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The First Book of the American Chronicles of the Times
John Leacock
typed by Duane from Carla Mulford hard copy


And behold! when the tidings came to the great city that is afar off, the city that is in the land of Britain, how the men of Boston, even the Bostonites, had arose, a great multitude, and destroyed the TEA, the abominable merchandise of the east, and cast it into the midst of the sea.

  1. That the Lord the King waxed exceeding wroth, insomuch that the form of his visage was changed, and his knees smote one against the other.

  2. Then he assembled together the Princes, the Nobles, the Counsellors, the Judges, and all the Rulers of the people, even the great Sanhedrim, and when he had told them what things were come to pass,

  3. They smote their breasts and said, These men fear thee not, O King, neither have they obeyed the voice of our Lord the King, nor worshipped the TEA CHEST, which thou hast set up, whose length was three cubits, and the breadth thereof one cubit and an half.

  4. Now therefore make a decree that their harbours be blocked up, and their ports shut, that their merchants may be broke, and their multitudes perish, and there may be no more the voice of merchandize heard in the land, that their ships, that goeth upon the waters, may be sunk in the depths thereof, and their mariners dwindle away to nought, that their cods and their oil may stink, and the whale, the great Leviathan, may be no more troubled, for that they have rebelled against thee.

  5. And it came to pass that the King hearkened unto the voice, unto the voice of these sons of Belial.

  6. Then arose Mordecai, the Benjamite, who was fourscore and five years old, an aged man whom the Lord loved, a wise man, a soothsayer, an astrologer, in whom was wisdom from above, and he said unto the King, I pray thee, O King, let thy servant speak,

  7. And the King commanded that he should speak.

  8. Then Mordecai spake aloud, in the presence of all the Princes, the Nobles, the Counsellors, the Judges, and all the Rulers of the people, and said, O King, live for ever.

  9. Thy throne, O King, is encompassed about with lies, and thy servants, the Bernardites and the Hutchinsonians, are full of deceit, for be it known unto thee, O King, they hide the truth from thee, and wrongfully accuse the men of Boston, for behold, these letters in mine hand witnesseth sore against them, O King, if thou art wise, thou wilt understand these things.

  10. And there was present one of the King's Counsellors, a Jacobite, a vagabond, a Wedderburnite, and he used foul language, and said unto Mordecai, Thou liest; and Mordecai answered, and said unto him, God will smite thee, thou whited wall, and Mordecai departed from amongst them.

  11. And behold the Princes, the Nobles, the Counsellors, the Judges, and all the Rulers of the people, cried out vehemently against Mordecai, for they were in fear because of Mordecai's wisdom.

  12. And they besought the King that he would take from Mordecai his post, for he was in high honour before that time.

  13. So they prevailed on the King, and he took from Mordecai his post, and all that he had, and Mordecai was persecuted yet more and more, but he bore it patiently, for Job was his grandfather's great grandfather; moreover, he knew the times must alter, and the King's eyes would be opened anon.

  14. Now in the Seventh Month, in the fourteenth day of the month, the Lord the King commanded Thomas, the Captain of the Gageites, saying,

  15. Choose thou the valiant men of Britain, by hundreds and by thousands, and get ye together the ships, even the ships of war, the terror of the nations round about, and make your way towards the coasts of the Americanites, the land of the Bostonites, that lieth on the other side the great sea westwards, and cut off all that pisseth against the wall, and utterly destroy all their cities with fire and with sword, for they have rebelled against me.

  16. Howbeit, the men of Boston had intelligence thereof, for they kept their spies abroad, from the east to the west and from the north to the south; and when the tidings came of these things, they rent their clothes, and fasted, put on sackcloth, and went softly.

  17. And the Bostonites, the men of New-England, spake unto Jedediah the scribe, that he would bring the book of the law of their fathers, which the Lord had commanded they should obey.

  18. Then Jedediah, the priest, brought the book of the law before the congregation, both of men and women that could understand it.

  19. And he read therein, in the street that was before the Water-gate, and in the Market-place, and at the entry of the Fish-gate, and in the Old south, from the morning until the midday, and from the midday until the evening.

  20. For Jedediah the priest had understanding of the times to know what the Americanites ought to do, and what they ought not to do, and all his brethren were at his commandment.

  21. And the ears of all the people hearkened unto the book of the law, and entered into a solemn league and covenant, that they would obey the book of the law, and none other, both the priests and the Levites.

  22. And behold, when Thomas, the Gageite, was come unto the land of the Bostonites, he threatened them sore, and swore by the life of Pharoah, insomuch that some of the old women and children lifted up their voices, and wept exceedingly with bitter lamentations.

  23. And it came to pass that the New-Yorkites, the Philadelphites, the Marylandites, the Virginites, the Carolinites, took pity on their brethren the Bostonites, for there was like to be a famine in the land.

  24. And they got ready their camels and their asses, their mules and their oxen, and laded with their meat, their fine wheaten flour, their rice, their corn, their beeves and their sheep, and their figs and their raisins, and their wine and their oil, and their tobacco abundantly, and six thousand shekels of silver, and threescore talents of gold, and sent them, by the hands of the Levites, to their brethren, and there was joy in the land.

  25. Now this same Thomas, a Heathen, put forth a mock proclamation for the encouragement of piety,

  26. Then Jedediah the priest, and Obadiah, and Ezekiel, and Nonathan the son of Ebenezer, stood up and said, Men and brethren (the Lord knoweth our hearts, and that we fear the Lord) ye have seen how this Heathen maketh a mock of holy things, and profaneth the GOD of our fathers, this man is like unto a Pharisee, he prayeth with his windows open, and a two edged sword at our throats. Moreover, he defileth the sabbath, in that he traineth his men on the Lord's day, and have ye not seen with your eyes how he stoppeth the way said, that the congregation may not pass, and how that he putteth the yoke of cannon upon the neck of the Bostonites, and the people marvelled and said, Fye upon thee, Thomas! fye upon thee, Thomas! the Lord will avenge himself of such abominations.

  27. Now be of good comfort, let us send messengers into all the coats of our brethren, the Americanites, peradventure they will commune with us, for we be one people, and serve one GOD: If so be they hear us, the Lord is on our side; but if they refuse to hearken to us, they and we be slaves to the Gageites, and our substance and all that we have taken from us, and we be their hewers of wood and drawers of water.

  28. And all the people shouted, and said with one voice, Send and commune with our brethren.

  29. Now it came to pass that their brethren listened unto them, and they sent messengers backwards and forwards throughout the land, from the east unto the west, and from the north unto the south, even unto the sea coast of the Georgeites.

  30. And they assembled themselves together, in a congress in the great city of Philadelphia, in the house of the carpenters, the builders house, in the land of Pennsylvania, on the seventh day of the Ninth Month, with their coaches, their chariots, their camels, their horsemen, and their servants, a great multitude, and they communed together.

  31. And behold, while they thus communed, certain Torykites, false prophets and friends to the Gageites, said, Let us distract their counsels, and set at nought their congress, we will cause a lying spirit to go throughout their land, that the great city of the Bostonites is burned to the ground, and the inhabitants thereof are slain by the edge of the sword, peradventure they will return home to inquire after their wives, their little ones, and their sheep and their oxen, and we be then rewarded by our Lord the King.

  32. And the rumour thereof spread abroad throughout all the land, and messengers were sent day by day.

  33. Moreover, that Thomas the Gageite, the Captain of the Heathen, came by night and stole away their powder and their implements for war, and to seize their brethren and send them away captives to Babel, to be tried by the Heathen laws, and peradventure hanged for their supposed transgressions.

  34. Then arose Jedediah the priest, and Aminadab, and Obadiah, and Jeremiah, and lifted up their voices, and spake aloud and said,

  35. Fathers, brethren, and the children of our fathers, ye have heard of all the evil that has been brought upon our city, the city of our forefathers, the New Canaan, the land of promise, and behold this day it is desolate and no man dwelleth therein.

  36. How doth the city remain solitary that was full of people; she is as a widow: She that was great amongst the nations, and princess among the provinces, is about to be made tributary, and bow down to the TEA CHEST, the God of the Heathen; tell it not in Gath, nor publish it in the streets of Askalon.

  37. Now, therefore, if it seemeth good unto you, and that it proceedeth of the Lord our GOD, we will send to and fro unto our brethren that are in all the land of the Americanites (for with them are Priests and Levites in the cities and suburbs thereof) that they may assemble themselves unto us.

  38. And all the congregation answered and said, Let us do so, for the thing seemeth good in the eyes of all the people, for surely they will not be like the Gibeonites of old.

  39. And they yet spake unto them and said, Now, therefore, we pray ye arise! Every man of you from sixteen to sixty get up, be strong and valiant, gird thy sword upon thy thigh, O thou most mighty, are ye not the men, and are ye not the sons of your fathers, that subdued the Louisburgites?

  40. And the young men gave a great shout and said, Yea, verily, we have heard with our ears, and our fathers have declared unto us, the noble deeds which they did in your days, and in the old time before us.

  41. And Jedediah the priest, and Aminadab, and Obadiah, yet spake once more to the people and said, Moreover, brethren, are ye not valiant men, and sprang from the tribe of the Oliverians, be not afraid, nor dismayed, the Lord is on our side, we fight the battles of the Lord, let us drive the Heathen out of our land, for they are but as grasshoppers unto us, and all the congregation gave a mighty shout and said, Lead us on; and Caleb and his brethren, ten men in number, were sent as spies.

  42. And they caused the messengers to go throughout all the land, from Farmingham to Salem, and from Salem to Seabrook, and from Seabrook to Plymouth, and from Plymouth to Nantucket, and from Nantucket to Marblehead, and from Marblehead through Connecticut, and from Connecticut throughout all the cities, and along the sea coasts, and the borders thereof, and the valiant men assembled themselves, and marched to the relief of the men of Boston.

  43. The Captains of hundreds, and the Captains of thousands, and all the people, from the least even to the greatest, came to fight the battles of the Lord.

  44. And the tribes of the valiant men from the mountains and from the country afar back, and as thou goest down to the sea coast, and they pitched their tents, which were of the skins of lions, and of bears, and of wolves, and of foxes, and of he-goats, and encamped in the valley of Ephraim.

  45. And these are the names of the tribes, and the number of them that were sealed (that is, that had sworn by the solemn league and covenant) the least of whom could resist an hundred, and the greatest a thousand, valiant men of war, and apt for battle, which could handle a spear and shield, and their faces were like the faces of lions, and whose feet were like the roes in the mountains in swiftness.

  46. Of the tribe of Aminadab and Jedediah the priest, that were sealed, which were reckoned by their genealogies seventeen thousand and seven hundred and ninety and two, whose staves were like unto white oak saplings.

  47. Of the tribe of Obadiah that were sealed, six thousand and four hundred and seventy and two, and their sons, and their sons sons, that could handle the strong bow and javelin.

  48. Of the tribe of Ezekiel that were sealed, four thousand and four hundred and sixty and six, whose fists were as the hoofs of an elephant, and could beat down the Colossus at Rhodes.

  49. Of the tribe of Israel and Jonathan the sons of Ebenezer, that were sealed, ten thousand and six hundred and forty and nine that could sling a stone to a hair's breadth.

  50. Of the tribe of Nathan, and Eleazer, and Reuben, and Hezekiah, and Caleb, which were sealed, forty thousand and three hundred and fourscore, and nineteen, five heads of the houshold of their fathers, all chosen men, and men of valour from their youth, exceeding Goliath of Gath in height.

  51. Of the tribe of Pelatiah and Zedekiah, which were sealed, five thousand and six hundred fourscore and one, the least of whom were stronger than Sampson, bold men, and as hard as a pine knot.

  52. Of the tribe of Zechariah, the sons of Joshua, which were sealed, twenty thousand and three hundred thirty and one, men of high renown, which have done mighty feats.

  53. Now these are the names and the numbers of their tribes.

  54. Now it came to pass that when the Gageites beheld them afar off on their way, even as the sand on the sea shore in number, with their slings, and their darts, and their cross bows, and their spears, and their javelins in their hands, that they were astonied, and fear came upon them, and they said one to another, Let us flee to our own country afar off, for these be not men but unconquerable devils.

  55. Howbeit, while the Gageites were about to flee, the spies returned and spake to the Bostonites, as they were on their way (for each man marched a step with a gigantic stride of three cubits and a half, and a span) and said, Behold, brethren, your city, the city of our forefathers, even the city of our GOD, is safe, and your brethren, your wives, and your little ones, your cattle and your sheep are all in health, for the Heathen have not destroyed them.

  56. So the rumour ceased, and the people gave a shout, a mighty shout, which was heard even in the camp of the Heathen afar off, and they said who did dare to spread this rumour, behold! are there not tar and feathers enow in our Land for these disturbers of our quiet.

  57. And the men departed every man to his own home in peace, and the priests returned and blessed the Lord.

  58. Now the rest of the acts of the Gageites, and all that they did, first and last, and all their abominations, behold will they not be written in the book of the Lamentations of the Elders and Select Men of Boston.

Chap. II.

Now after these things, behold Thomas, sirnamed the Gageite, wrote letters unto the King, and sent them by the hands of Judas the parasite, saying,

  1. The land thou sent us to subdue, is a land that eateth up thy people, for the men we saw in it are mightier in understanding than we.

  2. Moreover they be giants, men of great stature, and we seemed but as caterpillars in their sight, they assemble in such multitudes, and come on so fast that they seem minded to do us mischief, so maliciously are their hearts set against us.

  3. They hold altogether, and keep themselves close, and mark our steps, while they seem to lay wait for us, they roar in the midst of themselves, and set up their banners for tokens.

  4. O King, thy servant is in a great strait, the men of New England are stiffnecked and as stubborn hogs, neither knoweth thy servant what to make of them; they are worse unto me than all the plagues of Egypt.

  5. For they resolve upon resolves, they address, they complain, they protect, they compliment, they flatter, they sooth, and they threaten to root me up.

  6. Now therefore, O King, I pray thee send able counsellors over, that they may advise and counsel thy servant, lest they circumvent him and he appear foolish in the eyes of all the people, for thou knowest, O King, thy servant is no conjuror.

  7. Moreover, all my counsellors have forsaken me and resigned, and are become like unto Job's comforters, thy servant knoweth not what to do.

  8. For the men of New England are as venemous as the poison of a serpent, even like the deaf adder that stoppeth her ears, they give good words with their mouths, but curse with their hearts, they go too and fro in the evening, and grin like a dog, and run about through the city, they slander thy servant, they make a bye-word of him, and grudge him every thing, yet complain if they be not satisfied.

  9. Surely, O King, the spirit of Oliver or the Devil is got in them.

  10. Now behold, in process of time Rehoboam, the King, sent messengers unto Thomas the Gageite, saying,

  11. Make thyself more strong (for if ye be cast down they that trouble us will rejoice at it) be thou as stubborn as an old boar, harden thine heart, turn thou not to the right hand nor to the left, regard not thou their resolves, their addresses, their complaints, their protests, their compliments, their flatteries, their soothings nor their threatenings.

  12. But enter thou into them as the Devil entered into the herd of swine, make their yoke more grievous, my Grandfather corrected them with rods, but I will chastise them with scourges, mine eye shall not spare them, neither will I have pity, but will recompence their ways upon their heads, that they may be a portion for the Canadians and the Quebeckites.

  13. For have we not heretofore nursed a brood of vipers in our bosom, that in time will gnaw out even our very vitals?

  14. For who is he, what king or what nation shall be able to deliver them out of mine hand?

  15. Nevertheless it came to pass about this time, that Occunneocogeecococacheecacheecadungo, the great king of the half tribe of Chillissquasquadungo nation, the scalpers, whose habitations are in the uttermost parts of the land, in the mountains, in the forests, in the dens, caverns, and in the wigwams thereof,

  16. And who were famous of old in the land of the Ohio, when the Gageites fled before them, who were expert in their rifles, in their bows and their arrows, their knives and their tomahawks, and who could take off the hairy scalp equal to any French tonsor in the land, heard of the things which were come to pass, and how that the heathen threatened their brethren the men of New England

  17. That he sent runners unto them, and said, fret not thyselves because of the ungodly, for they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and be withered, even as the green herb.

  18. For behold, brethren, we have kindled a fire, and danced around it, and set with our breech on the ground, and we be ready to paint our faces, disfigure our brows, and come by the light of the moon and help ye, we will cause your enemies to flee before ye, like the arrow from the bow, for did not one chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight?

  19. For surely the wild buck knoweth no bounds, the bear laugheth at chains, the tyger will not be restrained, neither doth the fox regard an hedge, for free we were born and free we will remain.

  20. Why then do the heathen so furiously rage together, and why do the Britons imagine a vain thing?

  21. For lo the kings of the earth are gathered together, from one end thereof to the other, they stand up, and seem mad, and the rulers take counsel together, against the Lord and against his people saying,

  22. Let us break their charters asunder, and cast away their liberties from them.

  23. And the men of New England sent messengers, and presents and thanks to Occunneocogeecococacheecacheecadungo and their brethren, and said bye and bye, only be ye ready.

  24. Lay your thumbs on the feathers of your arrows, your fingers under the strings, and your left hands to the bow and stand up.

  25. Now the name of Occunneocogeecococacheecacheecadungo's mother is not yet found out.

  26. Now Jeremiah, the son of the prophet, gat himself up on high, and climbed on the top of liberty tree, and sat there from the morning until the evening, and said,

  27. Behold, yonder I see a dark cloud like unto a large sheet rise from the North, big with oppression and desolation, and the four corners thereof are held up by the four great beasts, Bute, Mansfield, Bernard and Hutchinson,

  28. Carrying a large swarm like unto locusts of sycophants, commissioners, duty gatherers, customhouse officers, searchers, tide waters, placemen and pensioners innumerable.

  29. The bastards and spurious breed of noblemen, and the children of harlots, enveloped in smoke, and big with destruction, and they seem as it were moving on toward the westward guided by the light of the star wormwood.

  30. Moreover, I see Mordecai, the Benjamite, standing ready with his rod to give it the electrical shock, that it may burst with vengeance on their devoted heads.

  31. And I heard a voice say unto Mordecai, son of man, these are the four beasts that imagine mischief, and devise wicked counsel, in whom is the spirit of the evil one, and who spread lying reports throughout the land of Britain.

  32. And these are the extortioners and collectors of taxes that causeth the kingdom to pass away, and the glory thereof to vanish.

  33. Now Mordecai, the Benjamite, watched them narrowly, and followed them with his eyes afar off, neither would he let them depart out of his sight.

  34. Howbeit the men of Boston waited patiently the event, for they put their trust in the Lord of Hosts, in the congress, in themselves and in Occunneocogeecococacheecacheecadungo; for they said, two is better than one, and a fourfold cord is not easily broken.

  35. Now it came to pass, while the Gageites abode in the land of the Bostonites, they day by day committed iniquity; they made great clattering with their sackbutts, their psalteries, their dulcimers, bands of music, and vain parade.

  36. And they drummed with their drums, and piped with their pipes, making mock fights, and running to and fro like shite pokes on the muddy shore.

  37. Moreover by night, they abused the watchmen on duty, and the young men, the children of Boston by the way side, making mouths at them, calling them Yankeys, shewing their posteriors, and clapping their hands thereon.

  38. And it provoked the young men, and they said unto Aminadab, we cannot bear this, these seven times they have vexed us, for they gape upon us with their mouths, as it were a ramping and a roaring lion.

  39. Now therefore speak unto Jedediah the priest that he would blow the rams horns and the conch shells, that we may go and smite the heathen, O, that he would give us leave to play with them!

  40. But Jedediah the priest answered, and said, nay, my sons, let us bear with them yet seventy and seven times, for behold how good and joyful a thing it is, for brethren to dwell together in unity.

  41. Only be of good courage and strong; pluck up your hearts, dread not nor be afraid, hold up your heads, and look like young unicorns for they are a nation void of counsel, neither is there any understanding in them.

  42. They shall be rewarded according to their deeds, and according to the wickedness of their own inventions, they shall be recompensed after the works of their own hands, they shall be paid that they have deserved, our adversaries shall be clothed with shame, and they shall cover themselves with their own confusion as with a cloak.

  43. And the people said, be it so, and they were made easy.

  44. Now it came to pass, when the Gageites had received succour, they prepared to go against the city, in which were men of valour, and old women and children, and the mothers of children, and grandmothers the mothers of mothers.

  45. And they brought their battering rams, and their cannon whose mouths were of the diameter of a cubit, and whose throats were like unto open sepulchres, and which bellowed out fire and smoak and saltpetre and brimstone.

  46. And they planted them on the neck of the Bostonites, and they laid siege against it, and builded a fort and bulwarks, and cast a mount, and set the camp against it, and laid engines of war against it round about.

  47. And their ships, even their mighty ships of war, with their iron tiers, their pride and their boast, whose masts are of the stately cedars of Lebanon, and the huge pine from the Norwegian hills, surrounded the coasts round about, so that the ships of the merchants that came to traffick from the isles afar off, could not enter.

  48. And they jested one with another, and made mouths, and squinted with their eyes, and said, let us cut off the communication between the city and country, and pinch them by famine, and they will surely give up, and fall a prey into our hands.

  49. Now their brethren in the country, in the towns, and in the villages thereof, had divers town meetings, and they communed amongst themselves, and sent messengers unto their brethren in the city, and said,

  50. Be of good comfort, come thou over to us, thou and thy wives and thy children and thy substance, and all that thou hast, and fare as we fare until we see what the Lord will do for you.

  51. For behold are not our barns full, and are there not wheat and rye and Indian corn and buckwheat on our threshing floors, why then should ye abide in the city?

  52. For if ye tarry, and destruction cometh upon the city, blame us not; we will wash our hands of you, for ye shall not make a covenant with the heathen for us, for their God is not as our God, even our enemies being judges.

  53. Now the people reasoned one with another, and said, shall we go?

  54. Howbeit, the elders of the city said unto them, Wait patiently, let us first send unto our brethren at the congress, peradventure they will counsel us for our good.

  55. And the people said, make haste and send.

  56. Now Jedediah the priest, the son of Eliphalet, and Aminadab and Obadiah and Nathan and Reuben, and Zechariah and Pelatiah, and Caleb, and Ehud the son of Gera, and Phineas the son of Eleazer, and Othniel, Caleb's younger brother, and Jeremiah and Ezekiel, and Jonathan the son of Ebenezer,

  57. Select men, that were not minded to speak evil of another, no, not even of Thomas their adversary, stood by the entry of the gate near the threshold of Thomas the Gageite.

  58. And it was about the tenth hour of the day, according to the dial of Ahaz, and said,


  1. How long wilt thou plague the people, and wilt not let them alone, for lo hast thou not made a tumult in the land, and is not the alarm gone forth among the people?

  2. For surely the incongruity of thine, and thy people's proceedings, justly causeth jealousy, for thinkest thou, we and the people of this land are stocks, stones, and statues, or creatures of no sensibility?

  3. For behold, have not thy soldiers wrought wickedness in the land, and vexed the young men, and abused them by the way side, making mouths at them, and grinning like monkeys?

  4. Moreover, have ye not raised ramparts and bulwarks on our neck?

  5. Now, therefore, we pray thee desist from such abominations; these things are not right, for the young men's blood beginneth to rise, neither can they bear with it long.

  6. For when one churneth milk it bringeth forth butter, and he that wringeth his nose causeth blood to come out, so he that forceth wrath bringeth forth strife

  7. If thou hast been foolish in lifting thyself up, and if thou hast thought foolishly, lay thine hand upon thy mouth; better is a little with peace than a great pension, and be called a lord with the curses and imprecations of the people upon thine head.

  8. He that ruleth his own mind is better than he that winneth a city.

  9. A little city, and a few old women in it, and a great king sent against it, and compassed it about, and builded forts against it; fye, fye, better is wisdom than honour.

Honour's a puff of noisy breath, Yet men expose their blood. And venture everlasting death, To gain that airy good.

  1. Then answered Thomas, and said, take from me the noise of thy songs, for I will not hear the melody of thy viols.

  2. Nevertheless they said unto him, For what cause did ye come into this land? Have ye not stopped the harbour, and blocked up our ports, so that the ships from Tarshish, and the isles afar off, may not enter, and the way side, to hinder our brethren in the country from bringing their produce, the daily provisions, the necessaries for the sick and feeble, for the old people and the young children, and for the labouring men?

  3. And their sacks of corn, their eggs, their butter, their cheese, their potatoes, their wild fowl, their pigs and their beeves, their sheep, their venison, and their poultry, and to bring a famine in the city, that the people may die with want, and steal away our name as thou hast stolen our powder.

  4. But Thomas answered, beware of murmuring and all manner of grumblings.

  5. Howbeit Obadiah lifted up his voice and spake, and said,

  6. Wherefore should the names of our fathers be taken away from among his family? We have a possession, an inheritance among the brethren of our fathers.

  7. Forty years was Moses and the children of Israel in the wilderness of Zin; our fathers and brethren have been in possession of this wilderness of America four score and forty years.

  8. The Lord our God brought us into this land to shun the persecutions of thy people, and yet thou art come to persecute us; yea, more and more, did he not root out many of the Indian nations before us that were greater and mightier than we?

  9. A land, in which are rivers of water, and fountains that spring out of the vallies, rocks, and hills.

  10. A land of wheat and barley, of vineyards and fig trees, pomegranates and pompions, a land of fish and oil, olive and honey, a land wherein we eat bread without scarcity.

  11. Neither do we lack any thing therein; a land whose stones are iron, out of whose mountains are dug gold, and whose pebbles are diamonds.

  12. Then spake Thomas, and said, where the word of the king is, there is power, and who shall say unto him, what doest thou? for out of the king's lips proceedeth justice and wisdom.

  13. Because sentence against an evil work (the destruction of the TEA CHEST) be not speedily executed, therefore the hearts of the men of Boston are fully set in them to imagine evil.

  14. But Pelatiah spake, and said, thy tender mercies are cruelties; it is better to die by the sword than by famine; it is better to trust in the Lord than to put any confidence in princes.

  15. Now Thomas waxed wrath, and opened his mouth once more, and said,

  16. Wherefore do you turn aside unto vain jangling, pretending to be teachers of the law, yet understanding neither what they say, nor what they affirm, but doting about questions and words, whereof cometh strife, railings, evil surmisings, perverse disputings of men's corrupt minds, and destitute of truth?

  17. Then whispered Pelatiah, and said, he that hath a glass head should never throw stones.

  18. Then spake Thomas, and said, shall not your folly be made manifest unto all men, even as was that of Jannes and Jambres, who withstood Moses?

  19. Now arose Phineas, a man of Suffolk, the son of Eleazer, who was of a warm disposition, yet nevertheless prudent, whose face was ruddy, and whose countenance was like the sun at noonday, the captain of the host, a mighty man, and a warrior from his youth; he was the chief of the thirty champions of New England, he killed four she bears, and slew three giants, the sons of Anak, in single combat, and brought away their heads, and his mother's name was * * *

  20. Moreover he was a captain of old at the siege of Louisbourgh, when it fell into the hands of the men of New England, and said,

  21. Why boasteth thyself, thou tyrant, that thou canst do mischief?

  22. For there is no king can be saved by the multitude of an host, neither is any mighty man delivered by much strength.

  23. For many dogs are come about us, and the counsel of the wicked lay siege against us, deal not so madly, set not up your horn on high, and speak not with a stiff neck, lest ye be bruised with a rod of iron, and broken in pieces like a potter's vessel.

  24. For thou thyself imagines mischief in thine heart, and stirreth up strife all the day long; for it is not an open enemy that hath done us this wrong, for then we could not have borne it.

  25. But this land, and those possessions, are ours, and as the Lord liveth, though thy strength were ten times more abundant, like unto the host of Pharoah, or even like unto that of Senacherib, thou shall not dispossess us, for there be no Esaus among us, neither do we mean to sell our birthright for a dish of TEA.

  26. For the congress will stand to their cause, and bring forth their strong reasons; they shall be like unto trees planted by the water side, which will bring forth their fruit in due season.

  27. Now Thomas waxed more and more wrath, and spake unto Phineas, and said,

  28. The pride of thine heart hath deceived thee, thou that dwelleth in the clefts of the rocks, though thou exalt thyself with the eagle, and though thou set thy nest among the stars, thence will I bring thee down, and all the men of thy congress, and thy confederacy, will I bring down even unto the border.

  29. Nevertheless, Phineas answered, and said, pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall; it is an honour for a man to cease from strife, but fools will be meddling.

  30. Nevertheless, seeing ye are for blood, we will make our arrows drunk with blood, and our swords shall eat flesh, and the word shall be THE SWORD OF THE LORD AND OF OLIVER.

  31. Now behold Thomas, sirnamed the Gageite, turned his back upon them, nor vouchsafed them any further argumentation, for he was an haughty man, and a great snuff taker.

  32. Moreover, he lacked wherewithal to make him an answer.

  33. Now Matherius Cottonius, the former high priest, being dead, and sleeping with his fathers, and all New England had lamented him, and mourned for him, and buried him in the Old South, in his own sepulchre, and in his own city, after he had put away the soothsayers, the sorcerers, the witches, and Balaam, the wizard, out of the land;

  34. That his successor Jedediah, the priest (not having the gift of prophesy, and moreover, somewhat doubtful how the matter might terminate betwixt the Gageites and themselves) asked counsel, but he was not answered by dreams, by visions, by the beating of the pulse, by urine, nor yet by prophets;

  35. That Jedediah spake unto Aminadab and Obadiah, saying,

  36. Be there not still remaining, in all the land of New England, a prophetess, a cunning old woman, whom men call a witch, and who hath in times past foretold divers things, which have come to pass?

  37. And Obadiah answered, and said, yes, verily, behold there be one left, that abideth in the suburbs, one whom I know full well, a woman that is a charmer, that hath a familiar spirit, and knoweth all things which shall come to pass.

  38. Then Jedediah, the priest, changed himself, and put on other raiment, and he went and took Aminadab and Obadiah with him, and they came to the woman by night.

  39. And it came to pass that Jedediah knocked at her door with his staff, and said unto her, I pray thee let me come in unto thee, and let me partake of thy secrets.

  40. And the woman opened her gate, and Jedediah went in unto her, and kissed her, and Obadiah and Aminadab remained without, and she spread a table, and she put thereon, and said, surely thou shalt eat with me, and Jedediah sat down and did eat with her, and drank wine.

  41. Now Obadiah waxed exceedingly jealous, howbeit he held his peace, while Aminadab knew not what these things meant.

  42. Now all this while Aminadab and Obadiah remained outside the door of the house, and it rained and grew cold, and Obadiah lifted the latch of the door, and they entered and saluted the woman, and sat by the fire and warmed themselves.

  43. And the woman said unto Jedediah, are these thy friends? And he answered and said unto her, yea, verily; and she made them welcome, and they sat down likewise, and did eat and drink.

  44. And Jedediah said, woman, art not thou a regarder of the times, a marker of the flying fowls, a witch, and converseth with the dead? Surely thou art highly favoured, seeing thou canst divine, canst do and tell of things that are mistical, obscure, abstruse, and remote from conception.

  45. Now therefore I pray thee conjecture unto me by the familiar spirit, and bring me him up whom I shall name unto thee.

  46. But the woman, whose name was Carey, was amazed and afraid, and she said unto him, how is it that you ask such things of me, seeing I have not practiced them these four score years, behold thou knowest what Matherius Cottonius hath done, how that he hath destroyed the sorcerers, the soothsayers, and the witches, out of the land, wherefore then seekest thou to take me in a snare to tell of me, and cause me to die?

  47. Then Jedediah, the priest, said unto her, knowest thou not, sister Carey, old things are done away, and all things are become new, that without thy help peradventure we be lost and undone? Let me beseech thee, therefore, to conjecture unto me, that my soul may be at rest, and bless thee.

  48. And she said, if thou will keep it secret, and swear unto me, then will I satisfy all thy desires.

  49. And it came to pass that Jedediah did so, and mother Carey was therewith content; now Obadiah growled within himself like an old cur, yet nevertheless spake he not a word.

  50. Then said Jedediah unto her, now know I of a truth, indeed, that thou art a charmer, and hast a kind familiar spirit.

  51. Now mother Carey said unto him, whom shall I bring up unto thee?

  52. Then Jedediah answered and said, bring me up OLIVER CROMWELL.

  53. And behold when the woman saw Oliver, she cried with a loud voice, and spake unto Jedediah, saying, why hast thou deceived me? I took thee for Obediah, but thou art Jedediah, the priest, that hath done this thing, and why hast thou constrained me to call up such a monster?

  54. And he said unto her, sister Carey, my charmer, be not afraid, the necessity of the times maketh it necessary; what seest thou? What fashion is he of?

  55. And she answered, an old man, with a high crowned hat, cometh up, with whiskers, having on a brigandine or coat of mail, a brest plate of boldness, a two edged sword in his hand, half boots on his legs, his belt struck round with pistols, like a Devil in a thorn bush, and a face like unto the face of a rhinoceros.

  56. Then Jedediah knew it was Oliver, and he inclined his face to the ground, and bowed himself, likewise did Aminadab and Obadiah.

  57. And Cromwell saluted them and said, GRACE BE UNTO YOU, wherefore have you disquieted me to bring me up?


  1. Then answered Jedediah, and said, thy sons are in great distress, for the Gageites are come unto the land, they are preparing for our destruction, and to make war against thy people, therefore thy counsel and spirit are much wanted at this time, for unto whom can we seek for succor but unto thee, next to the Lord of Hosts?

  2. Moreover there be some eunuchs of the tribe of Levi, Coo-r-ites, the friendly addresser, and R---g--n the pretended letter presser, that want to divide the people into factions, and who go about like unto owls by night privily, through the city, in the high ways, in the streets, at the corners, in the alleys, lanes, by ways, and in the secret places thereof;

  3. Haranguing the ignorant, and making scandalous pamphlets, and newspapers, against the congress, and against the proceedings thereof, endeavouring to set it at nought, and against thy people, and blaspheme thy name.

  4. Therefore be not thou angry with thy sons, we pray thee, neither be thou displeased with our sister Carey, who stands trembling and weeping before thy face, for behold she hath done this thing at my desire, and that good may come out of evil, therefore let all thy vengeance, if any, fall upon the head of Obadiah, for he shewed her unto me, and brought me hither, but be thou not angry with thy sons, we pray thee, for thy name is precious in their mouths.

  5. Then Cromwell, looking pleasantly on the woman, took her by the hand, and said unto her, comfort thy heart, daughter Carey, thou that art the daughter of the mother of all witches, for no harm shall come unto thee, and the woman made a low curtesy unto him, and died up her tears, and her fears vanished away, and he said unto Obadiah, Obadiah, thou hast done well.

  6. Then spake Oliver unto Jedediah, and said, regard not thou these sons of slander, for they be sycophants and understrappers; they be like unto monkeys grinning at a lion, like unto puppies barking at the moon; they are wolves in sheep's clothing.

  7. For these things do they to serve themselves, that they may be taken notice of and rewarded by their master, even as the traitors Bernard and Hutchinson are rewarded, and who will say unto them, well done, ye good and faithful servants, come thou, and take the mitre on thine head, and be a BISHOP, and come thou unto me, for thou shall be the KING'S PRINTER.

  8. Now mark what I shall say unto you, Jedediah, I will deal with their superiors and not with them, and notwithstanding their utmost efforts to enslave you, the lamp of liberty shall still burn with purified oil, like unto that which ran down Aaron's beard, not made of blubber, but pure virgin oil, and triumphantly shall ye rejoice in the smell thereof.

  9. And although they make a jest of our divine charter, our blessed magna charta, yet shall it not be prostituted to wrap up their poisonous TEA.

  10. Bit I will cause the lining of their TEA CHESTS to be cast up, and converted into musket balls, and the chests themselves shall be be metamorphosed into a whipping post and pillory for Bernard and Hutchinson.

  11. And the remainder thereof shall be transformed into tar barrels, and into traps, to catch the Coo-r-ites and the R---g--nites, and other half priced political rats, for have not I spoken it? faith, OLIVER.

  12. Then Spake Jedediah , and lifted up his hands and eyes, and said, O how highly favoured are we thy sons, that it be permitted that thou, our great Lord and mighty Protector, regardest his children, who hatest hypocrisy and dissimulation, whose conscience is void of offence, who refused an earthly crown that thou mightest be rewarded with a crown of glory, who art ambitious only for the glory of the king of kings; thou whose consummate fortitude, magnanimity and prudence, whose great and divine talents were bestowed from above, to answer wise purposes and happy events, how didst thou raise the fading glory and dying reputation of the British nation, beyond the highest pitch of Roman greatness; the heads of kings and princes were but as snow balls in thine hands, and thou hustled powers, principalities, and kingdoms as in a cap; thou became the dread and terror of the nations round about; thou swayed the sceptre of this terrestrial universe, and held the balance of power in thine own hands, thou broughtest true religion to the highest pitch, and banished enthusiasm, fanaticism, high church bigotry, popish superstition, and pretenders to saintship, out of the land; thou shook his holiness's chair, made the triple crown of the great dragon to totter; thou madest the papal cap to fall off from his hoary pate, thou pulled the purple robe from off his shoulders, and made thereof a carpet for the soles of thy shoes, and left him as bare as an unfledged woodpecker; thou suffered not the haughty king of France to enjoy his boasted vain title, but permitted him to be called only the simple French king; the invincible proud Spaniard thou humbled in the dust, and made their Donships, Don Falsey Benabio, and Don Diego Surly Phiz, their ministers, as submissive as spaniels; thou despised their treasure, their silver and their gold, and sunk their galleons in the depths of the sea; the sly Hogan Mogans of the United Provinces trembled at thy nod, they besought thy friendship, and their thy friendship, and their High Mightynesses became the poor and distressed states; the strong holds and impenetrable castles of the piratical Algerines became but as sport and pastime in thine hands, and the ships of all nations thou made to lower their pride, pay homage, and bow down to thy all conquering flag; thou settest up whatsoever thou pleasest, and fullest down whomsoever thou wilt.

  13. Now behold, while Jedediah was speaking, CROMWELL smiled on him, and it pleased him, insomuch, that it made his heart glad and leap for joy, for he was not proof against flattery, but rejoiced to hear his own actions and great achievements praised and extolled, even unto the skies.

  14. And it came to pass, when he had twirled his whiskers, and stroked his beard, he said unto him, he that is not for us is against us; what meaneth Thomas the usurper?

  15. Behold, I will shortly let him know, to his sorrow, what it is to disturb the pious ashes of them that sleepeth, to threaten my beloved people, and to affront the majesty of OLIVER; for in seven nights will I appear in a vision before him, face to face.

  16. Hearken, therefore, Jedediah, to what I shall speak in thine ear, take counsel of me, and suffer not your spirits to flag, be thou and our people resolute, give back not one inch, and, if so be ye are constrained to fight with them, behold I will be in the midst of you, you shall find me in the centre, in the wings, and in the fore front of the battle, and when you find me flinch, then execrate the name and memory of OLIVER.

  17. For I will break those chains in sunder which have been prepared to shackle you, and they shall moulder away like clay, and you shalt surely prove victorious, and triumph over your enemies; am not I your Lord Protector; for history cannot point out, neither can the Chronicles tell wherein a true born Oliverian ever flinched or forsook his cause; witness my prowess at the memorable battle of Marsdon Moor.

  18. Moreover I will cause the heads of Johnny the Butetite, and Haman the Northite, to be lopped from off their shoulders, even as the limb of a tree is lopped off, and they shall be hanged on a gallows fifty cubits high, and they shall remain on the walls of the gates of Britain as a memorial, even as I was ofttimes wont to serve traitors of old, and as rebels are served.

  19. Then were the hearts of Jedediah and Aminadab and Obadiah glad, and they bowed seven times unto OLIVER, and fell with their faces to the ground.

  20. And OLIVER said unto them, Rise and stand up on your feet like men, and go ye into the city and tell my people, you have this night seen the face of Cromwell their Lord Protector, which no man hath seen these six score years.

  21. Moreover tell Phineas, the captain of the host, the son of Eleazer, be strong and whet up his plow shares into swords, and his pruning hooks into spears.

  22. Tell Occunneocogeecococacheecacheecadungo, my brother, fill up his quiver, and stand up and tarry till I come, and take ye this in thine hand and proclaim it through the city, and throughout all the land of New England, awake and rouse up my faithful Fairfax, Lambert, and the rest of my brave warriors: THE LORD PROSPER YOU; GRACE BE UNTO YOU.

  23. And he departed out of their sight in a terrible whirlwind, and they saw him no more that time, neither knew they where or which way he went.

  24. Now as soon as Venus, the evening star, began to be dull and drowsy, they took their leave of Mother Carey, and Jedediah, the priest, shook her by the hand and stroked her, and kissed her, and looked wishfully on her, and because the night was cold and rainy, she covered his shoulders with her newest under garment, and she smiled on him, and they went their way.

  25. Howbeit, Obadiah went on grumbling and sorrowful, nor yet opened his mouth.

  26. And it came to pass, as they were on their way, Aminadab pondered these things in his heart.

  27. Now behold when they were come into the city, that on the next day, and in the morning thereof, Jedediah, the priest, caused all the people to be assembled, and they came from all quarters and assembled themselves together, and from the suburbs, and from the country, and the villages and towns round about, a very great multitude.

  28. And he said, Listen, brethren, I pray you, that ye may understand, for behold our Lord Protector OLIVER hath appeared, and hath commanded me, his servant, to proclaim this unto you; and he pulled from under his mantle a roll of parchment (for he wore no cassock nor band) and he said, Give attention, O all ye people; and the people remained silent, and he read therein with a loud voice, and spake unto them through a fisherman's trumpet, and said,

By his HIGHNESS OLIVER CROMWELL, the most Invincible, Puissant, Invulnerable, Magnanimous, and Evangelical, LORD PROTECTOR of the Commonwealth of the Province of the Massachusetts Bay, in New England, and the Territories thereunto depending, Generalissimo, Chancellor, and Lord High Admiral of the same,


Whereas I have received information, that his Excellency Thomas, surnamed the Gageite, otherwise called the Usurper, on the 28th day of September last did most daringly, wantonly, abominably, wickedly, atrociously and devilishly, and without my knowledge, allowance, approbation, instruction or consent first had and obtained, and without my name, and the imperial signet of the Commonwealth affixed thereunto, did presume, and ipso facto issue forth and publish a most diabolical and treasonable proclamation, in order to delude my true and faithful subjects, and cause them to swerve from the right way, and to throw off their allegiance unto me their true lawful, rightful Lord, and Sovereign Protector, to the great detriment and disquiet of their consciences, by endeavouring to establish the doctrine of the arrant whore of Rome, as well their worldly interest, by commanding my loving subjects to pay the taxes, and other duties and customs of the land, into the hands of a tool of his own appointment.

NOW KNOW YE, That for divers good causes and considerations, which shall be made manifest in due time, I have thought fit, by and with the advice and consent of my trusty and well beloved cousins, generals, and council, Fairfax, Ireton, Willoughby, Zankey, Skippon, Hammond, Rainsborough, Pride, Lambert, Coote, Venables, Broghill, Hewson, Abbot, Reynolds, Ewer, Lilburn, Fleetwood, Desborough, Harrison, Blake, Gibbons, Marsh, and Jones, to issue this my proclamation, and by the authority aforesaid, do highly disapprove and contemn the above recited proclamation, hereby strictly charging and enjoining, and exhorting all Selectmen, judges, justices of the peace, sheriffs, collectors of taxes, constables, and all whom it may concern, to disregard, reject and utterly refuse paying any obedience whatsoever thereunto, but that they do forthwith pay all monies, so received or may hereafter receive, by virtue of their offices, into the hands of my faithful, trusty cousin, and worthy collector, colonel Bradshaw, whom I have appointed for that purpose, until my further pleasure in the premises be made known, as they will answer the contrary at their peril, or otherwise as they regard my blessing.

AND WHEREAS it is highly expedient, to the intent therefore, that the perpetrator of such unheard of and unparalleled piece of effrontery, and misdemeanor, should be apprehended and brought to condign punishment, and that it may be a caution to all and every one, not to commit the like trespass, I do hereby further, by the advice and consent of the council aforesaid, promise, that if any person or persons shall apprehend and deliver, or cause to be delivered over to the Selectmen of Boston, or to Colonel J. H------k, Moderator and Chairman of the Provincial Congress, the said Thomas, surnamed the Gageite, otherwise named the Usurper, such person or persons shall thereupon have, and receive, out of the profits arising from the sale of the TEA, a reward of ONE SHILLING OLD TENOR, over and above what the charter of the province allows in such cases made and provided.

GIVEN under my hand, and the great and imperial signet of the Commonwealth of the province of New England, at Boston, the 27th day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and seventy-four, and in or about the tenth year of our SOVEREIGN LORD PERSECUTION, by the GRACE of SATAN, KING of TYRANNY, CONFUSION and POPERY, DEFENDER of the ROMISH FAITH, &c.


By his Highness's command, BRADSHAW, Secretary. GRACE BE UNTO YOU.


And it came to pass when Jedediah had made an end of reading the proclamation, that there was joy manifest and visible in the countenances of all the people, and they gave a great shout, and the rumour thereof spread abroad throughout all the land, and behold that day will forever be kept as an holy day on account of the new birth of Oliver.

  1. Now every man was ready to help his neighbour, and said unto his brother, Our Lord Protector hath appeared, for behold Jedediah the priest hath seen him face to face, and talked with him, now therefore be strong, they shall be as nothing, and the men that war against thee as a thing of nought.

  2. Moreover every man's sword was as sharp as a barber's razor.

  3. Now it came to pass about this time, that there came a ship from the land of Britain afar off, with merchandize and TEA, and cast her anchor in the harbour of the Marylandites.

  4. And behold, Joseph, and James, and Anthony, the merchants (for it was their ship) committed a trespass against the people.

  5. For they paid unto the king's collector, the duty thereof unknown to the people, even the duty for the TEA.

  6. Howbeit the Marylandites were like watchmen on the towers, they kept a good look out (for the spirit of liberty, of watchfulness and freedom, went throughout the land) and they assembled themselves together, and consulted, and they brought Joseph and James and Anthony, the merchants, before them.

  7. And they said unto them, Wherefore have you committed this iniquity in the land? behold, ye be but three, and ye be not able to stand before this multitude.

  8. Now they were sore afraid and dismayed, and said unto the men of Maryland, We have indeed sinned against the people of the land.

  9. Nevertheless, suffer us we pray ye, to make an atonement, and moreover that we make a sacrifice of the TEA, and a burnt offering of the ship.

  10. And the men of Maryland said unto them, Seeing ye are minded to make a free-will offering, and not of turtle doves, nor young pidgeons, or fatted calves, of rams, nor he-goats (which things will not atone for a sin offering) we will therefore suffer ye to do even as ye have said, to purge the iniquity out of the land, and that the land be no longer defiled.

  11. And it came to pass, that Joseph and James and Anthony went their way, and they took firebrands in their hands, and they went and climbed up on board the ship, and they entered in and they set fire thereto, and blew it with their mouths, before the face of the multitude.

  12. And the flames thereof, and the sparks, and the smoke ascended upwards, and the south wind blew them onward towards the NORTH, and the lower part of the ship sunk in the depths of the waters.

  13. And they kneeled on their knees, and begged pardon, and smote their breasts, and said, We have sinned, we pray ye therefore have mercy upon us.

  14. And they vowed a vow before the face of all the congregation, that they would never commit the like trespass again, for their hearts were heavy, and they were sore troubled, neither would they do so any more.

  15. So the people of the land believed them, and took pity on them, and had compassion on them, and forgave them for that time.

  16. Now it came to pass, that in the evening, when the Bostonian men of the Grand Congress, Thomas the Cushingite, the Adamites, and Robert the Painite, had returned home and come into the city and unto their own homes, that their wives and their little ones received them tenderly, and clung about their necks for joy, and kissed them.

  17. And the people came from all quarters, and they assembled themselves like bees in an hive, and greeted them, and made them welcome.

  18. And they made bonfires, and they illuminated their houses, and the candles which were of spermaceti, and lights shone with unusual lustre and brightness, and the smell thereof was like unto the frankincense and myrrh of Cassia, the same which the queen of Sheba brought unto Solomon.

  19. And they fired their guns and discharged their pieces nineteen times in a minute, exceeding far away in quickness the fire of those that are undeservedly and falsely called regulars, and who are but as recruits, compared unto the men of Boston.

  20. And the bells of the steeples, of the churches, and of the Old South, rang for joy, that the city looked even like unto a city of magic lanthorns, neither was the like ever seen in the land of New England since they took the strong hold of Louisburgh.

  21. Insomuch that it dazzled the eyes of the Jacobites, the Governmentites, and the Gageites afar off, and it made them squint and look awry.

  22. And behold they squint, and write egregious pamphlets, and press them in the letter press, even unto this day.

  23. Now Thomas surnamed the Gageite looked out of a window and beheld these things afar off, and he said unto Simon, his chaplain, What meaneth all this?

  24. But behold Simon was inebriated (he loved carousing) and was not in a condition to inform him, for he squinted more than them all, and objects multiplied, and magnified in his sight, for he viewed them obliquely, obtusely, acutely and horizontally.

For he always stood firm to his text, And believ'd there was virtue in wine; And he thought that a glass of the next Wou'd make wit still the brighter to shine. By wine he replenish'd his veins, And made his religion to real, Then fancy'd the lights, like his brains, Turn'd like a Copernican wheel. For he, like the vicar, the test of good liquor, Call'd boy--bring a glass of the best, Faith I mind not their rout, let their candles burn out. And then we may safely go rest.

  1. Howbeit Thomas, willing to satisfy his fears, called for Monseiur De la Cutta de Bearda, his tonsor and valet de chambre, and said unto him, Tell me the cause thereof?

  2. Then spake Monsier De la Cutta de Bearda, (as well as he could) and said, Owe Monsieur Excelancy, de gentlemans of de Grand Congre, be comee home a, to de town a, and de peoper a make a de great a luminasiong, and make a de chandelier burn a, and make de fire a, and fire de great gunna, for aw dat, and for de joi of dat.

  3. Now it came to pass, when he understood the meaning thereof, he fell with his face on his couch, and he swooned away, and he fell asleep in a deep trance, and the soul of Thomas departed from him for a short space of time.

  4. And he dreamed a dream, and behold he saw Cromwell standing before him, and he grinned at him, and stamped with his foot, and shook his head as if he would bite him, and looked horribly on him, and threatened him, and said unto him, Depart hence thou Usurper, and let me see thy face no more.

  5. Insomuch, that when he awoke, the drops of cold sweat fell from off him, his tongue hung out of his mouth, his limbs shook, his countenance was sometimes pallid and anon would change colour like unto a chameleon, and his bones rattled within his skin.

  6. And he cried out with a hollow murmuring voice, O, Oliver, Oliver thou art too terrible, I cannot bear thy stern looks, for thou art an over match for Lucifer himself.

  7. Now behold, the next day Thomas was seized with a trepidation, he looked sorrowful, and was seemingly in great tribulation, he would neither eat nor drink, he would not open his mouth to any one, neither did any one dare to speak unto him, nor comfort him.

  8. Insomuch that those of his own houshold marvelled greatly, and his soldiers stood amazed and quitted their stations, and some there were who deserted, so that the drummers were commanded to beat the tattoo, to warn them to their quarters.

  9. Howebeit, Simon his chaplain, a man of a persecuting spirit, yet withal a pretender to moderation, well acquainted with the doctrine and customs of a well spread table, but a stranger to grace either before or after meat;

  10. Fond of crabs, lobsters, and all kinds of fish, yet nevertheless cautious of choking himself with bones, cared little for his God, but worshipped his own belly, preferring a bottle of champaigne to a fountain of living water, and fonder of a back gammon table than a church bible.

  11. When he had recovered a little from the fatigue of the last evening's vespers, being yet weary and heavy laden, having some small remains of the vertigo, he went into the chamber of Thomas and drew the curtain of the bed and spake unto him, and said,

  12. Why mourn ye thus all the day long? Arise, eat, drink, and be merry, or before tomorrow's dawn thou will not have a soldier left to fight for thee, not one of thy household save me, to comfort thee, for behold, thy soldiers desert in droves, and the Philistians will surely be upon thee, Thomas.

  13. Then opened Thomas his eyes, and looked on him, and answered and said unto him, Oh, Simon, didst thou but know--I have this night seen--

  14. Now, all this while Simon viewed him askance, and said unto him, And what hast thou seen? Not the Old Boy, I hope, God forbid.

  15. And Thomas spoke, and said unto him, Beloved Simon, jest me not, Oh gladly would I it had been him, for believe me, Simon, I have this night seen--

  16. And Simon laughed and said, A night hag, I suppose, riding through the air, drawing a broom stick with Lapland witches, or has some of mother Cary's chickens been hovering around thy brain?

  17. And Thomas answered and said, Oh, Simon, forbear thy jests, what mine eyes have seen are far more terrible than them all, I have seen the face of Cromwell--Oliver's--Oliver's face--

  18. Then Simon said unto him, Shadows, phantoms, chimeras, bugbears, the effluvia, of a wild imagination, arise, and drink deep of the stream, and forget all your care.

  19. And Thomas said unto him, My beloved Simon, my reverend chaplain, thou knowest me well--believe me then--'twas no shadow but a real substance, even as thou thyself art, pray for me, I beseech thee.

  20. Now Simon began to be somewhat more serious, and thought within himself it might be so, and said, I will judge not lest I be judged (for he was not thoroughly satisfied concerning the doctrine of apparitions) niether was he minded to dispute the authority of the scriptures, concerning the speaking of Balaam's ass.

  21. Moreover he had heard of Cromwell's appearing unto Jedediah the priest, and of his proclamation, and he said unto himself, Perhaps the effervesence of my own brain at this time may render me incapable of judging aright, for--let me see--I forget the chapter, as well as the book--but it matters not, it is somewhere.

Now Simon reasoned thus, exempli gratia.

Did Balaam's ass speak, or did he not? Yes, granted.

Since Balaam's ass spoke, why might not the witch of En-dor raise up Samuel, did she raise up Samuel? Yes, granted.

If Samuel was a shadow only could he have had power to speak? No, not allowed.

Since Samuel was a real substance, raised by the witch of En-dor, and had power to speak, did he speak unto Saul? Yes, granted.

Seeing therefore that the principle of this hypothesis is undeniably proved, to wit, that Balaam's ass did speak, that the witch of En-dor did raise up Samuel, that Samuel did speak unto Saul, and that Samuel was not a shadow but a real substance, I say, seeing they are granted, let us proceed a little farther.

Why then might not Mother Carey, by the same enchanting power and hereditary right, seeing she was the eldest daughter of Balaam the wizard, by his wife the witch of En-dor (whose name I have forgot) raise up Oliver Cromwell, did Mother Carey raise up Oliver Cromwell by virtue of her power and hereditary right? Yes, granted.

Could Oliver have avoided it, had he been so included? No, by no means.

If Cromwell was a shadow only, could he have had power to speak? No, not at all.

Since Cromwell was a real substance, raised by Mother Carey, and had power to speak, did he speak unto Jedediah the priest? Yes, granted.

Seeing therefore that we have converted the hypothesis into a matter of fact, without straining the text, we may therefore defy all unbelievers, critics and hypercritics, to dispute the reality of appearance.

Again, feeling therefore that Mother Carey did raise Oliver, and that Oliver did speak unto Jedediah (for by the character Jedediah bears especially amongst his own people, and a priest too) I can hardly think he would lie about the matter, besides there is Oliver's proclamation wrote by his own hand, which a number of the Bostonites have sworn to, being well acquainted with his hand writing and two other circumstances in favour are the date, and the freshness of the paper.

I say, taking all these for facts, which they incontestably are, and deny it who can, the matter will stand thus.

Balaam's ass did speak, but he could not have spoken unless he had had something to say; the witch of En-dor did raise up Samuel, which she could not have done unless she had power, Samuel could not have spoken, if he had nothing to say, and if he had not been raised, neither could he have spoken unto Saul at all, unless Saul had been present, so Mother Carey, having power by her hereditary right, as being the eldest daughter (as I said before) of Balaam the wizard, by his wife the witch of En-dor, had power to raise Oliver, but Oliver could not have spoken unless he had something to say, and unless he had been raised, neither could he have spoken unto Jedediah, unless Jedediah had been there.

Now the inference and conclusion are these, that Oliver Cromwell, by the same power that he appeared unto Jedediah, did appear unto Thomas the Gageite, a real substance, and spoke unto him; therefore the doctrine of apparitions are fully proved, so that it should by no means be rejected, but that we should stick up to the text, without departing from it one jot or one tittle.

  1. Now spake Simon unto Thomas and said, From all evil and mischief I pray that thou may be delivered, I will haste and call unto thee thy physicians, let them try the power of terrestrial medicines, and if that fails, then will I administer celestial physic, and he departed out of the chamber.

  2. And behold about this time there came another TEA SHIP from the land of Britain, and cast her anchor in the river of York, in the land of the Virginites, and the Sons of Liberty and the Virginia Rangers assembled themselves together, and the TEA and their TEA CHESTS ascended up in a pillar of fire and smoke, and vanished out of sight.

  3. But the ship being innocent, and the owner thereof a righteous man, and knowing nought of the matter, for his sake therefore they suffered her to depart to the isles afar off.


When the king shall sit upon the throne of his kingdom, then shall he regard the law as it is written in the book, and it shall be with him, and he shall read therein all the days of his life.

That he may learn to fear the Lord his God, and to keep all the words of the law and the ordinances to do them.

That his heart be not lifted up above his brethren, and that he turn not from the law, to the right hand, nor to the left, that he may prolong his days in his kingdom, he and his sons in the midst of Britain for ever.

Wherefore then dost thou strive against thy servants, and put heavy tax masters over them?

Now, O king Rehoboam, did not the men of America thy servants dwell without fear, every man under his vine, and under his fig tree, from Terra Labradore unto the coast of the Georgites, all the days of Solomon thy grandfather?

Did not the antient men, the Pitites, that stood before Solomon thy grandfather while he yet lived, counsel thee to be kind unto the children of America, and speak loving words unto them, and please them, and they will by thy servants for ever?

But behold, O king, thou hast rejected the counsel of the old men, the Pitites, and followed that of the young men, even that of Johnny the Butite, and that of the wicked Haman the Northite.

Who said unto thee, Thy least part shall be bigger than thy grandfather's loins, make their yoke more grievous, they grandfather corrected them with rods, but do thou, O king Rehoboam, chastise them with scorpions, then shall we trample them under our feet.

Now Johnny the Butite and Haman the Northite caused Rehoboam to do eveil in the sight of the Lord.

Howbeit it made the belly of the Pope to shake for joy, and his Holiness cracked his sides with laughter, for they caused Britain to sin, they encouraged the setting up groves and golden calves, in the land of the Canadians and the Quebeckites, and in the plains of Abraham, and dishonored the memory of the immortal Wolf.

And Rehoboam walked no more in the ways of Solomon his grandfather, but walked in the ways of Louis king of France, and of Carolus king of Hispania, and made molten images for Balaam and for Pope Gregory Hildebrand.

Now, O king, do we not pour out our wealth into thy lap, and into the lap of thy beloved, even the pure gold of Ophir and Portugal, and the fine silver of Mexico and Peru, that hath been tried seven times in the fire? And notwithstanding thou and thy nobles be not content.

Do we not bring presents of food and raiment day by day, for thee and thy household, for thy wives, thy concubines, and thy little ones, neither be ye satisfied. Have we not covered thy face with fatness, and hast thou not great collops of fat upon thy flanks?

Dost thy hands or thy fingers work, or dost thy head assist the cunning workman? Dost thou not beget children like pismires? Dost not the beloved of thy bosom breed like a rabbit? And are not thy offspring as numerous as the coneys among the stoney rocks? Thy heart be not satisfied.

Now, O king, what heart can desire more? Even Solomon thy grandfather in all his glory (of these things) did not excel thee.

Wherefore then doest thou lift up the sceptre of thine indignation against us? Surely, O king, thou requitest us evil for good, for hast thou not cast upon us the furiousness of thy wrath, anger, displeasure, and trouble, and sent evil angels and hot thunder bolts amongst us?

Moreover, thou hast not regarded our messengers nor our petitions, and hast disregarded our supplications, neither hast thou honoured our ambassador. Didst thou not take from Mordecai his post, and almost stone him with stones, as was St. Stephen of old, for doing that which was right in the sight of the Lord?

And has thou not sent forth a decree, that all the world should be taxed for the God of the TEA CHEST?

Didst thou not in the days of the Stamp Act, shed the blood of our brethren like water on every side, even in the city and in the streets of Boston, so that it ran down the gutters thereof like unto the lava from the eruption of Mount Etna or Vesuvius?

Flee, flee, far away from us thou bastard of the Stamp Act, for doth not a burnt child read the fire?

And yet, notwithstanding, would we not all to a man (were it the laws of our own land) rather sooner agree voluntarily to burn our throats with a ladle of hot mush, our own country produce and manufacture, than have the nosle of a tea pot crammed down our throats, and scaled with the abominable and baneful exotic, without our own consent?

And moreover, O king, hast thou not made a Jesuitical decree, that our half brethren the Canadians and Quebeckers fall down and worship graven images? And peradventure, we and our children be commanded to fall down and worship them also.

No, we cannot persuade ourselves to disturb the ashes of our forefathers and former teachers, who were men of piety, disinterested virtue, and true catholic reformation principles, and whose doctrine make our souls to live. We cannot persuade ourselves to adopt the doctrine of passive obedience and non-resistance, we cannot apostatise, we will not, though Belzebub himself should be belwether to his holiness, and stand at our gate with all his bald pated fryars, and imps of hell at his elbow, but firmly to a man resolved are we to hold fast our integrity.

For, O king, knowest thou not, we ever had a great aversion to bishops?

How then can we admit a pope, cardinals, inquisitors, jesuits, confessors, fryars dominican or franciscan, capuchin monks, or the society of congregatio de propaganda, cowls, hoods, habits, reliques, pardons, indulgences plenarie, dispenses, and bulla de la sancta erugada's, and devils with seven heads and ten horns?

With all their trumpery of processions, ceremonious solemnities, te deums, ave marias, pennances, incense, beads, thumping, holy water, and such stuff?

No verily, we cannot abide with those that hold of superstitious vanities, for our harps we will hang up on the willow trees, neither will we tune our voices to chant harmonious popish vespers.

For be it known unto thee, O King Rehoboam, we well remember to have heard our mothers declare (and have we not read it in our primers) concerning John Rodgers minister of the gospel, the first glorious martyr, who was burnt at Smithfield, two hundred years ago and upwards, in the reign of the bloody queen Mary?

Now God forbid we should forsake the Lord to serve idolatrous Gods as doth the Canadians and Quebeckites, there shall no strange Gods come hither, neither will we worship any God, save our own.

No surely, thy servants will all to a man sooner die martyrs to the true faith than worship the God of Nafroch, neither will we be bound in chains of popery, nor fetters of superstition.

For in a contest and cause like this, we will smile at the flames, and shake hands with the fagot, and say unto the one, Thou art my sister, and unto the other, thou art my brother.

Now therefore we pray thee, O king, revoke these thy said ill advised commandments, for they are oppressive to freedom and to they servants consciences.

Otherwise we do most firmly resolve, that we will have no farther dealings with thy people; and that in the space of sixty days we will not traffick with them for their TEA, their tea cups, their saucers, nor their slop bowls.

Neither shall they with us nor our people, for our iron, our tobacco, our oil, nor our cod fish; what we will make no covenant with them, neither marry nor intermarry.

For what portion have we in Rehoboam, or what inheritance in the grandson of Solomon?

And whereas thou pridest theyself, our raiment will wax old, and we shall go naked and barefooted, knowest thou not, O king, the Lord our God clothed our forefathers in the wilderness, and their garments waxed not old, neither did their feet swell?

For doth not the moon give light, in the absence of the sun, and the stars twinkle when the moon is hid, and the candle shineth when the heavens are black?

Thus, and thus, and more also, did the men of the Congress write unto the king, and moreover they wrote letters unto Thomas sirnamed the Gageite, saying,

Are we not labouring for peace, but when we speak thereof, ye make yourselves ready for battle.

Nevertheless it is thought the king will not hearken unto them, but harden his heart, like unto the heart of Pharaoh, for his eyes are blinded with the pestilential breath of the NORTH wind, so that he cannot see the evil day which is not afar off.

Then shall come to pass, that which was spoken of old by Mordecai, the Benjamite and prophet, saying,

Wo unto the land whose king is a child, whose counsellors are madmen, and whose nobles are tyrants, that devise wicked counsel, for they shall be broken like potters clay.

Wo unto them that draw iniquity with cords of oppression, and sin as with cart ropes, for they shall be afraid of a shadow that passeth by, and the echo of a toad shall be them like thunder.

Wo unto the king whose nobles mouths are bridles with a golden bit, and whose governors and rulers persecute the people, for his strength shall decay, his glory tumble in the dust, and his name shall be like unto an old woman's tate.

Wo unto them that decree wicket decrees, and write grievous things, for their hands shall be full, and they shall dip their pens in the gall of bitterness.

Wo unto the king who persecutes his people with sword and with famine, for in the day of desolation the pestilence, like a two edged sword, shall sweep away his host like Pharoah's in the Red sea, or like unto a flood that sweepeth away the pismires in the gutter.

Wo unto the princes of Babel, for they are fools, and the counsel of the king's counsellors are become foolish, for the children of America shall mock them, and shall say, Aha, Babylon is fallen! Be wise now therefore, O ye kings, be learned ye that are judges of the earth, kiss the Americans lest they be angry and turn away from ye and curse ye, for blessed are all they that shaketh hands with them in peace.

Now when Jedediah the priest had read all the words of the Congress, and when he had made an end thereof,

He said unto all the people who listened unto him with great attention, for the words of his mouth were sweeter than honey, and the sound of his voice like unto a trumpet, which reached from one end of the land to the other.

Now if thou shalt diligently obey the voice of the Congress, and observe to do all their commandments, which they have commanded thee this day, then shalt thou be set on high above all the nations of the earth.

And blessed shalt thou be in the city, and blessed also in the field.

Blessed shall by thy basket and thy dough.

Blessed shalt thou be when thou comest in, and blessed also when thou goest out.

Blessed shall be thy flocks and thine herds, for they shall bring forth cream in great plenteousness, that thine eyes will wax fat like butter.

Blessed shall be thy shoes, for they shall be soft, made of velvet, and thy feet shall not swell.

Blessed shall be thy toes, for thou shalt have no corns.

Blessed shall be thy chimnies, for they shall not smoke, and with the best of fuel shall thy fire be replenished, it shall burn as clear as the sun at noon day, and thy wife shall hold her peace.

Blessed shall be thy plough, for thine own hands shall guide it, and thine oxen shall speedily walk the furrows, and

Blessed shall he be that blesseth thee.

Then shalt thine enemies that rise against thee, fall before thy face, they shall come out against thee one way, and shall flee before thee seven ways.

And now hearken, O ye innumerable multitude, what I say unto you.

Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy, vain babbling, jingling of words, sham pretences, pompous speeches, pertinacious double faced scribbling, or letter pressing, and cause ye to stray from the right path.

For behold, I say unto you many falce prophets, C----ites, and R----ites shall arise, so as to deceive the very elect.

Therefore take heed lest ye be taken in traps and snares, and ye become slaves for life, and thy children after ye, worse than the Ethiopians, or the Israelites, who were compelled to make brick without straw, or those who are chained for life to tug at the oar.

Now behold Jedediah the priest came down a little way, and Phineas, the son of Eleazar, mounted and stood in his place, and he spake aloud and said, cursed be he that confirmeth not all the words of the law of the Congress, to observe them, and to do them, and all the people said, So be it.

Cursed shalt thou be in the city, and cursed also in the field, and all the people said, So be it.

Cursed shall be thy basket and thy dough, and all the people said, So be it.

Cursed shalt thou be when thou comest in, and cursed also when thou goest out, and all the people said, So be it.

Cursed shall be thy flocks and thine herds, for they shall bring forth skim milk in scarcity, and thy legs shall fall away, like unto a candle that is fried, and all the people said, So be it.

Cursed shall be thy shoes, for they shall be hard, made of the skin of a dromedary, and thou shalt be eternally roaring with the gout, and all the people said, So be it.

Cursed shall be thy toes, for thou shalt have corn by the bushel, and all the people said, So be it.

Cursed shall be thy chimnies, for they shall for ever smoke, and with sodden fuel, rotten stumps and swamp oak, shall thy fire go out; it shall burn like the star Saturn, and the tongue of thy wife shall make an eternal clack, more sonorous and piercing than the tongue of Zantippe, the wife of Socrates, the mother of all scolds, and who kept a scolding schol at Athens, and all the people said, So be it.

Cursed be he that putteth his hand to the plough and looketh back, for his oxen shall break their gears, and ramble through the bushes, the briars, and the brambles, and all the people said, So be it.

And cursed shall be he that curseth thee, and all the people lifted up their hands, and fell to the ground, and the whole multitude cried with a loud voice and said, Like as thou hast spoken, so will we do, and they gave their hands to one another, and answered and said, Amen, Amen, and Amen, so be it.