cv126_28821.txt

plot : a separated , glamorous , hollywood couple must pretend to reunite for a press junket of the last movie that they ever shot together . 
kewl . . . now 
i only wish that i could pretend never to have seen this movie . . . 
critique : trite , unfunny , boring and a waste of everyone's talent . 
how a premise with such zest and bite can turn into a movie that doesn't feature any chemistry , any real laughs , any surprises or any spice is beyond me . 
how julia roberts is used solely as a " puppy dog " character , puttering around in the background while we endure the complete bitchiness of zeta-jones' character , who is not one bit funny or romantic ( two ideal ingredients in a " romantic comedy " ) , is also beyond me . 
and why they chose john cusack , a great , quirky actor in his own right , to play the most bland , uninteresting and unfetching character ( with zero chemistry with either of his leads ) is further more , beyond me . 
and to anybody who decided that this project was " funny " enough to greenlight featuring the talents mentioned above , along with billy crystal , christopher walker , seth green and stanley tucci . . . well , 
what can i say . . . i 
just don't have the words . 
so is this the worst movie that i've seen all year ? 
no . but it definitely sucks and it's basically because . . . well , 
it's just not funny . 
and for the record , allow me to state a few more problems with it . 
it starts off slow , it's got no energy , it doesn't engage you with any of its characters ( julia barely gets somewhat interesting in the film , everyone else . . . lame ! ) , it utilizes way too many flashbacks to move the story forward , it's utterly predictable , standard , routine , see-through and uninteresting as a plot and it just sits there on the screen , big and ugly , waiting . . . waiting for you to laugh or find something in it that is amusing . 
and then hank azaria shows up . . . aaaaaah , the film's savior ( mind you , some might be offended by his exaggeration of a stereotype , but that's another story altogether ) . 
but when an experienced " voice " actor upstages all of the main stars in a summer " blockbuster " romantic comedy with an over-the-top antonio banderas accent , damn dude . . . your 
film's in trouble ! ! 
rent this movie on video just to see what went wrong yourself . 
the references to ricky ricardo and senor wences ( huh ! ? ) , the idio-plot points like when one of the characters goes on the roof to stretch his arms out and relax , but everyone believes that he's going to kill himself ( hardy-har-har ) and the cheap way of getting the audience to leave the theater laughing by bringing back a ball-sniffing dog that has no place being in the location at the end of the movie , well . . . i 
could go on . 
but i won't because i do still respect all of the actors in this film and actually did laugh at azaria , green and tucci's antics from time to time ( ironic , eh . . . what 
about the leads , dammit ! ) and liked the premise behind the film ( before i saw the finished product , of course ) . 
a dud all the way around . 
btw , all the talk about this film was that julia roberts was to be in a fat suit for one scene ( her character is supposed to have lost 60 pounds ) , so when the scene finally came , i did get a little excited about what it might look like and then . . . well , 
it basically just looked like julia roberts in a fat suit ! 
ugh . 
i think i'm gonna start drinking again after this lame-ass movie . 
c'mon hollywood , enough with the crud ! 
where's joblo coming from ? 
beautiful ( 1/10 ) - my best friend's wedding ( 7/10 ) - notting hill ( 5/10 ) - pretty woman ( 7/10 ) -runaway bride ( 5/10 ) - someone like you ( 4/10 ) - wedding planner ( 3/10 ) - when harry met sally ( 10/10 ) - you've got mail ( 4/10 )