rav edits

ravelling_wrath/chapter_20.py

@@ -130,7 +130,7 @@
 
 Brannet had told himself not to spend time studying the Blood Temple's <em>methods</em> of punishment, because that would be getting ahead of himself. But then he had made an excuse and done it anyway, because he couldn't resist fantasizing about what would happen after he won. And neither could I.
 
-When the Stern Temple punished the Dalners, I had never actually seen it with my own eyes. What would have happened, I wondered, if it had been the Blood Temple instead? I imagined Blood Temple warriors holding the Dalners in front of me, helpless and humiliated, at the mercy of <em>my</em> revenge. Then I could have made them suffer how I had suffered. How I had made Morrow suffer. I had <em>enjoyed</em> breaking his fingers. I had looked into his eyes and exulted in the pain I was causing, in knowing that I finally, <em>finally</em> had power over someone who had wronged me. And how much more might I have enjoyed it, if it had been my own abusers under my heel? I would have broken every bone in their bodies. I would have made them live the rest of their lives knowing that every time they moved a muscle, it might bring them pain from the memory of what I had done to them. Just as they had done to me.
+When the Stern Temple had punished the Dalners, I had never actually seen it with my own eyes. What would have happened, I wondered, if it had been the Blood Temple instead? I imagined Blood Temple warriors holding the Dalners in front of me, helpless and humiliated, at the mercy of <em>my</em> revenge. Then I could have made them suffer how I had suffered. How I had made Morrow suffer. I had <em>enjoyed</em> breaking his fingers. I had looked into his eyes and exulted in the pain I was causing, in knowing that I finally, <em>finally</em> had power over someone who had wronged me. And how much more might I have enjoyed it, if it had been my own abusers under my heel? I would have broken every bone in their bodies. I would have made them live the rest of their lives knowing that every time they moved a muscle, it might bring them pain from the memory of what I had done to them. Just as they had done to me.
 
 Was this how the Blood God felt about the Waiting God…?
 
@@ -205,21 +205,21 @@
 
 Ah… the Blood Temple…
 
-Whenever the kids started asking these questions, it took me back to a happier time. Nowadays, apparently, I was "the cool substitute teacher", but it wasn't for the reasons I would have wanted. I would have been happy if my stories of the old Blood Temple were what earned me that title. Happier still if it were the way I patiently listened to <em>their</em> stories of their lives. But the truth was much sadder and more simple. In all their other classes, these kids were being told to keep their heads down and study. All I had to do to be "cool" was to give them a break from that. A chance to relax and move their bodies.
+Whenever the kids started asking me for tales about the Blood Temple, it took me back to a happier time. Nowadays, apparently, I was "the cool substitute teacher", but it wasn't for the reasons I would have wanted. I would have been happy if my stories of the old Blood Temple were what earned me that title. Happier still if it were the way I patiently listened to <em>their</em> stories of their lives. But the truth was much sadder and more simple. In all their other classes, these kids were being told to keep their heads down and study. All I had to do to be "cool" was to give them a break from that. A chance to relax and move their bodies.
 
+I was in the middle school today. It was a beautiful day outside, and I had let the kids put the desks in a circle to play a game with each other. Principal Cossaman would have wanted me to keep them "on task", but it never seemed right to enforce the Stern rules on them. Nowadays, half of their parents were away in the factories from dawn to dusk, and came home too tired to spend time with their children. Who could blame the kids for wanting more space, more affection?
 
-[????? doesn't scream "different person than Brannet" enough] Apparently, time had seen me become "the cool substitute teacher". I had always been told that I had a way with children, and it would have made me happy 
-I was in the middle school today, covering for a math class. I had told the kids they could rearrange the desks, and a bunch of them had made a circle to play a game with each other. The others had found their own little pursuits. Noki, who'd just turned fourteen, was sitting on the windowsill and staring out the window – it was a beautiful day outside. No kind of day to keep these kids indoors studying math.
+The Stern were always telling us that things were better than ever, because of all this "progress". Because the parents' labor was giving us all the newest automobiles and personal computers and whatever other great inventions the Seeking had dreamed up. When I was young, an automobile had been a luxury for the rich, and now it seemed like even the poorest families had them. But were they happy? Were people happier now? I couldn't help but wonder if we could have gone a different way. If we could have had all these marvelous inventions, but also had our children be happy.
 
-Principal Cossaman would have wanted me to keep them "on task", but it never seemed right to enforce the Stern rules on them. Nowadays, half of their parents were away in the factories from dawn to dusk, and came home too tired to spend time with their children. Who could blame the kids for wanting more space, more affection? The Stern were always telling us that things were better than ever, because of all this "progress". Because the parents were away building all the newest automobiles and personal computers and whatever other great inventions the Seeking had dreamed up. And in a way, it was true. When I was young, a car had been a luxury for the rich, and now it seemed like even the poorest families had them. But were they happy? Were people happier now? I couldn't help but wonder if we could have gone a different way. If we could have had all these marvelous inventions, but also had our children be happy.
+I paused. <em>This</em> memory was wistful, but I could feel dozens of others behind it. The factory workers had been Hiram's friends and family. I remembered watching a ????? Long nights of comforting a friend who had ?????. With myself – Hiram – as the voice of stability. These memories felt so very familiar. Where these the true memories I been drawing on, every time I had helped Rinn through her own emotional struggles?
 
 "Hey, old man!" one of them piped up. "Mister Soleocchi, are you listening?"
 
 I blinked, bringing myself back to the present, where a few of the kids were gathered around me, eagerly asking me questions. "Ah, call me Hiram. Did I doze off there?"
 
 One of them leaned forward. "Mister Hiram, is it true that Blood temples had giant orgies every year?"
 
-I smiled wistfully. Nowadays, kids only wanted to hear the gory details, about the orgies, the floggings. I suppose that kids have always asked about these things, because kids always do what kids do best, hunting after the highs and lows of life until they find their place in the world. But it used to be that there were another kind of questions, too. Ten years ago, there were kids who asked questions like "why aren't we allowed to say the Blood prayers anymore?" and "my granddad says the Blood Temple always sent someone around to take care of his mother when she was having one of her episodes, so Granddad could still go to school. Why don't the Stern do that?" But for kids growing up today, the Blood Temple was just a part of history.
+I smiled wistfully. Nowadays, kids only wanted to hear the gory details, about the orgies, the floggings. I suppose that kids have always asked about these things, because kids always do what kids do best, hunting after the highs and lows of life until they find their place in the world. But it used to be that there were another kind of questions, too. Ten years ago, there had been kids who asked questions like "why aren't we allowed to say the Blood prayers anymore?" and "my granddad says the Blood Temple always sent someone around to take care of his mother when she was having one of her episodes, so Granddad could still go to school. Why don't the Stern do that?" But for kids growing up today, the Blood Temple was just a part of history.
 
 And what did I tell them? Yes, there were holy days when we hosted orgies. Yes, criminals who severely exploited people were sometimes stripped of their clothing and flogged in the public square. But that wasn't what the Blood Temple was really about. And no, I couldn't tell them any stories about the floggings, because Blood tradition forbade gossiping about someone's past punishment. No, I wouldn't disregard Blood tradition just because the Blood Temple was gone now. There were reasons for how we did things. After someone was punished, they needed to be given the chance to return to equal status in society. If you treated their humiliation as a funny thing to gossip about, you were stepping on them for your own amusement. That was <em>lowari</em>.