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Managing Humans: Biting and Humorous Tales of a Software Engineering Manager

by Michael Lopp

The Management Quiver

1. Don't Be a Prick

  • A great manager is someone with whom you can make a connection no matter where you sit in the organization chart.
  • You must see the people who work with you. Constructing an insightful opinion about a person in seconds will make you a phenomenal manager.
  • It is your full time job to listen to your employees, to mentally document how they are built, and to fulfill their needs.

2. Managers Are Not Evil

  • The what-do-you-do disconnect between employees and managers is at the heart of why employees don't trust their managers, or find them to be evil.
  • Run away from any evil manager, or someone who puts themselves before their team, who lie, and who have no ability to lead.
  • Because you don't understand what someone else does at your company, you're automatically biased against them. And because you understand your job intimately, you believe it's more important.
  • Tell your manager what you do and why it matters. If they aren't an engineer, find a way to speak their language.
  • A manager's job is to take the skills that got him promoted, and make them scale. This means building a team to reinforce where he is weak.
  • Regardless of the relationship with your manager, you'll speak differently to him than you would to a friend, because he's part of the organization.
  • As a manager, you carve out time for regular one-on-ones so that you have a chance to learn.
  • Delegation is a slippery slope for managers, because pure delegators are slowly becoming irrelevant to their organizations.
  • People who work for pure delegators don't rely on them for work because they can't depend on them for action, which pushes that manager out of the loop.
  • Politically active managers may be slimy, but they are informed, and they know when change is afoot and what action to take to best represent their organization.
  • The organization's view of your manager is its view of you. Judge his clout when interacting with his superiors, or with his cross-functional peers.
  • Your manager is not a manager until he participated in a layoff, or participates in the constructive deconstruction of an organization.
  • You want to see who your manager will become because it's often the first time he sees the organization is bigger than the people.
  • A successful organization is built of layers of people glued together with managers, who translate between layers in both directions.

3. Stables and Volatiles

  • The birth of a 1.0 launch initiates the split of a development team into two groups: Stables and Volatiles.
  • Stables happily work with direction, appreciate plans, calmly assess risk and mitigate failure, and tend to generate process.
  • Volatiles have issues with authority, seek a thrill in risk, build a lot but nothing stable or beautiful, aren't reliable, and leave a trail of disruption.
  • Volatiles turn into Stables by building process and carefully describing how things should be done, because they have the scars and experience.
  • These new Stables hire people who are familiar, who are predisposed to be Volatiles, which in turn leads to new disruption.
  • A Stable's choice of disruption is within the context of the last war, while a second-generation Volatile will remind you "there is no box."
  • As a leader, you need to figure out how to let the Volatiles disrupt, while constantly negotiating a temporary peace treaty with the Stables.

4. The Rands Test

  • A growing group needs to continually invest in new ways to figure out what it is collectively thinking, so everyone knows what's going on.
  • When shit hits the fan, don't cancel your one-on-one with folks who are responsible, or with folks who can prevent future fan hittage.
  • In a team meeting, kill lies, and identify what is broken and start discussing how to fix it.
  • The presence of status reports comes down to control, a lack of imagination, and a lack of trust in the organization.
  • Be comfortable saying "no" to your boss. If you are always on your best behavior and unwilling to speak your mind, then something is wrong.
  • Independently judge whether your company is growing or dying, and develop a defensible opinion regarding the state of the business.
  • A regular meeting where everyone can hear the CEO explain his or her vision of the company, and that allows anyone to ask a question, is vital.
  • Part of a healthy organization isn't just that information is freely flowing around; it's that people are leveraging it or acting on it.
  • Busy feels good, but it is usually tactical and not strategic. Find time in which you're investing in yourself at work.
  • In the absence of information, people make shit up, and if they feel threatened, what they make up amplifies their fears. So kill the gossip.

5. How to Run a Meeting

  • When two people talk, it's a conversation. With three or more, it's a meeting, which needs rules so people know when to talk.
  • An alignment meeting are regular meetings with tactical communication exchanges. Creative meetings require diving into solving a hard problem.
  • The agenda answers the question of how everyone can get out of a meeting so that they can actually work.
  • The referee shapes the meeting to meet the requirements of the agenda and the expectations of the participants.
  • The referee must scan for attendees who aren't engaged. If someone is doing anything except listening, then they aren't listening.
  • To re-engage someone, ask a question relevant to the current state of the topic, referee silence, or change the scenery.
  • As a referee, own the meeting. Summoning the dictator to shut someone down is a last resort, because then everyone may shut down.
  • A good referee will improvise, whether letting someone ramble who's onto something, or cutting a meeting short because progress is blocked.
  • Meetings must exist, but meetings cannot be seen as the only solution for making progress.

6. The Twinge

  • Freshman managers think it's their job to be responsible for their team's every thought and action, but you must learn to delegate.
  • You must understand the art of evaluating a Spartan set of data, extracting the truth, and trusting your "Twinges."
  • Management is a total career restart, and so approaches you use for products isn't going to work for people.
  • As a manager, your day is full of stories. Always be asking if you believe each story, knowing that it's incomplete, and that it supports one point of view.
  • Sniffing around pisses people off, and may be interpreted as micromanagement, but it's drawing on your past experiences to find failures, which cause Twinges.
  • If you don't keep a story in check with a Twinge, and that story jumps from one person to the next, then you let a lie propagate.
  • In summary, listen to stories, map them to your own experience, and ask questions and demand specifics when there is a Twinge.

7. The Update, the Vent, and the Disaster

  • Your job in a one-on-one is to give the smallest voice a chance to be heard.
  • Always hold a one-on-one at the same time each week; this sends a weekly reminder that you are there for them, no matter how busy.
  • Give a one-on-one 30 minutes at least; don't reduce the time because you have so many people working for you, because you work for them.
  • Start by asking "how are you?" It's deliberately vague so that the recipient can't help but put themselves in the answer.
  • As you listen to a one-on-one, put the person in one of three buckets: the update, the vent, and the disaster.
  • A successful one-on-one is not a status report, it is an opportunity to learn something new above the daily grind of business.
  • If the one-on-one is a status report, listen twice as hard for something you can discuss, investigate, and explore.
  • If that fails, then either come with prepared points, do a mini-performance review, or discuss your own professional disaster.
  • Don't confuse a vent for a conversation. They don't want a solution, they want to be heard, and you must listen as long as it takes.
  • A vent concludes and you can jump in when the other person loses steam, or it devolves into a rant.
  • With a disaster, the worst response is any semblance of emotion. Don't ask questions, just be quiet and let the emotion pass.
  • With a disaster, you're not experiencing the problem anymore, but the employee's emotional baggage regarding the problem.
  • A disaster is the result of poor management, when someone believes that the only option for catalyzing change is to totally lose their shit.
  • A one-on-one is your chance to perform weekly preventative maintenance while also understanding the health of your team.

8. The Monday Freakout

  • If someone is going to freak out, it's going to be on a Monday, after fretting over the weekend about the work that awaits.
  • When the freakout happens, don't participate. Instead listen and maintain eye contact, and repeatedly nod.
  • There is likely a very real issue underlying the freakout, after the noisy preamble designed to get your attention.
  • When you take the reins, ask questions; this moves the person from the emotional state to the rational one.
  • One pleasant side-effect of attacking freakouts with questions is that the person is already close to a solution, so dig for it.
  • The fact that a person is screaming at you is a good sign that he clearly, loudly cares. But you still screwed up.

9. Lost in Translation

  • Beginners are not burdened with the complexity and depth of understanding; they shine brightly with enthusiasm until The Fall.
  • When getting to know an employee, the first question you want to be able to answer is, "What does this person want?"
  • When you know where someone wants to be, only then can you start to figure out how to get them there.
  • When communication is suspect, rely heavily on clarification. When you say something that might be ambiguous, ask "What did you hear?"
  • In return, when you listen, and the topic or intent isn't abundantly clear, restate "Okay, what I heard was..."
  • Sometimes you must verbally go back and forth until a work commitment is stated, because it is never implied.

10. Agenda Detection

  • An informational meeting simply has talkers and listeners; there is no problem to be solved other than the transmission of information.
  • At a conflict resolution meeting, some problem needs to be solved, and agenda detection is more complex.
  • Participants are players, who participate and want something out of the meeting, and pawns, who are silent or instruments of running the meeting.
  • If you're sitting in a meeting where you're unable to identify any players, get the hell out.
  • The pros are the players who are on the winning side of the issue, while the cons are getting screwed and look pissed off.
  • A good pro doesn't acknowledge that they're the pro, and so they don't have to take the heat for whatever the conflict is.
  • To get out, figure out what the cons want, then synthesize everything into constructive next steps and communicate that to the cons.
  • If you're 30 minutes into a meeting and can't figure out what the issue is, then there are too many issues, and it's time to go.

11. Dissecting the Mandate

  • There are three distinct phases to the mandate, which is decide, deliver, and deliver (again).
  • When the debate is no longer productive, and people start confusing the emotion with the decision, then it's time to make a decision.
  • For every person who has a strong opinion, there are probably four others who just want someone to make a decision so they can get back to work.
  • A mandate may annoy the concerned parties, but the silent majority will appreciate the peace and quiet after your verdict.
  • A good mandate takes moxie. There team has to leave the room knowing a decision has been made, and there is no wiggle room.
  • If your team has argued for awhile, a mandate feels less like laying down the law, and more like relaying the results of an investigation.
  • Deliver (again) is individually taking the time to express your reasoning to concerned parties, both winners and losers.
  • Expect venting from the losers. If instead they're nodding their head, they don't believe the battle is over, so you must have them open up.
  • If you have to relay some higher authority's mandate, you must figure out its justification to satisfy the rest of your team.

12. Information Starvation

  • For each piece of information you see, you must correctly determine who on your team needs that information to do their job.
  • The creation of information is the act of creating context and foundation when there is none.
  • When you hear gossip, listen not only for what is actually being said, but for what informational gap in knowledge is being filled by this gossip.
  • Perhaps the biggest loss of essential information is when managers rely on their brains as to-do lists.
  • Maintain a consistent flow of information. Even if it's useless to you, you never know who on your team may care about it.
  • Taking the time to give each piece of information that you're passing on a bit of your personal context never hurts.
  • Your team is always going to tell you what they need to know. Employ some aggressive silence to bring it out of them.

13. Subtlety, Subterfuge, and Silence

  • Management is chess; when presented with a problem, look at the board, figure out the consequences of each move, and then pick one.
  • Subtlety starts with humility; sometimes your approach needs to start with admitting that you don't have all the answers.
  • Subtlety finishes with elegance; you solve the problem in an ingenious, novel way that builds and refines your management aptitude.
  • Subterfuge is a risk. Using it for good means keeping the intent honest, but it doesn't mean that someone isn't going to be pissed.
  • To talk about something relevant, you've got to gather and to process data. In silence, you can assess.
  • Everyone's basic agenda is visible after talking to them for 30 seconds. Everyone says what they have and what they need.
  • Use silence to learn about your coworkers, and to construct a better picture about how to interact with them.

14. Managementese

  • Managers are hubs of communication. The better they communicate across boundaries, the more data they have, and the better their decisions are.
  • When you use managementese with an employee, they usually know what you're talking about, but you've self-identified as manager.
  • Managers in a hurry needs to remember that managementese puts you a few key metaphors from sounding like a used-car salesman.
  • When you're talking to individuals, ditch the managementese, and talk to them using the familiar language of a friend.
  • Your goal is to have a conversation, and so both people sitting at the table need to trust and understand what is being said.

15. You're Not Listening

  • The most basic rule of listening is: If they don't trust you, then they aren't going to say shit.
  • A good conversation begins with a bunch of words elegantly connected with listening; it all starts with the ability to listen.
  • Eye contact is the easiest way to demonstrate your full attention, and it's also the easiest way to destroy it.
  • Keep asking stupid questions based on whatever topics until you find an answer where the other person lights up.
  • Being a curious fool builds connective tissue, allowing you to develop a mental profile of someone, and setting you up for bigger conversations.
  • To stop on a point, repeat their last sentence by saying "What I hear you saying is..." and repeat your version of their thought.
  • This communicates that you are directing your full attention to understand what the person said and what it means.
  • When you can't find the question, segue, or words to bring out what the other person wants to say, disrupt the conversation with silence.

16. Fred Hates the Off-Site

  • At some organizational scale, natural cross-pollination and communication activities that used to happen organically can no longer occur.
  • Off-sites create a space and place where a team can bond, a strategy can be devised, or you can begin an epic journey.
  • You can't invite everyone; you must select a group of folks who are going to best represent the company on whatever huge problem you're solving.
  • Everyone should present at the offsite. To reduce attendees, cut people who can't present anything meaningful, or people presenting the same thing.
  • If you invite someone who is not presenting, then they should speak up randomly and brilliantly.
  • The off-site is to create grounds to speak heresy, and that's easier when you aren't surrounded by visual reminders of obvious constraints.
  • The Master of Ceremonies is the person responsible for not just moving the day along, but also knowing when to stop and pivot.
  • The Taker of Notes is tasked with not only capturing the bright ideas, but the right ideas.
  • Avoid personality tests. They apply clever labels to people, but to really understand one, solve a hard problem together.
  • Don't invite external facilitators; they don't know the culture, the problem at hand, the politics, or the personalities.
  • An off-site must be at least two days long, letting people soak in a problem overnight, and then attack it the next day.
  • Unless the energy of an off-site is channeled back into the workspace and immediately acted upon, then an off-site is a frustrating opportunity to dream, but not to act.

17. A Different Kind of DNA

  • Everyone wants to grow, but in many companies the only perceived growth path is via management.
  • Job grades are a distraction packaged as a solution to the fact that we don't have a good idea how to grow engineers outside the management hierarchy.
  • We need managers to scale responsibility and communication, but we need to dispel the idea that they are the exclusive decision-makers.
  • DNA, or a design n' architecture, is a formal meeting with bright engineers from across the team or company tasked with a specific purpose.
  • It has the best candidates to vet the idea, to talk about how to make it better, to constructively criticize, while being drama- and politics-free.
  • If you don't contribute to the DNA meeting, you won't be invited back. And if you don't bring your A game, you'll get mentally trampled.
  • A DNA meeting is a staff meeting of the influential engineers who don't want direct reports, but want to lead.
  • DNA exists as an acknowledgment that a team is led not just by the folks who build the people, but also by the people who build the product.

18. An Engineering Mindset

  • The first rule of management is to stay flexible.
  • If you remove yourself from the code, then you remove yourself from the act of creation.
  • Use the development environment to build the product, so that you understand the language your team uses when talking about getting stuff done.
  • Be able to draw a detailed architectural diagram of the product, to demonstrate that you understand everything about it.
  • Write unit tests, fix some bugs, or even own a feature.
  • By building the product you're closer to your team, and you're closer to how software development is constantly changing in your organization.

19. Tear It Down

  • People who want flat organizations don't understand how groups of people organize, and haven't built anything with more than a few individuals.
  • There are three leaders: The Lead, The Lead of Leads, and The Director.
  • The Lead is at the beginning of leading the work, not doing it. They are tactical. Their focus is the team.
  • The Lead of Leads no longer has any hands-on responsibility. They are equal parts tactical and strategic. Their focus is across the company.
  • The Leads of Leads run the company, because they are the ones who are ensuring that the work actually gets done.
  • A bad Lead of Lead is fatal; they lose touch with Directors and lack strategic data, or lose touch with Leads and lack tactical data.
  • The Director curates the vision. They are ideally completely strategic. The Lead of Leads must translate this vision into action.
  • There is no hierarchy in the roles described above, because leaderships comes from everywhere.

20. Titles Are Toxic

  • Titles were created as a way to give folks a path toward growth, not for judging someone else's importance from a business card alone.
  • A job is a well-defined thing that has a clear and easy-to-understand set of responsibilities, while a title often has neither.
  • The first growth path is the lead or management track, which is there so that communications and decisions can be sensibly organized.
  • Your titles might be toxic if they don't reflect a job that you would consider to be of real and obvious value.
  • The second growth path, assigning titles to engineers, cannot capture the seemingly infinite ways in which people evolve.
  • Titles place an absolute professional value on individuals, while the reality is that you are a collection of skills of varying ability.
  • It is a tall order for a title to capture expected ability, to measure seniority, and to serve as a measure of compensation.

21. Saying No

  • When the team no longer questions the decisions of a manager, that manager feels like his decisions are always correct, which is statistically impossible.
  • The good managers are those who have learned how to recover from decisions with dignity, and with help from the team.
  • Saying no forces an idea to defend itself with facts, and for your manager to stop and think.
  • Saying no is saying "stop," and when everyone thrives on movement, the ability to strategically choose when to stop is a sign of a manager willing to defy convention.
  • Don't be paralyzed by the fact that you're one big, bad decision from being out of a job. Embrace the confidence of being "the boss."
  • You are responsible for making great decisions, and the best way to do that is to involve as much of your team as possible in those decisions.
  • By including your team in the decision process and creating an environment where they can say no, you're creating trust.

Part II: The Process is the Product

22. 1.0

  • You're going to be screwed at some point. Keep thinking, don't yell, treat those you work with decently, and you'll be fine.
  • Maslow's hierarchy of needs is helpful with folks on the edge, and can provide insight when someone is stressing out.
  • Don't trust charts and graphs, because they paint the world in a clean and linear fashion that only supports the message of the author.
  • In the Rands 1.0 hierarchy, the top is the Pitch, or the idea. You're in a hurry, so don't forget it.
  • The People are next, and no one is indispensable. You must let go of people who aren't working on the 1.0 product with a sense of urgency.
  • Then Process, which defines communication. The process doesn't have to be good, but it has to be stuck in a place where everyone can see it.
  • A great stagnation warning sign during 1.0 is when someone decides to create an organization chart saying "This is who does what."
  • Finally, you have Product. You don't have a company until you have a product, which a neutral party must validate because you've gone nuts.
  • The lower the failure in the pyramid, the higher the cost. A failure of pitch is a structural one that affects your entire company.
  • What you're really building in a 1.0 is a lasting, interesting culture that continues to build great products if you're lucky.

23. The Process Myth

  • Engineers don't hate process. They hate process that can't defend itself.
  • If you dig into process, you'll find the circumstances that led to its necessity, how it could be awesome, and your role in maintaining that awesome.
  • Process is created not as a means of control; it's being built as documentation of culture and values for The New Guard.
  • HR is good at defining process, but bad at explaining the culture. Process should be written by those who are also experts in the culture.
  • When cultural bellwethers leave, so does their cultural context and understanding of the root pain that defined these bulleted lists.
  • A healthy process is required to stand up to scrutiny, and when a process fails to do so, it must change.

24. How to Start

  • Beginning has three phases: You're either fretting about starting, you're preparing to begin, or you've begun.
  • Stress is a creativity buzz kill. When you're stressed, you're in survival mode, but elegant solutions require offense.
  • Mornings have the gift of optimism because nothing has screwed up your day yet.
  • Evenings are dark, repetitive reminders that no matter what you do, time is going to pass and you've likely wasted some of it.
  • Mornings allow you to flex the creative side of your brain; evenings, when you're tired, allow you to flex the logical side.
  • A hard thing is never done by reading a book or an article about doing it; a hard thing is done by figuring out how to start.

25. Taking Time to Think

  • The time to kick off deep thinking is right after your last major release, when every lesson of the prior release is in the forefront of the team's mind.
  • Schedule a brainstorm meeting and a prototype meeting in the same week, so that no one forgets everything over the weekend.
  • Assuming you have an idea of what to talk about, invite those with an educated opinion; otherwise invite people chosen at random.
  • Avoid inviting "obstructionists" who map every new idea against previous experience and then declare the idea "unoriginal."
  • Leave the first meeting with five hot topics that people want to address. Create prototypes, wireframes, etc. in the second meeting.
  • Red flags as weeks pass are constantly revisiting decisions, the same list of attendees, people venting for too long, and the to-do list always growing.
  • These meetings will slowly die off as you move from design to development. In general, questions should be getting answered, not created.

26. The Value of the Soak

  • You can spend a lot of energy deciding on what the big decisions might be, but that's much less important than making the decision.
  • Active soaks are activities that you can direct and usually require gathering content.
  • Passive soaks are activities where you point your brain in a random direction and pray.
  • To do an active soak, ask dumb questions to form a picture, pitch a stranger your mental picture, and then iterate.
  • To do a passive soak, sleep on it, because your subconscious can construct elegant solutions when you least expect it.

27. Capturing Context

  • Value is created when people choose to capture context and share the context of their content.
  • We need our tools to allow us to capture context at the moment when we're being bright, not Friday at 4pm when we're escaping work.

28. Trickle Theory

  • The only source of measurable truth regarding the product is the bug database.
  • The Critic is the internal voice who does careful and critical analysis of your life.
  • When you put an item on a to-do list, you avoid conflict with The Critic, who will argue with you about starting an impossible task.
  • Tasks are on a spectrum of impossibly dull (requiring no mental effort but vast in size) and impossibly hard.
  • In either case, the first move you must make is starting the task. Progress and momentum yields confidence, silencing The Critic.
  • After you start working, iterate. Fine-tune your process to eliminate inefficiencies.
  • If you're working on an impossibly hard or impossibly dull task and you're blocked by boredom or confusion, mix it up.
  • Mixing it up silences The Critic, stimulates your brain with new material, and still allows you to continue processing the task in the background.

29. When the Sky Falls

  • Given a disaster, your first goal is to understand absolutely everything you need to know about its current state.
  • Get a War Room to break everyone from their current flow. Focus on breadth of information acquisition until you have a glimpse of a theory.
  • Vet your theory with at least three qualified others who are not directly involved in the preceding step.
  • Once your theory is vetted, put it on the whiteboard and assign owners to each and every task. Don't let any name be yours.
  • While others work, your job is internal public relations. Communicating the status is also a way of vetting the plan and the progress.
  • When the sky is falling, fixing the situation is a bandage, but understanding what you're truly trying to fix is the cure.

30. Hacking is Important

  • Hacking creates new things which is a disruptive act, which scares the reasonable people who represent the majority.
  • Those who are responsible for maintaining and building on success will not understand why hacking is important.
  • A healthy product company is at odds with itself, as it must normalize to create predictability, but also build something new to disrupt that normality.
  • Failure to create predictability results in chaos; failure to hack and create chaos results in losing to more agile competitors.

31. Entropy Crushers

  • A project manager is responsible for shipping a product, whereas a product manager is responsible for making sure the right product is shipped.
  • A program manager is an uber-mutated combination of both that handles multiple interrelated projects like, say, an operating system.
  • Each new person on your team increases the cost of communication of ideas, making decisions, and detecting and fixing errors.
  • If you're a full-time engineering manager of growing team, but you're also serving as a project manager, then you're half-assing one of those jobs.
  • A good project manager will measure, control, and crush entropy. They own execution of the machine ensuring that everything gets done.
  • A project manager will ask upon arriving on the scene "What the fuck is going on?" and then create artifacts of insight.
  • What your team, and your culture, needs out of a project manager depends on the people, the team, the culture, the projects, and this moment in time.
  • Fire any project manager who goes crazy with power and becomes political, using information to control rather than illuminate.
  • The arrival of crap project managers is that you're punishing inefficiency with useless bureaucracy, which creates more inefficiency.

Part III: Versions of You

32. Bored People Quit

  • Boredom is not initially catastrophic. It shows up quietly and appears to pose no immediate threat, making it both easy to address and easy to ignore.
  • To detect boredom, look for any change in their daily routine, ask if your employee is bored, or they'll tell you and you listen.
  • Every second someone is bored, a second passes on an internal clock, and after some amount of time he or she gives up and quits.
  • For each person on your team you must be able to answer: Where are they going? And what are you currently doing to get them there?
  • If someone doesn't have a project that makes them light up, let them experiment. Your job isn't just building product, but building people.
  • Dole out shit work fairly. Be aware of who's doing it, communicate that you're aware, and tell them when they're going to be done.
  • Promising productive and creative time that is only taken away by urgent tasks only accelerates the boredom clock.
  • Remove daily distractions that pull people away from their work. These are more costly than they appear from the overhead of context switching.
  • As a manager, don't stop coding, otherwise you'll have a harder time talking to engineers because you'll forget how they think and how they become bored.