index_11.haml

%h1 YOUR FAVORITE SPORTING TEAM IS RUBBISH
%h2 I'm going to make an unsubstantiated list.
%p For one, your main star is wildly overpaid. While I agree that he might have enough talent to blink his eyes to acknowledge he's not currently in a coma, the amount he is paid could pay four years of tuition for my first born, or a trip to Vegas, which ever I can blow faster.
%p No, I'm not talking about blowing my son.
%p Secondly, the fans of your favorite sporting team — INCLUDING YOURSELF — are clearly inbred maniacs who wouldn't know the broad side of my foot when I kicked them with my foot. Something something, foot metaphor allusion, something something your team sucks. Really, I just wanted to reiterate that I could easily give your fellow fans a boot to the rear.
%p Finally, the entire team plays ball like a girl. Despicable. In the event that your favorite sporting team is a women's team, then I hereby claim that they all play ball like a man. Despicable.
%p Okay, I lie. I only loathe your team a little bit. Really, this is just a sly reenactment of what could happen when you randomly click on links like that. What are you thinking? If you keep clicking whatever tickles your fancy without understanding the consequences, pretty soon you're going to be flipping through the internet drunk on your iPhone at a bar, run across a random link that insults your favorite sporting team, and before you know it you're getting the broad side of your foot in your rear by the guy at the end of the bar that only goes by the name "Big Gus".
%p== Don't worry. <b>#{@total}</b> others fervently love crappy teams, too.