Warn instead of just ignoring user settings when kokkos-tools is disabled

[dalg24]

Fix #5085
Raise a warning when the user passes a command line argument or sets an environment variable that is ignored because kokkos-tools is not actually enabled.

Drive-by change: refactor duplicated code to remove kokkos-tools flags

[dalg24]

This is only a draft because --kokkos-disable-warnings gets parsed after the tools command line arguments so the warnings are raised regardless :/

[dalg24]

This is only a draft because --kokkos-disable-warnings gets parsed after the tools command line arguments so the warnings are raised regardless :/

On second thought, I suggest we merge this and consider this as a known defect in 3.7 that we will fix in 4.0
When we fix #5087 we will be able to parse the Kokkos Core options first which will resolve that defect.

[dalg24]

Clang+CUDA build failure is clearly unrelated. This is ready for review.

[masterleinad]

Looks good to me.

[dalg24]

Ignoring OPENMPTARGET-Clang failure (timeout in KokkosCore_UnitTest_Serial1)