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<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<title>The mother of all questions</title>
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<link rel="stylesheet" href="style.css">
<meta property='og:image' content='https://kp-web.com/picture.jpg' />
<meta name="description" content="Life is meant to be lived as a test.">
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<body>
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<h1><span style="color: #FFC400">Life is meant to be lived as a test</span>
</h1>
<h1>What live for?</h1>
<p><strong><em>Dear life.</em></strong> I'm sunk in chaotic thoughts and struck with brilliant visions. I'm trying
to condense every impression my life has given me. I've been struggling to write; hence I'm trying to pick words
as if I'm building a monument, I write as if it's the last thing I get to say and the last bit that's going to
be left, the last bit that's going to be read until everything I ever did sinks in the cold indifference of the
universe never to be thought about again, I'm writing as if it's the last time I've been given a voice. Very
well, this could be the last text, only God knows. Something unforeseen could happen, even something outside the
scope of our imagination - a goldfish can't grasp a broken glass, especially if it's his. At any instant, it
could be over and I don't want to get caught thinking nihil hedonistic thoughts and justify myself for doing so
the moment I should die… Whiteness, all-encompassing, I'm going to sit in this liminal space and have to defend
myself, for everything I've done and whether it was pure. No thought must go to waste, we are in a rush. It
seems as if we are thinking more about death than about life and this makes sense, in idleness one does not see
death around the corner. I'm sunk in thoughts and visions and now I have to unleash the spirit to answer the
most important question of all, what is the meaning of life, and does it have one? An answer to the question
reveals the most important lesson for human life, independent of any time, place, or position. An answer to the
question, how to live and what for? </p>
<h1>1. Better for the world to be sterilized!</h1>
<p>We must assume that life is meaningless, just in case - It could be true and many people are tempted to think so.
Well, if life is meaningless, isn't it better to never have been, to spare one from all the suffering?</p>
<p><em>“I am the spirit, ever, that denies! And rightly so: since everything created, in turn, deserves to be
annihilated: Better if nothing came to be. So all that you call sin, you see, destruction, in short, what
you've meant. By Evil is my true element.” </em></p>
<p>Goethe's play Faust has two parts and the core conflict is a battle between rational nihilism and religious
virtue. For one, we have a devil Mephistopheles, from which the quote is, to personalize rational nihilism,
which is, intuitively and unsurprising, evil. Then there is Gretchen, the symbol of religious and innocent love,
who gets her family annihilated as a result of the hedonism that follows the devil's nihilistic views which
Faust is convinced of. The play starts the following. After achieving almost everything the material world has
to offer, he is a leading professor, he loses the zest for life, and there is nothing to do, hence he wants to
poison himself, as he finds himself unable to find the answer to the question what keeps the world together,
i.e. the essence of life. Meanwhile, in heaven, the devil Mephistopheles bets with God that he as the devil
could make the 'decent' Faust to sell his soul for earthly pleasure. God allows the devil to test Faust and
Faust accepts to trade his soul. <em>With the devil on his side, everything is possible for Faust.</em> He
creates a lot
of misery in the world because of his hedonism, for example, he desires Gretchen and kills her mother to have
fun with Gretchen, and as she gets pregnant her brother dies in a rigged duel against Faust and finally Gretchen
is executed as she killed her baby, she refuses to flee as she accepts her guilt. Faust's adventures continue by
further asking the question of the rational and the emotional. Towards the end of the play, Faust calms down
since he got a piece of land after winning a battle for the king. He gains life satisfaction, <em>“Will I say to
the
moment, just linger, you are so beautiful”</em> and as a result, God loses the bet and Faust's soul ends up
in the
devil's hands. Looks like the devil won and life is meaningless, there is nothing beyond the material. However,
in the last moment, the angel who used to be Gretchen distracts the devil and takes Faust's soul. </p>
<p>However, since the early 1800's many things changed. Many people will not find any literature to be
representative, after all, we don't live in the world of fiction. Many developments starting in this time went
on. More and more people relate with the devil, after all, Gretchen got taken advantage of. Now the devil
dominates, there is nothing beyond the material, we should stop being so idealistic. So, what do we do now?</p>
<p><em>“God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all
murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our
knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of
atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us?
Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it?” - Nietzsche</em></p>
<p><em><strong>Better for the world to be sterilized.</strong></em> So, is life meaningless, and is it better never
to have been? It's tempting to deny the meaning of life as it removes the responsibility of living correctly by
refusing to play the game in the first place - it seems as if many people surrender and resemble the spirit that
endlessly denies… One could defend the argument that it was better never to be born if a baby was born in a
knowingly catastrophic environment of famine and war. Existence is not particularly desirable when malnutrition
brings blindness and makes one into a cripple who never had enough calories to grow and is full of parasites
that the immune system is too weak to fight. When this child then grows up, the future does not look hopeful
either, the foundations to restore things to what they once were would be practically impossible as they never
were great to begin with. Of course, this situation is a challenge and challenges lead to growth, but chances
are, that one is utterly too weak to face the challenge. In this case, who can argue that it's better to be
born? What does one need meaningless suffering for? Is it better to abort a baby who will live to become a
useless and paralyzed moron and drag everyone down, causing only tears to look at? Less extreme examples become
more subtle, but generally is it better never to have been? Some fool may claim that we would be richer if fewer
people existed and this is false if you know that money isn't about ownership but about production, which is
lower with fewer people. So, the argument that remains goes the following, being alive comes with suffering and
pleasure, which is both bad and good, so neutral. Not being alive brings no pleasure, which is neutral, and no
pain, which is good, at least to the philosopher David Benatar. Life is also cruel without ends. Organisms kill
themselves constantly and one could point out that as soon as a person becomes useless, he is effectively thrown
out of the tribe. It does make sense to view life as a constant hostile fight against something, against other
life, or unliving forces. But what for, if it dies anyway and what do organisms reproduce for, just for the
future organism to suffer? Many view it as an obligation to reproduce, which creates a Ponzi-like situation.
There seems to be no deeper, cosmic meaning to it. Also, why is there so much hate and what is it for? How can
anyone claim that 'life is paradise' when more than one innocent child is suffering? God can't be real if he
allows that. Furthermore, one of the goals of Buddhism, Nirvana, seeks a release from all suffering by making
one escape the cycles of rebirth, saṃsāra - Final, eternal peace. Other religions also have some, at least,
tendency to view earthly existence as filled with suffering and the spiritual to be free thereof. Daoism seeks
to fight against the universe as unproductive, though that's life at its core. In Islam, the righteous go to
paradise and experience pleasure, just as the faithful Christians go to heaven. The pleasures in the heavens in
general may not necessitate the hedonistic kind, though they unmistakenly make clear; that, at its core, life is
suffering. Okay, life is suffering, what now? Is it at least meaningful, or is it truly better never to have
been?</p>
<p>The simple answer is no. Triumph over evil is more meaningful than evil having never existed. </p>
<h1>2. Of course, life is meaningless if you live it wrong</h1>
<p><em><strong>You're a little girl, endless justification.</strong></em> Kant said that you should dare to think
for yourself, “Have the courage to think for yourself” And it seems as if many people started to think
<em>passionately</em>. However, I have observed that most people, including many intellectuals, are too stupid
to think by using only shallow arguments and also by not being aware of their biases, which is even worse. For
example, suppose I command that atheism is utter nonsense as I have assessed it thoroughly and written many
essays on why that is. In that case, some idiot classmate will respond with medieval crusades that caused
Christianity to kill countless people. By the way, the Crusades wanted to reduce Muslim influence and restore
territories that used to be Christian, so claiming that these wars were pure evil only isn't even correct.
Looking further, only a single-digit percentage of wars were caused by religion throughout all of history. I'm
no expert here, so look it up yourself. But this is the perfect example of a little girl thinking, you feel like
you don't like Christianity and then point to a justification that's just flat and wrong in many crucial ways.
Unfortunately, that's almost always the case, but one can at least try to acknowledge it. Maybe you have
postmodern Western Marxist-nihilist-feminist bias instead of e.g. the old Muslim bias. Often, we argue with
conclusions rather than arguments. Likewise, when you feel low after your hedonistic phase you may be tempted to
think that life is meaningless and begin to justify it, trying to be 'rational' without having the
self-awareness to admit that rational thinking practically doesn't exist and there are justifications without
end. That means if you legitimately think that pain outweighs pleasure and that it can be weight, i.e. added to
see if the result is positive or negative, and then take action accordingly, you are mistaken by your emotions
because you can't put pain and pleasure in a calculator. Also, often five seconds of authentic pleasure can make
up for countless hours of pain - one pretty photo can justify a few hours of hiking in the rain with a heavy
backpack. Of course, you are going to find life meaningless if the only thing you do is watch anime! In this
case, it's logical to feel useless. By developing self-awareness after a lack thereof brought me some trouble a
few years ago, I was able to prevent many missteps. Think before you speak. It's vital to detach yourself
emotionally from any given situation, just because you feel bad today or for the past ten years it does not mean
that life is meaningless. Perhaps you are just living wrong. Some people lack self-awareness to the point where
their objective, rational, and emotional perspectives become indistinguishable. Those people are too stupid to
think and too stupid to realize how much their emotions influence their thinking and some of them end up jumping
from the bridge. They feel down, think that life is meaningless and some then kill themselves. I may be tempted
to write that not everyone is as extreme and that would be false, just their circumstances weren't extreme
enough, and their self-awareness may still practically be nonexistent. Many people expected to be smart are
often the ones most deluded. So, before we get philosophical again, if your life feels meaningless, just
remember that your thoughts are always a product of your emotions. Stop justifying endlessly and detach yourself
from the situation to be able to think better. It is easy to be immature. However, realizing your biases doesn't
mean being free of beliefs. Remember, don't try to intellectualize based on your emotions.
</p>
<p><em><strong>Life feels meaningless if you aren't living right.</strong></em> Here is an observation I can
confirm, if you are doing things wrong, that's when life feels meaningless. If you knowingly don't listen to
yourself, that's when life feels nihilistic. It can feel meaningless if you lack one or multiple of these
things. Before we discover the meaning of life, it's important to realize what can make it missing in the first
place.</p>
<p><em><strong>1. You are too sexual.</strong></em> Historically, decadence always comes short before a society's
collapse or downturn. The Romans made parties without ends and that made them weak, the barbarians won as a
result. This applies to the kingdom just as much as to the person. The most important reason why life feels
meaningless for most men is because they aren't in control of their desires and waste their natural energy. Good
luck living meaningfully as a hedonist. They know that they are harming themselves and continue, i.e. they go
counter their will. It goes a bit further if we consider that a lack of sexual energy makes one docile,
nihilistic, and weak. Try to walk when you're fat, you can't stand on your legs if you have an abundance of food
and a lack of control. The lack of discipline makes one unable/unwilling to take on challenges, that's why life
feels like it defeats you. Going a bit further again, an overly sexual person, which is practically everyone,
thinks about sex constantly, which occupies at least 60% of the subconscious, making one unable to focus on what
is meaningful. Now you know what to do if you want to live disciplined and feel like you want to grip life.
Every other problem derives in large part from this symptom, though they all interconnect.</p>
<p><em><strong>2. You are asocial.</strong></em> Not too few people live alone, never see anyone, despise their
family resent society, and grow a hatred towards life. Maybe you are lacking discipline because no one loves
you. Some are living alone in their depressing panel buildings and then turn to destructive life philosophies.
Then they wonder why their life is nihil. If you are unable to find love, connection, community, intimacy, a
family, or friends, you may as well just give up expecting to live a meaningful life. Atheism can contribute to
this isolation as well as technology and the modern lifestyle in general. If you have no friends, especially
beyond the age of 25, you will never get those. You will be destined to go for walks alone only being able to
fantasize about the people you would trust, rely on, and who would support you emotionally or even worse, most
people don't go for walks as they take up a lot of time and it's awkward to smile and greet the pretty girls you
encounter. Moreover, it's impossible to think that life is meaningless if you are in your tribe at the campfire
on a late June night. This activity existed for at least one and a half million years, ever since people started
taming fire. It's impossible.</p>
<p><em><strong>3. You don't want children.</strong></em> This is a lot more complex than it seems. But try to
visualize how you would live your life if you knew with 100% certainty that you would have your first child by
the age of 22. How would you live your life, I think you would see no time to think that the world be better off
sterilized. Instead, you will try to live every day on your limit. A lot of Western people have been
indoctrinated with the heretical belief that children are optional. This is false if you want to live a
meaningful life. Not wanting children is more complex than it seems as it offers parallels in goals and meaning
in general. If you have a large goal, for example, mine is to become a millionaire within the next 10 years, of
which 7 are left, it becomes a lot harder to live a meaningless life.<br>I want to tell here a little anecdote.
When I was five or so, I was grateful for being a man since I wouldn't need to bear a child. Now I know that
that's the smallest problem. Yet, some people never grow up. I make my dislike for technology and the internet
prominent, nonetheless, it's the internet that made me realize my heresy. The argument that convinced me was the
one of duty, which ironically is the one most used against having children. The argument goes something like
“You're letting down everyone if you fail after millions of generations succeeded.” </p>
<p><em><strong>4. Your environment.</strong></em> You live where it's ugly and polluted, also if you aren't
disciplined enough to clean your room. I was in Leipzig not too long ago and a few districts were depressive to
a point where I don't wonder why people in cities tend to have sinful beliefs and want to destroy society - I
can relate that some want to demolish ugliness and everything that created it. The mind is a representation of
its environment, if you live in a slum, you are going to be a lot more depressed than if you were to live in a
palace, ignoring that the excess of a palace might cause its unique problems. If you are unable to clean your
room, you have given up on life. What live for, if you already gave up? Likewise, if you are distanced from
nature, sunlight, and healthy food, what do you expect? An excess of certain chemicals makes life feel
meaningless as well, and it doesn't matter if they come from your water, food, or your wallpaper. A well-known
chemical producing nihilistic beliefs is BPA (bisphenol a), which leads us to the first point, it interferes
with sexual hormones, by inhibiting testosterone, making discipline impossible, and countless other problems.
It's far from the only chemical. Synthetic clothing, water, air, paints, plastic bags, receipts … Everything is
against you, maybe we should destroy everything to start anew? Furthermore, if you live in constant darkness,
you will also be unable to find meaning, as there is too much yin energy without the yang, which is bright.
Also, ever considered that your life feels meaningless because of the people you surround yourself with, has it
ever occurred to you that this could be a reason why you struggle to get out of bed? </p>
<p><em><strong>5. Ideology.</strong></em> A lot of people follow bizarre corrupting ideas, for example, “life is
meaningless in the absence of God, hence, everything is possible”. It seems, that every belief that is based on
a synthesis of Marxism and nihilism makes life by definition meaningless. For those who see the world as
material-only and meaningless, the only meaning created by an equivalent of class struggle makes life
meaningless, especially if you structure your life around it as many people do. It's just idiotic to convince
oneself that life is meaningless, to believe in Marxism and nihilism with one's full heart. No, life without a
purpose is as liberating as cutting off one's arms in a torture chamber. Why do you destroy meaning
passionately? Science can be a harmful belief as well. For example, if someone says that depression isn't an
illusion of weak minds, but something caused by brain chemicals, stupid people will justify their weakness with
brain chemicals, despite it being easy to see that they are just living on a sub-human level. In their case,
it's better to indoctrinate them with the belief that they should grip their life. Why do you many idolize
weakness, mental illness, degeneracy, promiscuity, isolation, cowardice, or activism? Idolizing weakness is
especially harmful as it's easy to say “You got sick because you've been too hard on yourself.” Yet, hardship is
vital for a meaningful life. Other false beliefs are regarding beauty, for example, some girls think that dying
their hair is vital for self-esteem. And others indoctrinate young people that they need to discover themselves.
Some people indoctrinate themselves with other heresies, by simply choosing to be sad, unfulfilled, and
depressed, by blaming their circumstances and being a pragmatic materialist, or because they are an atheist
looking for cosmical meaning, one beyond the material. Another hostile idea is learned helplessness, by which
people see themselves as victims, which is highly problematic, as it necessitates the creation of meaning via
violent means. But again, because God doesn't exist supposedly, everything is permissible. One of the worst
ideologies is atheism, as it destroys meaning and the foundations thereof. Ideology is the way you view the
world, so make sure you have the right one. There are anti-ideological activities and those are mediation and
sports. You see what you like and you can't desire to view things wrong. I have a perfect anecdote. As soon as I
started to record cinematic videos, I started to notice beauty everywhere, as I trained myself to look at it. My
eyes were opened and I saw that the world was pretty.</p>
<p><em><strong>6. Loser.</strong></em> You may be tempted to think that some rich and successful person might still
be a nihilist, though if that person also had a family, status, variety, health, and God - just everything, he
would not ever have nihilistic thoughts. Your health and every earthly pleasure improve as you climb the social
ladder and are at the bottom, which many people and 'philosophers', childless, purposeless, physically ugly,
single, and broke are. Maybe you should stop listening to the philosopher because you should look at where his
beliefs lead, where they come from, and whether they serve you. If you master worldly matters and then the
spiritual ones, you will not find life to be meaningless, but if you are a full loser, you will - and then the
endless justification with zero self-awareness starts, the little girl's way of thinking. You need those earthly
things, don't try pointing at their cosmic insignificance to justify your lack, if you use this argument, stop
being an atheist. Maybe you're living wrong and your head reminds you of this fact… If you feel like giving up
for the last time, I want you to remember; that you have nothing to lose, so you may as well just grip your
life, and go for a walk that lasts until you find the meaning of life, you will not allow yourself to stop
before you discover what life is about. There may be no one loving you, and no hope no matter where you look,
that's why you need to wander until you realize what life is about. </p>
<p><em><strong>7. Living in routines.</strong></em> If nothing interesting happens, if one only has to busy oneself
with eating cake and continuing the species, then there is no reason to be conscious, thus you just linger
without truly existing. Where is the meaning of a life lived like a machine? Waking up. Going to work. Gym.
Home. Reading. Sleep. Repeat. Where is the living part? Life is supposed to be an adventure. Are you following
what is meaningful or what is expedient? Life is also supposed to be lived with you in control. </p>
<p style="text-align: left; margin-right: 0.5cm; margin-left: 2.5cm;"><strong>
Conscious-with-hands-crossed-sitting<br><br></strong>
One must ask what one is living for.<br>
Is it to be conscious or<br>
to rush?<br>
To indulge in sweet cognition of utility <br>
to be trapped in agility, or<br>
is it rapt to be free instead?<br><br>
Things must not be rushed;<br>
they take their time.<br>
The sublime silence of<br>
conscious-with-hands-crossed-sitting<br>
is one's true priority, <br>
it does not take much, it takes less.<br><br>
Only a minority of people <br>
dare to enjoy a silent moment.<br>
The majority doesn't care, <br>
they rather seek <br>
to destroy the timid silence<br>
because of what it may reveal <br><br>
- the true master of one's life,<br>
consciousness does not permit <br>
one to be a cog,<br>
Under the disguise of activity,<br>
moving without one's will, <br>
is true passivity.<br><br>
Hence, stillness opens freedom and<br>
One must ask what one is living for.<br><br>
</p>
<p><em><strong>8. Lack of purpose and discipline.</strong></em> If you don't sit upright if you aren't strong enough
to at least stand like a human, there is no hope for you. Gain hope at least by sitting upright, remember how
everything is interconnected? Don't give up. If God isn't authority enough, I forbid you to give up. How are we
supposed to live without an enemy to defeat? - Get one, a goal is the best enemy to defeat. You are sunk in
instant gratification without discipline, in your hedonistic phase, that's the core of a meaningless life if you
have nothing to do. Most people live lives so meaningless that they need to have music running in the background
to get some extra pleasure, maybe stop looking for pleasure. They eat sweets without even enjoying them, yet
there is nothing sweeter than being healthy. Unable to do the effortless 5-minute tasks such as writing a diary
or cleaning one's room, despite the redemption it brings. Too weak to realize that they simply can't continue
living as they do right now, unable to see that they need fundamental change - change starts with you and it
starts today. Unable to make the sacrifices they instinctively know need to make, making them more expensive.
Unable to control where their eyes go when they are trying to read instead of just forcing them to continue. Too
stupid to control where their hands move when they grab junk food - just grab healthy food. Too weak to stop
coping and excuses, thus you must take control and grip life. Too weak to do even the slightest amount of
exercise - I command you to do 5 pushups right now, even if you're a girl. Everyone knows that the entertaining
parts of the internet make one stupid and that every moment on social media is detrimental, yet they somehow
find ways to cope with that as well - instead of reading. Whose life are you truly living if you aren't in
control of it? Grip life. Why do you continue to hate yourself? Think long-term. I know; you don't have a
purpose, hence you are unable to resist any pleasure, no matter how shallow it is. Find your purpose by revoking
pleasure and then follow your calling. Be willing to change everything. Live always by the deepest realization.
As long as your purpose persists, it's impossible to have 'nothing to do' and discipline will come at ease. If
you have a why, you will be able to bear almost any how. </p>
<p><em><strong>9. Event.</strong></em> Heartbreak, rejection, death, unemployment, failure, loss, sickness… Life
goes on. </p>
<p><em><strong>10. Lack of gratitude.</strong></em> Nothing is granted; therefore, everything carries meaning. Don't
be hesitant to express gratitude. One simple step to living a meaningful is a notebook to write down the things
you are grateful and from a scientific, philosophical, religious, or spiritual perspective that's how you enjoy
life, that's the main weapon against depression, decadence, and nihilism. Life is simple and we insist on making
it complicated, Confucious said. Most of the time of the universe's existence you will be dead. Enjoy the blink
of an eye called life. Don't enjoy it too much, this blink is too short to be a hedonist. True, the universe
will continue without you, the rivers will flow and the sun will shine, but be grateful they do. Remember that
you will die, <em><strong>memento mori.</strong></em></p>
<p>I wanted also to point out that if you were to look up on the internet 'why life is meaningless' you would not
stumble across ideologically infested justifications on why that is, instead you will come across tips on how to
live a meaningful life as well as mental health advice. This is proof that thinking that life is meaningless is
a sickness. What are the most important things in one's life and which are you lacking? Purpose, love,
relationships, family, romance, community, education, health, peace, time, money, humility, spiritual stuff,
growth, friends, forgivingness, resilience, self-control, creativity…</p>
<p><em><strong>Contradicting your will is the key to a meaningless life.</strong></em>Now, the problems I discussed
that lead to a nihilistic life, such as excessive pleasure, a lack of discipline and purpose, being asocial,
toxic beliefs, a corrupting environment, too much repetition, unhealthy food, false friends, a lack of
gratitude, or something as simple as lack of sunlight … They all derive from your will. You know what you should
be doing at all times instinctively. If you don't know what you have to do consciously, you still know that you
should be doing sports or reading. What I observed as well is that people who don't identify with their gender
roles, such as being submissive as a woman or disciplined as a man suffer hard, they refuse to accept their
nature. This does not apply, however, if you are a woman with authentic masculine energy or a man with too much
feminine energy, in which case following the stereotype may cause more problems than it solves. Roles,
identities, visions, dreams, and purposes, all require your attention and generate a certain will. If you
contradict this will, your authentic nature, that's when you have to pay the price, a very high one.</p>
<p><em>“God exists. You may be tempted to think that you are in control of your thoughts, dreams, or desires but the
presence thereof demonstrates precisely that some other power exists within yourself. You may name it how
you want. You can't make yourself interested in something or someone, it just comes naturally, no matter how
hard you try, you can't change what you are passionate about and what brings you in the flow. All have such
desires commanding the will and fighting against that will leads to a price too expensive to pay, a lost
battle in the fight for a meaningful life. If you know that you are excellent at writing and it brings you
in the flow, it's better to do just that, even though it may bring little income, compared to trying to
suppress this desire. There is a whole series of mental disorders and most of them stem from you knowing
that you aren't doing what you should be doing, i.e. your mind, body, intellect, and life are not in
harmony. Because your sanity is at risk, don't fight against your will, or if you do, prepare yourself for
months of depression! Good luck with moving on! You didn't choose this will but trying to think it away
won't bring anything, you must follow it or pay the price. God decided that and you are powerless.” - text
#117</em></p>
<p>Do what you know is right. </p>
<h1>3. Unproductive beliefs</h1>
<p><em><strong>Evil nihilism.</strong></em> Nihilism is surrender, ignoring that which is right by denying it. It's
easy to destroy. At least, now we have at least established that life isn't better off never to have existed and
why it's good that it exists, by arguing that life feels meaningless when it's not lived right. It's also
fascinating to point out that the spirit that endlessly denies, and thinks that it's more desirable for nothing
to have ever occurred is defined as the devil. The force that destroys is the evil one. The evil, destructive
force is called the terrible mother in myths and ancient stories, but just as with anything in life, there is a
twist; the destruction allows for new things to materialize. Nietzsche knew that we need to overcome nihilism
and that it's temporary. Yet somehow, we haven't reanimated God, there seems to be no solid foundation for
modern beliefs, not even empirics, pure reason, or a middle ground. People who view life as meaningless are
unable to distinguish between good and evil by not viewing this separation as useful. The distinction between
good and evil must have meaning behind it, a God so to speak, otherwise, there is no clear definition as to what
constitutes evil. Nihilists know this and so they conclude that everything is allowed then, and that evil is
just a social construct from the past. However, most nihilists themselves acknowledge that their philosophies
need to be overcome, as they are decadent, meaning leading to society's downturn. Nihilists tend to grow
resentment towards life as a whole and dig themselves into a rabbit hole by doing so. If nothing matters, why
try? Hence, most people know that nihilists are evil instinctively - they see the destruction. Furthermore, evil
doesn't exist on its own, it's a mere lack of good, just as cold is a lack of heat. The logic turns out to be
correct if we discover that evil is the result of the refusal to deal with consciousness, by claiming that this
is unfair, irrational, painful, and meaningless. So, if you think that life is meaningless and try to defend
that position, stay away from me, you are the embodiment of evil and weakness, the spirit that denies and wishes
for the world better to be sterilized! If you think that life is meaningless, just because there is no
crystal-clear definition of meaning, you aren't the most capable thinker out there. If you can only think
stupidly unproductive destructive things, stop thinking! Go for a walk or just go chop wood. Dear heavens, why
do you insist on making life complicated? Who am I even arguing with? Life is meaningful, accept it or suffer a
meaningless one. So, is the world better off sterilized? Never to have existed? Likely no. </p>
<p><em><strong>Free of meaning is not freedom.</strong></em> Some 20th-century intellectuals may say that life
offers no inherent meaning. We try to seek meaning and the universe just doesn't give any. I already explained
why that's nonsense since it's nothing more than a justification for a resentful mind without a heart. There is
an obvious danger that lies in thinking that 'God is dead and now everything is permissible.' To see how a life
like that works out, empirically look at examples from the last 150 years. Also, if you are deeply resentful
towards life and want to burn it to feel its warmth, this is sweet evidence that something is wrong with you.
There is a certain observation one can make; all philosophers who lose faith in God begin to question the
meaning of life, then find it to be meaningless and then grow resent towards it and try to figure out something
their entire remaining time but ultimately realize that they are unable to. The result of overcoming nihilism is
likely to be proof of God in its sweetest form, a lesson learned the hardest way. Maybe it's simply not possible
for humans to become Gods, which many great works, such as Faust demonstrate. Nihilists often learn (or don't)
that they can't position themselves as Gods and sometimes the hardcore nihilists turn to God when they mature,
hoping to find redemption. Sometimes they realize how wrong they were, but somehow you never find a religious
person turning atheist. Life as a nihilist just doesn't work. It might constitute a valid philosophical
perspective for a fancy text, but that's not something you want to live by. If you view life as meaningless, the
next logical thing is hedonism at its finest. Why not promote abortion if life is meaningless anyway and
hedonism is the new God? Why not legalize assisted suicide when life feels too painful? - What you will have to
learn the hard way is that it's not possible to live happily as a 'rational' atheist full of resentment. Some
other forms of nihilists, positive nihilists as they are called, view life as meaningless as long as you don't
give it meaning and become an Übermensch while doing so. But this doesn't work, it's not practical to get told
that life has no meaning and it has the meaning you are giving it. I doubt it's even possible. If it was
possible to find meaning in life by yourself, then we wouldn't have this problem, and the meaning of life
wouldn't be the mother of all questions, otherwise, you wouldn't be thinking about this question every day of
your life ever since you gained consciousness. You can't find meaning if you believe in nothing. You can only
find meaning in life if you believe in God, otherwise you secretly view the world like a nihilist; you will
constantly think to yourself that everything is fake and merely a social fabrication. - Which is true if you
believe in nothing. </p>
<p><em><strong>Must I stop searching for meaning? No.</strong></em> Okay, if life is better off not sterilized, also
not meaningless and one isn't able to find meaning if one believes in nothing, does it make sense to just stop
looking and just to live? No. If you know me in person, I may be the guy who would go out on the street to ask
people what they view their life is about. Most people respond that they have never thought about it, which
surprises me, are they unconscious? No wonder some people think being smart and conscious is a curse, many of
those smart and conscious people can't figure out their life and also can't turn off their minds. You can of
course try, but how often did trying not to think about anything work? Just living and not wondering what for is
impossible and similarly problematic as the view 'God is dead and now everything is allowed, evil doesn't exist
anymore', because you wouldn't know what to get out of bed for. You would slip into hedonism and start to think
that life is meaningless. 'Just living' is only possible if you are mindless, which in turn only works with
hedonism, a mind killed to not having to wonder what life is about. This is the perfect place to give a short
excursion into spiritual awakening. Your mind wants to be present, i.e. the thinking mind is unhappy. But the
surpassed mind is not the thinking mind and is similar to the fully present one. That means, the wandering mind
either wants to be suppressed or fully embraced and the default is unstable and this is the place of least
happiness. Suppressing the mind works by numbing it with addictions for example and embracing it works with the
help of nature, meditation, and discipline. You see when you embrace your consciousness and the presence it
brings, soon you will reach spiritual awakening and you won't wonder about the meaning of life, as you 'see that
everything is perfectly connected and everything is a projection to the mind.' </p>
<p><em><strong>The meaning of life is not subjective and individual.</strong></em> The meaning of life is not
subjective, otherwise, we run into the problem again of everyone needing to find it, which is impossible because
this requires a nihilistic point of view. Stop thinking that you are entitled to assign the meaning of life
yourself. </p>
<p><em>So, now we've built a pretty solid fundament on which we can build the actual castle, one of stone and not of
sand.</em></p>
<h1>4. The meaning of life </h1>
<p><em><strong>The meaning of life as of reproduction.</strong></em> It doesn't make sense for birds to sing, they
scream and reveal their position to predators and happen to be colorful at the same time. Not a particularly
logical combination. The birds sing as they want to protect their territory and they want to attract mates,
which are two manifestations of the wish to be alive and to reproduce, i.e. keeping alive the species as an
entirety. It makes sense to view what life is and what it tries constantly; staying alive and expanding. No
matter the size of an organism or when it has or will exist, life is designed to reproduce. It makes sense to
view children as a duty. Every living being in the past four billion years reproduced, they make your family
tree, and you don't want to be the first loser in it. Otherwise, what did the organisms struggle for billions of
years for? Life is designed to reproduce. You may call this useless because of all the suffering it brings, but
that's not a productive belief, that's hedonism. Looks like found one instance of meaning. </p>
<p><em>Son…, daughter…! If you were to ask me with your sweet naivety what the meaning of life is and I was not fond
of words and thoughts, I would express how much I love you and that you give me reason to get out of bed
every day, even in the what seems for you ungraspable past of the century's first decades. Maybe I would
also formulate simpler. How many stories exist of parental sacrifice, especially of those from the mother?
My mother tells me that her children, which I happen to be, are the only reasons she worries about anything.
Without love, there is no life. </em></p>
<p>And here comes the twist why that's not the highest instance of meaning. If one is too ugly and stays single
until death, or is part of the bottom 30% of men who will stay single their entire lives, according to multiple
predictions for the following decades, are their lives meaningless? Is the life of the mad, fat cat lady who is
50 and lives alone unworthy of being lived? If so, should those with a meaningless life kill themselves?</p>
<p><em><strong>The goal of life is becoming immortal.</strong></em> A not ignorable reason why many people desire
children is because they want to leave behind something. So, is a legacy vital for a meaningful life? I would
say it's complicated. For one, people who became legendary, for example, Jesus, Newton, Ceasar, Picasso,
Columbus, Dostoyevsky, Alexander the Great, Muhammad, Kant, Gandhi, Napoleon, Queen Elizabeth I, Darwin,
Einstein, Davinci, … lived doubtlessly meaningful lives, that's why they are remembered. But how many legendary
people can you name? Let's say, at the maximum 512. How many of them will stay legendary in 1000 years? Perhaps
only half of them. How many people do you know who lived 3500 years ago by name? Moses, Abraham, Ramses II and
that's it. Becoming an icon, someone worth studying, or something starting lasting changes are meaningful ways
of being. It's a very great motivator to make your name immortal, that's also why inherit names… Nonetheless,
the person planting the first seed changed the world forever, yet no one knows anything about him or her. Gone.
Is that a meaningful life to life, if you change the world forever and still no one remembers who you are? What
legacy do you have, if no one knows the impact you had? If all the changes were quiet… Also, if no one knows how
the future is going to play out, one can argue that the impact of any individual's life is fairly constant,
those great people were just combining all the little developments that took place thousands of years prior -
the butterfly effect. So, we struck a bit of gold; one of the meanings of life is to establish immortality, by
leaving an impact and continuing life. </p>
<p>However, this can't be the ultimate meaning either. What if precisely your existence makes the difference whether
humanity goes extinct a thousand years down the line? Also, I don't think that you will find your existence as a
broke, depressed artist who despises himself and hates every second of his life meaningful, even if people will
remember one 50 years after one's death. What if you live as an isolated Eskimo without any contact with anyone
outside the tribe, can one still make a noticeable difference in history? Probably not. Too much outside one's
control often makes the goal of making one's name immortal impossible. The legacy thus survives through their
children and the butterfly effect for most.</p>
<p><em><strong>Meaning comes from experience.</strong></em> There are many formulations of this core idea. Some may
say life is about trying to understand it, learning more, and doing studying it. It's about doing science to
expand the border of reality or about trying to explore the world with the power of pure reason. Without a
doubt, the life of an explorer, martyr, inventor, or revolutionary is meaningful. There are many domains to
human experience. Mastering every area, i.e. being loving, achieving spiritual awakening, having a family,
creating something lasting, becoming rich, becoming free - if one masters everything one can sit down, relax,
and realize that one is ready to go… Discover what life has to offer. Learn about it, and improve everything as
constantly as heaven is above earth. Master the game of life. <em>Once a month I go for a walk that lasts an
entire
day on the search for meaning and enlightenment.</em> </p>
<p>I promise that this is not the greatest meaning in life. What if you are paralyzed and not the next Stephen
Hawking, what are you supposed to experience or learn? Practically nothing. The other meanings such as becoming
a legend, leaving an impact, or starting a family aren't in reach either. There is also nothing to do when you
are paralyzed and your existence resembles that of a goldfish. One might give up on the meaning of life and kill
oneself. There are many examples of people in the bleakest of life's circumstances and some of them give up,
others don't. Why don't they give up, what makes a life free of pleasure worth living? What is it that pushes
individuals to continue living no matter what? </p>
<p><em>Now we are getting to the core.</em></p>
<p><em><strong>The duty of being.</strong></em> The meaning of life comes from duty. That's where every reasonable
philosopher from the last thousands of years concluded in different formulations. It may be that someone 1000
years ago was a nihilist, but their beliefs didn't survive. Only those who are true pass the test of time. And
they sound the following. Follow God's will. Life is a game. Life is about coming to peace with the Dao and
finding your way. Life is about finding one's gifts and giving them away, i.e. following your purpose. Life is
about serving others, serving God. Life's meaning comes from living. Life is about the moral law and virtue.
Life is about loving others… - All expressing the same idea; life is a test. </p>
<p><em>“If adversity and hopeless grief have quite taken away the taste for life; if an unfortunate man, strong of
soul and more indignant about his fate than despondent or dejected, wishes for death and yet preserves his
life without loving it, not from inclination or fear but from duty, then his maxim has moral content.” -
Kant </em></p>
<p>Remember the advice I gave on overcoming nihilism, just to wander around until you discover the truth? Mediation
and staring at the ceiling while resisting instant gratification for days on end yield the same result. I did
those things and that's when I realized what makes a meaningful life, afterwards I realized that the ancients
share the same ideas. I had holidays in mid-February 2024 and was sick in them, lay in bed, and had time to
think and to wander around as I recovered, so this text is the legacy of these holidays. Now at least I have
figured out life and completed my spiritual journey. Soon you will realize it yourself and everything will start
to make sense, loose ends will be tied together. Life isn't meaningless, life's meaning is just hard to grasp if
you don't want to see it.</p>
<p>When you think about the meaning of life and are serious about it, you will realize that this ancient piece of
wisdom is immovable and immutable. There is nothing above it and nothing that could destroy this argument,
except the rejection of life itself. If you're a nihilist life stays a test. Life is a test and a test you need
to pass. One can view life's purpose as testing your soul. No matter which religion one has or if one at all, or
what time one is living as or as which person or whether one's life is free of pleasure, life is a test
regardless. If you are depressed, life tests you anyway. If you don't see a point in life, you are failing the
test of life. That's what makes the life of the goldfish worth living, being alive for the blink of an eye is
better than remaining a dead soul for eternity, life doesn't deserve to be sterilized. So, if life is a test,
discipline is one of the most important virtues. - If you feel that every moment is a test, you must not waste
any of it. That's the meaning of life and it's simple. Everything collapses into a single bulletproof
conclusion. Interesting to point out, that women are the embodiment of what constitutes a test and life in
general.</p>
<p>Viewing life as a test not only gives meaning to every life but also makes you grateful. Life is unfair and if
you've been blessed, you owe to the less fortunate to try hard with everything you do. If life is a test, every
struggle makes sense as well as every gift or pleasure. Live as if someone is always watching. This someone is
God or as you may call it, whether you like it or not. It also makes life easier, as you accept that you don't
choose the question but simply try to make the best situation out of anything. You can't decide how your life
plays out to 100%, but you can always decide how to respond. Take responsibility, pointing fingers never works.
Pass the tests life presents. </p>
<p>When life is a test, trust it. Faith goes above love or any other virtue, if you lose faith, you start to give
up. Ask yourself what the most important thing in your life is. A simple answer is 'family' - yet your wife can
divorce you, your children may die or your family may be taken away in other ways. Another simple answer is
'love', yet how often did you stop loving, and how often did you lose it? Everything can be taken away, broken
apart, decay or die; children, family, your wife, your mother, money, health, safety, home, … </p>
<p><em>In the search for the thing that's the most valuable in my life, I concluded that it must be my mind. You can
take love from me, and you can take possessions, but you can't take my experiences and the thoughts I
generated. When you lose everything, you can take out a piece of paper and write.</em></p>
<p>There is only one thing no one can take when you live as if life is a test, and that is faith. Bad things happen
to good people, the world often seems unjust. Yet, you have to keep your faith, if you stop hoping that's when
you stop living. If you were a pilot crashing in the frozen sea, you would die after 15 minutes in the ice-cold
water. When you knew that you would be saved in 25 minutes with a guarantee, you hope would keep you alive.
That's called a miracle. You need to trust life, no matter the circumstances, as losing faith in life is a test
you would fail. Love life with your full heart, even if your heart has been broken. Write as if no one is
reading, speak as if no one is listening, and love, as if you've never been hurt. Life is a test. </p>
<p><em>“There is an overpowered method to figure out what's authentic and what isn't. It's about removing any
distractions and pleasure while staring at the ceiling for hours or days on end. It gives your mind time to
process everything and allows you to think about things nihilistic people pursue thinking about with
pleasure. Do that if you haven't done it already and do it until you have found the answers. Think of death,
your deathbed regrets, and after a few days of solitude, denial, and quietness, you may return. Think of the
things that need to get done before you die, and how many of them you have already completed.” - text #96
</em></p>
<p><em><strong>Kiss the girl you like.</strong></em> Life is a test, but not a scientific one. If life was as simple
as science… How to live, does it mean I must live in discipline every second? I think yes, but with exceptions.
You must be disciplined enough not to kill and neither should you ever be promiscuous, but are you allowed to be
a hedonist once in a while? I admit, you have to decide for yourself, as I don't have all the answers. I know
that passionate hedonism can be a part of life, so maybe it's ok to fail a test once in a while to pass more
tests later on. If you live perfectly disciplined for 360 days, the maintenance thereof may require you to fail
on 5 days of a year. You must view the bigger picture. Now, life is a test, so live by virtue, love, and
discipline! But don't forget to have flaws, you are still a human. Write the novel you've always desired and
allow yourself to be a hedonist once in a while. Eat delicious food and live without regret. Listen to the music
in a restaurant and treat the waiters like a gentleman. Dress well, keep your house clean, and make your garden
express royalty, enjoy the magical redness of the red currant which the golden summer sun shines through. Pray
every day without overthinking. Go to school and then get a job, which you will work. Go for walks and do
sports, look at the sun and blue sky, and grasp nature's beauty. Raise children once the time is ready and enjoy
the eternal cycles of life. Read to fill the liminal time and wonder about the complexity of life. Enjoy your
black bread with cold water occasionally; if you get fancy, add butter and replace the water with peppermint
tea. Don't try to rush things too much and don't live too slow either. Live in a small village house and enjoy
the calm, fresh air, with the only noise being a little stream going on its course to an ocean, step by step,
without resisting. Learn just to be happy and to enjoy the simple moments in life. Life is simple, why does one
insist on making it complicated? If you find such a simple life to be boring, which I will seriously doubt,
especially once you get older, do the things I wrote about in excess - pursue entrepreneurship if you want
tension in your life. I doubt you will want to do so, because for what? For you to come to your village home to
beautify your garden as you would do in any case? A little village chateau and an ordinary village house don't
differ too much anyway. So, just live and don't make things more complicated than they are. Sometimes we
distance ourselves too much and make things too complicated. </p>
<p><em><strong>Not so fast.</strong></em> The word “meaning” is so abstract that it's practically meaningless. The
shallow person may think that meaning stems from hardship, if something is hard to get, you find it more
meaningful. But that's not correct, since there are many counterexamples of useless pain. Hence, one may be
tempted to think that life's meaning comes from emotions as the rational machine may as well not exist, it
wouldn't care. The spirit that endlessly denies is also rational - “I think therefore I am” is not complete. “I
feel therefore I am” is already a lot closer. Though, that's not the core. The core, where all meaning starts is
an emotion - gratitude. Be happy to be alive and be grateful for everything with your full heart. Appreciate
life before it's too late to live a meaningful one. If you are grateful, everything else will be a bonus, life
will become a gift rather than a liability. </p>
<h1>5. Life is paradise - the beauty of being</h1>
<p><em><strong>Is there a life unworthy of living?</strong></em> A life without consciousness doesn't notice or care
about its death, but a life without consciousness doesn't care about meaning either. The argumentation for that
is decently complex and the argument comes from experience, Christmas 2023. If you suffer to the point of losing
consciousness, you stop thinking altogether. If you stop thinking and have high levels of consciousness, there
will be a voice in your head trying to recover you, similar to the voice that tells you whether you are living
right or not. The absence of this voice would mean that you wouldn't care about anything and just continue to
live. But because this voice calls you, you start to realize that your life is worth living, you realize what
Descartes meant with “I think therefore I am” or “I feel therefore I am” which is more accurate. To phrase this
answer differently, a goldfish lives and cares about nothing. You live and care about your life, which makes it
inherently valuable, similar to the concept of dignity. A goldfish can't decide whether his life is meaningful,
you can. Therefore, you have a level of dignity, because of your autonomy and the inherent value it grants life.
So, a life not worthy of living doesn't care whether this is a useful concept and just lives or doesn't. A life
that thinks and feels, which can ask this question has some autonomy and dignity, which makes this life worth
living. </p>
<p><em><strong>Life over death.</strong></em> I don't know whether this argument is pragmatic or idealistic, but
another argument for a life worth living is that of gratitude mentioned above; one should appreciate the short
interruption of eternal death called life. So, there may not be such a thing as a life unworthy of living.
Albert Camus, whose philosophy I don't particularly like because of its nihilist taste, pointed out Sisyphus, a
Greek myth. Sisyphus was destined to roll a rock up a hill as his life, which is representative of life in
general, life is nothing more than a fight against the universe's indifference, which in this case is the rock
rolling down. This is not a very deep life, but still better than death, death is more boring, to formulate very
pragmatically. </p>
<p><em><strong>Thinking a bit further.</strong></em> Life is inherently meaningful, as life is constructed in a way
where you have the freedom to think what you like and the freedom to decide what is true. That's because reality
is too complex to be grasped. Nothing seems to be definite and the truth seems to be hidden. A central theme of
Dostoyevsky's parabola “The Grand Inquisitor” goes as follows. If Jesus demonstrated his divinity to prove every
pagan wrong, by jumping off a cliff and saving himself or by turning bread from stone at will, people would
practically be forced to believe in Jesus instead of being convinced with their hearts that Christianity is
right. Jesus also refused to bring paradise back to earth, as this would render people away from their free
will. Reality is also full of contradictions. Jesus's resurrection was physical, which is a miracle, but so was
Muhammad's writing of the Quaran, as he was illiterate. So, what is true and meaningful remains a question one
needs to ask constantly. There are some things we will never know. </p>
<p><em>As I wrote this paragraph a little wonder occurred. I moved my arms to stretch and hit my watch as a result,
the metal bracelet broke apart and the parts flew away. I searched the parts without success, only as it
occurred to me that this was a sign, I found the last part and could repair the bracelet of my watch. Now I
wonder what a stupid atheist would say. Reality is interesting, that's what I have to say and God sent me a
little sign. Now my watch is whole again. </em></p>
<p><em><strong>To your children.</strong></em> Give them a meaningful life by removing them from ideology and
instant gratification. If you can explain why, you believe a certain thing, it is a valid counter to that which
their nihilistic classmates will propagate to them. For example, I can pretty well explain why I believe life is
has meaning. Keep them away from technology for as long as possible, most of your problems stem from technology
if you live by the deepest realization. For example, technology makes exploration meaningless, if you can just
use a navigation app. It makes effort meaningless if you can entertain yourself endlessly. It instills hostile
beliefs and removes consciousness. So, keep them away from electronics, unless you want them to live a
meaningless life! </p>
<p><em><strong>Life is paradise.</strong></em> Construct yourself the version of the perfect version of the world.
One where you busy yourself with pleasure only, where you eat cake and care about nothing but the continuation
of the species, and a warm bubble bath. It gets boring, there is no reason to live in infinite abundance. If the
perfect life is boring, won't people try to end paradise for something interesting to happen, or simply to prove
a point? If you construct yourself a world that is slightly more interesting than paradise, let's say in life in
a doomsday bunker or a massive spaceship, you would run out of meaningful things to do. Any life without
suffering is boring and meaningless. If you were offered to live in a world that consists of nothing but
pleasure, you would refuse, as it's meaningless. Even the nihilists agree and this philosophy digs its own grave
here, because if happiness was just brain chemicals, i.e. just material, how could anyone refuse to live in
simulation with infinite pleasure? It demonstrates that happiness is beyond the material and lies in the
spiritual, at least partially. John Stuart Mill concluded that there are two kinds of pleasure, the lower ones,
the hedonic kind, and the higher ones, such as the pleasure that lies in suffering but brings fulfillment, for
example, a massive hike with a heavy backpack and rain for a single great photo. Even prettier pictures from the
internet seem worthless to you in comparison to one taken by yourself. People want experiences, real ones, not
merely results and fake experiences. Taking things a step further, if you lived in a hedonist paradise, you
would be unable to stand up, you become a fat cripple. Another example. Let's construct a fictional computer
program from the year 2024 that could easily determine which people would create the perfect couple for each
other based on all of the data collected. Perfect not just in terms of perfect, but also in the sense that the
flaws align. Most people would refuse this offer, humans value their autonomy, dignity, and free will, and
people don't like being a means to an end. People want the hunt, not just the mammoth. Viewing the pleasure of
paradise as ultimate is not plausible either, because there is more to life than pleasure, for example, love is
similar to pleasure from the perspective of neurotransmitters and hormones, but still distinctly different.
Other values are impossible in paradise, such as free will or what person one wants to be. Additionally, a
simulated, perfect world has nothing to discover, hence there is no reason to exist, the miracles in a simulated
world aren't real and in paradise, they are in excess or don't occur. The biblical story starts with humans
deciding to give up paradise, tearing
down the walls of near-infinite pleasure and safety to explore the world, gaining consciousness as a result. -
Therefore, life is paradise, and people are too blind to see it. We want an infinite world with surprises, we
want a higher spiritual connection with the universe, and we want our free will. It doesn't get boring. Every
story ever told is based on struggle, and you don't want to live in a world without stories. People want what is
real, not what brings happiness without ends. If music brings pleasure, listening to music endlessly does not,
hence, limits are vital for pleasure to exist in the first place. So, limited reality is better than one of
excess, the truth lies in the middle, just as usual. No pleasure without pain and no meaning without gratitude.
</p>
<p><em><strong>A little love letter.</strong></em> Precisely a month ago I wrote a not-so-short love letter which
got me rejected. It contained a little surprise, while I folded it and put it in an envelope, it revealed what
this text was about in the 3 visible lines. </p>
<p><em>“In any case, don't tear this paper. And no matter what happens in the next decades, I want you to remember
that you can find love and I wish you, for the lack of a better word, the best. And I hope your favorite
genre is love letters, starting now.” </em></p>
<p>This core message of the letter stretches through the entirety of the text. I write, that on my wall, there is an
icon of Mary and infant Jesus. This icon is for matters of the heart, and she wears blue clothes, while the blue
represents sadness - the emotion love brings the most. After a few boring and a few brilliant lines, which I
promised in the letter to keep a secret, the letter concludes just as it started. Despite every pain, life is
worth living.</p>
<p><em>“My favorite emotion is the way the leaves fly in the mildly warm wind of last
autumn days. That's the emotion you get after having accomplished something and let go, without resistance,
just in the moment things take their natural course again. The leaves come and go, just as the wind,
seasons, and the entirety of the seemingly eternal universe. That's what fulfilment feels like and it's
permanent. This is my favorite emotion and believe it or not, I have tears of joy in my eyes this instant,
already for the second time, despite having formulated this paragraph twice. There is nothing better than
working on something for years, exhausting yourself, and then getting a few breaths of peaceful stillness.
How pleasant would it be to spend such a moment holding hands? Bittersweet piano. It's when every second is
filled with pain, but the bigger picture is as wonderful as it can be, every stroke of the brush brings
horror and the result is the prettiest image one can grasp - truly breathtaking - just as the last moment of
stillness before you know that you are ready for something new and even better, and this new even better
time is ahead. I wish to see the golden leaves falling from the trees in windy sunshine with you, where the
sun shines for one of the last times in the year before the dark and cold winter. And I would cite Goethe,
</em></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><em><br>
“Will I say to the moment, just linger,<br> you are so beautiful.”</em></p>
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