from there.
One day I found an incontinent man in the ward. This patient had a guardian who couldn't give him a bath. So I just left him like that but felt guilty until I went back to give him a bath.
I broke a window of a neighbouring house and I feared my mother's judgement and action on what I had done.
The headmistress at a secondary school accused me of banging the classroom door when I didn't in front of the whole class.
I received a message that my elder brother was involved in a car accident and was admitted in hospital.
The carterer refused to give me sugar to add to my tea saying that there was no sugar whilst it was there, so I left the cafe disgusted without taking the tea.
I insulted my friend for a small reason and after time I realised that I was wrong and felt ashamed; everytime I meet her I feel ashamed.
My patient died of Anaemia while I was organising blood transfusion for him, so I felt guilty, because I thought that may be I was slow.
When a thief entered the house in which I was sleeping.
When my dress was stolen.
When my grandmother died after a long illness.
When I boarded Yanu Yanu bus I sat near a man who was smoking tobacco.
When I refused to fetch water for my aunty while she was busy.
When I hit my young sister without a valid reason.
I was in the house at night and I heard a hyena crying outside. It cried for almost an hour and I feared it might break the window and enter inside the house.
I was angry at the Cafeteria when the cook scolded and said many bad things about me without reason. He thought I was among the girls who did him wrong.
I was very sad when I heard that my Auntie had passed away.
I was disgusted the other day I was told to take off the dog's faeces around the house since they smelled bad I did the job but in the end I felt disgusted.
I was very ashamed when I failed a test in Standard 7. The teacher told the other students to shout and laugh at me.
I felt guilty because I stole some sweets from my father's grocery. When he asked me who stole the sweets I told him it was my brother who stole the sweets and he was scolded.
When I heard that my father had found a letter from my boyfriend and he was calling me to talk about it.
When a certain boy went about saying that I am his girlfriend. I wrote him an insulting letter to him and called him names.
When I heard that my father had passed away. I could not eat for a week and was only crying. I could not find the courage to go to bath.
When a boy I hated most in our classroom took my T Jersey from my desk and put it on.
When I wet my head (or bed ?) one day my sister discovered it and reported it to the other siblings. So my mother had to scold me.
When I insulted my young sister for a very little misconduct of putting on my shoes. She wrote me an apology letter and the message she included made me feel guilty.
I was on my way home when suddenly Gule Wamkulu came from the bush and blocked the road. I was in fear and didn't know what to do.
A certain man went to my parents and told them that I was married here, when I am here at school. When I went home for holidays my parents asked me about it and I was angry with that man.
When I went home on holidays I found that my niece and nephew had passed away I was very sad for the children were not even sick before death but suddenly died.
I met a certain lady at the bus depot who was using a bad language but was a very smart looking lady.
I wore a dirty dress a certain day I was going to town I met an old friend who made a comment about my dress so I felt ashamed.
One day I shouted at my brother who didn't do any wrong to me only that I had a disappointment from a friend and projected it on to him. He cried and I felt guilty after sometime.
I went to the prayer meeting at night and unfortunately the car broke down, so my other sister said I had to walk alone from Ndirande to Chirimba at around midnight. So we reached home at 1 am. I was afraid of robbers and dardness.
I was angry the other day because the teacher told me to sweep some orange peels. It was my friends who were supposed to sweep, but the teacher told me to do it.
I was very sad when I heard that my brother had failed the standard 8 exams for the third time.
I was very disgusted the first day I went to put a dead body in the Mortuary. There were many dead bodies and some were uncovered so we had to put on top of the other bodies.
I was really shameful when my mother beat me in the presence of my friends because I didn't cook lunch up until 2 o'clock.
I felt guilty the other day because I took two pieces of bread instead of one in the Cafeteria and some of the girls were short of bread.
I was afraid when I met my Uncle because this time I was with my boyfriend I thought I was not going to be given pocket money.
I was angry when I had not been granted a leave out pass during the last weekend.
I was sad to hear that my brother had a motorbike accident.
I was disgusted when my little sister had been hit badly by her friends.
I was ashamed to tell my mother that I fell down with a bicycle.
I felt guilty when I had refused to lend money to my friend who needed it immediately.
I was asked to join my friend in a boat at Mangochi Lake Malawi and when making a turn, it seemed as if the boat would sink on the side.
Somebody took my wristwatch and promised to have it mended and later was telling me that he couldn't give it back to me because I was rude at a certain time.
My boyfriend didn't turn up after promising that he was coming.
I was forced to go to a party with someone I didn't love and he was telling people that I was his girlfriend.
When a certain drunk man slapped my buttocks when I was quietly standing waiting for a bus.
I borrowed my friend's radio cassette and the plug cracked and some pieces broke off when the plug dropped off my hands.
I was sleeping alone in the house at night. A boy putting on a short only knocked at the window whispering that I should open for him.
The patient whom I expected to get well suddenly passed away after he showed had his meals.
When my grandmother passed away.
I was told I shouldn't visit my sister because the holiday was short.
I was the last among the list of failures in my class of Biology.
I was to prepare relish for the family. I overcooked it and no one liked the meal that day.
Sometime back I used to stay with my mum alone then time came when dad joined the family from his working place I found myself having fear for him for no cause at all.
I was so angry with a patient who refused to take drugs.
When I heard of the death of a friend who had just finished her training I felt very sad for she was young.
When I saw a lady putting on a pair of trousers, I felt it was a disguise according to Malawi culture.
Sometime back I was coming from the wards and lice were all over my uniform since patient's blankets have a lot of lice. It happened that my boyfriend picked some lice from my white uniform. I was so ashamed.
I used to have two boyfriends in the past. Then one of them wanted to get engaged to me. I agreed but was guilt-conscious for disappointing the other one.
I was fearful when I realised that the relish was overcooked simply because I was not keen enough at checking whether there was still enough water in the relish or not, instead I was just playing with my friends.
I felt angry when my friend told me that I had stolen her money.
I felt sad when I heard that my cousin had passed away just suddenly.
I felt disgust when I saw a drunkard vomiting very offensive matter.
I flet shameful when I learnt that I cooked Nsima which was full of lamps in it.
I felt guilty when I learnt that some of friends found the finished at the Cafeteria because I took food which was more than my share.
My friend had been telling me about a certain bird which when it cries at night it's the sign that someone will die. So one night I was alone in the house and I heard the cry of the bird and I was afraid.
One of my friends went and told another friend of mine that I was going abut with another guy in Lilongwe besides the one I had. She said I was seen with him hand in hand.
I received a letter form home telling me that my sister was very sick.
Somebody went around spreading news that I like people with money.
I fell off a bike in the presence of a lot of people.
A person misinterpreted what I had told her. I had told her that I had failed to insert a NasoGastric tube but she went and scolded the patient that she was being uncooperative.
I had fear of my father (parents) when I first became pregnant. I was afraid of delivery itself and whether I would give birth to a stiiborn or a baby.
It was when I discovered that my boyfriend had another girl. I discovered it through a letter he wrote to the girl when he was away. When I asked him he accepted it.
My child passed away after a short illness when he was just eleven months old. I was only told about his death without knowing that he had been ill.
My father promised to send me pocket money at the month-end since I wanted to buy a new pair of shoes when I was at secondary school, but he didn't.
I just opened the bathroom without knocking not knowing that someone was bathing inside, it happened to be my father.
I beat my young sister because she refused to wash plates. She started crying and I felt sorry and guilty for what I did.
Fighting with class mates in Highschool.
Made mistakes in exam.
Failing examn.
Given duty by the leaders which I do not like to do.
Did not finish homework.
Make a mistake, offended my friend.
Walking on a dark street with noone around.
My friend misunderstood me.
My grandmother died.
Class leader told me to collect homework for him.
Did not finish homework.
Did not read reference when other people read them.
Before examination.
Listening to long speech of the party leaders wasting my time.
My girl-friend left me.
People not cueing in the college dining room.
Saw the film about Eight Nations Army conquering Beijing.
No ideal result in the University entrance examn, guilty to family and friend.
Telling my parents that I did not well in an examn.
My bed sheet (present of my parents) damaged by roommate.
Not being accepted by classmates in university.
Waiting for a bus not coming for a long time, and the bus drivers were having a long lunch.
Not having good marks like other people for homeworks.
Not handing in homeworks in time.
Lost my purse, the money in the purse belonged to my parents.
South Korea winning more gold medals in the Asian Olympic (more than China).
Saw the village I come from still pay money to buy wife.
Saw my roommate messing up our room.
Found out that I am not good at football.
Gave the wrong meal tickets to other people (my classmate).
Damaged the tap in the residental Hall.
Too many people in TV room, I was not able to get a seat to watch TV.
My sister marrying a bad man. He is cruel to her.
Saw my brother-in-law insulting my sister.
My sister was afraid of her husband.
I was not able to help my sister to understand that her husband is a bad man before she was married to him.
Waking up from a bad dream in a dark night with noone else around.
I could not find my monthly tickets for the bus when I was on the bus.
Two little children (5/6 years old) begging for money, and noone gave them money.
The serving lady in the students' dining hall shouting at studennts.
Sitting on the bus seats supposed for disabled people, children and old people (by mistake)
Passing by a good friend's home without coming in to visit him.
Left alone in the dining hall at night.
Bus conductor insulted me for not buying a ticket (I forgot).
Saw a father beating up his small child.
Class leader getting me to do things he did not want to do.
Not quick enough to help the lectors to catty things for the lecture.
My mother wrote me and said that I would not writ enough letters home.
Could not find my way out in the college building at night.
Saw in the TV South Korea cheating in the Asian Olympic games.
General Ye Jianying died.
A girl I do not like kept coming to me and talking to me.
Failing an examn.
Made a misjudgement in a football match.
Getting lost in a strange place.
South Korea cheating for gold medals.
My friend has to go on field trips, he just told me.
When I was the South Koreans on the TV.
Zhu Jianhau did not break the world record for China.
Unable to help my mother to cook.
Going to the examn not well prepared.
Overhear people talking about me and saying that I am stupid.
Hearing about developments of sience in the West a lot better than China.
Some foreign students playing loud music late at night.
Not being able to be selected for the dancing team.
Did not get up early enough to watch my class football team playing against another team.
Left alone in the dark in a big building.
Someone called me a disgusting nickname.
Not getting on with someone of my classmates in high school.
A woman picked her nose and spit right next to me.
Not brave enough to take up a challenge in a group discussion.
Not being a good host for a friend from a far away place.
Walking alone in the dark in a strange street.
A friend forgot his appointment with me.
A friend misunderstood me.
A boy in my class talking too loud in the lecture.
Not being able to have a party at home with friends.
Being miserable in a party when other people are friendly and happy.
Facing a mad dog.
Misunderstood deliberately by a close friend.
My old teacher in primary school died.
Getting into a crowded bus.
Being rude to somebody who was impolite to me.
Not accepting hints of intimate relation from a girl.
Listening to horrot stories at night.
My roommate was rude to me.
My uncle died in the Vietnam War.
Cueing in the students dining hall.
Arguing about price with private shop-assistant.
Not being able to spend more time with a friend who was visiting me.
Finding out that I am not an as able student as I thought.
I was told to do something I did not want to do.
Finding out that China is still backward in science.
Doing this pointless questionnaire.
Insulted by somebody.
I am not doing what I should with this questionnaire.
Just arrived in the university, not knowing anybody.
Insulted by teacher.
Finding out I am not good looking.
Someone I do not like kept talking to me.
Finding out from this lecture that China is backward in psychology.
Being rude to someone I do not like.
Diagnosis that I have a stomache ulcer.
A classmate damaged ma iron and tried to hide the damage.
Not winning a medal in the swimming contest.
Some students talking when other people are having a nap.
A friend asked for help and I was not able to help.
Before an examn.
Korean judges cheating.
My father left us for another woman.
Saw my father with that woman he is married to now.
Had to tell people that my parents are divorced.
Not beeing able to stay with my mother for the National Day holiday.
Almost had a bicycle accident.
Heard about someone telling lies about me to my best friend.
My best friend suddenly acting strange towards me.
Saw someone messing up our room.
After shouting at a friend.
Did not do what I promised to do for a friend.
Getting ill.
My class leader told me the university won't let all of us go to your lectures because we are not All English Class.
When I was not chosen to go to your English lectures.
Finding out that the class leader can go to your lectures, and his English is worse than mine.
China cannot let you give more lectures because you are needed in the specialist clinics. We are so backward in medicine.
I hated you for not letting me go and found out that it was not your decision.
Finding out my best friend cannot go to the English lectures.
Heard some postgraduate students talking about girls being unsiutable to do medicine.
Failing in an examn.
Not being able to convince my class leader that my friend is better than me to go to the English lectures.
Watching a horror film.
My parents do not like my friend and told me not to go out with him.
My grandmother died.
Saw someone spitting in public.
Failing in an examn because of lazyness.
Losing my temper to my sister.
Staying alone in a dark place.
Being sexually assulted on a bus.
Finding out that my best friend could not go to university.
Some boys not cueing in the dining hall.
Watching TV about china is behind in winning gold medals.
Not being able to help my friend to do homework.
Beaten up by a classmate in school.
Being insulted in public.
A girl I love does not love me.
Saw some girls dressed up like Americans
Failing university entrance examn.
Not handing in homework in time.
First time in anatomy.
Misunderstood by a close friend for the wrong reason.
Finding out that China is poor, so we cannot have good reference books.
Foreign students playing loud music in the night before the biology examn.
Finding out that the university police was afraid to stop the foreign students playing loud music (China's shame).
Not doing well in the examn.
Earth crake.
Made a statement that other people did not believe.
Saw poverty in the countryside.
Saw Chinese people flattering foreigners.
Not being able to argue against class leaders.
Could not help a student who needs help.
Staying alone in the dark.
Being put down by the class leaders.
Finding out that life span in China is shorter than in the West.
Girls dressed like foreigners in the university.
Being insulted in public.
Insulting other people.
Walking home in the dark from college.
Finding out that I was deceived by a friend.
Not doing well in an examn.
Finding out that my best friend was deceiving me.
Failing an examn because I did not work hard enough.
Not acting on my promise.
Finding out that my health condition may be against my attending university lectures.
Bought something bad from the shop and they refused to change it.
Relative's death.
Saw people quarreling in a bus.
Running away from a fire.
Forgot to give a present to my little nephew.
Going out alone in the dark.
Saw some young people fighting for seats on a bus.
My mother's death.
Saw people spitting in public.
Went to a lecture about Chinese history and hear about the Opium War.
My friend will find out that I am in love with her.
Falling in love although she is my friend (angry with myself).
My friend still trusts me as a friend.
Someone being arrogant to me.
Insulted by a teacher in front of the class.
Falling in love with a close friend.
Before the examn.
I wanted to borrow lecture notes from a friend and he did not lend me them.
Finding out about the university does not have enough foreign currency to buy the yournals in your reference list.
Someone told me he was chosen for the English lectures because he was a good friend of the class leader.
Finding out about Chinese money cannot buy foreign journals.
Late for a lecture and therefore missed it.
Ran into a parking car on a bicycle.
Insulted for no reason.
Did badly in an examn.
Saw a man dressed as a woman.
Saw a beggar on the street (China still so poor).
Could not buy a reference book because I got up too late to cue.
I may not be clever enough to understand your English lectures.
Told by some people the class leader only choose his friends (not true).
One of my best friends was hurt by a girl he loves.
Saw a very arrogant girl walking like a queen.
China cannot buy your reference.
A friend asked to borrow my notes and I did not give them away (my notes too badly written)
Getting ill.
Failed to be elected to be a class leader.
Father lost his temper at home because he was mistreated at work.
Saw someone who picked up a cigarette from the floor and smoked it.
Telling a lie.
Not getting the class paper in time for the lecture.
Anatomy lesson and told we have to do it at night sometimes.
Had an argument with my classmate for borrowed books.
Finding out that we cannot have good references because China is poor.
Saw someone licking his dining bowl.
Criticized in front of the class.
Not finishing homework in time.
Reading a horror story alone.
Being refused to attend the neuropsychology lecture in the medical university.
My parents told me that they do not like my friend.
Saw an arrogant girl walking pass by.
Not finishing my duty as a class leader.
My friend had trouble and I was not able to help him.
Left alone in the biology building surrounded by empty buildings.
Someone told me we are not as good as the All English Class.
Not getting the reference paper.
Cueing for a bus and the drivers having long dinner.
Not finishing homework.
Did not return the library book on time.
Thinking about death when walking alone at night.
Found out that someone I knew well has been misunderstanding me for 2 years.
Death of a relative.
Someone I know and respect sexually assulted a girl.
My father insulted by other people.
Made a mistake at work.
Doing anatomy alone for the first time.
Being insulted in front of my parents, and they believed other people (those insulting me).
Death of General Ye Jianying.
Someone had stolen an article from a library journal.
Not doing well in the examn.
Not finishing homework in time.
I asked someone to bring some present to my father and found out that he is not a reliable person. I was afraid if my father would not get the presents he would be angry with me.
Some classmates said I did not do enough social work. Therefore I was not elected as a "Tree Good" student.
My father won't be so pleased with me as if I was elected "Three Good".
My roommate's lack of consideration of me.
My sister said I am not a stable person, and I think she is right.
My sister forgot to bring presents for my birthday, I was rude to her.
Staying alone in the biology building after the dark.
Being insulted by my roommate (she is in the English Class).
Not being able to do well to be chosen for the English lecture.
My roommate boasting about her English lectures.
When the class leader read out the names of those chosen for the English lecture and I was not on the list.
Some boys told me your nickname is "Little Girl Doctor", I did not tell them off and laughed with them.
Finding out the great difference between China and the West in science.
Saw my unfair report.
Lecturers being unfair to me in reports.
Finding out that some students are getting good reports they do not deserve.
People impolite with me because I did not get a good report.
I kicked the chair in the classroom to express my anger.
My roommate refused to walk with me to the English lectures. I have to walk alone in the dark. Lectures are in the biology building.
My roommate being unconsiderate.
My best friend was not chosen for the English lectures.
Someone told me I was chosen for the English lectures because I am good looking.
Not doing well in the examn.
Some boys talking about nicknames of the lecturers, and I was too afraid of them to stop them.
My boat running into another boat.
Punished by a leader.
My teacher's death.
Saw a mate bribing the leader.
Insulted by a woman in public.
Fight with my mate after a quarrel.
Finding out that I made a stupid mistake in the examn.
Finding out about some girls who have been nice to the class leader in order to go to the neuropsychology lectures (English ones).
Finding out I am not chosen for the English lectures.
Some students whose English is worse than mine can go to your lectures (English lectures).
Insulted by classmate in public.
Not handing in homeworks in time.
Walking in the dark and thinking about ghost stories.
Had an insulting letter from my father.
Being misunderstood by friends.
Saw someone acting in a false manner in public.
Failed in a piblic argument.
Promised to do something for other people and did not do it.
Finding out in your lecture that a doctor can make misdiagnoses because of ignorance in neuropsychology.
Someone talking about me at my back.
Found out that my grandmother might have been misdiagnosed as a psychiatric patient because the doctor did not know about neurologism.
Some students deliberately disobey me as a class leader.
Finding out that China is backward in science.
Some students have been calling lecturers nicknames and I was not able to find out who they were to stop them.
Finding out that a boy I do not like is in love with me.
Being told that I have not got a personality.
Power cut made me unable to listen to the songs sung by my favourite pop star.
Someone acting stupid in public.
Not being able to answer question in a seminar.
Said something I should not have said in public.
Hearing a strange noise in the biology building.
Insulted by other people in the shop.
My good friend misunderstood me.
Being looked at by someone I do not like.
I am chosen for the English lectures instead of my good friend and people told me that girls are more likely to be chosen.
I was not able to explain well to my good friend to make him less angry.
Watching a horror film.
Being mistreated by other people.
Deceived by other people and ran into trouble.
Saw a selfish person doing a selfish thing.
Not doing well in the examn.
Finding out that I have misunderstood other people.
Staying alone in the room after midnight and reading horror stories.
Being told that I am a stupid person.
My parents failed to visit me as they promised.
Some people not cueing in the dining hall.
Saw on TV China not winning more gold medals in the Asian Olympics.
Not handing in homework in time.
Saw a classmate knocked down by a motorcycle.
Being sexually assulted on a bus and noone helped (people only laughed).
Being sexually assulted and told my friends about it (we cried together).
Heard someone boasting his fortune telling and I knew he was lying.
Being criticized by teacher in public.
Shouting at my parents because I was angry about something else.
Suddenly found out that I was the lasr one to leave the anatomy room.
Some boys deliberately played tricks on me in the experiments.
Iqam chosen for your lecture and my best friend is not. Now he is angry with me and I cannot help him.
Listening to my roommate boasting about her new clothes.
China not winning more gold medals in the Asian Olympics.
Not being able to help my friend to study English.
Walking in the dark I saw something strange.
Your prejudice against psychology students and education students (not allowing us to go to the medical university lectures).
A friend's brother died.
A wurm dropped on my head.
Not doing well in an examn which was easy.
Wrongly accused a classmate.
First time in anatomy.
Being insulted in public for the wrong reason.
Not being chosen for the English lectures (my girl-friend chosen).
My roommate messing up our room.
Not doing well in examns which I should do well (English examns).
Heard that my girl-friend was chosen for the English lectures and I was not. I lost my temper and she is very upset now.
I helped someone to do something and was found out.
Misunderstood by friends.
My mother was ill and my father was not at home.
My roommate being nice to a party leader in order to get into the party.
China not doing well in the Asian Olympic games.
Not collecting letters for my friend al I promised.
Before the examn.
Some foreign students playing loud music before the biology examn.
Finding out that the girl I like does not like me.
Saw two Canadian students boasting about how rich they are in Canada.
Finding out that China does not have enough foreign currency to buy books.
Calling lecturers nicknames when talking to housemen (They told ne you are even younger than they are so you should not be giving public lectures).
Being alone in the room at night.
Quarreling with classmates.
My father told me in the letter that my mother is ill.
My roommate talking and shaking her bed at night.
Finding out that I was deceived by my friend.
A friend came to visit me and I was not there.
Walking out from the biology building.
Someone told me that I was chosen for English lectures because the class leader is going out with me (not true).
My sister bkoke her leg.
Some boys boasting about their ability to tell dirty jokes.
Finding out China is backward in science.
When some housemen told me a young girl like you should not be allowed to lecture to consultants, I was too shy to argue against them.
Being chased in the dark by someone I did not know.
My best friend betrayed me and told other people my secrets.
Disappointed by a friend.
Finding out some people had been talking about me at my back.
Being sexually assulted in public.
I did not reply to my friend's letter in time.
Suddenly met someone in the biology building at night.
Being insulted by my roommate.
Not getting an airplane ticket fot my mother.
Talking about snakes.
People not resprcting my opinion.
Lost my girl-friend.
Talking to someone I disliked.
Criticized by a teacher in public.
Not being able to help my friend.
Staying in a relative's house which was broken in before.
Being insulted on a bus.
Insulted by my mother.
A relative not acting on her promise.
First time going out with a boy and other people laughed at us.
A friend wanted to give me a surprise into my room and I thought she was stealing from the room.
Before an important examn.
My parents do not like my friend and told me to stay away from him.
My friend not allowed to go to the English lectures.
Postgraduate students talking about girls stupid.
Ctiticized by teachers in public.
My friend did not do well in the examn because I did not help him.
I am afraid of my academic results as I will face several problems.  I am scared of my limitations and the unlimited problems and I do not know how to cope with them.
I quarrelled with my brothers (twins) at home on saturday.  One of them studies in a private school and the other one is repeating his form five.  They do not know what they are doing.  They follow every word of their teachers, books and systems.  They always try to rationalize their bad acts by some game and they are satisfied with their awkward life.  I have tried to persuade them very often but have failed.  This time I had a fight as they have no voluntary spirit (they did not polish the floor).
I have been thinking of changing my major for a few months.  My original major was Chinese language and it blocks my way.  I have to face many problems at the sametime and I do not know what is real and virtuous.  I do not know if I am not interested in Chinese or if there are other factors which make me sad.  I am not very clear on what I can do for the study of Communication and Journalism.  I am not clear about what I can do.  What are the limitations ?   I hesitate but I feel more adjusted now.
I had been forced to get together with strange and disgusting classmates.  The things they talked about disgusted me and made me feel ill at ease.  I knew that I would feel unhappy if I stayed there but I was defeated by the social norms.
I had obviously done the work badly but my class-mates of the student's association did not blame me, they helped me do the work.
I had not done my assignment seriously.  I only pretended to finish the work as the work did not have any meaning for me.  The whole thing made me feel guilty.
When the doctor told me that there was something wrong with my eye and I had to undergo an operation.
I had left a student newspaper of the Chinese university on the table of the library.  It had disappeared when I came back.
One of my class-mates had a disease unexpectedly, he had been in a coma for six days in a hospital before he died.
Someone, who was sitting very close to me, was smoknig in the compartment of an air conditioned mini-bus.
In the compartment of a public transport railway, I did not give my seat to an old man who was standing near me.  It was another teenager who did so.
One saturday night I did some meaningless work and went to bed very late.  Next morning I had was very sleepy so I continued sleeping even though I had work to do and I missed the Sunday service.
I was afraid that I would fail an examination.
I had too much homework and examinations and I did not know how to organize my work.
When I forgot the lyrics during a song contest.
Because of the examination I had to study night and day.
I did badly in the mid term examination.
The results of the mid term examinations were very poor.
When I was walking along a road alone on my way to go shopping.
In the student's union there was someone who took the photocopies of two large volumes.  I asked him to let me take a few, he refused it for an acceptable reason.
When another person's mother died.
I greeted a friend and he did not respond.
In an examination ,which other students found easy I could hardly think and did not know what to answer.
I cut a friend's hair in anger, without any consideration.
Once while walking along a hill; I fell down out of carelessness and I broke my left arm.
Last week, my organization summoned an executive meeting and one of the executive member's pointed out a loop hole in the committee's administration.  He could not suggest any improvements, so I quarrelled with him.
The death of my father.
I was sitting in the bus and a man with a very unpleasant smell came and sat next to me, to top it all he smoked continously.
When I was in the canteen of the United college I mistook a stranger for a classmate as I was not wearing my glasses.  I realized that I had made this mistake when I saw him again carefully.
I got up late and I could not go to my lessons on time.  When I entered the class room the stare of the teacher and my classmates made me feel guilty.
Once at midnight, I was working alone at office and the phone suddenly rang.
When I was concentrating on my work, my friend disturbed me continously.  I asked him to stop but in vain.
I had asked the teacher to write a recommendation letter for me, but I had not provided enough information and had run short of time.
When I was talking to a person who is a hypocrite, I felt disgusted at his reaction.
My companion admired me when I did some work voluntarily.
My wrong behaviour made my loved one feel sad and uneasy.
When I received the higher level exam results, I mistook the grade E in mathematics for a grade F and I was shocked.
I had planned to study for my mid-term exams on a certain day and  my room-mate called me to ask me to go out for a stroll.  I tried to make an excuse so as not to go out but she refused to listen to me and insisted that I go out with her.  I find it unnecessary  to talk to her anymore.á
Due to some reasons my boyfriend and I decided to separate.
Once when I had started to write a paper, there was a phone call for me.  I had to go downstairs to receive it and after the conversation I discovered that all the information had disappeared from my mind.
When the teacher asked me a question, I did not know the answer and I just stood still for about a few minutes without saying a word.
Once when I was in the cell group (religious activity) I found that almost everyone in the group read the bible daily and I felt guilty in my heart.
Tutorial again !  A fearful feeling came to me when I sat on the chair and looked at my fellow students all around.  I was really scared that they would ask me some questions or challenge the ideas that I had presented.
The trick was really intolerable.  They hid it, and I was worried and restless all day.  When I saw them I really wanted to slap each one of them.
A and I were walking along the new Asia stairway to the Chung Chi college for our lecture and I saw him with her.  He put one arm around her shoulder and laugher brightly and joyfully.  I did not dare and did not want to look, just walked by them quickly.  The interest of talking to A disappeared and I just wanted to remain silent.  But I did not want A to know and so I left him and went to F.  I should have expected this to happen.
Knowing that I had to do the survey with him I felt very reluctant.  Although I do not know him I feel disgusted by just looking at him.  Thinking that the project lasted several days I regreted having joined that project.
During the lesson the teacher called me and asked me if I had reported that I was late.  I pretended that I had but looking at her eyes I knew that she knew that I was lying.  I thought that it was really bad luck that she had examined the list of the students who were late.
That evening when I opened the songbook while I was singing the song "Those were the days" that guilt feeling became stronger.  The lyrics described well - I was really wrong.  The wish that I had made was really bad. If she were with me I would really be happy and we would play happily together like the days in secondary school and she would not be disappointed and gloomy because of me.
My best frieend left school recently.  The next day the weather turned bad suddenly and the male class-mates turned off the lights.  I remained on the table and was scared.
I was scolded by my mother for no reason.
When I learnt that I had been betrayed by my friend.
When I dined with my new friends, one of them kept reminding us that he was superior.
While dining with some accquaintances I was asked something which I should have known but I did not know.
My friend came to the concert for my sake as it was me who had organized it and the concert was unsuccessful.
Waiting for the results of the High level examination.  I was afraid of not being accepted.
I had a date with a friend to see a movie and my friend was late.  I waited for a long hour and was very angry.
The quarrel between my  parents.
During the Chinese lessons a student often showed off. Moreover he misbehaved and dressed very badly.  So disgusting !
I saw a bag on the street and just then a stranger passed by.  I picked up the bag immediately and gave it to the stranger as I thought that it belonged to him.  But it was not his bag and I felt ashamed.
I refused to lend my homework to a friend.
Once, before I had learnt to swim, I stepped on a slippery slope where there was a lot of moss and I slipped into the water.  The water was very deep and I could not stand on my feet.  I sank and had to use a lot of energy.
[ No response.]
[ No response.]
One day when I was sitting in a not very crowded bus, a middle  aged woman was standing beside me.  The person sitting next to me got up to get off and this woman pushed me and occupied the seat.  Then she took off her shoes and put her feet on the seat.
[ No response.]
When I saw a horrible movie - Alien.
[ No response.]
In 1983, my results at the university entrance exam were very poor - far from what I had expected.   I thought that I would not be accepted at the university.
I am disgusted by people who spoil their identity because of misbehaviour.  This morning when I was in a crowded bus, I found a seat on which a university student was sitting on one side and he had put his bag and files next to him.  There was very little space left and I sat down while he kept on reading.  Even when I leaned on him he did not put his bag away.  He did not respond and I felt very angry.
During a lecture six students (including me) were asked to leave the class as we had not prepared for the lesson.  I felt ashamed and angry.
One evening I went fishing with some friends but we could not fish as a fisherman had already put his net there.  We pulled out the net to find only crabs in it so we threw the net away.  The net was large and may have cost $1000.  The fisherman used the net to earn a living and we had had thrown it.
The day before the university results came out I was both excited and scared.  If I failed I did not know what I would do as I did not want to work, my family was ambivalent.
Before the certificate examination I was very poor in Biology (the worst result in my class).  Ever since F.5 it had been getting poorer and poorer.  I had tried my best and had spent most of my time studying this subject.  Finally my results were so bad that I thought that it was just not fair.
My cat died from an illness.  It had been with us for 7 years.  It was a lovely cat.  It had been ill for one or two weeks and the veterinary surgeon had told us that it was dying.
In secondary school I had a class-mate who talked too much.   Once we went to the cinema after school and she sat next to me and commented the movie throughout  - very disgusting.
Our teacher had invited us to lunch and once at the canteen we started introducing ourselves.  Two of the boys showed a lot of interest in knowing personal details and then they started talking about some activities held in the college.  I had little interest in those activities so I talked to another student sitting next to me as I was afraid that they would ask me questions on those activities.
My younger sister wanted to take classes to learn a musical instrument.  One Saturday morning my mother asked me to go with        her for the registration.  I did not want to go  so I said that there might be many bad people at the club.  As a resullt my sister was scolded by my mother.
When I forgot the lines of the play during an orientation camp.
Before the department meeting my friend ate a dish that I had prepared for this meeting.
I had a very short term romance during the summer vacations.  When we first met I felt excited but I wanted to avoid him after we had met a few times and so I proposed that we stay apart, I felt very sad then.
I felt disgusted on seeing my boyfriend after our separation.  One day he was begging at the mass transit railway station and at that moment I hated him.
Acting in a play at the orientation camp made me feel timid.
I made my boyfriend so unhappy and depressed that I feel guilty.
My 80 year old grandfather underwent three successive operations during a single year.  The third operation was risky and I was scared that he would die and feared that my grandmother would be very sad.
My elder brother often criticizes my mother's cooking.  Once he did it very impolitely and lost his temper.  This made all of us very sad.  I was very angry and I scolded him.  He asked me not to interfere with what was his buisness.
When my grandfather died I was extremely sad.  However my family members did not have any special feelings, they said that he was already 80 years old.
I was an instructior in a youth organization.  Whenever we, the instructors would have a meeting the advisor would be present.  He did not understand our worknig conditions but talked a lot and had a lot of outdated ideas.  Whenever we disagreed with him he was very discontent and said that we had a prejudice against him.  Why did he have to treat us as his subordinates ?
When we received  our academic result I learnt that my  results were bad as I had not done my best.  The results of my accquaintances were good and when they asked me about my results I really did not want to answer.
When I was fighting with my elder brother I unintentionally hurt   him in the eye with a wooden bar.  I felt guilty and feared that he would be blind, fortunately he recovered after 15 days.
Fear of the turn that the examination paper would take as I lacked confidence.
Mr C took my drawing pens, without having asked for my permission first, and lost them.  He did not tell me about it till I asked him and then did not try to find them.
When I learnt that I had to repeat the first year, I found the solution immediately but was blocked by many difficulties.
My girlfriend lost her temper without any reason and she did not consider or respect my feelings.
After I had given the wrong answer to my students they pointed it out to me and I had to correct myself.
I prayed unfaithfully.
One day a fierce looking man came to our house  and said that my father should apologize to him, however I was alone at home.
My cassmate laughed at me when I was being scolded by the teacher.
I knew a girl so lovely that everyone would like her.  But she refused to accept my Christmas present and I tried to forget her.
I hate the behaviour of my so called friends, they use bad language, spit, boast and treat the youngsters badly.
When I was young my mother told the neighbour that I had wet the bed.  I felt ashamed thinking that the neighbour's children would get to know about it.
One day while we were strolling along the road one of my friends suggested that we go and watch a blue film.  I was curious so I went along but I felt quite guilty later.
One night we were having a barbecue on the beach and I needed to go to my car, which was far away from the beach.  It was very dark as there were no street lamps.  I ran in the dark, very scared, I ran as fast as possible.
[ No response.]
I separated with the one I liked most.  She refused all my dates and told me that she had dated another one.  My heart seemed to cease beating.  I was silent for some time and then I whispered goodbye and left without turning back.
When I was a teacher in an evening school, a girl raised a lot of questions and expressed her opinions.  She, very often, took a stand which was different from mine and she thought that it was better than mine.  Her opinions were helpful academically, but  she did not take into consideration my position in public.  Also she seemed to be very talkative and so she disgusted me.
I had lunch in a restaurant with a friend and I paid the bill.  The change was that of a two dollar and a ten cent coin.  As I was talking with my friend I took the two dollar coin and forgot to leave a tip.
I was cold to my sister without meaning it, just because I was upset and frustated.
After the interview for admission to the university and before the admission list was disclosed.  I was scared that I would not be admitted and my fear lasted for quite some time.  My fear disappeared only after the list was disclosed.
When I was studying in the library - preparing for a test, two people sitting next to me talked to each other for 20 minutes.  There were no other seats so I could not go elsewhere and I did   not want to interrupt them, so I could only be angry in my heart.
I had been separated from my girlfriend for about a year.  On her birthday I put a present in her mailbox.  I had spent two days choosing a suitable present for her.  I waited for a few days and there was no reply from her; at last I received a thank-you card in my mailbox.  On the card there was only my name, the words thank-you  and her signature.  I was very sad then.
When I was travelling to school by bus, I went past a place where a sewer had been repaired.  There was a bad strong smell which suffocated me and I wanted to leave the place immediately.
I received the results of the test paper of my major subject and I found that my result was not as good as a classmate who had recently changed his major subject.    I felt very ashamed.
I had promised myself that I would do one good deed every day.  One night I saw a beggar whose muscles had been atrophyed.  I walked passed him thinking that he was feigning.  Later I realized that he had not been pretending and I had a feeling of guilt as I had not kept my promise.
I remember that my form 2 teacher was very fierce and dogmatic.  My feet would tremble whenever I saw her but I had to face the fact that I had to go for her class.
One night I could not practise my violin as my family was watching T.V with the lights off, so I wanted to listen to some tapes.  It was dark so I asked my brother to bring me a torch, however he scolded me.  I was so angry that I slammed my violin on the floor.
My mother suffers from a mental illness.  One night she was not feeling well and was sent to the hospital.  I was scared that she would die, and all night I was very sad and did not dare to close my eyes.
At the crowded conditions of living.  I always quarrel with my elder brother as he puts the T.V volume at a deafening level and I can not practise my piano lessons.  Thus I feel that my home is disgusting.
I lost my temper at my mother while she was teaching me.  I felt ashamed and sorry at having hurt my loving mother.
I felt guilty at not having practised the piano.  I waste my teacher's time and guidance.
When I got the midterm exam results, the results were below average and were near the lowest.  I was scared of the final exam.
When I came back to my hostel, my bed was full of newspapers and dirty clothes.  My room-mate asked me to wash the clothes for him as he had no time (this was his responsibility).  The food we shared had been eaten up by him (I ate little).
My sister was impolite to my father when the family was having lunch together at a restaurant.  She thought that our parents had been prejudiced against her, this was an extreme thought.
When I was giving private tutorials to my student; he would not concentrate and was lazy.  He had not done the home work that I  had assigned and his academic level was very low.  It was a nuisance.
During a meeting I said something wrong and the others laughed at me.
I entered the hostel this year.  My mother was ill and could not move and needed people to look after her.  Every week I left home to go back to school, I felt guilty.
I feared that I would not be able to hand in the book-report on time as I had started working very late.  The book was difficult to read and my teacher did not accept my work as it was handed in late.
My classmate always borrowed my notes and would not return it to me on time.  When I had a test she was selfish and irresponsible and so delayed my studies.
When I found that my coldness had hurt somebody's sincerity.
When I was studying and someone disturbed me.
My teacher said that being university studets we did not have any self-initiative or self-control.
I took french leave to do my homework.
Looking for the toilet in a dark place.
I gave tutorial to a student and I found that he was lazy, he did not pay attention to what I taught.  He did some easy questions wrong deliberately.
I saw a lot of starving people in a T.V news report.
Our neighbour came and gossiped, about others, with my parents.
I promised a friend that I would return a book to it's owner for him , but I forgot to do it.
Saw a blue film in a cinema.
An hour before receiving the certificate results I was very frightened.  When I saw others crying I felt very tense and as time went by my fear grew.
My classmate used her personal relations to get a seat for a subject that I wanted also.  I had taken the pains to help him apply and I did not get selected.  I did not like this as he had not told me the facts earlier, he need not have lied to me.
When my mother went through an operation, it was not very serious but I was sad and could not sleep before the operation.
During a recent meeting, Mr. A showed his excitement and overindulged in the notes delivered.  Though his curiosity could not be blamed, his way of accquiring knowledge was an extreme behaviour e.g he always tried to know what I was reading and gained everything he could.
When I was doing my homework at home, some relatives came and advised me to help my mother do the house-work.
While quarreling with my brother I broke the glass door of the cupboard and a china doll.  We were scolded by my father for breaking the door but we did not tell him about the door.
An inter-college basket-ball match.
Something was stolen.
When I learnt that my close friend was going to immigrate.
When the summer holiday job was almost over.
During a meeting.
Failed to keep an appointment.
Once while crossing a road I was overcome with fear.
My intimate girlfriend told me that her father was opposed to our relationship  and had insulted my integrity.
When my studies are too demanding and I cannot cope with it.
The behaviour of people spitting everywhere.
I could not finish my homework on time.
After masturbation.
I was not prepared for the exam but I wanted to sleep the night before the exam.
Someone played a trick on me.
When the thing that made my friends and relatives sad happened to them.
It was a narrow and dirty passage which was located near the market and I had to stand there to wait for people.
I had something wrong, saying wrong things and being impolite to someone, and this had embarrassed the this person.  And I still meet the person.
I said something which was against my conscience.
The hero was chased by a terrible vampire in a suspense and horror film shown on T.V.
I worked with several classmates on a project.  I was very anxious about the project while my partners showed no concern  and when we had meetings on the project my classmates  did not pay any attention.  Some of them read books while the others argued on irrelevant questions.  The meeting would go on for two hours without the main theme being discussed.  We wasted time and could not reach a compromise.  My classmates avoided doing the work and the responsibilities, they seemed to value other projects more than this one.
One of my good friends had to migrate to America.  Our friendship had developed quite well and it was a pity as our friendship would fade.
In a study group, a person always liked to argue on some unimportant, irrelevant and minor points.  He tried to persuade    others in an unfriendly way.  He was obstinate and would not accept  other's point of view.
Once my presentation was the worst among my classmates as I had not prepared it well and had not seen it as important.  My presentation was so confused that it clearly showed my poor preparation.
I joked with an unfamiliar friend in an obstinate tone.  I was afraid of his misunderstanding me and being hurt and angry at me.  I felt sorry over my conduct and thought that I had to find an opportunity to apologize.
My friend and I had offended our classmate unintenionally.  We wanted to apologize to her so we decided to visit her.  We knew that she was stubborn so we were frightened.  When we rang her door bell, our fear was at it's climax
My girlfriend disliked it when I played majong (a game of gambling).  I expressed my regrets and when I went to see her she neglected my existance.  I was very angry and left in displeasure.
When I said good-bye to my girlfriend.  I had spent two years on developing this relationship and it was unsuccessful, I felt very sad.
My classmate got a "B" for his homework while I only got a "C".  When we got the results he acted as if he did not merit this grade.  I found that his humility was hypocritical and I found it disgusting.
Once in primary five, I had forgotten to take a book to class and the teacher punished me by asking me to stand at the back of the class.  I thought about the way my mother would react if she saw me being punished.  My mother was very good to me and though she did not see me punished, I felt sorry for her.
I had fixed a meeting with my classmates and I missed it as I was tired.  Besides everyone at the meeting was a stranger to me and I did not want to make friends with them.  Whatever the reasons - I  felt guilty.
I was camping in an old broken hut which had no lights.  I had brought along a lamp which was not working very well.  The door made strange sounds and I was sure that strange things were happening.  The most terrifying bit was that there were many wardrobes in the hut and everytime that I looked in the glass of the wardrobe I felt that there were "objects" behind me.   The whole night was spent in fear and restlessness.
During a football match, the other team was rude and they hurt my team members and me.  The coach was prejudiced against us and punished us unreasonably.  Later we fought with each other and the match had to be cut short.
I heard of the death of a closefriend of mine.  I had gone camping        with him shortly before his death and the whole thing seemed very  sudden to me.
A  group of youngsters dressed in fads talked foul language on a bus.  They also insulted the  pedestrians on the road and were impolite to the passengers of the bus.
In a Christian gathering's lucky draw I mistook a girl's name for mine (a boy's name).  I realized my mistake only when I went up to the stage for the prize.  I did not know what to do as everyone was looking at me.  I blushed and went back to my seat.
While playing basketball I broke a team member's spectacles.  His face was injured by the  pieces of glass.  It was not serious but I felt guilty and blamed myself for being too careless and vigorous in my game.
When I went home and there was nobody, I waited till 2 A.M and      still nobody.  I was suddenly scared and anxious as this had never happened before.  In addition my mother was very weak and I feared that she had met with an accident.  Therefore I was anxious  all night.
Yesterday I read in the newspaper that a 30 year old woman had abused her 2 month old son and had caused his death.  I was very angry after reading this as this is not a human act and to abuse so fragile a life is not a forgivable sin.
I had a schoolmate who went to the hospital as her brain was bleeding.  She fell unconscious for three days and when I went to see her I saw the miserable state the family was in.  Moreover I could not do nothing for her.  I was very sad.  Finally, she died.
A tiresome person held me up all day long.  I was very busy then (I can not remember what the problem was).  He continously tried to make me talk to him and disturbed me.
One day, when I was sitting on the bus, there was an old woman standing beside me.  I was very tired and sleepy and did not think of giving her my seat.  A 50 year old woman who was sitting beside me got up and gave her seat to the old woman and said,  " Old woman, please take my seat, the youngstters these days are not used to giving their seats to others."  When I heard these words I was very ashamed of myself and wanted to get off the bus at once.
After an exam I was in a very bad mood as I had done it very       badly.  At home, my mother took so long to ask me how things had  gone that I lost my temper.  I overreacted and made my mother cry. She still prepared lunch for me and did not scold me .  Suddenly, I thought that it was my fault and I started crying.  á
Whenever I am alone in a dark room, walk alone on the street, sleep alone in the room at night or see something which is only partly visible.  This emotion was very strong when as an 8 year   old child I saw something horrible.
[ Whenever I put myself in other's shoes and try to make the person happy, comfort him or make friends and I am misunderstood and rejected, especially when this person is a family member or a friend.]
There was a conflict of interest between me and a close friend of mine.  He only thought about his own interest and not about our friendship.  This behaviour hurt his friends.  Another incident is when a friend isolated himself without giving any reasons.
When I saw a lot of rubbish and animal waste on the floor.
When I was emotionally unstable I said things which may have hurt others or made them feel unhappy.  When I calmed down I realized that I had been selfish and had not taken into consideration the feelings of others.  Then I felt ashamed as someone pointed out my behaviour to me.
[ When I break someone's things out of carelessness, or do something  to make others feel unhappy  or hurt the self-esteem / self-confidence  of others, especially if they happen to be friends or family members.]
One day when I was a little boy, my friends asked me to play with them outside and to catch some boys.  However our parents did not know that we were out and when I got home it was very late and I feared being scolded by my parents.
When I learnt that a friend of mine had talked about me to another friend and had said wrong things about my abilities and attitudes.  I was very angry.
About two years ago my girlfriend suggested that we separate.  This really gave me a shock as I had never thought that she would say such things.  The reason she gave me was that we were not suited for each other.
Once while studying for my exam I found so many complicated words that it disgusted me.
When I was young I felt ashamed when our relatives visited us and I hid myself.
I was so excited once that I told my classmate that she was old, this hurt her and I felt guilty.
I am scared when I stroll alone on the Chung Chi college campus.
One day, I discussed a very important question with A.  A suddenly declared that he would not accept my position and thought that he himself was right.  Moreover, he attacked  strongly, not my opinion but me personally.
When I learnt that I had failed an exam,  This not only influenced my emotions but also other important tasks, it also made my record imperfect.
[ I would classify subjectively, a certain gesture or the way of talking of a person as disgusting or inacceptable.]
One day I felt dizzy during a lecture.  When the lecturer asked us as to who had heard the fairy tale - I was the only one who put up his hand and this surprised the whole class.
We always made a lot of noise during a certain lecture.  This may have been because we did not respect the lecturer. Finaly, the lecturer could not tolerate it and he scolded us angrily and pointed out our misbehaviour.
During the first year in university I had bad results in both the terms, especially the first term.  I was afraid that  I would not be promoted to the next year and that the others would go ahead of me.
Once my father slapped my mother for a small quarrel.
A few years ago my mother suffered from canccer and died within two years.  We had not finished our studies then and could not bear our responsibilities as her children.  My mother had tried her best to take care of us but she lived in pain these two years.  Neither the doctor nor we could do anything for her as cancer is incurable.  I was very eager to replace her in suffernig , even die instead of her.
I used to play with a group of classmates and I found out later that they were cheap in thought, behaviour and conduct - they would smoke, fight and speak foul language.  I thought that they destroyed the image of college students.
It was discovered that I had received a warning letter as my G.P.A was very low.
Many years back I quarrelled with my younger brother for a small reason.  I used a pole to beat him and nearly broke his arm.  He recovered after a treatment which lasted several months.  After this our relationship was worse and he would not listen to me.
The exam was drawing near and I wanted to prepare for it.  But I had a lot of other things to do so I did not have much time to prepare  for the exams.  Whenever I sat down to study I was scared that I would  not be able to finish it.
A female classmate was always late for meetings which were for the homework and not social gatherings.  We were very busy and the deadline was close but we had to waste half an hour or an hour waiting for her as we could do nothing else then.
After a meeting ended we started talking about when we would have the next discussion ( I had many tests the coming week and could not have a meeting in between, I thought that they would understand this as they had always done).  They did not understand my problem and thought that I should not have so many other activities.  Their reaction made me burst into tears.
When I was studying in the library a pair of lovers were sitting next to me talking in an intense and soft voice.  They were disturbing others.
During an informal discussion I contributed a lot even though I had not spent much time studying.  Whenever someone said that someone was not paying attention, or that he had too many other things to do, or that the persoon was not trying his best, I would feel ashamed.
Our class had organized a picnic in November.  I was the class representative so I became the organizor.  However the picnic was postponed by one week and I had something else to do then. Initially I did not ponder on what to do and decided to go for the picnic.  When I had the time to think about it I thought that my decision was wrong.  My classmates thought that I would go as I had signed my name but I did not go.  I told another class representative that I was not going but he did not know the reason behind my not going.  After the picnic my classmates asked me why I had not gone to the picnic and everytime someone mentioned it I was apologetic.  I should have decided right in the begining that I would not go and then they would not see me as irresponsible i.e promising to go and changing my mind afterwards.
The day the results of the certificate exam came out.  I went to school and at first I did not feel frightened.  By the time I reached the fourth floor ( the results were being given on the fifth floor) I found it difficult to walk and felt that I would die.
One day I had sunned my favourite shirt and was putting it back in the wardrobe when my younger brother snatched it from me and wore it.  He had not had a bath and was very dirty.  I scolded him but he answered back and locked himself up in a room.  I was very angry so I starteed kicking on the door and abusing him loudly and freely.
When I was a child I was playing on the upper deck of the bed with my brother.  My parents slept on the lower deck.  My father felt disgusted and beat me up.  I felt very sad as my father had never beaten me or scolded me before.
My boyfriend and I did not have any contact with each other during  the Summer holidays.  I met him the day of the registration and looked  through him.  In the canteen he asked me if I wanted to have a drink and  I said no as I did not want him to do me a favour.
On Christmas eve I went to a classmate's home with other classmates.  The next morning when I came out of the toilet she said something and I did not understand what she was saying.  When she pointed at my trousers I discovered that I had forgotten to zip them up.  I rushed back to the toilet but by the time the others had guessed what had happened.
One night,when I was in primary 5 or 6, I felt thirsty so I fetched the thermos to pour a cup of water for myself.  Then I saw my brother lowering his head and I, jokingly, poured the       water on his head.
I was on a trip to Phillipines during Summer and I was staying in a hotel.  The room I was staying in was very silent and had very dim lights.  The last night I felt frightened and lay awake - I could hear some sounds around me and dared not open my eyes - I waited for dawn.
I had a very good friend in secondary school.  The year after our graduation I prepared to celebrate her birthday and I called off all my appointments.  I got together the other friends and we were ready to give the entire day to her.  However this friend disappeared on her birthday.  When I phoned another friend I didcovered thay she was busy, I did not call her anymore.
I am a Christian but I cannot find any meaning in life . It seems that I am deceiving myself but I cannot find the way out.
A brother from one of the Christian fellowship often phoned me and talked to me for half an hour or more.  However there was nothing important in the conversation and I found the person very disgusting.
I felt shame when I found that I was almost last in the exam.
Once I bought my sister a pair of sports shoes as she was going to join an athletic meet.  However the shoes were a little big and had a few flaws.  She muttered all the way and blamed me for having wasted her money anf I felt guilty.
When I was young I got lost on the street and the police found me after a day.
My sister once stole my mother's money and made her very angry.  After this my mother would beat her up for unreasonable reasons.  One day my sister lent her book to a friend without telling my mother about it.  When my mother learnt this she beat her up and even threatened her with a pair of scissors.
My academic result was poor and I had to repeat the second year.  I felt sad about the coming several years.
My mother was always fastidious about my room, bed time, etc.  She treated us strictly and punished us physically.   These things were intolerable.
I misunderstood a girl and thought that she loved me.  One day when I was talking to her, her boyfriend appeared and I felt ashamed.
When I was in P3 I was always punished as I would forget to do my homework.  The first time that I was punished and not allowed to leave school, I slipped out of school.
One year, when I went to a camp, I was chased by a dog.  I tried hard and finally managed to escape from it.  My torch suddenly went off and we talked about ghost stories and I thought that there were ghosts.
When I was in F4 I played a basket-ball match against another school's team.  One of their team members kicked a team-mate of mine so I kicked him back and we had a fight with each other.
I received the mid-term exam paper of one of my major subjects and I found that I had failed it.
Once at a camp a classmate criticized me in front of others.  Now I find that this classmate is very disgusting.
When I was in F4 I led my class to a riot.  However the form master said that my conduct was good and asked me to tell him the names of those who had taken part in it.   I replied that I did not know.
I promised to join a meeting but did not turn up as I did not want to do the work.
I found a problem in homework which would not get solved although I tried my best.
I had a date with my girlfriend, the time and place had not been fixed.  I asked her to phone me an hour later as it was midnight and I did not want to disturb her family.  I waited several hours for her call, she did not call me that night.
When I found that my ability to do ordinary work was worse than my fellow mates.
I made friends with a classmate whose behaviour I did not like - he tried to flatter other people and did not respect me.
My guilty behaviour was found out by others.
When my behaviour was immoral - thinking about sex.
[ No response.]
I was a prefect at secondary school.  On the sports day I told others that I would take down the names of the people who misbehaved and after some time I sat down for a brief rest.  Suddenly the head prefect came and scolded me in front of others.  I was very angry as there were other prefects sitting and he picked on me.  I thought that a brief rest was not  serious enough to be blamed.
[ No response.]
I had joined a youth group that observed the affairs of our community and so I had many opportunities to contact the government and the committee members of the district board (a local executive structure).  We always tried to consult and discuss with them, but we found that such people did not understand community affairs and they even dampened our enthusiasm in local affairs.  I did not understand why they had decided to work as community leaders.
One day I was the leader of the weekly meeting of the Church fellowship.  That day I had been preparing for the exams and did not estimate the time to travel to the church right and I was twenty minutes late.  As I had not prepared well I led the meeting badly.  I was ashamed of myself.
I borrowed my classmate's notebook one week before the examination and I promised to give it back to her in two days time.  I was very busy at that time and forgot many things; as I was not very often at home she could not contact me.  When I started my revision I realized that her notebook had been on my desk for five days.  I contacted her immediately and gave it back to her.  Though she did not say anything I felt very guilty.
Once, when I was ten, I could not remember why my mother was so angry.  She fainted suddenly and I was very scared as I did not know what to do .
When I got into a bus I found that my wallet had been stolen. It was not a great loss from the monetary point of view but I lost some documents - identity papers.  As a result I had to spend several days in order to get a new one.  I will always remember all the work I had to do and the bad treatment I suffered because of the bureaucratic behaviour of the civil servant.  I had already had bad luck and they treated me like a criminal.   At one point of time I really wanted to quarrel with them.
I quarrelled with my younger sister because I had said something against her boyfriend.  Consequently she looked through me when she saw me as she thought that I was trying to separate them.  She had misunderstood me.
A few days back, I walked on a heap of faeces while walking on the road.  I got goose flesh because of this.
During the English lesson we were required to do a play.  A few days after doing it the teacher asked us to do it again at a meeting  and I forgot my part.
Once, my friend and I went to the Tai 60 to cycle.  My mother had told me not to go.  Unfortunately I broke my pectoral girdle and had to go to hospital.  When my mother  came to see me I felt guilty as I had not listened to her and I had to soon sit for a public examination.
At noon one Sunday I received a phone call telling me that my mother had been knocked down by a car at the street crossing and that her husband should go and see her.  I could not believe this as my father and my mother had gone out together to buy lunch boxes.  However I immediately ran to the scene of the accident.
The day the results of the Chinese university was announced I should have been very happy; however my grandmother, because of  her prejudice and misunderstanding, started a  quarrel with my mother.  She expected me to take her side and she deliberately talked of my mother's wrong doings.  I was very angry because - one my grandmother was not being reasonable and two because it should have been a happy day and three we had moved into a new house that day.
When I was in lower six class during the Summer I joined a research group of the Chinese university student union.  I knew a lot of CV students there.  A year later one of them was travelling in mainland China and he got T.B.  He died a few weeks after coming back to H.K.  We all got together for the funeral and when I looked at the body for the last time I felt extremely sad.
During these Summer vacations a schoolmate who was not in my class went to Britain.  Before he left, his classmates and some of us who were accquainted with him had a B.B.Q on the beach.  When I arrived I saw that some people , who were not close friends of the departing person(person A), were playing mahjong.  Some others were playing bridge and A had nothing to do, besides it was A who had prepared the food.  Later when we wanted to talk and his classmates did not even have the decency to listen to him.  They only asked him a few questions half-heartedly and then they talked on their own.  Some of their conversation was against me and  another classmate.
When I was in lower six I joined an interview group to interview the general public.  One of my friends in the group lost her purse and she was very nervous.  Five of us had to go another place so we left her, and planned to see her later.  Then I heard her describing how her purse looked.  I realized that I had seen her purse on the floor and had not wanted to do any thing about it.
I went to a friend's baptism as she became a Christian after me and I realized that she was more enthusiastic about her spiritual life than I was.  When I was with my brothers and sisters of Christ I had a guilty feeling which could not be dismissed easily.  When pepole asked me as to when I would be baptised my guilt feeling deepened.
One camping night, I listened to the ghost stories told by my classmates.
Last week I had planned to play tennis and had booked a tennis court.   However when I arrived at the university gym the clerk told me that the court was being used for lessons.
When I was ill and had to stay at the hospital for a period of time.
A few days back I was waiting for the bus at the bus stop.  Before getting into the bus I had prepared the exact amount of coins to pay for the bus fair and when I got into the bus I put these coins into the box meant to collect the bus fair.  I thought that I had paid and wanted to get inside.  However the bus driver called me and asked me in an impolite way if the coins were stuck at the opening  of the box.  He had not seen me paying and there wasn't a stack of coins in the box.  I could not understand this and the driver kept questioning me.  He made me feel angry and at last i inserted a dollar coin in the box just to get away from him.  Later I found that I had forgotten a few coins in my pocket and had not paid enough for the fair the first time.  After I had entered the bus I could still hear him scolding me and I felt disgusted.
A few days back I had a tutorial class and the teacher randomly assigned one person in each group to make a presentation.  The discussion in our group had been confused and the presentation was not very well prepared.  Unfortunately I was selected to present and I could not keep calm, was confused and result was very poor.  I really felt ashamed.
Once I quarrelled with my sister and after this I deliberately messed up her belongings.
After seeing a horror film - Omen.  I could not sleep at night  even though I closed my eyes.  The last scene of the film kept coming back to me, I seemed to hear the girls in the film shouting at the devil.  The devil did not have any expression on his face and I thought that he would choose me.
My friend often played a joke on me and sometimes I thought that he was a nonsensical person. Once when we went to a friend's house he walked in first and shut the door firmly behind him.  I felt that he did not respect me and moreover I was his friend so he should not have behaved like that.  I was very angry (as it is I was in a bad mood then).
I suddenly found that those whom I considerered to be my good friends did not care for me.  Although I could still be with them I felt unimportant.  I deeply thought about the reason behind this so as to see who was responsible for this.  Finally I made up my mind and decided not to expect too much from them.  I was sad when I decided that they were no longer my good friends.
I had a friend who was very kind to me.  I tried my best to like him and understand him but when I was with him I could not help rejecting, criticizing and blaming him.  I wanted to get away from him as soon as possible.
My teacher reminded us not to do a Summer job, however I did it for two months.  Yesterday I was chatting with my teacher and when we talked of the Summer job, I felt ashamed.
I wanted to get rid of a bad habit and it seemed that I had succeeded.  However a year later I got the bad habit again.  I felt  useless as I always found excuses to explain my behaviour.  As a result I felt guilty.
A boy phoned me at night and wanted to talk to me for 30 minutes outside.  I thought that he would reveal what he felt and would question me on our relationship.  I treated him as a friend and did not want any misunderstandings.  Therefore I refused to meet him and told him that I would see him the coming day.  I was very unhappy as I feared having hurt him and got him into trouble.
We had fixed time for practice as we had to participate in the inter-department song contest.  I arrived and found that there was nobody there.  When I went to the canteen I found them eating lunch.  I was so angry that I aired my greviances to one of them and then left.
A friend told me that he had suffered in love and in academics.  I shared his sadness.
A friend told me that a boy wanted to get to know me.  At that time I felt disgusted and thought that it was a nonsense thing.
One rainy day when the streets were wet, and as I was walking down a slope, I fell down out of my carelessness.  There were many people and they saw me, so I felt ashamesd.  Moreover I hurt my ankle and it was painful.
One night during dinner my nephew was naughty, so I quarrelled with my  parents.   I regreted this as my nephew was only two years old and I  had to tolerate him !  The quarrel made my father think that his children  may not take care of him in the future (it was a slip of the tongue and  this made me realize that my father keeps his thoughts to himself).  I was  still very angry so I dropped my bowl and chopsticks and went to the kitchen  to drink tea and then ran to the other side of the house.
When I was young I had gone to an old lift and played with the antique lift.  The guy discovered me and warned me, I was very frightened.
Whenever my father smokes the smell makes me feel very uncomfortable.  He never listens to my complaints and I curse him furiously in my mind.  I cannot solve this problem by violence because of traditional moral values.
My got my mathematics test's marks and could not believe that it was true.  In the past I would have at least 80% marks.  Was I getting weaker at studies ?  This made me feel that I should not expect too much from going to the university.
My friend and I worked for the community centre by holding a booth.  One day my friend went off to another booth to play.  This meant that I was very busy and could not maintain order.  His behaviour disgusted me.
When I was in a bus on my way to the examination centre, a man    sitting opposite me kept looking at me continously.  I did not know  what was wrong.  When I reached the  centre I started strolling around  as I still had a little time.  Suddenly a man came and whispered "You  have forgotten to zip up your trousers."  I was at a loss to say anything  and I felt very embarrassed.  When I thought of the bus incident I felt  even more ashamed.
At secondary school, one of my classmates lost her locker key.  During a class I saw two other classmates holding a key and talking secretly.  I do not know why I suspected them, also another classmate supported me.  He remembers that these people had only one key in the key-ring, this had seemed strange to him.  Besides another classmate said that he had seen them selling books at a book-shop and they should not have had such books.  I told the teacher and the person was caught.  He had sold the books and was forced to quit school.  I found that I had not helped him as he stole later on also.  I felt guilty
After listening to ghost stories with my classmates I had to back alone to the hostel at night.  I had to walk through a long and quiet road and I was scared of meeting a ghost.
I came across a girl at the school bus-stop, I had seen her several friends as she was a friend's friend.  However my friend had never introduced me to her and when she got off the bus I smiled at her but she did not respond pretending not to have seen me.  Her arrogant behaviour made me sick and angry.
My examination results were not satisfactory even though I had tried my best.  Then I started wondering about my abilities for the major subject.  However I did not know how to choose my major subject if I were to change it.
When my roommate and I had dinner together we decided as to who would clean the bowls.  One day when I came back from school I found that she had not cleaned up.  Since I had to cook dinner I cleaned them myself and felt unhappy and disgusted.
When I asked my classmate to teach me to do my homework, he asked me to study by myself first but I did not do it.  When he asked me  if I had studied, I felt very ashamed.
I escaped from communicating with God for a long time.  I did not read the scriptures and I did not pray.  I felt that I was getting further and further away from God.  I felt guilty as this was because of my laziness.
I did not do well in one of the subjects last term.   I was afraid that I would fail.  My result was a grade D, though it was not good I still passed.  I felt more comfortable then.
My friend half-teasingly called me a bad nickname.  I felt insulted and kicked his hip in anger.  I was stable later and did not feel angry at him.  In fact I was afraid that the other friends who were with us would think that I was an intolerant person.  However I could not apologize, so I pretended that nothing had happened and smiled when I left.  My friend did not say anything but just watched me leave.
Last night I did not do very well in one of the subjects.  Before the result was announced I feared that I would fail.  Finally I got a D and as the results of the other subjects were not all      good I felt a little sad.
Whenever I spoke to a female classmate I felt disgusted.  She said meaningless things and seemed to indicate something to me but I did not love/like her.
Once a female classmate told me that the clothes I wore seemed to be a child's clothes.  On hearing this I felt a little ashamed and I criticized her clothes though there was nothing wrong with them.
Once while playing tennis with my classmate I lost a few tennis balls.  I found one near the tennis court and took it to be mine despite thinking that it might belong to the student in the next court.  I felt guilty.  Later someone came to me to claim the ball and I gave it back to him.
At primary school the teacher caught me cheating during a dictation.
Someone spread rumours about me.
One night my father suddenly suffered from a heart attack which lead to breathing difficulties.
The curriculum of the year !   The English course was very heavy.  I had not prepared and the teacher asked several questions during class.  The students were not ready to answer the questions and the teacher was frustated.
I forgot to zip up my trousers, this was not noticed by anyone.
Peeping.
At night when I was alone at home (all the family members usually get together at that time) someone knocked vigorously on the door.
When I saw that my bed at the hostel was a mess I guessed that someone else had used my daily necessities.  I felt that my  personal sanity had been affected.
During the Physics experiment session I did not understand the content of the experiment and did not know how to do it.
A man sexually aggressed a small girl in the bus but the girl did not dare to speak out.
Being unable to stop urinating on the bus.
There were old people in a crowded bus and I did not have the courage to give them my seat.  I closed my eyes to sleep and then opened my book to read.  In my heart I wanted to give them the seat.
It was a week before the higher level results were announced.  I had tried and failed many times and this was the last time that I was taking the exam.  I knew that if i failed again I woulld have to enter the society.  I imagined things during this period - I dreamt that I had entered university and it was a nice experience.  When I thought about the future, an unexplainable fear rose in me.  I feared being a worker and not having a bright prospect, I also feared the criticism of my relatives as my brother had gone to university.  Whenevr I thought of this issue I could not eat or concentrate, and my heart beat increased.
The surname of my brother was different from ours.  He often grinned at home and provoked others for the pleasure of it.  This made me angry.
When I was in primary 6, my father died.  I was very young then and did not know what had happened.  The weeping of my relatives and my tears made me sad.
At hostel, my roommate was a very selfish person and would avoid doing anyhting that did not concern him.  A few of us prepared lunch together and had decided to share the work.  My roomate had promised to do the same but I had to wash the bowls everytime after dinner.  I tried to wait and thought that he would realize his fault.  I did not want to tell him to do the work as he is a university student and ought to have self-respect.  He disappointed me and so every time I saw him I tried to avoid him and did not want to keep any contact with him.
My friend had many female friends and I thought that they were his lovers.  I would scold him but he did not accept my advice.  Later I learnt from his girlfriends that this was not true.  I felt ashamed at having misunderstood him.
In the past I used to think that my mother was a very nagging person.  When I started living at the hostel we had little time to meet each other.  Whenever I went home she would take care of me.  I gradually realized that what she had done was for my own good.  So very time I saw her I felt guilty.
On Christmas eve,1984, I had just finished the exams and was afraid as the results of one of my major subjects had been very unsatisfactory.  I thought that I had only a 50% chance of passing.  Even if I failed this subject I would not need to repeat.  However I liked this subject very much and my results were bad because of my lazyness.  If I was forced to change to a minor in this subject I would be very unwilling.
In September 1984, I was forced to live with someone I did not like.  The first week we were at loggerheads and our conversation was like a debate.  The atmosphere was very bad.  When he learnt that I had got 95 marks in a test he told me " A failure, You lost 5 marks."   I was very angry, not because my marks were lower than his, but because I could not tolerate his pride.  I did not show my discontentment and carried on doing my work.
This issue worried me rather than saddening me.  In mid September I went to Guanggho alone.  I was looking for an accomodation in the evening and after having walked 2 or 3 miles I still could not find anything.  What could I do?  I was not worried about sleeping on the streets but because of some procedural problems.  I finally found a place to sleep at 8 o'clock.
My roommate liked to listen to some meaningless songs which had melody but had no content.  We lived together so when he played the recorder I was forced to listen to them.  I could not tell him that I did not like to listen to the songs, as I had no right to disturb the freedom of others.  So I would find a pretext to leave the room and go somewhere else.
Last Summer I went camping with some C.U students.  As I was working then, I had to leave the second night (some of them had joined us the first night).  Next morning, 6 o'clock, a female classmate knocked on our door and tried to wake us up.  I was not fully conscious and I said something which I should not have.  I realized the trouble I had made and wanted to hide.  Later I said sorry to her and the matter came to an end.
I lied to one of my best friends.
My parents were out and I was the eldest at home.  At midnight a male stranger phoned us and spoke to me in a rough language.  I hung up and heard someone walking outside our door.
Two years back someone invited me to be the tutor of her grand-daughter.  The grand-daughter asked me some questions in mathematics so I taught her.  However she did not listen to me and this made me feel unhappy.  The second year it was the same.  When I entered university the girl's parents suggested that I be employed as their daghters tutor.  They told me that at university  there was no homework and I would have a lot of time so they made a time-table  for me which required me to be the tutor five days a week.  They did not respect me and anyway I had another child to teach.
I had taken the responsibility to do something and I had prepared for it.  However I failed because of my timidity.  After three attempts I still could not adapt to the atmosphere and failed as before.  I felt imcompetent and felt that the others would think that I had not prepared for it.
I was at home and I heard a loud sound of spitting outside the door.  I thought that one of my family members would step on the spit and bring the germs in the house.
I did not do the homework that the teacher had asked us to do.  I was scolded immediately.
I had shouted at my younger brother and he was always afraid when I called out loudly.