You take out your phone and take a selfie. You look at the picture.
It's too blurred to see well.
You use the fork as a make-shift selfie-stick and try again.
Oh no! You are made of marshmallow!
Did your fairy godmother come back again? How did this happen?
This sudden revelation has now complicated the matter.
You hate marshmallows but can you really hate yourself?
The next logical step then is to: