cv953_7078.txt

capsule_NN
:_:
combine_VB
one_CD
quart_NP
of_IN
raiders_NNS
of_IN
the_DT
lost_JJ
ark_NN
,_,
a_DT
dash_NN
of_IN
a_DT
jackie_NP
chan_NP
movie_NN
(_(
sans_FW
jackie_NP
)_)
,_,
two_CD
teaspoons_NNS
of_IN
gun-_???
and_CC
swordplay_NN
,_,
and_CC
a_DT
dollop_NN
of_IN
cgi_???
._.
simmer_NN
for_IN
100_CD
minutes_NNS
._.
yields_NNS
:_:
zilch_NP
._.
the_DT
phantom_JJ
is_BEZ
a_DT
depressing_JJ
and_CC
tired_JJ
retread_NN
of_IN
so_RB
many_DT
earlier_RBR
,_,
better_NN
movies_NNS
that_CS
after_IN
the_DT
fifteen-minute_NN
mark_NN
i_PP
started_VBD
cataloguing_NN
them_PP
out_RP
loud_RB
._.
it_PP
's_BEZ
hard_JJ
to_TO
make_VB
a_DT
good_JJ
action-adventure_NN
movie_NN
that_CS
doesn't_DOZ
simply_RB
recycle_VB
its_PP$
predecessors_NNS
,_,
and_CC
i've_???
seen_VBN
movies_NNS
that_CS
even_RB
at_IN
least_DT
did_DOD
the_DT
recycling_NN
gracefully_RB
._.
the_DT
phantom_JJ
,_,
allegedly_RB
based_VBN
on_IN
the_DT
long-running_JJ
comic_NN
of_IN
the_DT
same_DT
name_NN
,_,
doesn't_DOZ
even_JJ
bother_NN
to_IN
be_BE
graceful_JJ
._.
it_PP
's_BEZ
a_DT
stupid_JJ
and_CC
incompetent_JJ
movie_NN
in_IN
too_RB
many_DT
ways_NNS
to_IN
list_NN
,_,
but_CC
i'll_???
try_NN
._.
the_DT
film_NN
opens_VBZ
up_RP
with_IN
a_DT
"_"
prelude_NN
"_"
sequence_NN
that_CS
looks_VBZ
like_IN
it_PP
was_BEDZ
slashed_VBN
to_IN
ribbons_NNS
in_IN
the_DT
editing_NN
and_CC
then_RB
given_VBN
a_DT
heavy_JJ
voice-over_NN
to_IN
compensate_VB
for_IN
whatever_WDT
got_VBD
thrown_VBN
out_RP
._.
we_PP
go_VB
from_IN
there_RB
to_IN
a_DT
jungle_NN
sequence_NN
that_CS
,_,
i_PP
swear_VB
to_TO
god_NN
,_,
recycles_NNS
the_DT
truck-chase_NN
scene_NN
from_IN
raiders_NNS
of_IN
the_DT
lost_JJ
ark_NN
note-for-note_JJ
,_,
possibly_RB
even_RB
shot-for-shot_JJ
,_,
right_JJ
down_IN
to_IN
the_DT
moment_NN
where_CS
indy_???
wrenched_JJ
open_JJ
the_DT
door_NN
and_CC
slung_VBD
one_CD
of_IN
the_DT
drivers_NNS
out_RP
into_IN
the_DT
brush_NN
--_???
and_CC
then_JJ
goes_VBZ
on_IN
to_IN
rip_???
off_IN
the_DT
rope-bridge_NN
scene_NN
from_IN
"_"
sorcerer_NN
"_"
as_IN
well_RB
!_!
sorcerer_NN
,_,
as_CS
you_PP
may_MD
well_RB
remember_VB
,_,
was_BEDZ
a_DT
remake_VB
of_IN
a_DT
french_JJ
movie_NN
,_,
the_DT
wages_NNS
of_IN
fear_NN
,_,
in_IN
which_WDT
a_DT
bunch_NN
of_IN
lowlifes_NP
were_BED
paid_VBN
piles_NNS
of_IN
money_NN
to_IN
drive_NN
a_DT
truck_NN
loaded_VBN
with_IN
nitro_NP
through_IN
horrible_JJ
jungle_NN
terrain_NN
._.
both_RB
versions_NNS
of_IN
that_DT
movie_NN
were_BED
far_RB
more_RBR
interesting_JJ
than_CS
this_DT
flick_NN
,_,
but_CC
i've_???
got_VBD
my_PP$
job_NN
to_IN
do_DO
,_,
so_RB
back_RP
to_IN
the_DT
salt_NN
mines_NNS
we_PP
go_VB
._.
anyway_RB
,_,
the_DT
cinematic_JJ
theft_NN
doesn't_DOZ
stop_VB
there_RB
._.
or_CC
at_IN
least_DT
the_DT
lack_NN
of_IN
inspiration_NN
._.
there_EX
isn't_BEZ
a_DT
single_JJ
thing_NN
here_RB
we_PP
haven't_HV
seen_VBN
,_,
and_CC
it_PP
's_BEZ
not_XNOT
given_VBN
to_IN
us_NP
in_IN
a_DT
way_NN
that_CS
remotely_RB
evokes_NNS
our_PP$
interest_NN
._.
we_PP
have_HV
(_(
where_CS
's_BEZ
my_PP$
list_NN
?_?
)_)
a_DT
bad_JJ
girl_NN
,_,
a_DT
tough_JJ
good_JJ
girl_NN
,_,
a_DT
secret_JJ
cave_NN
hideaway_NN
(_(
which_WDT
seems_VBZ
inspired_JJ
more_DT
by_IN
dr_NN
._.
no_DT
than_CS
anything_PN
else_RB
)_)
,_,
a_DT
boardroom_NN
meeting_NN
that_CS
drips_NNS
with_IN
greed_NN
and_CC
venality_NN
,_,
magical_JJ
artifacts_NNS
of_IN
terrible_JJ
power_NN
,_,
and_CC
cary-hiroyuki_???
tagawa_NP
wasted_VBD
in_IN
another_DT
stupid_JJ
role_NN
where_CS
he_PP
gets_VBZ
to_IN
wear_NN
a_DT
fu_???
manchu_NP
mustache_NN
and_CC
sneer_NN
a_DT
lot_NN
and_CC
generally_RB
humiliate_VB
himself_PPX
._.
what_WDT
else_RB
is_BEZ
there_EX
?_?
the_DT
plot_NN
is_BEZ
a_DT
waste_NN
of_IN
time_NN
._.
the_DT
sets_NNS
alternate_VB
between_IN
big_JJ
but_CC
hokey_NN
--_???
and_CC
tiny_JJ
and_CC
still_RB
hokey_NP
._.
there_EX
are_BER
lines_NNS
in_IN
the_DT
script_NN
that_CS
are_BER
just_RB
begging_VBG
to_IN
be_BE
mst3ked_JJ
--_???
and_CC
i'm_???
sure_JJ
once_CS
mike_NP
and_CC
the_DT
'bots_NNS
get_VB
the_DT
cash_NN
,_,
they'll_???
stick_NN
it_PP
on_IN
their_PP$
sked_???
._.
the_DT
only_JJ
thing_NN
in_IN
the_DT
movie_NN
worth_IN
noting_VBG
is_BEZ
billy_NP
zane_???
--_???
he_PP
's_MD
a_DT
good_JJ
actor_NN
,_,
and_CC
he_PP
tries_VBZ
very_RB
hard_JJ
,_,
even_RB
when_CS
the_DT
script_NN
is_BEZ
sending_VBG
him_PP
down_RP
one_CD
dead_JJ
alley_NN
of_IN
a_DT
scene_NN
after_IN
another_DT
._.
all_PDT
i_PP
can_MD
say_VB
is_BEZ
that_CS
i_PP
pray_VB
this_DT
isn't_BEZ
the_DT
beginning_NN
of_IN
the_DT
end_NN
for_IN
him_PP
--_???
although_CS
it_NN
sure_JJ
looks_VBZ
like_IN
the_DT
final_JJ
nail_NN
in_IN
the_DT
coffin_NN
for_IN
the_DT
comic-book_NN
super-hero_NP
movie_NN
._.