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paws_pages.py
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paws_pages.py
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#!/usr/bin/python
# -*- coding: utf-8 -*-
from __future__ import division
import datetime
def page (number, transcript, annotation = ""):
result = {
"xcf_base": "thorough_p" + str (number),
"force_date": datetime.date (2011, 1, 26),
"auto_paragraphs": True,
"transcript": transcript, "annotation": annotation}
if annotation != "":
result ["edited_significantly_from_old_website"] = True
return result
pages = [
page (1,'''TITLE: PEOPLE ARE WRONG SOMETIMES <br/><br/> The title is in a thought bubble. The thought continues: ...even about things they should know closely. I don't like it when people are wrong. <br/><br/> The thought bubble is coming from Ilse. Ilse is drawn with simple shapes, straight lines, and sharp corners. Most of the page is black-and-white. The only color is a bright red item worn by Ilse. Sometimes the item is a sash, sometimes it is a shoulder pad, and sometimes it is a bracelet. In the first image, where Ilse is thinking, Ilse has closed eyes and a slight frown. Usually, none of Ilse's facial features are drawn.
<br/><br/>
Ilse closes a door behind zem.
<br/><br/>
ILSE (thinking): I'm glad I'm out of there.
<br/><br/>
Ilse begins walking away.
<br/><br/>
ILSE (thinking): Fuckin' parties.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA (yelling from off-page): ILSE!'''),
page (2,'''Lucia runs up. Lucia is done in a much more detailed style than Ilse. Ze is wearing shorts and a sports shirt with blue shoulders. (Everything except that blue, and the red on Ilse, is still black-and-white.) Lucia is usually drawn with eyes and a mouth, and often smiles.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: I knew you'd sneak out!
<br/><br/>
ILSE: Lucia...
<br/><br/>
Lucia's speech, and Ilse's thoughts on the previous page, were drawn in a handwritten-looking style. However, when Ilse speaks to Lucia, ze speaks in a mechanical font.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: You're my best friend... No way am I going to let you run off all by yourself!
<br/><br/>
Lucia puts a hand on Ilse's shoulder.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: I know you don't like parties, but you should really try harder!
<br/><br/>
ILSE: I guess...
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: We're all going to be off to college in no time, and this is our only graduation party. Come back with us – you'll have lots of fun.
<br/><br/>
ILSE: Like I was having already?
<br/><br/>
ILSE: Compromise: I'll take you to the cafe downtown.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: Alright... But you'll miss everyone...
<br/><br/>
ILSE: No. I don't care about any of them.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: What's gotten into you?
<br/><br/>
Ilse pauses, turns around, and stares at Lucia.
<br/><br/>
ILSE: Honesty.'''),
page (3,'''Ilse walks through the doors of a café.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: You've been quiet...
<br/><br/>
ILSE: I'd rather talk in here.
<br/><br/>
Ilse points out a booth in the café. They both sit down, facing each other. Six other people are sitting at tables in the background.
<br/><br/>
ILSE: I leave tomorrow. Someone with a cousin in Cali. I won't see most of you again...
<br/><br/>
ILSE: ...so I don't have to pretend anymore.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: I'll be so...
<br/><br/>
Inside the speech bubble, we see Lucia sitting on a bench with a blue cloud hovering over zem. Ze is thinking sadly about Ilse. In the speech bubbles where Lucia is talking about Ilse, Ilse is drawn in a curvy style, instead of the usual straight lines and sharp corners, and ze has zir eyes and mouth visible as well.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: And you'll be so...
<br/><br/>
Inside of the speech bubble, we see Ilse standing in front of the Golden Gate Bridge, which is drawn in bright red. Ilse is thinking sadly about Lucia.
<br/><br/>
ILSE: No. I'll find someone else to get my "good friend" fix from. I won't miss you.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: But...!'''),
page (4,'''LUCIA: No offense, but that's absurd! Think of everything we've done together!
<br/><br/>
Three more speech bubbles come from Lucia. In each of them, we see a memory of Lucia and Ilse having fun together. In one, they are playing a board game with another two friends. In one, they win a game of doubles tennis and high-five each other. In one, they dress up as characters from Star Wars and fight with fake lightsabers.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: We have years of shared experiences between us, and we'll keep that wherever we go. Friends don't disappear when you part with them; they become part of you. And the memory of them comes back to you, whether you want it to or not. And you miss them.
<br/><br/>
ILSE: I'm not so sure... Those memories don't excite me the way they excite you.
<br/><br/>
ILSE: We've done fun things in the same places and at the same times, yes, but does that make us connected? I don't know about you, but... I don't feel connected.'''),
page (5,'''LUCIA: But you've always stuck up for me! Like when I lost the watch my granddad gave me...
<br/><br/>
In Lucia's speech bubble, Lucia is covering zir face. Voices from all around say: "It's only a watch", "why you so emotional", "get over it", "not a big deal", "Why don't you just", "get over it". Ilse puts zir arm around Lussier's shoulders and says: "It'll be okay – You are safe with me".
<br/><br/>
ILSE: The way I remember it, it was more like
<br/><br/>
In Ilse's speech bubble, Lucia is sitting in a chair and covering zir head. Ilse stands nearby, looking the other direction and saying "I can't help you". In Ilse's speech bubbles, Ilse is drawn the same way ze is normally.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: Everyone feels awkward... What's important is that you were trying! And what about when
<br/><br/>
In Lucia's speech bubble, another person is grabbing Lucia's shoulders intimidatingly. The other person says "You should be happy that I'm even looking at you". Ilse appears dramatically and confronts the other person, thinking "I will risk anything to protect my friend!"
<br/><br/>
Another speech bubble comes from Ilse, giving a different interpretation of the same scene. In this version, Ilse is glaring at the other person, and Ilse is thinking, "Please take a swing. I want to see how your face looks after I smash up against the asphalt."
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: Oh, come on! If I saw someone attacking YOU like that, I'd want to see them bleed just as much!
<br/><br/>
ILSE: Did I tell you that I was suspended once in fourth grade for injuring another kid?
<br/><br/>
Ilse glares with angry, red eyes.
<br/><br/>
ILSE: I learned a lesson from that. Now I know which kinds of people I can hurt without getting punished. And you think I'm some kind of saint?
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: I don't know... it's just, the whole time I've known you, even after I lost the watch and the rest of my friends were laughing at me...
<br/><br/>
Lucia looks down at the table sadly.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: I've never felt like you were looking down on me.'''),
page (6,'''ILSE: What was I supposed to do – abandon you? This is why I hang out with outcasts: All I have to do to win your love is to not be a complete asshole!
<br/><br/>
On the words "complete asshole", Ilse's speech slips from a mechanical style to a handwritten style.
<br/><br/>
ILSE: This is what I HATE about people like you!
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: "People like me"?
<br/><br/>
ILSE: Yeah, people like you. NORMAL people.
<br/><br/>
Ilse's eyes are still red and angry. Now ze also leans forward aggressively and begins crying red tears.
<br/><br/>
ILSE: When I pretend to be what I'm not, you call me "best friend"! But when I you the truth you think I'm lying!!
<br/><br/>
Ilse realizes that ze has just spilled zir drink. Zir eyes go back to normal, and ze leans back and takes a drink from what's left. The two of them stare at each other for a moment.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: Ilse I don't think you're lying
<br/><br/>
ILSE: Oh yeah then what do you think.'''),
page (7,'''The page is dominated by a large image of Lucia and Ilse facing each other while Lucia speaks.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: I think... Love isn't easy. Don't let anybody tell you it's easy. Especially not when the time comes the part with someone you've spent this much of your life with. And to tell yourself that you're not emotionally invested – that is easy. But the fact that it upsets you this much shows that you care. I don't think you're lying at all... I think you're trying to shield yourself. I'm not ashamed or afraid to say that I love you, Ilse, and I'm sad that you've closed that door for yourself.
<br/><br/>
Ilse sits and thinks, holding zir cup.
<br/><br/>
ILSE (speaking in text that looks mechanical): Well...
<br/><br/>
ILSE (thinking, in red text that looks handwritten): Well, that's a pretty nice theory except for the fact that it's complete and utter bullshit. Maybe if you were such a goddamned good friend you would have trusted me to know what I was talking about instead of pushing your own reality on mine. Maybe you would been listening to me this whole time.'''),
page (8,'''Another large image. Ilse speaks in a mechanical style.
<br/><br/>
ILSE: You really think so? That I'm closing doors on myself? I'm sick of this. I didn't bring you here to argue with you. I want to go home. The only reason I didn't throw my mug at you a minute ago was because we are in public. I'm a sociopath, Lucia. I don't care about anyone or anything but myself.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: That's impossible! Even just the fact that you're listening to me now proves that you're not a sociopath. A real sociopath would
<br/><br/>
ILSE: ...pointlessly hurt someone, just to win an argument?
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: Sure! That's not like you at all!
<br/><br/>
ILSE: I suppose we'll see... but I really do need to head out. I need to get home early, because I have lots of stuff to pack.
<br/><br/>
They leave the café.
<br/><br/>
ILSE: It was good seeing you though!'''),
page (9,'''The red item usually drawn on Ilse is absent.
<br/><br/>
ILSE: Oh my god, I can't believe I almost forgot!
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: What?
<br/><br/>
ILSE: I found the watch.
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: Really?!
<br/><br/>
ILSE: Really. I don't know how it got there, but it's in one of the bins in the art room.
<br/><br/>
In Ilse's speech bubble, we see a row of three bins, and an old-fashioned watch.
<br/><br/>
ILSE: It's been the one all the way to the right. I couldn't quite reach in far enough to get it. And you really have to shove your hand up under the lid to get it open. And you'll be there anyway to pick up some other stuff. Tomorrow at 4:00, right?
<br/><br/>
LUCIA: Ilse, you're incredible.
<br/><br/>
They hug, with Ilse facing towards the reader and the red item as a bracelet behind Lucia's back. They wave goodbye to each other and part ways.'''),
page (10,'''Ilse is riding an airplane. Ze checks zir watch, which is a simple modern one, unlike the old-fashioned one Lucia had. It now reads 4 o'clock.
<br/><br/>
In a thought bubble, we see what Ilse imagines Lucia is doing right now. Lucia approaches the bins in the art room that appeared on the previous page. Ze sticks zir hand into the one on the right. However, on another table, there is a sign saying "FOR BROKEN GLASS", with a paper note saying "This sign fell down. Can you mount it again soon? It goes above the bin on the right." Lucia has stuck zir hand into the broken glass, and it is now cut and bleeding. Lucia looks down at zir hand. Ze remembers Ilse saying "pointlessly hurt someone, just to win an argument". Ze looks horrified. Along with zir horrified expression, the blue color that has been on zir shoulders for the whole story turns to gray, and ze begins crying blue tears instead.
<br/><br/>
Outside the thought bubble, Ilse is still on the airplane, imagining this happening to Lucia. Ilse makes a rude gesture and grins for the first time. ''','''
<h2>Author's notes</h2>
<p>I wrote this in 2011. It was my first serious graphic story, and only my second story that emphasized neurodiversity. Now, in 2016, I have mixed feelings about it.</p>
<p>What is the point of this story?</p>
Maybe it's a moral fable? Lucia does something wrong, then suffers for it, then (perhaps) learns a lesson. The point of a moral fable is to teach the reader that they shouldn't do what Lucia does. Maybe this story does that. But that story would normally be told from Lucia's perspective, and this one is told from Ilse's perspective.
Maybe it's a revenge fantasy? Ilse feels wronged, retaliates, and feels vindicated. In a revenge fantasy, if the reader shares the main character's frustrations, maybe it helps the reader feel some catharsis. But Ilse's frustrations are based on my own, and <em>I</em> don't feel good about the ending at all. I really don't like the idea of this story being a revenge fantasy.
As a writer, my instinct is to make things as dramatic as possible. Here, that made me give you a snapshot of the moment when two people hurt each other the most. That might not have been a good thing. Neurotypical people often have an unreasonable fear that neurovariant people (like Ilse) will hurt them, and this story might encourage that fear. In the future, I would rather write stories about how neurotypical and neurovariant people can cooperate in a way that is good for everyone.
In fact, one of my earlier concepts for this story was much more like that. In that version, a bunch of Ilse's classmates were facing some sort of crisis. The other classmates panicked and made things worse, but Ilse – who didn't have any emotions about the crisis at all – was able to stay calm and help them get things under control. Honestly, I wish I had written that version of the story instead of this one.
<h2> About the art style </h2>
Unlike the other comics on this site, I drew this one with pencil on paper, inked it with a pen, scanned it, and added the colors on the computer. By doing this, I achieved a much more precise style than I do when I draw using my graphics tablet.
I would like to be able to use this precise style for some of my future works. However, the physical drawing process also took much longer and was much more of a strain on my hands. It simply isn't worth the added difficulty. Perhaps I will eventually come up with a way to get the best of both worlds.'''),
]
'''Note: I can't really figure out a good place to put this in the notes:
When I first showed this story to people, everyone had a completely different reaction to it. I don't mean they just <em>disagreed</em> with each other. It was less like the difference between apples and oranges, and more like the difference between apples and northwest.
'''