Created Friday 23 April 2021
- I've been using the HRF principle for some time now, and I've observed that H(happy) is evaluated based on my values - like liberty, ambition, curiosity, drive etc.
- Today was a very bad day, because I failed to uphold my values: I became sad and stressful about good things. The "values" are something that I've tested, learnt and tried to poke holes in, a lot. They seem to stand firm. I started worrying about what would happen if I let tradition, religion and other made-up stuff direct my life - it would be hell.
- So I've decided to acknowledge and state my values.
Definition: Values are parameters used to judge a situation and direct my action.
- Memory Aid: Think of them as a greedy params of the current situation(in life). Our experience will solely determine if they are indeed correct values.
- My values are defined/controlled by me alone.
- Values need to be established deliberately, and approved by me.
- Values are not set in stone: they are hypotheses and are empirical. Values must be stressed to fit in existing situations, at least. Values can be added/deleted/re-evaluated. Many of my previous values turned out to be a huge source of heartache.
- They need to be logically sound, plausible and should observably make life easier.
- Values are not sacred, and shouldn't be: that defeats the whole purpose of framing/evaluating them. They can be trusted, for now.
- Values are not something to flaunt/showoff: I do it for me and me alone.
- Values have to become second-nature to be useful, cause they are used all over the place. This is also why people don't change values - it is difficult to do so.
Note:
- Because values are explanations: stupid values can and do exist. They may even be celebrated. Examples - patriarchy, honor-crimes, homophobia, hatred for a people. Above all, we can be fooled.
- Values seem to vary for people: with people having conflicting opinions on a value even in the exact same environment, which is absurd. The only way to evaluate values is to test them - in history, locations, situations to extreme levels. This gives us a measure of confidence.
- Some values may be different depending on differences in people, this is OK. But it doesn't have to define you.
- Many of my values have been learnt in my education(not school), by people I find interesting and through my own discovery and struggles.
- They reflect my behavior, action and choices. So they define who I am, and what I do.
- They make me happy.
- The values are my definition of "success" and "meaning" in life.
- They are the closest thing I can find, to morality.
Good and values have certain characteristics Good values:
- Evidence-based(tested)
- Constructive - intent. Learning cybersecurity for harming others is bad, but for ensuring privacy and security is great.
- Controllable - things that we can control. Creativity, learning, industriousness and strong work ethic. Success will be the affect.
Bad values:
- Emotion-based
- Destructive - for the intent of harming yourself/others
- Uncontrollable - money, obscurity(fees for bad work). Tragedy will not only rob us of money, but of purpose as well. Uncontrollable values control us, rather than us being in charge.
A value is added:
- A lack of working procedure for a "class of situations" is encountered. e.g. Not having an opinion on dating, despite knowing how not having relationships make life difficult. This means I lack independent thought and courage to speak up.
- The importance of an already accepted value is proved/demonstrated reasonably. e.g. Thinking mathematically. This is reinforced when I learn that most of our understanding of the world is mathematical.
- In most cases, it is the result of backwards reasoning:
Note: values cannot be added if they conflict with existing ones, if this happens try to re-evaluate the dependencies using data(experience).
A value is removed if:
- It makes life demonstrably difficult. e.g. Trying to be likeable for people around you, even if you hate doing it.
- It is unreasonable, illogical or unscientific. e.g. Believing in fate, instead of just doing what you want.
In short, gather authentic data and reflect.
- Read books
- Watch movies, listen to songs
- Meet people, learn about other cultures/ideas
- Travel
Note: Make sure to filter information using *15. Perception Filter. *This is important, because there are sources that are deliberately false.
Idk, but this article seems to follow in the same spirit. https://markmanson.net/personal-values#do-what-you-value