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office.txt
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office.txt
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so show us how you'd normally sell to a
female client okay
with pleasure time to learn a few new
tricks old dog you got this Schrute
you've just walked into her office and
begin hello hello may I please speak to
your boss no she is the boss I am hi I'm
mr. Hannon how can I help you okay this
isn't working for me
because no one would ever believe that
she would be a boss he's absolutely
right I'm really struggling oh I'll be
the buyer hello mr. Schrute nice to see
you please have a seat I never sit down
during sales meetings I want to appear
aggressive and imposing I'm going to
sell to you in 12 minutes
no actually she'd like to take her time
discussing her needs I will tell her
what her needs are and then fill them
this is gonna work out best for you if
you just relax and do nothing once I'm
finished it's over okay let's stop here
anyone have any thoughts I thought it
went great I have written down a few
questions one have you ever killed a
woman how many women have you killed
please tell will you not kill me okay
when you're selling to women it is
crucial that you listen Dwight also you
want to respect their are you listening
now yes okay well you have to show us
that's impossible listening happens in
the ear and in the brain I mean some
organisms have external hairs that
vibrates to indicate auditory
stimulation but unfortunately our
external hairs don't vibrate at all
uh-huh uh-huh what are you doing a
little smile and a nod shows that I hear
you got it kind of Nellie why don't you
tell Dwight what we were doing earlier
today and Dwight you show us that you're
listening well we were in the warehouse
where we were discussing the mural that
I've commissioned Pam to paint there we
were talking about the color schemes and
the major themes we want to hit children
of the world coming together
sing down trees to make paper but not in
a child library way it's just up and
down just a regular not like a person
right I'm a person yes you're a person
yeah we can do this all right
and then we thought we I can't I just
got a can't carry on with that face look
I'm gonna get nightmares with that face
I mean he looks like he is laboring over
a stool having just eaten human flesh
it's a bit extreme yeah I'm so I'm sorry
but that is truth
he's screw at the meetings in less than
an hour all right God Dwight just ignore
every instinct you have it's all garbage
okay you're the woman I'm the salesman
watch what I do and try to learn okay
I'm a woman
good mm-hmm miss Thomas so good to see
you hello or are those your kids are so
cute they could be models thank you I'm
so proud of them I carried each one of
them for nine months inside of my torso
and then push them out of my vagina boo
weird okay this is a lost cause he's
hopeless ten years ago I didn't care if
Dwight got married or died a beet
farming bachelor but having kids makes
you so soft