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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xmlns:epub="http://www.idpf.org/2007/ops" epub:prefix="z3998: http://www.daisy.org/z3998/2012/vocab/structure/, se: https://standardebooks.org/vocab/1.0" xml:lang="en-GB">
<head>
<title>Act 1</title>
<link href="../css/core.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css"/>
<link href="../css/local.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css"/>
</head>
<body epub:type="bodymatter z3998:fiction z3998:drama">
<section id="act-1" epub:type="chapter z3998:scene">
<h2 epub:type="title">Act <span epub:type="z3998:roman">I</span></h2>
<p><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey Tanqueray</b>’s Chambers in the Albany—a richly and tastefully decorated room, elegantly and luxuriously furnished: on the right a large pair of doors opening into another room, on the left at the further end of the room a small door leading to a bedchamber. A circular table is laid for a dinner for four persons which has now reached the stage of dessert and coffee. Everything in the apartment suggests wealth and refinement. The fire is burning brightly.</p>
<table>
<tbody>
<tr>
<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey Tanqueray</b>, <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b>, and <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</b> are seated at the dinner-table. <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</b> is forty-two, handsome, winning in manner, his speech and bearing retaining some of the qualities of young-manhood. <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b> is about forty-seven, genial and portly. <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</b> is a year or two <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b>’s senior; soft-speaking and precise—in appearance a type of the prosperous town physician. <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Morse</b>, <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</b>’s servant, places a little cabinet of cigars and the spirit-lamp on the table beside <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</b>, and goes out.</i>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Aubrey, it is a pleasant yet dreadful fact to contemplate, but it’s nearly fifteen years since I first dined with you. You lodged in Piccadilly in those days, over a hat-shop. Jayne, I met you at that dinner, and Cayley Drummle.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Yes, yes. What a pity it is that Cayley isn’t here tonight.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Confound the old gossip! His empty chair has been staring us in the face all through dinner. I ought to have told Morse to take it away.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Odd, his sending no excuse.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>I’ll walk round to his lodgings later on and ask after him.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>I’ll go with you.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>So will I.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Opening the cigar-cabinet.</i> Doctor, it’s useless to tempt you, I know. Frank—<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b> and <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</b> smoke.</i> I particularly wished Cayley Drummle to be one of us tonight. You two fellows and Cayley are my closest, my best friends—</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>My dear Aubrey!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>I rejoice to hear you say so.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>And I wanted to see the three of you round this table. You can’t guess the reason.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>You desired to give us a most excellent dinner.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Obviously.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Hesitatingly.</i> Well—I—<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">glancing at the clock</i>—Cayley won’t turn up now.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>H’m, hardly.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Then you two shall hear it. Doctor, Frank, this is the last time we are to meet in these rooms.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>The last time?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>You’re going to leave the Albany?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Yes. You’ve heard me speak of a house I built in the country years ago, haven’t you?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>In Surrey.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Well, when my wife died I cleared out of that house and let it. I think of trying the place again.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>But you’ll go raving mad if ever you find yourself down there alone.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Ah, but I shan’t be alone, and that’s what I wanted to tell you. I’m going to be married.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Going to be married?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Married?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Yes—tomorrow.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Tomorrow?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>You take my breath away! My dear fellow, I—I—of course, I congratulate you.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>And—and so do I—heartily.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Thanks—thanks.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">There is a moment or two of embarrassment.</i>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Er—ah—this is an excellent cigar.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Ah—um—your coffee is remarkable.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Look here; I daresay you two old friends think this treatment very strange, very unkind. So I want you to understand me. You know a marriage often cools friendships. What’s the usual course of things? A man’s engagement is given out, he is congratulated, complimented upon his choice; the church is filled with troops of friends, and he goes away happily to a chorus of good wishes. He comes back, sets up house in town or country, and thinks to resume the old associations, the old companionships. My dear Frank, my dear good doctor, it’s very seldom that it can be done. Generally, a worm has begun to eat its way into those hearty, unreserved, prenuptial friendships; a damnable constraint sets in and acts like a wasting disease; and so, believe me, in nine cases out of ten a man’s marriage severs for him more close ties than it forms.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Well, my dear Aubrey, I earnestly hope—</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>I know what you’re going to say, Frank. I hope so, too. In the meantime let’s face dangers. I’ve reminded you of the <em>usual</em> course of things, but my marriage isn’t even the conventional sort of marriage likely to satisfy society. Now, Cayley’s a bachelor, but you two men have wives. By-the-bye, my love to <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Misquith and to <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Jayne when you get home—don’t forget that. Well, your wives may not—like—the lady I’m going to marry.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Aubrey, forgive me for suggesting that the lady you are going to marry may not like our wives—mine at least; I beg your pardon, Frank.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Quite so; then I must go the way my wife goes.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Come, come, pray don’t let us anticipate that either side will be called upon to make such a sacrifice.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Yes, yes, let us anticipate it. And let us make up our minds to have no slow bleeding-to-death of our friendship. We’ll end a pleasant chapter here tonight, and after tonight start afresh. When my wife and I settle down at Willowmere it’s possible that we shall all come together. But if this isn’t to be, for Heaven’s sake let us recognise that it is simply because it can’t be, and not wear hypocritical faces and suffer and be wretched. Doctor, Frank—<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Holding out his hands, one to <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b>, the other to <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</b></i>—good luck to all of us!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>But—but—do I understand we are to ask nothing? Not even the lady’s name, Aubrey?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>The lady, my dear Frank, belongs to the next chapter, and in that her name is <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Aubrey Tanqueray.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Raising his coffee cup.</i> Then, in an old-fashioned way, I propose a toast. Aubrey, Frank, I give you “The Next Chapter!”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">They drink the toast, saying, “The Next Chapter!”</i>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Doctor, find a comfortable chair; Frank, you too. As we’re going to turn out by-and-by, let me scribble a couple of notes now while I think of them.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b><br/>
and <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</b></td>
<td>Certainly—yes, yes.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>It might slip my memory when I get back.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</b> sits at a writing-table at the other end of the room, and writes.</i>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">To <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b>, in a whisper.</i> Frank—<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b> quietly leaves his chair and sits nearer to <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</b>.</i> What is all this? Simply a morbid crank of Aubrey’s with regard to ante-nuptial acquaintances?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>H’m! Did you notice <em>one</em> expression he used?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Let me think—</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>“My marriage is not even the conventional sort of marriage likely to satisfy society.”</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Bless me, yes! What does that suggest?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>That he has a particular rather than a general reason for anticipating estrangement from his friends, I’m afraid.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>A horrible <i xml:lang="fr">mésalliance</i>! A dairymaid who has given him a glass of milk during a day’s hunting, or a little anæmic shopgirl! Frank, I’m utterly wretched!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>My dear Jayne, speaking in absolute confidence, I have never been more profoundly depressed in my life.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Morse</b> enters.</i>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Morse</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Announcing.</i> <abbr>Mr.</abbr> Drummle.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Cayley Drummle</b> enters briskly. He is a neat little man of about five-and-forty, in manner bright, airy, debonair, but with an undercurrent of seriousness.</i>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Morse</b> retires.</i>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>I’m in disgrace; nobody realises that more thoroughly than I do. Where’s my host?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Who has risen.</i> Cayley.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Shaking hands with him.</i> Don’t speak to me till I have tendered my explanation. A harsh word from anybody would unman me.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b> and <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</b> shake hands with <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</b>.</i>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Have you dined?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>No—unless you call a bit of fish, a cutlet, and a pancake dining.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Cayley, this is disgraceful.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Fish, a cutlet, and a pancake will require a great deal of explanation.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Especially the pancake. My dear friend, your case looks miserably weak.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Hear me! hear me!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Now then!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Come!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Well!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>It so happens that tonight I was exceptionally early in dressing for dinner.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>For which dinner—the fish and cutlet?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>For <em>this</em> dinner, of course—really, Frank! At a quarter to eight, in fact, I found myself trimming my nails, with ten minutes to spare. Just then enter my man with a note—would I hasten, as fast as cab could carry me, to old Lady Orreyed in Bruton Street?—“sad trouble.” Now, recollect, please, I had ten minutes on my hands, old Lady Orreyed was a very dear friend of my mother’s, and was in some distress.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Cayley, come to the fish and cutlet?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b> and <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</b></td>
<td>Yes, yes, and the pancake!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Upon my word! Well, the scene in Bruton Street beggars description; the women servants looked scared, the men drunk; and there was poor old Lady Orreyed on the floor of her boudoir like Queen Bess among her pillows.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>What’s the matter?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">To everybody.</i> You know George Orreyed?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Yes.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>I’ve met him.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Well, he’s a thing of the past.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Not dead!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Certainly, in the worst sense. He’s married Mabel Hervey.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>What!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>It’s true—this morning. The poor mother showed me his letter—a dozen curt words, and some of those ill-spelt.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Walking up to the fireplace.</i> I’m very sorry.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Pardon my ignorance—who <em>was</em> Mabel Hervey?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>You don’t—? Oh, of course not. Miss Hervey—Lady Orreyed, as she now is—was a lady who would have been, perhaps has been, described in the reports of the Police or the Divorce Court as an actress. Had she belonged to a lower stratum of our advanced civilisation she would, in the event of judicial inquiry, have defined her calling with equal justification as that of a dressmaker. To do her justice, she is a type of a class which is immortal. Physically, by the strange caprice of creation, curiously beautiful; mentally, she lacks even the strength of deliberate viciousness. Paint her portrait, it would symbolise a creature perfectly patrician; lance a vein of her superbly-modelled arm, you would get the poorest <i xml:lang="fr">vin ordinaire</i>! Her affections, emotions, impulses, her very existence—a burlesque! Flaxen, five-and-twenty, and feebly frolicsome; anybody’s, in less gentle society I should say everybody’s, property! That, doctor, was Miss Hervey who is the new Lady Orreyed. Dost thou like the picture?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Very good, Cayley! Bravo!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Laying his hand on <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</b>’s shoulder.</i> You’d scarcely believe it, Jayne, but none of us really know anything about this lady, our gay young friend here, I suspect, least of all.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Aubrey, I applaud your chivalry.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>And perhaps you’ll let me finish a couple of letters which Frank and Jayne have given me leave to write. <i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Returning to the writing-table.</i> Ring for what you want, like a good fellow!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</b> resumes his writing.</i>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">To <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</b>.</i> Still, the fish and cutlet remain unexplained.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Oh, the poor old woman was so weak that I insisted upon her taking some food, and felt there was nothing for it but to sit down opposite her. The fool! the blackguard!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Poor Orreyed! Well, he’s gone under for a time.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>For a time! My dear Frank, I tell you he has absolutely ceased to be. <i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</b>, who has been writing busily, turns his head towards the speakers and listens. His lips are set, and there is a frown upon his face.</i> For all practical purposes you may regard him as the late George Orreyed. Tomorrow the very characteristics of his speech, as we remember them, will have become obsolete.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>But surely, in the course of years, he and his wife will outlive—</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>No, no, doctor, don’t try to upset one of my settled beliefs. You may dive into many waters, but there is <em>one</em> social Dead Sea—!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Perhaps you’re right.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Right! Good God! I wish you could prove me otherwise! Why, for years I’ve been sitting, and watching and waiting.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>You’re in form tonight, Cayley. May we ask where you’ve been in the habit of squandering your useful leisure?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Where? On the shore of that same sea.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>And, pray, what have you been waiting for?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>For some of my best friends <em>to come up</em>. <i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</b> utters a half-stifled exclamation of impatience; then he hurriedly gathers up his papers from the writing-table. The three men turn to him.</i> Eh?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Oh, I—I’ll finish my letters in the other room if you’ll excuse me for five minutes. Tell Cayley the news.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">He goes out.</i>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Hurrying to the door.</i> My dear fellow, my jabbering has disturbed you! I’ll never talk again as long as I live!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Close the door, Cayley.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</b> shuts the door.</i>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Cayley—</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Advancing to the dinner table.</i> A smoke, a smoke, or I perish!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Selects a cigar from the little cabinet.</i>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Cayley, marriages are in the air.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Are they? Discover the bacillus, doctor, and destroy it.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>I mean, among our friends.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Oh, Nugent Warrinder’s engagement to Lady Alice Tring. I’ve heard of that. They’re not to be married till the spring.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Another marriage that concerns us a little takes place tomorrow.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Whose marriage?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Aubrey’s.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Aub—! <i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Looking towards <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b>.</i> Is it a joke?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>No.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Looking from <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b> to <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</b>.</i> To whom?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>He doesn’t tell us.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>We three were asked here tonight to receive the announcement. Aubrey has some theory that marriage is likely to alienate a man from his friends, and it seems to me he has taken the precaution to wish us goodbye.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>No, no.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Practically, surely.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Thoughtfully.</i> Marriage in general, does he mean, or this marriage?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>That’s the point. Frank says—</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>No, no, no; I feared it suggested—</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Well, well. <i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">To <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</b>.</i> What do you think of it?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">After a slight pause.</i> Is there a light there? <i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Lighting his cigar.</i> He—wraps the lady—in mystery—you say?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Most modestly.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Aubrey’s—not—a very—young man.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Forty-three.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Ah! <i xml:lang="fr">L’age critique!</i></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>A dangerous age—yes, yes.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>When you two fellows go home, do you mind leaving me behind here?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Not at all.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>By all means.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>All right. <i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Anxiously.</i> Deuce take it, the man’s second marriage mustn’t be another mistake!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">With his head bent he walks up to the fireplace.</i>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>You knew him in his short married life, Cayley. Terribly unsatisfactory, wasn’t it?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Well—<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Looking at the door.</i> I quite closed that door?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Yes.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Settles himself on the sofa; <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</b> is seated in an armchair.</i>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Smoking, with his back to the fire.</i> He married a Miss Herriott; that was in the year eighteen—confound dates—twenty years ago. She was a lovely creature—by Jove, she was; by religion a Roman Catholic. She was one of your cold sort, you know—all marble arms and black velvet. I remember her with painful distinctness as the only woman who ever made me nervous.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Ha, ha!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>He loved her—to distraction, as they say. Jupiter, how fervently that poor devil courted her! But I don’t believe she allowed him even to squeeze her fingers. She <em>was</em> an iceberg! As for kissing, the mere contact would have given him chapped lips. However, he married her and took her away, the latter greatly to my relief.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Abroad, you mean?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Eh? Yes. I imagine he gratified her by renting a villa in Lapland, but I don’t know. After a while they returned, and then I saw how woefully Aubrey had miscalculated results.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Miscalculated—?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>He had reckoned, poor wretch, that in the early days of marriage she would thaw. But she didn’t. I used to picture him closing his doors and making up the fire in the hope of seeing her features relax. Bless her, the thaw never set in! I believe she kept a thermometer in her stays and always registered ten degrees below zero. However, in time a child came—a daughter.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Didn’t that—?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Not a bit of it; it made matters worse. Frightened at her failure to stir up in him some sympathetic religious belief, she determined upon strong measures with regard to the child. He opposed her for a miserable year or so, but she wore him down, and the insensible little brat was placed in a convent, first in France, then in Ireland. Not long afterwards the mother died, strangely enough, of fever, the only warmth, I believe, that ever came to that woman’s body.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Don’t, Cayley!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>The child is living, we know.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Yes, if you choose to call it living. Miss Tanqueray—a young woman of nineteen now—is in the Loretto convent at Armagh. She professes to have found her true vocation in a religious life, and within a month or two will take final vows.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>He ought to have removed his daughter from the convent when the mother died.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Yes, yes, but absolutely at the end there was reconciliation between husband and wife, and she won his promise that the child should complete her conventual education. He reaped his reward. When he attempted to gain his girl’s confidence and affection he was too late; he found he was dealing with the spirit of the mother. You remember his visit to Ireland last month?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Yes.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>That was to wish his girl goodbye.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Poor fellow?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>He sent for me when he came back. I think he must have had a lingering hope that the girl would relent—would come to life, as it were—at the last moment, for, for an hour or so, in this room, he was terribly shaken. I’m sure he’d clung to that hope from the persistent way in which he kept breaking off in his talk to repeat one dismal word, as if he couldn’t realise his position without dinning this damned word into his head.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>What word was that?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Alone—alone.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</b> enters.</i>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>A thousand apologies!</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Gaily.</i> We are talking about you, my dear Aubrey.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">During the telling of the story, <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b> has risen and gone to the fire, and <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</b> has thrown himself full-length on the sofa. <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</b> now joins <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b> and <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</b>.</i>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Well, Cayley, are you surprised?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Surp—! I haven’t been surprised for twenty years.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>And you’re not angry with me?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Angry! <i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Rising.</i> Because you considerately withhold the name of a lady with whom it is now the object of my life to become acquainted? My dear fellow, you pique my curiosity, you give zest to my existence! And as for a wedding, who on earth wants to attend that familiar and probably draughty function? Ugh! My cigar’s out.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Let’s talk about something else.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Looking at his watch.</i> Not tonight, Aubrey.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>My dear Frank!</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>I go up to Scotland tomorrow, and there are some little matters—</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>I am off too.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>No, no.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>I must: I have to give a look to a case in Clifford Street on my way home.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Going to the door.</i> Well! <i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b> and <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</b> exchange looks with <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</b>. Opening the door and calling.</i> Morse, hats and coats! I shall write to you all next week from Genoa or Florence. Now, doctor, Frank, remember, my love to <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Misquith and to <abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Jayne!</td>
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<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Morse</b> enters with hats and coats.</i>
</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b> and <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</b></td>
<td>Yes, yes—yes, yes.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>And your young people!</td>
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<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">As <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b> and <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</b> put on their coats there is the clatter of careless talk.</i>
</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>Cayley, I meet you at dinner on Sunday.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>At the Stratfields’. That’s very pleasant.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Putting on his coat with <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</b>’s aid.</i> Ah-h!</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>What’s wrong?</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>A twinge. Why didn’t I go to Aix in August?</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Shaking hands with <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</b>.</i> Good night, Cayley.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Good night, my dear doctor!</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Shaking hands with <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</b>.</i> Cayley, are you in town for long?</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Dear friend, I’m nowhere for long. Good night.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>Good night.</td>
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<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</b>, <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</b>, and <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</b> go out, followed by <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Morse</b>; the hum of talk is continued outside.</i>
</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>A cigar, Frank?</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>No, thank you.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Going to walk, doctor?</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Jayne</td>
<td>If Frank will.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Misquith</td>
<td>By all means.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>It’s a cold night.</td>
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<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">The door is closed. <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</b> remains standing with his coat on his arm and his hat in his hand.</i>
</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">To himself, thoughtfully.</i> Now then! What the devil—!</td>
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<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</b> returns.</i>
</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Eyeing <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</b> a little awkwardly.</i> Well, Cayley?</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Well, Aubrey?</td>
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<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</b> walks up to the fire and stands looking into it.</i>
</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>You’re not going, old chap?</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Sitting.</i> No.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">After a slight pause, with a forced laugh.</i> Hah! Cayley, I never thought I should feel—shy—with you.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Why do you?</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Never mind.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Now, I can quite understand a man wishing to be married in the dark, as it were.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>You can?</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>In your place I should very likely adopt the same course.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>You think so?</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>And if I intended marrying a lady not prominently in Society, as I presume you do—as I presume you do—</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Well?</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>As I presume you do, I’m not sure that <em>I</em> should tender her for preliminary dissection at afternoon tea-tables.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>No?</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>In fact, there is probably only one person—were I in your position tonight—with whom I should care to chat the matter over.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Who’s that?</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Yourself, of course. <i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">Going to <b epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</b> and standing beside him.</i> Of course, yourself, old friend.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td><i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction">After a pause.</i> I must seem a brute to you, Cayley. But there are some acts which are hard to explain, hard to defend—</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>To defend—?</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Some acts which one must trust to time to put right.</td>
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<td/>
<td>
<i epub:type="z3998:stage-direction"><b epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</b> watches him for a moment, then takes up his hat and coat.</i>
</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Drummle</td>
<td>Well, I’ll be moving.</td>
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<td epub:type="z3998:persona">Aubrey</td>
<td>Cayley! Confound you and your old friendship! Do you think I forget it? Put your coat down! Why did you stay behind here? Cayley, the lady I am going to marry is the lady—who is known as—<abbr>Mrs.</abbr> Jarman.</td>
</tr>