Migrate to local relay model

[alltheseas]

-mitigates for malicious relay returning notes not associated with the user of interest per #1846
-provides performance improvements

[alltheseas]

is this one in progress @jb55 ?

[jb55]

I have this:

• Update nostrdb, switch to local relay model #2121

but I may break it down the PR into the nostrdb update first so we can at least do

• Load contact list from nostrdb #1734

which may help

• Confirm contact list creation during account creation #2057

[jb55]

I duplicated this issue:

• Local Relay Model (nostrdb) #2041

Closing this in favor of that