S1E2transcript.rtf

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\f0\b\fs60 \cf2 \cb3 \expnd0\expndtw0\kerning0
\outl0\strokewidth0 \strokec2 Disclaimer/Intro/Mailbag
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\f1\b0\fs30 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 (The Zooier Than Thou podcast contains mature content and language, and may not be appropriate for younger audiences. Thanks for understanding.)\
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\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Hello, friends and colleagues, and welcome to another episode of Zooier Than Thou. I\'92m internationally-recognized mongler of frisky furry fellas, Fausty\'85\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0And I\'92m Toggle!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0And we\'92re here to chaperone this evening\'92s Zooier Than Thou adventure.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I have to say, it\'92s a Good Friday to be a zoo. We\'92ve got some good news from the podcasting world.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0As our listeners know all too well, there\'92s just kazillions of other zoo podcasts out there. Quadzillions. So rather than competing with such well-established resources, we\'92re more of a newcomer doing what we can to lift up the whole big basket of zooey \'91casts out there. So here\'92s a little bit of news to that end.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 As you may remember, the widely-beloved \'93Zootopia\'94 podcast \'96 a heavy-hitter in the zoo podcast world \'96 was taken down after they received a cease and desist letter from Disney.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Really a shame, it\'92s one of the best-of-breed and stands out even amidst the ocean of alternatives.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Well, now they\'92re back after rebranding themselves as Zoo Utopia, and you can check out their new website at ZooUtopia.dog.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0We really should have gotten a dot dog domain. I\'92m not very good with computers, but we could have done that\'85 couldn\'92t we?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Yeah, but all the good ones are already taken by other zoo podcasts.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Ah, yeah, that\'92s right.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0And folks \'96 don\'92t let the cluttered zoo landscape put you off. There\'92s always room for more, so if you\'92re listening and feel inspired to do your own zooey podcast, drop us a note and we\'92ll be happy to help you get set up and running with the kit needed to make it happen. The more, the merrier!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0All joking aside for a moment, we know some listeners have really creative new ideas for zooey podcasts of your own. Don\'92t let technical hurdles hold you back, ok? We can help you with your own setup, do some production assistance behind the scenes, or just share advice and ideas\'85\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Yep. And once you get up and running, you\'92ll be pleasantly surprised how easy the whole process is. Look\'85 if two unrepentant mongers like Fausty and I can do it, literally anyone can. I mean, Fausty can\'92t even get his phone to work most of the time \'96 and here he is, on a podcast! That\'92s how easy it is: even a Fausty can do it.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Yeah yeah, I mean it\'92s not like I\'92m some techno-geek-whatever, well\'85 moving on, let\'92s jump right into our mailbag. Last episode, we asked listeners to weigh in on BeastForum, and while we got a number of e-mails about the show, only one person had anything to say about the forum. Maybe that\'92s for the best.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Not feeling inspired to dig deeper into the beastforum quagmire, Fausty?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Way back when, one of their admins bragged to me about how they would inflate their \'93thread views\'94 counts arbitrarily to make the site look way more popular than it was \'96 they had built a custom module to allow them to set view counts, point-and-click. Remember how they used to have all these hundreds-of-thousands-of-views threads?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Sure \'96 they had lots of traffic, right? And weren\'92t some of those thread, ahem, started by you?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0My old content from waaay back did prove very popular there \'96 but who knows precisely how much, since they were faking their views counts comprehensively on the site. It\'92s just typical for how shady and fake the whole thing was, underneath.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Most zoos seem to be moving on from the beastforum issue by now \'96 though our one listener email is certainly worth sharing before we move on, ourselves.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0You want to do the honours, Toggle?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Sure! This e-mail is from Orca in Oslo. Orca starts out with: \'93Hey! I really liked your first episode and I\'92m looking forward to listening to the next ones. Keep up the good work, you may some day make a name for yourself in the plethora of zoo podcasts.\'94\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Well we certainly hope so! It\'92s a stretch, what with all the prestigious competition, but I think we can manage it!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Orca continues: \'93So, I\'92m a young zoo exclusive who grew up with the Internet, and I actually think Beastforum wasn\'92t\'a0that\'a0bad. Sure, there was a lot of shit on it and what the owners did with the content people posted was horrible, but if you sorted everything out, I think you could find really cool people and content. It was the biggest zoo community, and I think it was important to have such a \'93hub\'94. It really helped me to discover that I wasn\'92t the only one, to accept myself as I was and to become proud of my zoosexuality.\
\'93I think Beastforum was an easy to find website that was really good for people discovering themselves like I was, the guides were cool and to be able to read all these people\'92s experiences was great. Since there\'92s almost no other website or forum about zoosexuality, I don\'92t know a place where people like that could go today. To my knowledge, the only things left are an 8ch thread that\'92s almost only about porn, and somewhat hidden communities on Twitter, Telegram and Discord. It\'92s not enough in my opinion, and it\'92s a real problem.\
\'93What do you guys think about it?\'94\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Whoo\'85 well Orca makes some great points, and the perspective of younger folks, not grey muzzles like me, is really important here. I get asked this fairly often, in terms of where I\'92d recommend folks go for a non-evil zoo forum, just a place to hang out with other zoos and\'85 I don\'92t have anything to recommend, is the long and short of it. There\'92s a few super-old-school watering holes where oldsters like me hang out and re-hash old debates from the zeta-l days, but those aren\'92t much use for everyone else are they? So beastforum managed to squat their greedy non-zoo asses right in the middle of our community\'92s semantic space online, and in doing so became sort of a default stopping-off point. Now that it\'92s gone\'85 I dunno. Good friends have told me there\'92s a few forums out there that don\'92t suck but I just haven\'92t looked to even form an opinion at this point.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0So what does come next, I mean in terms of zoo forums online? Isn\'92t there a real need for a good, safe place that \'96 unlike beastforum \'96 sets a positive tone and isn\'92t run solely to generate porn content for pay websites and all that? There\'92s no way I\'92d ever recommend a chan-site to anyone looking for a positive place to hang out, because\'85 well, chans.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Likewise. A decade ago I ran a zoo forum myself \'96 alongside the tracker \'96 and a few things I learned doing that job. One, it\'92s a lot of hard work, and doing it right isn\'92t a simple project. Two, keeping abusive content out is actually not very difficult \'96 we had a bright-line standard and members made sure nothing evil was part of our community, period. Three is that it\'92s truly worth the hard work to provide a good, safe, healthy place for zoos to congregate online. I hope others take up the challenge and fill the post-beastforum gap with a zoo-owned, zoo-run, zoo-centric alternative. It\'92s sorely needed, as much now as back when I did just that years ago.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0It\'92s funny, though. For me, I found BeastForum to be inaccessible as a younger zoophile. As a media person, I\'92m a Mac user myself\'97\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Of course you are, you Mickey Mouse Motherfucker.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0(laughs)\'a0Fuck you, dog-mongler! So, as a Mac user, the whole thing where you had to put together small pieces of video files made them inaccessible, and the fact that you had to pay to access certain things was a barrier as well. I found myself on a different forum called ZoophilesForum, which I thought was much better. I had a similar experience there to Orca\'92s with BeastForum; finding a community, making friends, and reading about people\'92s experiences, all without the exploitative nature of non-zoo admins.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Well, ZoophilesForum had its own problems, too.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Really? I had no idea.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0It had a bit of a complicated history \'96 doesn\'92t everything? There were some amazing folks there, genuinely representing the best of our community, on the admin team. There were some personal issues that made it hard for those good folks to carry the admin load, and unfortunately some astonishingly toxic individuals weaseled their way into admin roles. It eventually slowly imploded on itself. Sad story, and sadly not unique. Same thing happened to \'93Zoophile\'92s Destiny\'94 and several others along the way.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Dang, I didn\'92t even know that. I was on there, probably, in 2009 or so.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I\'92d say that was probably near its heyday. Still run by good folks, still regularly visited by amazing folks. I\'92d gladly shout-out the great people who made that community a great place during those years, but security. So I\'92ll just say thanks to them for all they did, and hope that message comes through to them wherever they are today, loud and clear.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Oh, well, no wonder I liked it, then!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Thanks a ton for that e-mail, Orca. We loved hearing about your positive experiences in an otherwise dark place on the internet. And to anyone listening and thinking, \'93Well, geez, why doesn\'92t someone just set up a genuinely zoo-positive zoo forum and do it the right way\'94 \'96 good on you! If we \'96 and I personally \'96 can help in any way, we\'92ll absolutely do so. Go get \'91em, tiger \'96 don\'92t let anyone tell you it\'92s not possible, because it absolutely is.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0We got one more great e-mail we\'92d really love to share, and it\'92s a doozy! We\'92re probably going to be editing this one because it\'92s so long you\'92d think Fausty wrote it.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Now, to be fair, people say they love my writing style.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Equal amounts hate your writing style.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0This is true. Carry on.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0This letter is from\'a0(shouts)\'a0LOOOOOOOVE CAAAAAT!\
(Love Cat stinger plays)\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I\'92m sorry, Love Cat, I\'92m a huge dork, and I couldn\'92t resist it. But your letter is wonderful, so let\'92s dive in. Love Cat writes: \'93Hey guys, very pleased to hear another zoo podcast from the sea of zoo podcasts we\'92re all drowning in. Also very much pleased to hear Fausty\'92s voice, having only just recently become aware of his existence and read through Uniquely Dangerous. Toggle\'92s voice was a good listen too, and i have to agree it does sound like his balls haven\'92t dropped, but that makes comments like \'93fuck \'92em!\'94 even more hilarious.\'94\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0(laughs)\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Oh, my god.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Someday, you and those balls are gonna get some space between the two of you! One of these years. Just keep the faith, buddy. It\'92ll happen.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Yeah, well, at least my voice is not fake! I don\'92t have to go in and adjust my voice just so people can stand to listen to it!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0You\'92re the one that gave me this horrible, fake voice, so who\'92s to blame for that, right?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0(laughs)\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Back to the letter.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Yes. Love Cat continues: \'93I can\'92t say I\'92m super delighted about the whole Exposure Solution thing \'96 I was one of those who was taken in by it hook, line, and sinker, and went through a week of anxiety over it. i honestly thought it was fucking Pepe again, and had visions of more jailings and suicides in my head. I realize that you had good intentions in doing that, but the thought of any of the new zoo friends I\'92ve finally made being harmed by these psychopaths who get off on ruining people\'92s lives is intolerable to me \'96 only to find out that it was you putting out a strategic hoax\'85 well, it\'92s a bit of a mindfuck man. I\'92m trying to learn good lessons from it \'96 such as that you yourself have survived pain, trauma, sabotaged life goals etc. directly consequent to your being outed against your will, and that despite it all you sound undefeated \'96 but it still seems like a harder lesson than was maybe necessary.\'94\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Hmm..\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Those pauses are for you to comment.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I thought those pauses were just for you gather your majestic voice for the next paragraph.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0When you see a pause in the script, that\'92s for you to comment.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0What I mean, what can I really say to that?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Man? I mean, we we do try our best to make sure that there were no zoos that thought it was actually about them. So like we tried to say, you know, like, we were very conscious of the idea that, Oh, we don\'92t really want to scare zoos, but we want them to kind of pay attention. So we were like, Okay, well, it\'92s going to be a celebrity. We\'92ll out a celebrity that we know, zoos think that it\'92s them. But maybe that wasn\'92t entirely apparent. And\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0There are apparently at least a couple of Zoos who are convinced they are celebrities, and that they were being targeted. And I do feel bad for that. Because the idea of flagging celebrity was to make sure nobody was worried. And if we failed in doing that, that was our mistake. And we do apologize for that.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Yeah, honestly we apologize for any stress we caused anyone during that, so\'85\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0There\'92s been quite a bit of discussion and debate about the exposed solution on Twitter, and I would encourage anybody who thinks we were particularly stupid or irresponsible in doing that, to share those ideas publicly, because it\'92s been a really useful discussion to have.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0And, you know, if you felt like this was a good idea that it was important. Equally, your opinion is also valid. We\'92ve gotten a little bit of both. So you know, it\'92s something worth talking about.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Fair enough. It was an interesting mix of strong reactions either way, which maybe says that there was a whole lot of important issue underlying that particular approach to launching the podcast.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0In fact, actually, this next part of the letter talks about it some.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:\'a0
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Very good.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0\'93In any case, it did cause me to reevaluate how much power I\'92ve let this boogie man have over me. And that despite whatever unavoidable consequences being outed can have, the worst consequence would be to allow the ruination of my spirit, which is what they really want to do. I know that psychopaths want to corrupt and destroy the innermost core of a person, that\'92s what really gets them off. And that to deny them that satisfaction is ultimately what I must do. And in that respect, Fausty, you are a hero to me. That you have lived through nightmarish experiences and not caved, that you have stayed true to yourself in the face of unreasonable hatred, smear campaigns, utter injustice, I can\'92t tell you what an inspiration and encouragement I find in that. Stay Defiant. I get it.\'94\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I appreciate the thought, though, absolutely recoil from the concept of any heroism here at all, I look back at these years covered in that book. And I see the 10,000 terrible mistakes I made that I wish I could go back and do better. So thank you for the gracious positive feedback, I have to say for myself, I know that it could have been done so much better. And I I look forward to people smarter than me doing better than me, and showing the right way to do it in the future.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Right. But I think we get to a core thing here. And that is that, you know, we shouldn\'92t be ashamed, we shouldn\'92t be scared. We shouldn\'92t be made to feel less than human, by people who want us to feel less than human. I think it\'92s interesting that when we did this, we kind of provided a safer way of helping people maybe come to that realization that, you know, why? Why would I be scared of this? Why do these people have so much power over me?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Though it was completely unintended, I look back on it, and I wonder now if some zoos who have always felt themselves to be exempt from risk or fear of outing felt that they were suddenly at risk and got a taste of what that feeling is, that was not what we were trying to do. But I do look back and some of the people that reacted most aggressively I think have been the ones who have bragged sometimes about, I\'92ll never get outed, I\'92m way too smart for that. That\'92s only stupid people that get outed and some of those people seem like they were the ones who got angry. And I wonder if it\'92s not really their fear talking at that point.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Right. At any rate, the idea was not to cause anyone stress. But to kind of highlight the absurdity of that kind of dialogue that takes place online with around these people.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0We we reached for the most hyperbolic, unbelievable, totally fantastical language in writing those tweets. And a scary and interesting part of the reaction is that no matter how hard we tried to make them sound overblown, people believe they could be true. And that says a lot about how weird this stuff can really get.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Right. And you know, there\'92s a point where when you\'92re dealing with zealots, parody starts looking like the real thing. And that\'92s just something that happens when you\'92re dealing with something, so over blown. so over the top, so outrageous that it\'92s it\'92s hard to parody because you just look like you\'92re just doing it. You look like\'85\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0We tried. We tried to parody the best we possibly could. And to a degree, I think we have to say that we failed in our efforts to parody despite those extraordinary attempts. And that has been a learning lesson. No question.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Let\'92s go ahead and move on. \'93As for Zooier Than Thou, I\'92ll give you my honest feedback. In short, I both like it and don\'92t like it. That is I\'92m not a fan of sketches. And even though I did find some laughs in it, most of the humor just didn\'92t work for me. I like very much when you and Toggle just talk and I hope that the Straight Talk segments of the podcast will grow to be the bulk of it. Because to me, that\'92s where the main value is.\'94 You know, Fausty and I, we talk about the balance there a lot between the talk and the skits. And you know, a lot of these skits are just based on the fallout of random conversations we have. You know, when we brave the Cranbury traffic and grab a bite to eat to do some planning, some of these things just sort of fall out of those conversations, because we think they\'92re really funny. But \'97\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0That\'92s true.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0\'97 we have a particularly stupid sense of humor. So I guess, you know, that\'92s not everyone\'92s cup of tea.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I think, even though our humor is far from perfect, and far from professional, there is a particular branch of Zoo humor that I\'92ve always appreciated myself. And I hope that we can maybe inspire those who are better at humor than we are to participate in future episodes and show us the right way to do it.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Oh, yeah, and we definitely, hopefully are going to expand and get some more ideas. We want to \'97 we want to hear your ideas. So this isn\'92t just, you know, Toggle and Fausty jerking off online. Talking about\'96\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0That\'92s actually a paid channel. If you\'92re interested in the paid channel, we\'92ll go ahead and swap you over there. I mean, only one of us has, you know, balls.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Oh my god.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0So it\'92s really pretty clear who people are paying to see I\'92m just saying \'97\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Look, rats, rats just have squeaky voices, we just have them. But if you ever seen a rat, you know our balls are just massive. Massive balls, squeaky voices. That\'92s how it works.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Wanna know something? I\'92ve never known a stallion who had to tell people he had massive balls. It\'92s weird. Nobody ever had to say that.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I\'92ve never had to defend my balls before! But they are under attack!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Well it\'92s, you don\'92t really have them.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Oh my God.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I mean, someday you will though just keep the faith!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0One day I\'92ll be a real\'85 Rat.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Whatever you are. Anyway,\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0So Love Cat continues: \'93I guess what would appeal to me the most is to hear about the lives and thoughts of others zoos, to paint a picture of us as complete people who have a right to exist and value to bring to the table. I think we can accomplish those goals by simply presenting ourselves as we are. I think that\'92s where you\'92re coming from. However you conduct your podcast, I\'92m just glad that it exists. And I\'92m certainly excited to see where you take it. I think that\'92s going to do it for now. Much love y\'92all. Love Cat.\'94\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Genuinely, thank you so much for an in depth email and for your in depth critique of the podcast so far.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0It was really a pleasure to read, and I only wish we could have fit more of it on the show. Stay defiant, Love Cat!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Up next, a word from our sponsors, followed by Zoo News!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Catch you on the other side, fellow zoos!\
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\f0\b\fs60 \cf2 \cb3 \strokec2 3. This week\'92s sponsors
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\f2\fs30 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Announcer:\'a0
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 This week\'92s podcast is sponsored by:\
Lovin\'92 Lucy\'92s Luscious Lube \'96 Strong enough for a stallion, but made for a mare!\
And also by:\
Whatever project Fausty has going right now. Fausty: he has too many projects going right now.\
And finally:\
Looney Tunes, because Disney won\'92t return our calls. Come back to us Disney! We\'92ll never wrong you again! You had so much money!\
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\f0\b\fs60 \cf2 \cb3 \strokec2 4. Betty\'92s Bestiality Brothel
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\f2\fs30 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Announcer:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Tired of the same old sex with the same old real-life partners day in and day out? Sick of practicing the Kama Sutra with a bunch of faceless, real-life hookups you don\'92t remember the next day? Of course you are! Why not spice things up with a piece of strange that\'92s seriously unreal?\
Visit Betty\'92s Bestiality Brothel and try something new! Betty\'92s is the authority on all things interspecies, from familiar farm animals to otherworldly, exotic beasts from the jungles of India or wherever. No matter how fantastic the fantasy, Betty\'92s can deliver.\
At Betty\'92s Bodacious Bordello, we understand that everyday, normal guys get the urge to try something different. You\'92re not interested in a committed, real-life relationship with a non-human partner full of responsibility and devotion. You\'92re not a zoophile, after all, you\'92re just curious! Curiosity never killed anyone, did it? That\'92s why at Betty\'92s, we offer the very best in imaginary services to sate your sensual desires, no strings attached!\
Prowl with a panther! Canoodle with a camel! Get serviced by the stallion of your dreams! Discover just how bad a dragon can really be! The possibilities are limited only by your imagination, because Betty\'92s Bangin\'92 Brothel is based entirely within your mind! Betty\'92s isn\'92t limited to reality-based experiences, and that sets the stage for us to deliver the brothel experience you\'92ve been dreaming of!\
Look for our brochures at welcome centers throughout Europe and in the rural United States! We\'92re definitely there, without a doubt!\
Or check our website. Sure, there\'92s no physical address there, but that\'92s for your security. Once you click \'93Pay Now,\'94 we\'92ll find the closest non-existing location to your area, no problem. Trust us!\
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To top it all off, and exclusively for our VIP clients with more money than self-honesty, we\'92ll deliver a five-star, four-course dining experience for you and imaginary nonhuman paramours of your choice \'97 it might seem too good to be true, but that\'92s only because it is! Take that gorgeous heifer on the date of her dreams. We\'92ll serve your post-coital feast in your private VIP stall, complete with five-hundred thread-count haystacks! For those with money to burn, Betty\'92s Bombastic Bath-house delivers more than just unreal interspecies sex \'96 all without ever needing to admit you yourself what everyone else\'92s zoodar told them so very long ago.\
If you\'92re looking for a sexual experience you\'92ll never forget, no one does it like Betty\'92s. Literally. No one. No one does it.\
With new, imaginary locations opening everyday, it\'92s easier than ever to visit a Betty\'92s Bestiality Brothel near you! Come on by today!\
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\f0\b\fs60 \cf2 \cb3 \strokec2 5. Zoo News \'96 Weighty Matters
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\f2\fs30 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Alright, let\'92s not waste any more time and jump right into it. Today\'92s topic is a real doozy. The mere mention of our subject\'92s name is enough to ruffle feathers among zoos and non-zoos alike. I was wary of broaching this subject because of the sheer amount of knee-jerk vitriol it can inspire, but there are certain things we feel need to be discussed, so we\'92re exhuming this dead dog again. I\'92m talking, of course, about last fall\'92s furry-world zoosadism shitstorm and the fallout it generated.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0For those of you who are fortunate enough to live under a rock, last autumn, there was a high-profile disclosure of purported evidence of seriously evil behavior by some individuals in the furry fandom. Specifically, claims were made of a massive \'93zoosadism ring\'94 that had been exposed through this and, at least initially, the claim was that this disclosure would result in a widespread \'93cleansing\'94 of such horrific individuals from the furry fandom.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0You\'92re using what I\'92d say is very\'85 careful language in how you describe this, Fausty \'96 language that\'92s not the same as what most people used back then as it was all exploding onto the zoo twitter scene.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Fair enough. Conventionally, this would be identified as the \'93Kero incident\'94 or the \'93zoosadism leaks\'94 \'96 and both of those titles are bullshit. First, connecting this all to Kero, who, as I understand it, is a high-profile furry, is absolutely unfair. Two, these aren\'92t \'93leaks\'94 because there\'92s no way to confirm the authenticity of what\'92s been released \'96 the majority of which is just text that\'92s claimed to be Telegram chat logs. And, unfortunately, some people involved in hyping this up last fall were caught circulating fake and even malware-laden documents during these \'93leaks\'94\'85 so there\'92s no way to know what\'92s real and what\'92s fake, text-wise. So it\'92s important to be clear about what we know is real \'96 basically some pictures and video files \'96 and what\'92s totally uncertain, namely all the \'93chat logs\'94 that got circulated at the time.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0The leaks caused a flood of anti-zoo sentiment in a typically zoo-friendly fandom, and are a primary source of why I originally left Twitter earlier this year. So let\'92s break down what happened, piece by piece. A zoo called Akela released the original accusations on Twitter, tagging several prominent furries and some known anti-zoo groups to alert them that he had uncovered zoosadists hiding in the furry community, and he felt compelled to call them out. He released a slew of allegedly incriminating telegram chat logs with some very alarming and graphic content, featuring conversations and some images revolving around the torture and rape of animals. Kero was called out in all this, although it now seems clear that no real video or picture evidence ever existed implicating him in actual zoosadist activity.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I\'92d like to step back and be clear on this. Zoosadism is the torture of other beings in order to derive pleasure from the pain they experience. This is one of the most horrible, most evil, most fucking disgusting things human beings can do. There is no clinical or documented connection between zoosadism \'96 which resolves around pain and misery and is not \'93sexual\'94 in any meaningful sense \'96 and zoophilia, which is a sexual orientation and involves reciprocal intimacy between adults who chose to engage in sexual relations with each other.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0This is a topic you are really passionate about, Fausty\'85?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Absolutely. As I said, I used to run a high-profile, high-traffic zoo forum and tracker, for years. And during that time we had two incidents involving zoosadists \'96 in both cases I helped track down and neutralize those individuals to the best of my ability, alongside a number of other very courageous and utterly unrelenting zoo colleagues. And what I saw during those episode was\'85 beyond words to describe. It is fucking disgusting, it\'92s\'85 I\'92d do most anything to stop anyone who does these things, anything. So I know about such \'93investigations\'94 firsthand, I know what goes into actually acting to stop such monsters from doing what they do\'85 and I also know how much bullshit those monsters can and will throw up to try to avoid accountability. I\'92ve been there, done that, seen it, have the scars for life from it, and would absolutely do it again if needed.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Meanwhile, last fall, when these accusations dropped, it quickly got tangled up with anti-zoo bigotry on Twitter and elsewhere, and it became almost impossible to disentangle the actual zoosadism claims from broader efforts to \'93out\'94 zoos and, even worse, to intentionally confuse zoos with zoosadists, across the board. Mix in all the excitement of full-bore furry fandom drama, and\'85 yeah. An ugly, confused, angry, unstable mess.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Zoophiles were quick to denounce these acts, and rightfully so. It truly goes without saying \'96 and despite that, of course, we all said it. it\'92s an ugly truth that zoosadists will occasionally put on the guise of being zoos \'96 just like the Randall \'93zoobuster\'94 Pepe example from the old days \'96 so they can try to blend into our community and thus be harder to pinpoint and neutralize. Obviously, that\'92s a fucking stupid move on their part \'96 there\'92s nobody, absolutely nobody, who hates zoosadists more than zoophiles. Nobody. So when such monsters pop up in our world, they\'92re swiftly spotlighted and dealt with \'96 usually quietly, with no big public fanfare, and solely with the aim of ensuring they don\'92t ever hurt anyone again.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Getting back to Kero, he was quick to deny the allegations he faced last fall, and perhaps he was a bit too quick. It would be days before mainstream furry outlets picked up on the logs and spread the information, and with Kero already responding, it set him up as a likely target. What followed was both incredibly interesting and painfully distressing. Accusations began piling up. There were reports that there was video of Kero fucking a dead animal, reports that there was evidence that Kero had engaged in some kind of abuse of a living animal. People claiming to have poured over the leaks extensively pointed the finger at Kero as the primary culprit. Personally, I knew I couldn\'92t stomach the contents of the leaks, so I didn\'92t look. But I felt uncomfortable weighing in on something I wasn\'92t willing to put the research into. Still, I assumed that my fellow zoos were telling the truth. He must have done something wrong to warrant all this hatred. I stayed silent.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0About this time, the DMs started flooding into both my personal account and to the CSA twitter account, calling on me to publicly denounce Kero as a zoosadist. I mean, this was straight-up \'93if you don\'92t denounce Kero right now as a zoosadist, then you\'92re a zoosadism enabler and just as guilty as he is\'94 level pressure. To which I replied, characteristically, that people making such demands on me or anyone else could go fuck themselves. Because obviously I\'92m not denouncing anyone without actual evidence they did something \'96 not just \'93someone said someone else said they heard that some other guy heard that\'94 kindergarten bullshit. I asked to see the evidence, for these accusers to point to images or videos. If the evidence existed, make it public. Not \'93chat logs\'94 which are so trivially easy to fake. And many, many people absolutely assured me that such evidence \'96 pictures and video \'96 existed. People would say, \'93If you dig deep enough, you\'92ll see it.\'94 I got sent links to all sorts of bloated, garbage-filled archives\'85 some of which showed strong indications of carrying malware in them. Months of this, of me publicly asking for actual evidence \'96 privately or publicly \'96 and many people who should and did know better promising the evidence was \'93out there somewhere\'94\'85 What did surface is a video, less than a minute long, of a dog walking around with an erection. A dog. With a boner. Males get erections, it\'92s quite normal and healthy \'96 it\'92s no \'93zoosadism\'94 or abuse or whatever. It\'92s a fucking boner. It wasn\'92t even zooish! So I was really, really suspicious outright that this was a faked-up hit job targeting Kero for totally political reasons, and had zero to do with \'93zoosadism\'94 or with protecting anyone from harm.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I think it\'92s fair to give a little bit of background here. Fausty has himself been the subject of public witch hunts before. Famously, he was arrested for running a \'93bestiality farm\'94 in a small town in Washington\'85\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Ha, hold up \'96 even that\'92s not true! I was actually arrested for violating the \'93spirit of supervised release\'94 (it\'92s a long story, read Uniquely Dangerous if you\'92re interested) \'96 nobody in any legal papers ever made any claims about me running anything. All that \'96 the \'93bestiality farm\'94 \'96 was made up by bigots and journalists.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Ok, interesting correction. From there, news media jumped on the story, reporting about Vaseline-slathered mice used for \'93felching,\'94 reportedly the act of shoving rodents up your ass\'85\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Oh indeed! That\'92s Laura \'93felcher\'94 Clark who imagined this concept of \'93felching\'94 (look there\'92s actually something called felching \'96 it has nothing to do with mice \'96 and if you\'92re curious, and a bit kinky, you\'92ll likely already know what felching actually is\'85)\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Oh, yes. I\'92ll felch you any time you want, Fausty.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Hahaha, OK, not my thing, but hey, that\'92s cool. So Laura Clark claimed to be an expert on the topic. An expert. On the topic of a practice \'96 felching \'96 that\'92s totally different from what she imagined it to be.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Right, so here\'92s the problem: none of it was true. There were mice, but there was no Vaseline, as evidenced by photographs taken at the scene. There was a zoophile living with animals, but there was no animal sex tourism. Here\'92s a fact: bestiality farms don\'92t exist, and \'93gerbiling,\'94 the correct term for the act described, has never been medically documented, not even once. It\'92s a pure urban legend, and is listed as such on Snopes. It\'92s imaginary. So, last fall you\'92ve got people trying to convince someone \'96 Fausty \'96 who has gone through all this, himself, a public smear campaign\'85 people demanding that he participate in exactly the same kind of bullshit targeting someone else.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I mentioned this before, but when it comes to my history, all of this is excruciatingly documented in the book\'a0Uniquely Dangerous, if you\'92re interested in the specifics. Needless to say, I\'92m a bit of a skeptic when it comes to the \'93everyone says this guy did this stuff but there\'92s no actual evidence and if you don\'92t agree then we\'92ll smear you just like him\'94 kind of dynamic\'85 just a little bit.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0As the story spun out of control, new, wild accusations began being spread around. When I heard that Kero had killed his dog, it gave me pause; that was never mentioned originally, and killing a female dog by penetrating her really seemed\'85 well, not impossible but perhaps a bit far fetched. I knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy, and I asked them to check on that for me. Word came back that Kero\'92s dog died in a fight with a neighbor dog, and when I mentioned this online, people immediately jumped on me. \'93How dare you defend Kero! Don\'92t you know he did this and this?\'94 \'93I\'92m not defending Kero,\'94 I replied. \'93But you can\'92t just say things that aren\'92t true. This one thing is definitively not true.\'94\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Oh geez, I forgot about that whole side of things. Yes, there was a phase when the narrative jumped to \'93Kero fucked his dog to death.\'94 Which\'85 really? Of course, zero evidence. Then was it that his dog died of liver disease because he had too many orgasms or\'85 I don\'92t even remember the absurd permutations. And it was all totally fake, obviously. Apparently a dog did die \'96 that\'92s tragic, undoubtedly \'96 of nothing related in any way to sex or boners or fucking or furries or anything whatsoever related to the Telegram disclosures.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Now, Fausty, off-hand, can you name anyone else\'92s name who was leaked in the zoosadist leaks?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I know one other name, but then again I\'92ve spent many hours on this whole ugly situation. And I don\'92t even know a real-life name, just a nickname apparently present in these disclosures.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0That\'92s SnakeThing, right? Because the telegram logs all linked back to that guy.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Right.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I\'92m sure there are a few people who are more intimately familiar with some of the other names that got dropped, but one thing is definitely for sure: no one else involved in the leaks received the time and attention that Kero got.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Oh it\'92s not even close! The online drama queens \'96 especially the creepy-assed closet zoo who runs the \'93ZSIS\'94 twitter account \'96 went on and on and ON about Kero\'85 and minor mentions of maybe some others.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0And what about anyone else? There were more than three people in those leaks, weren\'92t there?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0That\'92s what I\'92m led to believe. A few of the e-mails we got from people during the Hate Party campaign referenced telegram chats involving SnakeThing in their indictments, indicating that there were more people, but no one heard about them. All that noise, all that hype, all those big claims about some alleged zoo allegedly \'93infiltrating\'94 a zoosadism ring, and it boils down to maybe three names, and, umm\'85 crickets. That\'92s it. So the question becomes: Why?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0It becomes important to define what success looks like when you\'92re entering a project like this. If you\'92re going to doxx zoosadists, what is the end goal? What do you want to accomplish?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I\'92ve already disclosed my own history of working with groups to take down zoosadists in the past. For us, it wasn\'92t about getting lauded, or getting people arrested, or getting people ostracized from the community. For us, success was making sure these people could never hurt another animal ever again. Short of that goal, we deemed our efforts a failure. That\'92s pretty fucking simple, isn\'92t it? The reason you go after zoosadist isn\'92t because they \'93make us look bad\'94 or because it\'92s fun or because you don\'92t want them bringing heat on you by being around. You do it because they are monsters and hurt others for pleasure. Damn, that\'92s so damned clear!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0And as animal lovers, that really does seem like the reasonable benchmark for the success of a project like this.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0So using that as a benchmark, let\'92s take a look at these zoosadist leaks and determine how successful they were. Because some of the zoos who were really, really close to all this \'96 they claim they were \'93infiltrating\'94 all this zoosadist talk, but I have my concerns about how they ended up so tangled up in all this as zoos because, me personally, I never seem to get tangled up with zoosadists, you know? \'96 a few of those zoos have claimed great success in all this. And I\'92m really left thinking that\'92s a crock of shit. When I went after monsters like this, the folks I worked with didn\'92t infiltrate anything. We identified the monster in question, confirmed the actions really did occur, and then we did all we could to stop them from doing it any more. Done. This isn\'92t a fucking spy movie, you know? This is real life.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0One obvious highlight is that two of these abusers were arrested. Levi Dane Simmons, otherwise known as SnakeThing, and Marrero Pernas, who was arrested in Cuba.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0There are a few problems with considering these wins, however. For me, I haven\'92t seen evidence that Levi Dane Simmons is actually SnakeThing and not some random newspaper clipping about animal abuse that was used to say, \'93Look! We did it!\'94 Further, newspapers are not a good source for zoo-related news. And the people who claim that they can vouch for the truth of that have also admitted to me that they\'92ve lied about other parts of this, quite publicly and loudly, along the way. So I can\'92t really trust them in good conscience. So maybe that\'92s Snakething and maybe not \'96 but because of the lying and bullshit smeared all over this mess, it\'92s by now basically impossible to figure out the truth.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Well, now, Fausty, let\'92s give that the benefit of the doubt. Your life experiences tend to lead toward suspicion to that end, but we\'92re talking about zoophiles who led the charge on this project.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Well\'85 not so fast. Let\'92s not forget the deeply disturbing fact that several of the zoos involved in this shameful mess intentionally outed someone who they identify as a zoo because, it\'92s claimed, they \'93had do\'94 in order to do something something. It\'92s all secret, can\'92t tell anyone, so I\'92m told\'85 but the admission has been made that at least one zoo was intentionally outed. By other zoos. And, to me, that\'92s way over a red line. Way over. And those who have admitted to doing this have offered zero defense other than \'93we had to, because reasons.\'94 Which is hard to swallow, given that they have admitted to lying about other parts of this. And when we get to zoos outing zoos\'85 well, we\'92re right back to Randy Pepe and the suicides and murdered families that come from outing zoos and, nope, I\'92m not on page with that.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Aside from that, and assuming that these two arrests are legitimately tied directly to the zoosadist links, what are the issues?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0The obvious issue \'96 even if we make those generous assumptions \'96 is in the follow-up: what happens after these people are arrested? For all we know, these folks are out on bail, still abusing animals. Not only that, but the punishment for animal abuse \'96 real abuse, involving real death or pain or suffering to nonhumans, not imaginary \'93moral abuse\'94 or panics involving dogs with boners \'96 in most states? Thirty days in jail, if that. In Cuba? Ha, I\'92d be surprised if that led to any sort of substantial punishment. Listeners can correct us if we\'92re wrong on this, but I\'92m not seeing anyone doing years in prison on any of this \'96 even if they\'92re convicted, which thus far I\'92ve not heard any claim that\'92s happened, or will happen.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I\'92d think that they\'92d be a bit harsher in Cuba in general.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0For animal abuse charges? Not a chance. There was that case recently of a couple of shit-stain \'93kill for fun\'94 hunters who went in the den of a hibernating bear and her cubs and murdered then, laughing the whole way through. That\'92s flagrantly illegal, and they lied to officers investigating the crime. Nope, no sir, we didn\'92t kill no mama bear and her cubs \'96 we\'92re Great White Hunters! Fucking scum got caught on camera doing the murders. Caught. On camera. After lying to cops. And the older shitstain did a few weeks in jail. The younger psychopath? Zero jail time. Slap on the wrist. That\'92s absolutely typical, absolutely. So, for all the huffing and puffing about Kero that went on for months, there\'92s been effectively zero in the way of public follow-up regarding these two arrests. The \'93Investigation Squad\'94 with their kiddie twitter logo and kiddie bragging about their secret decoder ring exploits? They packed up shop and are back playing Pokemon, or whatever \'96 zero interest in things when it comes to actually stopping actual abuse. It was all a public stunt for that whole cadre of creeps. Look: you can\'92t just congratulate yourself and call it a job well done with an arrest. That\'92s, at best, a first step. At worst, it\'92s an irrelevant distraction. These monsters are likely right back at it, or soon to be \'96 and nobody\'92s following up one bit. So that\'92s supposed to be \'93success?\'94 Pardon me whilst I don\'92t join in with the celebratory blowjobs, sorry.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Now, with your zoosadist projects, you didn\'92t go to the public with your victories, as I recall.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0This is true. But our investigations weren\'92t public to begin with. You have to wonder why such a public display would suddenly go quiet when it came to the actual results of their actions. All the hype upfront, zero hype about tangible results. That\'92s a fucking disgrace, is what it is. This stuff isn\'92t some twitter game, like the Ice Bucket Challenge for creepy half-closeted basket cases. This is real. Torture is a real horror, and when it really happens it is all of our ethical obligation to stop it! Not to fucking make a cool logo and fucking tweet about it\'85\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0So, it\'92s a little early to claim the arrests are a victory. But, at the very least, the leaks managed to stop a high-profile name from gaining social power that would have allowed him to continue abusing animals, right?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0You\'92re talking about Kero, right?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Indubitably.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Well, no. As I\'92ve hinted at throughout, some of these \'93infiltrators\'94 admitted to me that there was never any real evidence that Kero is a zoosadist, and that they knew from the very beginning that no such evidence existed, but they actively spread that narrative because, \'93Oh, if you only knew what I knew, you\'92d understand why it had to happen.\'94 When it comes to Kero, it looks far more likely to me that what happened is a fairly popular fur got assassinated publicly by others perhaps jealous of his popularity \'96 others who were willing to fatally corrupt an actual investigation into actual horrifically evil actions by totally different people altogether. That\'92s hardly a \'93victory for the animals,\'94 is it? Oh and also at least one zoo was intentionally outed by other zoos, for spotty reasons I can\'92t even guess at because they are secret and also pretty improbable to be honest. So that\'92s our scorecard: a political hit job, a zoo outed.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0So after all of the repeated cries for you to publicly denounce Kero, the same people admitted that there was no evidence that Kero had actually committed any animal abuse?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Absolutely correct.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Going back over the giant public display, I do realize that at the end of it all, people basically started conceding that, \'93I don\'92t know what Kero did, but he definitely did it.\'94 Thinking back to all the people who swore up and down that they read those leaks, I recall when someone admitted to me that as far as they could tell, Kero maybe jerked off a dog or made one lick his dick.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0To my knowledge, that is NOT proved! The one video that ever surface, which allegedly had Kero\'92s legs in it, didn\'92t show any of that. It showed a dog with a boner. That doesn\'92t make Kero a zoo, and doesn\'92t prove anything other than the fact that male dogs can get boners \'96 unless they are victims of human genital mutilation, that is.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Ok, and yet somehow, that alone was enough to justify completely slaughtering this young man in the court of public opinion\'85 and actually what seems to have happened is that he was massacred and blamed for the death of his own dog when in fact he was grieving the loss of that dog as a result of an accident that occurred when he wasn\'92t even in the same state. And that\'92s really awful, isn\'92t it? If that\'92s how this all plays out, it\'92s really shameful for all of us that we let this happen.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0So you ask yourself, \'93What did this absolute character assassination do in the end?\'94 Well, as far as I can tell, it made for a really good shield for the real abusers to make their getaway. One thing that is characteristic of all sociopathic monsters like zoosadists is their willingness to throw others under the bus to make a clean escape. That I have seen every time I\'92ve been involved in hunting them down, from Randy Pepe onwards. (Randy was himself an admitted zoosadist \'96 not a zoophile \'96 and wrote an autobiography in which he recounted suffocating his Dobermans as part of his sickening power-warped concept of \'93sex\'94). And, yes, it\'92s clear to me that there was absolutely some smokescreening that happened here, and that it worked. Some monsters got away clean, and they did so at the expense of Kero who was the lightning rod for hatred and abuse. And many, many people \'96 zoos and furries alike \'96 who could and did know better did nothing to stop this from happening. Some, in fact, have a record of perhaps enabling it\'85 intentionally or not.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Certainly, very few other names actually entered the public discourse, and undeniably, no name was subject to more consistent vitriol than Kero\'92s. So what about the other abusers? What happened to the ring of people around SnakeThing, and why has no one been talking about them?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0In the end, as far as we can ascertain here at Zooier Than Thou, this whole sorry episode has failed to protect nonhumans from being the victim of the monsters on two legs that are zoosadists. By focusing on one person \'96 a scapegoat, easy to target because visible and high-profile (I know how that works) \'96 and willfully creating lies surrounding them, we\'92ve all played a role in allowing the true monsters to walk away clean, for the most part, so they can continue perpetuating their horrific tortures on other beings in the future.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0There\'92s no saving Kero at this point. The damage is done. I\'92d say he might never recover, only I noticed recently that Monica Lewinski is doing pretty well these days. Still, he will always be Kero the Zoosadist, and this podcast isn\'92t going to change that. So what can we do?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0First off, I personally hope that Kero can survive this terrible episode and \'96 whatever his strengths or failings as a person and as a young man in the community \'96 use this experience to become a stronger, wiser, more compassionate man. I hope that he can take what happened to him and make something good of it. It won\'92t be easy \'96 I of all people know how fucking hard it is \'96 but it is possible and it is absolutely a worthy goal. I don\'92t know Kero, never met him and never interacted with him, but I personally offer my support in his efforts to create for himself a good path forward \'96 whatever that means for him and his loved ones. And I, for whatever it\'92s worth, offer to him my condolences for what he\'92s been through. Whether he ran with the wrong crowd or said some things in chats that are themselves indefensible, I hope that he doesn\'92t let this crush him or, worse yet, turn him into the monster everyone accused him of being. The strong path forward is for him to prove all those spineless, lying, cowardly scumbags who set him up as a sacrifice so they could cover up other crimes that he\'92s not who they painted him to be \'96 that he\'92s better than that, and that he grows into the compassionate, caring, loving man waiting within him. Two, I hope that we can ALL be more critical of accusations in the future, and more wary of our eagerness to jump on a bandwagon as a community. Let\'92s all double-down on our dedication to winnow the facts from the fantasies, the reality from the rumors, and the evil from the errata. There is genuine evil out there. There\'92s monsters like Randy Pepe or Rainstirs who cause pain for their own pleasure. They are the real targets \'96 the eternal targets \'96 of anyone who rejects torture as a fun pastime. The only way we can keep our lookout for those real monsters is to stop being distracted by hot air and political gibberish that\'92s falsely painted as being about \'93stopping zoosadism,\'94 period.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Perhaps we can also salvage the good bits of the investigation and start keeping a public record of who\'92s involved and what\'92s been done to stop them from abusing animals.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0To that end, we would love to hear from the community about any real, factual information you\'92ve gathered so we can try to put together a real picture of what\'92s going on, without obfuscation and falsehoods. Just as important if not more so, if anything we\'92ve said today isn\'92t accurate \'96 if we\'92ve gotten the facts wrong, big or small \'96 please, correct us! You can do that privately \'96 just tell us \'96 and we\'92ll honor that request. Or, better yet, correct us and let us air that correction in a future podcast so everyone can benefit from your better knowledge of what happened.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Also, please, no links to KiwiFarms \'97 an ironically named troll site that\'92s not endorsed by actual Kiwis.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Oh well, the degenerate Nazi-loving nobodies at Kumquat Farms managed to out themselves as the white supremacist losers everyone already knew them to be, and they\'92ve picked a fight with LEO in .nz. Good luck with that, morons\'85\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Alright, so this has been a rather heavy topic for our lighthearted show. Let\'92s take off our \'93serious business zoo\'94 hats and get to what you really came here for \'97 terrible zoo puns.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Stay tuned for the good stuff, right after this.\
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\fs60 \cf2 \cb3 \strokec2 6. Secret Zoo \'96 The Great Zoophile Conspiracy
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\f2\fs30 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Announcer:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0(rad voice)\'a0You\'92re listening to National Enquirer radio: the hottest gossip with the least amount of scrutiny.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Host:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Good evening, Enquirers. I\'92m pleased to welcome back to the show history buff and outraged citizen journalist, Tuck Tubthumper. Tuck, it\'92s good to see you.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0(with an excessive amount of malice)\'a0It\'92s good to be back, Jeff.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Now, Tuck, you say you have the exclusive scoop on a secret zoophile conspiracy, involving everyone from Hollywood elites to simple corn farmers in the midwest.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0That\'92s right, Jeff. What I\'92ve got is gonna shake the very foundation of our society.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0That\'92s pretty intense. Why don\'92t you walk us through it from the beginning?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0The beginning is the perfect place to start. Anatomically Modern Humans stemmed from tribes in Africa.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Wait a second Tuck, I didn\'92t mean the beginning of human history!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Oh, no, Jeff. This shit goes deep. We need to go all the way back.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Seriously?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Serious as a tick on a taint! These early humans migrated from Sub-Saharan Africa up into Western Africa and into modern-day Europe, found some cozy places to settle, and set up camp. You\'92re familiar with the term Cro-Magnon, right Jeff?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Uh, kind of. Like cave men?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0No, Jeff, not cavemen. The Cro-Magnon tribes were the first modern humans, the first humans to resemble what humans look like today. And like humans today, they were prone to\'85 distasteful proclivities.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Distasteful proclivities, like what?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Oh, Jeff, if only you knew! You think these dirty \'93zoophiles\'94 today are bad? Wait \'92til you hear what these Cro-Magnon humans did.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I\'92m on the edge of my seat, Tuck.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0So, you\'92re a modern human. Proud. Tall. Upright. You wield dominion over nature. You make fire, tools, weapons. You create languages. You\'92re the real deal. Then along comes this\'85 beast, bulky, short, covered in fur. Its young clings to its mother\'92s furry breast. Make no mistake, Jeff, we\'92re talking about a wild animal, the likes of which the Cro-Magnon people had never seen before.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0I\'92m followin\'92 you, Tuck.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Naturally, when you see a wild animal, what do you do, as a proud human?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Hunt it? Eat it?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0You\'92d think that, wouldn\'92t you. But early modern man had other plans. Early modern man decided to fuck it.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Wait, are you saying that this was a regular occurrence?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0It became the gold standard. Cro-Magnon men lined up to fuck these animals, while the women sought out the beast\'92s thick, stocky cock.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Jesus! How could we have never heard of this before?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Oh, you might have heard it tossed around without realizing it. You ever heard of Neanderthals, Jeff?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Uh\'85 cave men?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0No, Jeff, not cave men. Hardly men at all! Overgrown monkeys, more like. Humans got it on with neanderthals like zoos get it on with cattle. These beasts that humans were having sex with were animals. Animals!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0That\'92s just horrible! Are you really telling me this whole group of humans were raping animals too dumb to consent like it was\'85 natural or normal?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 : They sure were, just like it was the most\'a0normal\'a0thing in the world. There wasn\'92t anybody there to tell them how depraved it all was! But there\'92s and even bigger problem that all this sex with animals nastiness caused \'96 and let\'92s just be glad that it isn\'92t one modern zoophiles get to experience.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0What\'92s that, Tuck?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0They didn\'92t just fuck each other, those humans and their animal \'93partners\'94\'85 they made babies, Jeff: they\'a0interbred! Tainting our proud, pure, human blood with filthy, disgusting, dumb animal DNA. Neanderthal/Human families popped out babies like there was no tomorrow: little monsters, each and every one a rebuke of the purity of the\'a0human race!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0So you\'92re saying that humans fucked animals\'85 and these unholy couplings produced\'a0babies?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Stranger than fiction, let me tell you. Not only did these humans disgrace their sacred racial purity by having carnal relations with those disgusting animals, but they even lived together as if\'a0humans were just another kind of animal!\'a0They raised their impure children together, creating an entire new generation of corrupted half-humans. If this had happened today, those babies would have been put down, just like we do for the poor animal rape victims of modern-day zoophiles. But this was a whole different world. And this nightmare of tainted love went on for years\'85 centuries, even!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Wow, that\'92s depravity the likes of which I\'92ve never heard before! Can you imagine if that happened today?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0But, Jeff, I\'92m sorry I have to tell you this but\'85 that curse isn\'92t just in the past. It\'92s much much worse than that.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Really?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Oh, Jeff, you sweet, delicate flower of a man. Think about what I just said. Early man\'92s lust for strange, passionate, exciting furry sex has had untold effects on\'a0modern\'a0human kind. Just about every one of us humans alive today is the product of interspecies sex: we\'92re direct descendants of the unspeakable sin of bestiality! Our very genetic heritage is tainted with the carnal love for animals; it\'92s inside us, it\'92s part of\'a0who we are! We\'92re mongrels, Jeff. We\'92ve got that\'a0animal DNAin our genes. Our immune systems, Jeff? We got those from Neanderthals.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Oh, God, I think I\'92m gonna be sick.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0And humans didn\'92t stop with the Neanderthals, either. Modern man travelled into Asia and fucked those impure, stupid, nonhuman Denisovian animals as well! Those people back then\'85 they really just acted like the \'93species barrier\'94 was some imaginary thing\'85 like there wasn\'92t a Beautiful Wall separating humanity from the filthy, disgusting, dumb animals. Those people just lived and loved whomever they chose!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Absolutely incredible.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0And this leads us to the modern zoophile agenda. Just like our ancient Cro-magnon ancestors, these depraved individuals have the drive to have sex with any mammal that wants to do the two-backed beast with a human. They don\'92t care if they\'92re shaped exactly like them or not. They don\'92t care! All they care about is, well I guess they just care about love, Jeff. But not the pure, wholesome love where you make sure everyone stays in line with a healthy dose of social pressure and condemnation. And I bet they\'92d go on loving even after they know the risk of getting fucked by someone who isn\'92t human: they\'92d go on with all that loving even if they knew how our pure human genes got polluted by animal DNA by all those ancient human zoophiles, loving anything that loved them back! They\'92d corrupt us again, Jeff! Filthy animal sperm tainting our pure human DNA! Can you imagine it? The pure uniformity of humans, spoiled by love. Disgusting\'85 just beyond comprehension\'85.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0You think that\'92s possible? Isn\'92t there a chromosome incompatibility?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Look Jeff, I have uncovered something that few of us \'93Normal\'94 humans know; zoophile scientists have been working on the problem for decades, and they\'92re\'a0close to a solution. I\'92ve seen the research with my own eyes, Jeff. Haven\'92t you ever noticed these animal fuckers always insist on their animals being left \'93in-tact\'94? They all act like respecting the bodily integrity of their beloveds is some sort of\'85 moral thing, or whatever. But obviously there\'92s a dark, secret explanation for that kind of weird \'93respect those you love\'94 cover story. And now I have figured it out: zoos don\'92t cut pieces off their family members\'85 so that they can harvest their semen and their eggs and use them to make future generations of cross-species children! They\'92re secretly trying to take over the world with furry, weirdly-sexy, half-human/half-animal children! Jeff, zoos are trying to make furries real \'96 there, I said it. It\'92s wild stuff, Jeff, let me tell you.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0That\'92s mind-blowing. I can hardly believe something like that exists!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0This conspiracy goes deep, Jeff. Hollywood Zooluminati elites fund these experiments, while zoo farmers provide ample samples to zoo scientists in Silicon Valley. Zoos spread hateful, disturbing propaganda about \'93mutual respect\'94 and \'93inter-species symbiosis\'94 and \'93love transcends\'94 to recruit new test subjects to their cause through Twitter accounts like the Cross Species Alliance, run by one of the most prominent figures in the Zooluminati. I\'92m not naming names, but it sounds alot like\'85\'a0jousty.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Wow, when you said you had a bombshell, you sure delivered, Tuck.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Tuck:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0All I\'92m doing is spreading the truth, so we can stop this conspiracy in its tracks before we end up with gross human hybrids \'96 like the whole world is just one big con and they\'a0are\'a0their fursona, forever \'96 taking over our government and forcing us all to\'85 well, to get violated by big horny half-human studs bent on planting their seed wherever it\'92ll take root. You know furries, Jeff\'85 just think about a world of nonstop murrs. If we don\'92t stop the Zooluminati, that\'92s the future we all face: love, kindness, compassion\'85 and lots of sweaty, happy, musky furry drama. The horror\'85 the horror.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Jeff:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Thanks for the scoop, Tuck. Stay vigilant, Enquirers! We\'92ve got more Enquiries coming up after this!\
\'a0\
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\f0\b\fs60 \cf2 \cb3 \strokec2 7. Ask Zooey
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\f2\fs30 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Zooey:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Welcome back to Ask Zooey, the premiere program for cross-species romantic advice. I\'92m your host, Zooey Deschanel\'85\'92s canine drag queen look alike, Zooey!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0And I\'92m her paramour-at-arms, Toggle Rattington III, Esq.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Zooey:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Remember, if you\'92re in need of your own romantic advice, we\'92ve recently streamlined the process so that it\'92s easier than ever to have your questions answered on-air before a canned studio audience! Simply message us @AskZooey on Twitter, or send us an anonymous e-mail through the form at zoo.wtf with the subject \'93Ask Zooey!\'94\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Much easier than sending a canine strip-o-gram, and a lot less expensive, too!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Zooey:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Today\'92s letter comes from Stressed Stud in Straightsville, and it\'92s quite the doozy! Rat-servant, will you please do the honors?\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Your wish is my command. Stressed Stud writes: \'93Dear Zooey\'85 Look, here\'92s the deal. I\'92m a red-blooded, hooves-to-ears, balls-deep stallion: The real deal: a stud. People brag about being hung like me, you know? And I love mares. Nothing gets me goin\'92 like a mare in heat. Sloppy, sticky, squealy, straight-slammin\'92 mare-y good fun! I want all the mares, everywhere, in my herd. I got \'92em covered \'96 real talk. They love me, I\'92m Mr. Satisfaction to my lovely ladies, I am! Never even looked at another stallion\'92s junk before! Why would I? I know he\'92s not got anything I can\'92t outdo so no sense wondering. Even if sometimes a guy does wonder, and you know it\'92s just curiosity is all! Anyway I don\'92t do that, I\'92m a stallion\'92s-stallion \'96 I mean I only bang mares, all the mares all the time.\'94\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Zooey:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Hmm\'85 methink the stallion doth protest too much.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0It\'92s just that, there\'92s this new stableboy on the farm. I mean, I noticed him right away since he\'92s got that, strut, you know\'85 like he\'92s got it all goin\'92 on? Well sure he\'92s not a real guy, he\'92s just human, but it\'92s a decent try at real stallion charisma is all. That\'92s gonna draw your eye, right? Not a stallion, just a human ok? Yeah, well, also when he\'92s cleaning my stall he always gives me just-right scritches\'85 like, he knows where I\'92m wishing for a bit of a nice touch. I\'92m just sayin\'92 it\'92s really neat how he learns my needs and knows how to make a guy feel comfortable. So sometimes, I\'92d just like to, you know\'85 listen, is it really super gay to just sorta, you know\'85 give a special sorta nicker to\'85 just this human guy? And if he notices and wants to maybe do some off-the-books collections, just he and I \'96 it\'92s not like I decided to do that, because it\'92s him that makes the first move. Obviously. And all I did was nicker, so not like I was tossing a leg over his shoulder for a quick hump or anything! Anyway, just asking generally. Like I said, love mares, totally not gay. Not into guys \'96 real guys, I mean: stallions \'96 no way! But sometimes when I\'92m belly-slappin\'92 I get to maybe thinking about that stable boy\'92s soft little hooves stroking smoothly on my shaft\'85 caressing my balls right before I cum\'85 his head buried under my tail, his tongue in me\'85 Err so anyway \'96 it\'85 wouldn\'92t be gay, right? Because, like, it\'92s not with a real stallion or anything! That\'92s gay, man! I\'92m just\'85 he\'92s only a human so it can\'92t be gay! I\'92m just attracted to the little dude\'92s great personality, is all \'96 but in an \'93it\'92s just a human\'94 kind of way, you know? So that\'92s not gay\'85 is it? What if he makes the first move and I just go along? Not gay, right?\'94\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Zooey:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0You know, it\'92s a shame that in this day and age, homosexuality is still so taboo that people are still repressing those kinds of feelings.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Well, particularly in the rural United States, there\'92s still a lot of stigma surrounding homosexual activity. It can get you in trouble even today.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Zooey:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0There\'92s also often a supposition that you\'92re either gay, or you\'92re straight. But here\'92s the truth, Stud: Sexuality exists on a spectrum, or even more accurately, in an amorphous cloud of possibilities that\'92s difficult to define. It\'92s completely possible to be attracted to mares and still find the stableboy attractive. You can have both! But Stud, what concerns me most is your repression of these feelings in the context of your masculinity. You can be the manly, well-hung stud\'a0and\'a0nicker at the stable boy. You can even wonder what that other stallion in the stable looks like when he\'92s hard. Being interested in the same sex doesn\'92t make you less of a stud, whether its with another stallion or just a human.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0And it\'92s also possible that your sexuality varies by species. I\'92ve always been partial to other guys, in general, but I have to admit to a certain attraction when it comes to mares, just like you have.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Zooey:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0My advice to you, Stud, is to embrace all the facets of your sexuality, and don\'92t get hung up on labels like \'93gay\'94 and \'93straight.\'94 These labels are only useful to easily convey our sexual preferences to others, but they become uselessly restrictive when we try to confine ourselves into those boxes. A stud\'92s stud like you, Stud, can please all the mares\'a0and\'a0be interested in males at the same time without changing who you are fundamentally as a person. Furthermore, don\'92t let anyone make you feel lesser because of how you feel about stable boys. You\'92re a proud stallion, and nothing\'92s going to change that.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Thank you for such an honest and vulnerable question, Stud. Best of luck wooing the stable boy of your dreams!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Zooey:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0That\'92s all the time we have for today! But remember, if your heart\'92s full of burning desire and burning questions, drop us a line, and we\'92ll be happy to help you out!\
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\f0\b\fs60 \cf2 \cb3 \strokec2 8. Outro
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\f2\fs30 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Thanks, friends, for listening to Zooier Than Thou. And sorry for the length of this episode! We\'92ll try to be a little bit more concise next time!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0You can subscribe to the podcast via our RSS feed: just point your favorite podcast client at rss.zoo.wtf and off you go.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Our podcast\'92s website is, yep, zoo.wtf. Twitter @ZooierThanThou, and you can follow Zooey\'92s knotty advice @AskZooey.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0You can contact me, co-host Fausty, through his website, fausty.org, or by clicking your heels three times and saying, \'93I\'92m zooey and I wanna go home.\'94 Maybe.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0All nonhumans who helped make this podcast happen promise that they haven\'92t done sexy things to their helpless human paramours\'85 unless the humans consented in advance.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Zooier Than Thou isn\'92t trademarked and you can share it with anyone you want \'96 it\'92s provided under the ZPL licensing program.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Human males and stallions don\'92t have bones in their penises \'96 weird, huh? Dogs certainly think so!\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Fausty:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Be nice to each other. It\'92s the sexiest, zooiest thing you can do.\

\f2\b \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 Toggle:
\f1\b0 \cf4 \cb3 \strokec4 \'a0Hell yeah! Stay Defiant, fellow zoos! We\'92ll see you next time you feel like howling at the moon!\
}