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Temper gets you into trouble. Pride keeps you there.
----
We are drowning in information and starved for knowledge.
----
You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop
reading them.
Ray Bradbury
----
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Harry S Truman
----
"I put my trust in Allah."
The Prophet then said:
"Tie your camel first, then put your trust in Allah"
At-Tirmidhi, 2517
----
In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men,
women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real
small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
Douglas Adams
----
Management by objectives works if you first think through your objectives.
Ninety percent of the time you haven't.
Peter F. Drucker
----
it's easy to get lost in thought if it's not familiar territory to you.
----
Within the problem lies the solution
Milton Katselas
----
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who
are rich.
John F. Kennedy , Inaugural Address (Jan. 20, 1961)
----
In a time of drastic change it is the learners who inherit the future.
The learned usually find themselves equipped to live in a world that no longer
exists.
Eric Hoffer
----
When one door closes another door opens;
but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door,
that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Alexander Graham Bell
----
I am for those means which will give the greatest good to the greatest number.
Abraham Lincoln
----
We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a
human journey.
Stephen R. Covey
----
A wise man's question contains half the answer.
Solomon Ibn Gabirol
----
Immortality lies not in the things you leave behind, but in the people your
life has touched.
----
Data is not information, Information is not knowledge,
Knowledge is not understanding, Understanding is not wisdom.
Cliff Stoll & Gary Schubert
----
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Alan Kay
----
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
Oscar Wilde
----
Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.
Soren Kierkegaard
----
Common sense is not so common.
Voltaire
----
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
Winston Churchill
----
Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions.
You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg.
----
In youth we learn; in age we understand.
Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
----
The first mistake in public business is the going into it.
Ben Franklin
----
I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
Joe Walsh
----
An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.
Will Rogers
----
Victory belongs to the most persevering.
Napoleon Bonaparte
----
There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and
that's your own self.
Aldous Huxley
----
History does not record anywhere at any time a religion that has any rational
basis.
Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown
without help.
But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on
it
and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it.
Robert Heinlein , Time Enough for Love (1972)
----
This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for
complicated philosophy.
Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.
Dalai Lama
----
Justice cannot be for one side alone, but must be for both.
Eleanor Roosevelt
----
Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can't retire his
experience.
He must use it. Experience achieves more with less energy and time.
Bernard Baruch
----
Tell me your friends, and I'll tell you who you are.
Assyrian Proverb
----
The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of
thinking that created them.
Albert Einstein
----
The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.
Ralph Waldo Emerson , Conduct of Life
----
I don't like that man. I must get to know him better.
Abraham Lincoln
----
Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot
Charlie Chaplin
----
A professional is a person who can do his best at a time when he doesn't
particularly feel like it.
Alistair Cooke
----
Be not afraid of going slowly; be only afraid of standing still.
Chinese Proverb
----
I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant,
and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.
Kahlil Gibran
----
Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old
enough to know better.
----
Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.
Margaret Fuller
----
The whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going.
----
Skill and confidence are an unconquered army.
George Herbert
----
Just because something is tradition doesn't make it right.
Anthony J. D'Angelo , The College Blue Book
----
Don't reinvent the wheel, just realign it.
Anthony J. D'Angelo , The College Blue Book
----
Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.
Cicero
----
It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons
for them!
Nietzsche
----
Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do
it right.
Kurt Herbert Alder
----
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool
forever.
Chinese proverb
----
By all means, let's not confuse ourselves with the facts!
----
Change is good, but dollars are better.
----
I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce more
leaders, not more followers.
Ralph Nader
----
Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.
G. B. Stern
----
Don't listen to friends when the Friend inside you says 'Do this.'
Mohandas Gandhi
----
The thought manifests as the word; The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit; And habit hardens into character.
So watch the thought and its ways with care, And let it spring from love;
Born out of concern for all beings.
The Budha
----
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time
that
nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
Oscar Wilde
----
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough
people to make it worth the effort.
Herm Albright
----
Nothing in life is static; it either gets better, or it gets worse.
Lloyd Dobens and Clare CrawfordMason , Thinking About Quality
----
Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already
there.
Will Smith
----
I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand,
as in what direction we are moving -- we must sail sometimes with the wind and
sometimes against it -- but we must sail, and not drift, nor lie at anchor.
Oliver W. Holmes
----
We can never tell what is in store for us.
Harry S Truman
----
One of the hardest things in this world is to admit you are wrong.
And nothing is more helpful in resolving a situation than its frank admission.
Benjamin Disreali
----
If we fight a war and win it with H-bombs,
what history will remember is not the ideals we were fighting for but
the methods we used to accomplish them.
These methods will be compared to the warfare of Genghis Khan who ruthlessly
killed every last inhabitant of Persia.
Hans A. Bethe
----
Ability is of little account without opportunity.
Napoleon Bonaparte
----
I hate mankind, for I consider myself one of the best of them, and I know how
bad I am.
Samuel Johnson
----
The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for
it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
George Bernard Shaw
----
The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend,
as to find a friend worth dying for.
Homer
----
You can delegate authority, but not responsibility.
Stephen W. Comiskey
----
Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any
longer.
The Lion
----
These days, the wages of sin depend on what kind of deal you make with the
devil.
Kara Vichko
----
For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human
associations together.
Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe...
Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.
H. L. Mencken , (1928)
----
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
Theodore Roosevelt
----
Weather is a great bluffer. I guess the same is true of our human society --
things can look dark, then a break shows in the clouds, and all is changed.
E. B. White
----
People are more easily led than driven.
David Harold Fink
----
An artist never really finishes his work; he merely abandons it.
Paul Valry
----
Outside show is a poor substitute for inner worth.
----
Genius is only a greater aptitude for patience.
GeorgeLouis Leclerc de Buffon
----
While one should always study the method of a great artist,
one should never imitate his manner.
The manner of an artist is essentially individual,
the method of an artist is absolutely universal.
The first is personality, which no one should copy;
the second is perfection, which all should aim at.
Oscar Wilde
----
Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men's blood.... Make big
plans... aim high in hope and work.
Daniel H. Burnham
----
Whatever you are, be a good one.
Abraham Lincoln
----
Few people think more than two or three times a year.
I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a
week.
George Bernard Shaw
----
It is the quality of our work which will please God and not the quantity.
Mahatma Gandhi
----
We are rich only through what we give, and poor only through what we refuse.
Anne Swetchine
----
The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to
be.
Socrates
----
Man is a gregarious creature, more so in mind than in body.
He may like to go alone for a walk but he hates to stand alone in his opinion.
----
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
----
Do not hover always on the surface of things, nor take up suddenly,
with mere appearances; but penetrate into the depth of matters,
as far as your time and circumstances allow,
especially in those things which relate to your profession.
Isaac Watts
----
There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go.
Tennessee Williams
----
Leadership is practiced not so much in words as in attitude and in actions.
Harold Geneen
----
Understanding human needs is half the job of meeting them.
Adlai Stevenson , (October 3, 1952)
----
It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money.
And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy.
Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.
Jack Handy
----
Not only are you what you think you are, more so; what you think, you are.
Anthony J. D'Angelo , The College Blue Book
----
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other
alternatives.
Abba Eban
----
His ignorance is encyclopedic
Abba Eban
----
Israel is not an aviary.
Abba Eban
----
When I was first here, we had the advantages of the underdog. Now we have the
disadvantages of the overdog.
Abba Eban
----
Time and again these governments have rejected proposals today-and longed for
them tomorrow.
Abba Eban
----
I think that this is the first war in history that on the morrow the victors
sued
for peace and the vanquished called for unconditional surrender.
Abba Eban
----
Lest Arab governments be tempted out of sheer routine to rush into impulsive
rejection,
let me suggest that tragedy is not what men suffer but what they miss.
Abba Eban
----
The Jews are the living embodiment of the minority, the constant
reminder of what duties societies owe their minorities, whoever they might be.
Abba Eban
----
A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes
individually.
Abba Eban
----
He who lives with his memories becomes old. He who lives with plans for the
future remains young.
----
Be everywhere, do everything, and never fail to astonish the customer.
Macy's Motto
----
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Will Durant
----
To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.
----
If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
----
Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness.
Confucius , The Confucian Analects
----
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when
you make it again.
F. P. Jones
----
A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights.
Napoleon
----
It is impossible to design a system so perfect that no one needs to be good.
T. S. Eliot
----
He who has never failed somewhere... that man can not be great.
Herman Melville
----
No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
Abraham Lincoln
----
I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives.
I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him.
Abraham Lincoln
----
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him
is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing
to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
Jack Handy
----
You do not destroy an idea by killing people; you replace it with a better one.
Edward Keating
----
I am always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.
Winston Churchill
----
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Will Rogers
----
Ever notice that what the hell is always the right decision?
Marilyn Monroe
----
Laws do not persuade just because they threaten.
Seneca
----
If there is no struggle, there is no progress.
Frederick Douglass
----
To solve the problems of today, we must focus on tomorrow.
Erik Nupponen
----
A leader is someone who steps back from the entire system and tries
to build a more collaborative, more innovative system that will work over the
long term.
Robert Reich
----
I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do
something.
Helen Keller
----
In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in an clearer light,
and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness.
Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth.
Mahatma Gandhi
----
The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
Thomas Jefferson
----
The greater the difficulty, the more the glory in surmounting it.
Epicurus
----
The legacy of Democrats and Republicans approaches: Libertarianism by
bankruptcy.
Nick Nuessle (1992)
----
Victory is a political fiction.
----
Delay is preferable to error.
Thomas Jefferson
----
Home is an invention on which no one has yet improved.
Ann Douglas
----
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed
ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
----
Journalists cover words and delude themselves into thinking they have committed
journalism.
Hedrick Smith
----
Upper classes are a nation's past; the middle class is its future.
Ayn Rand
----
Some see things as they are and ask 'Why?'. I dream things that never were and
ask, 'Why not?'
George Bernard Shaw
----
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree,
is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals.
We cause accidents.
Nathaniel Borenstein
----
It is the person who is blind to what goes on around him that is most surprised
when the same things happen to him.
M. Thompson
----
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent.
It takes a touch of genius--and a lot of courage--to move in the opposite
direction.
Ernst F. Schumacher
----
The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.
Henry Kissinger
----
Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting.
Alan Dean Foster , To the Vanishing Point
----
True Love is only for those strong enough to endure it.
Jim Roberts , Journals of Time
----
Without trust, words become the hollow sound of a wooden gong. With trust,
words become life itself.
John Harold
----
That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't
good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
Calvin
----
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us worthy
evidence of the fact.
George Eliot
----
You know you're getting old when it takes to much effort to procrastinate.
----
Crude classifications and false generalizations are the curse of organized life.
George Bernard Shaw
----
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
Muhammad Ali
----
Do what's right. Do it right. Do it right now.
Barry Forbes
----
If you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else.
Marvin Gaye
----
The will to do, the soul to dare.
Sir Walter Scott
----
One of the most basic principles for making and keeping peace within and
between nations...
is that in political, military, moral, and spiritual confrontations,
there should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation of differences before
resorting to combat.
Jimmy Carter
----
Reality doesn't bite, rather our perception of reality bites.
Anthony J. D'Angelo , The College Blue Book
----
My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people:
those who work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the
first group;
there was less competition there.
Indira Gandhi
----
How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?
Charles De Gaulle
----
We feel free when we escape -- even if it be but from the frying pan to the
fire.
Eric Hoffer
----
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
George Santayana
----
What does not destroy me, makes me strong.
Friedrich Nietzsche
----
Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
Jim Beggs
----
"Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time"
Bursar 1 - Hex 0 - Terry Pratchett, Hogfather
----
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo.
James Klass
----
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
Albert Einstein
----
It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
Tom Stoppard
----
Women prefer men who have something tender about them -- especially the legal
kind.
Kay Ingram
----
Try not. Do or do not.
YODA
----
Live to learn... forget... and learn again.
Brian
----
Security is an illusion. Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing at
all.
Keller
----
The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come.
When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin.
When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come.
Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are
preserved.
Confucius
----
Kiss the girl, get the key... they never taught us *that* in the Obsidian Order
Elim Garak - Star-Trek Deep space Nine
----
Lying is a skill like any other and if you want to maintain a level of
excellence you have to practice constantly.
Elim Garak - Star-Trek Deep space Nine
----
The essence of knowledge is, having it, to apply it; not having it, to confess
your ignorance.
Confucius
----
Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
Mae West
----
Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the
Forest that was left out by mistake.
A. A. Milne , Pooh's Little Instruction Book
----
As we know, There are known knowns. There are things we know we know.
We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say we know there are
some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns,
the ones we don't know we don't know.
Donald Rumsfeld
----
Since pacifists have more freedom of action in countries where traces of
democracy remain,
pacifism can act more effectively against democracy than for it.
Objectively, the pacifist is pro-Nazi.
George Orwell
----
"you can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the
time,
but you cannot fool all the people all the time."
Abraham Lincoln
----
if i were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
Abraham Lincoln
----
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all
doubt.
Abraham Lincoln
----
Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left behind by those who
hustle.
Abraham Lincoln
----
Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill,
that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship,
support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of
liberty.
Inaugural Address (January 20, 1961) - John F. Kennedy
----
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
John F. Kennedy
----
The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas.
Dr. Linus Pauling
----
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence -- and then success is
sure.
Mark Twain
----
The first casualty when war comes is truth.
Hiram Johnson
----
A lie would have no sense unless the truth were felt as dangerous.
Alfred Alder
----
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in
America.
If I'm not there, I go to work.
Robert Orben
----
To be ignorant of what happened before you were born is to be ever a child.
For what is man's lifetime unless the memory of past events is woven with those
of earlier times?
Marcus Tullius Cicero, Orator
----
Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.
Danny Kaye
----
Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that
you will not meet again in life.
John Paul Richter
----
Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.
Henry Ford
----
It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom.
It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might
weaken and the wisest might err.
Mahatma Gandhi
----
Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued.
Socrates
----
To obtain a man's opinion of you, make him mad.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
----
If one does not understand a person, one tends to regard him as a fool.
Carl Jung
----
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his client to
plant vines.
Frank Lloyd Wright
----
Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen
to weather forecasts and economists?
Kelvin Throop, III
----
There is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill
the world at large with surprise and horror.
W. Somerset Maugham
----
The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from
those who are still undecided.
Casey Stengal
----
Life is a tale told by an idiot -- full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
William Shakespeare
----
If you have a vision, do something with it.
Anthony J. D'Angelo , The College Blue Book
----
Know ye not why We created you all from the same dust? That no one should exalt
himself over the other.
Baha'u'llah
----
If you want to succeed, you'd better look as if you mean business.
Jeanne Holm
----
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for
it back when it begins to rain.
Robert Frost
----
Fortune favors the bold.
Virgil
----
We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it.
Sir Winston Churchill , speech in the House of Commons, July 14, 1940
----
You can learn a lot from people who view the world differently than you do.
Anthony J. D'Angelo , The College Blue Book
----
When late morning rolls around and you're feeling a bit out of sorts,
don't worry; you're probably just a little eleven o'clockish.
A. A. Milne , Pooh's Little Instruction Book
----
Mankind is the animal that makes tools. In each generation, only a few people
get a chance to create new tools. Very, very few get to contribute to making
a tool that changes the lives of first hundreds, then thousands, then tens of
thousands,
and someday millions of people.
John Walker, Autodesk
----
Every program in development at MIT expands until it can read mail.
----
A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe
everything positively stinks.
Lew Col
----
A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
Oscar Wilde, "The Portrait of Mr. W.H."
----
An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
----
Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and
saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."
Muad'dib, "Dune"
----
At the end of your life there'll be a good rest, and no further activities are
scheduled.
----
Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the
answers.
Gene Wolfe, "The Claw of the Conciliator"
----
Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser.
But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.
The Mahabharata
----
Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.
Howard Chaykin
----
Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.
Herodotus
----
Coincidences are spiritual puns.
G.K. Chesterton
----
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
R. Geis
----
Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't,
don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
JJoseph Heller, "God Knows"
----
Disease can be cured; fate is incurable.
Chinese proverb
----
Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
----
Great acts are made up of small deeds.
Lao Tsu
----
He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.
B. Franklin
----
He who knows others is wise.
He who knows himself is enlightened.
Lao Tsu
----
He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
Lao Tsu
----
He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.
Lao Tsu
----
Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:
if you're alive, it isn't.
----
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White
----
I do not seek the ignorant; the ignorant seek me -- I will instruct them.
I ask nothing but sincerity. If they come out of habit, they become tiresome.
I Ching
----
I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very
reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment.
Gotama Buddha
----
In order to discover who you are, first learn who everybody else is;
you're what's left.
----
In the next world, you're on your own.
----
Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.
Muad'dib [Frank Herbert, "Dune"]
----
Murphy was an optimist.
----
Murphy's Law is recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
----
Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.
Lao Tsu
----
Ninety percent of everything is crap.
Theodore Sturgeon
----
No matter where I go, the place is always called "here".
----
Remember, Grasshopper, falling down 1000 stairs begins by tripping over the
first one.
Confusion
----
Rule of Life #1 -- Never get separated from your luggage.
----
To lead people, you must follow behind.
Lao Tsu
----
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
Gandhi
----
Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
J. Winter Smith
----
With listening comes wisdom, with speaking repentance.
----
You can get *anywhere* in ten minutes if you drive fast enough.
----
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
Mahatma Gandhi
----
A log may float in a river, but that does not make it a crocodile.
----
It isn't the mountains ahead that wear you out, it's the grain of sand in your
shoe
----
Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.
Henry Kissinger
----
Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of
sin and woe.
No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said
that
democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that
have been tried from time to time.
Sir Winston Churchill , Hansard, November 11, 1947
----
If money is your hope for independence you will never have it.
----
The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of
knowledge, experience, and ability.
Henry Ford
----
You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
Henry Ford
----
A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a
mountain top.
----
It is only the wisest and the stupidest that cannot change.
Confucius , Analects
----
To save your world you asked this man to die; Would this man, could he see you
now, ask why?
W. H. Auden , Epitaph for an Unknown Soldier
----
Have no friends not equal to yourself.
Confucius , The Confucian Analects
----
There are three things which the superior man guards against.
In youth...lust. When he is strong...quarrelsomeness.
When he is old...covetousness.
Confucius , The Confucian Analects
----
I disapprove of what you say, but will defend to the death your right to say it.
Voltaire
----
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.
Voltaire
----
If I have been able to see further, it was only because I stood on the
shoulders of giants.
Sir Isaac Newton
----
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same god who has endowed us with
sense,
reason and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Galileo
----
Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you.
Yassir Arafat
----
A friend you have to buy; enemies you get for nothing.
----
A good friend is often better than a brother.
----
A little fire burns up a great deal of corn.
----
A man dies when he stops working.
----
A man too good for the world is no good for his wife.
----
A penny is a lot of money, if you have not got a penny.
----
Against stupidity; God Himself is helpless
----
Do not judge your fellow man until you have stood in his place.
----
Don't approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back, or a fool from any
side.
----
Don't ask questions of fairy tales.
----
He that eats till he is sick must fast till he is well.
----
If your friend becomes your enemy, he will be your enemy for life.
----
One God and so many enemies.
----
One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule, and on every side of a fool.
----
Programmers don't sleep - they just park their heads
----
Some people believe in windows They also believe that the earth is flat.
----
Stupid people always think they are right. Wise people listen to advice.
----
You can lead a man to politics, but you can't make him think
----
Hidden talent counts for nothing
Nero
----
Don't hate; it is too big a burden to bear.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
----
I have a dream, that my four little children will one day live in a nation
where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of
their character.
I have a dream today!
Martin Luther King, Jr.
----
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of
our friends
Martin Luther King, Jr.
----
And when a man injures and oppresses you and deals unjustly with you,
you should deal kindly with him and forgive him. This you will strike at the
root
of hatred and enmity and he who is your enemy will become your friend.
Koran
----
He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.
Koran
----
If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there.
Koran
----
Prayer carries us half way to God, fasting brings us to the door of His palace,
and alms-giving procures us admission.
Koran
----
Wealth and children are the adornment of life.
Koran
----
Beyond a critical point within a finite space, freedom diminishes as numbers
increase.
...The human question is not how many can possibly survive within the system,
but what kind of existence is possible for those who do survive.
Frank Herbert Dune
----
If you think of yourselves as helpless and ineffectual, it is certain that you
will
create a despotic government to be your master. The wise despot, therefore,
maintains
among his subjects a popular sense that they are helpless and ineffectual. ,
Frank Herbert The Dosadi Experiment
----
Adults are obsolete children.
Dr. Seuss
----
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient
in living,
it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.
Dr. Seuss
----
Look at me! Look at me! Look at me now! It's fun to have fun, but you have to
know how!
Dr. Seuss
----
Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So... get on your way
Dr. Seuss
----
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get
better. It's not ,
Dr Seuss The Lorax
----
What I said never changed anyone. What they understood did.
----
Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.
----
War kills men, and men deplore the loss; but war also crushes bad principles
and tyrants, and so saves societies.
Colton
----
Truth, like gold, is to be obtained not by its growth, but by washing away from
it all that is not gold.
Leo Tolstoy
----
It's always useful to know where a friend-and-relation is, whether you want him
or whether you don't.
A. A. Milne , Pooh's Little Instruction Book
----
Art can't hurt you.
Fred Babb
----
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be
bought and sold are legislators.
P. J. O'Rourke
----
Piety requires us to honor truth above our friends.
Aristotle , Nichomachean Ethics
----
It's life, Jim... but not as we know it.
Spock
----
A whole is that which has beginning, middle and end.
Aristotle , Rhetoric
----
Vulcans never bluff.
Spock "The Doomsday Machine," stardate 4202.1.
----
Without facts, the decision cannot be made logically. You must rely on your
human intuition.
Spock "Assignment: Earth"
----
Physical laws simply cannot be ignored. Existence cannot be without them.
Spock "Spectre of the Gun," stardate 4385.3.
----
Thought is the wind, knowledge the sail, and mankind the vessel.
August Hare
----
Every man is the architect of his own fortune.
Appius Claudius
----
You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to
frighten you.
Eric Hoffer
----
Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force;
like fire, a troublesome servant and a fearful master.
Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action.
George Washington
----
The only time you don't fail is the last time you try anything -- and it works.
William Strong
----
If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully through the entire
catalogue.
Sears, Roebuck, and Co. , Consumer's Guide (1897)
----
Support the strong, give courage to the timid, remind the indifferent, and warn
the opposed.
Whitney M. Young, Jr.
----
A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.
A. A. Milne , Pooh's Little Instruction Book
----
A good idea will keep you awake during the morning, but a great idea will keep
you awake during the night.
Marilyn Vos Savant
----
Subdue your appetites, my dears, and you've conquered human nature.
Charles Dickens
----
Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop
thinking and go in.
Napoleon Bonaparte
----
Human kind cannot bear much reality.
T. S. Eliot
----
You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you.
You have to go to them sometimes.
A. A. Milne , Pooh's Little Instruction Book
----
Out of life's school of war: What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
Niettzche , The Twilight of the Idols (1888)
----
There is no shame in not knowing; the shame lies in not finding out.
Russian proverb
----
Egotist: A person more interested in himself than in me
Ambrose Biencea (1842-1914)
----
"The problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so
sure of themselves while wiser people are so full of doubt."
Bertrand Russel (April 6th 1999)
----
"All new technology is rejected and then accepted."
Isaac Asimov (Apr 19-25)
----
"Look at us. When life has become futile, meaningless, unindurable; it must be
allowed to end.
Can't you see captain, for us the disease is immortality."
Q (Star Trek: Voyager) (Jun 23-28)
----
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV
will be fought with sticks and stones."
Albert Einstein (Jun 29-Jul 4)
----
"The philosophy of the hunter is that you take only what you need, and you
share the rest."
Leonard George, Tsleilwaututh Chief (Jul 5-11)
----
"To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it
remains premature today."
Isaac Asimov (Oct 23-Nov 3)
----
"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
Albert Einstein (Nov 4-Dec 9)
----
"If the Truth is dynamic; how will it ever be found?"
Dan Gorski (Sept 23-29)
----
"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try."
Beverly Sills (Sept 29-Oct 14)
----
"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it."
George Bernard Shaw (Nov 22-Dec 2)
----
The concept of progress acts as a protective mechanism to shield us from the
terrors of the future.
Frank Herbert (Dune) (Feb 9-Mar 11)
----
"There is no sin except stupidity."
Oscar Wilde
----
"The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws."
Tacitus
----
"Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true."
Niels Bohr
----
When two elephants fight it is the grass that suffers.
African Proverb
----
Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the
hunter.
African Proverb
----
If the enemy within cannot kill us, then the enemy without can do us no harm
African Proverb
----
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
Arabian proverb
----
Every cripple has his own way of walking.
Brendan Behan
----
If you want happiness for a lifetime - help the next generation.
Chinese Proverb
----
...a thousand paths and an infinity of dreams. Hopeful, we are halfway to where
we want to go hopeless, we are lost forever.
Chinese Proverb
----
That the birds of worry and care fly above your head, this you cannot change,
but that they build nests in your hair,this you can prevent.
Chinese Proverb
----
If you stand in one place long enough, the world will come to you.
Chinese Proverb
----
Only after the last tree has been cut down; Only after the last fish has been
caught;
Only after the last river has been poisoned; Only then will you realize that
money cannot be eaten.
Cree Indian Prophecy
----
We never know the worth of water till the well is dry.
English Proverb
----
When spiders unite, they can tie down a lion.
Ethiopian Proverb
----
The frog does not drink up the pond in which it lives
Indian proverb
----
You have only 2 things to worry about,
either you are sick or you are healthy,
if you are healthy, you have nothing to worry about,
but if you are sick you have 2 things to worry about,
you will get well,
or you will die,
if you get well,
you have nothing to worry about,
but if you die,
you will have 2 things to worry about,
you will go up,or you will go down,
if you go up,
there is nothing to worry about,
but if you go down,
you will be so busy shaking hands with old friends you won't have time to worry!
Irish Proverb
----
An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto a blade of grass and not
fall off the earth.
Irish Proverb
----
Dance as if no one's watching, sing as if no one's listening, and live everyday
as if it were your last.
Irish proverb
----
At the end of the game, The king and the pawn go back in the same box.
Italian Proverb
----
Not everything which is bad comes to hurt us.
Italian Proverb
----
If you stand up like a nail you will get hammered down.
Japanese Proverb
----
the reverse side also has a reverse side
Japanese proverb
----
Vision without action is daydream. Action without vision is nightmare.
Japanese proverb
----
Fear is only as deep as the mind allows
Japenese proverb
----
If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
Jewish Proverb
----
As long as you have nothing to shoot for, you will always have plenty of
ammunition.
John Ward
----
Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you
Maori Proverb
----
The generous and bold have the best lives.
Poetic Edda, a compilation, ca. 1200 AD, of earlier Icelandic poems (19)
----
It is better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand days as a lamb.
Roman proverb
----
The church is close, but the road is icey. The bar is far, but I will walk
carefully.
Russian Proverb
----
Water that does not move, is always shallow...
Sami proverb
----
They talk of my drinking but never my thirst
Scottish Proverb
----
Be humble for you are made of earth. Be noble for you are made of stars.
Serbian proverb
----
I don't want the cheese, I just want out of the trap.
Spanish Proverb
----
Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.
Spanish proverb
----
Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.
Swedish Proverb
----
Fear less, hope more; Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more; Hate less, love more;
And all good things are yours.
Swedish Proverb
----
Faith is to believe in things that we do not see, and the reward of this faith
is to see in what we believe.
----
Tell me who's your friend and I'll tell you who you are.
Russian Proverb
----
Free speech is the right to shout 'theater' in a crowded fire
A Yippie proverb
----
It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is
twins.
Chinese Proverb
----
First I saw the mountains in the painting; then I saw the painting in the
mountains.
Chinese Proverb
----
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
----
If it keeps you awake, its art; if it puts you to sleep, its a drug.
----
There are two kinds of people _ those who run and those who should!
----
the same people wrote the bible that thought the world was flat
----
Let's Ban Humans. They All Suck Anyway.
----
If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies.
----
Trust but verify.
----
When the Czar has a cold all Russia coughs.
----
Don't buy the house, buy the neighborhood.
----
A half-truth is a whole lie
----
Among those who stand, do not sit; among those who sit, do not stand.
Among those who laugh, do not weep; among those who weep, do not laugh
----
Anyone who teases you loves you
----
Ask about your neighbors, then buy the house
----
Be sure to send a lazy man for the angel of death
----
Do not ask questions of fairy tales
----
Do not make yourself so big, you are not so small
----
Do not meet troubles half-way
----
Don't be too sweet lest you be eaten up; don't be too bitter lest you be spewed
out
----
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth
----
Don't make a mountain out of a molehill
----
Don't open a shop unless you know how to smile
----
God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers
----
He who puts up with insult invites injury
----
If the rich could hire someone else to die for them, the poor would make a
wonderful living
----
If you can't go over, you must go under
----
In a restaurant choose a table near a waiter
----
Never trust people who tell you all their troubles but keep from you all their
joys
----
Prepare your proof before you argue
----
Pride is the mask of one's own faults
----
Pride joined with many virtues chokes them all
----
Pride that dined with vanity supped with poverty
----
"Rejoice not at thine enemy's fall"--but don't rush to pick his up, either
----
The innkeeper loves a drunkard, but not for a son-in-law
----
The only truly dead are those who have been forgotten
----
What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your mouth
----
What you give for the cause of charity in health is gold; what you give in
sickness is silver; what you give after death is lead
----
When two divorced people marry, four people get into bed
----
When you have no choice, mobilize the spirit of courage
----
With money in your pocket you are wise, you are handsome, and you sing well too
----
You can't force anyone to love you or lend you money
----
Your friend has a friend; don't tell him
----
A little fire burns up a great deal of corn
----
A rich man has no need of character
----
Admission by the defendant is worth a hundred witnesses
----
An advantage of poverty: your relatives gain nothing by your death
----
Education is what most receive, many pass on, and few possess.
Karl Kraus
----
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.
If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
Herman Cain
----
If you obey all of the rules, you miss all of the fun.
Katherine Hepburn
----
What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.
Confucius , The Confucian Analects
----
The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence.
When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.
Thich Nhat Hanh
----
Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward. They may be beaten, but they may
start a winning game.
Goethe
----
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very
angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Douglas Adams
----
A penny will hide the biggest star in the Universe if you hold it close enough
to your eye.
Samuel Grafton
----
We must become the change we want to see.
Mahatma Gandhi
----
The leader has to be practical and a realist, yet must talk the language of the
visionary and the idealist.
Eric Hoffer
----
Conservation is humanity caring for the future.
Nancy Newhall
----
The worst-tempered people I've ever met were the people who knew they were
wrong.
Wilson Mizner
----
A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.
James Feibleman
----
We've gotten to the point where everybody's got a right and nobody's got a
responsibility.
Newton Minow
----
Failure to prepare is preparing to fail.
----
Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.
Peter Drucker
----
Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you
do with what you have left.
Hubert Humphrey
----
Change should be a friend. It should happen by plan, not by accident.
Philip Crosby , Reflections on Quality
----
5 out of 2 people are dyslexic
Dyslexics of the world: untie!
----
The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears it is true.
----
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
----
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
----
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help
section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
----
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Corruption is a crime.
Crime doesn't pay. So if you keep studying you'll go broke!
----
If smoking is so bad for you, how come it cures kippers?
----
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day...
----
The only two things that are infinite in size are the universe and
human stupidity. And I'm not completely sure about the universe.
Albert Einstein
----
I knew it would be in the last place I looked for it, so I looked there first.
----
Here's a horrible thought: You know how dumb the average person is? Well,
half the human race is even dumber than that...
----
Love between a man and a woman can be a beautiful thing,
especially if you're between the right man and the right woman.
Woody Allen
----
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
----
If Bill Gates got a nickel every time some version of Windows crashed or
frustrated,
he's be the richest man in the world!
----
Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant!
----
It was a woman that drove me to drink. Such a shame I forgot to thank her
----
The I.S.O. standard unit of female pulchritude is the milli-helen.
This is the amount of beauty capable of causing the launching of a single ship.
----
Women are like pianos - When they're not upright they're grand.
----
It's a dog eat dog world out there..... And vice versa.
----
I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork
Peter DeVries.
----
If you can't beat them, join them, then beat them.
----
If you were going to shoot a mime - would you use a silencer?
----
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.
Aristotle
----
The concept of relative ethics is truly a tribute to the human mind, and man's
ability to delude himself.
----
Men will send one perfect rose, without realising a girl's need for one perfect
limo.
Dorothy L. Parker
----
If scientists are so clever, what is the speed of dark?
----
God Is Perfect,
Man Is Not,
Man Made Alcohol,
God Made Pot !!!!
----
Windows: A 32 bit extension and graphical shell,
for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system,
originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor,
written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.
Good thing there's not any.
----
It's hard to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
----
You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your
grandmother.
Albert Einstein
----
Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe
you anyway.
----
If at first you don't succeed, give up skydiving.
----
A man is not truly drunk until he can't lie on the floor without holding on.
----
"One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to
make them stop."
G. Weilacher
----
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
----
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0
----
A good storyteller is a person who has a good memory and hopes other people
haven't.
----
You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here,
and whether you can hear it or not,
the universe is laughing behind your back.
----
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
----
If vegetarians eat vegetables, beware of humanitarians!
----
Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the
keyboard.
----
Why do clairvoyants need doorbells ?
----
Where do you want to tell Microsoft to go today?
----
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
----
Help me to be careful of the toes I step on today As they may be
connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.
----
I have a firm grip of reality - now I can strangle it....
----
Experts eliminate the simpler mistakes in favor of the more complex ones,
thereby achieving a higher degree of stupidity.
----
People who claim they don't let little things bother them have never slept in a
room with a single mosquito.
----
Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I
----
The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they
start making vacuum cleaners......
----
Life would be much easier if I had the source code.
----
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
----
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
Work like you don't need the money Love like you've never been hurt And dance
like no one's watching
----
If you have nothing to hide, why do you use an envelope?
----
Homo Sapiens is a goal, not a description.
----
Early to rise, early to bed, makes you healthy but socially dead.
----
Unfinished business - business that is finished, but you don't like the way it
turned out.
----
Remember half the people you know are below average.
----
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
----
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder
what else you can do while you're down there.
----
There are three kinds of people in the world.
Those who can count and those who can't.
----
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
Albert Einstein
----
Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.
----
If the gods had meant for mankind to fly, they wouldn't have made the ground so
hard, or so far down.
----
Eagles soar but a weasel will never get sucked into a jet engine.
----
Moore's Law: hardware speed doubles every 18 months
Gates' Law: software speed halves every 18 months
----
At first there was nothing. Then God said 'Let there be light!'
Then there was still nothing. But you could see it.
----
Suburbia: where they tear down all the trees and name streets after them.
----
Money doesn't make you happy, but money can buy gizmos and gizmos make you
happy.
----
If voting could change the system, it would be illegal.
If not voting could change the system, it would be illegal.
----
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who
doesn't get it.
----
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one:
"O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.
----
I started out with nothing,and I`ve still got most of it left.
----
I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
----
Luck is when opportunity meets preparation.
----
I found out what serendipity meant by accident.
----
To a Pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To an Optimist, the glass is half full.
To an Engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
----
Be aloof, there has been a recent population explosion of lerts.
----
Doesn't it bother you that we have to search for intelligent life
OUT THERE??
----
Tact: the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
----
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other
trees make fun of it?
----
Conscience: That part of the psyche that dissolves in alcohol.
----
I don't practice what I preach, because I'm not the kind of person I'm
preaching to.
----
There are two secrets for success.
1: Don't reveal all your secrets
2:
----
Breast size multiplied by IQ always equals 69.
----
What we need is either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
----
There are basically three kinds of men.
There are the ones who learn by reading.
Then there are the few who learn by observation.
The rest just have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
----
What is a rhetorical question?
----
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
----
Even in the worst of times, there is always someone who's never had it better.
Even in the best of times, there is always someone who's never had it worse.
----
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
----
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before
it is understood.
----
A lawyer is an expert on justice the way a whore is an expert on love.
----
God, grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the Good Fortune to run into the ones I do, And the Eyesight to tell the
difference.
----
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected us as kids,
we'd all run around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to
repetitive music.
----
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station........
----
Windows error messages in Haiku #2:
Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
----
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
----
Bigamy is having one too many wives. Monogamy is the same.
----
Got kleptomania? Take something for it.
----
A Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer is to computing what a
McDonalds Certified Food Specialist is to fine cuisine.
----
If God had meant carrots to be eaten cooked, He would have given rabbits fire.
----
Claiming that your operating system is the best in the world because more
people use it
is like saying that McDonalds makes the best food in the world.
----
A real friend isn't someone you use once and then throw away.
A real friend is someone you can use over and over again.
----
There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to say.
----
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
----
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what
you shouldn't have said.
----
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.
----
Veni, Vidi, Visa. (I came, I saw, I bought.)
----
People say that I suffer from insanity. Actually, I enjoy every minute of it.
----
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can, and the weaponry to make the difference
stick!
----
God must have loved calories, she made so many of them.
----
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
----
UNIX is not user-unfriendly; it merely expects users to be computer-friendly.
----
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once.
Space is nature's way of keeping it all from happening to you.
----
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
----
Smith & Wesson: THE original point and click interface...
----
If a man says something in the middle of a forest and there isn't a woman
around to hear him, is he still wrong?
----
There are 10 kinds of people in the world:
those who understand binary,and those who don't
----
I think the last place I'd like to be beamed is 'Up Scotty'
----
Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
----
The golden rule: he who has the gold, makes the rules.
----
Somebody ought to cross ball point pens with coat hangers so that the pens will
multiply instead of disappear.
----
We've heard that a million monkeys bashing away at a million
keyboards could produce a complete Shakespearian work Now,
thanks to the internet, we know this is not true.
----
When did I realize I was God?
Well, I was praying, and noticed that I was talking to myself.
----
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a
swimming pool.
----
Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs in one.
----
Mathematicians, please don't drink and derive.
----
We will have solar energy as soon as the utility companies solve one technical
problem --
how to run a sunbeam through a meter.
----
Mornings: Evolution in action. Only the grumpy will survive.
----
The problem with the world is stupidity.
Not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity,
but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the
problem solve itself?
----
The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.
Henry Kissinger (1923 - ), New York Times, Oct. 28, 1973
----
What is food to one man is bitter poison to others.
Lucretius (96 BC - 55 BC)
----
#3537. Superfluity does not vitiate.
California Civil Code, "Maxims of Jurisprudence"
----
He who thinks by the inch and talks by the yard deserves to be kicked by the
foot.
----
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
Farmers' Almanac, 1978
----
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)
----
It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.
Pierre Auguste Renoir
----
It should be our care not so much to live a long life as a satisfactory one.
Seneca (5 BC - 65)
----
Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.
Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
----
Not even the gods fight against necessity.
Simonides (556 BC - 468 BC), from Plato, Dialogues, Protagoras
----
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world;
and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve
men every day who don't know anything and can't read.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
----
He has a splendid repertoire of 500 words. Why does he insist on using only 150?
Abba Eban (1915 - 2002)
----
"If wishes were horses, beggars would ride."
James Halliwell, Nursery Rhymes of England, 1844
----
"When I find myself in the company of scientists, I feel like a
shabby curate who has strayed by mistake into a room full of dukes."
W. H. Auden
----
"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."
Neil Armstrong, On the first moonwalk, July 20, 1969
----
Thats one small code in perl, one giant leap in computing time.
Ido Kanner - After making a quotation reader in perl
----
"There is still no cure for the common birthday."
John Glenn
----
"The guy with the biggest stomach will be the first to take off his shirt at a
baseball game."
Glenn Dickey
----
"No one is entitled to the truth."
E. Howard Hunt
----
"If all mankind minus one were of one opinion, mankind would be no more
justified in silencing that one person than he, if he had the power,
would be justified in silencing mankind."
John Stuart Mill
----
"An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less,
until eventually he knows everything about nothing."
----
Harry: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening
to her,
or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
Dumb & Dumber (1994), Dumb & Dumber
----
"Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy."
Robert Anthony
----
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
Erich Segal
----
"There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
----
"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and
the other is getting it."
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
----
"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing."
Wernher Von Braun (1912-1977)
----
"The truth is more important than the facts."
Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)
----
"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot
read them."
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
----
"I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need."
Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues
----
"Interesting - I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray."
Seymoure Cray (1925-1996) when he was told that Apple Inc.
had recently bought a Cray supercomputer to help them design the next Mac.
----
"A poem is never finished, only abandoned."
Paul Valery (1871-1945)
----
"I worship the quicksand he walks in."
Art Buchwald
----
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
Irvin S. Cobb
----
"He would make a lovely corpse."
Charles Dickens (1812-1870)
----
"Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies."
Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.
----
"This isn't right, this isn't even wrong."
Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper
----
"Woman was God's second mistake."
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
----
"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood
supply to run both at the same time."
Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair
----
"I criticize by creation - not by finding fault."
Cicero (106-43 B.C.)
----
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
----
"There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."
Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964)
----
"There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a
human imposition,
not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure;
it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole."
Bill Wulf
----
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
Yogi Berra
----
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
----
"The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep."
Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live
----
"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame."
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
----
"It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both."
NNiccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527), "The Prince"
----
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the
dog."
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
----
"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
Tom Clancy
----
"The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins."
Oliver Wendell Holmes (1841-1935)
----
"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."
last words of Pancho Villa (1877-1923)
----
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
----
"After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I
have one."
Cato the Elder (234-149 BC, AKA Marcus Porcius Cato)
----
"A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood."
General George S. Patton (1885-1945)
----
"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
----
"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899
----
"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962
----
"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"
H. M. Warner (1881-1958), founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927
----
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
----
"Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees
equality of opportunity."
Irving Kristol
----
"The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy."
Von Clausewitz (1780-1831)
----
"If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"
Will Rogers (1879-1935)
----
"I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!"
Will Rogers (1879-1935)
----
"I think it would be a good idea."
Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948), when asked what he thought of Western civilization
----
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
Thomas Watson (1874-1956), Chairman of IBM, 1943
----
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the
opportunity in every difficulty."
Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
----
"There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal."
Sigfried Hulzer
----
"The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must
wait till that other is ready."
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
----
"Sometimes it is not enough to our best; we must do what is required."
Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
----
"Dogma is the sacrifice of wisdom to consistency."
Lewis Perelman
----
"Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century."
Lewis Perelman
----
"A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted."
Helen Rowland (1876-1950)
----
"The average person thinks he isn't."
Father Larry Lorenzoni
----
"Well done is better than well said."
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
----
"Silence is argument carried out by other means."
Ernesto"Che"Guevara (1928-1967)
----
"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything,
and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have
only wasted my time."
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
----
"Never mistake motion for action."
Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)
----
"A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar."
Lao-Tzu (570?-490? BC)
----
"Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting."
Karl Wallenda
----
"It is better to be quotable than to be honest."
Tom Stoppard
----
<Jv8> programming has destroyed my ability to speak English
Bash.org - #2575
----
[02:18:04] s7ank: i want to be one of those guys that types
"s/j&jd//.^$ueu*///djsls/sm."
and it's a perl script that turns dog crap into gold.
Bash.org - #9347
----
<Zero> I had a totally hot chemistry teacher once. She used to always say "Uh
huh." and show her ass. Win XP is like that.
Bash.org - #10071
----
<GrndZero> "China has already cloned human embryos"
<GrndZero> Go china
<xscope> yeah..thats what China needs..more people.
Bash.org - #77413
----
<pronstar``afk> my kazaa preformed an illegal opperation
<cCCPehlet`> isn't that what kazaa is designed to do?
Bash.org - #147270
----
<EnoC> sex should be like a honda slow obsene and loud enough for the neighbors
to hear
Bash.org - #83176
----
<m[e]ntor> Does anyone know where I can buy 100 m of wireless lan cable?
<insight> Well, you could try NASA's "things not yet and never will be
invented"-department or something.
Bash.org - #125928
----
<Kris> fuck! someone stole all my beer and drank it and left the empties all
over my apartment!
<Kris> either that or I now know why I have a headache and no real memory of
anything after 21:00
Bash.org - #187608
----
<billiam> crap... some one knocked over my recycle bin... there's icons all
over my desktop...
Bash.org - #216963
----
<drewb> I still dont get how you can use linux when it doesnt have a control
panel
<jamesm> well duh, use xeyes
Bash.org - #8677
----
* Cheez is now known as rwxr-xr-x
<MudBlud> ./Cheez
Bash.org - #55095
----
<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops
Bash.org - #9322
----
<mironixima> hello
<mironixima> any redhat 9 users in here?
<SKaReCRoW> let's hope not
Bash.org - #105735
----
private\windows\media\avi\verinfo.16\verinfo.h:
* !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* !!!!!!!IF YOU CHANGE TABS TO SPACES, YOU WILL BE KILLED!!!!!!!
* !!!!!!!!!!!!!!DOING SO FUCKS THE BUILD PROCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seen at: http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2004/2/15/71552/7795 - leaked Windows 2000 source
----
private\genx\shell\inc\prsht.w:
// we are such morons. Wiz97 underwent a redesign between IE4 and IE5
Seen at: http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2004/2/15/71552/7795 - leaked Windows 2000 source
----
private\shell\ext\ftp\ftpdrop.cpp:
//We have to do this only because Exchange is a moron.
Seen at: http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2004/2/15/71552/7795 - leaked Windows 2000 source
----
private\shell\shdoc401\unicpp\desktop.cpp:
// We are morons. We changed the IDeskTray interface between IE4
Seen at: http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2004/2/15/71552/7795 - leaked Windows 2000 source
----
private\inet\wininet\urlcache\filemgr.cxx:
// ACHTUNG!!! this is a special hack for IBM antivirus software
Seen at: http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2004/2/15/71552/7795 - leaked Windows 2000 source
----
/*
* nesting deeper and deeper, harder and harder, go, go, oh, OH, OHHHH!!
* Sorry, got carried away there.
*/
struct lo_FormElementOptionData_struct {
Seen at: http://discuss.fogcreek.com/joelonsoftware/default.asp?cmd=show&ixPost=3364
----
/* IWDFWI */
Translation: It works, don't fuck with it.
Mike Gunderloy
Saturday, February 02, 2002
Seen at: http://discuss.fogcreek.com/joelonsoftware/default.asp?cmd=show&ixPost=3364
----
// Hocus Pocus, grab the focus
winSetFocus(...)
Seen at: http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?FunnyThingsSeenInSourceCodeAndDocumentation
----
try {
//...
} catch (SecurityException sex) {
Seen at: http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?FunnyThingsSeenInSourceCodeAndDocumentation
----
Real Programmers consider "what you see is what you get" to be just as
bad a concept in Text Editors as it is in women. No, the Real Programmer
wants a "you asked for it, you got it" text editor -- complicated,
cryptic, powerful, unforgiving, dangerous.
----
And as a bonus the recovery CD includes a fully-functioning tetris game.
Tzafrir Cohen - seen on hamakor mailling list
----
These download files are in Microsoft Word 6.0 format.
After unzipping, these files can be viewed in any text editor,
including all versions of Microsoft Word, WordPad, and Microsoft Word Viewer.
From Microsoft's Website
----
YASFPIIAS
Yet Another SourceForge Project In Its Alpha Stage
----
Email law #1:
A second after you close your email client, a new email will arrive
----
Email law #2:
The second you open your mail client a junk mail will arrive
----
Email law #3:
When you want to send an important attachment the email will always be sent
without it.
----
Email law #4:
When you are waiting for important email, it will always located on the spam
directory.
----
Email law #5:
When you think you configured your junk mail filter correctly, a new way will
be found to send you junk.
----
#!/bin/bash
# written by darren kirby
You="R_a_dream"
Are="you_really_there?"
let Me=make love; To="u"
i="long"; FOR="you"
Not="meant_2_b"
for the_stars in the sky and the light from The moon
do #not forget...I will
echo "I love you" # 'til I am
done #in from the heartache
declare -i am_in_love
if [[ -n $You ]] && [[ -n $Are ]] && [[ -n $Not ]]; then # I will
echo "I love you anyway" # till
fi #naly I am free
----
" ...draining workplace productivity since 1996"
from freecell.com
----
If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and
come help me.
Bobcat Goldthwait
----
I bet if Zebras tasted like Zebra Cakes there would be a lot less vegetarians.
Ben Wipperman
----
Insanity Is The Fuel For The Mind
HalonX
----
The dark is not mysterious; it is merely dark.
Archibald MacLeish
----
I want to know Gods thoughts, the rest are details.
Albert Einstein
----
640K ought to be enough for anybody.
Bill Gates
----
Its hard to expect people to think outside of the box when they cant find their
way to the other side of a dot.
Keith J. Beange
----
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in an argument.
Robert Frost
----
Life is a comedy to those who think, and a tragedy to those who feel.
Moliere
----
If you see Buddha coming down the road, kill him
Buddha
----
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
Lily Tomlin
----
Dream as if youll live forever. Live as if youll die today.
James Dean
----
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Benjamin Franklin
----
I came here to be drugged, electricuted and probed, not insulted!
Homer Simpson
----
Humans dont know this but due to the war among the angels, heavens closed.
Nobody who has died since the beginning of time has made it in. Sorry. All
those bones just lying there! But, Hell! While heaven may be closed, I am open
all year round, even on Christmas.
Lucifer, from the movie Prophecy
----
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer Simpson
----
Just because you are paranoid doesnt mean theyre not after you.
Kurt Cobain
----
Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
----
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
Mark Twain
----
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
badfish
----
He who has seen the end of war.. is dead.
Plato
----
I shouldve been a plumber.
Albert Einstein
----
In war-time.. .truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a
bodyguard of lies.
Winston Churchill
----
Listen! You smell something?
Ray Stanz (Ghostbuster)
----
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Albert Einstein
----
Some guy hit me in the fender the other day. I told him to go forth an prosper
fruitfully on his own. Only not in those words.
Woody Allen
----
It is foolish to tear ones hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less
by baldness.
Cicero
----
If you have Brains in your head and feet in your shoes you can do any thing
Dr. Suess
----
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
Aldous Huxley
----
Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't after me.
Lazarus Long
----
One day when I was little, and my parents were having a party, I went around to
all the adults and said, drink this and it will make you grow. They all laughed
and said I was cute. Then I went to the coat-room and hemmed all their coats.
Steven Wright
----
I did not get my Spaghetti-Os, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.
( Last words before being executed. )
Thomas J. Grasso
----
Freedom is a feeling you celebrate with the world. Lets make cakes, not
weapons. Lets visit the plastic surgeon and replace our arms with wings. This
may cost a lot of money.
Diesel
----
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and
yelling like the people in his car.
----
Ive been in a bad mood for the past couple of years, so why dont you just leave
me alone?
Wyatt Earp
----
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. When it come close to the end, it goes
faster.
Ciara
----
Tell a man there are 300 Billion stars in the universe and hell believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and hell have to touch to be sure.
Jarger
----
They are GODS... just like Ted Nugent!
Michael Smith
----
Whining is anger through a small opening.
Stuart Smalley
----
Arrogance is a form of ignorance.
Troy Johnson
----
Your random quote from 324 quotes, is:
Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tellem, Certainly I can! - and get
busy and find out how to do it.
Theodore Roosevelt
----
Why is it that when we talk to God were said to be praying, but when God talks
to us were schizophrenic?
Lily Tomlin
----
"Those that can, do. Those that can't, complain".
Linus Torvalds
----
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop
thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we
...
We must never stop thinking about how best to defend our country. We must
always be forward-thinking"
George W. Bush - In a speech in 06/08/2004
----
"Life, liberty, and the pursuit of spelling errors."
The Hspell Project
----
"All I can tell you is that pictures come into my head and I write stories
about them."
C. S. Lewis
----
"A neurotic is the man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man
who lives in it. A psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent."
Jerome Lawrence
----
"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."
Rudyard Kipling
----
"Scientists theorize about the possibilty of going to the stars, poets go
there."
Albatross
----
"I'd deflower you, but i'm an environmentalist."
Neils Weilander
----
"I laugh, I smile, and I take Prozac."
Jocelyn
----
"Any couple who can blush in unison deserve each other."
Columbine
----
"You know it's love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead."
Tarik John Dozier
----
"You know you've been on NetGoth too long when you're overjoyed whenever you
get email that doesn't start with a Re:"
Lex
----
"Work is the curse of the drinking class."
Oscar Wilde
----
"Friends don't let friends...go to clubs dressed like The Crow."
----
"May the rocks below be merciless and jagged."
Eileen (Individuation)
----
"There is no cause so noble, that one cannot find fools following it."
----
"He's YOUR god,
They're YOUR rules,
YOU burn in hell."
Locutus
----
"Uncle Cosmo ... why do they call this a word processor?"
"It's simple, Skyler ... you've seen what food processors do to food, right?"
MacNelley, "Shoe"
----
"Spare no expense to save money on this one."
Samuel Goldwyn
----
"Jesus save sinners and redeems them for valuable prizes!"
Locutus
----
"Life is one big ink blot."
Leanan Sidhe (Charlotte Ashley)
----
"But it doesn't matter because we're all doomed."
Eric Parks
----
"I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it."
Oscar Wilde
----
"I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem."
Oscar Wilde
----
"By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely
overwhelm me."
Oscar Wilde
----
"Maybe I'm lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong
direction."
Oscar Wilde
----
"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without
civilization in between."
Oscar Wilde
----
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
Former Vice President Dan Quayle
----
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
J. Danforth Quayle
----
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy -
but that could change."
Former Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/22/89
----
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a
tremendous impact on history."
Former Vice President Dan Quayle
----
"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
Vice President Dan Quayle
----
"TIAC tech support: stealing idiots from villages everywhere."
Purp
----
"TIAC Human resources: stealing idiots from villages everywhere."
Ned Brickley
----
"Art is a telling of stories and drumming is one of the earliest forms of that
art."
Neil Peart
----
"Love is the triumph of imagination over the intelligence."
Danny Cevidanes
----
"If I hammered a three-way plug adapter into my skull and plugged my head into
a wall-socket I'd certainly be getting a lot more intellectual stimulation than
I'm getting now."
Kara Bunting
----
"Success didn't spoil me; I've always been insufferable."
Fran Lebowitz
----
"If you're going to have delusions, you may as well go for the really
satisfying ones."
Marcus Cole, Babylon 5
----
"All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact,
barely presentable."
Fran Lebowitz
----
"Think of how stupid the average person is. Now realize that by definition HALF
of the population is even STUPIDER."
Lex
----
"I can resist everything except temptation."
Oscar Wilde
----
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."
Philip K. Dick
----
"Coincidences are spiritual puns."
G. K. Chesterton
----
"Conscious is when you are aware of something and conscience is when you wish
you weren't."
----
"I had to hit him -- he was starting to make sense."
----
"I'm having an emotional outburst!!"
----
"Hey! I don't steal - I gave that up!"
Steve B.
----
"The closet upstairs: If you can only rub it in one direction, we carry it!"
Lex
----
"Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't
think."
----
"However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my traditional manner
... sulking and nausea."
Tom K. Ryan
----
"If God had meant for us to be in the Army, we would have been born with green,
baggy skin."
----
"Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to
reform."
Mark Twain
----
"Not only is this incomprehensible, but the ink is ugly and the paper is from
the wrong kind of tree."
Professor W.
----
"This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. If this had been an actual
emergency, do you really think we'd stick around to tell you?"
----
"Sometimes I simply feel that the whole world is a cigarette and I'm the only
ashtray."
----
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
Steven Wright
----
"A day without sunshine is like night."
----
"So many rednecks, so little time..."
Kaos
----
"Heh heh death chicks are cool. They do weird sex stuff."
Beavis and Butt-Head
----
"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."
Chyle
----
"It just can't be illegal to kill someone that incompetent!"
ISP owner/sysadmin after speaking with Nynex
----
"He who cannot lie, knows not what truth is."
Nietzche
----
"Everybody has a right to be stupid, but some people abuse the privilege."
JJoseph Stalin
----
"It's cool! It's groovy! It's got penguins! And wibbly bits!"
Pete Scathe
----
"Anything is art if an artist says it is."
Marcel Ducham
----
"I'm a bisexual polyamorous pervert, but I STILL won't sleep with YOU."
David Gerard
----
"We are painted. Fear us."
Grimly The Invisible
----
"I'd like to change your mind by hitting it with a rock."
They Might Be Giants
----
"If I painted my turtle black, would it be spooky?"
Jhonen Vasquez, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac
----
"Reality is frequently inaccurate."
Douglas Adams
----
"Hey, this train doesn't talk!"
Rav3n
----
"It's like a crack pipe for smart people."
Chat room fanatic Arsenio Hall, talking about the Internet
----
"Punk isn't dead, its waiting in ambush. "
Jeff-boy
----
"Life doesn't throw me curve balls. It just hits me with the bat."
Jealousy
----
"Every once in a while, it's a good idea to call out 'Computer, end program,'
just to check."
Dave Noelle
----
"High School is full of morons. Unfortunately most of them TEACH us."
Scott Murray and Iain Conliffe
----
"I hate you all and I hope you have snacks!"
Mystery Science Theater 3000
----
"You sir have just crossed my happy line...."
Timmie
----
"What a cute little cemetery!"
Edvamp
----
"Stick. Electric. Poke. Cow go Zzzt Zzzt."
Peter Nielsen
----
"Should I come over and squeak until you fall asleep?"
Dennis, to Noah
----
"A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn."
----
"The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man
hardly anything."
Goethe
----
"Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth."
John F. Kennedy
----
"The dreams of youth are the regrets of maturity."
Darkness, Legend
----
"First things first, but not necessarily in that order."
Doctor Who
----
"And you must always remember there's one good thing about being trapped down
here: it'll save funeral expenses."
Puddleglum
----
It doesn't matter what temperature a room is; it's always room temperature
----
Not all those who wander are lost....
----
"The only religion I know is Love."
Mahatma Ghandi
----
"The Moral Law tells us the tune we have to play: our instincts are merely the
keys."
C S Lewis
----
"Human beings, all over the earth, have this curious idea that they ought to
behave in a certain way, and can't really get rid of it."
C S Lewis
----
"Who can endure a doctrine which would allow only dentists to say whether our
teeth were aching, only cobblers to say whether our shoes hurt us, and only
governments to tell us whether we were being well governed?"
C S Lewis
----
...Sooner or later you're going to realize just as I did that there's a
difference between knowing the path and walking the path.
From The Matrix
----
"Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get
neither."
Clive Staples Lewis (1898-1963), British writer, critic, "Allegory of Love," "The Chronicles of Narnia"
----
"Notice the waves, each moving in its own order, predictable, unchanging. But
drop in a single stone and see how the pattern changes. Everything around it is
altered."
Ambassador Delenn to Sinclair in Babylon 5:"The Gathering"
----
"On my world, there are books, thousands of pages, about the power of one mind
to change the Universe, but none said it as clearly as this."
Delenn to Sinclair in Babylon 5:"The Gathering"
----
"Damn. You see, it's your fault. You're bad luck. I've always said that about
him. Now, come on, come on. Look, you're a security chief. Shouldn't you be out
securing something?"
Londo to Garibaldi in Babylon 5:"The Gathering"
----
"Even for an alien, this one is pretty alien."
Dr. Kyle to Sinclair about Kosh in Babylon 5:"The Gathering"
----
"We have unlimited manpower and the will to use it! Can you imagine what we
could achieve together?"
"I can, which is why it must never be allowed to happen."
G'Kar and Delenn in Babylon 5:"The Gathering"
----
"You make very good sharks, Mr. Garibaldi. We were pretty good sharks ourselves
once, but somehow, along the way, we forgot how to bite. There was a time when
this whole quadrant belonged to us. What are we now? Twelve worlds and a
thousand monuments to past glories. Living off memories and stories, selling
trinkets."
Londo to Garibaldi in Babylon 5:"The Gathering"
----
"My god, man. We've become a tourist attraction. 'See the great Centauri
Republic -- open 9 to 5, Earth time.'"
Londo to Garibaldi in Babylon 5:"The Gathering"
----
"I haven't broken the rules in a long time, doctor, so I guess .. I'm about
due."
Takashima to Dr. Kyle in Babylon 5:"The Gathering"
----
"Michael, I picked you because you are right for the job. You are not
politicking, you are not subtle, and sometimes you are a pain in the ass. And I
wouldn't have it any other way."
Sinclair to Garibaldi in Babylon 5:"The Gathering"
----
"There is a hole .. in your mind."
The Assassin to Sinclair in Babylon 5:"The Gathering"
----
"Commander, this little breach of security isn't going to affect my Christmas
bonus, is it?"
Garibaldi to Sinclair in Babylon 5:"The Gathering"
----
"Delenn, just before he died, the Minbari assassin looked at me and said:
'There's a hole in your mind.'"
"An old Minbari insult. Nothing you need worry about."
Sinclair and Delenn in Babylon 5:"The Gathering"
----
"I would never tell you anything that was not in your best interest."
Delenn to Sinclair in Babylon 5:"The Gathering"
----
"A poem: a story in meter or rhyme."
"Ahh. 'There once was a man from Nantucket..'"
"You've been talking to Garibaldi again, haven't you?"
Delenn and Sinclair in Babylon 5:"The Gathering"
----
"All I'm asking is that you trust me."
"Trust you? Londo, my brain will be five days dead before I ever trust a
Centauri. The first time we met you people, the first time we met any other
civilization, you told us you practically ran the entire galaxy."
Londo and Garibaldi in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"Appearances aside, we are two completely different species."
"A clerical error."
Garibaldi and Londo in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"Okay, we made a mistake. I'm sorry. Here, open my wrist."
"Centauri don't have major arteries in their wrist."
"Of course we don't. What do you think, I'm stupid?"
Londo and Garibaldi in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"Your diligence is commendable. Anything else?"
"No, I just--"
"Then, if you'll excuse me, but I'm in the middle of 15 things, all of them
annoying. Thank you for coming by."
Ivanova to Winters in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"My father always told me: 'The best way to understand someone is to fight him,
make him angry. That's when you see the real person.'"
Sinclair to Ivanova in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"He taught me everything I know about flying, and combat. He said to ignore the
propaganda, focus on what you see. I've never seen the Minbari fight
dishonorably. They never pull a sneak attack."
Sinclair to Ivanova in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"So, who are you voting for?"
"I think I'll vote for Marie Crane. .. I do not like Santiago. I always thought
that a leader should have a strong chin. He has no chin and his vice-president
has several. This, to me, is not a good combination."
Sinclair and Ivanova in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"We should've wiped out your kind when we had the chance."
"What happened? Run out of small children to butcher?"
Londo and G'Kar in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"You eat like a starving man."
"Seeing death has the way of doing that to me."
Ivanova and Garibaldi in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"If you ask me, the universe is going to hell in a handbasket."
Garibaldi to Ivanova in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"They are alone. They are a dying people. We should let them pass."
"Who? The Narn or the Centauri?"
"Yes."
Kosh and Sinclair in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"Mr. Garibaldi, you are sitting in my station, using my equipment. Is there a
reason for this, or to save time should I just go ahead and snap your hands off
at the wrist?"
Ivanova to Garibaldi in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"The Council, the Council can go to hell. And the emergency session can go to
hell. And you, you can go to hell too. I wouldn't want you to feel left out!"
Londo to Vir Cotto in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"Londo, Londo, why are you doing this?"
"Because, we are a race of lunatics and cowards."
Vir and Londo in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"Well, unlike me, the Lieutenant Commander takes a while to warm up to people,
especially when she's working."
Garibaldi to Winters in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"The Earth Alliance can't go around being the galaxy's policemen."
The Senator to Sinclair in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"Mr. Garibaldi! Just now, would you really have killed me?"
"Yes. Yes, I would've, but I'm just as glad I didn't have to. The paperwork's a
pain in the butt."
Londo and Garibaldi in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"Had the silly thing in reverse."
Duck Dodgers in Babylon 5:"Midnight on the Firing Line"
----
"Always this busy around here?"
"Yes. We like it that way."
Dr. Franklin and LtCmdr. Ivanova in Babylon 5:"Soul Hunter"
----
Nothing's ever really changed. What difference does it make whether it's the
Corporate state or the Nation state? In our struggle for freedom we still find
ourselves fighting the state.
Jay Terpstra
----
War is one of the scourges with which it has pleased God to afflict men.
Cardinal Richelieu
----
Do not speak harshly to any one; those who are spoken to will answer thee in
the same way. Angry speech is painful: blows for blows will touch thee.
Buddha, The Dharmapada
----
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I
intended to be.
Douglas Adams
----
Love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself.
Saint Exupery
----
"Um amigo de verdade não é aquele que separa uma briga sua e sim aquele que
chega dando voadora."
"a true friend is not that one that separates to one fight its and yes that one
that arrives giving flying."
----
one thing with open source is, you can't criticize it, because they'll only
tell you to make it better
----
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. On my
desk, I have a work station...
----
Anarchy, n. Other peoples freedom.
----
Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
----
Blonde is not a hair color, it is a state of mind.
----
Life was simple before World War II. After that, we had systems.
Grace Hopper (1906-1992)
----
Nobody believed that I had a running compiler and nobody would touch it. They
told me computers could only do arithmetic.
Grace Hopper (1906-1992)
----
A ship in port is safe; but that is not what ships are built for.
Grace Hopper (1906-1992)
----
The wonderful thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose
from.
Grace Hopper (1906-1992), in Computer Networks, 1st. ed (1981)
----
"But Grace, then anyone will be able to write programs!"
Said to Grace Hopper regarding COBOL
----
Don't take life too seriously: it isn't permanent.
----
I meant what I said and I said what I meant . . . An elephant's faithful One
hundred percent.
Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991), Horton Hatches the Egg (1940)
----
Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.
Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel) (1904 - 1991)
----
Every time you make something idiot-proof, some bastard re-invents the idiot!
----
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
----
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
----
Have a nice day, somewhere else.
----
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
----
I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I have forgotten
this before!
----
I'm not as stupid as you look.
----
I'm on top of the world and afraid of heights.
----
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes
suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
----
I don't have an attitude problem: you have a perception problem!
----
I don't need your attitude, I have one of my own!
----
"I must do something" will always solve more problems than "Something must be
done".
----
I think, therefore I am wrong.
----
If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con', what is the opposite of 'progress'?
Mark Twain
----
If the left half of the brain controls the right hand, and the right half the
left, than left-handed people are the only ones in their right minds.
----
If the sheep vote, then so must the wolves.
----
If voting changed anything it would be illegal.
----
If winners never quit, and quitters never win, what loser came up with quit
while you're ahead?
----
If you can't appreciate it, You don't deserve it.
----
If you cannot win, make the one ahead of you break the record.
----
If you don't like relationships that end, why start them in the first place?
----
In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
----
In the entire history of the world, nobody ever washed a rented car.
----
It's been a long week today.
----
It's hard to answer what's wrong... when nothing is right.
----
It's mind over matter. You don't mind, it don't matter.
----
It doesn't matter whether you view the glass as half full or half empty,
there's still only half a glass worth's there.
----
It is not ignorance that is the problem, but the illusion of knowledge.
----
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
----
Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
----
Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living and the other
helps you make a life.
----
Nine women cannot deliver a baby in one month.
F.P. Brooks, The Mythical Man-Month: Essays on Software Engineering
----
No one's perfect; well there was this one guy, but we killed him.
----
Nothing is right in my left brain, nothing is left in my right brain.
----
People say I shouldn't frown because it uses more muscles than smiling. Then I
point out that Americans need their exercise.
----
Pessimists are just realist optimists
----
Pray for what you want. Work for what you need.
----
Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write it should be
hard to understand.
----
Realists are just pessimists looking for an excuse for themselves.
----
Reality is a poor substitute for my dreams.
----
"Right" or "Wrong" is always dependent on the context.
----
"Should" and "is" are two different things.
----
Should have, would have, could have but didn't.
----
Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them
speak.
----
Some people can carry a tune, and others just drag it behind them in the dirt.
----
Someday we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
----
Sometimes, no matter how much you do, or how much you try, someone will not
understand how much you've done until you're gone and they have no one left who
actually cares about them, who can look out for them, and who will understand.
----
Tell us what you need and we'll tell you how to get by without it.
----
Temptation is seen from a distance never near.
----
The best defense against logic is ignorance.
----
The glass isn't half empty. It isn't half full. It's just twice the size it
should be.
----
The only thing in life achieved without effort is failure.
----
The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire.
----
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds. The
pessimist fears this is true.
----
There are only 10 types of people in the world; those who understand trinary,
those who don't, and those who mistake it for binary.
----
There are three types of people in this world: the ones who can count, and
those who can't.
----
There are three types of people in this world: the ones who keep you alive, the
ones who would otherwise cause you to die, and the ones who somehow manage to
do both at the same time.
----
They may not remember what you said but they will remember how you made them
feel.
----
Those who think they know-it-all are very annoying to those of us who do.
----
Violence is not the answer, however it is a pretty good guess.
----
You can please all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all
of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time.
----
You ever feel like the world's a giant game of musical chairs and the music has
stopped and we're the only ones without chairs?
----
You have such a pretty smile ... it's a shame the things you hide behind it.
----
"Welcome to DALNet! Where the men are men, the women are men, and the teenage
girls are undercover FBI Agents!"
DALNet IRC Welcome Message
----
First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers
into letters with ASCII and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered
graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've
realized it's a brochure
Douglas Adams
----
Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of backup tapes
hurling down the highway.
Andrew Tanenbaum
----
Of course, the best way to get accurate information on Usenet is to post
something wrong and wait for corrections.
Matthew Austern
----
Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million
typewriters, and Usenet is nothing like Shakespeare.
Blair Houghton
----
Will journalling become prevalent in the Unix world at large? Probably not.
After all, it's nonstandard.
The UNIX-HATERS Handbook (1994)
----
The most horrifying thing about Unix is that, no matter how many times you hit
yourself over the head with it, you never quite manage to lose consciousness.
It just goes on and on
Patrick Sobalvarro
----
Your job is being a professor and researcher: That's one hell of a good excuse
for some of the brain-damages of minix.
Linus Torvalds to Tanenbaum (author of Minix)
----
VMS is a text-only adventure game. If you win you can use unix.
W. Davidson
----
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't
believe this to be a coincidence
Jeremy S. Anderson
----
Fixing Unix is easier than living with NT.
Jonathan Gilpin
----
Linux is only free if your time is worthless.
----
UNIX is an operating system, OS/2 is half an operating system, Windows is a
shell, and DOS is a boot partition virus.
Peter H. Coffin
----
Always program as if the person who will be maintaining your program is a
violent psychopath that knows where you live
Martin Golding
----
Do what you think is interesting, do something that you think is fun and
worthwhile, because otherwise you won't do it well anyway.
Brian Kernighan
----
.HELP SEX: This system is a computer and as such is not able to help with
enquiries of this nature. For details on reproduction see the Xerox
documentation.
Help text from Essex Dec10
----
Around computers it is difficult to find the correct unit of time to measure
progress. Some cathedrals took a century to complete. Can you imagine the
grandeur and scope of a program that would take as long?
Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
----
I invented it, Bill made it famous
David Bradley (wrote the code for Ctrl-Alt-Delete on the IBM PC)
----
Trust The Computer. The Computer is your friend.
Paranoia RPG
----
The disadvantage of working over networks is that you can't so easily go into
someone else's office and rip their bloody heart out
Jim McDonald
----
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.
Steve Wozniak
----
Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently
programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.
Isaac Asimov
----
I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them.
Isaac Asimov
----
Software is the soul to the lifeless body of the hardware.
Ong Lee Shyh
----
Any significant boost in technology could just as easily be a rigged demo.
----
Humans are the best value in computers - where else can you get a non-linear
computer weighing only about 160lbs, having a billion binary decision elements,
that can be mass-produced by unskilled labour?
----
Heuristics are bug ridden by definition - if they didn't have bugs, then they'd
be algorithms.
----
You have a hardware or a software problem
service manual for Gestetner 3240
----
NEVER EVER mess with a PCB jumper you don't understand, even if it's labelled
'SEX AND FREE BEER'.
Dave Haynie
----
Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more
user-friendly... Their best approach, so far, has been to take all the old
brochures, and stamp the words, 'user-friendly' on the cover
Bill Gates
----
I don't understand why cheerleaders won't talk to me. Maybe I don't throw five
touchdowns against Newport High, but let's see one of those football morons
program in assembly language.!
Chris Lipe
----
You know you're a geek when... You try to shoo a fly away from the monitor with
your cursor. That just happened to me. It was scary.
Juuso Heimonen
----
You can create art and beauty with a computer
Steven Levy
----
The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small children.
Linus Torvalds
----
When all else fails, read the instructions.
L. Iasellio
----
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.
Donald Knuth
----
Error, keyboard not found - press F1 to continue.
BIOS system message
----
Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code.
----
Software is like entropy. It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing, and obeys
the second law of thermodynamics; i.e. it always increases.
Norman R. Augustine
----
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of
course, in a state of sin.
John von Neumann (1951)
----
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance
Robert R. Coveyou, Oak Ridge National Laboratory
----
/* You are not expected to understand this */
comment in the context-switching code of the V6 Unix kernel
----
Premature optimization is the root of all evil
C. A. R. Hoare
----
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger
and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and
better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Rich Cook
----
If your computer speaks English, it was probably made in Japan.
Alan J. Perlis
----
If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.
Norm Schryer
----
Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones
in movies.
Bill Bulko
----
I have never seen anything fill up a vacuum so fast and still suck.
Rob Pike (commenting on the X Window System)
----
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of
your life.
Michael Sinz
----
Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it
is bad, it is better than nothing.
Dick Brandon
----
If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach
them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.
----
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error
Weisert
----
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later
F. Brooks, The Mythical Man-Month
----
A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program in than
some that do
Dennis M. Ritchie
----
Base eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers
Tom Lehrer
----
Software Engineering is that part of Computer Science which is too difficult
for the Computer Scientist.
F. L. Bauer
----
Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it.
Seymore Cray (on virtual memory)
----
Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error.
----
Computers do not solve problems, they execute solutions
Laurent Gasser
----
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they
make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Andy Rooney
----
Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex
manuals without the software.
Arthur C. Clarke
----
Captain Elizabeth Lochley : What the hell is your problem?
Michael Garibaldi : For starters, I don't know you, therefore I don't trust you.
Captain Elizabeth Lochley : The world is full of people you don't know.
Michael Garibaldi : I worry about that all the time.
Babylon 5
----
Captain John Sheridan : Are you trying to cheer me up?
Susan Ivanova : No sir, wouldn't dream of it.
Captain John Sheridan : Good, I hate being cheered up.
Susan Ivanova : In that case we're all going to die slow, agonizing deaths.
Captain John Sheridan : Thank you, I feel so much better now.
Babylon 5
----
Susan Ivanova : Always finding good in every situation, Captain?
Captain John Sheridan : Absolutely. If I didn't, I might end up like you.
Susan Ivanova : Hey, what's that supposed to mean? Did anybody else hear that?
Babylon 5
----
Ambassador Londo Mollari : When I said my quarters were cold, I did not mean,
'Oh, I think it's a little chilly in here, perhaps I'll throw a blanket on the
bed.' No, I said it was COLD, as in, 'Oh, my left arm has snapped off like an
icicle and shattered on the floor'! This is highly inappropriate, Captain!
Captain John Sheridan : You're right. There are several other parts of your
body I'd much rather see snapped off.
Babylon 5
----
Dukhat : When others do a foolish thing, you should tell them it is a foolish
thing. They can still continue to do it, but at least the truth is where it
needs to be.
Babylon 5
----
Kosh Naranek : The avalanche has already started; it is too late for the
pebbles to vote.
Babylon 5
----
Susan Ivanova : Ivanova is always right. I will listen to Ivanova. I will not
ignore Ivanova's recommendations. Ivanova is God. *And*, if this ever happens
again, Ivanova will personally rip your lungs out!
Babylon 5
----
Captain Susan Ivanova : Good luck, captain. I think you're about to go where...
everyone has gone before.
Babylon 5
----
Ambassador Vir Cotto : Prophecy is a guess that comes true. When it doesn't,
it's a metaphor.
Babylon 5
----
Lennier : They trained you well on Minbar.
Marcus Cole : They said I had a lot of repressed anger.
Lennier : And?
Marcus Cole : I'm not repressed anymore!
Babylon 5
----
Elric : As I look at you, Ambasador Mollari, I see a great hand reaching out of
the stars. And I hear sounds; the sounds of billions of people calling out your
name.
Ambassador Londo Mollari : My followers?
Elric : Your victims.
Babylon 5
----
Citizen G'Kar : Do you want to be president?
Captain John Sheridan : Yes.
Citizen G'Kar : Then put your hand on the book and say I do.
Captain John Sheridan : I do.
Citizen G'Kar : Good, let's eat.
Babylon 5
----
Sinclair : I'm still waiting for an explanation, gentlemen.
Ambassador Londo Mollari : Yes, and I'm prepared to give you one, Commander, as
soon as the room stops spinning.
Sinclair : This station creates gravity by rotation. It never stops spinning.
Ambassador Londo Mollari : Well, you begin to see my problem.
Babylon 5
----
Ambassador Londo Mollari : Stop eating that! You don't even know what it is.
Citizen G'Kar : Something called..."rice."
Ambassador Londo Mollari : Yes. And if it was any good, do you think they would
have been standing there, throwing it at people?
Babylon 5
----
Major Krantz : What if we take you with us, put you on trial.
Zathras : Zathras not of this time. You take, Zathras die. You leave, Zathras
die. Either way, it is bad for Zathras.
Babylon 5
----
Citizen G'Kar : If I take a lamp and shine it toward the wall, a bright spot
will appear on the wall. The lamp is our search for truth... for understanding.
Too often, we assume that the light on the wall is God, but the light is not
the goal of the search, it is the result of the search. The more intense the
search, the brighter the light on the wall. The brighter the light on the wall,
the greater the sense of revelation upon seeing it. Similarly, someone who does
not search - who does not bring a lantern - sees nothing. What we perceive as
God is the by-product of our search for God. It may simply be an appreciation
of the light... pure and unblemished... not understanding that it comes from
us. Sometimes we stand in front of the light and assume that we are the center
of the universe - God looks astonishingly like we do - or we turn to look at
our shadow and assume that all is darkness. If we allow ourselves to get in the
way, we defeat the purpose, which is to use the light of our search to
illuminate the wall in all its beauty and in all its flaws; and in so doing,
better understand the world around us.
Babylon 5
----
Drazi Ambassador : Captain Sheridan! We thought you were dead!
Captain John Sheridan : I was. I'm better now.
Babylon 5
----
Marcus Cole : [after beating someone for information] Its like I always say,
you get more with a kind word and a two-by-four than with just a kind word.
Babylon 5
----
Susan Ivanova : Ambassador, do you really want to know what's going on down
there?
Ambassador Londo Mollari : Yes, absolutely!
Susan Ivanova : Boom. Boom boom boom. Boom boom. Boom! Have a nice day!
Babylon 5
----
Citizen G'Kar : With luck, they may never find you, but if they do, you will
know pain...
Na'Toth #2 : And you will know fear.
Citizen G'Kar : And then you will die. Have a pleasant flight.
Babylon 5
----
Lt. Kemmer: I demand you open a channel to Earth at once.
Susan Ivanova : I'm a Lieutenant Commander on Earth Force, Major. I don't take
demands. If you will request, I will consider it.
Lt. Kemmer: Very well, then. I request that you open a channel to Earthdome.
Susan Ivanova : Request denied. Have a nice day.
Babylon 5
----
Sinclair : Ready?
Delenn : Why is it that your people always ask someone if they are ready right
before you are about to do something massively unwise?
Sinclair : Tradition.
Babylon 5
----
Captain John Sheridan : Delenn, I have been working up a good mad all day and I
am NOT about to let you ruin it by agreeing with me!
Babylon 5
----
Lt. Commander Susan Ivanova : I'll *gain* weight!
Dr. Stephen Franklin : At first, yes.
Lt. Commander Susan Ivanova : Fine! All my life I've fought against
imperialism; now *I'm* the expanding Russian frontier!
Dr. Stephen Franklin : Yes, but with very nice borders.
Babylon 5
----
I have decided that suicide is completely out of the question. I refuse to end
the suffering of others... No, I must contemplate homicide and end the
suffering of one... ME!!!
----
An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad to lie for his country.
Sir Henry Wotton
----
The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write,
but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.
Calvin Toffler
----
The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's
on.
JJoseph Heller from Catch 22
----
"People want more. Thought is overrated. Look back at history, my dear
Socrates, and you will see that all the powerful ideas that have moved men most
were simpleminded and superficial, never deep."
JJoseph Heller from Catch 22
----
Man is by nature a political animal.
Aristotle , Politics
----
The people who oppose your ideas the most are those who represent the
establishment that your ideas will upset.
Anthony J. D'Angelo , The College Blue Book
----
Never doubt that a small group of committed citizens can change the world.
Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Margaret Mead
----
There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of
things that never were, and ask why not?
Robert F. Kennedy
----
All thought is naught but a footnote to Plato.
George Santiano
----
The gods too are fond of a joke.
Aristotle
----
The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his
life by altering his attitude.
William James
----
To find something you can enjoy is far better than finding something you can
possess.
Glenn Holm
----
Do all the good you can, By all the means you can, In all the ways you can, In
all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all the people you can, As
long as ever you can.
John Wesley
----
To attempt an understanding of Muad'Dib without understanding his mortal
enemies, the Harkonnens, is to attempt seeing Truth without knowing Falsehood.
It is the attempt to see the Light without knowing Darkness. It cannot be.
from "Manual of Muad'Dib" by the Princess Irulan
----
A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that the balances are
correct. This every sister of the Bene Gesserit knows. To begin your study of
the life of Muad'Dib, then, take care that you first place him in his time:
born in the 57th year of the Padishah Emperor, Shaddam IV. And take the most
special care that you locate Muad'Dib in his place: the planet Arrakis. Do not
be deceived by the fact that he was born on Caladan and lived his first fifteen
years there. Arrakis, the planet known as Dune, is forever his place.
from "Manual of Muad'Dib" by the Princess Irulan
----
There should be a science of discontent. People need hard times and oppression
to develop psychic muscles.
from "Collected Sayings of Muad'Dib" by the Princess Irulan
----
'Mood? What has mood to do with it? You fight when the necessity arises — no
matter the mood! Mood's a thing for cattle or making love or playing the
baliset. It's not for fighting.'
counsel of Gurney Halleck to young Paul.
----
"Any road followed precisely to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the
mountain just a little bit to test that it's a mountain. From the top of the
mountain, you cannot see the mountain."
from "Muad'Dib: Family Commentaries" by the Princess Irulan
----
My father once told me that respect for the truth comes close to being the
basis for all morality. "Something cannot emerge from nothing," he said. This
is profound thinking if you understand how unstable "the truth" can be.
from "Conversations with Muad'Dib" by the Princess Irulan
----
<_molly_> i only shower when i A: smell, or B: fall into the mudd
<melf> Does B happen a lot ?
Seen on Bash.org - #46712
----
( l008com) Hey does anyone know how David Blaine levitates?
( LoganCale) There are two ways.
( LoganCale) One way he's on a cable and they digitally edit it out.
( l008com) no he's on ABC thats not cable
Seen on Bash.org - #311282
----
<|P0SiX|> you version'd me because?
<Valin> Because I wanted to see if you are one of those damn Microsoft OS
users. You are, and you shouldn't have any nick that has anything to do with
the better OSes (the free, unix-like OSes) because anything affiliated with
those OSes are too good for the likes of you to soil
<|P0SiX|> [Valin VERSION reply]: mIRC32 v5.41
Seen on Bash.org - #798
----
<DigiGnome> Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.
<DigiGnome> I need my socks.
Seen on Bash.org - #1660
----
<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
<+Christin1> how do i do that
Seen on Bash.org - #3936
----
Panny: I could sell my soul back to my ex for a computer.
RebelPrincess: don't.
Panny: I could sell my soul to Microsoft for a computer.
RebelPrincess: don't!!!!
Seen on Bash.org - #9262
----
<Pi> Violence solves everything.
<Pi> If you have a problem that violence doesn't solve, then you're not using
enough of it.
Seen on Bash.org - #43724
----
<wecell> new apples look fairly interesting, but i'd hate to buy into something
that is going to CRASH all the time.
<DigDug> wecell : What are you using right now?
<wecell> i've always used windows machines.
Seen on Bash.org - #16
----
@(DonoftheDead) They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards you hear satanic
messages. That's nothing, because if you play it forwards it installs Windows.
Seen on Bash.org - #83891
----
<Soybomb> On the way home yesterday, I saw a car with a vanity plate that read:
LINUX OS
<Soybomb> I really wished for a truck with a WINDOWS plate to ram it...sadly,
no.
<Druuna> unfortunately, you'd probably crash before hitting it...
Seen on Bash.org - #148121
----
<cheapo> haha, this screen appeared on my windows that said "time before
shutdown: 60 seconds"
<cheapo> so i turned the windows clock 2 years backwards and now it says "time
before shutdown: 729 days" :D:D
<cheapo> i just love windows :D
Seen on Bash.org - #227455
----
* Reddog is now known as You
* You have performed an Illegal operation, please Restart Windows
* You is now known as Reddog
* Desh has quit IRC (Quit: brb gotta restart windows...stupid trillian yelling
at me)
Seen on Bash.org - #238969
----
<RaZ> I should burn my windows ME CD
<Thrawn> no piracy
<RaZ> I mean BURN it
Seen on Bash.org - #31899
----
<Neon[UK]>im considering using redhat as my desktop pc
<Neon[UK]>its just so much better
<Neon[UK]>windows error: OMFG THERZZ AN ERRROR!!111 WTF??!?!?!
<Neon[UK]>linux error: hello there, you have an error. here's a detailed list
of whats gone wrong and he's how to fix it, would you like some coffee?
Seen on Bash.org - #65749
----
<Psinic> windows 98 is like that drunk uncle that thinks he knows everything
and always tries to convince you he was a CIA operative, and when you argue, he
gets violent and then passes out.
Seen on Bash.org - #14776
----
<Frag_> whats a good bench mark program?
<Ghaleon> Frag_: deltree /y c:\windows
<Ghaleon> the longer it takes, the slower your computer is
<Ghaleon> (ps, just a joke)
<Frag_> uh can i undo deltree?
Seen on Bash.org - #2884
----
<Ramza> well how come it's down for me?
<Ramza> and don't say because of windows
<Cyan683> Does it give an error, or does it say "Unknown Host"?
<Ramza> yes
<Cyan683> .....
<Cyan683> YES IS NOT AN ANSWER TO "A OR B?"
* Cyan683 sets mode: +i
* Ramza was kicked by Cyan683 (Wham! -- Kibou to Hikari no script)
* Cyan683 sets mode: -i
* Ramza (spoon@anandtech.com) has joined #starmen
<Ramza> no?
Seen on Bash.org - #36672
----
krlgol2: Microsoft has also managed to upset women and entire countries. A
Spanish-language version of Windows XP, destined for Latin American markets,
asked users to select their gender between "not specified," "male" or "bitch,"
because of an unfortunate error in translation.
Seen on Bash.org - #395262
----
"Windows - when reboot is the only option"
----
DO you who know what we suffer here, do not forget us in your prayers.
from Manual of Muad'Dib by the Princess Irulan
----
Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that
makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.
from "The Sayings of Muad'Dib" by the Princess Irulan
----
"Don't make me laugh Starfleet ... and don't make me pull rank on you either."
B'Elanna to Harry, from Star Trek Voyager -
----
"Commander Chakotay was just showing me how to contact my animal guide."
Janeway to Torres
"I hope you had more success with your animal guide than I had with mine."
Torres to Janeway
"B'Elanna is the only person I know who tried to kill her animal guide"
Chakotay
From Star Trek Voyager
----
B'Elanna: "Harry."
Harry: "B'Elanna, shouldn't you be in engineering? What are you doing here?"
B'Elanna: "Just answer one question, Starfleet. Where is here?"
Harry: "What?"
B'Elanna: "Where am I?"
From Star Trek Voyager
----
"At ease, Ensign, before you sprain something"
Janeway, From Star Trek Voyager
----
<watashi-x> Oh my God! Are you attemping to DoS me?
<Polymer> WTF are you talking about dumb ass
<Polymer> I can't get into your MS-DOS
Seen at Bash.org - #14
----
<wecell> new apples look fairly interesting, but i'd hate to buy into something
that is going to CRASH all the time.
<DigDug> wecell : What are you using right now?
<wecell> i've always used windows machines.
Seen at Bash.org - #16
----
<pezmasta> my band is gonna be called: rage against the answering machine
Seen at Bash.org - #30
----
[17:05] *** D1 sets mode: +o C-Rock
<D1> oh wait, I was trying to kick you.
Seen at Bash.org - #33
----
Most of our so-called reasoning consists in finding arguments for going on
believing as we already do.
James Harvey Robinson
----
In all things there are three choices: Yes, No & no choice, except in this -- I
either choose the truth or I am deceit.
Sovereign
----
Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow
strong by conflict.
William Ellery Channing
----
All we have of freedom -- all we use or know -- This our fathers bought for us,
long and long ago.
Rudyard Kipling
----
There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it.
Cicero
----
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and
leave a trail.
----
He helps others most, who shows them how to help themselves.
A. P. Gouthey
----
While you're saving your face, you're losing your ass.
President Lyndon Johnson
----
Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
Roger Babson
----
Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.
Slovenian Proverb
----
Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the
same reason.
Mark Twain
----
A computer is almost human - except that it does not blame its mistakes on
another computer.
----
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
Bob Wells
----
Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.
Confucius , Analects
----
If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write things
worth reading about or do things worth writing about.
Ben Franklin
----
Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step; only he who
keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find the right road.
Dag Hammarskjold
----
Everyone is kneaded out of the same dough but not baked in the same oven.
Yiddish proverb
----
When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them.
Confucius, The Confucian Analects
----
A good plan executed today is better than a perfect plan executed at some
indefinite point in the future.
George S. Patton , General
----
"What's important is not that we can conceive the idea, but that when we
actually test it on people you discover it doesn't work... your intuition is
wrong."
Daniel M. Russell (IBM Almaden / Xerox PARC)
----
Torres: "It may be the warriors who get the glory but it's the engineers who
build societies, don't forget that."
From Star Trek Voyager 7x10 - Flash And Blood #2
----
Dying for Amber is easy...but living for something... that's something much
more difficult.
Bleys from One year leater - The chronicles of Amber, Roger Zelazny
----
Everything seemed hopeless... and then, it got worse.
Benedict from One year leater - The chronicles of Amber, Roger Zelazny
----
I'm working on it from time to time. I might even finish it by the end of the
year (I just don't know which year:)
Alex Michailov - seen on his site http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~avm/Amber.shtml
----
To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them.
Hamlet (III.i.64-68)
----
There's something to be said for relatives......it has to be said because it's
unprintable!
Albert Einstein
----
He who exercises government by means of his virtue may be compared to the north
polar star, which keeps its place and all the stars turn towards it.
Confucius , The Confucian Analects
----
When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
Edward BulwerLytton
----
There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.
Goethe
----
I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.
Confucius
----
He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
Terry Cohen
----
It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who has given us the freedom to
demonstrate.
It is the soldier, who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose
coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protestor to burn the flag.
Father Denis Edward O'Brien, USMC
----
<SenorWeird> ugh. I need help
<Duckie5147> with what?
<SenorWeird> I got to the end of a page in this novel i'm reading and I hit the
"page down" button on my keyboard.
<Duckie5147> hahaha
<Duckie5147> you need to read things not one the screen
<SenorWeird> and when the page didn't turn, I got pissed and grabbed the mouse
and was like where's the damn scroll bar"
<SenorWeird> and then I realized...."you're reading a book. let the mouse go."
Seen at Bash.org - #34066
----
<@Exor[B-AFK]> yeah apparently a teacher in britain was arrested. on him they
found a pencil, eraser, ruler, protractor and compass. They said he was part of
the Al Gebra network, and that he had weapons of math instruction!
<@Exor[B-AFK]> HA HA.
* Exor[B-AFK] shoots self
Seen at Bash.org - #98701
----
(Skyler) Alright
(Skyler) Everyone ready?
*** rarrzeroEXE (Hat@1Cust73.tnt3.seymour.in.da.uu.net) Quit (cosmos.esper.net
chocobo.esper.net)
*** IAN6990 (XX2IAN2XX@AC98EF09.ipt.aol.com) Quit (cosmos.esper.net
chocobo.esper.net)
*** Silence (Silence@AC8274C2.ipt.aol.com) Quit (cosmos.esper.net
chocobo.esper.net)
*** Valefor (Valefor@pppta13-471.ght.iadfw.net) Quit (cosmos.esper.net
chocobo.esper.net)
*** Flashfire (flashfire.@80.192.168.143) Quit (cosmos.esper.net
chocobo.esper.net)
*** aminal (rah@12-238-242-19.client.attbi.com) Quit (cosmos.esper.net
chocobo.esper.net)
*** Lani (Lani930@12-248-25-241.client.attbi.com) Quit (cosmos.esper.net
chocobo.esper.net)
(Comic-San) ....
Seen at Bash.org - #23272
----
his_madjesty: hey, I wake up in the middle of the night for all sorts of
reasons.
his_madjesty: mostly to get up off the computer chair and go to bed.
Seend at Bash.org - #448646
----
Calvin: "Any monsters under my bed tonight ?!"
Monster: "NOPE!" "NO!" "UHUH"
Calvin: "Well there'd better NOT be! I'd hate to have to torch one with my
flame thrower!"
Hobbes: "You have a flame thrower ??"
Calvin: "They lie I lie"
From CCalvin and Hobbes
----
The man who comes with a tale about others has himself an ax to grind.
Chinese proverb
----
The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do
something stupid.
Art Spander
----
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds
the universe together.
Carl Zwanzig
----
<DigDug> looks like microsoft is extending http
<DigDug> HTTP 403.9 - Access Forbidden: Too many users are connected
<DigDug> Internet Information Services
<OxOO> that must be visual http++
Seen at Bash.org - 764
----
<GaRlic> how you like my new name?
<drunkers> it stinks
Seen at Bash.org - 15614
----
<SomeGuyYouDontKnow> theres a fatal error between the keyboard and the back of
the chair
<Yomanman> Norton Crashguard had to shut downthe chair. all unsaved comfort
settings have been lost
<SomeGuyYouDontKnow> hit any user to continue
Seen at Bash.org - 30248
----
* peer stares at CCOutlaw[fagitz]
*** Quits: CCOutlaw[fagitz] (outlawtorn@FFChat-24919.ipt.aol.com) (Connection
reset by peer)
<peer> :D
Seen at Bash.org - 36905
----
<IsamuDyson> i think they need to get out and meet some people
<BloodFromStone> Hey, I won't allow that kind of talk in here.
Seen at Bash.org - 53321
----
Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's
useless.
Thomas A. Edison
----
If you obey all of the rules, you miss all of the fun.
Katherine Hepburn
----
If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I must be a genius.
Larry Leissner
----
I am not one who was born in the possession of knowledge; I am one who is fond
of antiquity, and earnest in seeking it there.
Confucius , The Confucian Analects
----
Doubt is not a pleasant condition but certainty is an absurd one.
Voltaire
----
"Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far"
Theodore Roosevelt
----
Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them
misunderstood.
H. L. Mencken
----
The question is not, can they reason? Nor, can they talk? But, can they suffer?
Jeremy Bentham
----
Never cut what you can untie.
JJoseph Joubert
----
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
Wilson Mizner
----
More appealing than knowledge itself is the feeling of knowledge.
Daniel J. Boorstin
----
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to
know something.
Wilson Mizner
----
A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.
Wilson Mizner
----
Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on
the way down.
Wilson Mizner
----
If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's
research.
Wilson Mizner
----
Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
Wilson Mizner
----
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark;
professionals built the Titanic
----
just eat all the people on your way up, cause they will eat your heart out on
your way down
Quaqua
----
The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination
Elim Garak
----
Treason, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder
Elim Garak
----
I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle wrapped in a
mystery inside an enigma
Winston Churchill
----
If you think of yourselves as helpless and ineffectual, it is certain that you
will create a despotic government to be your master. The wise despot,
therefore, maintains among his subjects a popular sense that they are helpless
and ineffectual.
Frank Herbert , The Dosadi Experiment
----
"Why do you test for humans?" he asked.
"To set you free."
"Free?"
"Once men turned their thinking over to machines in hope that this would set
them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them."
"Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a man's mind," Paul quoted.
"Right out of the Butlerian Jihad and the Orange Catholic Bible," she said.
From Dune
----
Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.
----
Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to
decide.
Napoleon I
----
If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious values
-- that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all reality has
spiritual control.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
----
** WARNING: USE OF THIS ALPHA RELEASE MAY INFEST YOUR HOUSE WITH **
** TERMITES, ROT YOUR TEETH, GROW HAIR ON YOUR PALMS, AND PASTE **
** INNUENDO INTO YOUR C.V. RIGHT BEFORE A JOB INTERVIEW! **
** DON'T SAY WE DIDN'T WARN YOU, MAN. WE TOTALLY DID RIGHT HERE. **
Seen at media-wiki released notes
----
"No. We have to stay here and there's a simple reason why. Ask ten different
scientists about the environment, population control, genetics and you'll get
ten different answers, but there's one thing every scientist on the planet
agrees on. Whether it happens in a hundred years or a thousand years or a
million years, eventually our Sun will grow cold and go out. When that happens,
it won't just take us. It'll take Marilyn Monroe and Lao-Tzu, Einstein,
Morobuto, Buddy Holly, Aristophanes .. and all of this .. all of this was for
nothing unless we go to the stars."
Commander Sinclair, Babylon 5 "Infection"
----
Civilization exists by geological consent, subject to change without notice.
Will Durant
----
It is wise to direct your anger towards problems -- not people; to focus your
energies on answers -- not excuses.
William Arthur Ward
----
"I/O, I/O, It's off to disk I go, to read or write a bit or byte. I/O, I/O, I/O"
----
"There are only 10 types of people in this world. Those who know ternary, those
who don't and those who confuse it with binary."
----
"Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable."
Ralph Johnson
----
Software is like entropy. It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing, and obeys
the second law of thermodynamics; i.e., it always increases.
Norman R. Augustine
----
"You start coding. I'll go find out what they want."
Computer analyst to programmer
----
The hardest thing is to go to sleep at night, when there are so many urgent
things needing to be done. A huge gap exists between what we know is possible
with today's machines and what we have so far been able to finish.
Donald Knuth
----
"... the psychological profiling [of a programmer] is mostly the ability to
shift levels of abstraction, from low level to high level. To see something in
the small and to see something in the large."
An interview with Donald Knuth (http://home.hccnet.nl/h.vink/lead.htm). Dr. Dobb's Journal, pages 16-22, April 1996
----
Science is what we understand well enough to explain to a computer. Art is
everything else we do.
Donald Knuth - Foreword to the book A=B
----
Any inaccuracies in this index may be explained by the fact that it has been
sorted with the help of a computer.
Donald Knuth - "Sorting and Searching"
----
Premature optimization is the root of all evil (or at least most of it) in
programming.
Donald Knuth - "Computer Programming as an Art" 1974 Turing Award lecture
----
"The most important thing in the programming language is the name. A language
will not succeed without a good name. I have recently invented a very good name
and now I am looking for a suitable language."
Donald Knuth
----
"... in fact what I would like to see is thousands of computer scientists let
loose to do whatever they want. That's what really advances the field."
Donald Knuth
----
A list is only as strong as its weakest link.
Donald Knuth
----
"An algorithm must be seen to be believed."
Donald Knuth
----
Fiona: "You didn't slay the dragon?"
Shrek: "It's on my to-do list."
From Shrek
----
Donkey: "Are we there yet?"
Shrek: "Yes."
Donkey: "Really?"
Shrek: "NOOOO!"
From Shrek 2
----
Puss in Boots: "STOP Ogre! I have misjudged you."
Shrek: "Join the club, we have jackets."
From Shrek 2
----
A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals, and you know it.
1500 years ago, everyone knew that the Earth was the center of the universe.
500 years ago, everyone knew that the Earth was flat. 15 minutes ago, you knew
that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll "know" tomorrow.
Agent K - Man In Black
----
Gentlemen, congratulations. You're everything we've come to expect from years
of government training.
Agent Z - Man In Black
----
"War is good for business." 34th Rule of Acquisition
"Peace is good for business." 35th Rule of Acquisition
Faringi rules of Acquisition - Star Trek
----
The purpose of war is to support your government's decisions by force.
Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers
----
The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have
only one course of action.
Frank Herbert
----
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Albert Einstein
----
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
John Lehman
----
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
Groucho Marx
----
I don't have a C compiler on my system. How can I compile perl?
Since you don't have a C compiler, you're doomed and your vendor should be
sacrificed to the Sun gods. But that doesn't help you.
Seen at perldoc
----
A poor workman blames his tools.
----
You can't grease a "pig" so many times that he can't be greased one more time.
----
You lose some... and you win some... and some you don't even bother to play
----
You need to bait the hook to catch the fish.
----
You'll always miss 100% of the [basketball] shots you don't take.
----
You have to crawl before you can walk.
----
You can't milk a cow with your hands in your pants.
----
You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.
----
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink
----
You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
----
Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but
it doesn't get you anywhere
----
Wide ears and short tongue are the best.
----
Why pay for the cow when the milk is free?"
----
Who keeps company with the wolves, will learn to howl.
----
While the cat is away, the mice will play.
----
When in Rome do as the Romans do.
----
Fortunes exist among leftovers.
----
It's easier to make it than thinking about it.
----
Any training school for free citizens must begin by teaching distrust, not
trust. It must teach questioning, not acceptance of stock answers.
From Dune: House Corrino, Cammar Pilru
----
Facts mean nothing when they are preempted by appearence. Do not underestimate
the power of impression over reality.
From Dune: House Harkonnen, Crown Prince Raphael Corrino
----
Discovery is dangerous but so is life. A man unwilling to take risk is doomed
never to learn, never to grow, never to live.
From Dune: House Harkonnen, Planetologist Pardot Kynes
----
There's no secret to balance. You just have to feel the waves.
From Darwi Odrade, Dune - Chapterhouse
----
When you think to take determination of your fate into your own hands, that is
the moment you can be crushed. Be cautious. Allow for surprises. When we
create, there are always other forces at work.
From Darwi Odrade, Dune - Chapterhouse
----
Intelligence takes chance with limited data in an arena where mistakes are not
only possible but also necessary.
From Darwi Odrade, Dune - Chapterhouse
----
Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your
liberty.
From The Coda, Dune - Chapterhouse
----
We witness a passing phase of eternity. Important things happen but some people
never notice. Accidents intervene. You are not present at episodes. You depend
on reports. And people shutter their minds. What good are reports? History in a
news account? Preselected at an editorial conference, digested and excreted by
prejudice? Accounts you need seldom come from those who make history. Diaries,
memoirs and autobiographies are subjective forms of special pleading. Archives
are crammed with such suspect stuff.
From Darwi Odrade, Dune - Chapterhouse
----
Enter no conflict against fanatics unless you can defuse them. Oppose a
religion with another religion only if your proofs (miracles) are irrefutable
or if you can mesh in a way that the fanatics accept you as god-inspired.
From Missionaria Protectiva, Primary Teaching, Dune - Chapterhouse
----
No sweeteners will cloak some forms of bitterness. If it tastes bitter, spit it
out. That's what our earliest ancestors did.
From The Coda, Dune - Chapterhouse
----
"In a world full surrounded by Windows, we're handing out rocks"
BeOS Radio
----
"Rip. Mix. Burn"
Apple Computer
----
You can't appreciate Shakespeare until you've read him in the original Klingon
General Chang (Star Trek VI)
----
Please Captain, not in front of the Klingons.
Spock, to Kirk (Star Trek V)
----
Humour. It is a difficult concept
Saavik (Star Trek II)
----
I was out saving the galaxy when your grandfather was in diapers
Kirk - Generations
----
You say history considers me dead. Who am I to argue with history?
Kirk - Generations
----
Geordi: "Data... I made that joke seven years ago"
Data: "I know.... I just got it!"
From Generations
----
Normal is what everyone else is and you are not.
Dr. Soran, to Geordi
----
Rumours of my assimilation have been greatly exagerrated
Picard - First Contact
----
Do I annoy you?
Dr. Bashir, Deep Space Nine, The Storyteller
----
The Borg wouldn't know fun if they assimilated an amusement park.
B'Elanna Torres, Voyager
----
Truth is an excuse for the lack of imagination.
Garak, Deep Space Nine
----
Sometimes it's possible to make no mistakes and still lose. It is not a
weakness. It is life.
Jean-Luc Picard, Next Generation, Peak Performance
----
I can't disappear any more than you could win a beauty contest.
Q to Worf, Next Generation, ("Deja Q")
----
The one place where money come before work is in the dictionary
----
Mal: "We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are
so...very...pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die."
serenity, parts 1 & 2, From Firefly
----
Mal: "I don't believe there's a power in the 'verse that can stop Kaylee from
being cheerful." (he smiles at her, never stopping working) "Sometimes you just
wanna duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month."
serenity, parts 1 & 2, From Firefly
----
Mal: "If anyone gets nosy, just...you know... shoot 'em. "
Zoe: "Shoot 'em?"
Mal: "Politely."
serenity, parts 1 & 2, From Firefly
----
Book: "I brought you some supper but if you'd prefer a lecture, I've a few very
catchy ones prepped...sin and hellfire... one has lepers."
serenity, parts 1 & 2, From Firefly
----
Jayne: "Testing, testing. Captain, can you hear me?"
Mal: "I'm standing right here."
Jayne: "You're coming through good and loud."
Mal: " 'Cause I'm standing right here."
serenity, parts 1 & 2, From Firefly
----
Mal: "Well, you were right about this being a bad idea."
Zoe: "Thanks for sayin', sir."
serenity, parts 1 & 2, From Firefly
----
<billyblacktop> yo yo yo, sup my niggas?
<jimmy2toes> your not black
<billyblacktop> how do you know that?
<jimmy2toes> I hacked your webcam, and now I can see you
<billyblacktop> yeah right you cant do that
<jimmy2toes> I can and I did.
<billyblacktop> ok then what color hair do I have
<jimmy2toes> Hmmm, let me zoom in a bit. Blonde, and you are white, about 6'
2", your room has an emenim poster and your bedspread is yellow and blue.
<billyblacktop> holy fuck man im telling the cops
Quits: {billyblacktop} (billyb@235.253.473.232) (Quit:)
<jimmy2toes> LMAO, that was a friend of mine, I just set up his comp today,
and showed him mirc, he doesnt know my nick, what a fat tool!!!
<nellcarterlookalike> A fat tool indeed.
Seen at Bash.org - #16564
----
<Amnesiac> there's something like awk in perl?
Seen at Bash.org - #75470
----
Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals could believe them.
George Orwell
----
If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my ax.
Abraham Lincoln
----
There is nothing wrong with the software that rm won't cure.
Arnie Romo
----
Think big. Pollute the Mississippi.
----
There is no substitute for good manners, except, perhaps, fast reflexes.
----
The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase
it.
Glaser and Way
----
The Jewel of Judgement, Dworkin's text editor.
And people complain about having to learn vi!
----
The Jewel of Judgement, Dworkin's text editor.
And you thought Emacs had a lot of options.
----
The Jewel of Judgement, Dworkin's operating system.
And people complain about Unix having weird command names!
----
/earth is 98% full ... please delete anyone you can.
----
Windows Error 004 -- Operator Fell Asleep While Waiting
----
We are Microsoft...
OS/2 is irrelevant.
UNIX is irrelevant.
Openness is futile.
Prepare to be assimilated.
----
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.
----
Drive defensively. Buy a tank.
----
"We are all individuals. We are all individuals. We are all individuals..."
----
Monday, n.:
In Christian countries, the day after the baseball game.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
----
Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.
----
"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
Woody Allen
----
CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..
----
A cult is a religion with no political power.
Tom Wolfe
----
C Code. C Code run. Run, Code, RUN!
----
Paranoia is what the lazy call wisdom.
----
Remember -- we're only simulating logic.
----
The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they're not
mad they lost. Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy
at the Oscars for her great performance. I was like, 'If you'd done that in the
movie, you'd have won an Oscar, girl!
Chris Rock
----
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best
golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold
the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't
want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush',
'Dick', and 'Colon'.
Chris Rock
----
A man commented to his lunch companion: "My wife had a funny dream last night.
She dreamed she'd married a millionaire." "You're lucky," sighed the companion.
"My wife dreams that in the daytime."
Sam Ewing
----
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Albert Einstein
----
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
Albert Einstein
----
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
Albert Einstein
----
The politicians don't just want your money. They want your soul. They want you
to be worn down by taxes until you are dependent and helpless. When you
subsidize poverty and failure, you get more of both.
James Dale Davidson
----
For every problem there is a solution which is simple, clean and wrong.
Henry Louis Mencken
----
The average man doesn't want to be free. He wants to be safe.
Henry Louis Mencken
----
I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to
want to force it upon anyone.
Henry Louis Mencken
----
The trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with
Christianity is the Christians
Henry Louis Mencken
----
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
Henry Louis Mencken
----
The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they do, but
that they try to make us do as they think
Henry Louis Mencken
----
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
Henry Louis Mencken
----
I believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind - that
its modest and greatly overestimated services on the ethical side have been
more than overcome by the damage it has done to clear and honest thinking
Henry Louis Mencken
----
The only really happy folk are married women and single men.
Henry Louis Mencken
----
The plain truth is that I am not a fair man, and don't want to hear both sides
Henry Louis Mencken
----
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you
would lie if you were in his place.
Henry Louis Mencken
----
History deals mainly with captains and kings, gods and prophets, exploiters and
despoilers, not with useful men
Henry Louis Mencken
----
Very few of us are what we seem.
Agatha Christie
----
Good advice is always certain to be ignored, but that's no reason not to give it
Agatha Christie
----
But surely for everything you love you have to pay some price
Agatha Christie
----
Never do anything yourself that others can do for you.
Agatha Christie
----
Curious things, habits. People themselves never knew they had them.
Agatha Christie
----
Where large sums of money are concerned, it is advisable to trust nobody.
Agatha Christie
----
It is completely unimportant. That is why it is so interesting!
Agatha Christie
----
Too much mercy... often resulted in further crimes which were fatal to innocent
victims who need not have been victims if justice had been put first and mercy
second.
Agatha Christie
----
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams
----
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I
needed to be.
Douglas Adams
----
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
Douglas Adams
----
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
Douglas Adams
----
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Douglas Adams
----
You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
Douglas Adams
----
Value your words. Each one may be the last.
Stanislaw J. Lec
----
In a war of ideas it is people who get killed.
Stanislaw J. Lec
----
The first condition of immortality is death.
Stanislaw J. Lec
----
Advice to writers: Sometimes you just have to stop writing. Even before you
begin.
Stanislaw J. Lec
----
The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.
Jane Wagner
----
random girl: hey!
me: ...hi?
me: who is this?
random girl: Jessica, I saw u on myspace
random girl: ur hot
me: thanks
random girl: np
me: this girl keeps bugging me, but I don't want to talk to her
me: what should I do?
random girl: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing