Simon Sinek: Leaders Eat Last Summary.md

Simon Sinek: Leaders Eat Last (video). Takeaways:

• Humans survived due (in part) to four brain chemicals. Two you can get solo: endorphins, which mask pain (e.g. runner’s high) and allow us to hunt food over long distances; and dopamine, the pleasure derived from getting something done (very addictive).
• Two others require social interaction to manifest:
  • Serotonin, the “relationship chemical." Feeling of public pride, produces confidence (e.g. graduation ceremony), “win one for the coach”, “make our parents proud."
    • Can be tricked: display of wealth = higher status. But there was no strengthening of a relationship, so it is unfulfilling.
    • Keeps social order (we evolved to favor strong relationships so all members of tribes would trust each other. Not just survival of the fittest).
    • We constantly judge/assess who’s Alpha (they get to eat/mate first). This is why we try to raise our own status, so we can eat/mate first.
    • Leadership/Alpha comes at a cost. Leads to running towards danger (and putting ourselves at risk) to protect group.
  • Oxytocin - love/trust/friendship. Safety. Someone’s got my back. Get it from physical contact. Why shaking hands is important. Both parties get oxytocin. Even witnesses get it.
    • Also get this from time/energy generosity (money won’t work). Leaders give time/energy.
    • Must be a sacrifice (that’s why email doesn’t work for emotion/judgement/evaluation).
    • Oxytocin has many benefits: boosts immune system and inhibits addition
    • Takes time to build up (that’s why people usually don’t get married after first date).
• One more chemical: cortisol (stress, anxiety). Fight/flight. Paranoid. Stiffens muscles, raises heart-rate. It’s communicable in social groups. Extra energy to heighten our awareness, comes from other systems: growth, immune system. Unsafe environments cause constant drips of cortisol and suppresses Oxytocin.
• External dangers are constant (e.g. competition), but internal dangers (inside the company) are variable, and determined by leaders. When tribes feel safe, they can work together to face external dangers.
• Leaders decide who gets in the circle of safety/belonging and who stays out; how big the circle should be (e.g. everyone, or just “inner circle” of top execs).
• Leaders make sure those under them feel safe (in the circle), so they make those under them feel safe, so they make customers feel safe.
• Leadership isn’t a position, it’s a choice to protect and sacrifice for those around you.
  • The shield is more important than the spear to the phalanx.
  • Give to others, and they will give to others in turn.