2022-05-24_RJMByOx9ey8_Podreon-Ep-6-BURN-OUT.mp4.en.vtt

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Kind: captions
Language: en

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[Music]
hello everyone hello hello my name is

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james i'm nick and welcome to the
padreon this is our

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fourth fifth sixth episode i have not
been counting neither have i and it's

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kind of my job
um

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probably the most consistent page uh
podcast we put out ever

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i think like this is like yeah fourth
consecutive weeks we've actually managed

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to pull this off yeah
wow

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we're like professional and stuff yeah
um

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i think the most we ever got before was
like

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three weeks and then we had a break and
it's like i'll get back to it next week

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yeah there was always a break but we're
doing this for

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our amazing patrons it's a job so we
will never take a break never take a

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break
um

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speaking of never taking a break today's
episode is about

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burnout

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um which
nick is going to get to avoid because

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he's taking two months off avoid honey i
already was burnt out like you saw what

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happened like the last
two days after we stopped shooting like

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i was a wreck
yeah um

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i'm even starting to feel it myself just
working on the new video

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it should be out this sunday i say
should

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um
but i'm not putting any guarantees on it

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um
but like i'm i'm even starting to feel

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it just like
because we've been putting out a lot of

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videos over the last couple of months
yeah from the beginning of the year like

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youtube started being a massive asshat
to us so yeah and because they were

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doing that we were like okay we need to
put out more videos

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so my experience is like i
i'm not trying to diminish what you do

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but like i work most consistently
because i do the writing which takes up

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a lot of time and it's kind of like a
marathon sort of stuff whereas

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you more so have like a
um a job yeah where it's like you know

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several hours a day etc whereas i kind
of come in you're a sprinter you kind of

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take the when yeah when we've assembled
the thing like from when we start

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editing the script when it's finished
when we start editing that's when you

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kind of take off and you start pulling
like 14 hour days

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um
yeah for like you and you do so it's

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like whereas i'm like a consistent level
of work

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uh throughout the month you're kind of
an excessive amount of work for a week

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yeah like an unhealthy amount of work
yeah and so like the way that this year

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has worked so far is like we put out the
banana fish

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video um and then yeah and then things
started to go wrong

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yeah we put out the banana fish video
and it got demonetized because there is

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indication of police violence some
[ __ ] because it's gay

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and then yeah according to youtube this
is what i got back from actual

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representatives of youtube sorry if you
hear any background noise there's people

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outside and it's it's relatively warm so
we have the door open uh the patio door

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um
that uh what they said was there are

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shots of police violence
or not of police violence there are

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shots of um
rioting

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in the opening credits yeah and that's
what demonetized the video and they

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wouldn't let me like black out the
opening credits they wouldn't like

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youtube used to do
yeah um they wouldn't let me do anything

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like that i couldn't just re-upload the
video because at the time it already had

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like a hundred thousand views and we
couldn't lose a hundred thousand views

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yeah because what the way that the
algorithm works is that you know like

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things
uh travel based on momentum if things

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are getting a lot of views in a short
amount of time uh then they'll get

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recommended to other people yeah if you
re-uploaded the video it would have lost

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those views
the people who already watched it

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wouldn't have watched it again yeah most
of you um

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uh people on patreon and in your
community would have because they're

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yeah even on mute while they did
something else uh but it would so that

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it would have lost on a couple
a few dozen

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thousand views
um which would not have been enough to

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kind of press it into other people
yeah and now it's it's

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i think it's the most viewed video this
year yeah

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which kind of stings because we because
we put a lot of work because we got no

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money from it yeah um but then youtube
came out and said okay well we're going

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to we we're actually going to let you
monetize the gay panic video at first

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you were like no i'm not going to do
them i was like don't do that that's a

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trap and you're like yeah i'm not going
to do it but then they kept pushing you

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and so like i i a lot of patrons will
remember this i asked like ken and would

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you be okay if i made it public because
you know was going to be just a patron

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exclusive video and the overwhelming
response was yes yeah and so i made it

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public and then within a week it was
demonetized and rated 18 plus yeah which

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which getting a team plus rating on your
channel is not just a matter of like oh

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it gets demonetized it's a black mark
uh you can only do that so many times

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before youtube will actively shut down
your channel no

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no they won't shut down their channel i
thought it was no that's that's that's

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that's a whole other thing okay um 18
plus is like you can upload as many 18

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plus videos as you want they're not
going to get rid of your channel yeah

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and they gave it the 18 plus rating for
the most asinine reason ever there is a

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shot late in the video
um

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when we're covering the gwen
gwen

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section
uh in the background

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out of focus there is a crime scene
photograph yeah

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and that is why they rated it 18 plus

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how do like straight people make money
off of their true crime there are so

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many true crime documentary channels on
youtube and so like

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oh yeah i forgot to mention that in the
banana fish video there is a shot from

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pose with a dead sex worker
yeah but that's not what really you you

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would have thought no it would and and
it was specifically

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the violence
the the burning car in the opening

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cruise
all right which is funny because the

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alternate titles for the patron version
were just shots from banana fish but

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that was demonetized because it was
using uh a fleetwood mac song yeah

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you just can't win um
yeah but so

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so then we put out a bunch of videos so
then so then what immediately happened

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and this is what happened is like you
know like um it's like

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we had to react to that yeah and so like
you're like okay nick time to hunker

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down and write this write another video
and i was like

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[ __ ] so i kind of
over two weeks worked my ass off to kind

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of write something that we could use
what came out after that was that the

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shipping video
i can't remember exactly i think it was

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the shipping video that came out after
that

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which is what spearheaded the telos
funding which was amazing and fantastic

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but there was something about that that
kind of messed up and it was like and

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and for like well yeah
it's what happened with the shipping

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video was that uh it did really really
well it was doing really well it was the

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most viewed
um

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video on the channel for the first
little bit

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um
and then it hit a wall

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and
like

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there's no official
statement of what happened but it seems

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like there was a lot of people who were
not happy

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that i
um

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compared adam to be a child uh child
predator well that but there were a

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bunch of things like saying that
you know kind of arguing that there's

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more
um lesbian content out there than there

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is gay content especially in like
children's media

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while at the same time making the
concession that a lot of it is done

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specifically for straight men i think
kids media i'm not in kids but you know

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like the you know like um the more overt
lesbian representation uh in like adult

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media is made
for the intention of attracting straight

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attracting straight men to that yeah
that it's this for the straight the

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straight men not for actual lesbians but
um and even though a lot of people did

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not like that and so they downvoted the
video and so the video stopped being

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recommended yeah um which kind of put a
hamper on the channel because the next

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two videos that came out were the disney
video and the wanda video

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neither of them did very well at all
wanda has since picked up yeah since

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doctor strange came out because people
are angry and they click on things when

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they're angry um
and so the wanda video is doing well now

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um
but it was just like

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basically for the first
four months

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of 2022 it was constant reactionary like
this is like we need to get this done we

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need to get this done this is until
finally

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i put out the the the the video asking
for patrons

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um and that was a huge success so this
is what my look life looked like it's

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like okay so we react reacted to
the um banana fish banana fish video by

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making the other video public and then
we reacted to that getting demonetized

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by rushing through the shipping shipping
video which you know led to some

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problems with other stuff like the um
uh sort of a lack of down votes yeah and

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also um
uh

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sort of misgendering casey
uh casey with questions jason and sort

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of like
setting not doing our due diligence to

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sort of uh and this is on me mostly to
sort of set up that a concession

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about that it's a and reinforce the idea
that it's okay for straight women to

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write gay characters but just pointing
out that there is a

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you know difference yeah there's a
difference and so that didn't really

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come across as much as i would have
wanted it to because we were rushing

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because we were reacting so for about
four months my life was

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um
kind of thinking okay

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after the next video i'm going to get a
break um

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i'm going to get two weeks to just kind
of

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chill out and breathe for half a second
and then

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consistently after we put out the video
it just tanked and so i didn't get a

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break and so like i even though i would
condition myself to be like okay i'm

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gonna get to relax i'm gonna get to
breathe for a second it was like i can't

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start writing on the next thing
immediately and i got i worked myself

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into
such a mental health spiral i don't know

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if you um if that came across to you oh
no not at all

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but yeah i was i was not that was
sarcasm by the way yeah

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i was not in a good place um
i have not been in a good place i'm kind

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of working unworking myself out because
there's there's a difference between i

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think
working a lot and being very busy

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and i like to be very bad and seeing the
results and working a lot being very

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busy and seeing people
actively ignore your work yeah uh which

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i think was really
weighing heavy on you that you were you

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were doing a lot of work that wasn't
paying and especially because like i i

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had just put out i had just really
gentlemen's club evelyn i picked one

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um
uh in october yeah and so like uh we

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were taking some time and immediately
after that i was like okay we gotta

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focus on some videos because you know we
had the we you need to do the november

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video which what what was what what's
that again

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i think that was the china video yeah uh
which was actually relatively quick

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right i think uh yeah because like when
i write a video when a video is written

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majority by me
it's written very quickly because if i

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am able to write the majority of the
video myself it's because i'm angry yeah

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and
it's topical i can just like

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punch it out very quickly and that's
that's what the china video was that was

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the rowling video where it's like the
livelihood and that's what a lot of the

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the pocket gay videos are yeah i think
the china video worked really well for

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that reason because you had like this
burst of information about like china

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how the film industry works and i kind
of took that and i analyzed and

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basically made the anti-fascist video
that my friends have been sort of

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reinforcing me about that i'm not just a
hacktivist

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so like we had um december off for
reasons which was a very stressful

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reason
um did we have december i think we

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released a video on december we put out
a video but that was i think a shorter

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one or maybe we didn't because that was
when we had the stuff going on

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i think we really the another thing to
no you released the um

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uh
you made the uh panic defense for

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patrons in december yeah the queer panic
video went out in december um and then

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something else to remember
is the

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night that the banana fish video went
live was the night my mom died yeah

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uh so all of december a lot of december
that wasn't december it was i know but a

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lot of december was making preparations
for that yeah and kind of like with that

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so like
so like 2022 youtube had been being a

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dick my mom passed away
uh fighting with insurance companies

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just like constant hell yeah and
you know thank god for for you guys for

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kind of coming in and saving us from
youtube's algorithm the patrons took so

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immediately took so much off of our
shoulders that had just been living

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there for months which oddly
kind of kicked me into i need to do more

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yeah um so you know now instead of one
video a month it's two or three videos a

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month yeah um i'd like to keep it at two
um

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depends on the length of the video but
um

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like for for instance like the next
video that's coming out the

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uh video analyzing camp
uh it's gonna be one long video for

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patrons and then two videos on two
videos on youtube

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uh which are roughly going to be two one
hour videos on youtube and a two hour

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video for patrons
um

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[Music]
and

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uh there's also going to be later on in
june

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uh a video looking at queer as folk the
american queers folk show

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um
because there's the the reboot happening

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um
and then through the summer we're just

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gonna do pocket gaze videos because you
know

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taking a little bit of a break on the
summer would be nice and youtube kind of

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dies in the summer because people are
out doing things and they're not just

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sitting home watching videos
um

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so
um

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in case you know anyone listening wasn't
aware there'll be shorter videos coming

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out during the summer and then back to
normal in the fall

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um
but yeah like i i've seen like

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i've seen you very stressed about
everything and that's why i was like

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okay i'm gonna well right two months i
was talking about how like i just put

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out my book and about
march and a little bit into april i was

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uh really starting to just freak out
about how i just abandoned my fiction

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writing because i was like right we were
writing videos so reactively i did not

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have time or energy
to devote to any of uh my creative

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projects yeah which made me feel like
this i'm just a one-trick pony i just

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published one book that's part of a
series i'm never gonna finish the series

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i'm never gonna write anything else like
yeah i just got so

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discouraged and when you get discouraged
like that about your own abilities and

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your own ability to like you know create
and generate things that makes your work

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productivity worse
yeah so on top of like

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the fact that i was struggling to kind
of

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reassure myself that i was like a real
author that i do real fiction writing

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um i i was also really bummed out
because like the kind of thick

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non-fictious fictitious content i was
putting out into the world wasn't really

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receiving anything i was kind of like
i'm gonna have to a brand abandoned both

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things this just isn't for me i can't i
i i'm not meant to be doing this yeah

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and so that made it worse and so like
this is the kind of spiral that happened

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over about like six to eight weeks um
that started to get easier when we got

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the patron burst
but like it still got pre i was already

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kind of in the shutter by then so like
it was still kind of getting bad

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internally even though things externally
were improving

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um
and i'm like i'm starting to look up i'm

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starting to do a bit better i am more
able now to talk myself out of spirals

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most of the time um than i was before as
in like the last week or two

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um and hopefully over the next a little
bit that i'm going to have off uh with

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some some assistance towards james if he
wants to show me a script now and then

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uh to sort of look over uh then like i
i'm really hoping that i can get my

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creative juices back and start getting
to work on

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a normal keel again yeah
and like for me i i haven't been

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experiencing the burnout quite as much
as you but i've been experiencing guilt

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uh for instance yesterday i was very
very sick

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um
i couldn't like i take pills every day

259
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for epilepsy and and anxiety and whatnot
and

260
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last night i took them and
uh they did not stay down

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uh so i was very sick i was having a lot
of stomach problems

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um
and i also want to specify that

263
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sorry go ahead
i was just gonna say like and because i

264
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had to take a day where i was very very
sick and i couldn't edit

265
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um i felt not only was i sick all day
but i felt bad all day because i wasn't

266
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editing yeah because by taking that day
where i wasn't editing that meant that

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the video might not get finished for
sunday

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i just wanted to sort of specify that
like even though you say you haven't

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really been feeling the burnout that
much like it's not like you haven't been

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working or dealing with really stressful
things i mean like your mom passed away

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you had to struggle with your trust i'm
i'm

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in a whole other like what i mean is i
don't feel the burnout from youtube okay

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from doing youtube videos like i have
there is an amount of stress

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that i can't really describe
when

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i
take telos into account yeah for

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instance oh yeah uh because that's like
two more youtubes

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um worth of stuff because that's not
just like put something out and see how

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much money gets made off of it the money
has been paid yeah and so it's kind of

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like there's an obligation being paid
um and like i i um i've been trying to

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sort of pressure you
to sort of realize that you know you

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don't need that these people kind of
you you weren't paid a bunch of money

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00:18:25.600 --> 00:18:27.760
for
i don't think people had the would

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expect realistically that you'd be able
to churn out something and start turning

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out content within six months i don't
think there was that kind of turnaround

285
00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:39.679
sort of expectation
it's not six months because like we put

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out the call
for the

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the
the the indiegogo

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00:18:46.080 --> 00:18:50.400
in
february yeah um the first movie's not

289
00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:53.520
coming out until october so it's not six
months

290
00:18:53.520 --> 00:18:59.600
right but more like ten months right but
making movies uh in order to kind of

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turn it over the first one is a short
film yeah but still in order to turn out

292
00:19:03.840 --> 00:19:08.640
content like this um at a reliable keel
like you know indie films being produced

293
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like you know multiple a year you need
to be living in a place where all of

294
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these uh where there are institutions
where there's an infrastructure there is

295
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not here no so
we're still trying to figure out

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00:19:19.679 --> 00:19:24.160
how do we cast this thing yeah because
there's no like acting organizations

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00:19:24.160 --> 00:19:28.320
around here that aren't union and like
we're going to be paying 60 an hour like

298
00:19:28.320 --> 00:19:32.960
we're not cheap skating out yeah but we
can't afford union wages

299
00:19:32.960 --> 00:19:36.080
um
so like i just want to like offer this

300
00:19:36.080 --> 00:19:39.679
council that like
we don't have to as long as we kind of

301
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you know keep people updated with the
process we don't have to like kind of

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00:19:43.600 --> 00:19:46.640
immediately
turn stuff around granted i know that

303
00:19:46.640 --> 00:19:48.640
you want to get final girl up for
halloween

304
00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:51.679
uh because it is a bit of a horror movie
and that's important and you know it is

305
00:19:51.679 --> 00:19:56.240
a short film so you know like we can
that doesn't seem unreasonable to me

306
00:19:56.240 --> 00:20:00.320
uh but here's the difference here's the
difference you're looking at this from a

307
00:20:00.320 --> 00:20:04.720
creative point of view i'm looking at it
from the creative and business side of

308
00:20:04.720 --> 00:20:08.880
things yeah because
if you know the

309
00:20:08.880 --> 00:20:13.679
image of telos becomes
oh they took the money and ran

310
00:20:13.679 --> 00:20:17.520
then
that doesn't look good

311
00:20:17.520 --> 00:20:21.840
right i mean like but we're we're not
like um harry and megan who got paid two

312
00:20:21.840 --> 00:20:25.840
million dollars for a podcast who that
have yet to that has yet to materialize

313
00:20:25.840 --> 00:20:29.600
but if anyone would like to pay us two
million dollars for a podcast by all

314
00:20:29.600 --> 00:20:33.919
means uh we will do one a week the
movies would happen much sooner if we

315
00:20:33.919 --> 00:20:38.080
got two million dollars to record a
podcast oh if if if we had somehow

316
00:20:38.080 --> 00:20:40.799
raised two million dollars i would have
i would

317
00:20:40.799 --> 00:20:44.000
there'd be a movie out already yeah like
there'd be a feature-length movie out

318
00:20:44.000 --> 00:20:48.480
like i would have like i like 80 000
seems like a lot of money but like we

319
00:20:48.480 --> 00:20:51.679
were gonna go we were going over it with
um robin who i'd love to have in a

320
00:20:51.679 --> 00:20:55.120
podcast sometime uh just to let you guys
get to know her and she was kind of

321
00:20:55.120 --> 00:20:57.840
leading us through a lot of the
production side of movies because her

322
00:20:57.840 --> 00:21:03.600
husband has done stuff with that um
and like it can get

323
00:21:03.600 --> 00:21:07.039
prohibitively expensive and i won't talk
about the circumstances for why it

324
00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:11.760
wouldn't well i will uh
it can get prohibitively expensive

325
00:21:11.760 --> 00:21:16.159
because for instance if you're shooting
in a public place you're supposed to get

326
00:21:16.159 --> 00:21:18.720
a permit
if you're shooting anywhere that is not

327
00:21:18.720 --> 00:21:21.919
a private residence you're supposed to
get a permit from the city

328
00:21:21.919 --> 00:21:24.720
uh in our case a permit from the
province

329
00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:27.760
um
which apparently

330
00:21:27.760 --> 00:21:30.880
can take a very long time not only a
long time and

331
00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:33.919
um
there can be

332
00:21:33.919 --> 00:21:36.559
uh
you know depending upon who is

333
00:21:36.559 --> 00:21:40.799
processing the permit you have to give
them like a synopsis of the movie and

334
00:21:40.799 --> 00:21:44.320
sometimes you have to give them the
script and everything and a lot of times

335
00:21:44.320 --> 00:21:47.520
they don't like to give permits to
horror movies first of all and a lot of

336
00:21:47.520 --> 00:21:52.240
times gay movies seem to get into this
kind of development hell with them where

337
00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:56.080
they don't say no
because then that's homophobic but they

338
00:21:56.080 --> 00:22:01.200
drag the process out as long as possible
and my friends i have two friends who

339
00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:05.120
work in the film industry one of them's
actually won an emmy um

340
00:22:05.120 --> 00:22:08.080
and i was talking to them about it after
we talked to robin and they were like no

341
00:22:08.080 --> 00:22:11.760
no no no for the money you have you run
and gun it

342
00:22:11.760 --> 00:22:16.000
if the movie becomes big enough that
they come to you and say hey you shot

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00:22:16.000 --> 00:22:20.960
that here pay us if the movie becomes
that big you've been paid for it and you

344
00:22:20.960 --> 00:22:24.000
know someone has bought the distribution
all right you asked for forgiveness not

345
00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:27.120
for permission
well yeah basically the like matt

346
00:22:27.120 --> 00:22:30.640
specifically said like pay the fine
later

347
00:22:30.640 --> 00:22:34.640
and pay the fine for not paying for the
the upfront because if the movie is

348
00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:38.559
successful enough to kind of get those
eyes and a lot of times like

349
00:22:38.559 --> 00:22:45.840
they're both named matt um
a lot of times like they matt said like

350
00:22:45.840 --> 00:22:50.080
especially like in a smaller city
they're not going to come after you like

351
00:22:50.080 --> 00:22:53.200
if you have a movie that comes out
that's relatively successful

352
00:22:53.200 --> 00:22:57.600
that you're open and say like oh i shot
this here that city is not going to come

353
00:22:57.600 --> 00:23:00.320
after you because then they look bad
yeah

354
00:23:00.320 --> 00:23:04.480
um and so it's like especially if it's a
city like halifax was desperately trying

355
00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:07.919
to attract people to it especially post
covid since tourism i haven't heard a

356
00:23:07.919 --> 00:23:13.679
single foghorn from a cruise ship since
in like two years yeah so like the city

357
00:23:13.679 --> 00:23:16.159
is
not

358
00:23:16.159 --> 00:23:20.720
it needs people here it's a function the
halifax is built off of tourism and the

359
00:23:20.720 --> 00:23:23.520
big thing um
[Music]

360
00:23:23.520 --> 00:23:26.400
also is
i

361
00:23:26.400 --> 00:23:30.400
don't
want to pay thousands of dollars

362
00:23:30.400 --> 00:23:33.520
to the government
when i can be paying thousands of

363
00:23:33.520 --> 00:23:36.480
dollars to actors and artists to help
make these movies better well yeah

364
00:23:36.480 --> 00:23:39.360
especially because like if you pay that
much money to the government that 80

365
00:23:39.360 --> 00:23:43.520
thousand dollars is going to go towards
two short films

366
00:23:43.520 --> 00:23:48.480
maybe yeah like
instead of short films features series

367
00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:52.000
and like actually get a start on this
like to get stuff because like we don't

368
00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:55.279
want to have to go back to people to be
like hey we made a short film we need

369
00:23:55.279 --> 00:24:00.000
another hundred grand for another one
yeah um and like because we decided to

370
00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:02.880
do everything on the up and up and
that's expensive and short films are

371
00:24:02.880 --> 00:24:05.679
short films are basically proof of
concept you take those around two movie

372
00:24:05.679 --> 00:24:10.080
festivals maybe someone likes it they
give you a budget to make a larger one

373
00:24:10.080 --> 00:24:13.360
and then it spirals from there whereas
like you know like and like a big part

374
00:24:13.360 --> 00:24:16.320
of the budget with short films is you
need to go to the show the film

375
00:24:16.320 --> 00:24:20.640
festivals you can't just it's with
features you can kind of send them

376
00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:24.640
around and you don't need to tour with
them yeah but with a short film you need

377
00:24:24.640 --> 00:24:28.080
to be there because someone needs to see
it and then see you there and you know

378
00:24:28.080 --> 00:24:31.039
you're there to shake their hand and
then have lunch or something like that

379
00:24:31.039 --> 00:24:34.559
and then you know you never know who you
meet who's like i saw your short film

380
00:24:34.559 --> 00:24:36.880
and it was great it can go from there
but

381
00:24:36.880 --> 00:24:39.840
uh back to burnout
right

382
00:24:39.840 --> 00:24:43.679
so like all of that's going on in my
head at the same time as you know all

383
00:24:43.679 --> 00:24:47.120
the youtube stuff
um and you know like i do most of the

384
00:24:47.120 --> 00:24:49.679
writing through the month for the
youtube stuff so like you can kind of

385
00:24:49.679 --> 00:24:52.799
focus more on the tele side of things so
that's kind of the script is off your

386
00:24:52.799 --> 00:24:56.400
shoulders and except for that week where
we edit and shoot

387
00:24:56.400 --> 00:25:00.720
yeah i think you underestimate the
amount of thought that i put into the

388
00:25:00.720 --> 00:25:04.080
youtube stuff and scheduling
and

389
00:25:04.080 --> 00:25:07.039
making sure that like all of that kind
of stuff

390
00:25:07.039 --> 00:25:11.120
because it's not just like i sit on my
ass and wait for the script and then i

391
00:25:11.120 --> 00:25:14.720
shoot and edit it
there is so much going on in the

392
00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:19.600
background
like within like adsense and dealing

393
00:25:19.600 --> 00:25:23.679
with uh
different copyright claims that come in

394
00:25:23.679 --> 00:25:28.480
that happens oh all the time really um
that i deal with and have to like get in

395
00:25:28.480 --> 00:25:31.679
touch with people
uh trying to reach out to even like

396
00:25:31.679 --> 00:25:35.080
sponsors and stuff like that which
nobody nobody wants to sponsor us

397
00:25:35.080 --> 00:25:39.440
[Laughter]
um

398
00:25:39.440 --> 00:25:44.720
and you have got an approach to uh peg
to pedal nfts though yes

399
00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:48.080
um on a on a uh
uh

400
00:25:48.080 --> 00:25:51.600
uh what's it called when they pay you
when you make money

401
00:25:51.600 --> 00:25:55.520
commission on a commission basis um i
wouldn't peddle nfts even if they paid

402
00:25:55.520 --> 00:25:58.320
me upfront
um

403
00:25:58.320 --> 00:26:02.240
but there's a lot more behind-the-scenes
stuff going on than i think you'd

404
00:26:02.240 --> 00:26:05.360
realize
um

405
00:26:05.360 --> 00:26:07.919
and i wouldn't have thought that
copyright claims came in as regularly as

406
00:26:07.919 --> 00:26:11.200
they did well it's not just copyright
claims but they they do for every video

407
00:26:11.200 --> 00:26:14.799
there are multiple copyright claims um
yeah like i said i wasn't trying to

408
00:26:14.799 --> 00:26:18.880
diminish what you do do but like you
know but like it's and

409
00:26:18.880 --> 00:26:23.039
so it and dealing with like scheduling
and trying to build out the stuff for

410
00:26:23.039 --> 00:26:25.840
telos and
figuring out

411
00:26:25.840 --> 00:26:30.240
a lot of like okay what's the next video
going to look like and stuff like that

412
00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:32.640
and also the pocket gaze that i'm
writing

413
00:26:32.640 --> 00:26:35.840
um
excuse me

414
00:26:35.840 --> 00:26:40.080
and so like i i i think you
underestimate the amount of work i do in

415
00:26:40.080 --> 00:26:42.799
a month
um

416
00:26:42.799 --> 00:26:46.640
and
that's that's youtube related

417
00:26:46.640 --> 00:26:52.480
that is intellis related um
and the telo stuff is a lot of finance

418
00:26:52.480 --> 00:26:55.600
and whereas the youtube stuff is a lot
of dealing with people which i would

419
00:26:55.600 --> 00:27:00.159
much rather deal with money than people
um

420
00:27:00.640 --> 00:27:05.679
but so like i
with with this new video the the camp

421
00:27:05.679 --> 00:27:10.080
one
even i'm starting to feel the burnout

422
00:27:10.080 --> 00:27:14.000
and it's not even that i'm like oh my
god i can't do this it's

423
00:27:14.000 --> 00:27:17.919
specifically like
projecting projected burnout because i'm

424
00:27:17.919 --> 00:27:21.600
like okay so this video is this is going
to be this long and it's going to be out

425
00:27:21.600 --> 00:27:24.399
on this day and then two weeks later
this video is going to be out and then

426
00:27:24.399 --> 00:27:28.799
two weeks later this video is going to
be out and like doing that but also then

427
00:27:28.799 --> 00:27:32.880
saying okay and somewhere in there we
need to schedule uh we need to put out

428
00:27:32.880 --> 00:27:36.159
the casting call we need to schedule
shooting where do we put out the casting

429
00:27:36.159 --> 00:27:40.640
call what places can we get it to um how
do we do that and then scheduling the

430
00:27:40.640 --> 00:27:45.039
actual like audition dates
uh stuff like that maybe necessary

431
00:27:45.039 --> 00:27:48.799
callbacks um
all of that

432
00:27:48.799 --> 00:27:52.559
within the very short period of time
coming up so that

433
00:27:52.559 --> 00:27:55.760
casting can be done before final girl
needs to be shot

434
00:27:55.760 --> 00:27:59.600
um
and then there was a kind of a hiccup

435
00:27:59.600 --> 00:28:03.520
with final girl
um that i won't get into here that kind

436
00:28:03.520 --> 00:28:08.960
of like threw the production process up
in the air um so it's completely

437
00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:13.600
different than what i had been planning
and had built our entire schedule around

438
00:28:13.600 --> 00:28:18.559
um
and so there's all of that going on

439
00:28:18.559 --> 00:28:22.399
and
then at the same time

440
00:28:22.399 --> 00:28:27.760
i am also like you know sitting there
working on the video the current video

441
00:28:27.760 --> 00:28:30.960
editing the current video and thinking
okay what video are we going to do in

442
00:28:30.960 --> 00:28:34.720
october
and it's may

443
00:28:34.720 --> 00:28:37.039
yeah
i'm a little less

444
00:28:37.039 --> 00:28:40.960
uh sort of inclined to plan ahead with
the specifics of what video we're doing

445
00:28:40.960 --> 00:28:44.320
because like for last year there was
also many times where we had like oh

446
00:28:44.320 --> 00:28:47.120
we're gonna make this video next and
then like the day after there was

447
00:28:47.120 --> 00:28:50.720
something that dropped in the news or i
don't know i know but it was like

448
00:28:50.720 --> 00:28:56.080
i'm doing it
to try and reduce the work level because

449
00:28:56.080 --> 00:29:00.559
for instance like talking about doing a
video about black swan in october

450
00:29:00.559 --> 00:29:07.840
that gives us you know four months to
work on that yeah instead of

451
00:29:07.840 --> 00:29:10.960
okay here's two weeks getting oh i was
saying like sometimes we had like we

452
00:29:10.960 --> 00:29:14.799
came up with a really you know
interesting idea and then we wrote it

453
00:29:14.799 --> 00:29:20.080
really quickly because like it was kind
of fresh in the in the mind concept um

454
00:29:20.080 --> 00:29:24.080
and i mean that's what the pocket games
are for yeah but like i don't want and

455
00:29:24.080 --> 00:29:27.279
so that's why i was kind of like pushing
to kind of reduce the amount of workload

456
00:29:27.279 --> 00:29:31.039
that we have because like if
like especially for instance if we're

457
00:29:31.039 --> 00:29:34.640
pressured to put out three videos a a
month like you know one regular size

458
00:29:34.640 --> 00:29:37.840
video and two pocket case that's a lot
of writing especially when you have

459
00:29:37.840 --> 00:29:41.600
everything else going on with telos like
you you need to give yourself a bit of a

460
00:29:41.600 --> 00:29:45.520
break and i think people that are on
patreon and people who have submit who

461
00:29:45.520 --> 00:29:49.600
have donated tells will understand
that if you have all these projects

462
00:29:49.600 --> 00:29:52.320
going on
um it's only natural that things are

463
00:29:52.320 --> 00:29:56.080
going to take a bit longer especially
because like you can't produce quality

464
00:29:56.080 --> 00:30:01.120
content while you are in the process of
burning out um so if we are going to be

465
00:30:01.120 --> 00:30:04.799
putting together for a short film
um

466
00:30:04.799 --> 00:30:09.200
i would really like to kind of give that
our best and not be you know like while

467
00:30:09.200 --> 00:30:12.080
we're shooting people are like okay what
video were we gonna do we have to put up

468
00:30:12.080 --> 00:30:15.279
more videos more videos
uh and so i'm not saying we need to put

469
00:30:15.279 --> 00:30:19.600
out more videos like we're doing a video
like a full-length video and a pocket

470
00:30:19.600 --> 00:30:22.480
game yeah every month
excuse me

471
00:30:22.480 --> 00:30:26.240
um
and like that that's the plan

472
00:30:26.240 --> 00:30:31.919
um basically you know a video every two
weeks more or less yeah um

473
00:30:31.919 --> 00:30:35.440
and i think that gives us a good buffer
zone to kind of

474
00:30:35.440 --> 00:30:40.000
uh have time to work on other things
um

475
00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:43.600
and kind of develop other things
especially the short films or film

476
00:30:43.600 --> 00:30:46.720
feature films later
um

477
00:30:46.720 --> 00:30:50.159
in a way that like if we keep working at
the keel that we have been i don't think

478
00:30:50.159 --> 00:30:54.799
we'd be able to get anything substantive
substantial equality across

479
00:30:54.799 --> 00:30:58.720
i mean i disagree like i'm not saying we
need to

480
00:30:58.720 --> 00:31:03.200
like
you know burn ourselves out consistently

481
00:31:03.200 --> 00:31:07.840
but what i'm saying is that i don't
think there has been a quality reduction

482
00:31:07.840 --> 00:31:11.760
no but i'm saying like if we had the
workload that we have had for the last

483
00:31:11.760 --> 00:31:15.760
few months while at the same time
needing to produce a movie i don't think

484
00:31:15.760 --> 00:31:19.120
that i think that something would have
to give

485
00:31:19.120 --> 00:31:22.640
i mean i disagree and maybe that's just
because like having gone to film school

486
00:31:22.640 --> 00:31:25.360
and stuff like that i am
[Music]

487
00:31:25.360 --> 00:31:29.919
used to having like
five or six different

488
00:31:29.919 --> 00:31:34.159
video based projects going at once
um

489
00:31:34.159 --> 00:31:36.880
and not being overwhelmed by that
the

490
00:31:36.880 --> 00:31:40.000
[Music]
and that's that's kind of the thing with

491
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:43.120
me right now that has me the most
stressed out is not the video production

492
00:31:43.120 --> 00:31:47.760
side of things whether that's telos uh
with the short films or the the feature

493
00:31:47.760 --> 00:31:51.840
films or the series or with youtube
whether it's short videos or long videos

494
00:31:51.840 --> 00:31:56.399
or live streams or whatever none of that
stresses me out the actual shooting

495
00:31:56.399 --> 00:32:01.519
editing all of that none of that
stresses me out um

496
00:32:01.519 --> 00:32:06.000
the writing side of it stresses me out a
little bit uh obviously you do the

497
00:32:06.000 --> 00:32:09.840
majority of the writing for the longer
videos i do the majority for the pocket

498
00:32:09.840 --> 00:32:12.720
gays
i'm going to be writing

499
00:32:12.720 --> 00:32:16.720
the first couple of short films myself
um

500
00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:20.640
but
the thing that stresses me out

501
00:32:20.640 --> 00:32:24.799
is the planning
because like

502
00:32:24.799 --> 00:32:30.880
planning takes a lot of mental energy um
that

503
00:32:31.120 --> 00:32:34.559
i'm i'm sure you're aware of
um

504
00:32:34.559 --> 00:32:39.600
so like even me planning like okay what
day should this video come out that is

505
00:32:39.600 --> 00:32:43.519
hours and hours of trying to like figure
out like okay is anyone else coming out

506
00:32:43.519 --> 00:32:49.039
with a video around this day all that
kind of stuff like it it's like

507
00:32:49.039 --> 00:32:52.880
there's a lot of looking at schedules
and trying to predict things

508
00:32:52.880 --> 00:32:57.279
but also like with telos
not just like okay when can we release

509
00:32:57.279 --> 00:33:01.120
final girl it's okay when can we
put when do we put out the casting call

510
00:33:01.120 --> 00:33:05.120
when do we do the actual casting
sessions when do we decide on the actors

511
00:33:05.120 --> 00:33:08.799
when do we start shooting when dead dip
debt and it goes on and on and on

512
00:33:08.799 --> 00:33:11.919
that's the stuff that stresses me out
like i wish i had the money to just hire

513
00:33:11.919 --> 00:33:17.600
an assistant to do that for me like i
would i would i would happily

514
00:33:17.600 --> 00:33:21.600
do that
what i was saying is if i had to be in a

515
00:33:21.600 --> 00:33:26.960
position where i had to consistently
put out uh two to five thousand words a

516
00:33:26.960 --> 00:33:32.080
day for a video a day sometimes yes
well yeah that's what i mean that's

517
00:33:32.080 --> 00:33:36.399
those are the rushed videos that you're
talking about that you at the same time

518
00:33:36.399 --> 00:33:39.760
as working on i'm talking about the
workload for the past few months if i

519
00:33:39.760 --> 00:33:43.840
had to do that well at the same time
worrying about uh going to movies

520
00:33:43.840 --> 00:33:49.519
writing scripts for those movies editing
scripts for those movies um are like um

521
00:33:49.519 --> 00:33:53.600
mentally processing how to arrange
lightings on various sets how to arrange

522
00:33:53.600 --> 00:33:56.640
actors
that would i wouldn't be able to do that

523
00:33:56.640 --> 00:34:00.080
much
just in terms of the sheer volume of

524
00:34:00.080 --> 00:34:04.159
like words that i need to be putting out
at the same time as juggling um mental

525
00:34:04.159 --> 00:34:09.119
energy expending mental energy like well
that's why i'm scheduling videos five

526
00:34:09.119 --> 00:34:14.079
months ahead of time so that it's not we
need 5 000 words a day

527
00:34:14.079 --> 00:34:17.919
it's okay so we're doing a black swan
video in october

528
00:34:17.919 --> 00:34:20.800
there are months and months and months
to get that figured out and work on it

529
00:34:20.800 --> 00:34:24.480
and write it and et cetera et cetera
instead of we're doing a black swan

530
00:34:24.480 --> 00:34:28.399
video two weeks from now yeah
uh so that it's not two to five thousand

531
00:34:28.399 --> 00:34:31.119
words a day
right but that's what i'm talk that's

532
00:34:31.119 --> 00:34:35.200
what i'm talking about like i am trying
to schedule these things

533
00:34:35.200 --> 00:34:41.839
well ahead of time yeah um so that
there's no

534
00:34:41.839 --> 00:34:46.320
surprises coming in
um and saying like oh we need to do this

535
00:34:46.320 --> 00:34:50.159
because if if like something comes out
that i'm like i need to talk about this

536
00:34:50.159 --> 00:34:56.000
then there's a pocket gay for it um
like with the fantastic beasts video um

537
00:34:56.000 --> 00:35:00.079
that came out i watched it and i was
like i need to talk about this garbage

538
00:35:00.079 --> 00:35:02.720
and
you know i watched it and i pointed out

539
00:35:02.720 --> 00:35:07.520
why it was worse than you thought it was
did you watch yeah you did watch it yeah

540
00:35:07.520 --> 00:35:10.720
um
like kind of tempted to do a pocket

541
00:35:10.720 --> 00:35:13.760
about chip and dale because it's just so
much gayer than

542
00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:17.760
i ever thought it was gareth and it had
any right to be and like apparently like

543
00:35:17.760 --> 00:35:22.079
originally they were brothers
but with this movie they clarified that

544
00:35:22.079 --> 00:35:25.359
they're not
and everyone's like oh

545
00:35:25.359 --> 00:35:30.480
they're gay
they were extremely gay and i i once

546
00:35:30.480 --> 00:35:36.000
again kind of um remnant feelings of
luca uh where it was

547
00:35:36.000 --> 00:35:39.119
this was a gay story
i don't think chippendale was a gay

548
00:35:39.119 --> 00:35:44.480
story i i that's what i liked about it i
think chip and dale had was a story that

549
00:35:44.480 --> 00:35:46.960
just so happened to have two gay
characters

550
00:35:46.960 --> 00:35:49.920
yeah yeah you're right but like there
were a few times i looked over it was

551
00:35:49.920 --> 00:35:54.480
like they're that's a gay that's a gay
thing and once again kind of like

552
00:35:54.480 --> 00:35:58.079
reminiscing yeah at one point they have
their arms around each other's hips yeah

553
00:35:58.079 --> 00:36:02.480
um yeah um and like that kind of feeds
into my ongoing they literally say i

554
00:36:02.480 --> 00:36:05.119
love you yes
and like that kind of feeds into my

555
00:36:05.119 --> 00:36:09.200
ongoing philosophy that straight people
will only see us

556
00:36:09.200 --> 00:36:13.040
a straight straight straight cisgender
people will only see us

557
00:36:13.040 --> 00:36:16.079
if we are being persecuted because of
our queerness if there's a coming out

558
00:36:16.079 --> 00:36:19.359
doesn't need to be persecuted i think it
just needs to be obvious does it need to

559
00:36:19.359 --> 00:36:24.000
be persecution
right but like if you are having a story

560
00:36:24.000 --> 00:36:27.920
that removes
i don't want to get into that but

561
00:36:27.920 --> 00:36:35.440
it's frustrating you're wrong um it's
it's not just persecution

562
00:36:35.440 --> 00:36:38.880
it's not just gay bashing and stuff like
that like the movie that's coming out

563
00:36:38.880 --> 00:36:42.800
bros
that's a gay romantic comedy no one's

564
00:36:42.800 --> 00:36:47.920
going to say oh i think they're actually
straight right but this no no no but

565
00:36:48.960 --> 00:36:52.560
like it's not about persecution it's
about taking away the it's feeding into

566
00:36:52.560 --> 00:36:56.960
the great queer coding about how you
constantly you personally uh we i guess

567
00:36:56.960 --> 00:37:00.320
you constantly uh lampooned for saying
like that's not actually gay you're

568
00:37:00.320 --> 00:37:03.119
reading into this wrong siddhan is
actually like not gay he just really

569
00:37:03.119 --> 00:37:06.240
respects link because what he did a
hundred years ago um

570
00:37:06.240 --> 00:37:10.480
like you know that kind of discussion
like it's impossible for us to insert

571
00:37:10.480 --> 00:37:15.680
ourselves into media with subtlety like
you're on ice um when they're in when

572
00:37:15.680 --> 00:37:19.200
things aren't necessarily explicit
because explicitly explicit c is not

573
00:37:19.200 --> 00:37:23.359
part of the plot or not part of the draw
uh it's impossible for us to be seen in

574
00:37:23.359 --> 00:37:27.200
those narratives
um unless the narrative is about how

575
00:37:27.200 --> 00:37:31.119
society is persecuting us because of our
queerness or unless the queerness is

576
00:37:31.119 --> 00:37:36.160
explicitly stated um and this queer
coding is always going to be read by

577
00:37:36.160 --> 00:37:39.680
straight people as straightness and
there is no way for us to argue with

578
00:37:39.680 --> 00:37:44.400
that because they consistently believe
these stories are straight because we

579
00:37:44.400 --> 00:37:49.359
only in subtlety we only in explicit
media we only exist when we have been

580
00:37:49.359 --> 00:37:52.480
suffering and that is what straight
people have been over accustomed to

581
00:37:52.480 --> 00:37:56.720
seeing us as yeah um and in media the
gay media that is directed to a straight

582
00:37:56.720 --> 00:38:00.640
audience always focuses on how the
particular queer in question is

583
00:38:00.640 --> 00:38:04.560
suffering what are they suffering under
uh why are they suffering and it's kind

584
00:38:04.560 --> 00:38:09.200
of this kind of
reoccurring sort of wheel of discussing

585
00:38:09.200 --> 00:38:12.800
uh queer prosecution in a way that queer
people and a lot of queer creators don't

586
00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:16.400
really want to get into see i don't
necessarily agree because i don't think

587
00:38:16.400 --> 00:38:21.359
there's any queer persecution going on
with like the bird cage i don't think

588
00:38:21.359 --> 00:38:25.040
there's anything you don't
well other than a [ __ ] son

589
00:38:25.040 --> 00:38:28.240
but yeah
that's once again that's a discourse on

590
00:38:28.240 --> 00:38:32.560
closeting um a discourse on a gay
gay couple that needs to exist in the

591
00:38:32.560 --> 00:38:35.920
closet and okay well what's the clear
persecution in bros that you watched the

592
00:38:35.920 --> 00:38:38.800
trailer what are you
queerness that's what i was talking

593
00:38:38.800 --> 00:38:42.320
about there is explicit queerness in
there there are two men kissing in the

594
00:38:42.320 --> 00:38:45.520
trailer it's undeniable at that point
i'm talking about explicitly subtle

595
00:38:45.520 --> 00:38:49.680
queer representation okay subtle queer
yeah i referenced yuri and ice yuri on

596
00:38:49.680 --> 00:38:53.839
ice and yeah lincoln sit on and other
ones that we've been talking about

597
00:38:53.839 --> 00:38:59.200
consistently um
sure uh post sight on sit on it

598
00:38:59.200 --> 00:39:04.320
um it's 30 rock joke
uh so yeah in discussions about things

599
00:39:04.320 --> 00:39:08.560
like yuri on ice we are there's never
going to be unless you have open-minded

600
00:39:08.560 --> 00:39:11.839
straight people there's never going to
be a way to sort of convince people that

601
00:39:11.839 --> 00:39:17.520
it isn't straight because
in the hegemonistic mindset of analyzing

602
00:39:17.520 --> 00:39:22.640
queerness queerness exists in spaces of
suffering or in sex um alternately

603
00:39:22.640 --> 00:39:27.119
queerness does not exist because success
is success without sexist gear is

604
00:39:27.119 --> 00:39:31.200
something that is uh pejorative
is that the word right it's something

605
00:39:31.200 --> 00:39:35.680
that is intrinsically linked to
heterosexual cisgender hegemonistic uh

606
00:39:35.680 --> 00:39:40.000
values i agree
we actually do agree on that okay um i i

607
00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:45.680
do think that you're right it's either
we need queer suffering or

608
00:39:45.920 --> 00:39:51.760
so blatant you cannot
say no or else because

609
00:39:51.760 --> 00:39:55.520
i have seen
certain heterosexuals on the internet oh

610
00:39:55.520 --> 00:39:58.960
dear where's this going who have watched
the old guard

611
00:39:58.960 --> 00:40:02.960
and said you know that scene
you know that scene with joe and nicki

612
00:40:02.960 --> 00:40:06.400
know that scene
where they say they love each other that

613
00:40:06.400 --> 00:40:11.599
was to distract
the bad guys this is what i mean

614
00:40:11.599 --> 00:40:16.560
like this is what so even when it's
obvious they'll find a way to say no

615
00:40:16.560 --> 00:40:21.119
like we read that as a queer experience
because it's like it's very clear to us

616
00:40:21.119 --> 00:40:25.119
this is how these people interact like
this is not that's

617
00:40:25.119 --> 00:40:29.440
sorry if you're heterosexual and that is
your ideal friendship i have some news

618
00:40:29.440 --> 00:40:31.760
for you

619
00:40:32.960 --> 00:40:38.880
yeah yeah which one chip which one is
which um dale uh doesn't eat whale

620
00:40:38.880 --> 00:40:42.880
uh so he's the goofy one
okay so chip is the one the insurance

621
00:40:42.880 --> 00:40:47.599
sales yeah okay chip's the cute one okay
i think it's i think i say he's the cute

622
00:40:47.599 --> 00:40:50.400
one because he continued to be normally
animated

623
00:40:50.400 --> 00:40:55.040
yeah i like that um
i i i it's weird because even though

624
00:40:55.040 --> 00:40:58.640
he's like traditionally animated his
eyes are so much more expressive than

625
00:40:58.640 --> 00:41:02.960
the cgi
yeah yeah um

626
00:41:02.960 --> 00:41:06.319
but you know with animation with
animation the more cartoonish animation

627
00:41:06.319 --> 00:41:10.000
style is the more licensed there is to
sort of break the rules of physics yeah

628
00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:12.880
whereas like you can't really do
although dale's little teeth were super

629
00:41:12.880 --> 00:41:17.520
cute dale's little teeth were cute and
not like the sonic teeth

630
00:41:18.240 --> 00:41:22.160
i did not i did not expect that cameo to
be as funny as it was as a recurring

631
00:41:22.160 --> 00:41:26.560
joke to the point that i felt a little
bit bad for the paramount animators who

632
00:41:26.560 --> 00:41:30.319
were instructed to animate this design
like that like yeah but they fixed it

633
00:41:30.319 --> 00:41:33.920
they did fix it i think that that was
just a little bit mean to kind of like

634
00:41:33.920 --> 00:41:39.440
lampoon the animators so badly i i think
the director was whose it was yeah yeah

635
00:41:39.440 --> 00:41:43.440
i'm not sure it was lampooning yeah yeah
because like animators people who do

636
00:41:43.440 --> 00:41:48.560
like the you know uh fingers to or pens
to tablets animation of the things and

637
00:41:48.560 --> 00:41:51.200
works with the computers and animate
these things they don't make the

638
00:41:51.200 --> 00:41:54.480
decisions about what the models look
like no that's their managers that's

639
00:41:54.480 --> 00:41:58.319
their directors um the director has
final say on what something looks like

640
00:41:58.319 --> 00:42:02.160
but like that's not the lead animator
that's not the lead concept art concept

641
00:42:02.160 --> 00:42:05.839
artist well even then like the lead
direct the the director would have seen

642
00:42:05.839 --> 00:42:10.560
like multiple versions and picked one
and picked one yes and picked the wrong

643
00:42:10.560 --> 00:42:14.319
one and picked that one and that's why
it was probably so easy to jump into

644
00:42:14.319 --> 00:42:17.440
like so quick that they jumped into a
different design because the design had

645
00:42:17.440 --> 00:42:20.720
already been done oh yeah absolutely and
then that said like no that that one

646
00:42:20.720 --> 00:42:26.400
looks too much like the the video game
that one looks too like truthful

647
00:42:26.400 --> 00:42:29.599
i just don't see how this is a real
thing and it's like people don't care

648
00:42:29.599 --> 00:42:34.079
about that it's a it's a fast hedgehog
okay you have jim carrey is dr robotnik

649
00:42:34.079 --> 00:42:37.200
still need to watch that i still need to
watch that apparently the second one is

650
00:42:37.200 --> 00:42:42.400
really really good with idris elba as
knuckles knuckles which is just like um

651
00:42:42.400 --> 00:42:48.000
yeah perfect perfect fasting um
they had a discussion about voice actor

652
00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:51.520
about real actors who shouldn't do voice
acting and injure zelda is not one of

653
00:42:51.520 --> 00:42:53.839
those
no he's got the voice he can do voice

654
00:42:53.839 --> 00:42:57.200
acting you either need to know how to
make your voice distinct or have an

655
00:42:57.200 --> 00:43:01.440
automatically distinctive voice yeah
either way like you know back on that

656
00:43:01.440 --> 00:43:04.000
discussion of like straight visibility
like

657
00:43:04.000 --> 00:43:08.880
um it's stressful
it's just it is it is and it's it it's

658
00:43:08.880 --> 00:43:13.040
burning me out
because honestly and this is this is

659
00:43:13.040 --> 00:43:16.560
this is something i don't really talk
about um

660
00:43:16.560 --> 00:43:20.960
the making of the videos
i and maybe it's because like i i've

661
00:43:20.960 --> 00:43:24.319
this is what i've wanted to do forever i
don't feel burnt out from this

662
00:43:24.319 --> 00:43:30.319
um even right now where i am knee-deep
in a very long video that basically when

663
00:43:30.319 --> 00:43:34.720
i edit a video here's some background
when i edit a video i basically edit it

664
00:43:34.720 --> 00:43:38.400
three times yeah i edit it once where i
go through and get rid of all of the

665
00:43:38.400 --> 00:43:42.960
pauses and the the silences and stuff
like that to get it where okay this is

666
00:43:42.960 --> 00:43:47.040
the length of the video and then i edit
it again putting in the b-roll putting

667
00:43:47.040 --> 00:43:51.280
in the cutaway clips the cutaway clips
all that stuff and then i edit it again

668
00:43:51.280 --> 00:43:55.280
for audio and music and that's the one i
usually sit on sit in on which you're

669
00:43:55.280 --> 00:43:58.880
not going to be here for that at this
time because uh we're recording this on

670
00:43:58.880 --> 00:44:03.040
monday nick's leaving on wednesday to go
home and my family for the first time in

671
00:44:03.040 --> 00:44:07.040
like three years since covet uh
immediate before god i saw my family in

672
00:44:07.040 --> 00:44:10.880
december of 2019
uh december of 2019. yeah was one for

673
00:44:10.880 --> 00:44:13.839
christmas
you were

674
00:44:13.839 --> 00:44:18.800
right i forgot about school right which
also again education caused burnout this

675
00:44:18.800 --> 00:44:23.440
this last few years have been
terrible but um

676
00:44:23.440 --> 00:44:27.440
but the um something that's really been
like

677
00:44:27.440 --> 00:44:31.920
the comment sections on my videos are
usually so

678
00:44:31.920 --> 00:44:36.000
nice and encouraging
like sometimes one thing that [ __ ]

679
00:44:36.000 --> 00:44:40.400
frustrates me so much is when something
someone says oh my god you look exactly

680
00:44:40.400 --> 00:44:44.640
like x
i'm never flattered by the comparison

681
00:44:44.640 --> 00:44:49.599
never ever flattered okay like just just
a heads up like one person compared me

682
00:44:49.599 --> 00:44:53.040
to someone i was like oh god and i
googled them and i was like i will

683
00:44:53.040 --> 00:44:57.359
accept that if i look like them 50
pounds from now i will be there who is

684
00:44:57.359 --> 00:45:01.359
it do you remember i can't remember he's
on the shadowhunter show okay and he's

685
00:45:01.359 --> 00:45:07.440
hot well like okay so but it's usually
like this story homely singer like

686
00:45:07.440 --> 00:45:10.560
was like i oh no no no i really think
they're attractive no people think

687
00:45:10.560 --> 00:45:14.960
they're attractive it's like okay but
but i do not like okay like people

688
00:45:14.960 --> 00:45:19.040
telling you you look like michael sarah
oh my god and that girl would not stop

689
00:45:19.040 --> 00:45:23.520
i'm like i think he's re i
i'm not saying he's ugly but i'm saying

690
00:45:23.520 --> 00:45:26.640
i i do not that is not how i want to
project myself to the world he's like no

691
00:45:26.640 --> 00:45:29.760
he's actually like really attractive
don't you know that i'm like stop please

692
00:45:29.760 --> 00:45:33.200
like i think michael sarah is very cute
yeah i also don't think you look like

693
00:45:33.200 --> 00:45:37.040
michael sarah thank you
thank you

694
00:45:37.040 --> 00:45:40.160
um
but but yeah like

695
00:45:40.160 --> 00:45:43.520
the comments that's what i was getting
at uh the comments are usually very nice

696
00:45:43.520 --> 00:45:46.640
but
i put out uh a youtube short which was

697
00:45:46.640 --> 00:45:51.119
just a little clip from the nintendo
video of me basically saying look side

698
00:45:51.119 --> 00:45:54.480
on is gay
um and link is queer too

699
00:45:54.480 --> 00:45:59.200
or not that none of that but it's okay
to read side on as queer yeah the

700
00:45:59.200 --> 00:46:01.760
comments
were so

701
00:46:01.760 --> 00:46:05.359
hateful and disgusting
for the first time ever i had to turn

702
00:46:05.359 --> 00:46:09.520
the comments off on a video
because the youtube shorts get out to a

703
00:46:09.520 --> 00:46:13.760
much wider audience than
than uh the normal videos because people

704
00:46:13.760 --> 00:46:16.720
are way more likely to click on
something that's 50 seconds than 50

705
00:46:16.720 --> 00:46:18.720
minutes
um

706
00:46:18.720 --> 00:46:22.000
and that's actually helped the nintendo
video a lot because a lot of people saw

707
00:46:22.000 --> 00:46:25.040
the short and then jumped over to the
full-length video which is good

708
00:46:25.040 --> 00:46:28.560
but um
so many people were just there saying

709
00:46:28.560 --> 00:46:33.359
the most disgusting things like not just
like homophobic stuff but just

710
00:46:33.359 --> 00:46:37.520
somehow dragging trans people into it
and

711
00:46:37.520 --> 00:46:41.680
like
just saying them like violent things

712
00:46:41.680 --> 00:46:43.359
like
like

713
00:46:43.359 --> 00:46:47.680
hitler was right and all of these things
and i was like

714
00:46:47.680 --> 00:46:52.960
christ almighty
and like it's fine to disagree with me

715
00:46:52.960 --> 00:46:57.440
and say like i actually don't think link
is queer that's fine but it's a queer

716
00:46:57.440 --> 00:46:59.760
reading
don't

717
00:46:59.760 --> 00:47:04.319
threaten with like deathcaps over it
comes some years like no i i don't think

718
00:47:04.319 --> 00:47:08.079
that said on has a queer reading it's
like okay what's your evidence

719
00:47:08.079 --> 00:47:12.079
provide evidence please because i've
provided evidence for you yeah like but

720
00:47:12.079 --> 00:47:15.599
like i'm fine with people having
different opinions on media it's when

721
00:47:15.599 --> 00:47:19.040
they start to say like

722
00:47:19.119 --> 00:47:24.559
like oh this is why the gays and the
transes are are attacking children and

723
00:47:24.559 --> 00:47:27.280
all this stuff it's like
what

724
00:47:27.280 --> 00:47:31.359
but yeah so that's that has been burning
me out way more than like video

725
00:47:31.359 --> 00:47:35.119
production because like i'm fine with
people saying like i think your video is

726
00:47:35.119 --> 00:47:38.960
ugly okay i don't think your video
sounds very good okay well i haven't

727
00:47:38.960 --> 00:47:43.200
been getting those lately because i have
a good microphone now yeah um but like

728
00:47:43.200 --> 00:47:47.760
things like that like i'm like you know
i take it in stride but it

729
00:47:47.760 --> 00:47:50.400
the
few and far between comments of like oh

730
00:47:50.400 --> 00:47:55.200
you're fat they bother me
but like you know again i've gotten that

731
00:47:55.200 --> 00:47:58.960
for so long that i just have to deal
with it and we're working on it

732
00:47:58.960 --> 00:48:01.839
yeah
that's why i was so sick yesterday

733
00:48:01.839 --> 00:48:06.240
because i'm on injections that are
supposed to limit your appetite but by l

734
00:48:06.240 --> 00:48:09.599
the way they limit your appetite is by
making you want to puke

735
00:48:09.599 --> 00:48:16.000
um you took too much off the bat yeah
you're supposed to go they go in 0.6

736
00:48:16.000 --> 00:48:20.400
increments up to 3 milligrams
and you started at the halfway point i

737
00:48:20.400 --> 00:48:25.280
started at 1.8 instead of 0.6 so that's
why i felt very sick yesterday yeah but

738
00:48:25.280 --> 00:48:27.760
anyway
um

739
00:48:27.760 --> 00:48:31.200
so um
what was i getting at yeah that's that's

740
00:48:31.200 --> 00:48:34.480
burning me out that's making me way more
exhausted with videos

741
00:48:34.480 --> 00:48:36.640
than
uh

742
00:48:36.640 --> 00:48:40.720
any of the actual production and writing
side of things like i as i'm editing

743
00:48:40.720 --> 00:48:44.480
this i'm super excited to write the
queer's folk video yeah and make the

744
00:48:44.480 --> 00:48:48.160
queers folk video i'm super excited to
do you know all these other things now

745
00:48:48.160 --> 00:48:50.880
you talked about like the comment
section for a large reason that's why i

746
00:48:50.880 --> 00:48:53.280
don't really interact with the comments
don't

747
00:48:53.280 --> 00:48:57.359
uh because i you know me i know your
mental health don't i

748
00:48:57.359 --> 00:49:01.280
might the way my mental health works is
i fixate on things yeah like i come to

749
00:49:01.280 --> 00:49:04.000
you and tell you the really nice ones
yeah the really nice ones sometimes you

750
00:49:04.000 --> 00:49:07.200
do let a bad one slip and like for hours
i'm just

751
00:49:07.200 --> 00:49:12.079
yeah a ball of like at some point we're
going to do a a podcast looking at some

752
00:49:12.079 --> 00:49:18.079
of the most crazy the crazy ones the fun
ones yeah they're fun um the crazy fun

753
00:49:18.079 --> 00:49:21.680
comments that we get on videos i'm going
to start keeping track of them because

754
00:49:21.680 --> 00:49:27.280
some of them are just hilarious yeah
um and like i i like and this is the

755
00:49:27.280 --> 00:49:29.839
thing about like you know with me and
burnout the more burnt out and

756
00:49:29.839 --> 00:49:32.880
overworked i am
the less of an ability i have to

757
00:49:32.880 --> 00:49:37.359
de-fixate on things yeah um like
you know what was the day i had the

758
00:49:37.359 --> 00:49:39.520
pillow out of my face for most of the
day

759
00:49:39.520 --> 00:49:42.880
except that's two days it wasn't
yesterday or two days ago um that was

760
00:49:42.880 --> 00:49:47.119
actually spurred the last
straw on the camel's back was actually a

761
00:49:47.119 --> 00:49:51.599
contraband tweet
um and honestly i could like like most

762
00:49:51.599 --> 00:49:55.680
of her tweets i could what did she do i
could barely make sense of it

763
00:49:55.680 --> 00:50:02.079
what i got i swear to god
original 16th century thomas hobbes was

764
00:50:02.079 --> 00:50:06.640
is easier to decipher than her than
contra points tweets um she really needs

765
00:50:06.640 --> 00:50:11.119
to just
use regular language she she started

766
00:50:11.119 --> 00:50:15.760
talking i think she was in majority
support of amber heard in the donnie

767
00:50:15.760 --> 00:50:19.440
depp's in the johnny depp case and she
was sort of

768
00:50:19.440 --> 00:50:24.240
talking about how the um
the they were both fighting argument is

769
00:50:24.240 --> 00:50:28.640
a bad faith argument and how that this
trial is bad for you know abuse

770
00:50:28.640 --> 00:50:32.640
survivors because johnny depp shouldn't
be doing that doing a trial

771
00:50:32.640 --> 00:50:36.160
taking her to court over this
um and

772
00:50:36.160 --> 00:50:39.359
how you know like people on youtube are
kind of like jumping on the this is a

773
00:50:39.359 --> 00:50:42.800
bandwagon that they're jumping onto
justice for johnny is like a bandwagon i

774
00:50:42.800 --> 00:50:47.599
think that's what she was saying
yeah um

775
00:50:47.920 --> 00:50:51.680
i got so
sad because you know some of the

776
00:50:51.680 --> 00:50:54.640
history
i've had it's like

777
00:50:54.640 --> 00:50:58.400
when you were in an abusive relationship
especially with someone who's a massive

778
00:50:58.400 --> 00:51:03.440
[ __ ] queen
they will manipulate you into doing

779
00:51:03.440 --> 00:51:07.760
a somewhat bad thing yeah
um that they can say you hurt my

780
00:51:07.760 --> 00:51:10.880
feelings
and then

781
00:51:10.880 --> 00:51:14.720
um
that justifies to them asking a whole

782
00:51:14.720 --> 00:51:19.200
lot from you yeah because you feel
guilty that you hurt them yeah

783
00:51:19.200 --> 00:51:24.160
um and so that makes you more toxic and
you start to do worse things and so like

784
00:51:24.160 --> 00:51:27.920
they keep baiting you into getting on
their level in terms of like fighting

785
00:51:27.920 --> 00:51:32.000
dirty like that yeah
and like

786
00:51:32.000 --> 00:51:35.920
i just got so discouraged like oh girl
you're supposed to see through this kind

787
00:51:35.920 --> 00:51:38.000
of stuff
yeah you are

788
00:51:38.000 --> 00:51:41.200
this is it's your job to think you're
supposed to think through this kind of

789
00:51:41.200 --> 00:51:44.880
stuff like yes believe not believe women
believe victims

790
00:51:44.880 --> 00:51:49.040
and if like and i mean it is a very
complicated situation with johnny and

791
00:51:49.040 --> 00:51:52.400
amber i don't want to get too far into
it oh yeah i'm just i'm just sort of

792
00:51:52.400 --> 00:51:55.599
saying like that was one of the things
that i saw it and i was just like i give

793
00:51:55.599 --> 00:51:59.040
up
yeah i can't do this anymore

794
00:51:59.040 --> 00:52:03.359
yeah and like
so like when you are burnt out little

795
00:52:03.359 --> 00:52:07.760
things just like
they just stick inside your head yeah

796
00:52:07.760 --> 00:52:11.280
and they can't get out and like you know
like i had uh for those who follow me on

797
00:52:11.280 --> 00:52:14.079
twitter like i've had a few tweets out
there being like i've lost complete

798
00:52:14.079 --> 00:52:18.319
interest in all media all the things i
used to i used to love i hate now i'm

799
00:52:18.319 --> 00:52:22.640
trying to beat him into like reading
like attack on titan or something it's

800
00:52:22.640 --> 00:52:29.280
happening don't worry i'm i'm i i think
that when i was in not actually beat him

801
00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:32.720
he says that
but you don't know what happens behind

802
00:52:32.720 --> 00:52:35.839
the closed door
um

803
00:52:35.839 --> 00:52:39.920
when i am like burnt out and super
depressed like that and i was pretty

804
00:52:39.920 --> 00:52:44.839
significantly depressed
uh maybe still am we'll see

805
00:52:44.839 --> 00:52:48.160
um uh

806
00:52:48.319 --> 00:52:52.240
like i don't know if i could have been
able to engage with any media and

807
00:52:52.240 --> 00:52:56.480
enjoyed it which is the thing when you
are depressed like and i i've learned

808
00:52:56.480 --> 00:52:59.119
that when i engage with when i have
engaged with media when i'm depressed i

809
00:52:59.119 --> 00:53:04.720
just end up hating it yeah and so like i
don't want to be filled with like hey i

810
00:53:04.720 --> 00:53:07.680
don't want to put hate into the world
and that's kind of how i've kind of read

811
00:53:07.680 --> 00:53:12.240
realigned my kind of life philosophy in
twitter too is like i do get negative

812
00:53:12.240 --> 00:53:15.280
thoughts
i'm a bit of a massive [ __ ]

813
00:53:15.280 --> 00:53:22.960
um a lot of the time i i'll own that
um but like i just don't want to

814
00:53:23.200 --> 00:53:26.800
i'm fine being a [ __ ] but i just don't
want to kind of just go on to twitter

815
00:53:26.800 --> 00:53:30.240
yeah i don't like this thing because
negativity i don't want to be that

816
00:53:30.240 --> 00:53:32.640
person i don't want to kind of put that
out there well yeah that's that's one of

817
00:53:32.640 --> 00:53:38.240
the things that i kind of other than
disney's dickery when it comes to

818
00:53:38.240 --> 00:53:40.800
media

819
00:53:41.119 --> 00:53:47.119
you will other than doctor strange too
yeah you will never see me on twitter

820
00:53:47.119 --> 00:53:51.200
saying
this piece of media

821
00:53:51.200 --> 00:53:55.599
that is you know benign like if it's
something that is like

822
00:53:55.599 --> 00:53:58.800
specifically homophobic or transphobic
or something like that i will call it

823
00:53:58.800 --> 00:54:03.359
out yeah but if it's just like i didn't
like this movie yeah i am not going to

824
00:54:03.359 --> 00:54:06.880
make a video about it and it's not that
i don't let myself have these negative

825
00:54:06.880 --> 00:54:09.839
thoughts it's like i keep it to myself
yeah like i've seen

826
00:54:09.839 --> 00:54:11.920
like
the

827
00:54:11.920 --> 00:54:16.720
the crimes of
secrets of dumbledore yeah um

828
00:54:16.720 --> 00:54:21.839
secret crimes of grindelward um
that

829
00:54:21.839 --> 00:54:24.960
i watched that and i was like oh i have
to talk about this [ __ ]

830
00:54:24.960 --> 00:54:28.480
like when it comes but like most of my
videos are like oh my god heartstopper

831
00:54:28.480 --> 00:54:31.839
is adorable you need to watch
heartstopper or oh my god luca is super

832
00:54:31.839 --> 00:54:35.839
adorable and i hate that they didn't go
far enough but it's super cute yeah um

833
00:54:35.839 --> 00:54:38.799
and like i said when it comes to like i
don't like putting negativity out there

834
00:54:38.799 --> 00:54:42.720
i like putting thought out there and
when there's an argument about like even

835
00:54:42.720 --> 00:54:46.160
killing stalking that video is not even
negative yeah that's me saying this

836
00:54:46.160 --> 00:54:49.760
comic is [ __ ] brilliant well yeah
like when i talk about like negativity i

837
00:54:49.760 --> 00:54:52.799
mean like you're like just kind of like
i don't like this is a little toxic i

838
00:54:52.799 --> 00:54:56.000
don't like this thing because of these
reasons okay yeah i don't like things

839
00:54:56.000 --> 00:54:58.960
people are led to have an opinion and if
people don't have that same opinion as

840
00:54:58.960 --> 00:55:02.960
me like i just don't there are sometimes
when i am kind of like deep in a spiral

841
00:55:02.960 --> 00:55:06.799
and it's like i hate superman so much
and then i kind of

842
00:55:06.799 --> 00:55:10.000
i kind of just
bitched to a friend of mine and this

843
00:55:10.000 --> 00:55:14.240
happened um a big long kind of rant
about why superheroman is the worst one

844
00:55:14.240 --> 00:55:18.240
like
no and i deleted most of the things i'm

845
00:55:18.240 --> 00:55:22.640
like i don't that's not me yeah like i i
this person likes superman i'm not

846
00:55:22.640 --> 00:55:25.839
trying to convince him i'm just trying
to vent and it's not fair for me to take

847
00:55:25.839 --> 00:55:28.720
it out on them i'm not going to take it
on twitter i have these negative

848
00:55:28.720 --> 00:55:31.599
feelings
when i am depressed it's more easy to

849
00:55:31.599 --> 00:55:34.319
[ __ ] kind of focus on them and kind of
not let them go but what i was saying is

850
00:55:34.319 --> 00:55:36.400
like
um

851
00:55:36.400 --> 00:55:41.200
i don't want to engage with media when i
am in a mental health spiral because i

852
00:55:41.200 --> 00:55:44.559
won't enjoy it and i will find reasons
to not enjoy it i'll find reasons to

853
00:55:44.559 --> 00:55:48.880
scapegoodas for why i'm not successful
the scapegoat myself is like i'm not as

854
00:55:48.880 --> 00:55:53.040
good an artist as this so it must suck
so i must suck everything sucks and so

855
00:55:53.040 --> 00:55:56.720
like
i can't enjoy things when i'm depressed

856
00:55:56.720 --> 00:55:59.359
like like things that i'm trying to
compete with and i don't like using

857
00:55:59.359 --> 00:56:02.559
compete because i think that when in
terms of media there's no amount of

858
00:56:02.559 --> 00:56:06.960
media that people won't consume so it's
not like yeah as far as like

859
00:56:06.960 --> 00:56:11.599
i don't think there is people will read
like 3 000 books a year like i'm not

860
00:56:11.599 --> 00:56:14.160
like you know like oh they're not going
to buy my book because they're too busy

861
00:56:14.160 --> 00:56:17.119
reading yeah like that's something that
i had for a really long time where i was

862
00:56:17.119 --> 00:56:20.960
like okay i can't put out my video on
around the same time as you know a

863
00:56:20.960 --> 00:56:24.799
philosophy tube video because then no
one's gonna watch mine it's like

864
00:56:24.799 --> 00:56:27.280
no
actually they will

865
00:56:27.280 --> 00:56:30.480
they just might not watch it until the
next day yeah but they're going to watch

866
00:56:30.480 --> 00:56:33.680
it because there's not a finite amount
of

867
00:56:33.680 --> 00:56:35.920
like
things

868
00:56:35.920 --> 00:56:39.280
and it's something that like lots of
people who are subscribed to me on

869
00:56:39.280 --> 00:56:42.480
youtube they watch my video a couple of
months after it comes out and it's not

870
00:56:42.480 --> 00:56:45.440
because they were like oh i don't want
to watch it it's just they didn't have

871
00:56:45.440 --> 00:56:49.839
time to get to it yeah and that's fine
um

872
00:56:49.839 --> 00:56:53.440
but when i but i am negative and what i
am spiraling and i am overworked and

873
00:56:53.440 --> 00:56:58.400
like um what sort of burnout that's the
topic uh when i am burnt out like when i

874
00:56:58.400 --> 00:57:01.599
watch something even if it's something
that i'd rather otherwise like it'll be

875
00:57:01.599 --> 00:57:05.359
tainted because they'll be focusing on
the negative things yeah and so that's

876
00:57:05.359 --> 00:57:08.960
why like a lot of people are are in the
comments on the wanda video saying

877
00:57:08.960 --> 00:57:12.720
please please make a video about doctor
strange too because i need to hear how

878
00:57:12.720 --> 00:57:15.440
much you hate it i'm like i don't want
to

879
00:57:15.440 --> 00:57:18.640
i don't want to make a video about how
much i hate something yeah because hey

880
00:57:18.640 --> 00:57:22.240
honestly when it comes to burnout hating
stuff is exhausting yeah it is

881
00:57:22.240 --> 00:57:26.000
exhausting to hate things i would much
rather make a video saying you need to

882
00:57:26.000 --> 00:57:29.440
watch our flags mean death yeah and
that's why like our flag means death our

883
00:57:29.440 --> 00:57:33.760
[ __ ] mean death um
language

884
00:57:33.760 --> 00:57:37.920
um we mean cigarettes the the bundles of
wood that burned us at the stake those

885
00:57:37.920 --> 00:57:43.680
were literally um
but no like it is so exhausting to hate

886
00:57:43.680 --> 00:57:46.799
something to hold especially if you're
like working on a several week-long

887
00:57:46.799 --> 00:57:50.799
project about how much you hate
something yeah um

888
00:57:50.799 --> 00:57:54.880
it was easy for crimes of grindelwald
because like i wrote that in a day

889
00:57:54.880 --> 00:57:58.000
yeah
but like

890
00:57:58.000 --> 00:58:01.200
oh and this is what bothers me about a
lot of the a lot of feedback we get

891
00:58:01.200 --> 00:58:04.640
about the stuff we cover is like oh my
god you talked about this then you must

892
00:58:04.640 --> 00:58:08.559
hate us like no we say like five times
that this is a good media yeah but like

893
00:58:08.559 --> 00:58:12.559
young young royal is an example of that
it's like no this was good media it's

894
00:58:12.559 --> 00:58:17.680
just it's there are things to talk no a
no piece of media in the entire world

895
00:58:17.680 --> 00:58:21.359
history of the world is beyond reproach
there is a criticism you can make about

896
00:58:21.359 --> 00:58:24.240
everything because it was made by a
human being which itself is or our

897
00:58:24.240 --> 00:58:28.480
committee which itself makes it
imperfect yeah um

898
00:58:28.480 --> 00:58:32.079
no piece of media is imperfect every
piece of media is going to portray a

899
00:58:32.079 --> 00:58:36.799
bias a cultural bias a personality bias
that the artist has

900
00:58:36.799 --> 00:58:40.400
uh that's a consequence of artists and
two

901
00:58:40.400 --> 00:58:44.400
there
a good piece of media can rely can lean

902
00:58:44.400 --> 00:58:50.240
on something a trope a narrative device
a piece of symbolism that points towards

903
00:58:50.240 --> 00:58:53.920
a larger social context in society and
just because we're criticizing that

904
00:58:53.920 --> 00:58:57.440
social context does not mean the piece
of media is bad

905
00:58:57.440 --> 00:59:00.799
and so like and that's kind of our
philosophy is like we don't make stuff

906
00:59:00.799 --> 00:59:04.400
media about stuff that we hate if it's a
p if it's if we're making a video about

907
00:59:04.400 --> 00:59:07.520
it at least one of us is a huge fan of
it

908
00:59:07.520 --> 00:59:12.000
not necessarily what do you mean uh well
like sometimes we will like the crimes

909
00:59:12.000 --> 00:59:16.880
of grindelwald no oh yeah
secrets of dumbledore yeah uh video the

910
00:59:16.880 --> 00:59:21.359
recent um
the recent disney video about how just

911
00:59:21.359 --> 00:59:24.480
hateful disney has become so very
quickly well yeah but like those are

912
00:59:24.480 --> 00:59:28.720
short things we don't make big projects
or longer projects disney video was long

913
00:59:28.720 --> 00:59:31.760
which this new video is that the most
recent one that was only like half an

914
00:59:31.760 --> 00:59:35.839
hour long well that's still long we
wrote it in like a day well yeah it was

915
00:59:35.839 --> 00:59:41.680
it was written shot and edited and
published in a day within 24 hours um

916
00:59:41.680 --> 00:59:45.440
but like that's what i mean is like
you know they're not necessarily short

917
00:59:45.440 --> 00:59:48.559
things but we do them quickly yeah and
kind of get it out of our system and

918
00:59:48.559 --> 00:59:52.640
yeah that's because i can't admire
myself in something that is negative

919
00:59:52.640 --> 00:59:56.000
that is so talks and my kind of argument
against bigotry is that i don't

920
00:59:56.000 --> 01:00:00.000
understand why you would want
to hold on to these you know negative

921
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.200
cultural stereotypes because it takes
way more energy

922
01:00:03.200 --> 01:00:06.400
to hate something than it does to not
care yeah like literally right now the

923
01:00:06.400 --> 01:00:08.960
video that we're working on that i'm
editing

924
01:00:08.960 --> 01:00:13.520
um the camp video
even though it is

925
01:00:13.520 --> 01:00:17.440
as of right now two and a half hours
long

926
01:00:18.799 --> 01:00:22.319
i love it i love working on it because
every one of these are one of my

927
01:00:22.319 --> 01:00:25.200
favorite movies oh yeah like honestly
i'm like oh my god i can't wait to get

928
01:00:25.200 --> 01:00:29.520
to death becomes her i was so anxious
writing it because i was writing a lot

929
01:00:29.520 --> 01:00:33.119
yeah like it was really long and it was
because i just had so much to say about

930
01:00:33.119 --> 01:00:36.480
these things yeah cause these are good
movies that i really like like there are

931
01:00:36.480 --> 01:00:42.000
no no no movie on this list
is something that i don't enjoy yeah um

932
01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:46.240
and so like i love even though this is a
long video i love it this is not the

933
01:00:46.240 --> 01:00:50.400
holocaust video or the queer panic video
where it was just horrible getting

934
01:00:50.400 --> 01:00:54.240
through it because it was so miserable
and that's what like i put out the poll

935
01:00:54.240 --> 01:00:59.599
on patreon last week i think about like
do we have to do the supernatural video

936
01:00:59.599 --> 01:01:04.880
um
and you know so so many people were like

937
01:01:04.880 --> 01:01:08.079
most of the reactions were like i really
want you to do it because i want to know

938
01:01:08.079 --> 01:01:11.200
your opinion but if you haven't watched
it yet

939
01:01:11.200 --> 01:01:15.839
i can't
i can't in any faith ask you to watch

940
01:01:15.839 --> 01:01:20.079
you know 15 seasons of a show it was a
lot of seasons one might even say season

941
01:01:20.079 --> 01:01:23.359
and ending yeah
um

942
01:01:23.359 --> 01:01:26.559
and
so you know something else will replace

943
01:01:26.559 --> 01:01:30.000
it for the december special the special
december video i don't know because like

944
01:01:30.000 --> 01:01:33.920
the series kind of just devolved into
like having oh right it's the gay spaces

945
01:01:33.920 --> 01:01:36.880
that's that's the thing which is about
how we're family and we have to stick

946
01:01:36.880 --> 01:01:40.720
together because we're family
and that time that there was okay this

947
01:01:40.720 --> 01:01:43.440
is hilarious because there's an episode
in supernatural where they're they're

948
01:01:43.440 --> 01:01:46.960
chasing a siren
uh a siren who can shape-shift into the

949
01:01:46.960 --> 01:01:50.880
object of someone else's desire in order
to manipulate them

950
01:01:50.880 --> 01:01:55.680
the siren changes into one of the
brothers to manipulate the other one

951
01:02:01.599 --> 01:02:05.280
yep that happened that was before
castiel even was what was the cat was

952
01:02:05.280 --> 01:02:08.640
part of the was part of the cast

953
01:02:08.700 --> 01:02:15.920
[Laughter]
maybe i do need to talk about it

954
01:02:15.920 --> 01:02:19.119
just broke james
so yeah like what we were saying about

955
01:02:19.119 --> 01:02:23.280
like you you wanted to put out like a
call to the patrons uh to see fans of

956
01:02:23.280 --> 01:02:27.280
the show to kind of get a sense of like
where to focus like what seasons to kind

957
01:02:27.280 --> 01:02:30.480
of focus on because each season is like
20 something episodes long

958
01:02:30.480 --> 01:02:34.240
that's the other thing is it's not like
10 episode seasons it's not like an hbo

959
01:02:34.240 --> 01:02:38.079
show they're like 20 some episodes long
and they're all like hour-long episodes

960
01:02:38.079 --> 01:02:43.119
but yeah according to the vote i i i
think it was close but it ended up being

961
01:02:43.119 --> 01:02:47.280
um
the the loss of gay spaces

962
01:02:47.280 --> 01:02:51.520
um which i'd actually like to do as kind
of a documentary like actually talk to

963
01:02:51.520 --> 01:02:54.799
some gay bar owners and stuff like that
and community center organizers

964
01:02:54.799 --> 01:02:57.440
especially because like you know we're
in a community that is much smaller

965
01:02:57.440 --> 01:03:03.520
which would be much more affected by a
decrease in volume the loss of

966
01:03:03.520 --> 01:03:07.280
patronage loss of patronage and so like
that kind of stuff like i'm really

967
01:03:07.280 --> 01:03:11.119
excited to do that and that's why like i
don't feel burnout from the youtube

968
01:03:11.119 --> 01:03:14.559
stuff from the telo stuff the
organization of the telo stuff the

969
01:03:14.559 --> 01:03:16.880
pre-production not even the
pre-production i'm excited for the

970
01:03:16.880 --> 01:03:21.839
pre-production it's the
the the organizing stuff that usually on

971
01:03:21.839 --> 01:03:25.920
a bigger
uh feature would be put together by a

972
01:03:25.920 --> 01:03:30.640
producer
um we do not have a producer no

973
01:03:30.640 --> 01:03:35.359
um i wish i had the money to hire one uh
so like but when it comes to me like i

974
01:03:35.359 --> 01:03:39.680
don't dislike right just writing essays
like i was doing i was a semi-successful

975
01:03:39.680 --> 01:03:43.440
blogger for a while
um but for me it was just the sheer

976
01:03:43.440 --> 01:03:47.280
volume the constant promise of after the
next video i get a break and that not

977
01:03:47.280 --> 01:03:51.440
happening yeah um the consistent work
every day i didn't get weekend i didn't

978
01:03:51.440 --> 01:03:55.839
get weekend for a lot of weeks i did not
get the weekend um i didn't get weekends

979
01:03:55.839 --> 01:04:00.480
for a lot of weeks you're making me
sound like a slave driver here um

980
01:04:00.480 --> 01:04:05.200
honestly i was doing it to myself uh i
was berating him to be like it's

981
01:04:05.200 --> 01:04:09.200
saturday and sunday stop but i was like
i'm not gonna be able to hit the

982
01:04:09.200 --> 01:04:13.520
deadline unless i work through this
weekend and like sometimes i would just

983
01:04:13.520 --> 01:04:17.520
work literally all day i would not do
anything that wasn't writing like we'd

984
01:04:17.520 --> 01:04:20.319
go out for groceries for like an hour or
two but then back here back at the

985
01:04:20.319 --> 01:04:24.960
keyboard yeah um
and it was on top of that

986
01:04:24.960 --> 01:04:29.680
that i had this massive guilt for not
working on my other projects yeah by

987
01:04:29.680 --> 01:04:34.880
fictional projects i felt like i'm like
i'm going to lose what readers i do have

988
01:04:34.880 --> 01:04:38.960
i'm going to not be able to kind of
establish myself in a way that

989
01:04:38.960 --> 01:04:41.839
is going to be able to set this up as a
career that i can write fiction as a

990
01:04:41.839 --> 01:04:45.359
career uh and then you just spiral from
there and it's like this is gonna be my

991
01:04:45.359 --> 01:04:50.240
life forever like
which i much preferred it

992
01:04:50.240 --> 01:04:55.359
when videos uh a lot permitted for some
time off

993
01:04:55.359 --> 01:05:00.160
which is the plan going forward
kind of yeah i mean when videos allotted

994
01:05:00.160 --> 01:05:04.079
for time off you were also getting paid
a whole lot less that's true

995
01:05:04.079 --> 01:05:08.480
but like i don't really necessarily see
the workload as being that more that

996
01:05:08.480 --> 01:05:11.920
much more significant doing a full video
in one pocket game a month like you know

997
01:05:11.920 --> 01:05:14.319
because especially the pocket games are
something that you're going to do the

998
01:05:14.319 --> 01:05:17.280
majority of and i'm kind of going to
slip in to see if there's anything i can

999
01:05:17.280 --> 01:05:20.640
insert yeah like i don't think for the
queer folk video for instance i don't

1000
01:05:20.640 --> 01:05:23.039
think there's anything you can add to
that sure there's a few things i could

1001
01:05:23.039 --> 01:05:25.839
add to that especially
you're only surprised about the things i

1002
01:05:25.839 --> 01:05:29.039
can add to a video yeah but i think i'll
be putting that out well you're not even

1003
01:05:29.039 --> 01:05:32.640
here that's true so
um if you want to you can put it in a

1004
01:05:32.640 --> 01:05:36.799
google doc and i can take a look at it
while i'm on here yeah but um

1005
01:05:36.799 --> 01:05:40.319
yeah there's
it's weird because like i said i don't

1006
01:05:40.319 --> 01:05:44.400
feel the burnout from youtube i feel the
burnout from the the little things

1007
01:05:44.400 --> 01:05:50.079
around it like
if telos had a full-time producer on

1008
01:05:50.079 --> 01:05:51.640
staff
um

1009
01:05:51.640 --> 01:05:54.400
[Music]
i would feel

1010
01:05:54.400 --> 01:05:57.680
i don't think any burnout at all
um

1011
01:05:57.680 --> 01:06:00.480
because i am
doing

1012
01:06:00.480 --> 01:06:04.640
something that i love doing
um

1013
01:06:04.640 --> 01:06:07.520
and
i'm just so grateful and thankful that i

1014
01:06:07.520 --> 01:06:12.400
get to do this thing that i've wanted to
do since forever yeah um

1015
01:06:12.400 --> 01:06:16.160
that there maybe there's burnout like
down the line at some point where i'll

1016
01:06:16.160 --> 01:06:19.119
be like i gotta take a month off yeah
something like that that's why i've been

1017
01:06:19.119 --> 01:06:23.440
trying like i said i'm trying to sort of
pressure you to realize that if you need

1018
01:06:23.440 --> 01:06:26.880
to take a month off i don't think your
patrons or your

1019
01:06:26.880 --> 01:06:29.599
subscribers are going to really hold it
against you

1020
01:06:29.599 --> 01:06:34.960
no and and like the thing is like
i'm not there yet yeah and i don't think

1021
01:06:34.960 --> 01:06:38.480
i'll be there especially because contra
point's point promised her new video

1022
01:06:38.480 --> 01:06:41.839
weeks ago
i mean

1023
01:06:41.839 --> 01:06:46.480
months ago dear months ago but she said
optimistically a few weeks ago that it

1024
01:06:46.480 --> 01:06:51.839
would be coming out soon
well i i i laughed at her

1025
01:06:51.839 --> 01:06:57.039
tweet a couple of days ago it was
i'm working on the video i'm almost done

1026
01:06:57.039 --> 01:07:01.839
it will either be out this weekend or i
don't [ __ ] know

1027
01:07:02.160 --> 01:07:06.400
and it wasn't out this weekend
tweets are like that and not like the

1028
01:07:06.400 --> 01:07:11.680
other way the cryptic ones that she
deletes 10 minutes later yeah um

1029
01:07:11.680 --> 01:07:16.000
but yeah um
so uh to cap off how do you deal with

1030
01:07:16.000 --> 01:07:19.839
stress relief burnout
me yeah

1031
01:07:19.839 --> 01:07:22.160
um

1032
01:07:24.720 --> 01:07:29.200
built building building things with lego
with lego and minecraft

1033
01:07:29.200 --> 01:07:33.760
like where i for a couple of days there
something that has

1034
01:07:33.760 --> 01:07:38.079
been bearing down on me lately that i
haven't been talking about a whole lot

1035
01:07:38.079 --> 01:07:40.480
definitely not on streams and stuff but
i haven't even really talked to you a

1036
01:07:40.480 --> 01:07:45.039
whole lot about it is the fact that my
mom is gone is starting to actually hit

1037
01:07:45.039 --> 01:07:47.760
yeah you have talked a bit about me with
me

1038
01:07:47.760 --> 01:07:51.680
i haven't told you all the time
i know i know oh i imagine it happens

1039
01:07:51.680 --> 01:07:56.559
more than you say cause like the night
my mom died obviously i cried i was a

1040
01:07:56.559 --> 01:07:59.599
mess like the next day my whole face was
sore

1041
01:07:59.599 --> 01:08:03.280
um
but i hadn't really cried since then

1042
01:08:03.280 --> 01:08:07.119
because i had so much to do
i had to make sure stuff was taken care

1043
01:08:07.119 --> 01:08:10.400
of with my dad with youtube stuff the
insurance stuff

1044
01:08:10.400 --> 01:08:15.440
and now the insurance stuff never got
figured out because rbc insurance

1045
01:08:15.440 --> 01:08:19.279
[ __ ] us over
yeah um

1046
01:08:19.279 --> 01:08:22.799
uh but like on the technical
technicality that we didn't even think

1047
01:08:22.799 --> 01:08:28.159
they were such a [ __ ] anyway um make
a [ __ ] video about them

1048
01:08:28.159 --> 01:08:33.199
but um
not saying you shouldn't but like

1049
01:08:33.199 --> 01:08:36.799
i'm now at a point where okay i've i've
given my dad some money

1050
01:08:36.799 --> 01:08:40.159
where he's taken care of for a while
um

1051
01:08:40.159 --> 01:08:44.159
you know with
amazing patrons it's it's really kind of

1052
01:08:44.159 --> 01:08:47.279
lifted the load of youtube a bit
um

1053
01:08:47.279 --> 01:08:50.400
telos is working out and that's one of
the things that mom really wanted like

1054
01:08:50.400 --> 01:08:54.400
she wanted me to have that insurance
money so i could start making movies

1055
01:08:54.400 --> 01:08:58.880
um
and so because these

1056
01:08:58.880 --> 01:09:03.359
stresses have been lifted
it's finally hitting me that my mom's

1057
01:09:03.359 --> 01:09:05.920
gone
and like for instance seeing something

1058
01:09:05.920 --> 01:09:08.719
on the internet i'm like oh my god i
have to call mom and tell her and then

1059
01:09:08.719 --> 01:09:12.319
literally picking up my phone and
realizing oh her phone is in my desk

1060
01:09:12.319 --> 01:09:16.319
that you um yeah yeah and stuff like
that so like that

1061
01:09:16.319 --> 01:09:19.199
has been
hitting me but that's not burnout that's

1062
01:09:19.199 --> 01:09:24.239
just like that's regular grieving that's
that's the additional thing that's

1063
01:09:24.239 --> 01:09:28.000
that's been layered on
um

1064
01:09:28.000 --> 01:09:32.880
but yeah how i deal with like
uh

1065
01:09:32.960 --> 01:09:37.920
stress and stuff like that is
buying lego and putting it together

1066
01:09:37.920 --> 01:09:42.000
um like i have for when you're gone i
have some lego coming that i'm gonna put

1067
01:09:42.000 --> 01:09:45.279
together and like listen to some
podcasts and just kind of chill

1068
01:09:45.279 --> 01:09:49.600
um we need more places to put any more
shelves

1069
01:09:49.600 --> 01:09:53.839
uh we are running out of apartment
i think we gotta buy some mountable

1070
01:09:53.839 --> 01:09:56.719
shelves
uh yeah all of the walls are just gonna

1071
01:09:56.719 --> 01:10:00.880
be decorated with
yeah but um should probably start

1072
01:10:00.880 --> 01:10:05.440
donating old sets to like like after
watching attack on titan i was like i

1073
01:10:05.440 --> 01:10:09.920
want to build parody
and so like i went in i started building

1074
01:10:09.920 --> 01:10:13.920
this giant walled city
um

1075
01:10:13.920 --> 01:10:18.400
and it's not the three wall layer
because that's it it might end up being

1076
01:10:18.400 --> 01:10:21.920
three layers it's honestly like right
now i struggle with minecraft because

1077
01:10:21.920 --> 01:10:24.800
like i'm like i could get into minecraft
again i'm like oh great there's a

1078
01:10:24.800 --> 01:10:28.960
massive update coming in a few months i
can't get invested in things because

1079
01:10:28.960 --> 01:10:32.080
then the world's going to shift and then
to get to knew the updates in order to

1080
01:10:32.080 --> 01:10:35.280
get the new biomes and stuff i'm gonna
have to travel like thousands of blocks

1081
01:10:35.280 --> 01:10:39.199
away so that's like an ocd thing i don't
really care about that yeah i'm very ocd

1082
01:10:39.199 --> 01:10:41.840
which is why i struggle with minecraft
um

1083
01:10:41.840 --> 01:10:45.280
but yeah that's that and lego are really
my kind of escape

1084
01:10:45.280 --> 01:10:49.360
because like even playing like narrative
video games i haven't been into any

1085
01:10:49.360 --> 01:10:54.239
narrative video games or anything um
once in a while i'll get to dive into

1086
01:10:54.239 --> 01:10:57.120
something like attack on titan
um

1087
01:10:57.120 --> 01:11:02.000
i've owned screen for on blu-ray for
weeks now i haven't watched it yet

1088
01:11:02.000 --> 01:11:05.840
um
that's that's a reward i have set aside

1089
01:11:05.840 --> 01:11:08.960
for when i finish this video i'm gonna
watch stream four

1090
01:11:08.960 --> 01:11:12.640
um
but yeah how do you how do you deal with

1091
01:11:12.640 --> 01:11:14.960
stress

1092
01:11:16.000 --> 01:11:18.239
um

1093
01:11:18.400 --> 01:11:23.360
i think the last year broke me and i
like i said i kind of had that breakdown

1094
01:11:23.360 --> 01:11:26.080
not a mini breakdown a while ago i was
talking about like all of the things

1095
01:11:26.080 --> 01:11:29.840
that i kind of built myself around
enjoying i don't enjoy anymore like

1096
01:11:29.840 --> 01:11:32.960
comic books comic books maybe we should
talk about that

1097
01:11:32.960 --> 01:11:36.159
about what
that in a podcast yeah that could be the

1098
01:11:36.159 --> 01:11:40.400
next one yeah
but like you know like and so like a lot

1099
01:11:40.400 --> 01:11:43.679
of the things that i used to that used
to give me joy that used to look excited

1100
01:11:43.679 --> 01:11:48.960
towards
i i know i i've muted yeah on twitter i

1101
01:11:48.960 --> 01:11:52.640
can't look at it because it just reminds
me of when i was happier with these

1102
01:11:52.640 --> 01:11:57.600
things yeah um and i'm in a period of my
life where i am

1103
01:11:57.600 --> 01:12:00.960
i need to start finding new things i
need to start changing my life i need to

1104
01:12:00.960 --> 01:12:04.239
start doing new things to kind of
give me that sense of enjoyment and

1105
01:12:04.239 --> 01:12:08.880
fulfillment yeah um on top of writing
fiction uh that i generally do

1106
01:12:08.880 --> 01:12:12.800
genuinely do find that that uh
fulfilling and de-stressing but like i

1107
01:12:12.800 --> 01:12:16.719
can't do it if i'm working too much
because it is in itself it takes energy

1108
01:12:16.719 --> 01:12:20.000
yeah absolutely that's why i kind of
said like i'm i'm giving you two months

1109
01:12:20.000 --> 01:12:23.520
off so that you can that'll give me time
to sort of recover and sort of get back

1110
01:12:23.520 --> 01:12:26.719
into working on these stories we need to
have a skype call so i can go over some

1111
01:12:26.719 --> 01:12:31.520
plot stuff with you anyway so like i
play video games my mindless video games

1112
01:12:31.520 --> 01:12:37.280
farming games warframes warframe
um i tried playing the miles morales

1113
01:12:37.280 --> 01:12:40.000
spider-man game i was like nope can't do
it

1114
01:12:40.000 --> 01:12:43.760
no um
i put out a tweet about how i'm really

1115
01:12:43.760 --> 01:12:48.239
really starting to hate
ex needlessly intelligent characters

1116
01:12:48.239 --> 01:12:51.920
oh characters who have like that genius
level but at the same time are super

1117
01:12:51.920 --> 01:12:55.920
agile and have superpowers and they're
super strong and it's like that no dm

1118
01:12:55.920 --> 01:12:59.120
would never let you max your strength
dexterity and intelligence at the same

1119
01:12:59.120 --> 01:13:02.400
time okay
no no no it doesn't matter if you take

1120
01:13:02.400 --> 01:13:05.600
losses and charisma and wisdom
okay

1121
01:13:05.600 --> 01:13:10.400
your kryptonite cannot be talking to
girls um

1122
01:13:10.400 --> 01:13:14.000
okay
so like i am i'm trying to

1123
01:13:14.000 --> 01:13:19.199
set myself up in a life where i can
do more things to kind of de-stress i'm

1124
01:13:19.199 --> 01:13:24.560
feeling very isolated socially
so like i'm hoping that can maybe help a

1125
01:13:24.560 --> 01:13:28.640
bit more i don't know things i i've been
changing a lot since especially since i

1126
01:13:28.640 --> 01:13:33.440
hit 29 yeah um and i've stayed at 29 for
the last two years imagine that

1127
01:13:33.440 --> 01:13:37.360
um
i've been 31 for the last two years yeah

1128
01:13:37.360 --> 01:13:41.520
yeah
crazy so i'm i'm really just trying to

1129
01:13:41.520 --> 01:13:44.640
i can never remember how old i am figure
out

1130
01:13:44.640 --> 01:13:50.400
how to get these things that will help
me de-stress without me focusing on why

1131
01:13:50.400 --> 01:13:53.920
i hate them for what about that makes me
hate it

1132
01:13:53.920 --> 01:13:58.840
so to close out the podcast let's ask
the padreons yes

1133
01:13:58.840 --> 01:14:02.960
ideas what uh what do you do to
de-stress

1134
01:14:02.960 --> 01:14:05.600
and
is there anything you could recommend

1135
01:14:05.600 --> 01:14:10.880
for us for de-stressing i i'm serious
because like a lot of people have like

1136
01:14:10.880 --> 01:14:13.760
things that you
ways to de-stress that you would never

1137
01:14:13.760 --> 01:14:18.080
think of and it's kind of like
huh

1138
01:14:18.080 --> 01:14:21.280
like the other night i thought like i
have some money why don't i get a

1139
01:14:21.280 --> 01:14:25.280
[ __ ] massage yeah because i have so
many like back problems right now and

1140
01:14:25.280 --> 01:14:27.679
i'm so tense you know what i'd love to
start doing

1141
01:14:27.679 --> 01:14:32.640
going for hikes
go for it i'd need to borrow your car

1142
01:14:32.640 --> 01:14:37.679
no
if you want to hike walk there

1143
01:14:38.080 --> 01:14:42.719
okay everyone uh this has been this
week's episode of the padreon and next

1144
01:14:42.719 --> 01:14:47.199
week we'll be talking about things that
make us happy and why we hate that they

1145
01:14:47.199 --> 01:14:49.840
don't anymore
all right thank you so much for

1146
01:14:49.840 --> 01:14:55.430
listening my name is james i'm nick
and we'll be back next week

1147
01:14:55.430 --> 01:15:04.449
[Music]