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shower-thoughts.json
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shower-thoughts.json
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[
{
"text": "Whoever created the tradition of not seeing the bride in the wedding dress beforehand saved countless husbands everywhere from hours of dress shopping and will forever be a hero to all men.",
"upvotes": 219181,
"author": "Yorkshire45",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/aonp75/whoever_created_the_tradition_of_not_seeing_the/"
},
{
"text": "We laugh at dogs getting excited when they hear a bark on TV, but if TV was a nonstop stream of unintelligible noises and then someone suddenly spoke to you in your language, you'd be pretty fucking startled too.",
"upvotes": 182162,
"author": "Biles",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/ek33p5/we_laugh_at_dogs_getting_excited_when_they_hear_a/"
},
{
"text": "When you're a kid, you don't realize you're also watching your mom and dad grow up.",
"upvotes": 173468,
"author": "zjb55446",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/awd10u/when_youre_a_kid_you_dont_realize_youre_also/"
},
{
"text": "Dads probably bond with dogs so much because, in our society, men don’t get shown a lot of affection but dogs give tons of affection regardless",
"upvotes": 160087,
"author": "bypirates_myman",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/com04g/dads_probably_bond_with_dogs_so_much_because_in/"
},
{
"text": "Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self acceptance.",
"upvotes": 152601,
"author": "RodzRodzRodz",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/g4d0ij/being_able_to_tolerate_the_sound_of_your_own/"
},
{
"text": "Girls don't compliment guys because they're likely to take it non-platonically, guys take it non-platonically because it happens so infrequently they don't know how to handle it",
"upvotes": 144374,
"author": "belly_bell",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/ah48kq/girls_dont_compliment_guys_because_theyre_likely/"
},
{
"text": "If elevators hadn't been invented, all the CEOs and important people would have their offices on the first floor as a sign of status.",
"upvotes": 143104,
"author": "[deleted]",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/enw8rz/if_elevators_hadnt_been_invented_all_the_ceos_and/"
},
{
"text": "If EA suffers big enough losses from the backlash of Battlefront 2, and it all started because some guy couldn't unlock Vader, this will be the second time Anakin brought balance to something.",
"upvotes": 139490,
"author": "Fourohfourscore",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/7d1kop/if_ea_suffers_big_enough_losses_from_the_backlash/"
},
{
"text": "Being able to do well in high school without having to put in much effort is actually a big disadvantage later in life.",
"upvotes": 139446,
"author": "[deleted]",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/a400tw/being_able_to_do_well_in_high_school_without/"
},
{
"text": "During a nuclear explosion, there is a certain distance of the radius where all the frozen supermarket pizzas are cooked to perfection.",
"upvotes": 138498,
"author": "Raghnarok",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/e0omqn/during_a_nuclear_explosion_there_is_a_certain/"
},
{
"text": "Anxiety is like when video game combat music is playing but you can't find any enemies.",
"upvotes": 137936,
"author": "Canadaba11",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/7mhv6a/anxiety_is_like_when_video_game_combat_music_is/"
},
{
"text": "Pavlov probably thought about feeding his dogs every time someone rang a bell.",
"upvotes": 137705,
"author": "pyro925",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/dy1no2/pavlov_probably_thought_about_feeding_his_dogs/"
},
{
"text": "11 babies have been born in Antarctica, and none of them died as infants, meaning Antarctica has the lowest infant mortality rate at 0%",
"upvotes": 137297,
"author": "pluey200",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/ad1ppe/11_babies_have_been_born_in_antarctica_and_none/"
},
{
"text": "We do not check the refrigerator multiple times to find new food, we check to see if our standards have dropped enough to eat what was available.",
"upvotes": 129672,
"author": "Cryptic_Cosmos",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/in07hy/we_do_not_check_the_refrigerator_multiple_times/"
},
{
"text": "The sentence \"Don't objectify women\" has \"women\" as the object of the sentence.",
"upvotes": 127313,
"author": "Stormfly",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/9h5p8v/the_sentence_dont_objectify_women_has_women_as/"
},
{
"text": "Somebody at google was just like \"yea, just have someone drive down every road on fucking earth\".",
"upvotes": 126543,
"author": "LifeInKernelSpace",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/7h9y6v/somebody_at_google_was_just_like_yea_just_have/"
},
{
"text": "College students don't want to go to graduation ceremonies, but they go to please their relatives, while relatives don't want to go but go to support the students; we should all just be honest and skip that ceremony and go out for pizza.",
"upvotes": 125488,
"author": "SightlessSenshi",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/7o6kn8/college_students_dont_want_to_go_to_graduation/"
},
{
"text": "There is probably at least one white guy, adopted and raised in China, who speaks English with a Chinese accent and strangers just assume he’s a total asshole",
"upvotes": 124614,
"author": "LordMetrognome",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/c0tucx/there_is_probably_at_least_one_white_guy_adopted/"
},
{
"text": "Apparently, a lemon is not naturally occurring and is a hybrid developed by cross breeding a bitter orange and a citron. Life never gave us lemons; we invented them all by ourselves.",
"upvotes": 123380,
"author": "TripleRangeMerge",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/9401u1/apparently_a_lemon_is_not_naturally_occurring_and/"
},
{
"text": "Being 35 and not wanting to work in the field for which you've prepared is like being half way through an RPG and realizing you've built out your skill tree all wrong and you can't respec and you can't make a new character and there will never be another video game again",
"upvotes": 122316,
"author": "themadpooper",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/7ox9b3/being_35_and_not_wanting_to_work_in_the_field_for/"
},
{
"text": "Gummy worms have more bones in them than actual worms.",
"upvotes": 122204,
"author": "edgememeston",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/juua27/gummy_worms_have_more_bones_in_them_than_actual/"
},
{
"text": "It would be cool if after you died you could see the top 5 times you almost died.",
"upvotes": 122025,
"author": "TerminalGay",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/atfp74/it_would_be_cool_if_after_you_died_you_could_see/"
},
{
"text": "It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly",
"upvotes": 121820,
"author": "Aristea84",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/7cif01/it_kinda_makes_sense_that_the_target_audience_for/"
},
{
"text": "Avatar, the highest grossing film of all time, seems to have made zero impact on culture. No one references the movie and no one really talks about it since it was released 10 years ago.",
"upvotes": 121565,
"author": "SilentWalrus92",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/akoj7e/avatar_the_highest_grossing_film_of_all_time/"
},
{
"text": "A guy named \"Weird Al\" has had a 40+ year long career with no allegations of sexual impropriety.",
"upvotes": 120957,
"author": "BillionTonsHyperbole",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/9ak0d0/a_guy_named_weird_al_has_had_a_40_year_long/"
},
{
"text": "We all think of Gordon Ramsay as an extremely picky food critic/chef but if your life's work was cooking and you saw a narcissistic restaurant manager breaking health code violations and making horrible food, you'd be pretty angry too.",
"upvotes": 120470,
"author": "Headache07",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/exc396/we_all_think_of_gordon_ramsay_as_an_extremely/"
},
{
"text": "In the anime, Ash Ketchum was supposed to be a huge Pokémon fan before he left on his journey. But every time he sees any kind of Pokémon, he has to pull out his Pokédex because he doesn’t know what it is. Ash Ketchum was a poser before he left on his journey.",
"upvotes": 119123,
"author": "ProdigyLightshow",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/aht7l3/in_the_anime_ash_ketchum_was_supposed_to_be_a/"
},
{
"text": "Since there are 3600 seconds in an hour, and most people make less than $36.00/hr, their time is worth less than a penny per second. It's literally worth your time to pick up a penny from the ground.",
"upvotes": 116857,
"author": "ThatOneRoadie",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/8rm5jz/since_there_are_3600_seconds_in_an_hour_and_most/"
},
{
"text": "The syllables in “on your mark, get set, go” are a countdown",
"upvotes": 116360,
"author": "ManGood2002",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/apmsqk/the_syllables_in_on_your_mark_get_set_go_are_a/"
},
{
"text": "Security at every level of an airport is absolutely ridiculous. Until you get to the baggage claim. Then it’s just like take whatever bag you want.",
"upvotes": 115900,
"author": "PainMatrix",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/71xyoh/security_at_every_level_of_an_airport_is/"
},
{
"text": "Being a real grown up isn’t cooking a fancy dinner, it’s having a clean kitchen when you go to bed after cooking a fancy dinner.",
"upvotes": 115866,
"author": "sarahp1988",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/dswsum/being_a_real_grown_up_isnt_cooking_a_fancy_dinner/"
},
{
"text": "Most of the trash you see on the ground is unhealthy food packaging because people who don’t care about their own health don’t care about the Earth’s either.",
"upvotes": 115623,
"author": "ScoopOfWhat",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/i7a5vn/most_of_the_trash_you_see_on_the_ground_is/"
},
{
"text": "Lamps in Videogames use real electricity.",
"upvotes": 115387,
"author": "1Ferrox",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/e2x6mo/lamps_in_videogames_use_real_electricity/"
},
{
"text": "Reddit Is Killing Third-Party Applications (And Itself)",
"upvotes": 115120,
"author": "Showerthoughts_Mod",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/147e6hs/reddit_is_killing_thirdparty_applications_and/"
},
{
"text": "Coffee makes you hyper, but coffee shops are designed for people to chill, whereas alcohol is a depressant but bars and clubs are designed for people to be energetic.",
"upvotes": 114963,
"author": "ybarraymapea",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/bawsok/coffee_makes_you_hyper_but_coffee_shops_are/"
},
{
"text": "Night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.",
"upvotes": 114580,
"author": "[deleted]",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/c79pyg/night_before_a_day_off_is_more_satisfying_than/"
},
{
"text": "Stan Lee’s funeral is going to be a reverse cameo where all the superheroes appear in the background of his story",
"upvotes": 112880,
"author": "Adamb1403",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/9whjzx/stan_lees_funeral_is_going_to_be_a_reverse_cameo/"
},
{
"text": "Humans cannot even live in harmony with their own species and somehow still convince themselves that meeting an extra-terrestrial species would go smoothly",
"upvotes": 112753,
"author": "[deleted]",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/m1cutd/humans_cannot_even_live_in_harmony_with_their_own/"
},
{
"text": "The internet both almost killed off the postal service with email and then made it more needed than ever with online delivery",
"upvotes": 111779,
"author": "cinimodhtrifhtims",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/agk6o8/the_internet_both_almost_killed_off_the_postal/"
},
{
"text": "The spiders that live in Buckingham Palace now are probably the descendants of the spiders that lived there during Victorian times - it's a whole parallel royal family but with spiders",
"upvotes": 111237,
"author": "tylerolo",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/9y66d1/the_spiders_that_live_in_buckingham_palace_now/"
},
{
"text": "Manuals for TVs are regarded as useless, but in five thousand years they are as valuable as the Rosetta Stone: it contains the same text in over 20 different languages and alphabets.",
"upvotes": 111076,
"author": "Thanos_meant_it_well",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/ej0lxx/manuals_for_tvs_are_regarded_as_useless_but_in/"
},
{
"text": "Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.",
"upvotes": 111042,
"author": "kioshi43",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/d8d0gc/biting_your_tongue_while_eating_is_a_perfect/"
},
{
"text": "If Eminem’s Mom wanted to she could probably make a good amount of money selling her own spaghetti sauce",
"upvotes": 110963,
"author": "justjoshingiu",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/e3zpn3/if_eminems_mom_wanted_to_she_could_probably_make/"
},
{
"text": "The biggest form of peer pressure as a kid wasn’t drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes. It came during exams when it was completely silent and you heard everyone turn to page 2 while you were still on the first question.",
"upvotes": 110766,
"author": "Prophettx",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/dvcjld/the_biggest_form_of_peer_pressure_as_a_kid_wasnt/"
},
{
"text": "Both sexes can fuck a Pringles can, but neither can do it well.",
"upvotes": 109021,
"author": "[deleted]",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/apijhz/both_sexes_can_fuck_a_pringles_can_but_neither/"
},
{
"text": "We give rude elderly people the benefit of the doubt because they've been through a lot, but there's a decent chance that old person has been an asshole their whole life.",
"upvotes": 109014,
"author": "EdwardNippleclamps",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/d91xzy/we_give_rude_elderly_people_the_benefit_of_the/"
},
{
"text": "Google earth is one of the most incredible things ever created by man but is taken for granted as if it were nothing.",
"upvotes": 108493,
"author": "RiccRoll",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/afkmpn/google_earth_is_one_of_the_most_incredible_things/"
},
{
"text": "Thermometers are speedometers for atoms",
"upvotes": 108139,
"author": "[deleted]",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/cb0tv9/thermometers_are_speedometers_for_atoms/"
},
{
"text": "One of the most frustrating feelings in the world is being smart enough to know there’s a better way to do something but not smart enough to invent a way to do it.",
"upvotes": 107889,
"author": "[deleted]",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/9l5blg/one_of_the_most_frustrating_feelings_in_the_world/"
},
{
"text": "As a kid, teenagers seemed so big and scary because in most TV shows they were actually played by adults in their 20s.",
"upvotes": 107012,
"author": "Mbogdan00",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/et95vn/as_a_kid_teenagers_seemed_so_big_and_scary/"
},
{
"text": "Smoking kills you, but the actual “act” of smoking is a very healthy practice - leave a stressful environment, go outside for five minutes and take deep breaths.",
"upvotes": 107009,
"author": "nyquiljordan",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/cgk4zg/smoking_kills_you_but_the_actual_act_of_smoking/"
},
{
"text": "Tinder is the opposite of porn site advertisements. There actually are a ton of hot singles in my area, but none of them are interested in me.",
"upvotes": 106710,
"author": "kidkolumbo",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/612f0c/tinder_is_the_opposite_of_porn_site/"
},
{
"text": "People who jog on the roads in the dark, wearing dark clothing and no lights or reflectors are a unique combination of a person who cares about their health and well-being and doesn’t care about their health and well-being.",
"upvotes": 106613,
"author": "MrSeverum",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/lmj453/people_who_jog_on_the_roads_in_the_dark_wearing/"
},
{
"text": "The implication of a hotdog being puréed meat in animal casing (intestine) is that a hotdog doesn’t stop being a hotdog even after we eat it. By that conclusion, we, as the hotdog’s casing, become hotdogs ourselves when we eat hotdogs.",
"upvotes": 106579,
"author": "applepie1000",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/hfr7iw/the_implication_of_a_hotdog_being_puréed_meat_in/"
},
{
"text": "Superman’s most unappreciated power is his extraordinary fine motor skill. He has almost unlimited strength and can literally move mountains, yet is also able to shake someone’s hand without inadvertently ripping off their arm.",
"upvotes": 106111,
"author": "CapnFancyPants",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/iaqv5o/supermans_most_unappreciated_power_is_his/"
},
{
"text": "In the Harry potter universe, couples could take polyjuice potion and swap bodies then have sex to see what it's like from both perspectives.",
"upvotes": 105860,
"author": "xlillinxysx",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/a2jbbi/in_the_harry_potter_universe_couples_could_take/"
},
{
"text": "Watching a graduation ceremony is like sitting through a movie thats entirely end credits",
"upvotes": 104880,
"author": "definitelyusername",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/8kgaxj/watching_a_graduation_ceremony_is_like_sitting/"
},
{
"text": "The kids growing up gaming on tablets are going to have all the internet addiction without any of the computer skills.",
"upvotes": 104471,
"author": "Sup3rPotatoNinja",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/ig6oh8/the_kids_growing_up_gaming_on_tablets_are_going/"
},
{
"text": "You know you’re an adult when you miss trash day and it ruins your entire week.",
"upvotes": 104276,
"author": "frickafreshhh",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/lynbbe/you_know_youre_an_adult_when_you_miss_trash_day/"
},
{
"text": "In a span of a few years our parents go from telling us \"sex is bad\" to \"I want grandkids\"",
"upvotes": 104056,
"author": "BeerBeily",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/gj54t1/in_a_span_of_a_few_years_our_parents_go_from/"
},
{
"text": "On a galactic scale, amber and pearl are far rarer than gold and diamonds because they require life.",
"upvotes": 103665,
"author": "15_Redstones",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/jc6ukw/on_a_galactic_scale_amber_and_pearl_are_far_rarer/"
},
{
"text": "It must suck to be an air conditioner repairman. You spend your day working in buildings that have no air conditioning. When it's fixed and finally cool, you leave.",
"upvotes": 102996,
"author": "SoDakMax",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/6qsn69/it_must_suck_to_be_an_air_conditioner_repairman/"
},
{
"text": "The Porn sites in the Star Wars Universe must have sooooo many categories.",
"upvotes": 102742,
"author": "blendergremlin",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/cusgqj/the_porn_sites_in_the_star_wars_universe_must/"
},
{
"text": "The fact that the death of a scientist is headline news worldwide is in some ways the most fitting tribute Stephen Hawking could possibly have.",
"upvotes": 102598,
"author": "jasontredecim",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/84bzoi/the_fact_that_the_death_of_a_scientist_is/"
},
{
"text": "Running from the cops is the ultimate double or nothing.",
"upvotes": 102284,
"author": "PBCaptnCrunch",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/aq9iut/running_from_the_cops_is_the_ultimate_double_or/"
},
{
"text": "Talent shows like Britain's got talent become much more disturbing when you realise that it's just 4 rich people dangling money in front of poor people and telling them to dance for their entertainment.",
"upvotes": 102199,
"author": "matthiasjreb",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/axsocq/talent_shows_like_britains_got_talent_become_much/"
},
{
"text": "When people brokenly speak a second language they sound less intelligent but are actually more knowledgeable than most for being able to speak a second language at all.",
"upvotes": 102188,
"author": "CaptainChloro",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/a1zjj2/when_people_brokenly_speak_a_second_language_they/"
},
{
"text": "There is no physical evidence to say that today is Wednesday, we all just have to trust that someone has kept count since the first one ever.",
"upvotes": 102103,
"author": "WastedTalent442",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/87qaa5/there_is_no_physical_evidence_to_say_that_today/"
},
{
"text": "The tallest person in the world has physically experienced being the exact height of every other person in the world at some point",
"upvotes": 102017,
"author": "SilphRoadPokemon",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/aidwr0/the_tallest_person_in_the_world_has_physically/"
},
{
"text": "Your future self is talking shit about you",
"upvotes": 101784,
"author": "[deleted]",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/8ti8k6/your_future_self_is_talking_shit_about_you/"
},
{
"text": "The first person who inhaled helium must have been so relieved when the effects wore off",
"upvotes": 101740,
"author": "marchillo",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/98w870/the_first_person_who_inhaled_helium_must_have/"
},
{
"text": "Baby Yoda's first word probably came after his second word",
"upvotes": 101109,
"author": "illusion91121",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/e6ge95/baby_yodas_first_word_probably_came_after_his/"
},
{
"text": "At the age of 60, Snoop Dogg will be 420 in dog years",
"upvotes": 100832,
"author": "[deleted]",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/7nadkz/at_the_age_of_60_snoop_dogg_will_be_420_in_dog/"
},
{
"text": "Placing hand sanitizers in elevators would probably increase there usage simply because people have nothing else to do.",
"upvotes": 100740,
"author": "purple-parrots",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/ffmoxm/placing_hand_sanitizers_in_elevators_would/"
},
{
"text": "Being an adult is eating the crust not because you like it, but because you paid for it.",
"upvotes": 100317,
"author": "Jonshno",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/aarf0o/being_an_adult_is_eating_the_crust_not_because/"
},
{
"text": "Nobody cares if their deodorant is 24 hour or 48 hour, they are still going to apply it once a day",
"upvotes": 100155,
"author": "cm775",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/d1p9d1/nobody_cares_if_their_deodorant_is_24_hour_or_48/"
},
{
"text": "Sunny D tastes like someone made a bet that they could make orange juice without oranges",
"upvotes": 100002,
"author": "IrateCube",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/9wqphe/sunny_d_tastes_like_someone_made_a_bet_that_they/"
},
{
"text": "People who don't understand how Clark Kent can pass as superman have never seen Tony Hawk without a skateboard",
"upvotes": 99530,
"author": "mybustersword",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/irzfkr/people_who_dont_understand_how_clark_kent_can/"
},
{
"text": "Telling a dangerously overweight person not to lose weight because they're beautiful is like telling an alcoholic not to stop drinking because they're fun.",
"upvotes": 99208,
"author": "Kintarra",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/9mbcux/telling_a_dangerously_overweight_person_not_to/"
},
{
"text": "Replying \"k\" in morse \"-.-\", has the same passive aggressive tone",
"upvotes": 99124,
"author": "SunZiLei",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/a1rq8n/replying_k_in_morse_has_the_same_passive/"
},
{
"text": "The weird, artsy, loner usually gets the girl in movies (instead of the jock) simply because many movies are written by weird, artsy, loners.",
"upvotes": 98881,
"author": "lookin_cool",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/bqgrp7/the_weird_artsy_loner_usually_gets_the_girl_in/"
},
{
"text": "Both concrete and glass are mostly made of sand which makes skyscrapers just really tall sandcastles",
"upvotes": 98552,
"author": "Because_Logic",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/aj0e5o/both_concrete_and_glass_are_mostly_made_of_sand/"
},
{
"text": "Today Is The Mondayest Thursday Ever.",
"upvotes": 98495,
"author": "robbman21",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/efwl6d/today_is_the_mondayest_thursday_ever/"
},
{
"text": "Monopoly would be more realistic if the person with the most money got to change the rules whenever they liked",
"upvotes": 98155,
"author": "PooperOfMoons",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/aue6vr/monopoly_would_be_more_realistic_if_the_person/"
},
{
"text": "Worms in apples has been less of a problem than what we expected as kids.",
"upvotes": 97790,
"author": "delusional-thomas",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/gsrxeg/worms_in_apples_has_been_less_of_a_problem_than/"
},
{
"text": "Being with people who don't listen is lonelier than being alone.",
"upvotes": 97706,
"author": "Festuspapyrus",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/ibbr1k/being_with_people_who_dont_listen_is_lonelier/"
},
{
"text": "Dads tell cheesy jokes not because humour gets worse with age, but because the more life experience you have, the more value you place on anything that might make someone laugh, even if it's at your own expense.",
"upvotes": 97608,
"author": "Alexander_Wrote",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/jveiyb/dads_tell_cheesy_jokes_not_because_humour_gets/"
},
{
"text": "Wikipedia built the biggest modern information hub using nothing but nerds' need to correct each other.",
"upvotes": 97526,
"author": "octoberinmay",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/dd96t6/wikipedia_built_the_biggest_modern_information/"
},
{
"text": "USPS could make more money if they put post offices in airports so instead of throwing something out that you forgot was in your bag you could mail it home.",
"upvotes": 97356,
"author": "SgtMcBiscuit",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/a0bwp4/usps_could_make_more_money_if_they_put_post/"
},
{
"text": "Telling kids that a cop will arrest you as a disciplinary tool, then expecting kids to tell a cop if something bad is happening to them, must be confusing as hell.",
"upvotes": 97359,
"author": "tearose11",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/f0ibqi/telling_kids_that_a_cop_will_arrest_you_as_a/"
},
{
"text": "When medication says \"do not operate heavy machinery\" they're probably mainly referring to cars, but my mind always goes to forklift.",
"upvotes": 97215,
"author": "megadumbbonehead",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/5klico/when_medication_says_do_not_operate_heavy/"
},
{
"text": "People who respond with \"That's not how the world works\" when told to be nice are the reason that's not how the world works.",
"upvotes": 97134,
"author": "ObsoleteOcto",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/g5iich/people_who_respond_with_thats_not_how_the_world/"
},
{
"text": "If people from the Star Wars universe ever came to Earth, the fact that it has deserts, rain forests, prairies, tundras AND oceans would probably be a real mind fuck for them.",
"upvotes": 97058,
"author": "dangerick",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/e2j3pw/if_people_from_the_star_wars_universe_ever_came/"
},
{
"text": "The ten years between 25 and 35 are far shorter than the four years between 14 and 18.",
"upvotes": 97045,
"author": "[deleted]",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/ly9rez/the_ten_years_between_25_and_35_are_far_shorter/"
},
{
"text": "the clip of Will Smith already has more views than the film he won an Oscar for ever will",
"upvotes": 96601,
"author": "RadRightHand",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/tq9o1b/the_clip_of_will_smith_already_has_more_views/"
},
{
"text": "An onion is the bass player of food. You would probably not enjoy it solo, but you’d miss it if it wasn’t there.",
"upvotes": 96487,
"author": "pete7568",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/cz9xd6/an_onion_is_the_bass_player_of_food_you_would/"
},
{
"text": "Before radios, tvs, and smartphones people never knew there were so many dumb people out there. They just thought it was that one guy in town.",
"upvotes": 96434,
"author": "urkillingme",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/igl6qt/before_radios_tvs_and_smartphones_people_never/"
},
{
"text": "If you were invisible, you could have a perfectly normal relationship with a blind person",
"upvotes": 96405,
"author": "Loobooway",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/b1ye22/if_you_were_invisible_you_could_have_a_perfectly/"
},
{
"text": "Single Player games that don’t require internet are going to be extremely valuable during the apocalypse",
"upvotes": 96070,
"author": "The_Autismo",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/9sp0cw/single_player_games_that_dont_require_internet/"
},
{
"text": "Anybody that questions why you are shoveling six inches of snow in the *middle* of a snowstorm hasn't shoveled twelve inches of snow at the end of a snowstorm.",
"upvotes": 95872,
"author": "Boss_Angler",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/80eequ/anybody_that_questions_why_you_are_shoveling_six/"
},
{
"text": "Your thoughts could be in such a personalized coded shorthand that even if someone could read your mind they wouldn’t understand what the hell you’re thinking.",
"upvotes": 95769,
"author": "jfi224",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/dt56k9/your_thoughts_could_be_in_such_a_personalized/"
},
{
"text": "Mosquitoes sure are brave for creatures with only 1 hp",
"upvotes": 95760,
"author": "XW00DX",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/idwat9/mosquitoes_sure_are_brave_for_creatures_with_only/"
},
{
"text": "The average car in space is nicer than the average car on Earth",
"upvotes": 95462,
"author": "BronzeInKorea22",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/7y3eqa/the_average_car_in_space_is_nicer_than_the/"
},
{
"text": "If you are alone when you crack open a peanut shell and eat the peanut inside, you are the only person in the world to have ever seen that peanut.",
"upvotes": 95014,
"author": "choto",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/akfp88/if_you_are_alone_when_you_crack_open_a_peanut/"
},
{
"text": "Maybe little kids have it right when they worship the garbage man, the postman, the guy who drives the semi and cranes, instead of admiring the cesspool of Hollywood that we adults seem to.",
"upvotes": 94608,
"author": "[deleted]",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/7bxdcw/maybe_little_kids_have_it_right_when_they_worship/"
},
{
"text": "We're lucky that our bodies require sleep, otherwise our cultures would have us working 16-20 hour days.",
"upvotes": 94354,
"author": "TenOunceCan",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/8iz7hm/were_lucky_that_our_bodies_require_sleep/"
},
{
"text": "If you play the PornHub community jingle in public, everyone will know you’re watching porn but no one will say anything because it will reveal that they know what the jingle’s from",
"upvotes": 94351,
"author": "SHitteRs__Fu11",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/a8x4r9/if_you_play_the_pornhub_community_jingle_in/"
},
{
"text": "It would be weird if a human yelled out \"Anyone wanna fuck?\" but birds do it all day and nobody cares.",
"upvotes": 94206,
"author": "TecnoWaffle",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/8nwdlk/it_would_be_weird_if_a_human_yelled_out_anyone/"
},
{
"text": "When cell phones were new, it was cool to have a fun or interesting ringtone. Today, if your phone isn’t permanently on silent mode you’re a scumbag",
"upvotes": 94148,
"author": "DNAviolation",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/bxgve3/when_cell_phones_were_new_it_was_cool_to_have_a/"
},
{
"text": "If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca's third dog",
"upvotes": 94069,
"author": "BookerDeWittsCarbine",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/7vfmif/if_wookies_have_a_400_year_life_span_then_han/"
},
{
"text": "If you can't look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.",
"upvotes": 94009,
"author": "blendergremlin",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/fgkyzt/if_you_cant_look_back_at_your_younger_self_and/"
},
{
"text": "If your school lends textbooks, teachers seem perfectly content in using ones published in 1999. If your school sells textbooks, then last year’s editions are suddenly outdated, worthless pieces of trash.",
"upvotes": 93789,
"author": "Strictlyforbargain85",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/cn0166/if_your_school_lends_textbooks_teachers_seem/"
},
{
"text": "An inheritance is just your relatives dropping loot when they die.",
"upvotes": 93683,
"author": "Van-Storm",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/aytido/an_inheritance_is_just_your_relatives_dropping/"
},
{
"text": "If it weren’t for movies, the average person would probably have no idea what an elevator shaft looks like.",
"upvotes": 93490,
"author": "MiniNuka",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/epmon1/if_it_werent_for_movies_the_average_person_would/"
},
{
"text": "Some people masturbate more than they brush their teeth.",
"upvotes": 93467,
"author": "RexDust",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/iagczj/some_people_masturbate_more_than_they_brush_their/"
},
{
"text": "Social anxiety is basically Conspiracy Theories about yourself.",
"upvotes": 93454,
"author": "howtohidefromfriends",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/7v22pe/social_anxiety_is_basically_conspiracy_theories/"
},
{
"text": "People are so amazed by the fact that every snowflake is different, but nobody cares that every potato is unique",
"upvotes": 93427,
"author": "DukoBoss",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/cn380p/people_are_so_amazed_by_the_fact_that_every/"
},
{
"text": "Google Earth, in all its detail, is an unprecedented accomplishment for mankind. No one even a hundred years ago (or less) would believe it could exist. But the fact that it is free, is a world wonder.",
"upvotes": 93371,
"author": "explodingness",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/998ngu/google_earth_in_all_its_detail_is_an/"
},
{
"text": "Light bulbs were such a good idea that they became a symbol for a good idea.",
"upvotes": 93224,
"author": "Frahmy12",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/hgimdu/light_bulbs_were_such_a_good_idea_that_they/"
},
{
"text": "If you won the award of the first man to break two world records, that would make it 3 awards, and you win the award of first man to break 3 records, now you have infinite awards",
"upvotes": 93113,
"author": "The_Lobster_",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/8rhj0m/if_you_won_the_award_of_the_first_man_to_break/"
},
{
"text": "It’s entirely possible that two random people on the internet have had a friendly conversation on one forum and later an aggressive hateful conversation on another forum, without ever knowing of their previous wholesome interaction.",
"upvotes": 93080,
"author": "freddlaren",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/a77a8o/its_entirely_possible_that_two_random_people_on/"
},
{
"text": "\"Bob's Burgers\" would also be an appropriate title for SpongeBob SquarePants.",
"upvotes": 93008,
"author": "thehydrastation",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/78q2kd/bobs_burgers_would_also_be_an_appropriate_title/"
},
{
"text": "Condoms are made by automated assembly lines, meaning robots are literally helping to prevent human reproduction.",
"upvotes": 92547,
"author": "SinJinQLB",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/9w6k6n/condoms_are_made_by_automated_assembly_lines/"
},
{
"text": "The movie industry considers you to be an adult when you're 17 to see a rated R movie, but they conveniently lower that age to 13 when they are deciding who pays adult ticket prices.",
"upvotes": 91907,
"author": "AbattoirOfDuty",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/86kiw5/the_movie_industry_considers_you_to_be_an_adult/"
},
{
"text": "The fact that we can't fully control our own organs and bodily functions is like we don't have admin privileges of our own bodies",
"upvotes": 91829,
"author": "Zaptagious",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/ax5gem/the_fact_that_we_cant_fully_control_our_own/"
},
{
"text": "J.K. Rowling changing aspects of Harry Potter 22 years after it was written is the equivalent of coming up with a good comeback a few hours after the arguement's already finished.",
"upvotes": 91720,
"author": "messosen",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/b5g8d8/jk_rowling_changing_aspects_of_harry_potter_22/"
},
{
"text": "There is nothing better than realizing, right after you wake up, that you won't have to face repercussions for the terrible choices you made in your dream.",
"upvotes": 91583,
"author": "dzemperzapedra",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/85qyjs/there_is_nothing_better_than_realizing_right/"
},
{
"text": "The other day, someone said, \"Newton's rolling over in his grave\" in response to a basic physics mistake. But if Newton heard someone suggest his corpse could move without an external force acting upon it, he would roll over in his grave.",
"upvotes": 91319,
"author": "melodicrobotic",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/6xmu62/the_other_day_someone_said_newtons_rolling_over/"
},
{
"text": "If race horses could comprehend that victory meant a lifetime of leisure and sex they’d probably run even faster",
"upvotes": 91231,
"author": "Bid325",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/8q1ahg/if_race_horses_could_comprehend_that_victory/"
},
{
"text": "If everyone on earth died simultaneously, the internet would be comprised entirely of bots posting, liking, and upvoting each other.",
"upvotes": 91038,
"author": "AlphaBravo69",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/amg6kb/if_everyone_on_earth_died_simultaneously_the/"
},
{
"text": "In one generation we went from, \"watch your mouth around grandma, she's from a different time,\" to, \"Don't mind all the stuff grandma says, she's from a different time.\"",
"upvotes": 90985,
"author": "Ellikichi",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/92yotz/in_one_generation_we_went_from_watch_your_mouth/"
},
{
"text": "we thought our parents were embarrassing, but when the tiktok generation has kids, those kids will face forms of embarrassment unknown to us.",
"upvotes": 90895,
"author": "v-v-v-v-w",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/ffh38l/we_thought_our_parents_were_embarrassing_but_when/"
},
{
"text": "The Viagra commercial always says \"Make sure your heart is healthy enough for sex.\" That's a really deep question if you think about it in more of a metaphorical way",
"upvotes": 90880,
"author": "Kermoot_De_Froog",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/8cjc27/the_viagra_commercial_always_says_make_sure_your/"
},
{
"text": "Drinking cow’s milk is okay, but drinking a woman’s breast milk is weird. Sucking a woman’s breast is okay, but sucking a cow’s udder is weird.",
"upvotes": 90877,
"author": "AnthropomorphicMango",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/l1r2o5/drinking_cows_milk_is_okay_but_drinking_a_womans/"
},
{
"text": "Hogwarts’ assignments on 3 or 4 feet of parchment seem really long until you realize that the length of an A4 paper is 11.7 inches. Harry constantly complained about writing a 4-page essay.",
"upvotes": 90604,
"author": "foshowdoe",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/iq8hc4/hogwarts_assignments_on_3_or_4_feet_of_parchment/"
},
{
"text": "If a morgue worker dies they'd still need to come in to work one more time",
"upvotes": 90425,
"author": "[deleted]",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/fh15ed/if_a_morgue_worker_dies_theyd_still_need_to_come/"
},
{
"text": "People who don't indicate in traffic are people who are literally not willing to lift a finger to help co-operate.",
"upvotes": 90343,
"author": "Lemur001",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/jaal6f/people_who_dont_indicate_in_traffic_are_people/"
},
{
"text": "Expensive paintings are basically just trading cards for the rich.",
"upvotes": 90325,
"author": "2th_pick",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/b7rzc6/expensive_paintings_are_basically_just_trading/"
},
{
"text": "College Students are simultaneously stereotyped for not getting enough sleep and for sleeping all the time.",
"upvotes": 90242,
"author": "BruceDwayne1",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/9bktoi/college_students_are_simultaneously_stereotyped/"
},
{
"text": "Too bad alcohol isn't heavily discounted the day after St. Patrick's Day the way candy is after Valentine's Day.",
"upvotes": 90132,
"author": "Hot_Donald",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/85d17o/too_bad_alcohol_isnt_heavily_discounted_the_day/"
},
{
"text": "You know who has more descendents than Genghis Khan. Genghis Khan's dad.",
"upvotes": 89938,
"author": "BlockheadRedditor",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/ad6y61/you_know_who_has_more_descendents_than_genghis/"
},
{
"text": "Telemarketers have basically ruined the telephone as a tool for contacting people quickly because no one bothers to answer it anymore.",
"upvotes": 89773,
"author": "PikesPique",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/cche76/telemarketers_have_basically_ruined_the_telephone/"
},
{
"text": "Those \"choose your own flavor\" Coke machines are probably just there to gather marketing data; They see what the most popular flavors are so they can release bottled/canned versions.",
"upvotes": 89574,
"author": "SimplyTim90",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/bo9hfc/those_choose_your_own_flavor_coke_machines_are/"
},
{
"text": "Posting newborn’s weight and length makes childbirth rather too similar to fishing",
"upvotes": 89528,
"author": "Nebula-X1",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/ampx9g/posting_newborns_weight_and_length_makes/"
},
{
"text": "Traditions are basically dead people peer pressuring us",
"upvotes": 89503,
"author": "JonSolo1",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/avyhis/traditions_are_basically_dead_people_peer/"
},
{
"text": "There are two types of car owners. The first is upset when it rains because the rain is getting their car dirty. The second is happy when it rains because the rain is getting their car clean.",
"upvotes": 89267,
"author": "ecc811",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/e546bk/there_are_two_types_of_car_owners_the_first_is/"
},
{
"text": "As a child, it seemed like parents had eyes on the back of their heads. As adults, it’s clear that little kids are extremely predictable",
"upvotes": 89235,
"author": "squanto420sqanching",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/hkvhkr/as_a_child_it_seemed_like_parents_had_eyes_on_the/"
},
{
"text": "Maybe superheroes wear capes to hide the zipper on the back of their onesie.",
"upvotes": 89091,
"author": "Eagle_Blimp",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/eytocg/maybe_superheroes_wear_capes_to_hide_the_zipper/"
},
{
"text": "They don’t let you smile in passport photos because they want you to look the same as if you were standing in line at customs for an hour",
"upvotes": 89090,
"author": "dillisking",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/egcf3d/they_dont_let_you_smile_in_passport_photos/"
},
{
"text": "There’s enough sperm sitting in donation centres to impregnate every adult women on earth. If men disappeared tomorrow the human race would continue.",
"upvotes": 88957,
"author": "afk14",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/s8o9tj/theres_enough_sperm_sitting_in_donation_centres/"
},
{
"text": "We never really scratch our balls -- It's more of a pinch the skin and twist technique that no one ever teaches us; we all just figure it out on our own and no one ever talks about it.",
"upvotes": 88784,
"author": "Sydeburnn",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/fdhnpg/we_never_really_scratch_our_balls_its_more_of_a/"
},
{
"text": "The asteroid that ended the dinosaurs was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone in Earth's history.",
"upvotes": 88661,
"author": "cubosh",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/oile8b/the_asteroid_that_ended_the_dinosaurs_was/"
},
{
"text": "It’s not till you work a retail job that you realize 85% of people are dumb as rocks.",
"upvotes": 88641,
"author": "Nathanyu3",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/xuc9gh/its_not_till_you_work_a_retail_job_that_you/"
},
{
"text": "Pinterest is like a virus that infected the google image search.",
"upvotes": 88608,
"author": "MagsClouds",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/7sd54f/pinterest_is_like_a_virus_that_infected_the/"
},
{
"text": "You know you’re getting old when your parents start disappointing you, instead of you disappointing them.",
"upvotes": 88604,
"author": "jessicajingle19",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/ct9jm7/you_know_youre_getting_old_when_your_parents/"
},
{
"text": "The sense of hearing is wild. We can detect the air pressure changes caused by a paperclip hitting the floor from across the room.",
"upvotes": 88588,
"author": "KindaOffKey",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/gm1vdt/the_sense_of_hearing_is_wild_we_can_detect_the/"
},
{
"text": "Amish girls have no way of knowing if it's a romantic candlelit dinner or just a regular dinner",
"upvotes": 88387,
"author": "Ihavequestions28",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/95ayrr/amish_girls_have_no_way_of_knowing_if_its_a/"
},
{
"text": "Inside every 85 year old man is an 18 year old saying what the fuck just happened.",
"upvotes": 88336,
"author": "[deleted]",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/apv25w/inside_every_85_year_old_man_is_an_18_year_old/"
},
{
"text": "Babysitters are teenagers who behave like grown-ups so that grown-ups can go out and behave like teenagers.",
"upvotes": 88296,
"author": "C0untdown",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/c5k15a/babysitters_are_teenagers_who_behave_like/"
},
{
"text": "In the 90s, we were taught to use plastic instead of paper to save the rainforest from deforestation. Now we're taught to use paper instead of plastic to save the ocean from pollution.",
"upvotes": 88284,
"author": "magicarnival",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/b843my/in_the_90s_we_were_taught_to_use_plastic_instead/"
},
{
"text": "If holy water kills vampires, then putting holy water in a humidifier is making holy gas. You just made a gas chamber for vampires.",
"upvotes": 88243,
"author": "TurtleZ1235",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/brsyuy/if_holy_water_kills_vampires_then_putting_holy/"
},
{
"text": "If, one day, we cure aging and all diseases, we will all die horrible deaths.",
"upvotes": 88221,
"author": "appleijunkie",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/fetrko/if_one_day_we_cure_aging_and_all_diseases_we_will/"
},
{
"text": "Quitting cable news is like quitting smoking. After a year without you see how disgusting it really is.",
"upvotes": 87963,
"author": "Richynunu",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/7lwl5h/quitting_cable_news_is_like_quitting_smoking/"
},
{
"text": "The man who invented Internet is 80 years old now. If you see him walk down the street, you’ll think he’s just another old dude who doesn’t know how to use Internet.",
"upvotes": 87934,
"author": "avetisyan818",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/c5x64k/the_man_who_invented_internet_is_80_years_old_now/"
},
{
"text": "Growing up is realizing you get more joy out of seeing others open presents than you do from opening your own",
"upvotes": 87896,
"author": "zbadknee",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/efk94f/growing_up_is_realizing_you_get_more_joy_out_of/"
},
{
"text": "When filling up on gas, men are probably more likely to shake the gas nozzle before putting it back than women are.",
"upvotes": 87726,
"author": "ashthundercrow",
"url": "https://reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/g6656n/when_filling_up_on_gas_men_are_probably_more/"
},
{
"text": "Given that tickling yourself does not work the same as someone else tickling you, we really lucked out with masturbation.",
"upvotes": 87670,