inline compatible jq args to support --in-place

[clux]

• preliminary work fixing trailing vararg quirks by inlining common jq flags inside our args
• add explicit file arg to help this and fix awkward stdin detection
• rename -i to --input (people can alias tq=yq --input=toml as a one time thing where it's more readable with the full arg)
• add new -i / --in-place that requires file arg