Some new writing

edgehead/assets/text/Knights/set_pieces/010_first_fight/000_start.egb.txt

@@ -74,28 +74,28 @@ Tamara nods. "Good," she whispers, and starts walking again. I look around, at t
 
 -
 
-<> quite a few corpses in the few hours we have been here. (All of them way too old and dry to raise, though.)
+<> quite a few corpses in the few hours we have been here. (All of them way too old and blood-dry to raise, though.)
 
-Tamara stops. For a moment, she's as still as a painting, and I try to mirror her. Then, she nods in the direction of a ferocious goblin stepping out of hiding.
+Tamara stops. For a moment, she's as still as a painting, and I try to mirror her. Then, she nods in the direction of a brush just ahead. It's shaking. Then something, something evil and fierce, steps right out of it.
 
-[IMAGE]
+[IMAGE alt="A ferocious goblin is stepping out of hiding"]
 
 Keeping her teeth together, Tamara says: "I might need your help with this. Take my dagger."
 
 // TODO: make this work - dagger / rock must be held
 
-* "No. I am not a warrior."
+* "No. I'm not a warrior."
 
-    Tamara purses her lips but says nothing.
+    Tamara purses her lips but says nothing. Then, without warning, <>
 
 * "Keep it. I'll improvise."
 
-    I pick up a moldy rock that lies right next to my feet. It's hard and heavy in my palm.
+    I pick up a moldy rock that lies right next to my feet. It's hard and heavy in my palm. As soon as I straighten up, <>
 
 * "Thanks, I'll take it."
 
-    I take the dagger and point it in the direction of the goblin. The hilt is think, and the weapon feels heavy but balanced.
+    I take the dagger and point it in the direction of the goblin. The hilt is thick, and the weapon feels heavy but balanced. Before I know it, <>
 
 -
 
-The fight begins.
+<> the fight begins.

edgehead/assets/text/Knights/set_pieces/010_first_fight/030_meadow_fight.egb.txt

@@ -19,6 +19,14 @@ WHERE: among the trees
 GROUND_MATERIAL: {earth|dirt}
 
 AFTER_MONSTERS_CLEARED:
+My hands are shaking. I put them on the sides of my neck to stop the shudder, then on my ears. Then I don't know why I put my hands on my ears. I put them down again.
+
+As a necromancer, I am used to death. The long, unmoving part of it, mostly. The lying in the earth. The peaceful, waiting death. 
+
+But this, this was something different entirely. Fast. Violent. Messy. This was the wild and savage face of death that I have not seen before. My hands are still shaking. Still shaking.
+
+// TODO: let Tamara hang around (camp?), or even follow Aren to The Bleeds. Move the content below to separate actions.
+
 [[RULESET]]
 [[RULE]]
 !w.wasKilled(tamaraId)
@@ -35,6 +43,7 @@ The fight is over.
 [[ENDRULE]]
 [[ENDRULESET]]
 
+// TODO: stand up if Tamara ended the fight down, and isn't hurt
 [[IF c.isHurt(tamaraId)]]Tamara is sitting on the ground now and tending to her wounds. "I'll survive, [young sir]. But you might not." She winces, and looks at me.[[ELSE]]Tamara checks her gear and sheathes her sword. Then she looks at me.[[ENDIF]] "Come with me back to safety. I'll give you a discount for the way back."
 
 _"Thanks for your service, Tamara. But I've come this far."_