This was a personal assistant I tried writing in the '00s. It's supposed 
to be PHP with reloadable classes serving as modules.

It was going to be a daemon supporting multiple interfaces (web,
IRC, and XMPP) for commands / notifications / etc, but that didn't
pan out. PHP can't natively redefine classes and the PECL extension
for it (runkit / classkit) was fucking broken and wouldn't reload
a class that extended something.

As a result, I did some horrible hack that either didn't work well
(memory issue maybe? I don't fucking remember if it even worked
at all) and abandoned the project.

Let this serve as a monument to PHP sucking dick.