/
h.xhtml
698 lines (698 loc) · 29.1 KB
/
h.xhtml
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200
201
202
203
204
205
206
207
208
209
210
211
212
213
214
215
216
217
218
219
220
221
222
223
224
225
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248
249
250
251
252
253
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
267
268
269
270
271
272
273
274
275
276
277
278
279
280
281
282
283
284
285
286
287
288
289
290
291
292
293
294
295
296
297
298
299
300
301
302
303
304
305
306
307
308
309
310
311
312
313
314
315
316
317
318
319
320
321
322
323
324
325
326
327
328
329
330
331
332
333
334
335
336
337
338
339
340
341
342
343
344
345
346
347
348
349
350
351
352
353
354
355
356
357
358
359
360
361
362
363
364
365
366
367
368
369
370
371
372
373
374
375
376
377
378
379
380
381
382
383
384
385
386
387
388
389
390
391
392
393
394
395
396
397
398
399
400
401
402
403
404
405
406
407
408
409
410
411
412
413
414
415
416
417
418
419
420
421
422
423
424
425
426
427
428
429
430
431
432
433
434
435
436
437
438
439
440
441
442
443
444
445
446
447
448
449
450
451
452
453
454
455
456
457
458
459
460
461
462
463
464
465
466
467
468
469
470
471
472
473
474
475
476
477
478
479
480
481
482
483
484
485
486
487
488
489
490
491
492
493
494
495
496
497
498
499
500
501
502
503
504
505
506
507
508
509
510
511
512
513
514
515
516
517
518
519
520
521
522
523
524
525
526
527
528
529
530
531
532
533
534
535
536
537
538
539
540
541
542
543
544
545
546
547
548
549
550
551
552
553
554
555
556
557
558
559
560
561
562
563
564
565
566
567
568
569
570
571
572
573
574
575
576
577
578
579
580
581
582
583
584
585
586
587
588
589
590
591
592
593
594
595
596
597
598
599
600
601
602
603
604
605
606
607
608
609
610
611
612
613
614
615
616
617
618
619
620
621
622
623
624
625
626
627
628
629
630
631
632
633
634
635
636
637
638
639
640
641
642
643
644
645
646
647
648
649
650
651
652
653
654
655
656
657
658
659
660
661
662
663
664
665
666
667
668
669
670
671
672
673
674
675
676
677
678
679
680
681
682
683
684
685
686
687
688
689
690
691
692
693
694
695
696
697
698
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xmlns:epub="http://www.idpf.org/2007/ops" epub:prefix="z3998: http://www.daisy.org/z3998/2012/vocab/structure/, se: https://standardebooks.org/vocab/1.0" xml:lang="en-US">
<head>
<title>H</title>
<link href="../css/core.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css"/>
<link href="../css/local.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css"/>
</head>
<body epub:type="bodymatter z3998:fiction">
<section id="h" epub:type="chapter">
<h2 epub:type="title">H</h2>
<dl>
<dt>
<dfn>Habeas Corpus</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A writ by which a man may be taken out of jail when confined for the wrong crime.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Habit</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A shackle for the free.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hades</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>The lower world; the residence of departed spirits; the place where the dead live.</p>
<p>Among the ancients the idea of Hades was not synonymous with our Hell, many of the most respectable men of antiquity residing there in a very comfortable kind of way. Indeed, the Elysian Fields themselves were a part of Hades, though they have since been removed to Paris. When the Jacobean version of the New Testament was in process of evolution the pious and learned men engaged in the work insisted by a majority vote on translating the Greek word “<i xml:lang="el">ᾍδης</i>” as “Hell”; but a conscientious minority member secretly possessed himself of the record and struck out the objectional word wherever he could find it. At the next meeting, the Bishop of Salisbury, looking over the work, suddenly sprang to his feet and said with considerable excitement: “Gentlemen, somebody has been razing ‘Hell’ here!” Years afterward the good prelate’s death was made sweet by the reflection that he had been the means (under Providence) of making an important, serviceable and immortal addition to the phraseology of the English tongue.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hag</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>An elderly lady whom you do not happen to like; sometimes called, also, a hen, or cat. Old witches, sorceresses, <abbr>etc.</abbr>, were called hags from the belief that their heads were surrounded by a kind of baleful lumination or nimbus—hag being the popular name of that peculiar electrical light sometimes observed in the hair. At one time hag was not a word of reproach: Drayton speaks of a “beautiful hag, all smiles,” much as Shakespeare said, “sweet wench.” It would not now be proper to call your sweetheart a hag—that compliment is reserved for the use of her grandchildren.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Half</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>One of two equal parts into which a thing may be divided, or considered as divided. In the fourteenth century a heated discussion arose among theologists and philosophers as to whether Omniscience could part an object into three halves; and the pious Father Aldrovinus publicly prayed in the cathedral at Rouen that God would demonstrate the affirmative of the proposition in some signal and unmistakable way, and particularly (if it should please Him) upon the body of that hardy blasphemer, Manutius Procinus, who maintained the negative. Procinus, however, was spared to die of the bite of a viper.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Halo</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>Properly, a luminous ring encircling an astronomical body, but not infrequently confounded with “aureola,” or “nimbus,” a somewhat similar phenomenon worn as a headdress by divinities and saints. The halo is a purely optical illusion, produced by moisture in the air, in the manner of a rainbow; but the aureola is conferred as a sign of superior sanctity, in the same way as a bishop’s mitre, or the Pope’s tiara. In the painting of the Nativity, by Szedgkin, a pious artist of Pest, not only do the Virgin and the Child wear the nimbus, but an ass nibbling hay from the sacred manger is similarly decorated and, to his lasting honor be it said, appears to bear his unaccustomed dignity with a truly saintly grace.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hand</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody’s pocket.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Handkerchief</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A small square of silk or linen, used in various ignoble offices about the face and especially serviceable at funerals to conceal the lack of tears. The handkerchief is of recent invention; our ancestors knew nothing of it and entrusted its duties to the sleeve. Shakespeare’s introducing it into the play of “Othello” is an anachronism: Desdemona dried her nose with her skirt, as <abbr>Dr.</abbr> Mary Walker and other reformers have done with their coattails in our own day—an evidence that revolutions sometimes go backward.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hangman</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>An officer of the law charged with duties of the highest dignity and utmost gravity, and held in hereditary disesteem by a populace having a criminal ancestry. In some of the American States his functions are now performed by an electrician, as in New Jersey, where executions by electricity have recently been ordered—the first instance known to this lexicographer of anybody questioning the expediency of hanging Jerseymen.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Happiness</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Harangue</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A speech by an opponent, who is known as an harangue-outang.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Harbor</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A place where ships taking shelter from storms are exposed to the fury of the customs.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Harmonists</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A sect of Protestants, now extinct, who came from Europe in the beginning of the last century and were distinguished for the bitterness of their internal controversies and dissensions.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="unknown">
<dfn>Hash</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>There is no definition for this word—nobody knows what hash is.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hatchet</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A young axe, known among Indians as a Thomashawk.</p>
<blockquote epub:type="z3998:poem">
<p>
<span>“O bury the hatchet, irascible Red,</span>
<br/>
<span>For peace is a blessing,” the White Man said.</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">The Savage concurred, and that weapon interred,</span>
<br/>
<span>With imposing rites, in the White Man’s head.</span>
</p>
<cite>—John Lukkus</cite>
</blockquote>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hatred</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another’s superiority.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Head-Money</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A capitation tax, or poll-tax.</p>
<blockquote epub:type="z3998:poem">
<p>
<span>In ancient times there lived a king</span>
<br/>
<span>Whose tax-collectors could not wring</span>
<br/>
<span>From all his subjects gold enough</span>
<br/>
<span>To make the royal way less rough.</span>
<br/>
<span>For pleasure’s highway, like the dames</span>
<br/>
<span>Whose premises adjoin it, claims</span>
<br/>
<span>Perpetual repairing. So</span>
<br/>
<span>The tax-collectors in a row</span>
<br/>
<span>Appeared before the throne to pray</span>
<br/>
<span>Their master to devise some way</span>
<br/>
<span>To swell the revenue. “So great,”</span>
<br/>
<span>Said they, “are the demands of state</span>
<br/>
<span>A tithe of all that we collect</span>
<br/>
<span>Will scarcely meet them. Pray reflect:</span>
<br/>
<span>How, if one-tenth we must resign,</span>
<br/>
<span>Can we exist on t’other nine?”</span>
<br/>
<span>The monarch asked them in reply:</span>
<br/>
<span>“Has it occurred to you to try</span>
<br/>
<span>The advantage of economy?”</span>
<br/>
<span>“It has,” the spokesman said: “we sold</span>
<br/>
<span>All of our gay garrotes of gold;</span>
<br/>
<span>With plated-ware we now compress</span>
<br/>
<span>The necks of those whom we assess.</span>
<br/>
<span>Plain iron forceps we employ</span>
<br/>
<span>To mitigate the miser’s joy</span>
<br/>
<span>Who hoards, with greed that never tires,</span>
<br/>
<span>That which your Majesty requires.”</span>
<br/>
<span>Deep lines of thought were seen to plow</span>
<br/>
<span>Their way across the royal brow.</span>
<br/>
<span>“Your state is desperate, no question;</span>
<br/>
<span>Pray favor me with a suggestion.”</span>
<br/>
<span>“O King of Men,” the spokesman said,</span>
<br/>
<span>“If you’ll impose upon each head</span>
<br/>
<span>A tax, the augmented revenue</span>
<br/>
<span>We’ll cheerfully divide with you.”</span>
<br/>
<span>As flashes of the sun illume</span>
<br/>
<span>The parted storm-cloud’s sullen gloom,</span>
<br/>
<span>The king smiled grimly. “I decree</span>
<br/>
<span>That it be so—and, not to be</span>
<br/>
<span>In generosity outdone,</span>
<br/>
<span>Declare you, each and every one,</span>
<br/>
<span>Exempted from the operation</span>
<br/>
<span>Of this new law of capitation.</span>
<br/>
<span>But lest the people censure me</span>
<br/>
<span>Because they’re bound and you are free,</span>
<br/>
<span>’Twere well some clever scheme were laid</span>
<br/>
<span>By you this poll-tax to evade.</span>
<br/>
<span>I’ll leave you now while you confer</span>
<br/>
<span>With my most trusted minister.”</span>
<br/>
<span>The monarch from the throne-room walked</span>
<br/>
<span>And straightway in among them stalked</span>
<br/>
<span>A silent man, with brow concealed,</span>
<br/>
<span>Bare-armed—his gleaming axe revealed!</span>
</p>
<cite>—<abbr epub:type="z3998:given-name">G. J.</abbr></cite>
</blockquote>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hearse</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>Death’s baby-carriage.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Heart</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>An automatic, muscular blood-pump. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments—a very pretty fancy which, however, is nothing but a survival of a once universal belief. It is now known that the sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid. The exact process by which a beefsteak becomes a feeling—tender or not, according to the age of the animal from which it was cut; the successive stages of elaboration through which a caviar sandwich is transmuted to a quaint fancy and reappears as a pungent epigram; the marvelous functional methods of converting a hard-boiled egg into religious contrition, or a cream-puff into a sigh of sensibility—these things have been patiently ascertained by <abbr epub:type="z3998:given-name">M.</abbr> Pasteur, and by him expounded with convincing lucidity. (See, also, my monograph, <i epub:type="se:name.publication.book">The Essential Identity of the Spiritual Affections and Certain Intestinal Gases Freed in Digestion</i>—4to, 687 pp.) In a scientific work entitled, I believe, <i xml:lang="la">Delectatio Demonorum</i> (John Camden Hotton, London, 1873) this view of the sentiments receives a striking illustration; and for further light consult Professor Dam’s famous treatise on “Love as a Product of Alimentary Maceration.”</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Heat</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<blockquote epub:type="z3998:poem">
<p>
<span>Heat, says Professor Tyndall, is a mode</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">Of motion, but I know now how he’s proving</span>
<br/>
<span>His point; but this I know—hot words bestowed</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">With skill will set the human fist a-moving,</span>
<br/>
<span>And where it stops the stars burn free and wild.</span>
<br/>
<span><i xml:lang="la">Crede expertum</i>—I have seen them, child.</span>
</p>
<cite>—Gorton Swope</cite>
</blockquote>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Heathen</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel. According to Professor Howison, of the California State University, Hebrews are heathens.</p>
<blockquote epub:type="z3998:poem">
<p>
<span>“The Hebrews are heathens!” says Howison. He’s</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">A Christian philosopher. I’m</span>
<br/>
<span>A scurril agnostical chap, if you please,</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">Addicted too much to the crime</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">Of religious discussion in rhyme.</span>
</p>
<p>
<span>Though Hebrew and Howison cannot agree</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">On a <i xml:lang="la">modus vivendi</i>—not they!—</span>
<br/>
<span>Yet Heaven has had the designing of me,</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">And I haven’t been reared in a way</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">To joy in the thick of the fray.</span>
</p>
<p>
<span>For this of my creed is the soul and the gist,</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">And the truth of it I aver:</span>
<br/>
<span>Who differs from me in his faith is an ’ist,</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">And ’ite, an ’ic, or an ’er—</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">And I’m down upon him or her!</span>
</p>
<p>
<span>Let Howison urge with perfunctory chin</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">Toleration—that’s all very well,</span>
<br/>
<span>But a roast is “nuts” to his nostril thin,</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">And he’s running—I know by the smell—</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">A secret and personal Hell!</span>
</p>
<cite>—Bissell Gip</cite>
</blockquote>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Heaven</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound your own.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hebrew</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A male Jew, as distinguished from the Shebrew, an altogether superior creation.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Helpmate</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A wife, or bitter half.</p>
<blockquote epub:type="z3998:poem">
<p>
<span>“Now, why is yer wife called a helpmate, Pat?”</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">Says the priest. “Since the time o’ yer wooin’</span>
<br/>
<span>She’s niver assisted in what ye were at—</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">For it’s naught ye are ever doin’.”</span>
</p>
<p>
<span>“That’s true of yer Riverence,” Patrick replies,</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">And no sign of contrition evices;</span>
<br/>
<span>“But, bedad, it’s a fact which the word implies,</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">For she helps to mate the expinses!”</span>
</p>
<cite>—Marley Wottel</cite>
</blockquote>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hemp</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A plant from whose fibrous bark is made an article of neckwear which is frequently put on after public speaking in the open air and prevents the wearer from taking cold.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hermit</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="pronoun">
<dfn>Hers</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>His.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="verb-intransitive">
<dfn>Hibernate</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>To pass the winter season in domestic seclusion. There have been many singular popular notions about the hibernation of various animals. Many believe that the bear hibernates during the whole winter and subsists by mechanically sucking its paws. It is admitted that it comes out of its retirement in the spring so lean that it had to try twice before it can cast a shadow. Three or four centuries ago, in England, no fact was better attested than that swallows passed the winter months in the mud at the bottom of their brooks, clinging together in globular masses. They have apparently been compelled to give up the custom on account of the foulness of the brooks. Sotus Escobius discovered in Central Asia a whole nation of people who hibernate. By some investigators, the fasting of Lent is supposed to have been originally a modified form of hibernation, to which the Church gave a religious significance; but this view was strenuously opposed by that eminent authority, Bishop Kip, who did not wish any honors denied to the memory of the Founder of his family.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hippogriff</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Historian</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A broad-gauge gossip.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>History</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.</p>
<blockquote epub:type="z3998:poem">
<p>
<span>Of Roman history, great Niebuhr’s shown</span>
<br/>
<span>’Tis nine-tenths lying. Faith, I wish ’twere known,</span>
<br/>
<span>Ere we accept great Niebuhr as a guide,</span>
<br/>
<span>Wherein he blundered and how much he lied.</span>
</p>
<cite>—Salder Bupp</cite>
</blockquote>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hog</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A bird remarkable for the catholicity of its appetite and serving to illustrate that of ours. Among the Muslims and Jews, the hog is not in favor as an article of diet, but is respected for the delicacy of its habits, the beauty of its plumage and the melody of its voice. It is chiefly as a songster that the fowl is esteemed; the cage of him in full chorus has been known to draw tears from two persons at once. The scientific name of this dickybird is <i epub:type="z3998:taxonomy">Porcus Rockefelleri</i>. <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Rockefeller did not discover the hog, but it is considered his by right of resemblance.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Homeopathist</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>The humorist of the medical profession.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Homeopathy</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Homicide</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>The slaying of one human being by another. There are four kinds of homocide: felonious, excusable, justifiable and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he fell by one kind or another—the classification is for advantage of the lawyers.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Homiletics</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation.</p>
<blockquote epub:type="z3998:poem">
<p>
<span>So skilled the parson was in homiletics</span>
<br/>
<span>That all his normal purges and emetics</span>
<br/>
<span>To medicine the spirit were compounded</span>
<br/>
<span>With a most just discrimination founded</span>
<br/>
<span>Upon a rigorous examination</span>
<br/>
<span>Of tongue and pulse and heart and respiration.</span>
<br/>
<span>Then, having diagnosed each one’s condition,</span>
<br/>
<span>His scriptural specifics this physician</span>
<br/>
<span>Administered—his pills so efficacious</span>
<br/>
<span>And pukes of disposition so vivacious</span>
<br/>
<span>That souls afflicted with ten kinds of Adam</span>
<br/>
<span>Were convalescent ere they knew they had ’em.</span>
<br/>
<span>But Slander’s tongue—itself all coated—uttered</span>
<br/>
<span>Her bilious mind and scandalously muttered</span>
<br/>
<span>That in the case of patients having money</span>
<br/>
<span>The pills were sugar and the pukes were honey.</span>
</p>
<cite>—Biography of Bishop Potter</cite>
</blockquote>
</dd>
<dt class="adjective">
<dfn>Honorable</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>Afflicted with an impediment in one’s reach. In legislative bodies it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, “the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.”</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hope</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>Desire and expectation rolled into one.</p>
<blockquote epub:type="z3998:poem">
<p>
<span>Delicious Hope! when naught to man is left—</span>
<br/>
<span>Of fortune destitute, of friends bereft;</span>
<br/>
<span>When even his dog deserts him, and his goat</span>
<br/>
<span>With tranquil disaffection chews his coat</span>
<br/>
<span>While yet it hangs upon his back; then thou,</span>
<br/>
<span>The star far-flaming on thine angel brow,</span>
<br/>
<span>Descendest, radiant, from the skies to hint</span>
<br/>
<span>The promise of a clerkship in the Mint.</span>
</p>
<cite>—Fogarty Weffing</cite>
</blockquote>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hospitality</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hostility</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A peculiarly sharp and specially applied sense of the earth’s overpopulation. Hostility is classified as active and passive; as (respectively) the feeling of a woman for her female friends, and that which she entertains for all the rest of her sex.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Houri</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A comely female inhabiting the Muslim Paradise to make things cheery for the good Muslim, whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul. By that good lady the Houris are said to be held in deficient esteem.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>House</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus and microbe.</p>
<dl>
<dt>
<dfn>House of Correction</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A place of reward for political and personal service, and for the detention of offenders and appropriations.</p>
</dd>
<dt>
<dfn>House of God</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A building with a steeple and a mortgage on it.</p>
</dd>
<dt>
<dfn>House-dog</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A pestilent beast kept on domestic premises to insult persons passing by and appal the hardy visitor.</p>
</dd>
<dt>
<dfn>Housemaid</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A youngerly person of the opposing sex employed to be variously disagreeable and ingeniously unclean in the station in which it has pleased God to place her.</p>
</dd>
</dl>
</dd>
<dt class="adjective">
<dfn>Houseless</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>Having paid all taxes on household goods.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hovel</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>The fruit of a flower called the Palace.</p>
<blockquote epub:type="z3998:poem">
<p>
<span class="i1">Twaddle had a hovel,</span>
<br/>
<span class="i2">Twiddle had a palace;</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">Twaddle said: “I’ll grovel</span>
<br/>
<span class="i2">Or he’ll think I bear him malice”—</span>
<br/>
<span>A sentiment as novel</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">As a castor on a chalice.</span>
</p>
<p>
<span class="i1">Down upon the middle</span>
<br/>
<span class="i2">Of his legs fell Twaddle</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">And astonished <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Twiddle,</span>
<br/>
<span class="i2">Who began to lift his noddle,</span>
<br/>
<span class="i1">Feed upon the fiddle—</span>
<br/>
<span class="i2">Faddle flummery, unswaddle</span>
<br/>
<span>A newborn self-sufficiency and think himself a model.</span>
</p>
<cite>—<abbr epub:type="z3998:given-name">G. J.</abbr></cite>
</blockquote>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Humanity</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>The human race, collectively, exclusive of the anthropoid poets.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Humorist</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh’s heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.</p>
<blockquote epub:type="z3998:poem">
<p>
<span>Lo! the poor humorist, whose tortured mind</span>
<br/>
<span>Sees jokes in crowds, though still to gloom inclined—</span>
<br/>
<span>Whose simple appetite, untaught to stray,</span>
<br/>
<span>His brains, renewed by night, consumes by day.</span>
<br/>
<span>He thinks, admitted to an equal sty,</span>
<br/>
<span>A graceful hog would bear his company.</span>
</p>
<cite>—Alexander Poke</cite>
</blockquote>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hurricane</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>An atmospheric demonstration once very common but now generally abandoned for the tornado and cyclone. The hurricane is still in popular use in the West Indies and is preferred by certain old-fashioned sea-captains. It is also used in the construction of the upper decks of steamboats, but generally speaking, the hurricane’s usefulness has outlasted it.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hurry</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>The dispatch of bunglers.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun" id="husband">
<dfn>Husband</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hybrid</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A pooled issue.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hydra</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hyena</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that.</p>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hypochondriasis</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>Depression of one’s own spirits.</p>
<blockquote epub:type="z3998:poem">
<p>
<span>Some heaps of trash upon a vacant lot</span>
<br/>
<span>Where long the village rubbish had been shot</span>
<br/>
<span>Displayed a sign among the stuff and stumps—</span>
<br/>
<span>“Hypochondriasis.” It meant The Dumps.</span>
</p>
<cite>—Bogul <abbr epub:type="z3998:given-name">S.</abbr> Purvy</cite>
</blockquote>
</dd>
<dt class="noun">
<dfn>Hypocrite</dfn>
</dt>
<dd>
<p>One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.</p>
</dd>
</dl>
</section>
</body>
</html>