Update jokes.txt

controllers/jokes.txt

@@ -215,3 +215,36 @@ What do you call 26 letters that went for a swim?<>Alphawetical.
 Why was the color green notoriously single?<>It was always so jaded.
 Why did the coach go to the bank?<>To get his quarterback.
 How do celebrities stay cool?<>They have many fans.
+What's the most depressing day of the week?<>sadder day.
+Dogs can’t operate MRI machines<>But catscan.
+I was going to tell a time-traveling joke<>but you guys didn’t like it.
+Stop looking for the perfect match<>instead look for a lighter.
+I told my doctor I heard buzzing<>but he said it’s just a bug going around.
+What kind of car does a sheep like to drive?<>A lamborghini.
+What did the accountant say while auditing a document?<>This is taxing.
+What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day?<>It was loaf at first sight.
+Why do melons have weddings?<>Because they cantaloupe.
+What did the drummer call his twin daughters?<>Anna One, Anna Two!
+What do you call a toothless bear?<> A gummy bear!
+Two goldfish are in a tank. <>One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
+What’s Forrest Gump’s password?<>1forrest1
+What is a child guilty of if they refuse to nap?<> Resisting a rest.
+I know a lot of jokes about retired people<>but none of them work.
+Why are spiders so smart?<>They can find everything on the web.
+What has one head, one foot, and four legs?<> A bed.
+What does a house wear?<> Address.
+What’s red and smells like blue paint?<>Red paint.
+My son asked me to put his shoes on<> but I don’t think they’ll fit me.
+I’ve been bored recently, so I decided to take up fencing.<> The neighbors keep demanding that I put it back.
+What do you call an unpredictable camera?<>A loose Canon.
+Which U.S. state is known for its especially small soft drinks?<>Minnesota.
+What do sprinters eat before a race?<> Nothing—they fast.
+I’m so good at sleeping...<>I can do it with my eyes closed.
+People are usually shocked that I have a Police record.<>But I love their greatest hits!
+I told my girlfriend she drew on her eyebrows too high.<> She seemed surprised.
+What do you call a fibbing cat?<> A lion.
+Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?<> Because it’s pointless.
+I like telling Dad jokes…<>sometimes he laughs.
+How do you weigh a millennial?<> In Instagrams.
+The wedding was so beautiful<>even the cake was in tiers.
+What’s the most patriotic sport?<> Flag football.