Apply a 'scorched earth' policy to your bash touch. Or don't. It's dumb.
It's touch. It's touch but with deleting the file you want to touch to make sure it's empty. There is no explanation other than a dumb inside-joke. Stop judging me.
make sure the files are marked as executable
chmod +x ./wartouch
chmod +x ./wtouch
then copy the ./wartouch and ./wtouch files to your /usr/bin directory like so:
cp ./wartouch /usr/bin/wartouch
cp ./wtouch /usr/bin/wtouch