kvserver: include only voters in state replicate when checking if range can make progress on replication changes

[kvoli]

Is your feature request related to a problem? Please describe.

When making replication changes, the proposer will check that the range can make progress:

cockroach/pkg/kv/kvserver/replica_command.go

Lines 2386 to 2394 in b06849b

	if !replicas.CanMakeProgress(
	func(rDesc roachpb.ReplicaDescriptor) bool {
	for _, inner := range liveReplicas {
	if inner.ReplicaID == rDesc.ReplicaID {
	return true
	}
	}
	return false
	}) {

This check excludes non-live voters from the perspective of node liveness, but doesn't consider the raft status of replicas.

This can lead to replication changes which result in temporary unavailability like seen in #114349.

Where replicas which are behind StateSnapshot are included in the quorum, despite not participating until being caught up.

Describe the solution you'd like

Exclude replicas which are not in StateReplicate when assessing if the range can make progress here:

https://github.com/cockroachdb/cockroach/blob/b06849b9a2a2c0aab6950764ddff1bb125119df5/pkg/kv/kvserver/replica_command.go#L2386C30-L2386C30

Jira issue: CRDB-33570

[erikgrinaker]

We should probably check that they're not lagging too much either, for some reasonable value of "too much".