cv175_7375.txt

capsule_NN
:_:
one_CD
of_IN
the_DT
ten_CD
worst_JJS
movies_NNS
ever_RB
made_VBN
._.
christopher_NP
lambert_NP
vs_IN
._.
evil_NN
ninjas_???
in_CD
modern-day_JJ
japan_NP
._.
._.
._.
and_CC
nobody_PN
wins_VBZ
._.
the_DT
hunted_VBD
is_BEZ
such_DT
a_DT
bad_JJ
movie_NN
,_,
so_RB
completely_RB
inept_JJ
and_CC
so_RB
totally_RB
brain-damaged_VBN
that_CS
i_PP
could_MD
almost_RB
feel_VB
affection_NN
for_IN
it_PP
._.
i_PP
could_MD
see_VB
myself_PPX
showing_VBG
this_DT
movie_NN
to_IN
friends_NNS
and_CC
getting_VBG
a_DT
good_JJ
jolly_JJ
guffaw_NN
out_RP
of_IN
it_PP
,_,
if_CS
it_PP
weren't_BED
also_RB
insanely_RB
xenophobic_JJ
and_CC
insulting_JJ
._.
christopher_NP
lambert_NP
plays_VBZ
a_DT
computer-parts_NNS
salesman_NN
who_WP
's_BEZ
on_IN
business_NN
in_IN
japan_NP
._.
he_PP
meets_VBZ
a_DT
slinky_JJ
young_JJ
woman_NN
(_(
joan_NP
chen_NP
)_)
and_CC
has_HVZ
a_DT
torrid_JJ
night_NN
of_IN
lovemaking_VBG
with_IN
her_PP$
--_???
and_CC
then_JJ
manages_VBZ
to_TO
witness_VB
her_PP$
death_NN
at_IN
the_DT
hands_NNS
of_IN
an_DT
evil_JJ
ninja_NN
clan_NN
and_CC
their_PP$
leader_NN
(_(
john_NP
lone_JJ
)_)
._.
apparently_RB
they_PP
had_HVD
some_DT
unfinished_JJ
business_NN
that_CS
could_MD
only_RB
be_BE
concluded_VBN
with_IN
her_PP$
getting_VBG
slaughtered_VBN
._.
since_CS
lambert_NP
is_BEZ
a_DT
witness_NN
,_,
he_PP
's_BEZ
of_IN
course_NN
the_DT
next_OD
one_CD
to_IN
die_FW
._.
let_VB
's_BEZ
stop_NN
and_CC
think_VB
about_IN
this_DT
for_IN
a_DT
second_NN
._.
if_CS
lambert_NP
were_BED
in_IN
real_JJ
life_NN
being_BEG
chased_VBN
by_IN
fanatical_JJ
devotees_NNS
to_IN
a_DT
ninja_NN
secret_NN
society_NN
,_,
he'd_???
have_HV
a_DT
lifespan_NN
you_PP
could_MD
only_RB
measure_VB
with_IN
an_DT
atomic_JJ
clock_NN
._.
in_IN
this_DT
movie_NN
,_,
the_DT
ninja_NN
manage_VB
to_IN
kill_NN
just_RB
about_IN
everyone_PN
except_CS
him_PP
._.
i_PP
imagine_VB
the_DT
japanese_JJ
gods_NNS
smiled_VBD
down_RP
on_IN
lambert_NP
and_CC
provided_VBN
him_PP
with_IN
a_DT
goof_???
field_NN
that_CS
radiates_VBZ
out_RP
about_IN
ten_CD
feet_NNS
from_IN
his_PP$
body_NN
._.
you_PP
know_VB
what_WDT
a_DT
goof_???
field_NN
is_BEZ
:_:
that_DT
invisible_JJ
zone_NN
in_IN
which_WDT
anyone_PN
who_NP
has_HVZ
intent_JJ
to_TO
do_DO
harm_NN
to_IN
you_PP
becomes_VBZ
a_DT
klutz_FW
no_DT
matter_NN
what_WDT
their_PP$
real_JJ
dexterity_NN
is_BEZ
._.
this_DT
is_BEZ
,_,
of_IN
course_NN
,_,
only_RB
the_DT
beginning_NN
of_IN
the_DT
movie_NN
's_POS
problems_NNS
._.
lambert_NP
eventually_RB
finds_VBZ
pseudo-safety_NN
with_IN
a_DT
long-haired_JJ
modern-day_JJ
samurai_???
(_(
yoshio_???
harada_FW
)_(
and_VB
his_PP$
partner_NN
--_???
yoko_NP
shimada_NN
,_,
who_WP
you_PP
may_MD
remember_VB
as_IN
lady_NN
toda_???
buntaro_NP
in_CD
shogun_NN
._.
they_PP
are_BER
the_DT
two_CD
best_JJS
things_NNS
in_IN
the_DT
movie_NN
;_;
in_IN
every_DT
scene_NN
they_PP
have_HV
authority_NN
and_CC
presence_NN
,_,
and_CC
they_PP
actually_RB
look_VB
like_IN
they_PP
belong_VB
here_RB
,_,
even_RB
when_CS
dressed_VBN
in_IN
full_JJ
samurai_???
armor_NN
and_CC
wielding_VBG
bows_NNS
._.
the_DT
script_NN
doesn't_DOZ
know_VB
what_WDT
the_DT
hell_NN
to_IN
do_DO
with_IN
them_PP
._.
lone_JJ
,_,
as_CS
the_DT
bad_JJ
guy_NN
,_,
is_BEZ
zero-dimensional_JJ
._.
the_DT
only_JJ
bad-guy_???
cliche_NN
he_PP
has_HVZ
to_TO
wallow_VB
around_IN
in_IN
is_BEZ
the_DT
one_CD
about_IN
how_WRB
the_DT
bad_JJ
guy_NN
always_RB
has_HVZ
exotic_JJ
women_NNS
dripping_VBG
off_IN
of_IN
him_PP
._.
in_IN
the_DT
hunted_VBD
,_,
this_DT
is_BEZ
elevated_JJ
to_TO
the_DT
level_JJ
of_IN
an_DT
insulting_JJ
stereotype_NN
._.
what_WDT
's_BEZ
funny_JJ
is_BEZ
that_CS
the_DT
peripheral_JJ
characters_NNS
in_IN
the_DT
hunted_VBD
are_BER
not_XNOT
sterotypes_NNS
--_???
there_EX
's_BEZ
a_DT
nice_JJ
little_JJ
scene_NN
with_IN
a_DT
tokyo_NP
cabdriver_NN
,_,
and_CC
a_DT
girl_NN
in_IN
a_DT
pachinko_NP
parlor_NN
--_???
but_CC
many_DT
of_IN
the_DT
main_JJ
characters_NNS
are_BER
unsalveageably_RB
hateful_JJ
._.
also_RB
,_,
the_DT
phenomenal_JJ
instrumental_JJ
troupe_NP
kodo_???
has_HVZ
assembled_JJ
a_NN
superior_JJ
soundtrack_NN
--_???
get_VB
the_DT
cd_NN
--_???
that_RB
manages_VBZ
to_IN
survive_VB
despite_IN
the_DT
drek_???
it_NN
's_HVZ
been_BEN
designed_VBN
to_IN
accompany_VB
._.
there_EX
is_BEZ
an_DT
extended_JJ
battle_NN
scene_NN
in_IN
the_DT
middle_NN
of_IN
the_DT
movie_NN
that_CS
is_BEZ
almost_RB
reason_NN
enough_RB
to_IN
watch_NN
the_DT
whole_JJ
thing_NN
--_???
a_NN
gory_JJ
,_,
excellently_RB
staged_VBN
fight_NN
on_IN
the_DT
bullet_NN
train_NN
that_CS
shows_VBZ
some_DT
real_JJ
imagination_NN
for_IN
a_DT
moment_NN
,_,
and_CC
then_RB
smothers_NNS
it_PP
by_IN
trying_VBG
to_IN
clumsily_RB
re-couple_NN
the_DT
whole_JJ
thing_NN
with_IN
the_DT
movie_NN
's_POS
relentlessly_RB
stupid_JJ
plot_NN
._.
by_IN
the_DT
time_NN
we_PP
get_VB
to_TO
the_DT
final_JJ
showdown_NN
,_,
with_IN
lambert_NP
getting_VBG
to_IN
wield_VB
his_PP$
own_DT
sword_NN
(_(
which_WDT
,_,
judging_VBG
from_IN
the_DT
ham-handed_JJ
editing_NN
of_IN
one_CD
scene_NN
,_,
was_BEDZ
forged_VBN
in_IN
seven_CD
hours_NNS
or_CC
so_RB
)_)
,_,
we_PP
no_DT
longer_JJR
care_NN
._.
we're_???
not_XNOT
even_JJ
given_VBN
any_DT
definitive_JJ
information_NN
about_IN
whether_CS
or_CC
not_XNOT
one_CD
of_IN
the_DT
key_JJ
characters_NNS
lives_NNS
or_CC
dies_VBZ
!_!
someone_PN
once_RB
said_VBD
that_DT
the_DT
key_JJ
to_IN
good_JJ
art_NN
--_???
good_NP
movies_NNS
,_,
good_JJ
books_NNS
,_,
whatever_WDT
--_???
is_BEZ
to_TO
start_VB
somewhere_RB
interesting_JJ
,_,
end_NN
up_RP
somewhere_RB
interesting_JJ
,_,
and_CC
show_VB
respect_NN
for_IN
the_DT
audience_NN
all_PDT
along_IN
the_DT
way_NN
._.
this_DT
movie_NN
bungles_NNS
two_CD
out_RP
of_IN
three_CD
,_,
badly_RB
._.