index? I have a problem with instant messengers, especially with groups

[Mikaela]

If I have instant messengers running, I end up checking interesting discussions in them a lot and interrupting myself even without notifications. On my "productivity" phone, I had to force stop IM apps and mark them as hidden in KISS Launcher in order to perform a single pomodoro of language learning.

Affects especially: IRC (IRC addition was a thing before social media was even heard of), XMPP (due to IRC bridging and https://search.jabbercat.org/) and Telegram (which seems to be the worst nowadays or competing with IRC depending on group set).

Affects partially: Wire which some people are using for bigger groups I am involved in and also volunteering in PTIO team chat.

Mostly fine: Signal (which requires trusting everyone as phone numbers are the only way to contact people) and GNU/Jami.net (as no one uses it).

It's midnight and I am going to sleep and sleeping like my sleep cycle should go rather than being awake from hours still. This issue is here as a request for suggestions how to find a solution and a reminder for me to work on this.

[Mikaela]

https://gitea.blesmrt.net/mikaela/shell-things/commit/29de6202ac602fb5555a1f6b68ea9ca0fe6a240b - i3: don't autostart Dino or Telegram

[Mikaela]

• https://gitea.blesmrt.net/mikaela/shell-things/commit/0eb7ec20518a076ae8ec86dcfd30ba838d430592 - i3: autostart Signal... (3 weeks ago)
• https://gitea.blesmrt.net/mikaela/shell-things/commit/cffaacd9ed992fddf389c631931cf8c46dc230de - i3: autostart Steam (family is the worst?) (3 days ago)
• https://gitea.blesmrt.net/mikaela/shell-things/commit/6efb40562a5534826867e78c3b85ed0415aeb7e6 - i3: restore Wire to autostart due to unforeseen circumstances (20 hours ago)
• https://gitea.blesmrt.net/mikaela/shell-things/commit/57a24353c5d094bf41ad5989eaf41c04627f5e95 - i3: restore a lot of IM autostarts giving up hope (5 minutes ago)

[Mikaela]

Plan:

• going through i3 autostarts and those that aren't related to family and very close friends will leave.
• removing XMPP bookmarks that aren't related to ^^
  • asking to be re-invited to very silent ones if someone misses me into them
• resetting XMPP password and deleting client configs so public MUCs hopefully won't reappear.
• when possible telling people to call me if they need me (and know me) so I will take a look at the message even if they hung up immediately.

[Mikaela]

Additional plan: xmpp:mikaela@disroot.org returns for public/big groupchats, so I can flip one toggle to disconnect not-family/friends/polycule.

[Mikaela]

• https://gitea.blesmrt.net/mikaela/shell-things/commit/ad76f2ba33f2b00d088d0220110c7ccaeb69bb9e - cleaning up autostarts

[Mikaela]

I think this may be under control with https://gitea.blesmrt.net/mikaela/scripts/src/branch/master/bash/comms.bash and kdocker and phones having muted other notifications than XMPP which has had to move to another phone.

Apartment temperature (25.9 C), headaches and similar aren't under control though.