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fool.min.js
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fool.min.js
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/* Fool.js by @idiot */
(function(a){a.fn.prefixCSS=function(a,b){var c=["Webkit","Moz","Ms","O"],d={};for(var e in c){d[c[e]+(a.charAt(0).toUpperCase()+a.substr(1))]=b}return this.css(d)};a.fool=function(b){var c='<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/*?fs=1&autoplay=1&loop=1" style="position:absolute;left:-999em;top:-999em;visibility:hidden;-webkit-user-select:none;-webkit-user-drag:none;" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>',d="oHg5SJYRHA0",e=["v8CIDdKvUkg","UwB9m4FslO4","LH5ay10RTGY","DkQ83yLqpJE","T6j4f8cHBIM","kffacxfA7G4","RFzyYYZsxGc","v20jRHL492Y","Z8bpeeuHDOA","KHy7DGLTt8g","_6-KspZegsE","l12Csc_lW0Q"],f={hiddenVideos:function(a){var b=a?a:e[Math.round(Math.random()*(e.length-1))];return this.append(c.replace("*",b))},rick:function(){return f.hiddenVideos.call(g,d)},vanishingElements:function(){return a("h1,h2,h3,p,div:not(.timber),input,header,footer,section").hover(function(){if(Math.random()>.75){a(this).css("opacity",a(this).css("opacity")==0?1:0)}})},fallingScrollbar:function(){a(".timber").fadeOut(200,function(){a(this).remove()});var b=a(window).height()+30,c='<div class="timber" style="-webkit-transform-origin:50% 100%;-moz-transform-origin:50% 100%;-ms-transform-origin:50% 100%;-o-transform-origin:50% 100%;transform-origin:50% 100%;-webkit-transition:-webkit-transform .8s;-moz-transition:-moz-transform .8s;-ms-transition:-ms-transform .8s;-o-transition:-o-transform .8s;transition:transform .8s;position:fixed;right:0;bottom:0;overflow:scroll;width:14px;height:'+b+'px">'+(new Array(80)).join("<br>")+"</div>",d=this.css("overflow","hidden").append(c),e="rotate(-100deg)";setTimeout(function(){d.children(".timber").prefixCSS("transition",".8s").css({right:-23,bottom:7})},250)},questionTime:function(){var a=["Are ya ready, kids?","I can't hear ya!","Ohhhhh, who lives in a pineapple under the sea?","Absorbent and yellow and pourous is he","If nautical nonsense be somethin' ya wish.","Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish."],b="Spongebob Squarepants. Spongebob Squarepants.";for(var c in a){window.prompt(a[c])}for(var d=0;d<4;d++){alert(b)}},h4xx0r:function(){this[0].contentEditable=true;return document.designMode="on"},upsideDown:function(){g.attr("style","-webkit-transform:rotate(180deg);-moz-transform:rotate(180deg);-ms-transform:rotate(180deg);-o-transform:rotate(180deg);transform:rotate(180deg);filter:progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.Matrix(M11=-1, M12=-1.2246063538223773e-16, M21=1.2246063538223773e-16, M22=-1, sizingMethod='auto expand');zoom:1;")},wonky:function(){g.attr("style","-webkit-transform:rotate(-.7deg);-moz-transform:rotate(-.7deg);-ms-transform:rotate(-.7deg);-o-transform:rotate(-.7deg);transform:rotate(-.7deg);filter:progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.Matrix(M11=0.999925369660452,M12=0.012217000835247169,M21=-0.012217000835247169,M22=0.999925369660452,sizingMethod='auto expand');zoom:1;")},flash:function(){var a=function(){g.delay(250).animate({opacity:0},1).delay(250).animate({opacity:1},1,a)};a()},crashAndBurn:function(){for(i=0;i<=0;i++){a.fool("crashAndBurn")}},shutter:function(){var a=g.append('<div id="shutter" />').children("#shutter");a.css({position:"fixed",left:0,top:0,right:0,bottom:"100%",background:"#000"}).animate({bottom:0},500)},unclickable:function(){g.attr("style","pointer-events:none;-webkit-user-select:none;-moz-user-select:none;cursor:wait;")}},g=a("body");if(b){if(typeof b=="object"){for(i in b){if(b[i]!=false&&f[i]){f[i].call(g)}}}else{if(f[b]){f[b].call(g)}}}else{return f["rick"].call(g)}}})(jQuery)