That functionality you wanted in Hacker News, well, the open to new windows without thinking part at least... This PHP file, placed on your personal server (only for personal use) should read the HackerNews website and modify the links included such that they open in a new window.
I've been working with php for a couple of years now, mostly to prototype ideas I have, mostly work outside of my "normal" profession. Today was the last day I accidentally navigate away from HN to the article I clicked on.